Four Joes And A Dead Cop
"Why did you pick this dump, Shipwreck?" Low Light groaned as the Joes stood at the counter. "There's nobody here!"
"It's the only place open!" Shipwreck said. "Literally. Anyway, it can't be that bad. There's a cop sitting over there at that booth. You know cops are the ones with good tastes in food."
"You're thinking of firemen, Shipwreck," Leatherneck looked at him.
"No, he's right," Wet Suit said. "It's cops that know the best chow."
"No, it's firemen!" Leatherneck glared at him.
"Here we go," Low Light groaned.
"Has your one remaining brain cell died?" Wet Suit snapped. "It's cops!"
"Whoever heard of a four alarm police station chili?" Leatherneck snapped. "It's firemen!"
"It's cops!" Wet Suit snapped.
"It's firemen!" Leatherneck snapped.
"It's cops!"
"No, it's firemen!"
"I've always thought truckers were pretty good judges of taste," Shipwreck spoke up.
"WHO ASKED YOU?" Both Leatherneck and Wet Suit snapped. Then went back to fighting.
"Cops!"
"Firemen!"
"Cops!"
"Firemen!"
"COPS!"
"FIREMEN!"
"Can we please get some service here?" Low Light shouted. "What the hell is going on back there? It's like they're hiding from us!"
"COPS!"
"FIREMEN!"
"COPS!"
"FIREMEN!
"Why don't we ask the cop to break the tie?" Shipwreck asked.
"Oh, like he won't be biased?" Leatherneck snapped. "IT'S COPS!"
"FIREMEN!"
"WHERE THE HELL IS THE SERVICE HERE?" Low Light shouted.
"Right here sir!" A young man with the name BRAD on his nametag appeared. "Sorry about the wait. We had a little problem in the kitchen. Just a tiny one. We're fixing it. Our stove broke. Manager took off with his girlfriend in the middle of the night so…"
"Did we ask for your life story?" Shipwreck asked.
"No, sir and I'm rather hurt," Brad told him.
"If you don't cut the comedy you will be…" A woman with the name CHERYL on her nametag arrived. "Brad."
"FIREMEN!"
"COPS!"
"FIREMEN!"
"COPS!"
"IDIOTS!" Low Light shouted. "SHUT UP! We're going to order now!"
"You're not our supervisor!" Wet Suit snapped.
Cheryl blinked. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"
"What?" Low Light blinked.
"Don't watch FXX do you?" Brad sighed. "Can I take your order?"
"I don't know, can you?" Shipwreck quipped.
"Will you people can it?" Low Light groaned. "Just give us four of everything you have."
"Are you sure we can afford it?" Shipwreck asked.
"About twenty bucks worth? I think we can manage!" Low Light pointed at the sign.
"Wow, food really is cheap here," Wet Suit remarked.
"So is Cheryl," Brad quipped. Cheryl glared at him.
"Hey is that cop okay?" Leatherneck noticed something. "He hasn't moved since we got in here."
"You would have thought Leatherneck's big mouth alone would have woken him up," Wet Suit remarked.
"It's just…" Brad paused. "Officer Bernie. He's dead tired."
"Dead right," Cheryl added.
"He's had a long shift," Brad added. "He's due for a vacation."
"A long vacation," Cheryl added. "Retirement actually."
"Doesn't look that old," Leatherneck noticed. "Doesn't seem ready for retirement."
"Trust me, Sir," Brad said. "No one is readier than Bernie. So that will be 19.97…"
"Wow," Low Light remarked. "We saved a whole three cents."
"That's pretty cheap even for a fast food joint," Shipwreck blinked.
"Military discount," Brad said quickly. "The same goes for cops and firefighters."
"That explains why the cop is here," Wet Suit remarked.
"Don't start with that again," Leatherneck snapped.
"You gentlemen sit down and we'll bring the food right to you," Brad said quickly. He and Cheryl quickly went into the back. 'Brad' and 'Cheryl' went to confer with their fellow Cobras.
To their dismay they saw the Joes sat at a booth right behind the dead police officer. "Oh, this will not end well…" Destro groaned.
"An entire restaurant full of empty tables and booths and they have to sit right next to the dead guy!" The Baroness groaned.
