For as long as he could remember, Hank had been an early riser. Even as a teenager, he couldn't recall a time where his mother had to drag him kicking and screaming from beneath the comforter and hurry him off to school. By the time Justin was born, he was well-practised in functioning on little to no sleep, sometimes for weeks on end depending on his caseload but, for the last few weeks, his body appeared to have relaxed into a rhythm of rising well after the sun.
Yet this morning he found himself staring blankly at the dark ceiling while his wife slept soundly beside him, her back rising and falling softly with each slow, steady breath. Today should have been the day that they strolled into Fischer's office hand in hand and their badges back with a beaming smile before riding off into the sunset but, instead, Hank had served out his suspension, Kate's furlough had come to an end and they were both due back on active duty at eight am sharp.
He had spent the best part of the last two months diligently preparing himself for the moment when 'Sergeant' Voight ceased to exist that the thought of clipping his badge into place felt strangely foreign.
Kate shifted beside him, her body naturally gravitating towards his even in slumber and, as she nestled her face against his shoulder, long, dark lashes sitting atop impossibly smooth cheeks, her palm slid up the inside of his forearm to clutch his bicep tight against her chest. He took a moment to watch her sleep, the tension that had been slowly filling his body dissipating almost immediately when her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at him with an adorably sleepy smile.
"Mornin'." She hummed quietly, releasing her grip on his arm only to wriggle beneath it and bury her face against the crook of his neck, pressing a soft kiss to the warm flesh of his throat as she draped an arm across his torso.
They lay cuddled together in the serene quiet, watching the early morning sun begin to filter through the gaps in the blinds until Alexis began to stir, the familiar sound of her one-sided chatter signalling their day would be starting imminently.
"You think we've got enough time for a mom and dad shower before she's demanding breakfast?" Hank whispered, gliding the very tips of his fingers teasingly up and down the length of Kate's spine.
"Doubt it." Kate retorted with an amused snort, sliding a thigh between his parted legs. "She eats like her Uncle Adam."
Sure enough, inside of five minutes Kate was reluctantly leaving the warmth of their bed and padding towards Alexis' room while Hank took a quick shower and, when he surfaced fifteen minutes later, Alexis was busy shovelling handfuls of porridge into her mouth and there was a steaming mug of coffee waiting for him on the kitchen counter.
But it wasn't until they pulled into the familiar car park of Alexis' nursery did the reality of their last-minute change in plans truly sink in.
"I can't do it." Kate mumbled, eyes trained unblinkingly on the semi-opaque glass of the nursery. "I can't leave her."
Hank swallowed thickly as he cast a glance at his unusually-pale wife who was gripping the door handle in a white-knuckle hold. In the few days they had been on their honeymoon, Alexis hadn't left Erin's sight and this would be the first time since she was kidnapped that she wouldn't be in the care of someone trained to use a firearm. If some maniac with a grudge decided they wanted some payback, there was no way in hell Alexis' five foot-two, ninety pound caregiver was going to stop them.
'She wasn't safe here.'
The anxious knot continued to tighten in the centre of Kate's chest, her eyes throat burning with barely restrained tears as she listened to Alexis babble in the back seat.
"We're gonna have to leave her again at some point." Hank said gently, turning in his seat to grip her free hand in his, sliding his fingers between her own. "What're the chances of anything like that hap-"
Kate's eyes snapped to his. "Don't you dare Hank Voight." She said sharply, her fingers squeezing his almost painfully but he quickly lifted a palm in defeat, agreeing that temping fate probably wasn't the best idea.
"Tell you what." He said softly. "Let's take her inside, head to the district and see how you feel in a few hours. Maybe give them a call at lunchtime and check in on her. If you still feel the same, we'll come get her and, I dunno, maybe start with half-day sessions until you feel more comfortable."
A flash of relief passed over Kate's face at his suggestion, the faint worry lines on her forehead lessening ever so slightly.
"What about Fischer? We're both out of furlough time."
