We Four Cobra Commanders
"RARRR!"
A brown dinosaur roared as it ran down the hallway. Then it screamed as it was squashed by a large boot.
"Ugh," Zartan winced as he looked at his boot. "This is going to be hard to come out. I mean my boots are scotch guarded so the blood won't be a problem. But getting the guts out of the treads is always a pain."
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
"Only Cobra has to deal with a tiny dinosaur infestation," Destro grumbled as he blew up some small dinosaurs. "And by tiny I mean the actual size of these prehistoric pests."
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
"Yes, because now we have to eradicate over a hundred of these blasted things," The Baroness grumbled. "Thanks a lot, Zartan!"
"Don't blame me!" Zartan snapped. "Blame the Dreadnoks and the hole in the wall they made yesterday!"
"I do blame you because they're your Dreadnoks!" The Baroness snapped.
"And the dinosaurs are technically Mindbender's!" Zartan snapped as he shot another one. "Plus, I would have been supervising the Dreadnoks if it wasn't for Cobra Commander's stupid plan!"
"Not to mention it was technically the Crimson Twits' fault for letting that happen in the first place," Zarana added as she shot another small dinosaur. "It was their job to watch the base!"
"She has a point," Destro admitted. "Where are those two again? Dungeon or Mindbender's lab?"
"We locked them in the Dreadnoks' room," The Baroness explained. "We figured let the punishment fit the crime."
Meanwhile…
"Let us out! LET US OUT!" The Crimson Twins banged against the door of the room.
"The smell is…" Xamot winced.
"God awful," Tomax moaned. He did a double take. "Did that shirt just move by itself?"
"Either that or it's some kind of animal," Xamot blinked. "Or mutated life form. AAAAHHH!"
"LET US OUT OF HERE!" The Twins screamed as they pounded on the door.
Back to the others…
"Stupid bloody lizards," Zarana grumbled as she and her twin brother shot some more. "Can't even make a decent belt out of them."
"No, but apparently they're a good snack," Zandar pointed.
Blood Wing was finishing up draining a dinosaur. "Oh there's an image that will keep me up at night," The Baroness groaned.
"What are you complaining about?" Blood Wing grinned as he threw the carcass away. "These things are delicious!"
"Is that the last of these rambunctious reptiles?" Destro grumbled.
ZAPP!
"It is now," Zandar remarked after he shot one. "Is everyone all right?"
"Does anyone really care?" Zartan quipped. "I'm seriously asking."
"Yeah, if Cobra Commander and everyone else bought it I'd have no thoughts about jumping ship and starting over," Zarana agreed. "Honestly at this point I'm starting to think about a career in makeup. You know? Making up actors or celebrities? Then starting my own line."
"I can see that," Zartan remarked. "I'd go into showbusiness too. Maybe do some stunt work? Can't be half as hazardous as our lives."
"I'd go into production," Zandar spoke up. "Become a producer of movies. Handle the financial side of things."
"That is where the money is," Zartan realized.
"Where is Cobra Commander?" The Baroness asked. "I haven't seen him all day."
"I haven't seen Mindbender either," Destro admitted. "It's been rather quiet actually. Well apart from the mini dinosaur attack."
"Still quieter," Blood Wing shrugged. "And tastier."
"At least he's contributing," Zartan said to the others.
"I swear I must have eaten at least twelve of these suckers," Blood Wing added. "I hope they're not fattening."
"Just as long as you didn't make any of them some kind of vampire turkey hybrid!" Destro warned.
"Of course not!" Blood Wing scoffed. "That would be weird."
"Yeah, and our lives are oh so normal," Zarana groaned.
"Hey everyone," Wild Weasel walked up to them. "The spaceship is missing."
"Anyone else that statement would sound completely strange," Destro sighed. "I see your point Zartan."
"At this point I would change to almost any career," The Baroness admitted. "Not retail or education obviously."
"Obviously," Destro nodded.
"Oh God no," Zarana shuddered at the same time.
"Talk about those careers being dead ends," Zartan agreed.
"I hear the real estate market isn't bad," Zandar spoke up.
