Aura of the Azure

by trvn

In an alternate universe where the world of RWBY is combined with the world of Blazblue. What adventures and events will unfold for our young heroes? Will the heroes be prepared for the threat, or will the evil be too overwhelming? CURRENTLY AT VOL 5. Also has it's own TV Tropes page.

88. Gag Chapter 2 Truce and Tax

Disclaimer: I do not own the blazblue franchise or the RWBY franchise they belong to their respective owners

(A/N)

Initially this chapter was supposed to be released on Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, with a lot of personal factors occurring, I had to delay this gag chapter more than I wanted to. Making things even harder is that I was going over a few drafts for the main story and that took up more time than I thought.

In the context of the gag chapters, no character has been paired with anyone. I know it's obvious but I wanted to make that fact clear.

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Gag Chapter 2 Truce and Tax

(? ? ?)

Currently Salem is going over a lot of ideas that can be implemented for her long-term goals. Though some have ultimately proved to be useless. Like for example a barrage of bad reviews to the academies. While others will take a long time to implement which will be more trouble than it's worth. As Salem was going over more concepts for her various plans. A voice has quickly gotten her attention.

"Urgent letter for Salem." A voice said which got Salem's attention. When she looked at the person, she saw that it was an armored individual who was carrying a bag full of many letters.

"Who are you and how did you get here?" Salem asked in a commanding tone

"People in my specific line of work normally go by enforcer but you can refer to me as Stickler." Stickler answered Salem

"Are you a Huntsman who serves Ozpin?" Salem asked ready to attack the man

"I am not affiliated with Ozpin and I am no mere Huntsman. I represent a worldwide entity that is completely neutral in all manner of conflict. My duties require me to deliver that letter to you and make sure that you understand the details. Now that my job is done, I will take my leave, have a good day." Stickler said before he left as quickly as he came. Getting the strange man out of her mind, Salem started to read the envelope before she started to open it.

"The Income Remnant Services." Salem read before she opened the Envelope and read the letter

"Dear Salem, it has come to our attention that you have claimed villain status on your tax returns but failed to follow one of the mandated guidelines. While also violating several policies that's been stated on your returns. You have 60 days from the time this letter has been delivered to you by our Tax Enforcer to rectify the situation and provide the needed updates or else you will owe a substantial amount in back taxes and will be immediately imprisoned for Tax Fraud and Tax Evasion." Salem read before the realization of the situation finally sunk in

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Salem yelled before she quickly called in her servant

"TYRION!" Salem yelled before the man appeared

"Yes, your grace?" Tyrion asked gleefully

"This is a top priority mission. Bring in everyone." Salem commanded

"Um which one your grace?" Tyrion asked in a curious tone

"EVERYONE!" Salem yelled before Tyrion left to do as he was told

(Moments Later)

It didn't take long for everyone to gather in the meeting hall. The only one who was absent is Terumi but given everything that's going on, he would not be needed. Salem explained the situation to her subordinates and the reality of the situation has sunk in for most of the people in the room.

"How in the world did we get the attention of the Income Remnant Services?" Cinder asked in a slightly panicked tone

"I don't know, but we need to deal with this before the Tax Enforcers come down on us like the Hammer of the Gods." Salem stated before everyone heard Emerald yawn in a careless way

"With all due respect, you have an army of Grimm under your command. How much of a threat can Tax Enforcers be?" Emerald asked before Salem quickly approached her

"I am more than prepared to wage wars against Kingdoms, Huntsman and Huntresses, and Ozpin with his merry inner circle. But even I know never to cross the Tax Enforcers." Salem stated to Emerald

"Indeed, The Income Remnant Services is a force that is not to be trifled with. If they can get to the Kingdom Card Gang. Then they can surely get to us. They make the Atlas Army look like amateurs." Dr. Watts told everyone

"Who's the Kingdom Card Gang?" Emerald asked

"You don't want to know. But let's just say that the Tax Enforcers made an example out of each member. By the time everything was finished. Each member walked into a hoard of Grimm." Mercury said before Cinder spoke up

"The Tax Enforcers serve the entity that collects taxes. Since death and taxes are certain in life. They represent a great form of power." Cinder briefly explained