"Fuck Fischer." He replied with a shrug, the handsome grin that Kate adored so much sliding onto his face. "Worst case, we'll have a seventh member of Intelligence for a while."
Releasing her death-grip on this hand, Kate took a few calming breaths before leaning across to the console to rest her forehead against Hank's shoulder, taking a few moments to steady herself before pulling back far enough to push a kiss to his soft lips and whisper a quiet 'thank you'.
When they arrived at the district, the unit was already waiting for them along with Trudy, all of them with matching stony expressions far too serious for a Monday morning.
"What's goin' on?" Hank asked, carefully searching each of their faces as he came to a slow stop where the team were semi-circled around Jay's desk.
"Goodwin just called. They just had a patient admitted with a suspected cocaine overdose." Jay folded is arms across his broad chest, his eyes hard yet the hint of sadness swimming in the crystal blue was unmistakable.
"Alright…but why the long faces? Not like we haven't caught an OD case before." Hank responded, mirroring Jay's stance while he waited for someone to clue him in on what had them all so shaken.
"The patient's a ten week old baby girl."
The bullpen fell silent, Erin's words instantly sucking all of the oxygen out of the room. Kate could vividly recall Alexis when she was ten weeks old, all wide russet eyes and chubby legs, and wondered how on earth anyone could allow an infant to ingest such a lethal narcotic. It wasn't as if they were toddling around with curious minds and grabby hands at that age and it seemed as though her husband was already thinking along the same lines.
"How the hell'd a baby OD on coke?" Hank balked, his eyes rapidly darting from face to face.
"Doctor said the product was prob'ly mixed in with the baby formula." Kevin supplied, his mouth pulled in to a tight line.
Kate groaned out loud, reaching out to brace her hands against the nearest desk with a sigh. This was every parents very worst nightmare. Even if you read all the books, took all the classes and listened to all the advice, there still was never a guarantee that your baby would be safe. The sudden urge to hightail it back to the daycare centre and clutch her own baby to her chest was almost overwhelming but, with Herculean effort, she forced herself out of her own head and back into the room where Kevin was relaying the doctor's conversation with the baby's mom.
"Apparently she was pretty cagey around the details of where she got the formula from but turns out she borrowed it from her sister in law who's also got a six month old son."
"Jesus Christ." Hank mumbled, jamming his thumb and forefinger into his eye sockets just as he always did when he was desperately trying to fend off an oncoming headache.
"We know how many other tubs of this stuff could be contaminated?" This time it was Kim who stepped forwards, her hands already full with files and a stack of papers that had been emailed over from the hospital.
"We don't but baby formula is regulated by the FDA and each tub has a lot number, should tell us where it was made and purchased."
It wasn't much but at least it was something to chase. Hank swiftly distributed orders, sending Jay and Hailey down to med to take a formal statement from the mother. While it was unlikely she was knowingly feeding her infant milk laced with narcotics, they needed to figure out how the hell it ended up in her sister-in-law's pantry in the first place.
"Kim, Adam, I wanna know where they bought the formula from so we can get it off the damn shelves. You three…" He pointed at Kate, Erin and Kevin in turn. "…get out there and start hitting up your CIs. If we got somebody using baby formula to move drugs in my city, they're gonna answer to me."
And just like that, her relaxed, easy-going husband had been replaced by the tough, demanding Sergeant she had fallen in love with and Kate was suddenly filled with an odd sense of nostalgia. This had been their life before the bombings, the bullets and the babies. While Kate had no doubt that he loved being a husband and a father, watching him take command of his unit like this made her realise how much of a sacrifice he was making by leaving it all behind.
'How could I even begin to ask him to?'
Retirement had been his suggestion but Kate had a feeling that, if she hadn't been questioning her own future, the thought of hanging up his badge probably wouldn't have even crossed his mind. He had told her once that he still felt like he had so much left to do before the Ivory Tower finally took him off the streets and she couldn't help but wonder if he still felt the same.