"It's a good field," Blood Wing agreed.
"I'm starting to think we did those teenage clones a favor when we dumped them," Zarana remarked. "Well, the ones that are still alive."
"I'd go back into arms sales but honestly," Destro sighed. "I'm not so sure I want to do that anymore."
"What about voice announcer?" Zandar asked.
"I have to admit," The Baroness remarked. "Your voice does have a certain gravitas."
"That is something you would be good at," Zarana agreed. "I mean the guy who announces all those movies must be making a fortune."
"I could do that easy," Destro blinked.
"I could be a soap opera actor," Blood Wing preened. "I mean thanks to this amulet I no longer have feathers in daylight so…"
"EXCUSE ME?" Wild Weasel shouted. "HELLO? THE SPACESHIP IS GONE! AND SO ARE COBRA COMMANDER AND MINDBENDER!"
"Oh, if only it was permanent," Destro sighed. "Fine let's check the hangar."
They heard a noise as they got close to the hanger. "Oh look…" Destro sighed. "The spaceship has returned. Shame."
"You got our hopes up for nothing!" Zarana glared at Wild Weasel. "Thanks a lot, Wild Weasel!"
"Commander," Destro remarked as he disembarked the spaceship with Mindbender. "Where have you been?"
"Do you really care Destro?" Cobra Commander snapped. "Or are you just making conversation?"
"Do you really care about that answer?" Blood Wing quipped.
"Where were you, Commander?" The Baroness asked. "What scheme have you come up with now?"
"First of all," Cobra Commander glared at them. "You know I check out Villain Vibe almost daily for new recruits, don't you?"
"We do now," Destro blinked.
"Uh oh," Zartan blinked.
"Yeah, that's what I thought!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Lucky for me I found a resource better than you traitors! Come out guys!"
Three more Cobra Commanders emerged from the ship. "So this is your dimension?" One Cobra Commander in red remarked. "I am not impressed."
"Yeah, well I've been meaning to upgrade to a better place," Cobra Commander admitted. "Plus, it's infested with mutants and Dreadnoks."
"That's bound to bring down the value to any base," A Cobra Commander remarked.
"What the devil?" Destro did a double take.
"Oh God no…" The Baroness groaned. "Commander what have you done?"
"I used the interdimensional portal on the spaceship to go to the dimensions where I rule the world," Cobra Commander explained.
"All three of them," Mindbender added.
"SHUT UP!" The Cobra Commanders shouted.
"Great. One was bad enough," Zarana whispered to her brothers.
"Now we have it in surround sound," Zandar agreed as he whispered back.
"I thought that interdimensional portal thing was broken?" Zartan spoke up. "That's why we haven't been travelling to other dimensions lately."
"It wasn't," The Baroness corrected him. "We just gave up."
"We broke a lot of other dimensions…" Mindbender paused.
"Oh right," Zartan realized. "I remember now."
"Okay this is Emperor Cobra," Cobra Commander pointed to a Cobra Commander in a gold uniform and mask with an Egyptian themed crown. "He practically rules the entire world!"
"Not the entire world," Emperor Cobra admitted. "I deliberately left Australia and its colonies alone. Prime Minister Zarana and I have an agreement to fake hostilities so we can build up our budgets for fake wars. And the state of California is now the separate country of California. I was not going to touch that train wreck with a ten-foot pole!"
"Wow, I'm a prime minister," Zarana whistled.
"You only got the job because your predecessor Zartan got caught in a weird sex scandal," Emperor Cobra told her. "Involving a Dreadnok and a giraffe. The giraffe was less embarrassing."
"Yikes," Zartan winced.
"This is King Cobra," Cobra Commander pointed to a version of himself but in a red uniform. "In his dimension Cobra rules half the world and is greatly respected!"
"Again, I deliberately left some countries alone," King Cobra explained. "King Destro rules Great Scotland. The Empress rules what used to be the Soviet Union. Emperor Storm Shadow rules half of Asia. And some former actor named Gary Busey runs California."
"Little tip," Emperor Cobra spoke up. "Try not to incorporate California in your empire if you can help it."
