Chapter 14: Madness Starts

A month later

Apollo did try to behave. He tried to regain favors. Zeus' secretary kept hanging up on him.

He should have thought of killing Psyche when he first had the chance when she was still mortal.

Yet again, the Olympians had been gathered for another meeting. Nemesis as well. For some reason, due to babysitter issues, Eros and Psyche wound up bringing their toddler child Hedone.

On full display on a screen, WEEKLY NARK pages were revealed. The biggest picture, the one that caused him to gain the worst glares from The Goddesses of Eternal Maidenhood, was the cover.

Apollo supervising his own demigod offspring, Asclepius, successfully reviving one of Apollo's Trojan priestesses. The headlines were merciless.

CONTROVERSIAL ACT! APOLLO BANGS HIS OWN PRIESTESS TO DEATH! ASCLEPIUS DEFIES THE UNDERWORLD! WHAT IS UP WITH ZEUS' SON?

"Is my cause a FUCKING JOKE TO YOU?" Artemis tossed a physical copy of the tabloid.

"First, you assault one of our candidates in your own sister's home!" Athena exclaimed. "NOW, we find out you messed with your own priestess!"

"The Priestess Protocols apply to your temples as well!" Hestia gritted her teeth. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking it wasn't going to be the end of Gaia if I gave a Trojan princess the gift of prophecy in exchange for the occasional…" Apollo started in defense.

"She was already born with it." Psyche waved a folder file of the mortal and presented it to Zeus. "As you asked, I kept an eye on Apollo. Perhaps if he took better care of his USB drives, Hephaestus and I wouldn't have found Kassandra's picture in it. Perhaps Aphrodite and Eros wouldn't have used their heat-sensing cannon to locate her."

"And THEN we find you having YOUR son resurrect her." Eros let his offspring play with a wooden arrow toy on his lap.

"Because YOU killed her!" Hestia fumed again. "Olympian wine! What were you thinking?"

"OK, I might have told Asclepius to revive her, but I DID NOT kill my own priestess!" Apollo's eyes glowed in gold.

"Geez, the tabloids say otherwise." Hermes pointed out at the screen.

"Photoshop!"

"Asclepius confessed in a Styx-oath interrogation that YOU approached him with the priestess' comatose body." Nemesis smiled widely. "YOU told him that you accidentally poisoned her and that you REALLY needed him to revive her. YOU threatened to hurt him if he didn't do as you said. YOU took a long bathroom break while he set up his procedure, then YOU came in, pretending to not know the situation but then still encouraging him to do so. Oh, and he also had a breakdown in the room. We know you coerced him to break all his doctor-patient confidentialities." The goddess of retribution then shuddered in actual disgust. "Your lack of confidential privacy and respect makes me sick."

"You're literally lacking respect to any of us right now," Hermes pointed out.

"That's because you're not my paying clients. I'm all for chaos due to retribution, but I don't go around gossiping about my clients' issues after we sign an agreement." Nemesis shrugged. "And you Olympians wonder why I get so many clients and Internet haters rise."

"What about the mortal?" Hera asked. "Is she alright?"

"Oh, she will NEVER be alright!" Nemesis flew over and snatched the file from Zeus. A paper document appeared before her and she placed it in the file. "Doctors evaluated her. The Olympian alcohol Apollo 'supposedly never gave her', is an absinthe of unusual IAC (Ichor Alcohol Concentration). Gods' IAC is fifty-times stronger than that of mortals. At best, one glass would have made her sick. Whatever absinthe Apollo gave her, its IAC capacity was triple of what we can handle. Thus tripling the chances to kill a mortal in one sip. Apollo might as well have given her a purposely powerful alcohol."

"But I don't even like absinthe!" Apollo defended himself. "Why would I give my own priestess a drink I don't like?"

"Probably because now that she's revived, Kassandra's received a side effect. The alcohol damaged her vocal senses tied to her gift of prophecy."

"Is the mortal going to recover?" Demeter asked, worried.

