In this chapter…

Adam and Lacey work on reinforcing their relationship following a tense summer. By the time fall sets in, Lacey realizes she's come a long way in controlling her anxiety when she runs into a certain someone at the grocery store…but it comes around to bite her in other ways, particularly as the threat of Y2K looms closer. As the couple prepares to spend Christmas in Switzerland with Adam's family, Adam is in search of a gesture that will prove to Lacey how committed he is to her, arguments over hockey notwithstanding…

Okay, so those of you who read my first book know how I would begin every chapter with a quote. Well, that's now becoming tedious, and even though I do want to incorporate some at certain key times, I think what I'd rather do now is start each chapter off with a song from my Thin Ice playlist. Be sure to look them up, listen to them, and enjoy!

/*/*/

"Like That" - JP Saxe

"Come on, Netta, get into the carrier." Lacey coaxed the cat as sweetly as she could manage, tapping the top of the pink carrier with the can of food inside.

But Netta only stared back with her big green saucer eyes, unimpressed.

"Typical calico," Hilda clucked her tongue as she passed Lacey, a carrier in each hand as the contained cats took turns protesting.

It was Moving Day for Cat's Cradle, and a happy one. The building they were moving into was newer and bigger, set just inside the Minneapolis city limits as opposed to the tiny community of Richfield. It would mean more foot traffic, more exposure, and obviously better accommodation for the cats. But the cats themselves were what made moving day so hard. Some could be picked up and placed in carriers without much fuss, and then there were some who could only be coaxed in with food. It seemed, however, that the cats Lacey was stuck working with today couldn't be enticed by anything.

"Martha?," she called out to the tiny high school volunteer who didn't at all fit her matronly given name. "A little help with Netta?"

"Sure." The meek girl set down the carriers she was taking to the van and jogged back to Lacey.

"Looks like we're just going to have to manhandle her in. We'll be as careful as we can, but…" Lacey trailed off, picking the cat up. "Now. You hold the carrier, please."

"Some of them you just have to do that with," Alice breezed by with another couple of carriers. "I just had to wrestle Sir George." The fat cat let out an indignant meow as he passed them.

Alice had called all hands on deck today–the usual volunteers on top of anyone else who would help them. Lacey's mom had steadfastly refused, and Stuart was obviously in no shape to carry obstinate cats to the van, from which it seemed a million cat voices of various pitches protested their destiny. But, as it was a Saturday, she was able to snag Halen and Ariel–and, surprisingly, Davy–to help with the effort of loading carriers into vans, and driving across town where another set of volunteers waited to introduce the animals to their new accommodations.

Once Netta was finally settled into her carrier after both Lacey and Martha sustained a couple of scratch marks apiece ("You might have used the utility gloves," Hilda sang out as she passed), Lacey stood to carry her out.

The work had been far more exhausting than she'd counted on, but at last the final van was loaded, and Lacey went to her car with her sisters and Martha to follow the van Davy was driving to the new location. She glanced fondly behind her a final time at the old building in her rearview mirror. A lot of love had been passed around there, and a lot of lessons learned. But it was time to move on.

Halen began to sneeze the minute they pulled out onto the highway.

"Oh no," Lacey groaned. "Didn't you take your Benadryl before we left the house? And remember, I told you just to take out carriers, not to touch cats."

"She didn't listen," Ariel cut in.

"Oh come on, it was one cat! And I just petted its head."

"No touching means no touching, Halen. Here." Lacey reached into her dashboard for a foil-enclosed Benadryl packet. "Good thing I thought ahead and brought one of these." She passed it back to her sniffling sister. "Because I figured one of you might not listen. Not sure why I would have guessed that or anything."

Martha chuckled, a shy, yet energetic girl who had been volunteering since the spring. "Would you like my water bottle? It's not been opened yet," she assured Halen in her mousy voice.

"Sure, thanks."

Lacey decided not to lecture Halen any more than she had, however, because it had been good of both of her sisters to give up a Saturday morning to come help with the effort. She wanted to ask Kristy along, too, but while her sisters were only moderately allergic to the creatures, Kristy was almost deathly so.

To keep the twins amused and engaged in the project, Lacey came up with a game called Stay or Go. The girls, including Martha, took turns each time a song came on the radio. The player could opt to either stay on the current popular music station, or have Lacey turn it to the next. But if they disliked the new song more than they disliked the one on the original station, they had blown their chance and were stuck listening until the end. It resulted in some laughter, and best of all, it was a great way to stop the Radio Wars she constantly had to moderate in the car.

"But it's the exact same song!" Ariel moaned and Halen laughed when the trumpeted chords of "Mambo Number Five" filled the car after the station change. "I should have a do-over!"

"No do-overs. You got what you got." Lacey winked in the rearview mirror.

The ride was soon over as the car load of girls reached the new Cat's Cradle and everyone piled out, gearing up for the second part of the move and the one that would take the longest–setting up the new kennels and making them warm and inviting enough for the cats.

It was great that Alice had found this place. They were able to fit more kennels into the bigger space, plus several more large cat trees. There was an Adoption Room where she intended to allow those considering adoption to spend at least fifteen minutes with their selected cat in order to be sure everyone was compatible with one another before going home, and a playroom for the kittens.