"And you know these are the type of people who are just going to linger forever at a table," Tomax grumbled.
"And not leave a tip," Xamot added.
"Really?" Zartan glared at them. "That's the thing that's bothering you in this situation? Seriously?"
"Among other things. Why didn't you charge more for their meal?" Tomax snapped.
"We could have screwed those Joes!" Xamot agreed.
"Because we're already pushing our luck!" Zandar whispered in his regular accent. "I didn't want to shove us over a cliff!"
"I'd love to shove those bloody Joes over a cliff," Zarana went back to her accent. "Of all the bloody restaurants in all the bloody cities why did they have to come into this one?"
"Just be grateful Roadblock isn't with them," The Baroness hissed. "Knowing him he'd want to inspect the kitchen."
"Let's not tempt fate any more than necessary," Destro whispered. "We just get them in and out. Zartan fry up everything you can find and dump it on a couple of trays. The sooner they go, the sooner we can leave and leave this nightmare that is our lives behind us!"
"Especially since we have a very limited window of opportunity," Zartan remarked. "Within an hour that table is going to emit an ungodly smell."
"Maybe the smell of the food will cover up the smell of the corpse?" The Baroness suggested.
"I was talking about the smell of the food!" Zartan said. "But yeah, that won't help."
"How long does it take for a body to…" Destro paused. "Evacuate itself?"
"Well that usually depends on different circumstances," Zartan remarked. "But usually…Almost immediately."
"That's something they never show on those crime shows," Zarana groaned.
"Maybe the cheesy tots will back him up for a bit?" The Baroness said sarcastically.
"We have got to get Officer Body out of here!" Destro snapped. "Zartan as a Dreadnok I would think disposing of unwanted corpses would be a specialty of yours. You and your brother handle it!"
"What do you want me to do Destro?" Zartan snapped. "Cast a voodoo spell so every time music plays he walks around?"
"Maybe I could conjure up an elaborate pulley system and hope the Joes don't notice the strings?" Zandar added. "And then get a flyswatter to swat the flies off him."
"I see your point," Destro groaned. "We can't leave him there!"
"Sure, I'll just drag him out to the back," Zandar gave him a look.
"We'll figure something out," Destro groaned. "Just get cooking. And keep the Joes distracted."
"You want us to get rid of the body," Zartan was stunned. "Cook the meal, distract the Joes…What are you going to do Destro? Put on a comedy act?"
"You cut the comedy act and get to work!" Destro snapped.
"You're not my supervisor!" Zartan snapped.
"Yes, I am!" Destro snapped.
"Are you though?" Zandar remarked. "Because I don't think we ever really resolved that question…"
"Just get to work!" Destro hissed.
Meanwhile back at the Joe table…
"For a fast food joint this place is pretty slow," Shipwreck remarked.
"Don't look at me," Low Light pointed out. "You picked it."
"Again, it was the only place open," Shipwreck gave him a look.
"It is kind of weird out of all the restaurants this is the only one that didn't burn down in this area," Wet Suit frowned. "Are you sure this place is safe?"
"There's a cop sleeping here," Shipwreck pointed to the officer in the next booth. "Safe-ish."
"That fills me with confidence," Wet Suit groaned. "Maybe the cop knows about what happened?"
"Oh, let him sleep," Leatherneck told him. "Guy has probably been up all night."
"And we haven't?" Shipwreck yawned. "I told Duke. Cobras have all slithered away into whatever rock they're hiding under now. It was just dumb luck we got one of those guys in the first place."
"Emphasis on the dumb," Wet Suit snorted. "Apparently this Zanzibar only has the shortest arrest warrant because he couldn't finish most of the jobs he started."
"There were more than a couple of small crimes on that idiot's rap sheet," Low Light nodded. "Who steals toilet paper out of a men's room?"
"Besides Zanzibar?" Shipwreck snorted. "And his piracy rap is only technical. Who tries to steal a garbage scow?"
"The one ship he actually did steal from had nothing but those boxes of rubber ducks," Low Light snorted.
"He doesn't even have any murder or arson raps," Leatherneck added. "For a Dreadnok, that's really tame. No wonder the snakes left him behind."