"She'll live." Nemesis tossed the folder before the Goddess of Harvest. "Except now, whatever she speaks related to her gift AND her honesty… I tried interrogating her and I don't believe a single word she says."

All the gods gasped.

"Oh, and the doctors also found her sexual history. Apollo's been coercing his priestess into sex for 20 years. Since she was a teenager."

So many gods had to restrain all the members of TGOEM.

"I don't get you." Ares shook his head at Apollo.

"What? Like you haven't done it before!" Apollo snarked.

"Bang with mortals? Totally. Not my own priests and priestesses, though. Besides, they all spike the heads of those who try to assault them." Ares rubbed his chin in thought. "Although… We all have thousands of priests and priestesses. All easily replaceable. Why revive that one in particular?"

"Kill Asclepius! Kill Asclepius!"

The gods looked in shock at the eager words of the clapping toddler on Eros' lap. Even her parents looked disturbed.

Along with his usual dislike of the couple for their interference, Apollo was repulsed by their offspring Hedone. Technically his grandniece, as his own half-brother Ares was her grandfather. The creature had inherited her previously mortal mother's brown skin and dark eyes, her divine father's curly pink hair, and light magenta wings on both parties. She was automatically born as the future goddess of hedonism and pleasure. Eros and Psyche loved her as if her existence wasn't a flaw. Aphrodite constantly gave her only divine grandchild the prettiest dresses. Hephaestus made his step-granddaughter so many toys. Eros' siblings constantly took turns babysitting her on weekends. Even Hera of all the relatives couldn't resist spoiling her.

For Ares, her biological grandfather, the toddler pleased him with her occasional, terrifying desires.

"That's my girl!" Ares scooped the toddler off his own son's grasp.

"Nuh, uh!" Eros quickly took his daughter back from Ares.

"Ironically, Eros Junior here isn't wrong," Nemesis pointed out. "Can we really blame Apollo? The real problem causer here is Asclepius."

"Excuse me?" Zeus looked angry.

"Think about it. Asclepius chose to fear his father, a lesser Olympian, over you, THE Olympian! And by reviving the priestess, he might give mortals the belief that they can contradict the Underworld. Last time I checked, immortality isn't a privilege for the mortals."

Demeter looked away, trying to hide her sorrowful expression.

"And who knows what else Asclepius might leak out to Apollo? What other vulnerable medical secrets might the God of Medicine spill to Olympus? Need I remind everyone of the 40s?"

Thunder crackled in the conference room. Zeus' eyes shined like a storm. Only Hedone was clapping.

Zeus calmed down in his wrath, sat upright on his throne, and put his hands together. "Asclepius threatened the Underworld. It is only fair that as the rulers of the same realm he challenged, Hades and Persephone find a fitting punishment for Asclepius."

Many gasped.

"Ooh!" Ares clasped. "NOW I gotta go down! I wanna see how badly Perse punishes the brat of the VERY SAME GOD WHO ASSAULTED HER IN HER BEST FRIEND'S HOUSE!"

"Want pony!" Hedone whined.

"Yes, sweetie. You will get a nice Pegasus." Zeus smiled at his great-granddaughter.

"You can't possibly get Asclepius punished by the Underworld!" Apollo stood up in self-defense. "With that petty grudge of theirs…"

"Uh, dude." Ares pointed across the room. Apollo saw Demeter sharpening a pitchfork.

"OK! Fine! You know what? This is bullshit!" Apollo waved his arms out. "Why do I get backlashed for MY stunts when nearly half of you got away with yours? I don't even recall Persephone being punished for her act of wrath!"

Demeter's eyes twitched. Hera's grips crushed the table edges.

"Alright…" Zeus gritted his teeth and stood up. "I am… THIS CLOSE… to stripping you… "

A red flash burst through the doors. Into the conference burst the teenaged Ludus and preteen Mania, children of Aphrodite and god and goddess of playful and obsessive love respectfully.

"Ludus! Mania! You can't come in!" Aphrodite tried to calm down her offspring.

