Chapter 14: Disillusioned
"The sour look doesn't suit you at all." Asuma said one morning, after sneaking inside Kurenai's apartment through an opened window. Asuma knows her enough to figure out that she was displeased about something. "Did you get a mission?" He asked.
"Is it that obvious?" Kurenai said and sighed. "Izumo and Kotetsu, you know how they are-they're always together. So the two are going to be sent on a mission, and my team is stuck greeting the people who enters or exits the village." Kurenai complained, while moving around the kitchen to make two cups of tea.
"But you never know if that C-mission might turn into an A, or B rank." Asuma chuckled.
"Asuma, we both know that's unlikely. And I have to be there with my team, every day this week, on a five hour morning shift." She said bitterly.
"And how does your team feel about this?" Asuma noticed Kurenai's expression finally lost her anger and got replaced with an endearing smile.
"They're excited." She said. "I just don't get them sometimes. Is it just the rank that excites them? I mean it's their first C-mission after all."
"Yeah, that must be it." Asuma replied. "Izumo and Kotetsu, huh. Do you think they're, you know, together?" Kurenai covered her mouth and laughed.
"I wouldn't be surprise if they are more than just best friends." She replied.
Located right before the gates, was a wooden booth of some sort, with a long rectangular desk and several chairs. Team 8 stood before Izumo and Kotetsu. Kotetsu had long, dark spiky hair that nearly reached his shoulder. For reasons the genins didn't understand, Kotetsu had a strip of bandage that stretched around his face and across the bridge of his nose. He had a small beard on his chin. He carried two big weapons behind his back. He seemed like the cheery and relaxed guy out of the two, who spoke in a chill manner as he explained to team 8 what the job basically entailed them to do.
"You pretty much sit there all day, with a piece of paper to document who goes in and out. The paper has to be handed to the Hokage every day after the end of your shift." Kotetsu explained.
"Kotetsu, we both know we don't just sit. We keep our senses entirely heighten in the event someone tries to walk in by us. We've caught a lot of idiots trying genin level Genjutsu on us, and also A-ranks Genjutsu. We've also caught people trying to walk in while under a transformation technique. So keep your eyes and senses sharp. Pay attention to details and you'll do fine." Izumo said.
Izumo seemed to balance out Kotetsu, since he was the responsible one out of the two. He had brown hair with a side bang which swept across to cover his dark eyes. His forehead protector also worked as a bandanna which was a dark blue color.
"Hello, if you haven't noticed, you're standing in front of an Inuzuka right now. Team 8 is definitely right for this job, right Akamaru?" Kiba said, as Akamaru barked while drooped over his head.
"Not just an Inuzuka, but also an Aburame and a Hyuga, to add to his point." Shino said, stoically.
"K-Kurenai-sensei is a Genjutsu master…s-so we'll keep the village s-safe." Hinata added.
Kotetsu grinned, almost idiotically, compared to the slight smile Izumo had. They both nodded to Kurenai and walked off through the gates, to go off on a mission.
"Wait." Shino said. He used his bugs to block their paths. "You two need to sign in the log stating you're exiting the village." The Aburame genin grabbed the slip and a pen, and handed it to Izumo, the more responsible one.
"Ah, right, sometimes we forget we're not exempted from this." He replied as he signed in both of their names, and handed it back to Shino.
"You better come back alive or I might take your job!" Kiba yelled after the two disappearing adults. Kotetsu raised his arm slightly in the air, and waved without turning around.
Kotetsu chuckled to himself, thinking back to what Izumo had said to those kids.
"You know Izumo, you didn't have to lie to them." Kotetsu said. "We don't really catch many people sneaking inside. That's a rare occurrence." He then started laughing. "But I get why you did it, genins are so adorable and hopeless. It makes you wanna mess with them before they grow up."
Izumo merely shrugged his shoulder as he kept his eyes ahead while they moved quickly through the forest. "I only did it to make you smile." Izumo said, plainly. He could hear Kotetsu almost miss his footing on a tree, prompting Izumo to smile.
It was 7am, when team 8 genins let out a yawn in unison. But it didn't stop Kiba from being overly cheerful, while Akamaru took a nap on his head.
"This is so cool! I hope we catch a lot of bad guys trying to slip through!" Kiba said, as he sat behind the desk, while fidgeting around uncontrollably. He wasn't used to sitting around for too long.
"Be careful what you wish for, Kiba. I prefer if we don't experience that just yet. We're a tracking team, remember that." Kurenai warned him, while sitting next to him. She chuckled softly because it was thanks to Izumo that Kiba was this excited. She didn't mind him messing with her genins. She smiled to herself.
"I'm so sleepy…" Hinata said as she let out a yawn. "Byakugan…" She yawned out while surveying the area. "T-There doesn't seem to be anything suspicious around." The veins around her eyes subsided as her eyes reverted back to normal.
"What do you think would be the perfect time of day to perform an assault?" Kiba wondered out loud.
"I would do a sneak assault at nighttime if I were a missing Nin." Shino said. Both boys looked at Hinata, and waited for her input.
"Um…I-I don't know." She replied.
Kurenai remained quiet as her mind drifted to the person she missed the most. She wished she could be in Asuma's arms right now.
The next day, a familiar team approached the gates. Team Kakashi stopped by the gate keepers and was surprised to see team 8 taking up the task. Kakashi signed the log and exchanged a few words with Kurenai, while dropping the name of Asuma. Hinata heard half of the conversation, but thought nothing of it. After all, Kurenai and Asuma were once teammates. So it wasn't weird for Kakashi to be talking about Asuma.
"S-Sakura, Naruto, good luck on your mission!" Hinata said. She noticed beside team 7 was an older woman with a kid. Hinata figured it was an escort mission.