"Like it or not that idiot is the best lead we have on Cobra," Low Light groaned.
"Any lead on our order?" Wet Suit looked around.
"Here we go!" Zandar quickly went over with Zarana wearing their disguises. Both were carrying huge trays of food. "Eat up!"
"It's about time," Shipwreck said as he tore into the food.
"Try to actually chew your food," Low Light told him as they started to eat.
"That guy's not chewing anything," Shipwreck pointed to the cop. "Is he okay?"
"He looks kind of pale," Wet Suit noticed. "And a little green."
"Told him not to eat the Cheesy Tots," Zandar quipped. "Hang on…"
Zandar moved over. "You all right officer? How's the world treating you?"
Zandar then threw his voice and made it sound gravelly. "Like a dog treats a fire hydrant. Just let me have my nap. Been up all night."
"Okay Officer Bernie," Zandar backed away. "We won't disturb you. He needs his rest."
"He's going to get a lot of it," Zarana added.
"Once his shift's over," Zandar added.
"It'll be over faster than you think," Zarana added.
"Let him rest," Zandar said. "He's not in a talkative mood."
"He's always been a bit of a stiff," Zarana remarked.
"Even more than usual lately," Zandar said quickly as he went into the back.
"Poor guy," Shipwreck said. "Must be dead tired."
"Dead right," Zarana whispered to Zandar.
The other Cobras were watching hidden in the back. "They're buying it!" Xamot was stunned. "I can't believe they're buying it!"
"Maybe those Weekend at Bernie's movies weren't completely off the mark after all?" Tomax suggested.
"I think I bought us some time," Zandar said.
"I'd forgotten about your ventriloquism phase," Zartan said to his brother.
"I told you that was a handy skill," Zandar sniffed. "All we have to do is hope the Joes finish eating and then we can close up and…."
"Hey! This is where you guys are hiding?" Alpine walked in with Bazooka.
"Alpine! Bazooka! Come on in and get some grub," Shipwreck called out.
"Good idea," Bazooka said. "I'm hungry."
"You have got to be kidding?" Zandar groaned.
"More Joes?" Zartan groaned. "This can't get any worse!"
Alpine stuck his head out the door. "Hey guys! Come on in! This is where to get the grub on!"
Wild Bill walked in. "I could eat."
Lift Ticket walked in with him. "When could you not eat?"
Gung Ho walked in. "Not exactly haute cuisine but any port in a storm…"
"I'm starving," Beach Head remarked. "I could eat a horse."
"Odds are in this place you might," Quick Kick told him as he followed.
"Horse isn't that bad," Tunnel Rat remarked as he followed them. "Honestly rabbit is better."
"Big Lob could eat a whole racetrack," Big Lob remarked as he walked in.
"Eating light, are we?" Ace quipped as he followed him. "Hey come on guys!"
"We're coming!" Short Fuse walked in. "Not like the chickens are gonna fly away."
"Can chickens fly?" Dial Tone asked as he walked in.
"Not that far," Dusty said as he followed Dial Tone.
Destro looked at Zartan. "It just got worse!"
"Unbelievable," The Baroness groaned before she went out front. "For about a week we barely had any customers at all. And now they all decide to show up!"
"Man, even for a chicken restaurant this place is for the birds," Short Fuse remarked. "How about some service here?"
"Hurry up!" Beach Head shouted. "We're hungry!"
"Just give us about a couple dozen of everything," Dusty called out.
"We have to serve the Joes now?" Zartan grumbled under his breath as he went to cook.
"I'm in Hell," Destro groaned as he banged his head against the wall. "I'm in Hell!"
"Serving fast food to Joes, yup!" Zartan snapped as he cooked. "That is part of my definition of Hell. Well that and anything involving Dreadnoks. But there's nothing we can do about it for now but play along! You could do something productive you know?"
Destro kept banging his head on the wall. "Or just keep doing that," Zartan groaned. "Xamot! Tomax! You're up!"
"We get a promotion," Tomax said as they started to help cook.
"Hooray," Xamot said dryly.
About fifteen minutes later all the Joes were now cheerfully eating in the dining area. "I can't believe we ended up cooking and serving a meal to Joes…" Xamot groaned as he wiped some sweat from his brow.