"Mom! You gotta turn on the TV!" Ludus shook his mother by the shoulders.

"Kids, we're kind of busy…" Even Zeus wasn't spared by Mania roughly shaking his dress shirt.

"Turn on the TV, Grandpa! Turn on the TV! It's finally happening!" She screamed.

"Alright!" Zeus clicked the remote. The footage of Apollo's crime was replaced by a RUMORS AND LIES live footage of Plaza Terra, the biggest town square in all of Olympus. It was still midday, yet the square was filled with ten thousand people cheering their heads off over the rainbow-colored lights and music.

"Party! Party!" Hedone pointed at the ambience broadcasted on live television.

"What? You hosted a concert while you're being criticized?" Artemis sarcastically asked Apollo.

"Shut up!" Ludus and Mania both hissed.

Pheme and Dolos, in all their shameless fame, were being recorded before a crazy crowd.

"HELLO, Olympus! Welcome back to RUMORS AND LIES, where the rumor… IS OFFICIALLY A REALITY!" Pheme squealed at the camera. "The rumors were spreading, but they are now real! We can't even lie on the River Styx about it! It's a new phenomenon!"

"WE LOVE DIONYSUS!" Dozens of satyrs screeched, nearly shoving the hosts.

On screen, Dolos nervously dodged several unruly fans. "Speak of phenomenon! This crowd is 666-times larger than Apollo's!"

"Indeed! As nearly EVERYONE on Olympus but the Olympians yet knows, not one but TWO temples have been officially opened to the mortal public!" Pheme said. "First on Naxos, then in Crete! Mortal favors are piling, and now EVERYONE knows about the rising star of the Three Realms!"

"Not even a teenager and this kid is proving to be the biggest prodigy yet of our King's endless list of demigod bastards! He/She outranks his/her own celebrity demigod half-sibling Herakles, and officially just now, Apollo himself, on the polls of Zeus' most popular bastards!"

"WHAT?" Apollo's eyes glowed yellow. Everyone else, excluding Nemesis and the brats, gave Zeus an exasperated glare. The kind that said that they couldn't believe that yet again, one of Zeus' extramarital bastards was today's spotlight.

"Today only, Olympus' newest prodigal star is at the Plaza Terra!"

"He/She won't be there all day long! But this prodigy will show you just what they have to be considered the new IT kid! Get there fast!"

"The demigod of wine and ecstasy, Dionysus himself/herself!"

"And of madness and theater!"

"DIONYSUS JUST SIGNED MY T-SHIRT!" A nymph squealed in the background.

"DIONYSUS FOREVAH!"

"MOTHERFUCK-!" Dolos screamed until a large cyclops' butt landed on him.

The Olympians shuddered, feeling oddly sympathetic for the God of Lies.

"I'M GOING!" Ludus ran off.

Mania whacked him on the head, taking the lead. "NO WAY! I'm getting Dionysus' number before ya, you moron!"

Nemesis got up as well.

"Don't tell me…" Hermes snarked. "You're interested?"

"What can I say? Dionysus is a frequent customer of mine!" Nemesis then smirked at Demeter. "You should take example, Demi. Unlike you, Silenus actually came to my office with a decade's worth of his brat's stunts!"

Demeter scoffed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, you and Bolt over there ain't getting Parent-Of-The-Century awards anytime soon. I actually got Silenus the T-shirt for that!" Nemesis spread her wings, taunting Ludus and Mania. "So long, Olympian brats!"

…

Plaza Terra was usually the kind of town square that would get packed with many people just to go shopping or to work. Saturdays would get busier during weekly flea markets.

Everyone from the three realms was present. The Olympians almost got shoved by commoners just upon arrival. Multiple stands were set up, each with a variety of beverages. Centaurs kept walking around with barrels up their shoulders. Satyrs rammed their horns against some stacks and nymphs went on to lie down and let the liquids pour into their mouths. Cyclops went nuts on some herbal concoctions. Kids cheered and ran towards stands of root beer, ginger ale, and other non-alcoholic juices. Rocks got thrown at the nearby liquor store and the merchandise was robbed.