"Good to know," Cobra Commander nodded.
"What about Australia?" Zartan asked.
"That is a Dreadnok preserve," King Cobra said. "Don't worry. We safely relocated all the sane Australians to other parts of the world. All three hundred of them."
"That many?" Zartan blinked. "Wow."
"Oh, big deal!" A Cobra Commander wearing his blue and silver 90's uniform with purple splotches on it shouted. "I'm the ruler of my entire planet in my dimension!"
"Only by default," King Cobra snapped. "This is Commander Cobra. Yes, his name is the same as your leader's only backwards. Real original."
"Oh yeah and King Cobra and Emperor Cobra are so groundbreaking," Commander Cobra sneered.
Emperor Cobra explained. "This idiot irradiated and mutated his entire planet and all his troops! He's the only person left!"
"Not all of them!" Commander Cobra shouted. "I think there are some Dreadnoks living in California."
"What are those purple splotches on your uniform?" The Baroness pointed.
"Grape jelly," Commander Cobra admitted. "I had a little incident and I'm still trying to figure out how to work the washing machine."
"Why did we bring him?" Emperor Cobra asked.
"I felt bad for the guy," Cobra Commander admitted. "And he is technically ruler of his world. It counts!"
"Barely," King Cobra grumbled.
Some screaming was heard. "Oh, what fresh Hell is going on now?" Destro groaned.
The Crimson Twins ran by the hangar. Something was on their backs. "Get it off! GET IT OFF!" They screamed.
"What kind of mutant was that?" Zartan asked.
"It looked like a sweater," Mindbender blinked.
"It's obviously not a sweater," Destro rolled his eyes.
"I didn't say it was a sweater," Mindbender snapped. "I just said it looked like one!"
"What kind of mutant looks like a sweater?" Zartan asked.
"Maybe it's some kind of long-haired cat thing?" The Baroness asked.
"Since when do cats look like sweaters?" Zartan asked.
"Well, what do you think it is?" The Baroness snapped.
"I don't know," Zartan blinked. "But whatever it is, I'm pretty sure I saw it in the corner of the Dreadnoks' room."
Cobra Commander looked at his counterparts. "You see why I called for backup right?"
"Oh yeah. Definitely. Preaching to the choir," The other Cobra Commanders remarked.
"Pretty pathetic group you've got here," Emperor Cobra remarked. "Compared to our organizations."
"I wouldn't be so smug," Cobra Commander snapped. "You three were the only successful Commanders I could find in an infinite number of universes."
"I see your definition of successful is rather broad," King Cobra looked at Commander Cobra. "But I see your point."
"At least you have a trans-dimensional starship," Emperor Cobra added. "It's a bit too derivative of Rick and Morty for my tastes but it's a step up."
"How exactly does it work again?" Commander Cobra spoke up. "In great detail? Maybe you could show us some blueprints or something?"
"Oh, this will not backfire in your face at all," Destro said sarcastically to Cobra Commander.
"Shut up!" Cobra Commander snapped. "You lot take our esteemed guests to our VIP room while I take Wild Weasel to bring refreshments."
"We have a VIP room?" The Baroness asked.
"Yes! Remember?" Cobra Commander snapped. "It's not far from the hangar in the south wing!"
"Isn't there a hole in there?" Zartan asked. "Made by the Dreadnoks the other day when they were doing their mutant dinosaur rodeo?"
"Oh right," Cobra Commander sighed. "Fine, take them to the conference room!"
"That is where you do some of your best drinking," Blood Wing remarked.
"Kidding. That's Blood Wing our resident vampire," Cobra Commander told the others. "Always joking. In fact you come with us too!"
He dragged them off. Destro looked at the others. "So…Shall we move to the conference room?"
"Okay what's the real deal with this Cobra Commander?" King Cobra asked the others. "What's wrong with him?"
"You picked that up immediately, didn't you?" Destro remarked.
"We've seen a few other dimensions," King Cobra told him. "We've noticed a pattern."
