(Alex's Pov)
I was laying on the bed just looking at the ceiling. Anne and Marcy had their heads to my chest and I rubbed both of their backs a bit and I shut my eyes just for a short while. I could hear the rain as it kept coming down and I slowly move my head to the side as I opened my good eye. I keep forgetting the windows are blocked off so I get up a bit trying not to disturb the other two sleeping. I get out of the bed and grabbed my boxers and put them on and I head down the stairs and rubbed my eyes a bit and yawned. I ended up stubbing my toe on the side wall and I grip my foot and mutter.
"Fuck, fucking hell." I mutter and take a breath. I get up and head over to the tea pot and I make enough for all three of us. I look around a bit as I hear the rain it sounded like it was lighter so I go and take a look and I was right. I sigh a bit and go back into the kitchen and then I hear someone coming down.
"Morning." I hear and see Marcy and I smile a little at her.
"Morning… did I wake you?" I asked as I hand her a cup of tea and she shakes her head a little.
"No just didn't feel you in the bed." She yawns and then takes a drink of her tea.
"Anne is still asleep though, don't worry." She says and I nod and I make my own cup of tea.
"The rain is letting up a bit, should be done later today or tonight." I tell her and she nods a bit.
"We can go see Olivia and Yunan today actually." She says and I nod.
"Yea I should go see Grime." I say and we finish up the tea before we hear Anne come down and I wave a bit at her.
"Alex made some tea." Marcy says and I make Anne a cup and bring it to her. She kisses my cheek still tired and I smiled a bit as she goes and takes a seat.
"Rain is light." She says and I chuckle.
"We know, I'm going to see Olivia and Yunan today actually." Marcy says as she takes a seat and I go sit on the recliner by the fire which I relight to have some light and to warm up the house a bit as well.
"Oh? Are we all going?" Anne asked.
"Well, I was going to check up on Grime, but if he's not available we can go see the triplets, or visit Olivia and them." I say and Anne thinks a bit.
"Alright, I'll go see HopPop and the others than, we can meet up." She says and I nod at this. We all relax a bit by the fire and I guess I fell asleep again because when I did end up waking up, I had a light blanket on me and I look around a bit and hear some talking.
"We can get everyone here; I just think Alex is to tired right now he drank all that tea without passing out it might have finally just started working." I hear as I move slightly on the recliner.
"That would be nice, I could make a big meal for everyone and you are right he did drink a lot of that tea." I hear and I get up from the chair and head to the kitchen.
"Oh, how was your nap?" I hear Marcy say and I nod a bit.
"It was fine… how long was I out?" I asked.
"About thirty minutes, you snore when you're in a deep sleep." Anne giggled a bit and I chuckled at this.
"Are you still tired?" Marcy asked as she came up to me and I nod a little.
"Just a little, but I'm good… think the tea finally hit." I joke a bit and she cups my face.
"Go lay back down, pull the recliner out." Marcy tells me and I nod as I go back to the recliner and put the blanket back on myself. I pull the lever for the recliner to pull the seat rest out and lay back a bit. god I must have been so tired I just ended up falling asleep right at that moment.
"They just didn't want to hear you complain about being tired again." I hear and I shoot up from the recliner but I wasn't in the living room I was back in a white blinding room.
"Poor little Alex, no one cares for your feelings, heck they probably wouldn't care about us talking to you." I hear and look around more.
"You can't see us but we can see you." They all say and I cover my ears and shut my eyes tightly.
"You can never get rid of us, but you should be glad we couldn't get to Marcy… or Mar-Mar as you call her." The voices says and I open my eyes and look around to see I was in a dark room and the lighting turns red. I look around to see old Amphibian text on the walls and the room seems to be spinning.
"Come on, you're Sasha, not Alex, the temple was only temporary." I hear and I get angry as I hear my own mother saying these words to me.
"You'll always be my daughter, I never had a son."
"You were a mistake, you are a girl." I hear many people say. I could even hear Anne and Marcy saying this. Why? Why now? What's wrong with me?
"Shut up." I say.
"What was that?"
"I SAID SHUT UP!" I yelled and looked around the room and see those glowing red eyes again but it was on me. I quickly shoot up from the recliner yelling and I feel someone put their hands on me and I shoved them which cause the recliner to fall backwards and my head slammed to the ground and I groan.
"Woah what is going on?" I hear and I quickly get up and back up to the wall and I looked around trying to name the objects in the room like my step-mom taught me but I could not keep focus.
"He screamed I didn't know what to do and I grabbed him." I hear and my eyes are moving to look at anything and then I finally see Anne in front of me.
"Anne." I say and look around again and I see Marcy and I swallowed a bit.
"Marcy." I look around again.
"Firepit." I mutter.
"What is he doing?" I hear and look to see Polly.
"Polly." I mutter and then back to Anne as I slide down a bit and she follows me.
"Can't… can't name, five." I mutter.
