Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
"Ugh, my office is never going to be the same again," The Baroness grumbled as she walked out of her office. "It figures. The time I need it cleaned the most is when the entire cleaning staff is destroyed."
An inhuman sound was heard outside the building. "All right that's odd even for Cobra," The Baroness remarked. She made her way to a corridor with several windows that looked out on the front lawn.
"Now what is going on?" The Baroness looked outside the window. "I swear if it isn't one form of insanity around here it is another!"
"I'm afraid it's even worse than usual this time," Zarana groaned as she walked up to the Baroness carrying a few gas masks.
"What do you mean? And what is all that smoke outside?" The Baroness asked.
"Take this gas mask just to be on the safe side," Zarana sighed as she handed her one.
"Why?"
"Trust me on this one," Zarana said as she put it on. "You're not going to believe what's going on now. It's crazy."
"Crazier than an invasion of nano zombies we deactivated less than an hour ago?" The Baroness put on her gas mask. "That cannot be possible!"
"Wanna bet?" Zarana pointed outside the window.
Outside the window there was smoke everywhere. Ambling amid the smoke and piles of dead bodies were strange two legged plant creatures moaning and being set on fire by Torch and a few other Dreadnoks. Several of the former nano zombies occupying the lawn were also on fire but weren't really doing anything about it.
And several members of the male Cobra high command were flailing about doing weird dances.
"I stand corrected," The Baroness blinked. "What…?"
"Some of those sentient marijuana plants that escaped came crawling out of the woodwork," Zarana explained. "And they multiplied. A lot."
"So they're rampaging through the city destroying everything," The Baroness groaned.
"Not exactly," Zarana said. "Look."
"I LOVE MY JOB!" Monkeywrench laughed as he set several pot plants on fire. He breathed in the fumes. "BEST DAY EVER!"
"WHOOO HOOO!" Torch of course was also setting several plant creatures on fire.
Of course you all know what happens when a lot of pot, sentient or not is set on fire.
"Oh yeah Mon!" Destro was dancing around in the smoke. "It's good to be back in Jamaica! YAH!"
"Guys…Guys…Guys!" Cobra Commander was staggering around. "I got an idea! We should just quit our jobs…And start a band!"
"Let's make it a reggae band Mon," Destro's Jamaican accent had replaced his half Scottish one. "Then we can get girls and ganja!"
"That's brilliant!" Cobra Commander said. "Destro you're a genius!"
"I know," Destro began to dance around.
"Have you ever seen your hands?" Mindbender was walking around in a daze looking at his hands. "I mean really seen your hands? They're amazing!"
"One two three la conga! One two three la conga!" Xamot, Tomax, Road Pig and Zero danced by in a conga line. Xamot was wearing a yellow dress and a fruit hat over his uniform.
"Whoa! I feel so mellow…" Zandar was staggering around giggling. "They call me Mellow Yellow! Quite Rightly…"
"Smoke gets in your eyes…" Zartan giggled as he danced around.
"Ah hence the gas masks," The Baroness nodded. "I get it now. Except for one thing."
"One thing?" Zarana asked her.
"Why did you give me a gas mask instead of letting me succumb to the fumes?" The Baroness asked. "I know we are not exactly the best of friends…"
"No, but I need someone to help me film these bozos so I can get a lot of blackmail material," Zarana explained. "There's just going to be too much stuff and I can't film it all alone."
"FIRE! WHOOO! COOL MAN!" Monkeywrench was just staggering around burning things besides the sentient pot plants. Such as trees, shrubs, dead bodies…
"AAAAAH!" Zanzibar ran with his pants on fire.
"Pretty! Pretty fire!" Monkeywrench giggled.
"Oh Mon checkout the pyrotechnics for our first show!" Destro whistled.
"Are we at the Grammys already?" Cobra Commander staggered around.
"Can't be. I don't see Taylor Swift or Kanye West," Destro shrugged. "Maybe we're at Coachella?"
"A gig's a gig man," Cobra Commander slurred. "Let's rock!" To which Destro and Cobra Commander began to dance around wildly singing two completely different songs.
"I see your point," The Baroness nodded. "I'll film Destro and Cobra Commander and you get the rest. Maybe some of Torch."
"Torch doesn't seem to be affected by the smoke," Zarana pointed.
"MUAH HA HA! BURN! BURN! BURN! HA HA HA!" Torch ran around setting fire to not only the sentient plants but the lawn.
"You're right. He's acting the same," The Baroness realized. "Oh wait, marijuana affects brain cells!"
"Right. You can't affect something that isn't there," Zarana agreed. "Hold on. Doesn't Cobra Commander's mask have a built in air filter?"
"It does. But if I know the Commander and unfortunately I do…" The Baroness sighed. "He probably let some fumes in on purpose to get a buzz off them."
"I can't stop this feeeeee-lllling deep inside of me!" Cobra Commander sang as he danced wildly around.
"You know we really should look into updating our resume or something," The Baroness groaned.
"Yeah. Right after we get enough blackmail material on the blokes," Zarana grinned.