"What if you become rich, won't that mean you won't have to pay taxes?" Emera asked

"In some cases, but if your caught in their radar. Then it's inevitable that the Tax Enforcers will come after you. Jacques Schnee made the mistake of underestimating them and a disgruntled employee has managed to bring the SDC to the attention of the Income Remnant Services. I will skip the long and arduous details of what happened with the very detailed auditing. But if you were there, you'll see Jacques do a magic trick. The trick will be of him turning the color of his white pants to the color brown. He would have gone to jail, bur thanks to a community service oversight, and certain details of his employees and employment policies. He had to pay the largest tax fine in the history of Atlas." Dr. Watts explained which shocked everyone

"Which is why we need to figure out a way to fix this. Because if I go down for this, know that I will not hesitate to take you all down with me. Especially since one of you haven't paid taxes before." Salem said as she looked at Emerald

"Uh oops." Emerald awkwardly said

"I've looked over the details and it said that the hero/villain collaboration mandate wasn't followed. I thought we were exempt from that?" Hazel asked

"We don't qualify for the exemption therefore . . . ." Salem said before she had a sudden thought

"Ozpin is listed as our hero opposition, which means if we have this letter then that means. . . ." Salem said before a thought came to her mind

(Ozpin's Office)

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ozpin yelled as he read the letter from the Income Remnant Services again in front of Qrow and Glynda.

"You don't need to scream like that again Oz. we already get the message." Qrow told the Headmaster

"I'm sorry, but just thinking about the letter is enough to bring a chill down my spine. Especially since they said that I owe back taxes from my many past lives." Ozpin briefly explained

"Sir, did you really spend a few lifetimes refusing to pay taxes?" Glynda asked

"I was young and I thought they wouldn't catch me, unfortunately they found me. Now we need to find a way to fix this, I hate to say it but we will need to follow one of the mandates." Ozpin told the two

"Which mandate will that be?" Qrow asked

"The Hero/Villain Collaboration Mandate. I suspect Salem won't like the idea but if she received the same letter that I did. Then she will have to work with us. So for now, we will have to have a truce." Ozpin told Qrow

"Will we need to go to her hideout?" Qrow asked

"She won't agree to that." Ozpin said before he muttered under his breath

"Plus if I go to her home, I might violate the divorce agreement." Ozpin quickly muttered before Qrow spoke up

"What did you say Oz?" Qrow asked

"I said let's hurry with the arrangements." Ozpin said before everyone left

(The Meeting Place)

Ozpin and his inner circle had met with Salem's inner circle while Salem herself is projected on a Grimm Seer. The tense rage between everyone quickly died down, when the threat of the Tax Enforcers is on the horizon. A good deal of time has been spent trying to think of a way out of the tax situation and so far nothing solid came through.

"How about a community carwash? If the people knows that the Headmaster is in trouble with the Income Remnant Services. I'm sure everyone will pitch in." Qrow said causing Ozpin to speak up

"Unfortunately we can't do that. I doubt people will happily accept the fact that their hard-earned money will aid both heroes and villains. Besides, due to the guidelines, if we give information to the public about our heroic deeds then we'll need to give information for the villains side. Which will violate a very good portion of our joint NDA's as far as the tax policies and our very temporary truce." Ozpin briefly explained to Qrow before Glynda spoke up

"Which will require us to keep a lot of specific details vague. Something that is a lot harder than most people think." Glynda briefly explained further

"So we will need to do a fundraiser that will not require us to divulge specific details and will guarantee a large amount of funds and ensure that the collaboration mandate is fulfilled. But what can we do that will be quite satisfactory?" Dr. Watts said before Hazel angrily spoke

"How about a class action lawsuit? All parents and guardians sue the negligent headmaster for failing to protect the students." Hazel suggested

"Unfortunately that won't work. Everyone signed the waver before they enrolled so they have no case against the schools. Besides, you're the only one who would love to . . ." Ozpin said before Qrow quickly spoke up

"Wait, that's it, Oz you gave me an idea to solve this and it's because you used the word love." Qrow said as everyone was giving him a confused look before he explained further