"Hey, hey it's ok, breath like me, count to five." She says and I nod and try to follow her breathing and I count with her. I finally get to five and I felt just a little better and I place my hand to my chest and it goes down on it's own so I bring it back up and count to five again.
"There you go." Anne says and I nod a bit at this and I look to the floor a bit.
"What happened?" I hear Marcy ask as she came up to me and I look to her.
"Bad… Very bad dream." I say and she nods and I see her hold her hand up a bit and I nod as she touches me and I nod again just a little.
"What's wrong with Uncle Alex?" I hear and see the triplets and then I see everyone else and I felt ashamed. I look back to the ground and placed my hands to my head and gripped my hair a bit.
"Nothing, he just had a bad dream sweetie." I hear Marcy say to them.
"Alex, do you need to go to the room?" Anne asked and I shake my head at this and stayed where I was.
"Them, it was them I hate them I hate them so much." I mutter.
"Alex, come on I don't think the little ones need to hear this." I hear Anne whisper and I shake my head again.
"Ale-."
"Sasha, not… not Alex, Sasha." I mutter.
"Sasha?" She asked.
"Not Alex, Mistake, I was a mistake." I mutter quietly and I feel hands around me.
"No, Marcy-."
"On it, come on you three let's go help HopPop in the kitchen." I hear.
"Ale-."
"Sasha." I mutter.
"Ok… ok Sasha." She says and I nod a little.
"Why… that name?" She asked and I shake my head.
"Mistake… not a guy, nothing, just nothing." I mutter.
"I… can we go talk in private?" I hear her ask. I think a little and then nod as she helps me up and we head to her room and I take a seat on the bed.
"Lay down." She tells me and I look at her and she gives me the mom look so I nod just a little and I lay back on the bed and she takes a seat on the ground and I look at her.
"Why, do you think you aren't a guy?" She asked carefully and I look t the ceiling then back to her.
"Temporary… all it said was temporary." I tell her.
"What said that? Your temple?" She asked and I shrugged.
"Core." I mutter.
"The Core is gone Al…. Sasha." She says and I look to the other wall.
"In my head… it's in my head Anne." I cried. I didn't want her to see me cry. It shows that I'm weak, I'm not weak.
"Sash." She says.
"No more helmet, it didn't need the helmet… I talked to Valariana." I say and take a breath.
"Is… frog I don't know what to say." I hear her say quietly. We stay silent for a while before I rubbed my eyes and then look to her as she looked to the floor a bit and I take a breath.
"I… I'm so sorry Anne." I say and she looks to me with wide eyes.
"Why-."
"I'm not… I can't be… Alex… I just… you and Marcy won't want." I stopped talking.
"You think we give a damn if you're a boy or a girl?" She asked and I shut my eyes tightly and I nod.
"We don't care about what is in your pants, if you want to be Sasha that's fine, if you want to be Alex, you be him… you're so confidant in yourself when you are Alex, you're happy as Alex, god I don't think I've seen you smile as much as you do when we call you Alex." She tells me and I shake my head.
"Mom-."
"Who in the flying fuck cares what your mother thinks?" She asked and I look to her sadly.
"You have a dad that loves you for who you are, who worried about you and your safety, you have a stepmother who thinks the world of you, do you think she cares? And your brother, he loves the hell out of you… you think he cares?" She asked and I nod a little.
"Alex-."
"Sasha." I muttered.
"No, you… you are Alex, that is what you want to be called and damn it I'm going to stop dead naming you, I hate having to do that, because that hurt you." She says and I keep silent.
"Alex… Alex listen to me please." She says and I look at her. She had stood up and I take a breath.
"The Core… it's messing with you, why would your temple only do this to you if it was temporary?" She asked. I didn't know the answer to that.
"To make me feel like shit later on." I mutter.
"Well guess what, we have a portal back home, if we have to if you do become… her again, we can take you back home get you what you need, surgery all-."
"No." I tell her and we look to each other.
"No?" She asked and I nod.
"No." I tell her as I sit up and she takes a seat on the bed and we keep looking at each other.
"Aren't you… aren't you happy being Alex?" She asked and felt the tears in my eyes again and I nod.
"Alex, I don't… when you told Marcy and I about who you truly were, how you felt, when you asked for us on advice on what you should be called, we supported you every step of the way, and you were so… you were so happy with the name we picked out for you." She says to me and I pull my legs to my chest and I look to her a bit.
"Your eyes lit up like a kids' eyes do on Christmas morning… why would you not want to be happy?" She asked.
"I just… don't know anymore Anne." I tell her honestly and she looks a little sadden at this.
"I just… I just don't want to call you by a name you don't like, I don't want to… I just want you to be happy and comfortable with being who you are." She tells me and I rubbed my face a little bit.
"I don't." I stopped and take a breath.
"What if… what if it was a mistake?" I asked and looked at her.
