'This is stupid'.

Uzuro* sighed, brows furrowing in frustration as he fulminated in his mind at Lady Eboshi's decision. He and the rest of the cattle herders sat within their newly constructed (yet still dusty and constricting) barn, holding a small bowl of luke-warm rice. They had already been struggling financially, with what small goods they had of the last of iron and frayed clothes they had been forced to peel off the backs of their deceased. The large majority of the money had gone towards rebuilding, leaving little for any sort of food. Their rationed portions were barely enough to fill a small child.

'Let her be, Uzuro. What else could she have done?' Imai* tried to reason.

'Cast them out, of course! Not only are they extra mouths to feed-' Hirano* cut in, gesturing at his dismal bowl - 'but they bring flesh-eating diseases as well. Now that- that 'Eboshi' has made the horrendous choice to house them BOTH here, the remains of this town will completely die out!'

Uzuro frowned at him. While he still hated Hirano, he made a point he couldn't completely disagree with.

Imai shot daggers at him through blood-shot eyes. 'Come now, Hirano! You could have said the exact thing of the lepers! You act as if these children cannot be of any help to us.'

'So you trust them?!'

'I trust the Lady's judgement. You know she acts with reason. Whatever the case, they appear to be linked to our latest problem in the forest. If you would rather 'cast out' any person who may be able to answer our questions, well, we may as well have all died that day'.

Hirano glared at Imai, although with dissipating antagonism. He looked to the ground and sighed, gripping his forehead in pain. The coal fire burned a dim amber, snapping now and again, flitting the surroundings with shades of auburn. Silence drowned the sound of them.

'...From the looks of it, they'll kill each other long before they reach us' Uzuro muttered. Glancing out the barn, longwards to where the captive halves lay, he tried not to think about his town's fate.

*Uzuro- Cowherd that tells Ashitaka Tataraba's story

*Imai- The old cowherd

*Hirano- Cowherd that antagonises the women

…

'I don't want us to be involved in this'.

The women sat together, some lounging lazily, others stiffly upright, and a few looking up at the stars through the interwoven roof of the former Iron Smelter. Vines dangled through the shafts, dancing with the moonlight that lay softly on Toki's face.

'Is that so, Toki? It's not like you to question the lady's judgement'. Yuko* retorted.

Toki narrowed her eyes in fury at the comment. But it was true; Lady Eboshi had done so much for the women, she always trusted her word. Perhaps a little too much, looking back, though she hated to admit it. She had to stop herself from saying what would have been a venomous retort. With this situation, there was no time for in-fighting.

'It's not that. I just think we need to be focusing on gathering more resources. We're barely back on our feet, we have no idea what we are going to do in the future, and now we've invited two deranged strangers to live with us!'

She sighed, gazing glumly at her miniscule bowl of rice.

'It's just… a frightful situation. Surely, you agree?'

The other women looked down sadly, although Kiyo sat with a surprisingly determined expression on her face.

'Maybe… But this could also be a good thing! You know Lady Eboshi; she always plans ahead, and she doesn't waste sympathy. Think about it. Why would she allow two strangers to stay with us? Because she doesn't plan for them to stay at all. These kids are strange, but they clearly know something we don't about what's going on in the forest. She'll get the information out of them and send them on their way. Simple!'

'I…don't know if it's that simple, but perhaps you have a point,' Toki admitted. This certainly wasn't the first time strangers had come to Tataraba's door begging for supplies or refuge. Some were genuine, but more often than not they were undercover spies for local warlords, or bands of looters. Eboshi seemed to have a sixth sense about which was which, certainly saving them from many pillages that would have occurred otherwise.

'It's a shame, though…' Himari* whispered, 'I was quite fond of the little one. He didn't say much when I was nursing him, but he seemed like a sweet kid. Just a sad, lost one.'

'But remember what that other boy said. He could have been lying to us all this whole time…' Yuko muttered.

'You don't really believe that, do you?'