"You don't become ruler of your dimension by not recognizing the flaws within yourself before you see the flaws in others," Emperor Cobra explained. "That's actually from my best seller, Everybody Wants To Rule The World, I Actually Did."
"You actually wrote a book?" The Baroness asked. "Instead of burning one?"
"This is going to be as bad as Commander Cobra isn't it?" King Cobra groaned.
"HEY!" Commander Cobra snapped.
"To be fair he's had his moments," Destro sighed. "A few of them. Not all of them great."
About ten minutes later in the conference room.
"Let me get this straight," Emperor Cobra paused. "This version of Cobra Commander spends most of his time drinking, partying, randomly blowing up buildings and cities all over the world, causing pointless mayhem and killing celebrities?"
"And robbing them," Zartan added. "Oh and we also TP'd the Avenger's building too."
Emperor Cobra paused. "That sounds like a lot of fun actually."
"Yeah," King Cobra paused. "I mean clearly this Cobra Commander is the Charlie Sheen version of us but…"
"I can't remember the last time I just blew something up for the fun of it," Emperor Cobra sighed.
"I can't remember the last time I killed someone," King Cobra added. "It's been over a year since I've even seen an execution in person! I mean we have it on pay per view in my dimension but still…"
"I killed a scorpion last week," Commander Cobra added weakly.
"I'm amazed you actually talked to us instead of ordering us," Destro blinked.
"Rule Number 12 in my book," Emperor Cobra explained. "If you want to know the real scoop, talk to your troop."
"I gotta write this down for my book," Commander Cobra remarked.
"What book?" King Cobra asked. "How to be a Complete And Total Embarrassment?"
"All right!" Cobra Commander called out as he led Wild Weasel and Blood Wing in with bar trays full of drinks. "Let's get this party started!"
"Speaking of which," Destro grumbled under his breath.
"I'll take one!" Commander Cobra practically ran over to the drinks. He removed his helmet to reveal a human man face and started chugging the drinks.
Everyone stared at him. "What?" Commander Cobra blinked.
"You're…human?" King Cobra asked.
"Yeah…" Commander Cobra looked at the others. "I used to be a used car salesman. You guys aren't?"
"Uh no," Emperor Cobra told him.
"I'm from an advanced civilization of serpent people," Cobra Commander remarked. "Who sent me out to conquer the world."
"Me too," King Cobra added. "Well technically I was banished but I took over the planet just to spite the jerks. And my ex-wife."
"Pythona?" Emperor Cobra and Cobra Commander asked.
"Oh yeah," King Cobra nodded.
"Were any of you mutated by your own experiments?" Cobra Commander asked.
"I was," Emperor Cobra admitted.
"I wasn't," King Cobra admitted. "I mean I mutated half of Cobra La by accident with my experiments…"
"And that led to you being banished?" Destro asked.
"That and the fact that I ticked off my father-in-law who was a senator," King Cobra sighed. "Long story. Hey I wasn't even two hundred then! Kids make mistakes!"
"So I'm the only human?" Commander Cobra asked.
"Apparently," Destro told him.
"That explains a lot," King Cobra said to the others.
"Cards on the table here," Cobra Commander removed his helmet revealing his Cobra La face and two sets of eyes.
"That's not so bad," King Cobra removed his helmet revealing a regular Cobra La face.
"Well, I got mutated like three or four times," Cobra Commander admitted. "This version is the best of the lot."
Emperor Cobra removed his helmet to reveal a gold snake face with four sets of eyes. "Can't argue with that."
"This organization just gets weirder and weirder…" Zartan groaned.
Twenty minutes and several rounds of drinks later…
And yes their helmets were still off so they could drink better…
"Then I took a bunch of European bankers and threw them overboard," Cobra Commander said proudly. "Killed a few and blew up their boat."
"No!" King Cobra gasped.
"Just for the fun of seeing the terror on their smug little faces," Cobra Commander cackled. "I did the same thing to a popular boy band. On live TV! And I crashed one of those video MTV styled party shows and blew up the beach."
"Well, that's one way to bring in the youth," King Cobra remarked. "Why can't my marketing department come up with something like that?"