"If it was a temporary thing than fine… but I don't… fuck I'm going to sound like an asshole but I like the fact that… that I don't have scars, that I could possibly…" I stop again and take a breath.
"Possibly?" Anne asked and I turned a bit red at this and rotate my hand a bit.
"You know… give you and Marcy…. Kids?" I questioned and I look at her as she turned red as well and then she coughed clearing her throat a bit.
"Well… I mean that doesn't make you an asshole, just that you have an… opportunity to do what most can't do." She says and I smile a little.
"I mean… Marcy and I would really love to have children with you." She says and I turn red at this and I chuckled nervously.
"I mean." I laughed a bit.
"After what we did last night, it felt really… really good." She laughed with me and I place my hand to my head as we laughed a bit. I feel her put her hand to my foot and I look at her.
"It… it did." I say quietly and sighed as I think just a little bit.
"I felt… good." I say quietly again and I shut my eyes tightly.
"And there is nothing wrong with that is there?" She asked and I shake my head at this.
"N-No… I mean… it… it felt nice and… I… I don't know." I tell her and I look at her.
"I like being Alex it's just… I'm going to have to face the fact that there could be a possibility that… I won't be Alex anymore… That I… I'll be her again." I tell Anne.
"You won't, like I said we can go back home… and so what if we can't have biological kids? We can adopt… heck we can adopt little toads, newts, and frogs." She says with a smile and I smile too.
"Create our own little toad army?" I joked and she smiled at me and nods.
"Exactly… and then they can have their own families and we'd just be one big happy family here… heck they even have ways where Marcy and I could have kids of our own too, so if you do… become her again… we could try that way… if you want." She says and I look at her.
"If… if you want." She says and I look down.
"I'm sorry." I tell her.
"For what?" She asked.
"Having a panic attack, for… ruining… the visit." I tell her.
"What do you mean by ruining the visit?" She asked.
"The… we were supposed to go to everyone's homes and… I fell asleep." I tell her.
"Alex… you drank a lot of the Sundews sleeping tea, and I mean a lot of it, so it's fine, you needed the sleep anyway… and you didn't ruin the visit ok? you had a bad dream, you had a panic attack, and that is fine, we don't blame you for it at all, it's going to happen and we can try and help… but if you need to go back home and talk to your stepmom or someone we will do it." She tells me and I rubbed the back of my head a bit.
"Alex, don't feel ashamed for it, you been through a lot in the last… frog fifteen years but those ten years… I think you and Marcy should actually talk to your stepmom about this." She says and I grab her fingertips gently and look at her hand.
"Mom… she's my mom… not… not that woman." I tell her and I look at her and she nods.
"Ok… we can go talk to your mom." She says and I nod.
"Only if you and Mar-Mar are there." I tell her.
"If that is what you want… now Marcy on the other hand might want to talk to her in private you know this right?" She asked and I nodded.
"I know, and it's ok." I tell her and she nods.
"Now come on, let's go down and have a nice dinner." She says and I look around the room a bit.
"I'd like to… stay in here a while…. I might… fall asleep again." I tell her.
"Want to go to our room? Light the fire in there and get warmed up… if you haven't noticed rain came back for round two." She says and I hear the thunder and I sighed.
"Just feeling my mood hu?" I asked her and she looks to me a bit.
"Could be." She says and then kisses my head.
"Come on, let's get the fire going for you and you can sleep ok?" She asked and I nod a bit as we head over to our room and I help with the fire. I then hear running up the stairs and turned a bit to see three little tadpoles and Marcy.
"UNCLE ALEX!" They yelled as they tackled me.
"Woah hey." I say as I grabbed them just as Anne lit the fire.
"Careful you three, I'm sorry they really want their uncle." Marcy says.
"Well, your uncle wants some beauty sleep." I say as I stand up with all three of them in my arms and I set them on the bed.
"Uncle Alex, who's Sasha?" The youngest of the tadpole asked and I clear my throat.
"Well… she was a really… she was a friend of aunt Anne and Aunt Mar-Mar." I tell them.
"Where is she?" They all asked and I swallow a bit and looked to Anne and Marcy.
"I think maybe we should give uncle Alex some time to himself." Marcy says.
"Was she with you three? Do we have another Aunt?" The oldest one asked and I look to the side a bit and I look at Anne and Marcy.
"Come on you three-."
"Is she dead?" The eldest asked and I look to the side at the fire a bit.
"Leaf Planter, now you three go down to your father and mother right now." Anne says and they leave in a huff and I rubbed my face a bit.
"Alex I am so sorry I… I didn't." Marc tried to say but I put my hand up a bit and looked at her.
"It's ok… Anne and I talked… I'm… just going to go to sleep for a bit…. I might miss out on dinner." I tell them both.
"We will bring you up something to eat at least." Marcy says and I nod a bit. they kissed my head and I closed my eyes a bit then opened them and watched them get up and leave the room and I lay back on the bed. though sadly I couldn't go to sleep. Those thoughts will get me in my dreams. I must have been here a while because I could hear everyone talking, or well mumbling at least with these walls.
