"You got promoted and you didn't tell me?!"
The new Chief of Police didn't even lift her eyes from the stack of papers she was reviewing with a laser focus when the door opened with a clatter and Kate marched in to the ridiculously spacious office, pausing briefly to scan the beautiful surroundings with an appreciative whistle.
"Hello to you too." Sam muttered sarcastically, pen slashing across the rich card stock with a flourish before she slipped her glasses from her face, lifting her bright green eyes to watch her friend cross the room.
"Look at you, still got that honeymoon glow." Reclining slightly in her chair, Sam cast an appreciative gaze over Kate's form, pointedly ignoring her accusatory glare.
"Don't change the subject. And apparently I have to have an appointment to see you now?" Kate scoffed, dropping down into the leather club chair opposite Sam's desk, pointedly ignoring the smirk that tugged at her friend's lips. "Your assistant hates me, by the way."
Sam snorted in amusement, tossing the pen down onto her desk with a wry grin.
"Might have something to do with your blatant lack of authority, barging in here unannounced." She said, waving a palm in Kate's general direction where the detective had made herself comfortable in amongst the high-quality, clearly very expensive, cushions.
"Well, that's what happens when you don't return my calls…and stop changing the damn subject!"
"You were on your honeymoon Katherine!" Sam said, the exasperation clear in her tone. "I wasn't about to drag you away from your horny husband to tell you about my promotion. How is he anyway?"
Kate rolled her eyes at her friend's disturbingly assessment of her husband's sexual prowess but, despite her irritation, she couldn't deny that if the roles were reversed she wouldn't have disturbed Sam's honeymoon even if the world was toppling off its axis.
"You were at my daughter's birthday party Samantha, you could've told me then." Kate's lower lip jutted into an adorable pout but, judging by Sam's quirked eyebrow, she didn't feel the least bit guilty for letting Kate enjoy her well-deserved break uninterrupted. "And he's fine…aside from wanting to kill your replacement in the most painful way he can think of and, believe me, he's pretty creative when he wants to be."
Hank had been practically vibrating with rage when Kate eventually ventured into his office after Kelton had sauntered out of the bullpen and it wasn't like she could blame him. He had been dealt a pretty shitty hand when it came to authority figures and it already seemed like Kelton had his own agenda that didn't including having the Intelligence Unit's best interests at heart. By the time he had bathed Alexis and dropped onto the couch with a cold beer in hand, he had calmed down just enough to reluctantly agree that letting Kate speak to the new Chief to get the scoop on Kelton before he let his temper get out of control might not be the worst idea ever.
Sam released a long sigh of defeat, lifting both palms in a show of surrender before leaning back slightly in her chair.
"Things just got real busy, real fast, that's all. I wasn't purposely keeping it from you."
"And you picked Kelton? Really?" Kate deadpanned, leaning forwards to pluck a brightly coloured piece of candy from the bowl on Sam's desk, quickly popping it into her mouth before Sam could yank the ornate crystal out of her reach. "The guy's a fucking political douchebag."
"Look, I know he's not the ideal candidate but he's all we had at such short notice." Sam admitted with a hint of irritation that Kelton had already ruffled the feathers of her most unpredictable sergeant and one of her most capable detectives. "Can you at least try and play nice with this one? I enjoy interviewing just as much as I enjoy getting a bikini wax."
Kate couldn't contain her bark of laughter at the unfortunate comparison, a wry smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"Do I sense an element of pride or despair?" Kate said teasingly, dissolving into peals of laughter at Sam's very rapid response of "both".
"Well, I bought you this…even if you don't deserve it." Kate reached down and plucked a tall, thin bag from the floor, waiting patiently for Sam to reach across the desk and take the proffered gift.
Carefully pushing the coloured tissue paper aside, she eventually found the top of a very expensive bottle of Belvedere Vodka nestled inside, complete with an elaborate silver bow tied around the neck.
"Wow, the good stuff. Thank you." Sam said as she eyed the beautiful sleek bottle appreciatively. "So what's this I hear about Olinsky looking into your dad's case?"
In her peripheral vision, Sam watched Kate lift a solitary eyebrow, surprise etched onto her features.