"What is happening?" Destro blinked.
"I also crashed one of those D List celebrity shows and murdered almost all the people there," Cobra Commander added. "And I blew up a few A list celebrity homes."
"That's one way to stay relevant," Emperor Cobra admitted.
"You know a couple of days in this reality can't hurt?" King Cobra said to the others.
"I'm not in a rush to go back to mine," Commander Cobra moaned as he drank.
"I could use a vacation," Emperor Cobra admitted.
"Let's pull off a crazy heist," Cobra Commander said. "Something wild and fun to get the public talking."
"You just burned down several celebrity homes and killed a bunch of C-List celebrities," Destro blinked. "Don't you think people are talking enough?"
"That was just a lark," Cobra Commander waved. "A little practice to keep our skills sharp."
"Serpents I can't remember the last time I actually killed someone in person," King Cobra admitted. "I mean I sign a lot of execution slips but I never get to kill people anymore."
"I don't have people to kill anymore," Commander Cobra groaned.
"Okay so we need to go on a rampage where people will pay attention," Cobra Commander paused. "But also make it fun. Hmm…."
"RARRR!"
"Oh, for crying out…" Destro groaned. "Don't tell me more dinosaurs are running amok in our base!"
"Okay I won't tell you," Zandar remarked as he looked at the monitors.
"Oh! I've got it!" Cobra Commander realized. "Zartan! I need your Dreadnoks to round up some of those dinosaurs and put them in the cargo hold of the spaceship!"
"Why?" Zartan asked.
A few hours later…
Bern, Switzerland. At the International Banking Conference.
"RARRRR!"
"AAAAAAHHH!"
Several high-ranking bankers ran for their lives from the rampaging dinosaurs in the large conference room.
Meanwhile the Cobra Commanders laughed their heads off watching the chaos at a large banquet table. "YES! RUN! RUN YOU FOOLS!" Cobra Commander laughed. "RUN FROM THE MIGHT OF COBRA!"
"Wow!" Commander Cobra laughed. "Its great not being on the receiving end of rampaging lizards for a change!"
"Now this is a caper!" Emperor Cobra laughed.
"It's so much more fun to terrorize bankers than to listen to them lecture about the economy," King Cobra laughed as he took a drink through his helmet. "Oh, this takes me back to the old days!"
"Are you buzzed?" Emperor Cobra asked. "Lords of the Underworld I never get buzzed anymore."
"I think it's this Swiss wine," King Cobra remarked. "It's more potent than I remember."
"AAAAHHH!"
"RARRRR!"
"Wow," King Cobra remarked. "That one dinosaur swallowed that one banker whole! Didn't even chew!"
"That is not a good way to go," Commander Cobra remarked. "Or to spend an afternoon. Don't ask. Long story. Let's just say it was lucky I was carrying my laser knife that day."
"Are you finished?" Destro asked as the other Cobras walked up to them.
"With the drinks?" Cobra Commander threw an empty bottle away. "Apparently. I could have sworn there would have been more alcohol at this thing."
"Bankers are a notoriously sober lot," Emperor Cobra admitted. "But they do fool around quite a bit."
"How did it go with the looting?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Like my last date with Destro," The Baroness quipped. "Disappointing."
"Barely a sack's worth of money," Zartan remarked. "There was a safe in the back."
"You know for a bunch of banking guys they didn't have as much money as I thought," Torch grumbled.
"Eh that's fine," Cobra Commander waved. "We're here for the show."
"RAARRRR!"
"AAAAAHH!"
"And what a show!" Emperor Cobra laughed. "This gives me some good ideas for our new pay for view executions!"
"RARRR!"
"I believe now would be a prudent time to depart, Cobra Commanders…" Destro remarked. "Before we are torn apart by those hungry reptiles."
"AAAHHHH!"
"RARRRR!"
"That might not be the worst suggestion you have ever made, Destro," Cobra Commander admitted.
"Should we round up the dinosaurs?" Buzzer asked.
"Leave 'em," Cobra Commander waved as they left. "We have tons of them back on the island anyway. Let's go! This world tour is just getting started!"