"I can't believe no one's noticed the dead guy yet," Tomax pointed. "Seriously. I know Joes are thick but…"
"Should have done what Mindbender did and skipped town!" Zarana agreed. "God I can't believe he's the smart one."
"It is rather shocking I must admit," Destro groaned.
"You know what would be more shocking?" Zartan remarked. "If you actually did some work!"
"I covered for us with the cop!" Destro snapped.
"The dead cop," Zandar pointed out.
"What more do you want?" Destro asked Zartan.
"Besides a billion dollars, to never see the Dreadnoks again, and a date with Amy Poehler?" Zartan asked. "For you to drop dead! After working for a change!"
"Amy Poehler?" Tomax asked.
"That's your celebrity crush?" Zandar asked.
"Her?" The Baroness asked.
"I like a woman who can make me laugh," Zartan admitted.
"Then how come you hate The Baroness?" Zarana pointed to her. "You've been laughing at her stupidity for years!"
"On purpose," Zartan clarified. "I like a woman who can make me laugh on purpose."
"Ohhhh," Zarana nodded.
"That makes sense," Xamot nodded.
"Why are we staying here on purpose? Can't we just sneak out the back now?" The Baroness asked, clearly fuming.
"They might notice and investigate the kitchen," Zartan hissed. "And find the tunnel and then find us!"
"They haven't even noticed the dead cop!" Zarana pointed out. "And I'm pretty sure his bowels have evacuated by now."
"Well the smell of the fried food is covering up pretty much everything," Zandar pointed out. "And those Joes are so hungry they'll eat anything."
"Lucky for us," Zartan sighed. "We ran out of a few things. I had to improvise."
"Improvise how?" Destro asked.
"Don't worry about it," Zartan waved.
"I think I should," Destro remarked. "When people say, don't worry about it. That's exactly the time to worry about it!"
Meanwhile back out in the dining area…
"Don't worry about it," Shipwreck waved as he ate.
"You see, when you say don't worry about it," Low Light looked at him. "That's when I think it's time to worry about it."
"Well I don't know what the hell you're so worried about," Shipwreck said. "This isn't exactly Strega on the Waterfront here."
"More like Strep under the Sewer Front," Wet Suit wrinkled his nose. "It smells like someone took a dump in his drawers. I know it."
"I think it's from the bathroom," Leatherneck remarked.
"It smells like somebody went to the bathroom," Wet Suit groaned.
"Since when are you Mr. Delicate?" Leatherneck asked. "For all we know it could probably be Beach Head."
"What do you mean probably Beach Head?" Beach Head snapped.
"You have a point," Wet Suit remarked.
"What point?" Beach Head growled.
"Dude we have to get Hawk to threaten you with the stockade to make you wear deodorant," Short Fuse called out.
"I've told you before," Beach Head snapped. "My armpits are extremely sensitive to chemicals! It's a medical condition!"
"It's a health violation," Short Fuse remarked.
"For your information Short on Thoughts…" Beach Head snapped. "I've found something completely natural that works. So that smell is not me!"
"He's right," Shipwreck quipped. "It smells slightly better than Beach Head. It can't be him."
"There!" Beach Head said smugly. "Wait a minute…"
"Well whatever it is I'm pretty sure this food isn't exactly the healthiest," Dial Tone groaned as he picked at his food.
"I don't know," Tunnel Rat munched. "These fried cockroach nuggets are pretty good."
"Hilarious Tunnel Rat," Beach Head groaned.
"I'm not joking," Tunnel Rat said. "These are cockroach nuggets. Look, you can see the antennae." He showed Beach Head.
"What the…?" Beach Head did a double take.
"Oh my God!" Alpine gasped. "He's right! These nuggets are made of cockroaches!"
"Something tells me I don't even want to know what's in the salad," Dusty groaned.
"I think I'm gonna be…" Dial Tone turned green and vomited on the floor.
"I think I just figured out what the smell is," Quick Kick winced. "Something tells me this is not the first time someone vomited in this restaurant."
"Probably not," Low Light groaned.
Bazooka paused as he looked at his food. Then ate a nugget. "Eh, not the worst thing I've ever eaten."