"Who told you? Platt or my gossip of a husband?"
"Meredith came to see me to ask for your address."
As far as Kate was aware, Hank hadn't seen Meredith since Alvin's funeral so her appearance at their new home now made a little more sense.
"Is that the reason I've not got your resignation on my desk?"
Despite her best efforts, Kate's eyes widened in surprise at Sam's characteristically blunt question.
"C'mon, Kate. We've known each other a long time. I know you better than you think." Sam said gently, levelling Kate with a knowing gaze that had her shifting uncomfortably under the intense scrutiny.
Kate wasn't ashamed of her decision by any means but she was acutely aware that there were people like Sam who had spent years going to bat for her only to have what they believed to be a promising career come to an early close. Leaning forwards in her chair, Kate braced her elbows on her knees and lifted her chin to meet Sam's bright green eyes.
"I can't let Alexis grow up without a mom, Sam." She said quietly "I love my job but it's nothing compared to the love I have for my baby. And, as strong as Hank is, I don't know if he could go through all that again."
Judging by the way Sam's face softened in understanding, Kate knew she didn't need to elaborate on what "all that" meant.
Kate was lost in thought, her lips quirking into a half-smile as she paired the last of Alexis' adorable tiny socks, scooping the little pile of colourful cotton into her hands before tucking them away into their rightful place. Before Alexis came along, she had been terrible at keeping on top of her laundry, opting to wait until her underwear drawer was almost empty before reluctantly dragging her overflowing laundry bin into the kitchen to spend her rare day off marching backwards and forwards between the washer and the dryer. When they started living together, Hank had taken his fair share of the chores around the house, readily agreeing to run point on the laundry after she had accidentally shrunk one of his favourite shirts in the dryer.
With the basket empty and the laundry folded and put away, she braced her hands on the wooden railing of Alexis' crib and took a moment to watch her baby sleep, her pouty lips slightly parted as she drew slow, even breaths and her wild chocolate curls splayed across the white sheets.
Kate didn't startle when a pair of familiar arms banded around her waist and soft lips pushed a featherlight kiss to the sensitive patch of skin beneath her ear. Hank's chin came to rest gently on her shoulder, both of them silently peering down into the crib for a few long moments until Hank eventually spoke.
"You remember what you asked me to promise you after we lost Will?"
Kate remained silent for a beat, her hands leaving the smooth white pine to settle on the warm skin of his forearms, running her palms backwards and forwards absentmindedly.
"I asked you to promise me two things that day." She replied quietly, turning slowly in his arms so that they were now facing one another.
Scanning his face, Kate took in the subtle pinch between his brows and the dark circles beneath his eyes with a pang of worry. Even though Pulpo was finally gone, the shadows of his reign of terror were still very much present for the both of them. She knew he hadn't been sleeping aside from the odd few hours here and there but, in the dim light of Alexis' nursery, he looked utterly exhausted. Lifting a palm to cup his cheek, Kate softly brushed the pad of her thumb over the purple-hued skin with a sigh.
"I need you to return the favour." He said quietly, warm russet orbs already becoming misty with emotion and it soon became clear that he had been elsewhere in the house working himself into a state over whatever he was about to ask her. Resting her free hand on his chest, right over where his heart was thrumming steadily beneath her palm, she swallowed thickly and nodded for him to continue.
"I need you to promise me that you won't leave me lonely."
Kate almost burst into tears as he repeated her own request back to her, the vulnerability shining in his eyes doing nothing to alleviate the concern that had been churning in her stomach ever since they had left that godforsaken hangar at DuPage almost a week ago. Hank had been uncharacteristically subdued, desperate to keep both Kate and and Alexis as close as possible and, although his behaviour wasn't unexpected, it was so far removed from man she was used to that Kate couldn't help but cup his face between her palms and push a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"I can't…" He shook his head slightly and squeezed his eyes shut tight, the movement dislodging the tears that had begun gathering along his lower lashes, starting a slow descent down his cheeks. "I couldn't bear a world without you in it."
"Oh honey."
"Please." He begged in a whisper, his rough voice cracking slightly as he opened his eyes to lock with hers. "Please, promise me."
