Chapter 9: All in war is so cold

Catherine was staring out the window into her backyard with her mind on Vincent. She hadn't been able to get him off her mind since she saw him yesterday. She constantly worried about him, especially after seeing VJ, she saw the look in his eyes. Vincent looked so excited to see VJ she felt so stupid for not letting VJ grow up not knowing Vincent was his father. That was one huge mistake she regrets so badly. Looking back at the time VJ started calling Evan dad she remembers being uncomfortable with it at first she had planned on allowing VJ to see Evan as his stepfather but as time went on and she saw how much Evan made her son happy and how much VJ loved him she thought it would be better to just tell him when he was older and could understand.

It was killing her to know Vincent was hiding how he was feeling about this situation. She knew Vincent she knew he wasn't okay with this at all but he always was the type to be the bigger man and do the right thing, especially for her. That was one of the things she loved about him, but she didn't like that he was doing that at the cost of his happiness.

Catherine was determined to make this work. VJ needed to have Vincent in his life even if he didn't know it and Vincent definitely needs VJ in his life. She felt so sad Vincent lost everything including her. Ever since the day she got the phone call he was awake she cried for him and all the hurt she knew this situation would cause him.

Today was no different as she stared out the window that morning with coffee in her hand she wiped away the stray tears that came from her eyes as she thought about him. When she heard Evan come walking into the kitchen. she had hurried to wipe her eyes she didn't want him to know she had been crying.

"You ok?" He asked coming up behind her and hugging her close to him. He kissed the top of her head.

She nodded sinking into his embrace. Evan was a great hugger and that was definitely what she needed a hug. She snuggled into his embrace taking in the temporary comfort.

"You want some breakfast? VJ had wanted cereal so I didn't make anything since I am not very hungry"

"No, I am ok I'll just grab a donut at the station you know we always have donuts" Evan chuckled.

Catherine left Evan's embrace and went over to grab another cup of coffee.

"Sorry I was so late getting in last night had some stuff come up. So how did it go yesterday?"

"We gave Vincent a nice welcome home" She smiled slightly.

"Did he seem ok?"

"Yeah, he's walking a lot better, with a cane now though. I think he is just finally happy to be home and out of that hospital" Catherine looked over at Evan seeing the uncomfortable look he was trying to hide she could tell it wasn't easy hearing her talk about her ex-fiancee. She walked over to him as he sat at the kitchen island she placed her hand assuringly on his.

"I know you have been really understanding I know how difficult this is for you. I just wish you could have seen the look on his face yesterday. He just lit up when little Vincent came running up to him"

"Catherine I don't know if I would want little Vincent over there... without you... with him alone" he had to change what he said as he said it cause he knew it didn't sound right. What right did he have telling Vincent he couldn't see his own son? As much as he wanted to say that he changed his mind.

"Yeah you're right it could be confusing" Catherine frowned.

Evan wasn't sure why he said it the way he did but he just knew Catherine and Vincent couldn't be alone together either he didn't trust the guy. He didn't know if he would respect his and Catherine's marriage. That he wouldn't try to seduce her and take her back he definitely wasn't letting that happen.

Catherine saw the unease in his eyes. "We are gonna make this work ok I promise" Catherine smiled trying to assure him everything would be fine, and it would be. She had to make it right for everyone.

"You will like Vincent too I know you will, you have so much in common. You both love sports... and cheeseburgers, you know what! we should invite him over for like... a barbecue or something next week"

"Let's just take this one day at a time" Evan didn't liking that idea at all he could only imagine how awkward that would be.

"ok" she smiled at him she wanted to get rid of that worry in his eyes "I love you," she said and kissed him.

"I love you too"

A little after Evan and VJ left for school and work Catherine showered and got dressed she needed to run some errands. she knew that if she stayed home she would be consumed by thoughts of Vincent. She figured she would call him later if she got too anxious to hear from him.

After grabbing groceries and picking up Evans's uniforms from the cleaners. Catherine stopped by Tess's. She needed to get all that she had been feeling off her chest.

"Ugh! Why are you here so early" Tess groaned as she opened her front door for Catherine. Tess had on her pajamas and her hair was all over the place since she had just got out of bed.

"Sorry I needed to talk besides I thought you would be up by now it is almost 11 am"

"Yeah well Jia woke me up, she was so fussy last night"

"Aww, where is she?"

"She went with Joe to visit his mom. Jia just loves her Nana" Tess smiled as she took a seat on her sofa. She got comfortable under a throw blanket on the sofa and Catherine sat across from her on the other sofa.

Catherine still couldn't believe Tess had a 10-month-old baby girl and is now engaged to be married to Joe. It was quite the scandal as well Joe was her and Catherine's boss at the hospital. He was also married and somewhere around the time Catherine started dating Evan, she found out that Tess and Joe had been having a secret affair. The affair lasted for almost a year before Tess told Joe she couldn't be with him anymore. Tess was falling in love with Joe but he was still married the guilt and secrets became too much so she left him alone. Joe realized in their separation that he also was in love with Tess. So about a year later after getting divorced from his wife he showed up at her doorstep and confessed his love for her. They have been together ever since of course Tess unexpectedly got pregnant with Jia right after Joe had proposed. Tess and Joe's wedding was in a few weeks.

"So how's the wedding planning going?"