"Heart day is coming up, so why don't we do a dating auction with the students. Since the students from the other schools are at Beacon. They can show support by participating in the auction for one date. Where only the students can bid on the participants." Qrow said giving his idea

"I see how this can work, since many academy students have various financial support. They can contribute and at the same time support the school. All of this has to be done with consent but this is a solid plan." Ozpin said agreeing with Qrow

"Now the question is, who do we get to participate? We need to give some kind of incentive like for example extra credit for social work." Ozpin said before everyone looked at Glynda

"Well I suppose extra points towards their grades is a good motivator for the students. With an added bonus of an automatic pass on an exam for the highest bidder. We will also have the family of the participants attend the audience for support." Glynda said with everyone agreeing further

"Then it's decided, let's proceed with the date auction." Ozpin told everyone

(Beacon Amphitheater)

In the span of a few days, word of the date auction had quickly spread to many of the students. Many of the students were excited at the idea of having a chance to go out on a date with the students. Though the identity of the participants are a secret. The excitement at the surprise is still very noticeable.

"Welcome to the Beacon Fundraiser Action. Where all proceeds will go towards various good causes that will contribute to the fight against good and evil." Professor Port said

"That's right, we are looking forward to a wonderful auction, now let's proceed with our first participant." Dr. Oobleck said before the lights went out ot introduce the first participant for the auction

"Our first participant is a literal knockout on the field. Like her infinite number of puns." Professor Port announced before one of the students spoke up

"Because her puns are so bad, they'll put you to sleep." One of the students said causing the group to laugh

"I present to you, Yang Xiao-Long." Professor Port announced before Yang jumped on the stage

"People start the day with a bang. But I prefer to start the day with a Yang!" Yang excitedly said oblivious to the awkward silence before Dr. Oobleck spoke up

"Yang has exhibited many quality traits of a Huntress. A kind and compassionate woman with the heart of an adventurer. I can assure you that any date with her will be full of thrills and excitement." Professor Port said as Yang flexed her muscles

"I can attest to that, just look at what she did to my club!" Junior Xiong yelled causing the audience to laugh at the statement and cause Yang some minor embarrassment

"How did some of the adults get here Ozpin?" Salem asked Ozpin

"We made it clear that family and friends of the participants are invited. Since he's associated with Yang, he can attend but can't bid on her." Ozpin answered before the bidding started. A few minutes later, a random student made a successful bid of 300 Lien.

"Next for the participant, is a young women with elegance and class. Who hails from Atlas and has a bright future ahead of her Weiss Schnee." Professor Port announced before Weiss entered with her glyphs

"The Ice Queen, you'll be better off in a volcano before you feel any warmth from her." One of the students yelled out causing everyone to laugh

Hey!" Weiss said in a flabbergasted tone before Ragna came into view

"If you think that's bad, then remember this. She's a Schnee so she's not cheap!" Ragna yelled out causing everyone to laugh at the statement which embarrassed and angered Weiss further

"I AM NOT A GOLDDIGGER!" Weiss angrily yelled

"Your right, that's your father! Your wallet is just like you, uptight, cold, and distant. So whoever has a date with you, will pay for the whole thing!" Ragna yelled further causing the audience to laugh further and Jacques Schnee who is in the family seat to have a look of visible rage on his face.

"I will see to it personally that the thug will never work in Atlas." Jacques angrily muttered

"Look at it like this dear, his words are much nicer than the weekly protesters." Willow said before she took another drink

"I bid 50 Lien!" Jaune excitedly said causing Ren to give him a confused look

"Are you sure you want to do this Jaune?" Ren asked in a concerned tone

"Yes, because this way, she will have no choice but to go out with me. Even if it's for one date." Jaune happily said before the bidding closed.

"I am worth more than 50 Lien." Weiss said to the Professors

"True, but this will make sure that we don't hear any more snark about your value." Professor Port answered

"Told you all she wasn't cheap. In my opinion, Jaune is still getting ripped off. Though if she keeps quiet, it might be a bargain." Ragna said causing the audience to laugh further as Weiss walked off the stage before glaring at Ragna

"You . . . . will . . . . pay . . . . . for this." Weiss angrily told Ragna before she left the stage

"Next up is a young man with a strong passion for the people. He's a team leader who hails from Ronin-Gai and attends Atlas Academy, Kagura Mutsuki." Dr. Oobleck said introducing Kagura. As Kagura walked to the stage, he was greeted by the cheers of many of the female students.