No one responded. It was impossible to know who to trust. Perhaps even their leader. All Toki knew was it couldn't continue for any longer. Not with these kids, or these beasts, and not- with a baby on the way…

*Yuko- an older woman

*Himari- the female leper

…

((TW: Graphic violence, SA implications))

[Unknown, East China Sea, 1498]

Eboshi clutched the carved thorns of her dagger, hidden within her loose kimono. The flickering light of flames dappled the darkness with an amber glow, just beyond where she was embowered within the cabin. She sat at the edge of the futon, shifting every so often due to the ceaseless movement of the ship, glancing outside to the vast exterior of the ship as she awaited the signal. Too long had she been trapped within these perilous waves. Too long had she been humiliated and polluted by her forcibly espoused husband. Too long had she been away from her cruel home. Even now the indignant thoughts seemed to envelop her like pitch cutworms.

Eboshi sighed inwardly, exhaling a silent breath. She stared beyond the endless waves cut apart by the frame of the ship, allowing herself to indulge for just a moment as she imagined the dreary clouds were the mountains of Japan, so close it filled the skyline with its peaks. But that was as far as she let the fantasy go. For now, she was in dire straits. Peeking around the doorway of the cabin afire, she caught sight of Gonza standing beside the door, concentrating fully for when their plan of action would begin, the perfect time to strike. Her gaze softened as she watched her confidante. Eboshi would never have envisioned just a year ago that she would be conspiring with her assigned guard to rebel against the Wokou, nor the amiability that would grow between them. And yet here they were, moments away from changing the courses of their lives forever, onto a single shared river.

All of a sudden Gonza snapped his fingers behind him. A moment of confusion overcame her before she quickly recognised the signal, closed the door of the cabin swiftly and almost leapt into the . Not a second later, the door was shoved open, revealing the grimace of the captain, her husband. Seeing the deliberately sensuous position she had created on the , he grinned disconcertingly, and slammed the door behind him; although not before Eboshi caught Gonza's distressed expression on the outside.

Act fast. Don't even think.

He clambered roughly towards her, a wolf coming to devour. Her hand fled to her inner pocket and clung to the dagger, haphazardly driving it through the cloth. He was over her now, eyes bulging with greed, a gnarled demonic impression within it. She did not have to stare at it for long before it contorted in pain, the heat of his blood rushing downwards to her clothed stomach. She hauled at him with effort, thrusting the dagger deeper into his chest and using her legs to, finally, push him away from her. His pained screams, mixed with expletives of whore and bitch, increased as he stumbled and fell away from her. Fully submerged in the chaos, she shot towards him with rage in her stature and hate in her eyes, dragging her heavy blood-soaked kimono with her. She did not see the metal coming. Stings of pain led to gasps of anguish as it slashed across her right arm. With only the bestial instict of survival driving her, she thrust her dagger with all her strength further into his chest, keeping it plunged with no further thought for anything. Amidst the disorder, the disorientation, screams of herself and that vile creature, slams of wood, metal on metal, the eternal roar of the ship, the sound of a revolting squelching burst through everything, deafening all other senses to where only wet, ravaged flesh was heard. The once full-throated screams of the captain diminished to a horrific gargling, cut up with ill-fated coughs, until only the primordial yearning for air stilled on its face. Daring to open her eyes, she inhaled a fresh stench of blood, espying the long, sharp blade sheathed within his clotting neck, shattering the bridge between life and death. Above the nodachi, a large figure knelt. The blood-splattered face of Gonza stared at her. And she stared back. Nothing else needed to be said.

…

It wasn't unusual for Eboshi to have this dream. Or memory, rather. It always came back when something troubled Tataraba. This would surely be due to the recent appearance of one Rauru, bringing with him tales of diseases and warnings. Despite his generally unhinged demeanour, she had allowed both him and Saburo to remain in Tataraba, albeit isolated from the townsfolk and especially each other. At this point she had mastered an air of confidence in her speech and countenance, even if in truth she felt uncertain. But she could not allow her people's confidence in her to waver in these circumstances, although she knew it had taken a sharp blow through her decision.

But they weren't the only reason. Ever since Eboshi vowed to stop manufacturing iron, to build 'a better town', it had become increasingly hard to find a stable source of income. They were forced to rely on what little iron they had left, and even then they were being offered less and less for it. And, of course, there was the arm. That same arm that had been slashed by that monster, had been ripped away in the final moment of vengeance of Moro-no-Kimi. It still pained her a little, and sometimes she felt a spirit of a limb there, reaching down to grab her gun with nothing. Only then did she realise Moro took that limb so she would never be able to use an ishibiya again.