"Yo, you comin'?"
Kate was pulled from her thoughts by Kevin's warm tone, her eyes flicking across the room to where both he and Erin were already shrugging into their coats, clearly making moves towards the garage to get to work.
"Yeah, just…give me a sec." She replied, plucking her jacket from the back of her chair before quietly slipping into Hank's office. He was already seated at his desk, eyes scanning the enormous stack of papers in his in-tray with a hint of reluctance but his eyebrows rose high onto his forehead when she strode across the threshold, tossed her jacket onto his desk and cupped his face in both hands, leaning in to plant a firm kiss on his lips.
"What was that for?" He asked when she finally pulled away, his eyes searching her face curiously as she brushed the pads of her thumbs across his damp lips, swiping away the evidence of her momentary lapse in professionalism.
"It's Monday." She replied simply with a casual hike of her shoulder.
"So?"
"I don't like Monday's…and kissing you cheers me up."
The corner of Hank's mouth twitched into a wry grin when she gave him a cheeky wink and, with a whispered 'I love you', turned on her heel and disappeared from view. With his flesh still tingling where her lips had touched his, his eyes flicked down to the small collection of picture frames he had displayed on his desk.
The first was of him and Justin, taken on the front steps of the 21st the day that Daniel was born. He had been given special leave from the Army to make sure he was home to see his firstborn enter the world and, rather than give his father a call to tell him the good news, he had stopped by the district in person to let him know that his grandson had arrived safe and sound. Hank could remember it as though it were yesterday, Justin buzzing with excitement as he intercepted him en route to a crime scene, the entire unit pausing briefly as Justin grasped Hank by the shoulders, face alight with unbridled joy.
'He's here, Pop!'
Hank pulled him in for a quick embrace, whispering a quiet congratulations before Justin whipped out his cell phone to show him a handful of pictures of the surprisingly chubby newborn.
'Your mom would'a been so proud of you.' Hank had mumbled, eyes swimming with emotion as he cupped Justin's stubbled cheek, the two of them acknowledging the sharp pang of sadness amidst the jubilation. Erin had snapped a quick picture and it had been a staple on Hank's desk ever since.
The four by six frame alongside it containing a picture of him with Alvin was a different story. He couldn't even recall when it had been taken but, given they were both wearing their vests, he could only assume they had been out in the city somewhere working a case. The picture had appeared on his desk a few months after Alvin's funeral and it wasn't until he noticed the very same picture on Trudy's desk downstairs did he realise that it was likely the Desk Sergeant herself who had slipped the sentimental keepsake into his office.
The final frame was the most recent addition to his collection, a candid picture taken on the makeshift dance floor a few hours after they'd said 'I do'. The fairy lights twinkled overhead, bathing them in a warm glow as Hank cradled a giggling Alexis in his arms, his mouth pulled into a wide smile as Kate leaned in to press a gentle kiss to her rosy cheek. It had instantly been one of his favourites out of the hundreds of images the photographer had sent them and, unlike the other two photos that sat alongside it, this one emanated a happiness that wasn't tinged with grief and sadness.
He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of knuckles rapping sharply on the door to his office, his eyes drifting away from the pictures to the threshold where his stony-faced FOP rep was waiting with yet another stack of papers no doubt waiting for his signature. With a sigh, he beckoned him in and mentally steeled himself for what was likely to be an exceptionally long first day back in the office.
"Y'know, I honestly thought you'd come back from your honeymoon pregnant."
Kate took her eyes of the hulking form of her partner for a few seconds to cast a glance across the cab towards Erin who was also watching Kevin pace backwards and forwards in the entryway to a narrow alley, waiting somewhat impatiently for his CI to show.
"Wasn't through lack of trying." Kate quietly hummed in response, the corner of her mouth ticking upwards when Erin's head snapped towards her in surprise.
"You're trying?! Oh my God, that's so exciting! Since when?"