"I was afraid of that," Destro sighed.
"Cue the montage of destruction!" Torch shouted cheerfully.
Munich, Germany…
The Cobra Commanders were at a bar drinking and having a good time.
A few minutes later the bar was on fire.
"Wow," Torch blinked as he watched the blaze. "A fire I didn't even start!"
"My bad," Commander Cobra hiccupped. "Should not have doused that candle with that 90-proof schnapps."
Madrid, Spain…
The Cobra Commanders cackled as they stole jewels from a museum while the Dreadnoks tagged the art and walls with graffiti. COBRA! DREADNOKS RULE! TORCH WAS HERE!
Paris, France…
The Cobra Commanders were mooning the city on top of the Eifel Tower. Along with some Dreadnoks. Destro was standing by the side looking embarrassed.
Disneyworld, France…
The Cobra Commanders chased a man dressed as Donald Duck with a flamethrower through the streets.
Shortly after several rides were set on fire.
But not after Cobra Commander had gotten several pictures. The Cobra Commanders on the teacup ride. The Cobra Commanders on a roller coaster. A picture of the Cobra Commanders going down Splash Mountain. Then Space Mountain. The Cobras trashing the It's A Small World ride. The Cobra Commanders posing with Mickey Ears. Mindbender posing with Mickey Ears sitting on top of a charred Donald Duck.
Tuscany, Italy…
The Cobra Commanders ran from a winery carrying lots of alcohol. And the Dreadnoks were carrying some crates.
Cairo, Egypt…
The Cobra Commanders ran through a crowded marketplace as they were chased by several police officers. They were carrying jewelry and other items.
Africa, the Serengeti…
The Cobras sat by the spaceship and watched the wildlife in front of them.
"AAAAAHHH!"
And Commander Cobra being chased by a lion.
"Uhh…." Cobra Commander began.
"I'll get him," Zartan sighed. "Come on Dreadnoks…" He and the Dreadnoks got up to help.
"Don't hurt the lion!" Cobra Commander shouted. "It can't help itself!"
"Plus…" King Cobra remarked. "I have an idea."
Rome, Italy…
"AAAAHHHH!" Tourists ran for their lives in the ruins of the Coliseum as they were chased by some lions.
"Bringing back some actual lions to the actual Coliseum," Destro remarked as the Cobras watched the carnage. "It is quite amusing."
"This is fun," Cobra Commander grinned. "Great work helping us, Commander Cobra."
Commander Cobra was to the side all bandaged up. "Yay. Now can we stop at a pharmacy or something? So, I can get some actual drugs to numb the pain that is my existence? And the lion scratches?"
"Oh, why didn't you say so in the first place?" Mindbender asked as he pulled out a small dart gun. He shot Commander Cobra a few times.
"Thank you…" Commander Cobra warbled before he passed out.
Later at Cobra Island…
"Now that was fun," Cobra Commander said to the others as they sat outside on a large terrace. They were sitting around a medium sized table laden with drinks.
"It's been so long since I actually relaxed," Emperor Cobra remarked. "This was fun!"
"I get now why you do what you do," King Cobra admitted. "And why it's taken so long for you to take over the Earth in this dimension."
"To be fair the fools under me share most of the blame," Cobra Commander pointed out. "I mean I'd kill them all but there's a hiring shortage lately…"
"As long as there's no shortage of drugs," Commander Cobra warbled. "Sweet, sweet lovely drugs to take all my pain away." He took out a dart gun and shot himself in the leg. "Oooh! Nice!"
"Uh…" Cobra Commander looked at Commander Cobra. "I'd slow down if I were you. Mindbender's stuff can have a good punch if you're not used to it."
"What? I had a Mindbender…Once…" Commander Cobra warbled. "I think he got eaten by one of his own experiments."
"That's how I think mine will go," King Cobra remarked.
"Me too," Cobra Commander nodded.
"Mine was actually eaten by his own experiments," Emperor Cobra added. "Over a long weekend holiday. Nobody figured it out until Monday. He was pretty hard to replace. I went through at least five other top scientists before I got a new guy. Well technically the experiments went through the scientists. And then the scientists went through their digestive systems."