"Beats BA's stuff that's for sure," Tunnel Rat admitted as he ate.
"Now I'm gonna throw up," Low Light moaned.
"Oh, like you never ate a cockroach before!" Tunnel Rat snapped.
"NOT IN A CHICKEN RESTAURANT!" Low Light shouted.
"Actually, there was this one time in Phuket…" Shipwreck began. "Funny story…"
"Come on Shipwreck," Leatherneck stood up and grabbed him. "Let's go give those cooks a piece of our mind!"
"Why me?" Shipwreck asked.
"Because I was also there at Phuket that day," Leatherneck reminded him. "And I know you have a flair for getting your point across to cooks."
"In other words, you want to punish them," Wet Suit remarked. "I want to see this."
"If it's anything like what he did to BA last Welsh Wednesday I'll pass," Low Light groaned. "I'm going to be sick enough as it is."
Dial Tone threw up again. "Oh great…" Wild Bill groaned. "Now the smell is getting worse. Not to mention the floor."
"On the other hand…" Low Light got up to follow his friends. "Why miss an opportunity to watch someone get what's coming to them? This will not end well."
"Don't worry about it," Shipwreck waved as they went back into the kitchen.
Meanwhile back in the kitchen area…
"I'm telling you not to worry about it!" Zartan said to Destro.
"And again," Destro said. "I think we should worry about it!"
"We don't need to worry about it!" Zartan snapped as he took his disguise off.
"I think we do!" Destro snapped back.
"No, we don't!" Zartan told him.
"Yes, we do!" Destro retorted.
"You don't need to worry about it!" Zartan snapped.
"Worry about what?" Wet Suit said as the Joes entered the kitchen. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"
"DESTRO!? ZARTAN?" Leatherneck and Low Light shouted at the same time.
"Okay now you can worry about it," Zartan said to Destro.
"Oh really?" Destro said sarcastically. "Good to know!"
"Well this explains the damn cockroach nuggets!" Shipwreck told the others.
"You served the Joes cockroach nuggets?" Destro hissed.
He then paused and started to chuckle. "Okay I admit that's funny!"
"I thought so," Zartan shrugged.
"Destro!" Shipwreck shouted. "What the blazes are you doing here?"
"Not much, quite honestly," Zartan quipped.
"You know…?" Destro looked at Zartan.
"Zartan?" Low Light gasped.
"Oh, screw it!" Destro snapped as he reached for his weapon.
"I told you to keep your damn mask off!" The Baroness shouted in her true accent as she grabbed her gun.
"The Baroness!" Shipwreck gasped as he and the other Joes grabbed their weapons.
"Busted!" Zarana rolled her eyes as she pulled out her weapon.
"Zarana?" Low Light gasped.
"Yeah, and I'm Zandar!" Zandar threw down his wig. "In case you've forgotten! Which odds are you have…"
"Seriously…?" Zarana looked at Zandar. "This is what you have an issue with?"
"And that's Xamot and Tomax…" Zandar went on.
"Thanks a lot!" Tomax snapped as he threw off his wig.
"For throwing us under the bus," Xamot snapped as he grabbed his weapon and threw off his wig.
"If only that were literal," The Baroness quipped.
"And yes, the Cobras are all here hiding in Chicken Hell," Zandar went on. "Except for Cobra Commander who's lost at sea and Mindbender who's halfway to Costa Rica by now!"
"Well he is the smart one of this group," Wet Suit admitted.
"Are you finished Mr. Plot Exposition?" The Baroness snarled at Zandar.
"You snakes have been hiding in a chicken restaurant?" Leatherneck was stunned. "Serving fast food?"
"Well I wouldn't call it fast or food," Shipwreck quipped.
"And the only thing Destro and The Baroness have served are insults," Zarana quipped.
"This hasn't been one of our better weeks okay?" The Baroness snapped.
"This hasn't been one of our better years," Xamot groaned.
"Who are we kidding?" Tomax groaned. "This hasn't been one of our better decades!"
"Well compared to where you snakes are going…" Low Light growled.
"Can we just get on with the shoot out already?" Destro snapped. "Which is what we should have done in the first place!"