Her genuine squeal of happiness was just a testament to Erin's infinite capacity to want nothing but the best for those she loved given everything she had been through just months prior.
"I think Hank decided the minute after Alexis was born but we didn't decide to start trying until after the Pulpo thing."
She had to admit that she had never been more disappointed when the tender breasts and uncomfortable cramping turned out to be nothing more than the start of her monthly visit from Mother Nature. In typical Hank Voight fashion, he had banded his arms around her waist, pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and wryly suggested that perhaps they should use their tried and tested technique of finding a dark alleyway to park the SUV.
The entire situation was completely foreign to her. She had spent all of her adult life actively trying not to get pregnant and now she found herself scrolling through random articles on the internet trying to decide whether lying with her legs in the air after sex had any scientific merit!
It wasn't a secret that Alexis hadn't been a planned pregnancy and, as much as she knew that each conception, pregnancy and baby would be different, she couldn't help but hope that getting pregnant a second time would be just as easy as the first.
"Y'know, it's funny how your priorities change. I'd always considered myself a career woman until I fell pregnant with Alexis. Now all I want is my husband, a little league of his mini-me's and a quiet life in the suburbs."
"Christ, I don't think the world could cope with twelve miniature Hank Voights." She snorted, mouth tugging in to a somewhat wistful smile before her face became serious "You really think you're ready to call it a day?"
Kate drummed her fingers along the top of the steering wheel, turning her attention back to Kevin who was now engaged in a heated discussion with his CI, both of them jerking hands in random directions before Kevin dropped his head back in a clear sign of exasperation.
"You ever worry you're living on borrowed time?" Kate murmured quietly, her eyes flicking towards Erin for a beat; hazel meeting hazel. "How many more close calls am I gonna have before my luck runs out?"
Working for any part of a police department was always going to be a dangerous job but being a part of a department like Intelligence put you at the coal face in a way that Kate had never quite understood until the bullets started flying and, as she'd already experienced the hard way, sometimes nerves of steel and a kevlar vest simply wasn't enough to protect you.
And for a long time it was a risk she was willing to take…then she became a wife and a mother.
"Nobody would blame you for putting your family first, Kate."
It wasn't that she was worried what others would think. Ultimately the decision was hers and hers alone. The problem was that she loved her job. She loved being able to fall into bed at night knowing that she had at least contributed to the world being a slightly less barbaric place than it was when she opened her eyes that morning. Knowing she was doing some good meant a lot to her.
'I'll always be proud of you Katie-Bug, whatever you decide to do.'
Kate glanced across the table, two sets of identical hazel eyes locking as she plucked a fry from the red plastic basket set between them, a single eyebrow lifting in challenge.
'Oh yeah? Even if I decided to work the pole at Scuttlebutt?'
Philip Meadows' face broke into a wide grin, his eyes drifting from hers as he too pinched a greasy fry between his thumb and forefinger, dipping it into the little paper cup of ketchup with an exasperated shake of his head. Friday evening burgers at Charlie's Kitchen had become a weekly occurrence for them ever since Kate enrolled at Harvard the September before. Her dad would finish up his last class at three o'clock on the dot and make the hundred and forty mile drive to Cambridge just so they could catch up over a shared basket of triple-cooked fries, a juicy burger and a milkshake. She'd tried to bargain with him and arrange to meet somewhere a bit closer to the Connecticut/ Massachusetts border but, as expected, it had fallen on deaf ears.
She was barely a year into her pre-law degree and already some of the top law schools in the country were beginning to circle, sending brochures of their beautiful, state of the art campus or metrics of how many of their graduates had secured places at some of the most prestigious firms in the country.
Yale, Stanford, Colombia, NYU. They'd all reached out to say how much they'd love to help a student of her calibre on her journey to greatness but, not only did Kate have absolutely no idea where she study, she wasn't even sure she wanted to continue reading law at all. As with all major life decisions she'd made so far, her dad was the first person she'd called to use as a sounding board.