"This has been good," Cobra Commander remarked. "I needed this. I needed to hang around my peers of equal intelligence."
"La, la, la…" Commander Cobra warbled. "I'm a happy rainbow pig!"
"Well two of you anyway," Cobra Commander sighed. "It's just fun to relax out here on my balcony. I wonder why I haven't done this more often?"
"That railing looks awfully low," King Cobra pointed. "That looks like a safety issue."
"I feel like dancing!" Commander Cobra got up and started to twirl around.
"Uh…Stop that…Watch out you fool!" The other Cobra Commander warned.
But it was too late. Commander Cobra got too close to the railing and fell over. "AAAAAAAAHHH!"
"I warned him," Cobra Commander sighed as they went to look.
"You did," King Cobra nodded. "Told you that you had a safety issue."
Destro, The Baroness, Zartan and Zarana ran over. "What happened?" Destro asked. "We heard screaming."
Cobra Commander pointed over the rail. "Oh…" Destro looked down. "I'm not cleaning that up!"
"Is that…" The Baroness asked.
"Commander Cobra. He's dead," Emperor Cobra remarked.
"Honestly it's a relief," Cobra Commander shrugged. "A mercy death if you think about it."
"Agreed," King Cobra nodded. "He would have wanted it that way."
"Speaking of wanting things…" Emperor Cobra looked at King Cobra. Then they both pulled their blasters on Cobra Commander and his team. "We're taking your spaceship."
"As much fun as you are," King Cobra remarked. "It would be a waste of potential to leave such valuable technology in your hands."
"WHAT?" Cobra Commander screeched.
"Gee your versions of yourself are double crossing you," Destro looked at Cobra Commander. "Who could have seen that coming?"
"Don't have to be Crystal Ball to know that!" Zartan added. "Where is that guy anyway?"
In another part of the base…
"Okay dude," Torch put Crystal Ball into a crate. "I'll put you in for the Fed Express!" The other Dreadnoks were there as well.
"Thanks Torch!" Crystal Ball said cheerfully. "I am out of here!"
"Hey if it's a halfway decent place will you send for us?" Ripper asked.
"Depends on how much room they have," Crystal Ball admitted. "I'll send you a postcard."
Back to the current crisis…
"Who cares where Crystal Ball is?" Cobra Commander shouted. "We have bigger problems here! They're planning on taking the spaceship and taking over this dimension!"
"No, you can have this dimension," King Cobra told him. "Honestly we have better ones."
"We already put the work in so…" Emperor Cobra shrugged.
"Just a quick question," Zarana spoke up. "Which one of you will be taking over the spaceship exactly? Who's in charge?"
"Me of course!" Both King Cobra and Emperor Cobra said at the same time. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU?"
"I am the one who had the genius idea of commandeering this spaceship!" Emperor Cobra snapped.
"No, I told you about it!" King Cobra snapped. "You stole that idea from me!"
"Well which one of you is the better leader?" Zartan asked.
"I AM!" Both King Cobra and Emperor Cobra shouted. "NO, YOU'RE NOT! IT'S ME! ME! ME! I'M TAKING THIS SPACESHIP! OVER MY DEAD BODY!"
ZAPP! ZAPP!
"Damn it," Both King Cobra and Emperor Cobra grumbled before they staggered back. Then both fell over the railings. "AAAAAHHHH!"
"Okay now I remember why I don't come out here that often," Cobra Commander remarked. "Safety issue."
"I am definitely not cleaning that up," Destro remarked as he looked over the railing.
"They killed each other because of their ego," The Baroness remarked. "Well played Zarana"
"I knew that would work," Zarana remarked.
"It was rather predictable now that I think about it," Destro admitted.
"I should have known. Okay so…" Cobra Commander paused. "We go to their realities and rule them while stockpiling weapons and stuff to take over this reality?"
Destro blinked. "That sounds…Plausible."
"Just skip over Commander Cobra's dimension," The Baroness suggested.
"Good idea," Cobra Commander nodded.