"They aren't just thoughts Sasha." I hear and I grabbed my head as I sat up.
"Leave me alone." I begged.
"Oh, you think it's that easy? We will make sure your life is a living hell, you did this to yourself, you deserve this." They say and I gripped my hair more it felt like I was going to rip the hairs out of my own head.
"You think we would just let you have a happy life? We didn't need the helmet with you anymore, we will forever be in your mind." They say and I get up as I let go of my head.
"Shut up you bastards." They say and look in the mirror and I see my eyes glowing red again and I smashed the mirror with my fist and I look to it and see red… not green… I must be crazy, they can't it was green with Marcy.
"We've been with you for so long… we are you." I hear and looked to the shattered mirror on the floor and then the door opens and I quickly turn to see Marcy who looked shocked and I looked back to my hand.
"Alex your eyes." She says and I shake my head.
"I'm just… I'm going crazy… I'm… I've gone crazy." I laughed a little and held my hand and I here someone running and I see Anne in the doorway as Marcy came up and grabbed my hand and I just look at her hands on mine.
"Anne, help he's bleeding a lot." I hear and I feel someone rush by and I was forced to sit down and then forced to look at Anne and she backed up a bit.
"Your… Your eyes." She says and I nod.
"Red?" I asked and she nods.
"Like… like the Core?" I asked and she nods a little and I feel my hand being moved and I look to see Marcy working on it.
"Oh god." I hear her say and I grabbed the peroxide and bandages gently and she quickly let go and backed up a bit. I look at her and she looked to me scared.
"I told you…. I told both of you." I tell her and she looked away. I felt sad. Why would I feel sad at this?
"Because she's scared of you now." I hear and I looked down so she wouldn't see my eyes.
"Marcy, you need to get Valariana, now." I hear and then I hear Marcy leave the room. Anne helps me with the bandages and I hear the front door open and slam shut quickly.
"She's scared of me." I tell Anne.
"No, she's-."
"My eyes Anne… The Cores eyes." I mutter.
"No, she's scared for you, just… just stop it." She says as she finished up the bandages and I keep my eyes to the bandages. I then feel hands on my face but I wasn't made to look at her. Was she scared too? She must be, who isn't? we stay like this for a good while.
"Where is he?" I hear and shut my eyes.
"Up here." I heard and then I feel a hand on my face.
"Child, let me see your eyes." I hear and I shake my head a bit at this.
"Please Child." I hear.
"Marcy… And Anne need to leave the room." I say and I feel Anne move away and then the door closes.
"They are gone." I hear and I open my eyes and look at Valariana who looks at me in shock.
"Oh dear." She says as she looks at me. Inspecting me.
"Nothing we can do." I mutter and closed my eyes again.
"There could be something." She says and I shake my head.
"Nothing can be done." I tell her.
"Maybe Anne can talk with the god she spoke of." She says and I shake my head at this.
"Can they come back in?" She asked and I nod.
"Just have to keep my eyes closed." I mutter. I hear the door open and I rub the back of my head a bit as I keep my eyes closed and head down.
"What's going on?" I hear Marcy ask.
"It seems that when the core no longer needed the helmet it had put some of their own being in Alex's head." Valariana says and I chuckled.
"I wasn't crazy the voices are real." I mutter.
"Voices?" I hear Marcy ask and I nod.
"What did they say?" She asked and I shake my head at this question and I cover my face with my hands.
"How do we get rid of them?" Anne asked.
"Maybe some medicine?" Valariana suggested and I chuckled.
"This isn't funny Alex."
"Oh, it is… they wont stop taunting me, even now they won't." I tell them.
"I… there has to be a way, maybe they aren't really in his head-."
"HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS EYES?!" Marcy yelled and I get up from the bed.
"STOP!" I yelled and I think they were looking at me and I take a few deep breaths.
"We are taking you home now." I hear Anne say and I hear some shuffling about.
"There is no need." I say.
"What the hell do you mean?" Marcy asked.
"I can't open my eyes out of fear, I can't for Marcy and it won't go away because how are people in our world able to help me with something from this world?" I asked them.
"Maybe we can fix that here, and what's going on in your head back home, maybe if we get you medication it could help." Anne says.
"She may have a point my child." Valariana says and I shake my head and feel around the room and I find the bathroom and close the door so I could open my eyes and I look in the mirror. My bad eye was red but my good eye was normal blue.
"Alex just… let us help you." Marcy says.
"NO!" I yelled.
"ALEX LISTEN TO US!" Marcy yelled.
"SIE KÖNNEN MICH NICHT EINMAL MIT MEINEN AUGEN ANSCHAUEN, SO WIE SIE SIND, ICH WERDE NICHT VON IHNEN ODER ANDEREN BEMITTELT!" I yelled in German getting mad.