At her sarcastic comment of abandoning her promising legal career all together and becoming a stripper at one of the city's least reputable gentleman's establishments, Philip simply popped the fry into his mouth and levelled his daughter with a look of amusement.
'Even then.' He confirmed with a wry smile. 'Know why?'
''Cause you're my dad and you have to be?' Kate answered with a matching grin, wiping her fingers on a nearby napkin
'Because you've got a good heart, Katie. And they're surprisingly difficult to find these days.'
Kate's eyes softened at his earnestness, reaching across the table to grasp his hand in her own, taking comfort from the firm squeeze he gave her fingers.
'Just be true to yourself, never lose touch with who you are in here.' He tapped his chest with an index finger, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards into a reassuring smile 'None of us are getting out of this alive, Katie-Bug. Might as well spend it doing what you love.'
That conversation had taken place almost a year before he died and yet the memory was so clear it could easily have been yesterday. Even after all this time, the raw ache in her chest was still very much present.
"I know." She sighed. "It's just…rock and a hard place."
Erin nodded in understanding, briefly patting Kate's thigh as Kevin jogged back across the street towards them. According to his CI, the word on the street was that there was a new supplier in town who was cutting cartel-quality coke with baby formula before pushing it out through his well-established distribution network but, unfortunately, he hadn't been able to give them a name. By the time the three of them arrived back at the district, the unit were already assembled around the whiteboard processing the new information they'd managed to unearth.
"Alright, what do we know?" Hank asked, perching on the edge of Jay's desk, arms folding across his chest.
"Baby is Presley Birch, ten weeks old. Mom is Riley Birch, seventeen. Dad isn't in the picture so big brother and his wife stepped up to help her out." Adam said, finger tapping against each of the photographs on the whiteboard in turn.
Hank nodded, swallowing uncomfortably as he forced out a question that he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. "Any sign of abuse?"
"Nope." Adam replied with a shake of his head. "All postnatal appointments were attended and both mom and baby seemed to be doing well."
Kim edged forwards, her eyes on the manilla case file in her hands. "The sister in law confirmed where her husband bought the formula, it was a corner store in Pilsen. The lab tested every other tub they had and they all came back clean. But here's the kicker…" She tacked a sheet of paper to the board containing five lines of chemical equations. "…the sister in law had five more tubs in her kitchen and three out of the five had the same chemistry as the laced formula."
Kate whistled through her teeth wondering how on earth tragedy hadn't struck long before now given that Riley Birch's brother had a six month old baby of his own. But clearly they weren't being completely honest if they were the sole proprietors of cocaine-laced baby formula.
They had confirmed with the manufacturers that all of the 'normal' tubs seized at the corner store in Pilsen had been quality checked at a plant in Michigan whereas the four contaminated tubs had come via Mexico. With the tox report from Med confirming that the drugs were at least 95% pure, there was no doubt that they had, once again, stumbled onto a cartel ring.
"Confirms what Kev's CI told him about the new supplier." Kate said with a shrug, her mind already working overtime to try and figure out how the lethal formula ended up in the pantry of a young family who didn't appear to have any ties to drugs, cartels or, in fact, anything illegal at all.
"What about the brother? He have a record?" She asked, jerking an index finger in the direction of the picture of the sandy-haired man in the top right of the whiteboard.
"Clean as a whistle." Jay confirmed with a shake of his head.
"Yeah, well, when kids are involved, we check and recheck every avenue. Go scoop him up, see what he knows."
Jay and Hailey were already halfway towards the steps following Hank's order but they were stopped in their tracks by Kim who's face had suddenly drained of all colour, her cell phone still clutched in one hand.
"Sarg, that was Med. Presley died twenty minutes ago."
An uncomfortable silence fell over the Intelligence Unit, each of them swallowing thickly at the devastating news and Kate instantly found herself searching for her husband's eyes across the room. A baby, younger than their baby, had lost her life to drugs. And as much as it pained her, Kate couldn't help but put herself in the shoes of Riley Birch, the young mother who had inadvertently poisoned her own child.