"Thank you for your thunderous cheers, I appreciate the welcome. But please remember that I am a simple man with humble beliefs. As for my features, I am very friendly and hardworking. Just look at my abs and muscles." Kagura said as he removed his shirt and showed off his body which amazed many women.

"Be careful, he'll grope you when your back is turned!" Makoto yelled out causing the males to laugh at Kagura

"I know I've made mistakes, but I'm only a simple man. If I haven't earned your forgiveness. Then at the very least, give me your ire, so I can be the better man I'm supposed to be." Kagura said in a pleading tone causing many of the female students to swoon over him

"I know I'm supposed dislike him. But I can't help but to feel sympathy for him." One of the female students said

"I agree, there is something truly endearing about him that I can't resist. Maybe a good woman can change him for the better. I will make the bid for 600 Lien." One of the female students said

"I make the bid for 800 Lien." Another female student said before a group of them bundled together and whispered before another bid gets made

"We have decided to make a group bid for 1500 Lien." One of the female students said which surprised the audience

"Can a group bid be made?" Professor Port asked

"As long as all parties of the group consent to the bid then yes it's acceptable. The terms of the date will have to be discussed among the bidders and the participants. However, this falls within acceptable parameters." Dr. Oobleck said with the bid being accepted

"BOOOOOOOOOO, HE'S TAKING OUR GIRLFRIENDS AND CRUSHES!" The many male students in the audience yelled in anger

"Next up, we have a young man who represents the balance of calm composure of manliness with the confidence of manliness. I present to you all Neptune Vasilias." Professor Port announced before Neptune flipped on the stage with a guitar in hand

"Now allow for me to sing for you all a brief serenade for the lovely lady in the crowd. But wait, all of you are lovely." Neptune said causing the female students to giggle before he started to sing and play the guitar

"The stars have fallen from the great vast sky

But I see them within you all and that's no lie

You all give me the spark that gives my day its light

Which allows me to fight the Grimm with all my might

I'm happy to see you all with a wonderful smile

It makes every moment worth it's while.

The happiness I'm feeling for you all is no mere ploy

What I'm filled with is nothing short of pure joy." Neptune finished singing and playing the guitar before many of the females started to clap wildly before a small group of the female students spoke up

"We will make a group bid for 1500 Lien for Neptune Vasilias." A group of female students said

"Sold for 1500 Lien, well done Neptune." Professor Port said before he walked off the stage. Before Neptune went too far, he came across Kagura

"Thanks for the guitar and lessons." Neptune told Kagura

"No problem, thanks for covering for me during that hot spring incident. You did good out there." Kagura said before him and Neptune did a fist bump.

"Next up we have a meek but charming young lady, Noel Vermillion." Dr. Oobleck announced before Noel went on stage in a new outfit. After she did so, several of the male students yelled up

"Is that Noel, I think Jaune is dressed up in a dress again." One of the male students said

"I agree, I think Jaune changed his name to really make it work." Another one of the students muttered

"I agree, Jaune is really making that dress work for him. He even looks better than the real Noel." Another student said before one of the students yelled out

"You look good Jaune, you know how to work that outfit!" One of the students yelled out

"I'm not . . . ." Noel said before another one of the students yelled out

"Way to represent the crossdressers Jaune, I'm bidding 300 Lien." Another Student said

"Your pulling off that look Jaune, make your sisters proud!" Saphron yelled in support of her brother

"I'm not . . . . ." Noel yelled out only for her corrections to be deafened by the cheers

"You look incredible Jaune, I'm bidding 500 Lien." Another student announced which increased the bid

"You look so cool and incredible, I'm bidding 1000 Lien." Bridget happily bid before Noel tried to speak further

"For the last time I am not a . . . ." Noel tried yell before Amane stepped to the stage with her. Initially, Noel hoped that Amane would make it clear that she's a female and not Jaune. Unfortunately, when she saw Amane's mischievous smirk, her hopes died like the many people who coincidently eat her cooking.