"Do not switch up your language on us Alex." Anne threatens.
"Ich möchte weder von dir noch von jemand anderem bemitleidet werden." I mutter.
"Alex." Marcy says.
"I do not want to go home, I do not want the pity I do not want to be treated like some child, and I will not be treated like one by you two or anyone else." I tell them.
"We aren't treating you like a child you need help just like everyone else." Marcy says.
"I do not." I tell them.
"Alex you aren't thinking straight." Anne says.
"I am."
"You are not." Marcy says. I look back to the mirror and see my eyes are the same, one red like the devil and one blue like the waters in Newtopia.
"Alex." I hear and I grip my hands into fists.
"Listen to me Alex, it's ok to ask for help." I hear Grime say and hit the door.
"I DON'T NEED HELP!" I yelled at him.
"Do not raise your voice at me young man." He says and I keep my mouth shut as I sit on the bathroom floor.
"I would like to be alone." I tell them.
"You will go to your world tonight; do you hear me?" Grime says and I place my hand to my head.
"Yes sir." I say quietly and I hear people moving around and leaving the room and a bag being packed. I get back up after a while and look in the mirror to see that my eye was still red and I grabbed the patch to cover it up. I walk out and look to Marcy and Anne as they were in the midst of packing and I help them a little.
"Only one eye?" Marcy asked and I just nod. I heard the rain getting louder and I sighed as I grabbed the bag and we all went to the door. Anne told everyone they could stay here for a while till the rain died down and we headed out into the rain and went to Polly's workshop. Marcy had switched it on opening the portal once more and we walk through to see no one which I was fine with. I look to Anne as she grabbed her phone and called her parents and she was quite surprised.
"Seems like your father and mom are with my parents." She tells us and goes back to her phone.
"Mind picking us up?" She asked them. She then nods and talks back to them and when done she hangs up and I take a seat over by the door.
"Alex?" I hear and I look up to Marcy as she then takes a seat next to me.
"I know you don't want this but you need it." She tells me and I just nod a little at this. It wasn't long till Anne informs us that her parents are here and we go out and into the car and we are taken to her parents' home. I see my father's car and I get out with the others and we go inside the house and I see my father and mom in the house.
"Alex good to see you." He says as he comes up and hugs me and I keep my hands to my side.
"Not good to be here." I tell him.
"What is going on?" Anne's parents asked.
"We uh… well Alex." Marcy tried to say and I sighed and took my patch off so they could see my eye.
"You need to go to a hospital." I hear my father say as he looked to me and I shake my head.
"We don't really know what to do." I tell them.
"What do you mean?" Anne's father asked and I sighed.
"Alex has been having some… mental issues." Anne says the last part quietly.
"About your gender?" My mom asked and I look at her then rubbed my head and placed the patch back on.
"No, well… no just…. Remember the battle here years ago?" I asked them.
"Of course."
"Well, the core… the thing that was controlling me, it's been in my head and well it just… it is a bother." I tell them.
"The core is back?" Anne's mother asked.
"It never left." Anne tells her.
"What do you mean it never left? You said you died to destroy it." Her father says.
"They must have hidden away I don't know-."
"Our daughter died for you and everyone and her life was taken for something that didn't work?" Her mother says and I look to her as she looked to me in anger. I grabbed my hands a bit. It was because of me that Anne did die. That I wasn't harder on her about letting my own life to be taken and not hers. That I wasn't man enough.
"Mother that is not Alex's fault." Anne says.
"You died for nothing." She says and I look down.
"Now hold on, how was Alex supposed to know?" My mom asked her.
"He's done so much research." Anne's father says and I rubbed my face a bit at this.
"But how was he supposed to know of something new? This was new." Marcy says to them.
"We came here to get Alex some help." Anne says.
"What help does he need?" My own mom asked and I keep silent.
"Ich wollte das nicht, ich habe es ihnen gesagt und niemand hört mir zu." I finally say to my father and he looked to me.
"Ich bin müde, ich habe Albträume, ich kann nicht mehr gut schlafen, ich weiß nicht, was ich tun soll." I tell him.
"Son." He says.
"Sie wissen nicht, dass ich sterben will, es wäre der einzige Weg, die Stimmen loszuwerden." I tell him.
"We will take him home." My father says.
"Wait hold on-."
"We will be taking our son home, Anne." He says and I look to her as she looks to me. I nod a little and looked to Marcy who looks to me and I nod to her as well. I go with my parents to their car and my dad drives us to his home. We keep silent and as he pulls up to his home, I get out with them as we walk into the house.
"Talk to your stepmother." He says.
"She is my mom." I tell him and he looks to me and nods and I look to her and she nods as we head into her studies and I take a seat on the couch as she grabbed a notebook and I look to her.
"I'm not going to go into the whole, how are you because I can see you aren't well, so I'll just go straight to it." She says and I nod at this.
"What did you say to your father?" She asked.