Tess rolled her eyes at the ceiling "It's a pain in the ass I don't know why I didn't just choose the simple route"

Catherine chuckled "From what I've seen your wedding will be every woman's dream"

"Yeah but a financial nightmare I am saving a few bucks having Heather help instead of paying some wedding planner so that's a plus"

Catherine smiled "Trust when it's all said and done it will be worth it"

Tess looked over at Catherine she could tell she had something on her mind.

"So how's Vincent?"

"Vincent is better actually he looks like he is doing very well"

"But..."

"What?"

"What is that look you have on your face something is bothering you"

Catherine sighed "Tess what if I made a mistake"

Tess's eyebrow raised "Mistake?"

"Yes, what if I was supposed to wait for Vincent? What if..."

"Oh no you don't," Tess says sitting up and grabbing Catherine's hands.

"Don't you dare, we've been through this before Cat. You should not feel bad about moving on and living your life. No one thought Vincent would ever wake up. All these what-if questions will do nothing but drive you insane. No one could have known he would wake you waited so long before you even got with Evan. Hell you barely married him"

Catherine shook her head trying to take in Tess's reasoning but still feeling the guilt. Silent tears began to stream from her eyes.

"What do you think you were supposed to do sit and wait as years passed you by never loving anyone and what if Vincent didn't wake up? You would have wasted five years of your life. Don't beat yourself up it is not your fault. It is not your fault!" Tess said sternly she stared into her best friend's eyes she hated to see her this way.

This wasn't the first time they had this talk but she really wanted her to believe her words this time. Tess took a seat next to Cat hugging her as Catherine cried on her shoulder. She just knew her friend had a long road ahead of her.

After a few minutes, Catherine dried her eyes and sat up.

"Vincent saw VJ yesterday"

Tess's eyebrow perked up "and"

"It was ok. VJ was so uninterested but Vincent he lit up just like I knew he would."

"Gosh, I don't even know what to say. Why did Vincent tell you not to tell VJ about him?"

"I think initially it was because of the shock of the whole situation, losing me, plus me being married and then having his son who knows nothing about him. I think he thought it was best to not complicate things."

"Vincent isn't fair to himself"

"I know that's what bothers me which is why I brought VJ over to see him. Vincent always hides the way he feels but I have known him so long I can always tell"

"So what are you going to do?"

"I am going to just keep bringing VJ around him I want him to know his real father."

"What about Evan how is he handling all this?"

"He kind of in his own way told me he doesn't want me and Vincent alone together"

Tess laughed "Are you serious"

"yes"

Tess laughed again.

"Why is this funny?"

"Because you are not the cheating type, ..like at all I remember you wouldn't even cheat at board games"

"What's wrong with that I like honest clean gameplay"

"That is why you always lost to Vincent and me, we would steal money from the bank every time we played Monopoly" Tess laughed.

Catherine rolled her eyes but laughed too.

"Hell, you could have cheated on Vincent in high school and college you never did. You guys broke up so many times"

"Those weren't real breakups though they were more like arguments. we always got back together days or something weeks later."

"Still in college, your suppose to go wild and let loose You stayed with Vincent in a long distant relationship. Evan has nothing to worry about"

Catherine sighs "I am scared"

"Why? Everything will work out, Vincent and Evan are both great guys"

"I know but what if it doesn't and it becomes this big mess full of drama?"

"Then you get in the car and run away" Tess laughs "No I am kidding, you will make it work because you have a good heart Cat. Vincent and Evan will do anything to make you happy including putting up with each other knowing they don't want to. plus I will kick both of their asses if they get out of hand"

Catherine laughed "Thanks, Tess," she said hugging her. She was feeling a little better now that she talked to her about everything she was feeling.

After Cathrine left Tess's house a few hours later she went home and called Vincent. She just had to talk to him after not talking to him for so many years and then seeing him yesterday she was dying to hear from him.

"Hello," Vincent says into the phone.

"Vincent hey it's Catherine how are you doing?"

Vincent took the phone from his ear and looked at it for a second to make sure he was hearing right.

"Catherine? Surprised to be getting a call from you"

"Really? We are still friends right?"

"I guess" Vincent wasn't sure how to take this at all. He knew for a while it would be awkward between him and Catherine till they got used to the situation. He didn't expect that he would hear from her so often. So the fact she called him after seeing him yesterday threw him off.

"I didn't expect to be hearing from you so soon"

"Oh yes I wanted to see how you were doing how was your first day at home"

"It was fine" but I missed you he thought.

Catherine was so nervous on the phone she expected Vincent to be a little more talkative but she forgot how much of an awkward situation they were in.

"Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Nothing I can't manage" Vincent lied. When he woke this morning he was in a lot of pain, all the moving around he did yesterday after he got home plus his pain meds had worn off.

"Well, I didn't want anything only just checking on you so I guess I'll talk to you later" Catherine didn't know what else to say.

"Thanks for calling I appreciate it" Vincent tried to sound cheerful but he wasn't. He felt sad today and talking to Catherine made it worse.

"You're welcome maybe I'll stop by this week to come to see you"

"Oh no you don't have to do that I wouldn't want to get in your way"

"Vincent, of course, I am going to come by I want to see you."

Vincent sighed "ok"

"I will talk to you later ok"

"OK bye Catherine"

Catherine sighed as she hung up her phone. Vincent didn't sound all that thrilled about her coming to see him but she was determined to make it work she just had to.

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