She had already promised to love, comfort and protect, to be faithful and to stand by his side for as long as they both were breathing. There was nothing in this world that he could ask for that she wouldn't give - and yet all he wanted was her.
Brushing the pads of her thumbs across his damp cheeks, she slipped one hand to the back of his head, her fingers carding through the short tresses in an attempt to soothe him while the other remained on his face, keeping his eyes on hers.
"Henry Voight, I promise you that I will do everything in my power to be a pain in your ass for the rest of your life. How's that?"
Relief flooded Kate's chest when he huffed out a light chuckle, lips subtly twitching at her attempt at lighthearted humour.
"It's a start." He mumbled, drawing in a deep breath before burying his face against her neck, tightening his grip on her waist as he held her close to his body.
"We're gonna be just fine." Kate whispered after a moment, rubbing gentle circles across his shoulders and taking solace in his familiar scent, strong embrace and comforting warmth.
Kate was pulled from her thoughts when Sam pushed to her feet and rounded the well-polished, expensive oak only to slowly lower herself into the vacant chair at Kate's elbow with a sigh.
"Kate, I'm the last person in the world you need to explain yourself to." Sam said quietly. "God knows the hours I've spent wondering if things would've been different if I'd have made the same choice all those years ago."
Darrell.
Sam had never really been one to talk openly about her family but, as the two women grew close over the years, the former Deputy Superintendent had slowly opened up about her home life. How she had left her ex-husband to raise her only child in favour of devoting her life to police reform in the hopes that it would make his world a safer place only for that same system to fail him when he needed it the most.
"I ever tell you how hard Hank pushed to get him home safe?" Sam's eyes flicked towards Kate, her lips curling into a melancholic smile that didn't come close to reaching her bright green eyes. "God he was like a dog with a bone, undermining me at every turn."
"Doesn't sound like him at all." Kate remarked wryly, the two women sharing a genuine moment of levity at the Intelligence Sergeant's expense.
"Hank knew he was in danger and I did nothing but force due process down his throat every step of the way." Sam dropped her chin to her chest, dark locks shielding her face from view. "He was a good kid but he'd been making some bad choices and I guess I just hoped it would…"
The raw heartache in Sam's voice had Kate swallowing thickly and instinctively reaching across the small space between them to grip her friend's fingers in a silent gesture of comfort. Although she had been hip deep in the Tate Hudson case when it happened, Kate had offered to get on the next flight to Chicago but Sam had begged her to stay on Hudson's trail instead. There wasn't anything she could do for Darrell but she could put the kingpin of a dangerous drug ring behind bars.
"You did what you thought was right." Kate murmured after a beat, knowing all too well how difficult it was to toe the line between honouring the badge and protecting the ones you love.
The Chief didn't respond immediately but she did slowly unfurl her spine, straightening up in the chair and lifting her chin to meet Kate's eyes.
"We don't get to pick and choose which laws we follow just because it's someone we love." She said evenly. "Every victim is somebody's kid."
"You really believe that?"
In her decade-long career, Kate had witnessed crimes of hate, crimes of passion and, probably most ironic of all, crimes of love. But no amount of training could ever fully turn off that carnal instinct to protect the ones we love and there was no doubt in her mind that her husband would have torn the entire city apart with his bare hands to find their daughter.
'I swear to God, Kate, I'm gonna bring her home.'
For those agonising few hours that she and Alexis were missing, the shield on Hank's hip might as well have been costume jewellery because, from the moment he realised they were missing, he was no longer a police officer. His oath to serve ceased to exist. The only promise he had any interest in honouring was the one he took on their wedding day to love and protect both his wife and child until his last breath.
"We all need something to believe in." Sam eventually said in a quiet voice and Kate suddenly realised that she really wouldn't have allowed Hank to break the rules to find Darrell, even if it meant keeping him alive. "Besides, it was nobody's fault but mine. I should've kept a closer eye on him."
The two women fell silent for a few moments, each of them lost in thought until Sam eventually spoke.
"So, what did Olinsky find?"
Kate reclined back in the chair with a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose with a thumb and forefinger.
"Christ, so many discrepancies I overlooked."