"I told him I wanted to die." I tell her truthfully. There is no point in trying to hide anything from her.
"I cannot sleep well; I was only able to sleep when we… but I woke up so soon." I tell her as my face turns red a bit.
"Have you told this to Anne and Marcy?" She asked.
"I have, I have told them and they know I haven't been sleeping well, we have talked." I tell her.
"What about the issue with you and rethinking your gender?" She asked me.
"It was just a breakdown, what if I am no longer Alex? What if I become… Sasha?" I asked her.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"The Core said to me many things." I tell her and sighed. We talked for who knows how long and I told her as much as I could without breaking down. I even told her how Marcy might talk to her when she was ready.
"I think we should stop for the night, I'll see what I can do about getting you some medication, for now we should give you some melatonin to try and help you sleep for now… your room is still the same don't worry." She tells me and I nod as we get up and leave her office. I head to my room and looked to the bed a bit. I did not sleep this night, or many nights that I have been here. My eye had not changed I would hear the voices but now they were jumbled up. There was nothing that could help me, I talked about how I feel but nothing working. I had taken the medication but nothing, I know they didn't work instantly but after three months something should have worked but nothing.
"Alex, Anne and Marcy are on the phone." I hear and I go over to my mom and she hands me the phone so I answer them.
"Hey." I mutter.
"How are you?" Marcy asked.
"Don't know really… um… still haven't been sleeping well." I tell them honestly. I could her someone mutter a damn it but I didn't know who.
"Maybe we should go back home?" Anne asked.
"I have no idea… mom thinks I could get help there but." I stopped as I think a bit.
"Yea… let's go home." I tell them.
"Are you sure?" Marcy asked.
"Yea… the open air will probably clear my mind." I tell her.
"Ok, we will be over in about thirty minutes." She says and I nod and we hang up. My dad comes over and hands me some clean clothes and I nod to him and I go and change my clothes and I looked into the mirror to see my eyes both were back to normal, at least my one eye wasn't red so that was one good thing. I still put the patch on and looked at myself. My hair was a mess, my beard was unkept, I had bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep. I sighed as I get out of the bathroom just in time for the doorbell to ring and I look to see my brother running up to the door and my mom had Alexandria in her arms.
"Alex it's your wives." He says in a mocking tone and I go up to him and put him in a bit of a headlock as I give him a noogie.
"Alright Hayden they're your sisters now." I say as he tried to get out of my grip.
"Alright, alright, sorry." He says and I look to him and then let him go.
"Nothing to say sorry for but ok." I tell him then look to Anne and Marcy.
"We have come to pick you up." Marcy says and I nod and then turn to my mom.
"Oh, wait before we leave." I say as I go over to my mom and grabbed Alexandria and brought her over to see Anne and Marcy.
"Alex, you had a baby without us?" Anne asked in a faux gasp and I laughed.
"No, this is my baby sister." I tell her and Anne looked over my shoulder and then holds her hands out and I hand her the baby as they walk in.
"So this is the little sister we've herd so much about?" Marcy asked and I nod.
"She looks a lot like you when you were little." Anne says and I chuckled.
"She is going to kick some a-… butts." I corrected myself when I see my dad walk in.
"Good save there." He says and Anne passes the baby to Marcy who cooed at the little one. After a few minutes Alexandria became fussy so my mom takes her and I look to Anne and Marcy and nod as I tell my family that I'll be heading back to Amphibia. My mom gives me a calendar with dates I have to come back to talk with her and I agreed to it. We headed out and back to Amphibia to see that the rain was gone and I rubbed the back of my head. Anne heads over to the Planters and Marcy stays with me.
"Was… Was Anne's mom mad at me?" I asked as we just walked around the swamp area, away from the town.
"No, she just… it's just Anne died destroying the Core and her mom is terrified that she might have to do it again… maybe?" Marcy says and I think.
"And she's scared for you as well." She tells me and I pick up a rock.
"Why? I ain't her kid." I say as I throw the rock into the water making it skip a few times.
"Well, you are marrying her only daughter, so you are family." Marcy says and I stay silent.
"If…never mind." I say as I pick up another rock.
"What?" Marcy says and I shake my head a bit.
"If I wasn't marrying you or Anne would your parents even care? Or is that the only reason why?" I mutter and look to the waters more.
"Of course they would care for you even if you weren't." She tells me and I just shake my head.
"Doesn't feel like it with the way her parents acted." I tell her.
"They're just worried, yeah they were a bit harsh and they felt bad." She tells me and I just take a breath.
"If things can't be fixed with me, I want the wedding to be off." I tell her.
"What? You can't-."
"I don't want you or Anne to deal with me this way… having panic attacks just because of a bad dream-."
"Would you leave me if I had the same problems? Would you be ok with e saying this to you?" She interrupted me and I look to her.
"Because I have them too, I keep them a secret from you and Anne for years, I get scared too, but you'd let me leave if I said the same thing?" She tells me.