"Oh, look who's coming up with helpful ideas!" Zandar said sarcastically.
"I know, right?" Zartan remarked. "But in this instance…He does have a point."
"Uh something tells me we should fall back," Shipwreck gulped as the Cobras readied their weapons.
"You think?" Low Light snapped.
"Shall we for old times sake?" Destro suggested. "On three…One, two…"
"THREE!" The Baroness started firing as the Joes jumped out of the way. "CO-BRAAAAAAAA!"
"I knew there was something about this dump I didn't like!" Low Light groaned as they ran out of the kitchen.
"Whoa? What's going on?" Wild Bill asked.
"I guess the chefs can't take criticism," Quick Kick remarked.
"COBRAS!" Low Light shouted. "This restaurant is crawling with Cobras!"
"Oh, hell no!" Alpine groaned.
"HA! We've got the Joes on the run!" Xamot laughed as the Cobras moved to the counter and started to open fire. "Uh oh…"
Only to have every Joe in the place turn their weapons on them. "That and the fact there are reinforcements out there!" Tomax shouted.
"That's where the falling back comes in," Shipwreck shouted as he fired.
"Even Shipwreck knows better tactics than these clowns," Low Light snorted as the firefight started.
"Yeah!" Shipwreck snapped. "Hey!"
"Why did we come out here?" Xamot shouted as the Cobras took defensive positions behind the counter.
"Why are you so worried?" Zartan snapped. "We've been in hundreds of shootouts! Nobody ever gets shot in these things!"
ZZAPPP!
One of Zartan's shots went astray and hit the cop which fell out of his seat onto the floor. "Well almost nobody gets shot in these things," Zartan blinked.
"They killed a cop!" Bazooka shouted.
"NO, WE DIDN'T!" The Baroness snapped. "He was dead before you idiots came in here!"
"You murdered a cop?" Shipwreck shouted.
"No, he must have…" The Baroness began.
"You cop killing snakes!" Leatherneck snarled as the Joes kept firing.
"It figures," The Baroness groaned as the Cobras ducked under the counter. "The one death we didn't cause we're getting blamed for!"
"Can we worry now Zartan?" Destro asked sarcastically.
"That was uncalled for!" Zartan snarled over the gunfire.
"This restaurant is crawling with Cobras!" Low Light snarled as he opened fire. "Who would have thought the cockroach nuggets would be the least disgusting thing in here?"
"That was uncalled for!" The Baroness shouted.
"REALLY?" Destro shouted over the firefight. "THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IN THIS SITUATION?"
"I think our bigger problem is that the air has become a fifty percent mixture of lasers and bullets!" Zandar snapped. "What do we do?"
"Yes, Destro you're supposed to be the tactical genius," Zartan said sarcastically. "What do we do?"
"Fall back," Destro told him.
"That's your plan?" Zartan snapped.
ZZZZAPPP! KABOOOM!
A stray laser shot blew up a register above them. "Good plan!" Zartan gulped. "Cobra! Retreat! Retreat!" He crawled away as quickly as possible into the back.
"He can do a good imitation of Cobra Commander when he puts his mind to it," The Baroness groaned as the Cobras retreated to the kitchen. "What little he has."
"Just run into the tunnel," Destro took out the detonator. "I'll activate the detonator. Hopefully it will crush some of the…."
"Eat lasers snakes!" Shipwreck shouted as he and Low Light burst through the kitchen door. One of Low Light's blasts knocked the detonator out of Destro's hand.
"The detonator!" Destro shouted.
"Detonator?" Shipwreck blinked.
By a weird stroke of fate it landed in a sizzling hot batch of cooking oil. "It landed in the cooking oil!" Zarana shouted.
"Cooking oil?" Low Light shouted.
"That can't be good," Shipwreck gulped.
"Especially not with this cooking oil," Xamot shouted. "It's the extremely hot fat content kind."
"I think Brother, cholesterol is the least of our problems for now!" Tomax snapped.
"Uh oh," Destro blinked. "RUN FOR IT!"
"FALL BACK! FALL BACK!" The Joes ran in the opposite direction of the Cobras.
"COBRA! RETREAT! RETREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Zartan screamed.