"MY PRODUCTS ARE GARBAGE!" The store owner joined in the vandalism. "I NEED REAL GOODS!"

"Back off! That's mine!" A nymph and a cyclops child used a helpless goat as a tug-of-war.

"HUZZAH!" The drunk adults cheered in unison.

Ares caught a Celt being tossed in the air and tossed the mortal back to the sender.

"I… LOVE THIS!" Ares cheered. "Bloody party in a public space!"

"I saw it first!" The kids kept whining over the goat.

"Alright, leave that poor animal alone!" Artemis took the poor animal away from the brats. They blew raspberries at her and ran off.

"Assyrtiko! Muscat! Debina!"

In the crowd, Zeus picked up the familiar voice.

Though they didn't talk much at the office, Zeus had been appreciative of the excellent coffees and thorough desk cleaning. He had his mortal gopher take Wednesdays off.

Zeus did not expect his M.A to be running a stand. A stand just by the fountain of Gaia. A stand, dare he imagine, happened to be the most crowded.

Without a blink, he cut the line.

"Hey!" A dozen drunk complainers shouted.

"Free mead from Valhalla! Check Boris!" Ganymede pointed at a distant stand. "Ya scram now, ya get a discount next week at Ganymede's Booze Garden. 20% off on Happy Hour!"

They all ran.

"Ganymede? Why are you here?" Zeus stood by the stand. "You have Wednesdays off."

"And Wednesdays, I go back to managing my bar at Nysa. Only one in the Greco-Roman pantheon." Ganymede wiped a small-sized glass clean and filled it halfway with ice cubes.

"So… you're familiar with this… Dionysus?" Zeus leaned in.

"Tragically, yes. Your offspring created the first ever alcohol empire in all this pantheon's mortal population." Ganymede frowned. "You haven't noticed that your offerings have tasted better than usual?"

Zeus paused, thinking of his employee's words.

Crossing off the bad memories of the past years, he did recall the few comments he'd been hearing. Gods feasting on sacrificed animals cooked in an unusually satisfying seasoning. Amphoras of grape juice dropped off at temples. Aphrodite's favors massively increasing when sexual tensions and orgies were increased due an… unusual rise of chaos, impulse… and depraved excitement. How did Zeus not notice any of this?

He knew he wasn't the ideal father to gods, but he was just about the worst with his own demigod offspring. Maybe Heracles got a bit of attention, but after Perseus had ascended to the stars…

"I think you'll like this Athiri." Ganymede only poured 4 tablespoons worth of a white wine into the glass. He then stirred in some sparkling water. "I apologize for diluting it a bit, but we can't really afford the King of the Gods getting drunk before a Friday night."

"I… don't think I'll be drinking right away."

"Oh, it's not to drink NOW! It's to drink AFTER what's bound to happen. And with the boss… Anything can happen." Ganymede searched a small box and pulled out a couple pills. "You might need to take some aspirin."

"I don't have a headache."

"Trust me. You'll need it, Lord Zeus."

Green and purple smoke exploded. As it cleared, hundreds of nymphs appeared in a circular formation. The crowd went chaotic in applause. Zeus frowned, puzzled by the appearances of these nymphs. He couldn't distinguish them from anthousa or dryads. All came in various shades of green, purple, and yellow. All had dark blue veins visible under their eyes, as if they were crying oxygen-lacking, yet red-colored veins went up their hands, as if they'd soaked their fingers in somebody's corpse. All dressed in black, the nymphs had at least one accessory featuring feline fur patterns, ivy tiaras, and staffs with silver headpieces shaped like pines.

Some spectators, if they weren't cheering, shrunk in the crowd.

"What are those?" Zeus asked.

"Maenads. Dionysus made them." Ganymede held up an aspiring pill. "You sure you don't want one now?"