"You're stron-."
"I am not… you and Anne help me, you need help and there is nothing wrong with that, hell Anne has bad dreams with her death, you're being selfish." She says and I look at her.
"How is that me being selfish?" I asked, I wasn't angry at her for this I just wanted to know.
"You're thinking about yourself, you don't know how Anne and I would feel with you just leaving us, I get it you're scared we all are, we have our own problems but we work it out together that's how we deal with problems like this." She tells me.
"You think you have to do this alone? You can't, you need our help just as much as we need you… why can't you see that?" She asked. I stay silent for a bit and look to her and I try to speak but I couldn't say anything. Until I did.
"Why would you both want damaged good?" I asked and looked down.
"You're not damaged goods, if so then both of us are as well." She tells me and I shake my head.
"I'm not a boy, I'm not a girl, my bitch mother hates me, I can't sleep and I have these fucking voices in my head." I tell her.
"You think I haven't had them either?" She asked and I look at her.
"The reason I freaked out with your eyes being red is because it happens to me sometimes too… granted I don't hear them and me seeing my eyes like that could just be an illusion unlike yours I still freak out when I see them, and you thinking you aren't a guy, that's ridiculous after what happened a few months ago." She says and I see some red dusting her cheeks and I turn red as well.
"I uh… ehem um." I try to say something but get a bit choked up.
"Come on, how can you not think you're man enough after that?" She asked.
"I just… well you see." I try to say something but she moved closer to me shoulder to shoulder and she holds my hand and I look at both our hands.
"I just… I don't know what to think anymore honestly." I tell her honestly.
"Well, if you don't feel man enough how about we make you feel man enough tonight?" She asked.
"MARCY WU!?" I yelled out and she laughed and I couldn't help but laugh as well.
"You're so blunt." I tell her.
"Hmm, wonder why." She says and I look at her. Anne then comes over and I turn even more red at this and I coved my face with my free hand.
"Why is Alex so red?" Anne asked.
"Maybe because I said something so risky." Marcy tells her.
"Marcy." I say and Anne laughed.
"Oh, is Alex in the mood?" Anne asked I could hear the smirk in her voice and I got even more embarrassed.
"We are just joking Al-."
"Maybe… I am… but I don't want you two, to be…. Uncomfortable." I tell them.
"Oh, we aren't but if we do make you feel uncomfortable then we can stop." Marcy says and I feel Anne take a seat to my other side and I take a breath as I move my hand away from my face and I sighed a bit.
"You aren't it's just… it's not weird just… I…." I stopped talking and rubbed the back of my neck but I feel one of them move it away.
"You're going to rub your neck raw Alex." Anne says.
"Yeah, sorry." I mutter and I clear my throat a bit.
"Stop saying sorry for mundane things." Marcy says and I nod at this and take a breath.
"Ok, so uh…. Tonight, could we… you know?" I ask them.
"If you want, only if you feel comfortable." Marcy says and I nod.
"Ok." I say quietly.
"Now Anne, explain to Alex about why your parents seemed upset." Marcy says.
"Marcy." I say quietly.
"Is that what this is about?" Anne asked.
"No just… ok, I felt like your parents were just upset at me for all of this, and then it got me thinking about myself and my… stupid mother and just… everything." I tell her.
"Look, my parents were a bit… rude when they said what they said, they do feel bad after what they said, and we can talk to them later about it, they are worried about you trust me they are, they even tried asking Marcy and I what you said in German but we couldn't tell them because we didn't know." She tells me and I look at them.
"And thinking about yourself? We talked about that a few months ago Alex." She tells me and I nod a bit at this.
"I know, I know but it's hard sometimes you know." I say quietly.
"I know." She says and I feel her rub my back and I sighed.
"I told Marcy that if I couldn't be fixed, I wanted the wedding to be off." I tell her.
"What?" She asked quietly.
"I feel like… if I couldn't be fixed what's the point of you and Marcy having to deal with me? all I'm going to do is put you two through more trouble than need be." I explain to her.
"Alex… that's selfish." She says and I chuckled at this.
"Marcy said the same thing… but honestly I'm still going to think about it." I tell her.
"I know you won't stop thinking like that but let's be fair here, there are times where I think I'm not good enough for either of you two." Anne tells me.
"Same here." Marcy says and I take a breath.
"But come on, we've been through so much together, we fought for this world and ours, and many others as well, even if they don't know about us… you became a commander in the toad Army." Anne says and I chuckled.
"You are a goddess in the works." I joke.
"Marcy could one day be queen of Newtopia." Anne says and we all laugh a bit at this.
"Which would make Alex a King and you a Queen as well." Marcy says and I chucked a little.
"To much responsibility." I say quietly.
"I know, but it could happen one day." She says and I sigh.
"Sorry for acting this way." I tell them.
"No reason to be sorry Alex, it happens, all we can do right now is talk." Anne says and I think a bit. I then stand up and help both of them up from their spots.