The crushing guilt was just unimaginable.
"We're lookin' at drug-induced homicide." Hank said gruffly. "I want the mom, the brother and the sister-in-law in my custody, I don't care-"
"I'm afraid that won't be possible Sergeant."
Eight heads turned in the direction of the staircase where a tall, broad man with a pointy, rat-like face stood alongside Trudy who wasn't making much of an attempt to mask her displeasure at the unwelcome visitor's presence.
"Who the hell are you?" Hank growled, his voice laced with distain as he looked the man up and down.
Kate's eyes darted between Hank and the stranger, her stomach clenching uncomfortably when she noticed the latter's steely blue gaze was trained on Hank's face.
"Brian Kelton, new Deputy Superintendent."
'Wait, what?'
Apparently Kate's shock was mirrored on the faces of the rest of her unit as Kelton's thin lips tugged into a smug smile.
"I can see that's a surprise. Commander Fischer has decided that his future lie elsewhere and Deputy Superintendent Miller is now Chief Miller…she appointed me as her successor."
Making a mental note to have a frank conversation with her friend at the earliest convenience, Kate watched in stunned silence as Kelton beckoned Hank into his own office, waiting patiently in front of the heavy oak as Hank drew in a deep, steadying breath and followed suit.
"What can I do for you Deputy?"
Now that he had a name and a face, Hank could vaguely recall seeing Kelton's picture on a myriad of political campaign posters tied with the last election. He could only assume that, while Kelton hadn't quite secured the Mayoral votes he'd been looking for, evidently he had enough sway at the Ivory Tower to secure himself a new post within the CPD.
"I understand you've recently had a suspension lifted Sergeant Voight. You, uh, used excessive force with a suspect, is that correct?"
The irritating, smug smirk was back and it took all of Hank's self-restraint not to toss the asshole out on his ear. It was just his luck that they'd swap out Fischer for yet another self-serving, emotionally stunted bigot.
"I think you already know the answer to that." Hank said tersely, lowering his weight onto the sideboard behind his desk, arms instantly crossing over his chest. "So why don't you just tell me what you want?"
Kelton studied him for a few long moments, the uncomfortable silence stretching on until he eventually spoke.
"You will not be bringing in Caleb Birch because he is the focus of a Narcotics and Internal Affairs case regarding a baby formula drug ring."
"And you didn't think to share that this morning when a ten week old baby ended up in the hospital?" Hank seethed, his brow pinching in disbelief at the gall of this man to stroll into his district and demand blind obedience.
"It was confidential information on a need to know basis."
"That's bullshit and you know it." Hank scoffed, pushing away from the sideboard and rounding his desk until he was face to face with Kelton. "I don't care who the fuck you think you are but if you think you're gonna walk in here and trample all over my case then-"
"Stay away from it, Hank." Kelton interrupted, simultaneously lifting a palm. "This is your last warning. Hand it over to Narcotics or-"
"Or what?"
The two men stood chest to chest, one significantly taller than the other but the height disadvantage didn't deter Hank one bit. He'd gone toe to toe with men much bigger and more dangerous than Kelton and, if he was honest, he fancied his chances if it came to blows. But he knew better than anyone that this wasn't a fight that could be won with a stiff right hook. This was a political battle that required careful consideration if he had any hope of coming out on top.
"I'm not going to comment on Chief Miller's seemingly endless capacity for turning a blind eye to your behaviour…you wife's behaviour."
Hank immediately bristled at the mention of Kate, the muscle in his jaw twitching rapidly as he fought to keep his flaring temper under control.
"But I, for one, will be watching this unit closer than ever. And I won't be so inclined to look the other way."
As Hank watched Kelton's retreating back strut through the bullpen, it suddenly became clear that he had not come here looking for an ally, nor had he come baring useful information pertaining to their case. Just like any good politician, he had come to set out his agenda and Hank had received his message loud and clear.