"Can't all of you see how flustered our dear participant. Which is why I've decided to make this a joint participant. Though this will require an extra bid of at least 500 Lien. You will receive an extra companion of yours truly." Amane said while giving a wink before Bridget got excited further

"Now that's what I call a bundle. I want to increase my bid to 2500 Lien." Bridget announced much to the cheers of many

"Sold!" Professor Port announced much to Yang and Weiss's anger

"You've got to be kidding, the both of together can't even make 500 Lien. Yet Noel and Amane break over 2000 Lien!" Yang said fueled by her competitive spirit

"All of them are mistaking Noel for Jaune crossdressing. They wouldn't like her so much if they eat her cooking. As for Amane, well he is wise and charming so I can't say anything about him." Weiss briefly explained

"Are you saying that because you two share your make-up with each other?" Ruby asked causing Weiss to have an embarrassed look

"You can't prove that." Weiss said in a defending tone before Blake went on stage

"Now presenting a student who is shrouded in mystery and maintains her composure. Blake Belladonna." Dr. Oobleck announced before Blake went on the stage. Once she was on stage, she tossed a few apples in the air and proceeded to quickly slash at them and once she was done, she brought out a plate and effortlessly caught all the apple slices on the plate and grabbed the last one and proceeded to eat it. The feat greatly impressed the audience which is evident by the loud cheer.

"I bid 1200 Lien!" Sun announced before another bid came up

"I bid 1300 Lien!" Another student bid

"I bid 1500 Lien!" Sun confidently said which quickly ended the bid

"Sun Wukong has won with the bid of 1500 Lien." Dr. Oobleck announced causing the audience to cheer

"Hey Ren and Jaune, can you loan me some Lien? I promise I will pay you both back." Sun whispered asking the two

"We'll get you the money, but you're going to have to do something for us. It involves eating Noel's cooking. If you do it, you won't have to pay us back." Ren said causing Jaune to have a worried look on his face

"A bid gets covered for someone who's worth it and all I have to do is eat some food. I think this might be my lucky day." Sun happily said

"You have no idea of what you've agreed to." Ren muttered in a low tone

"Oh come on!" Yang said making her competitive spirit becoming more apparent.

"What can I say, people love people with an air of coolness and mystery." Mercury said in a confident tone

"Next is an individual who is shrouded in an aloof nature and is burning with cool confidence, Mercury Black!" Dr. Oobleck announced as Mercury walked on the stage. A brief second later, Mercury proceeded to breakdance as he was firing his blasts from his boots. Mercury breakdanced for several minutes before he came to a sudden stop. A brief second later after Mercury stopped, and effortlessly destroyed the blasts he made with a single kick and struck a pose. A brief second later, many of the female students started the bids

"I bid 1200 Lien." One of the female students bid

"My bid is 1400 Lien." The other female student said before the bidding stopped

"The bid for 1400 Lien has been accepted and finalized, incredible Mercury." Professor Port announced as Mercury walked off the stage

"Last but not certainly least Ragna." Professor Port announced as Ragna walked on the stage with a disinterested tone

"I'm only here for the extra credit. So don't expect me to sweep any of you of your feet." Ragna bluntly said causing some of the students to mutter

"I see a lot of angst, there is something really charming about him." One of the female students said. Though before she could make a bid, a young voice spoke up

"50,000 LIEN!" A young female voice yelled out which surprised everyone. When Ragna heard the voice, he felt a strong chill down his spine and when he saw the source, his face became frozen in fear.

"NU!" Ragna yelled at the sight of Nu

"I have a chance to spend time with my Ragna. Without me having to stay hidden and look through the window this time." Nu happily said causing Ragna to have an added look of fear

"Hold on, what do you mean look through the window?" Ragna said before Nu spoke further

"That doesn't matter, my bid is 50,000 Lien." Nu happily said before Ragna had a terrified look on his face at being obligated to spend time with Nu causing him to think of a possible escape

"Nu, there is no way you have that kind of cash! You have to make good on your payments or you will get jack squat!" Ragna said causing Winter to approach Nu. Ragna had a look of confidence that everything was going to go his way. Yet his hopes were dashed when Winter give him a glint of an evil eye.