The Maenads held their staffs up in the air. Large quantities of wine erupted from the grass, driving the crowds into a bigger ecstasy.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary friends!" A boy's voice pierced all the installed speakers. "Presenting your ruler of ecstasy, madness, and all things savage! Your influencer in theatrical comedy and drama! Your prodigal VIP! They call yours truly Androgynos, Braetes, Dendrites, Lyaeus, and Semeleios! The Romans call he/she Bacchus! EVERYONE, put your hands up for Dionysus, YOUR DEMIGOD OF WINE!"

Where the wine dried up on the ground, ivy sprouted. The Maenads made way for their demigod.

Zeus couldn't believe it.

The TV said NOTHING about the bastard in question being a child!

The child's chaotic nature made it impossible for Zeus to properly take in his… her… ITS characteristics!

The hazel skin and curls did seem familiar.

Wait…

"Uh… Doesn't 'Semeleios' mean…" Zeus hesitated.

"'Son of Semele'." Ganymede nodded. "The pill?"

"I'm going to need a prescription after this." Zeus took the aspirin pill.

…

Dionysus could sense the ecstasy going nuts. In his veins. In all the veins of all of Olympus.

His Maenads used their own hands to make a series of steps for him.

As much as it discomforted her, Dionysus strutted in black boots. Efficient for kicking off a fan that got too close. At least the leopard fur warmers on his leg and left wrist matched his outfit's furred collar lining. The wine manifested into a red tunic over black leggings and black gloves… which were mismatched due to Dionysus removing her left glove's fingers.

His horns were now a permanent feature following the… scene in Crete. On the bright side, the horns worked with the ivy tiara and choker.

Two temples. Nymphs he created all on his own. And Olympus went nuts for him.

"Dionysus! Sign my bottle!"

"Sign my poster!"

"Sign my face!"

"Can!" Dionysus signed the empty glass bottle. "Totally!" He included a grape doodle in his signature. "And let's do a selfie!" Dionysus warmed himself into a group selfie with some nymphs, one of them being the one who asked for a facial signature. "DM me on Fatesbook! That way I can EMAIL you my autograph on a JPEG of the selfie! Permanent marker's horrible for the skin!"

"OMG! DIONYSUS JUST TOOK A SELFIE WITH US AND GAVE ME A SKIN HEALTH TIP!"

Dionysus leapt and swung on a lamppost, sending a series of high-fives before she jumped, swung, and perched herself on the device.

Many whistled at her agility.

"DIONYSUS! YOU'RE THE COOLEST!"

"Try parkour, my friend! And if that doesn't work, ribbon dancing!"

"I JUST GOT P.E ADVICE FROM DIONYSUS! I NEED TO TELL MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST!"

They all chanted her name.

Their alcohol disgusted him.

"They're here," Pan said on his earbud.

"Thank you, Olympus! I can't wait to meet every single one of you!" Dionysus raised his arms out, earning a bigger cheer.

Dionysus noticed the Pharmakeia spear being thrown at his direction.

To the crowd, it looked like the demigod had stopped the weapon with the tip of his finger. To Dionysus, he saw the golden forcefield protecting him. Courtesy of Ariadne's pendant cautiously hidden on him.

Everyone turned to the weapon's sender.

Apollo glared at him.

Dionysus smiled. He clenched his fist, reducing the spear into golden ashes.

THAT did surprise the purple doodoo.

"Don't lose your shit like you always do. Stick with YOUR plan!"

"Well! I'm used to being hated by my half-siblings!" Dionysus jumped off the lamppost, the Maenads catching their creator. He reveled in their hisses. "Not gonna lie, I was hoping to get some trash talk from a popular half-sibling… Maybe Artemis or Ares… I REALLY expected my stepmother to kill me when I got here… Bummer."

"Well, public menaces need to be managed," Apollo stood his ground.

Dionysus titled her dead. "Public menace… Oh, but ALL children of Zeus are public menaces. Didn't you get the memo? They got the memo."

Snickers echoed in the crowd.

"Hey, now! Let's be nice!" Dionysus shushed the crowd. "He didn't get the memo! It happens! I didn't get the memo either… until I was three."