"HEAD FOR THE TUNNEL!" Destro shouted to the Cobras.
"OUT THE DOOR!" Low Light shouted to the Joes. "SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The Cobras screamed as the building began to shake.
"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" Alpine ordered the Joes. "BAZOOKA PUT THOSE DAMN NUGGETS DOWN!"
"But I'm still hungry!" Bazooka whined.
"I'll take you to McDonalds!" Alpine shouted as he grabbed his friend and dragged him out the door.
"GO! GO! GO!" Low Light shouted.
RRRRRRUMMMBBLEEEEE!
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The Joes barely escaped before the entire restaurant collapsed in a heap. "Man, this street needs some serious urban development," Quick Kick coughed. "Is everyone all right?"
"No," Dial Tone moaned. "But it's nothing a stomach pump can't cure."
"Ugh I am never eating nuggets again," Big Lob groaned.
"Is everyone here?" Beach Head looked around. "Did we all get out?"
"Well the dead cop is still in there," Dusty said. "Other than that…"
"The Cobras went the other way," Low Light remarked.
"I don't suppose it's too much to ask that they're quashed to death in there is it?" Shipwreck grumbled.
"Those snakes are used to hiding under a rock," Beach Head grumbled. "A little thing like a wrecked restaurant on top of them isn't going to kill them."
"No, but those cockroach nuggets we ate might kill us," Big Lob groaned as he turned green. Then threw up.
"Eh, I've eaten worse," Shipwreck shrugged.
"Me too," Bazooka admitted. "And we've survived."
Meanwhile underground…
"I can't believe we survived," Destro groaned as the Cobras escaped through an underground tunnel all covered in dust. "I can't believe we survived…"
"Lucky for us the entrance to the underground tunnel was the last thing that collapsed," The Baroness groaned.
"Worst week ever!" Zartan snapped.
"You know it just occurred to me," Zarana groaned. "We should have poisoned those bloody Joes when we had the chance!"
"Didn't we already do that with the cockroach nuggets?" Xamot asked.
"He has a point," Tomax admitted.
"Besides it would have been pointless," Destro groaned. "One dead body proved to be impossible to hide. Five or more? That would definitely not have gone well."
"It didn't go well anyway!" The Baroness snapped.
"Look we escaped," Zartan snapped. "Humiliated the Joes. And Chicken Hell has been destroyed forever. And if I never go into another fast food restaurant it will be too damn soon!"
"Where are we going anyway?" Zarana asked.
"We'll find out when we get there," Destro said.
"What does that mean?" Zandar asked.
"It means we'll find out when we get there!" Destro shouted.
"Are we there yet?" Tomax asked sarcastically.
"Shut up!" Destro shouted.
"You are no longer our supervisor," Xamot quipped.
"Hang on…" The Baroness realized something. "Did anyone remember to take any money we stole?"
"What was left of it," Zarana groaned. "Not me."
"I was rather busy providing cover fire," Destro remarked. "Zartan?"
"Uh…" Zartan paused. "No."
"We didn't get the money either," Xamot realized.
"Which is really uncharacteristic of us you have to admit," Tomax added.
Zandar paused. "I still have the recipe for Captain Crispy's secret sauce."
"I'm only asking because we nothing better to talk about," Zarana sighed. "Why…?"
"I put it in my pocket because I thought it would come in useful someday," Zandar shrugged. "Maybe when Brad hit the big time and decided to diversify his portfolio…"
"Zandar…" Zartan stopped him. "You can stop playing in the Land of Make Believe now."
"Well you have to admit it's better than where we are," Zandar remarked.
"He's not wrong," Destro admitted. "So other than a stolen condiment recipe and some delusions of grandeur…We have nothing. We spent a whole week in Chicken Hell and we ended up with nothing!"
"In other words, we're dead broke!" The Baroness shouted. "And right back where we started from!"
"Not exactly," Zartan groaned. "Now we're even lower. Literally."
"Can't get much lower than this," Tomax groaned.
RRRRUMMMBLEEE!
"You just had to say that didn't you Brother?" Xamot groaned as the floor they were standing on crackled.
"This does not bode well," Destro groaned right before a huge hole opened up below them and they descended into the bowels of the underground.