"Nu, you can bid as much as you want. I will personally cover all of the expenses." Winter said causing Ragna to have a horrified look on his face much to Nu and Weiss's satisfaction

"WINTER, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE! DO YOU HONESTLY HATE ME THAT MUCH!?" Ragna yelled causing Winter to give him a nod that means "what do you think"

"Yay, Ragna will be mine!" Nu said as she jumped up in the air

"Do you consent to the bid Winter?" Professor Port asked

"Of course, in fact make it 75,000 Lien." Winter said quickly ending the bidding

"The bid has been accepted for 75,000 Lien." Dr. Oobleck happily announced causing Nu to run up and hug Ragna tightly

"Can't . . . . breath." Ragna struggled to say

"Yay, he's mine!" Nu happily said at having her prize

"Should we help him?" Neptune asked in a concerned tone

"He'll be fine, he deserves it." Weiss said in a mischievous tone with a noticeable smirk.

"I'm fully confident that this will settle our affairs with the Income Remnant Services. The guidelines has been fulfilled and after this it will be business as usual." Ozpin told Salem

"I agree, though all this time we haven't had any trouble with the Tax Enforcers. What happened for all of that to change?" Salem asked in a curious tone

"The only thing I can think of is that they either caught up to the paperwork or someone ratted us out." Ozpin said voicing his thoughts

"Who would be bold or crazy enough to rat us out to the Income Remnant Services

(Income Remnant Services Office)

"Thank you for providing us with the information on these individuals. As per the agreement to the program. The next time you file taxes, you will receive a community service credit which will enhance your refund. Now just to confirm your information. Your name is Roman Torchwick?" The Receptionist asked

"Of course my dear, thought the credit is appreciated, I wish to do my duty to make sure these people pay their dues." Roman said with Neo pulling up a sigh that says, "What a good person"

"Thank you for your actions, I will be back, I need to print these pages out so you can have your copy." The receptionist said before she left. A brief second, Hazama and Izanami appeared

"Excellent work, I didn't think you had it in you to rat out Salem. But you proved me wrong, you have an evil backbone after all. Though I didn't expect you to be able to bring down Ozpin as well." Hazama said in an impressed tone

"I had to prove that they could take me seriously. Besides, it knocked Emerald and Mercury down a few pegs since they made fun of me for paying taxes. So I had to show them who's the real professional. Before I forget, I have a present for you and it should be coming real soon." Roman said before the receptionist came back

"Here are the printouts, that should settle everything. Oh your Hazama, Captain of the Intelligence Department. This saves us some time." The Receptionist said before she gave Hazama a sheet of paper.

"I owe on taxes because I didn't declare all of my income sources!" Hazama said before he looked at Roman and Neo

"Welp me and Neo have gotta go." Roman said before him and Neo left

"Roman Torchwick ratted me out to the Income Remnant Services. He dealt me a blow just to establish his capabilities and showed he's not to be messed with in the form of minor betrayal. I'm . . . . I'm . . . . . I'm so proud of him. He's taking all of my lessons and is being better. I will happily pay right now." Hazama said as he paid his tax dues

"Thank you for your payment." The receptionist happily said

"Why don't you have to pay any taxes?" Hazama asked Izanami

"Death and Taxes are two things that's certain in the world. Since I am a being of death, I do not have to pay taxes." Izanami briefly explained to Hazama

"I see, good to know." Hazama said before the two left

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(A/N)

Since Valentine's Day occur during Tax Season I wanted to see if I can have the gag chapter have a combined theme of both. Since Even the Joker knows the importance of paying taxes, I figured Salem and Ozpin will know to pay taxes as well.

The next chapter will be a return to the main story and I will be in a better position to answer question in the next chapter. I am aware of the questions I've received so far such as the power balancing and Arrowfall and in the next main chapter I will answer them and more. The reason I'm not answering them in the gag chapters is because questions like them involve the main story and I want to answer questions regarding them in the chapters of the main story. I am also willing to answer additional questions.

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