"Can't find what you don't know you're looking for." Sam said softly but in a tone that brooked no argument. "You gonna take a look?"
"Hank seems to think that if Al found something, it's probably worth looking in to. But apparently New York OCCB took a look at the case a few years' back so I was going to ask Elliot to dig around for me."
Sam lifted a perfectly manicured eyebrow, casually sliding one knee over the other as she levelled her friend with a knowing, albeit slightly surprised look.
"Huh. How's Hank feel about that?"
"I haven't told him yet." Kate replied, shifting uncomfortably at the thought of telling her husband that she was going to ask her ex-lover for help on her father's case.
"I'm sure he'll be fine with it." Sam tried with a barely concealed smirk but Kate's withering expression silenced her almost instantly.
"Have you met my husband?" She groaned. "He's fine about these things until one day he decides he's not and suddenly I'm left trying to hide hickies beneath turtlenecks for the next week."
Sam tugged her lower lip between her teeth in an effort to stifle a laugh at her friend's expense. Having seen the evidence of one of Hank Voight's jealous outbursts first hand, Sam wasn't at all surprised that she was waiting for the right moment to broach the sensitive subject with her significant other.
"It's kinda hot though, right?" Sam hummed with a saucy wink, her bright green eyes glittering with shameless impertinence that had Kate grinning despite herself.
"You're so bad."
Kate's grumbled complaint was lost as Sam threw her head back with a loud, tinkering laugh but all too soon they were interrupted by Sam's stony-faced assistant who took great pleasure informing them that Sam's two o'clock meeting was in the lobby and that she would gladly escort Kate back to the foyer where she could follow proper process and sign the visitor log like she had asked. With a final plea to play nice with Kelton, or at least give her some warning if Hank decided that shooting him was worth the punishment, Sam drew Kate into a tight embrace before shooing her out of her office where Susan was waiting with a pinched brow and pursed lips, wielding a ballpoint pen in Kate's face like a samurai sword.
Later that evening after she had put Alexis to bed, Kate quietly padded into the en suite bathroom to find Hank reclining in the clawfoot bathtub, submerged to mid-chest in hot, fragrant water with his eyes closed, damp face tilted towards the ceiling. Even in the dim light, Kate could see that his usually tense muscles had already started to relax, the lines around his eyes and on his forehead smoothing until they were virtually nonexistent.
Hovering in the doorway for a beat, Kate took a moment to simply watch him, feeling the stress of her own day gradually melting away with each passing second but her covert surveillance was drawn to a premature close when his deep, gritty voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
"You just gonna stand there staring or you gonna join me?"
Hank slowly turned his head to face her, his eyes fluttering open to watch her tap her lips with an index finger, pretending to seriously consider her options.
"Well, you know how much I love staring at you…" She mused quietly, pushing away from the doorframe to shuffle across the room under his watchful gaze, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards as she made a beeline for the thick, plush rug that sat adjacent to the tub, knowing how much she hated walking barefoot on the cold white tiles.
His question was answered when she dropped her hands to the waistband of her jeans, nimble fingers plucking the button open and drawing the zipper down in swift movements before she shimmied the denim down her long legs, her shirt and underwear joining the steadily growing pile of fabric on the floor. Hank's warm brown eyes darkened just as they always did when she was bared to him but before he was able to fully appreciate every inch of his wife's beautiful body, she was stepping between his parted legs at the other end of the large bathtub and submerging herself into the water with a groan of relief.
They were both silent for a few long moments, Hank's hands instantly searching through the bubbles to draw Kate's legs into his lap, palms rhythmically gliding over the soft skin of her calves and shins.
"I was, uh, thinking about asking Elliot to take a look and see if OCCB has any record of my dad's case in their archives."
Hank's hands paused in their gentle ministrations as he cracked open one eye to find Kate watching him intently from the other end of the tub, her lower lip captured between her teeth, worrying the plump flesh as she waited for his response.
"I thought OCCB was created because of Stabler's wife?" He eventually replied, strong fingers returning to their task of kneading the tight muscles in her legs.
"The department as it is now was set up to hunt down Wheatley but the NYPD has always had an Organised Crime division."