The crowd laughed even more.

"You don't seem to know which Olympian you're talking to… little brother."

"And you don't seem to know I don't care about respecting Olympians." Everything turned purple and green around the half-brothers. "I know who I talk to. But don't be too surprised. You're my least favorite Olympian… Number One, if it makes you feel better. Zeus was always my second least favorite…"

Dionysus floated to match Apollo's eye level.

He smiled at the god's angry golden eyes.

"You freak out too much! Lighten up! Get it?" Dionysus cackled, slightly slapping Apollo. The god's surprise was all he needed. "I'm kinda surprised you're purple. Shouldn't the Sun God be golden? Maybe it's for the best, then! You look ugly in your true form… From what I heard… Hey, if I cut your neck right now, would your ichor stand out or would it be invisible to the naked eye? I bet if I couldn't see you bleeding, I might think you're crazy!"

"You… are… ANNOYING!" Apollo aimed his fist at Dionysus.

The purple and green around them darkened. Yet again, the pendant protected him.

He actually heard Apollo's knuckles crack.

Ichor started to show on the purple knuckles.

"What…" Apollo stared at his knuckle, then at the demigod. "WHAT are you?"

"I think your biggest concern is what you're gonna tell the other Olympians." Dionysus pointed at the sky.

The colors faded. The crowd reappeared.

Gasping at the sight of Apollo's fist in the air…

The Maenads shrieked. Dionysus had fallen on the ground. A black mark coated her eye.

Dionysus gave her best hysterical scream.

"APOLLO TRIED TO KILL DIONYSUS!"

"HE PUNCHED HIS OWN HALF-SIBLING!"

"Wait! I didn't!" Apollo protested.

"Apollo!" Artemis yelled at her twin. Many Olympians rushed to the scene.

"Dio! What did he do?" Hestia picked up Dionysus in her arms.

"APOLLO TRIED TO KILL ME! HE CALLED ME A FREAK! HE PUNCHED ME!" Dionysus wailed.

Interlude for THE WORLD ACCORDING TO DIONYSUS

You're probably wondering what the heck happened. We just read about the siblings in this weird verbal brawl, and suddenly Apollo punched me?

Magic of madness, bitches!

See, besides driving people mad when drunk, I can also weaponize madness. Imagine your spirit being separated from your body for, like, 10 minutes. It enters this odd, subconscious zone that I can access by emitting ecstasy pheromones out of my skin. Without doing ANYTHING physically, I can do anything to that person's psyche.

It's not brainwashing, but the adults call it 'untethering'. Kinda like how you unplug a crucial cable on a TV and the whole device starts malfunctioning and hazards occur. A good example because I did it once: a charioteer is riding towards Athens. I struck him with madness. He believed he was being chased by bandits and raced as fast as he could. When he snapped back… He found out that he wasn't chased, but that he took the wrong turn and was now covered in pig poop.

In this situation, I messed with Apollo mentally for 10 minutes in his mind. In real life, only a couple seconds had passed, and the untethering of his spirit caused his body to physically attack me.

Back to the public scandal!

Resuming the story

Dionysus kept wailing. The Maenads got angry.

"Not a drill, people! Unless ya have immortality, GO HOME!"

The citizens made a run for it. Some satyrs and Cyclops worked together to keep the raving Maenads away from Apollo.

"Why does everyone think I punched that brat?" Apollo exclaimed.

"You just through a spear at him like you did at Eris!" Artemis whacked Apollo's head.

"Dionysus! Gaia, what the Tartarus is wrong with that god?" Demeter hissed. She checked on the demigod being coddled by Hestia. "How's his eye?"

"Needs ice." Hestia gave the demigod a warm hug. "Don't worry, little one. That meanie won't hurt you."

"I DIDN'T touch him!" Apollo exclaimed.

"Liar!" Dionysus wailed, tears staining Hestia's sleeves. "I'M GONNA TELL AUNTIE PERSEPHONE WHAT YOU DID TO ME, YOU PURPLE DOODOO!"