"Thanks Hinata, let's spar sometime after I get back!" Naruto said.
"No chance, Naruto." Kiba spat. "Hinata only trains with us, right Akamaru?" The puppy barked in agreement, even though they both knew that wasn't entirely true since team 10 had stolen Hinata for one day about two weeks ago.
"Huh? Who asked your opinion?" Naruto said. Sasuke pulled Naruto by the collar because half of Naruto's body was already over the desk, as if he was going to fight Kiba right then.
"Calm down you idiot." Sasuke grunted out.
"Ugh, boys." Sakura murmured to herself. She then turned to Hinata. "I'll tell you all about the cool things I saw on the trip when I get back!" Sakura said.
"O-Okay!"
It was the next day, when it all came together inside Hinata's head. Team 10 stopped by the gate keepers. The genins exchanged greetings and they waited in silence as Kurenai and Asuma spoke to each other.
"Team's 10 first C-mission." Asuma said. "We're gonna do some Intelligence gathering about a group of thug who probably has a Chūnin rank missing nin backing them up and causing trouble." Asuma explained to her.
"Don't you dare die out there," Kurenai said. "You better come back with your team in one piece."
Asuma, who had been smoking, put out the cigarette and disposed of it by a trash bin nearby. He strolled back to Kurenai, and leaned over the desk and placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth.
Shikamaru's eyes widened. He never guessed that his bold sensei would do something like that in public. His eyes landed on Hinata, who looked just as shocked.
"Aha! See Chouji, I was right, they are dating!" Ino said, as she pointed a finger towards Asuma. Both adults rolled their eyes over Ino's childish behavior. They didn't want to know that they were being talked about between the genins.
"I'm an Inuzuka, so you can imagine I already knew." Kiba said to Ino while tapping his nose. Ino, understanding what he had implied, grinned back at him.
"Kiba, you can't use your last name as a way to explain everything. Why? Because it's ambiguous. It makes you appear like you didn't know anything in the first place." Shino commented.
"I'll be back before you know it." Asuma said to Kurenai. He chuckled as he turned to look at Hinata. "Tomato, thanks again for the other week when you helped my team."
"Y-Y-You're welcome sensei…" Hinata replied, halfheartedly.
As team 10 left through the gate, Shikamaru took a last look at Hinata. She seemed to be staring off, somewhere far away. He sighed loudly, as he picked up his pace to catch up with his team.
"Troublesome." He said out loud. But such word was always too vague. Ino thought Shikamaru's complain was because he felt too lazy to run a far distance while leaping from tree to tree. Chouji believed Shikamaru said troublesome, because he wanted to sleep. But Asuma was the only one who got the closest; he got the feeling Shikamaru felt conflicted over a problem that had to do with Hinata.
A gloom descended, very subtle at first.
Their first C-rank mission blurred by. And Kurenai held a meeting between team 8 afterwards, outlining the next things the team would work on. She announced that walking on water, and breaking out of a Chūnin level Genjutsu was at the top of the list. And following that, they would have physical exercise to increase their speed.
On her day off, Hinata was at home. It wasn't hard to keep a solemn expression during training with Kō. If the gentle Hyuga noticed the dip in her mood, he didn't show it.
It was in her room, that Hinata had difficulty not feeling self-loathing. Because when she first found out the news, she hadn't been very happy for Kurenai sensei. Hinata couldn't comprehend the nature of those twisted feelings of jealousy she had inside.
She stood in front of a mirror. She was tiny, and flat chested thanks to the bind around her chest. But flat chested never the less; compared to the adult that Kurenai was.
Hinata walked away from the mirror and lay in bed. She had this notion that when Asuma turns thirty-five, she would've been twenty. And that things would then be fine. That all she had to do was patiently wait for the right age to act. A fifteen year difference between them wasn't unheard of. Men in position of power did it all the time. They married much younger partners, so it was easy for Hinata to have entertained her fantasy for this long.
She could not redescribe the feelings she felt when she was exposed to the truth so blatantly. But she remembered the feeling of coldness spreading throughout her hands. Freezing and numbing. She also remembered the inability to breath, as her throat felt dry.
Her heart had skipped. The same way a person's heart skips when they are told bad news of a precious person, or treasured pet. Bad news of how they won't make it, and how they won't wake up ever again.
It felt similar to the way a person felt, as they picked up the lifeless corpse of the pet companion they had by their side for almost a decade.
Hinata was surprised that tears didn't fall out right there and then. What stopped them was probably the way Asuma spoke her nickname and thanked her for helping his team.
While tending to a garden, Hinata had accidentally over-watered the plants. In a fit of panic, she dropped the turquoise watering can. She ran through the mansion to find the Hyuga maid from the lower branch family, who was paid to work few shifts per week. Hinata tucked onto her sleeve, and it was then that she had a reason or excuse to expose her deepest feelings of despairs.
"Um," Hinata said, to the maid. But after uttering that first word, her chest started to hurt as if she had been holding back a sob. "You see," She said, this time it was like a water pipe burst broken from the pressure inside. "I-I over-watered-the-plants." Hinata said between hysterical cries. She used her fist, and wrist, the back of her hands, and her palms to wipe her tears. She did a rotation of this, trying to find a dry spot of skin to dry her face.
"My lady," The maid crouched on one knee, to her level and brushed her hair. "This isn't something to cry over. I know the garden belonged to your mother. But there truly isn't any reason to cry." She opened her arms and hugged the girl. "I'll call someone over, with wind affinity, and have her dry the plant's soil so that they don't die."
"Thank-you…" Hinata said, while in the maid's arms.
Kō Hyuga, who had been walking by, witnessed the scene. He only hoped that whatever storm going on inside Hinata's heart passes by.