He hummed in response, head tilting to one side slightly as he turned her words over in his mind. She had never hidden the fact that she'd had a relationship of sorts with the OCCB detective but, despite knowing the two had physical chemistry, it was the uncertainty of not knowing the depth of their emotional connection that had always kept him somewhat on edge. There was no doubt in his mind that whatever romantic attachment she had with Stabler had long been severed but still he found himself unable to let go of the thought that perhaps their dalliance had been more than just an undercover fling.
"You know, you never really told me about your thing with Stabler." He said carefully, noting how her brows furrowed in confusion.
"Yeah I did…I told you in New York."
"You gave me the cliff notes in New York." He corrected with a raised eyebrow, watching Kate as she slipped even deeper into the warmth of the water, hesitating for just a beat before responding.
"Well I didn't think you'd want the details."
Hank's steadfast silence told her that he was indeed asking for the details but his nimble fingers tracing soft patterns on her slick skin also told her that this wasn't about his ego. Of course they had spoken about previous partners, particularly those who had meant something to them, but they were also respectful of one another's boundaries and Kate wasn't exactly thrilled of the prospect of delving into her sexual history with her husband.
"Look, I know you don't really care for him, but Elliot's a good man." She said softly. "He's the kind of cop who isn't afraid to break the rules to get the job done, he'd give his life for his partner and he loves his family more than anything else in the world. Sound familiar?"
He didn't know much about Stabler but, he had to admit, there was a lot in her description of the NYPD detective that sounded very familiar.
"So why didn't you want more?"
Kate had anticipated the question before the words left his lips and, in all honestly, it was a question she had asked herself a thousand times over before she moved to Chicago. Why didn't she want more with Elliot? He was safe, kind, handsome. Everything she would look for in a man and yet the thought of their brief sexual encounter becoming anything more than that had never once crossed her mind.
"Mentally I was in pretty bad shape when Walker and Bell put me under. My life was in pieces but…Elliot was just there. He held me together long enough for me to knit the broken pieces back together."
Hank was quiet for a beat, his eyes scanning her face as he processed her words. In many ways he was grateful that Stabler had been there to keep her head on straight in the aftermath of her breakup with Cordona. He knew all too well how it felt to just need to feel anything other than pain and, for him, that reprieve had almost always been found at the bottom of a bottle. For Kate, it had been in the arms of Elliot Stabler.
"Guess the sex must've been earth shattering, hmm?" He mumbled wryly, the corner of his mouth ticking upwards when Kate's eyes widened in surprise, clearly not anticipating his candid line of questioning.
"Honey, I don't think you really wanna hear-"
"Just…humour me." He interrupted. "I'm a big boy."
Did he want to know just how good Stabler was in the sack? Absolutely not. But still he found himself wondering if it was just about the sex or whether there was something more to the story.
"Hmm, that you are." She mumbled coyly, slowly inching her foot towards the apex of his thighs, grinning slightly when his soft length twitched with interest. But clearly he wasn't going to be deterred from their current topic of discussion as he darted out a hand to catch her ankle before she could continue her distracting ministrations any further. "It wasn't meaningless but, no, it wasn't 'earth shattering' as you so eloquently put it." She eventually answered with a sigh. "He made me feel less numb I suppose…but I didn't get earth shattering until you came along and blew my innocent little mind."
Kate balked in mock outrage at Hank's snort of amusement, tossing a nearby sponge at his chest with a pout. Whilst it was true that she had been far from innocent when she came to his bed, he owned all of the firsts that mattered and, most importantly, he was going to be her last.
"Do you love him?"
This time, his quiet question did catch her off guard. There were plenty of men in her life that she loved but there was only one man she was in love with; surely he knew that?
But one look at his face quelled the rising tide of panic that was already swelling in her chest. He wanted to know why he was different. He wanted to know what had changed her mind about falling in love in between boarding a plane in New York and her feet touching the ground in Chicago. And the answer to that question was sitting right in front of her. He was the reason she decided to open up to love when she was been steadfast in her desire to be alone. But while it might have been Elliot who helped keep her broken heart together, it was Hank who had healed her soul.