The Maenads quickly flipped from angry vipers to excited zombies.

"Alright, that's enough for you." Pan conveniently stepped out of his spot, using a spray bottle to shoo away the crazy nymphs. "Go back to the garden! Shoo! Show's over!"

The Maenads pouted.

"No, he's right!" Dionysus jumped off Hestia's hold. "Clearly, I'm not welcomed, so I'm going home. At least the Thracians are civilized… and those barbarians are our neighbors!"

"Did Silenus cover a ride back home for you?" Hestia ruffled both of the children's hair.

"Actually, we were going to meet with him at Uncle Hades and Auntie Persephone's house. Wednesdays are now dinner nights!" Dionysus said.

"Well, you can't be trusted into the streets right now. And I have things to bring over for Persephone." Hestia checked Dionysus' black eye. "Poor dear… Apollo, you should know better than to hit a child."

"But…" Apollo began.

"You WON'T hit a child anymore, right?" Hestia glared at the Sun God.

Dionysus pulled Pan and the two ducked behind the Goddess of The Hearth. The leaves on Dionysus became greener when she felt Hestia's fiery warmth protecting them.

Staging a brief, public lapse of madness for Apollo to physically harm Dionysus was the demigod's goal of the day. She'd expected the Olympians to come to her aid, not out of worry and concern, but because letting Apollo get away with such a thing would further damage the gods' images. Dionysus knew Hestia was nice, but not THAT nice!

Any Olympian present looked at Apollo with an obvious expectation.

All he could do was lower his head.

"Come on, little ones." Hestia took Dionysus' hand. "Along with ice for that eye, how about a quick treat?"

"Your brownies?" Pan licked his lips.

"Maybe," Hestia suggested.

Dionysus looked over her shoulder.

Apollo's expression was worth more than the Golden Touch.

Meanwhile

Atalanta shook the spray paint bottle one last time before squirting the red color onto the gray wall. At the same time, her bears chewed threw Apollo's cars and destroyed his garden. A bunch of wild goats had been released to eat through his furniture.

A muted purple satyr of her age trotted out of the house, his left leg prosthetic creating a metallic sound of hoof stomping. He waved a phone in one hand and a phone on the other. "Ganymede just texted. The bosses are being escorted to the Underworld by Hestia. Crowd's dispersed. The Olympians saw it."

"Did you take pictures of inside?" Atalanta asked.

"A lot of pics of his jackets." The satyr boy showed Atalanta his handiwork.

Atalanta whistled. "Wow. He's gonna be mad!"

"It gets better! We cracked his computer files open, printed his shit up, AND glued those pictures onto the wall RIGHT over his bed!"

Atalanta shuddered at the image. "What… How'd you do that on his bed?"

"Put a mannequin on his bed. Threw ichor-colored paint over it. The mannequin's silhouette's still on the sheets, but with the paint…"

"Yeah, yeah! Your sense of art is weird, Ampelos!" Atalanta shoved the phone back at him. "Take a pick of my mural and let's go!"

Ampelos freaked out at the sight of Atalanta's outdoor mural.

Apollo's disgraceful caricature coated the entirety of the house's front wall. The coup de grace was the large hashtag Atalanta had painted in red over the god's… lower areas.

"Good thing this is a burner phone…" Ampelos muttered, taking dozens of pictures. "What next?"

"Knowing the schedule, he still won't be back home for a while. You text the mural pic to the Weekly Nark, tell them that their anonymous sender was walking their dog when they saw this, and by the time we're back in Nysa, the Olympian and Underworld press will be mobbing by the time Apollo comes back from his archery therapy." Atalanta squealed, quickly shifting to a nasty giggle. "And then we anonymously text all the other pictures to the other pantheons! I just LOVE IT when misogynists get their comeuppance!"

"Yeah, but let's not brag about it all the way to Asgard…" Ampelos said.

"Alright, everyone! Let's go!" Atalanta and her band of Nysaen vandalizing youth made a run for it. "We'll celebrate at Ganymede's!"