"We need to find Andrias, I'm done playing these games." I tell them.
"We can start looking for him tomorrow." Marcy says and I nod. We ended up going to the house and we got to work on making dinner. I made some tea for all of us and we sat down and had a nice meal. We then headed to bed and I didn't want to sleep but I was so tired that I actually did end up sleeping. But that didn't last long. It never did. I woke up shooting myself out the bed making Anne and Marcy wake up and I checked myself in the mirror. My eye was fine as I could see, and I check my body for any wounds like in my dream.
"Alex you, ok?" I hear and look to see both of them still tired but alert.
"Yea, sorry please go back to sleep." I tell them.
"Al-."
"I swear I'm fine. Please go back to bed." I tell Anne as she looked to me.
"You'll be back in bed, right?" Marcy asked and I nod to her.
"Yea I'm… I will in a bit." I say to her and she looked to Anne then back to me and I nod again. She heads back to the bed but still looks at me as she got in the bed and I look to Anne who didn't move away from the door and I sighed. I look back to the mirror and I hear the door close and I look back to see Anne as she placed a hand on my cheek and looked me in the eye.
"Your eye is ok." She tells me and I nod only a little.
"How's your head?" She asked as she rubbed the back of my head.
"It's fine, just… another bad dream." I tell her.
"Come on, lets just go lay in bed if you want, we can go in my room and we can lay and talk, so Marcy can sleep." She says and I look to the door and then back to her.
"Marcy won't be mad?" I asked.
"I'll tell her we didn't want to disturb her sleep." She tells me and I nod gently.
"Ok, I'll be right back." She tells me and nod as I fill the sink up a bit and I wash my face and sighed a bit. I head out the bathroom and look to see Anne and Marcy talking a bit and they look at me.
"Ready?" Anne asked and I look at Marcy.
"It's ok." She says and I go over to her and kissed her head gently. When I moved away, she looked up to me and I smile just a little and I look to Anne as we head out the room and head to hers. We go lay on the bed and I look to the ceiling a bit and I take a breath.
"Need to talk." She says and I nod.
"What happened in the dream?" She asked.
"Just… stupid stuff like always." I say to her.
"But it has you scared." She tells me.
"What if I can't be fixed." I tell her.
"We told you we would help." She says.
"I know but… what if I can't? What kid would want to have a parent like me? What the hell do you and Marcy see in me?" I asked.
"We love you; we want to help you; we can explain to our children what's going on." She tells me. I take a deep breath and I groan a bit.
"They… you all shouldn't have to deal with this." I tell her.
"I know you feel that way Alex but I want you to know we aren't going to be giving up on you, even if you want us to, we aren't going to." She tells me as we both sit up.
"You aren't going to get rid of us that easily, you're stuck with us." She tells me and I chuckle a bit and then rubbed the side of my head.
"I just don't you and Marcy to be disappointed in me." I tell her truthfully.
"We would never-."
"You say it now but later on down the line? I've waken you two up how many times already? You'll get tired of it." I tell her.
"Look we want to help you, we want to make sure you're healthy, just like you would do for Marcy and I, and we know you would do it day and night even if you're tired you would d it for us." She says and I look at her then to the side a bit.
"Alex, you need to understand that it is ok to ask for help, you need help and we will help you, you don't need to think that you should be doing this on your own." She tells me and I keep quiet.
"Say it with me." She says and I look at her.
"What?" I asked.
"Say you need help." She tells me.
"You need help." I joked and she hits my shoulder a bit and I laughed.
"You know what I mean." She says and I sighed.
"Come on." She says and I look at her.
"I… need help." I mutter.
"Sorry, what was that?" She asked and I sighed.
"I need help." I tell her.
"Alright than, I shall help you and so will Marcy." She says and I nod a little and I close my eyes a bit and rubbed my face.
"Damn it." I muttered.
"What?" She asked.
"I hate asking for help." I muttered.
"I know, but it's ok to ask for help Alex." She tells me and I look down a bit and shake my head and lay back on the bed and look to the ceiling.
"Alex, sweetheart." She says and I look to her a bit as she looked back to me, I sit up a bit. We don't say anything for a bit and I just sigh to myself and I pulled her to me in a hug.
"You need to talk?" She asked and I nod.
"What about?" She asked.
"Do you think I should build a small barn and get a snail?" I asked and she laughed.
"You want to get a snail?" She asked and I nod.
"Yeah, why not?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm not saying you can't just a bit surprised is all." She tells me and I chuckled.
"So, I can build a barn?" I asked.
"Sure, that would be great." She tells me and I smile a bit.
"Oh, maybe I can make a small training area." I think a bit.
"Oh? Marcy and I could watch you training?" Anne asked and I nod and smirked at her.
"You would like that." I say and chuckled a little and I kissed her head and she looked up to me and I smiled at her. My back was to the headboard and we both finally fell asleep getting ready for tomorrow.