"He was there when I didn't have anyone else to turn to. It's the kinda love you have for someone who was there when nobody else seemed to care if you lived or died."
Her words hung heavy in the space between them and Hank found himself swallowing thickly, an uncomfortable sensation swilling around in the pit of his stomach at the thought of her feeling so isolated. Again, it was a feeling he knew better than most but he wished more than anything that he could have found her sooner.
"Tell you what else we've never really talked about." She said quietly, hazel eyes trained on his face. "Your stint at Stateville."
Aside from the brief précis he had given her in his office before they signed the forms disclosing their relationship, he hadn't expanded any further on the six months he had spent behind bars. He wasn't proud of his behaviour that culminated in Antonio slamming him face first into the hood of a squad car, but he had truly believed at the time that he didn't have a choice. Justin hadn't been an angel but he wasn't a hardened criminal either and, being a cop's son in a maximum security prison, Hank was terrified that he'd either be in a body bag or face down on a bottom bunk before the first lights out. It turned out that his son was charismatic enough to secure himself some protection but, even still, Hank didn't sleep through the night for the entire twelve months Justin was inside.
A soft palm gliding over his shin pulled him from his thoughts, his eyes catching Kate's from the other side of the tub.
"Half the people in that hellhole were there because of me." He said gruffly. "How I made it out alive is nothin' short of a miracle."
"Surely they offered you protective custody?" She asked, continuing her gentle but thorough exploration of his left leg, walking her fingers along the curve of his calf, the pad of her thumb brushing over his knee before she repeated the process again.
"They did. I turned it down."
"Of course you did." She huffed with a shake of her head, throwing him a look of despair. Somehow she wasn't at all surprised that he chose to take his chances in gen pop. If there was one thing convicts hated more than an arrogant cop and that was a weak cop.
"I was in there two days before word got back that the whole tier were comin' after me. Kill a cop, you're top dog." Hank's eyes dropped to where he had braced the sole of Kate's foot against the centre of his chest, his palm resting over the front of her ankle. "Four guys jumped me in the kitchen. One of 'em's got a shank the size of a butcher knife."
His voice was steady but Kate the desolate resignation in his eyes that she had seen the night he had planned to willingly sacrifice his life for their daughter's.
"I wasn't afraid to die."
Kate's heart lurched into her throat, fingers gripping the muscle of his thigh as though clutching him a little tighter would ensure he stayed right where he was.
"But I was afraid of how Justin might remember me. My cellmate, guy called Eddie Little, showed up in the kitchen with a few friends…and from then on I was protected. He was the reason I got a second chance. To be a cop, a grandfather, a husband, a 'girl dad'."
His mouth pulled into a soft smile at the cute moniker Kate had given him long before he Alexis was born. While it was true that he hadn't biologically been the father of a daughter until recently, in his mind he became a 'girl dad' twenty years ago when he opened his home and his heart to a fifteen year-old runaway.
"And what a girl dad you are." Kate mused, idly wondering how he was ever going to deal with the prospect of not being the number one man in Alexis' life when the time eventually came. "I'm so thankful you're here, y'know that?"
Kate didn't miss the mischievous glint that flashed in his eyes as the corner of his mouth once again quirked into a wry grin. "How thankful?"
Gripping the edge of the tub, Kate eased herself forwards until her chest was pressed flush to his, her nose bumping his and her arms settling around his neck.
"Hmm…this thankful." She whispered against his lips before sealing her mouth over his in a sultry kiss.
"That it?" He asked gruffly when she pulled away, the corner of his eyes crinkling with amusement as his large palms came to rest on her waist, holding her securely against his body.
Carding her fingers through the short tresses at the nape of his neck, Kate closed the space between them to push a soft kiss to his waiting lips before tracking a path along the sharp line of his jaw. When she reached the sensitive patch of skin beneath his ear, she gently sucked the damp flesh into the warm cavern of her mouth, delighting in his sharp intake of breath.
"Well, how 'bout you take me to bed and I'll show you just how thankful I am?"
Not needing any further encouragement, Hank captured her lips one more time before pushing to his feet, ignorant to the now-tepid water sloshing around them as he tugged Kate along with him.
"Yes ma'am."