She sighed, turning over in the futon to look at Gonza's sleeping form. The time they had known each other seemed to rush past her: when they first locked uncertain eyes in her cell, their confiding conversations, their look of a thousand words, returning to their home, making their way through an unfamiliar land, finding Tataraba, trying to survive in a new world, making many decisions they were less than proud of, to, finally, being alone together in the darkness, now. It reassured her knowing she would have him by her side in Tataraba, in the world and all its curses. Yet, the nightmares of her reawakened memory crept at the edges of her consciousness, inviting her other past experiences to trample on her previous tranquillity.

Eboshi turned away, more roughly than she intended. Fear and gladness mingled as she recognised the sound of Gonza's stirring. Inhaling tiredly as he woke, he nevertheless knew Eboshi was awake, glancing over at her overly-stiff form.

'Are you alright, Boshi?'

She smiled softly at the nickname he had for her. But at the same time, she felt the pit in her stomach melt. She raised her delicate fingers to her cheek, feeling a warm tear, before her vision blurred entirely. Words were not necessary to this day. In response, Gonza pulled her closer, in a gentle movement no one would think could come from him. She felt calmer, though tears still edged her eyes. Not too long ago, it was so hard for her to be vulnerable. Being on the Wakou ship, death at every corner, she had to fend for herself. She could never trust anyone again, she thought. That part of her, her old identity, was gone. But at times like this, she could feel a left-over fragment of it, her past self who was full of joy and hope. And she didn't have to be strong and emotionless. She shuffled back over in his arms to face him.

'It was just that memory again. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine'. She snuggled deeper into his shoulder.

'I'm your bodyguard; it's my job to worry about you,' he replied half-jokingly.

Eboshi let out a quiet laugh at the formality of it. They had only been "officially" together for a few months, but, in truth, their relationship stretched back far further than that, arguably before they even escaped the Wakou. Although they built up their dream together, of finding a new world and building a paradise, they always knew no miracles are so simple. They had come a very long way before ending up like this.

'Well… do you think I made the right choice? Or will this all end up hurting us in the long run?' Eboshi confessed, revealing an uncertainty completely absent in her public appearances.

Gonza seemed to contemplate this for a moment. '...What did you tell me when I asked about your plan?'

Eboshi started, looking up at him quizzically. 'What? Gonza, what does that have to do with now?'

Gonza stayed silent. Eboshi rested her head on his shoulder again.

'I…told you I wanted to end the Wakou. To free the slaves, to free ourselves, to go home'.

'And I said I didn't know if it would be possible. That we could be killed. And even if we weren't, we had no further plan, no links. What did you say to me?'

Eboshi could sense an underlying meaning in this, and was beginning to see what. She smiled. 'That we had to try, even if it killed us. Because if we didn't, we had already failed. That we had to take a chance… to find out'. Eboshi uncovered why Gonza had brought this up. They didn't know what the future held, not the immediate or distant. But they, all of Tataraba, had to continue anyway, to help in any way they could, to take chances. Otherwise it's not living, right?

'Hm, I see. That's surprisingly good advice from you,' she teased.

'Surprisingly?!,' he replied in feign anger, 'I'll have you know I give the best advice of anyone here!'.

She laughed. 'Of course…', and they settled down close together again.

'But, you know Eboshi… we've survived so much together already. So much. So, no matter what happens, we can get through it, and… live in our paradise'.

Gonza was beginning to fall back asleep, they still had a few hours until they had to get up. Eboshi looked at him affectionately, feeling tenderness she thought had been ripped away from her, so long ago. And that was more than enough to get her to believe him. She leaned closer to him, kissing him softly on the lips, and he reciprocated, before both fell away into a quiet, dreamless sleep.

*futon- Japanese bed

*wakou- Japanese pirates active during the Muromachi period

—

The backstory listed here is based on Miyazaki's idea of Eboshi's past. I will try to keep this updated as much as I can; this story is not dead. Hope you enjoyed the fluff :)