"Go on in, little guy!" Davy coaxed timid Malachi out of his carrier and into his kennel, using a high voice Lacey had never heard out of him before. "Look at your nice soft bed!"

"Seems like, thanks to Sundae, you're a changed man," Lacey beamed as she walked past him.

"Hey! I've always liked cats, even before I had one," Davy defended.

As she made her way back toward the van after her first carrier delivery, she caught sight of Martha examining the car keys she'd left on the counter. "Can I say something that might sound a little awkward?" the teen inquired, cheeks coloring.

"Sure." Lacey slowed down, coming over.

"Your boyfriend?" Martha held up the keychain with a small plastic-encased picture of Adam, unsmiling in his Violets' uniform, stick to the ice, looking for all the world like a badass with the intense eyebrows she loved. "...Is so gorgeous. How do you handle him being off at college all year?"

"Oh." It was Lacey's turn to blush. "Well, we talk a couple of times a week. And don't let the 'tough guy' image fool you. He's pretty sweet most of the time."

It had been about two weeks since Adam had gone back to school, and it still made Lacey incredibly uncomfortable to think about the spat they'd had right before he left. It had been intense–the most intense the two of them had ever been over a serious matter. Lacey had been frightened with the knowledge that they could butt heads so hard. How was it possible for two people so in love to have such a big argument?

But Lacey was finding it to be more possible all the time when she observed with new interest how much her mom and Stuart had words, usually over Mom's nagging. Of course, twenty minutes later they would be behaving normally again, as either Stuart had given in to her stubborn mother or he'd put his foot down and made his own decision. And while Lacey certainly didn't want to repeat anything similar to the words she and Adam had exchanged that day, it did help her feel a little relieved to see how normal it was for long-term couples to fight. But that particular fight, and the decision Adam had made, could be detrimental to his health. Lacey knew she couldn't and shouldn't nag him like her mom did Stuart, but if she didn't look after him, would he really look after himself? All of his promises that he would do so meant very little to Lacey now. He was clearly putting his hopes and wishes in front of his own health.

Yet, they'd promised to let the matter go. It wasn't as though there was any real resolution–Adam sabotaging his health, yet resenting Lacey for holding him accountable–but for now, anyway, the topic was shelved.

That very night, after the Cat's Cradle move, Lacey took a shower, washed her hair, and made her way over to her new computer. The brand new Gateway had been what Lacey considered an investment in hers and the girls' school careers. After she had thought long and hard about it and consulted with her financial advisor (Mr. Banks had, yet again, given a golden recommendation), she decided to use her next inheritance installment to purchase the PC, a thing her parents had mixed reactions about. Stuart seemed interested in sitting in front of it and pecking his way around, learning what it could do. Her mom tried it a time or so, but gave up quickly, sighing in frustration when she didn't know what she was doing.

"We're keeping it in the living room," Mom had first insisted when Lacey had told her about the decision to purchase a computer.

"I actually hoped we might keep it in my room. I mean, I'm going to use it most, and if I need to write papers, I need a quiet place to do it. The girls can come in when they need to use it, too," Lacey contested.

"Lacey," Mom raised her voice slightly. "I've read stories about girls in chat rooms meeting men twice their age and getting killed. Plus, there's pornography. Did you forget I watch Dateline? I don't want either of them using that computer unless you're in there with them."

After they came to that agreement, Lacey was relieved. She might have been the one who bought the computer, but she respected that this was her mom's house. That meant they needed to approach some kind of middle ground.

Lacey toweled through her hair as the dial-up connected, and before anything else, she logged onto AOL, smiling when she saw Adam was online. Ever since their fight, things between them had not only gone back to normal, they were…great, actually. It was as if having a big fight showed them just how easily obstacles could rise up between two people, and there was no way they were going to allow that to happen to them.

The good news was, now that Lacey had access to the internet on a regular basis, she could log onto instant messenger while writing papers, or just fooling around, and could usually catch Adam on while he himself was doing homework. Even now, he sent her a smiley face right away.

BanksAL99: :)

CatsCradleGurl_1980: hey babe. wrtng a paper?

BanksAL99: Playing solitaire, actually. I do have one to write, but not doing it til in the morning. Practice was tough.

CatsCradleGurl_1980: so was mvng the shelter but we got it done. davy helped and the girls 2. one of the lil volunteers called u gorgeous when she saw ur picture. I told hr u might b available someday so keep chckng back.

BanksAL99: Is she pretty?

CatsCradleGurl_1980: well she's like 16

BanksAL99: Nevermind, I don't want to go to jail. I guess I'll just stick with you.

Lacey chuckled, pulling the towel from her hair and picking up the comb sitting on the computer desk, running it through the damp tresses while remembering the day in San Francisco when Adam had gently taken the comb from her and done it himself. How she wished he were home again, even though he'd just been gone a couple of weeks.

BanksAL99: Do you want to call and read the book?

Lacey shrugged to herself. She and Adam had been spending a lot of time on the phone late at night as she read Perks of Being a Wallflower to him. He was surprisingly engrossed in it, listening quietly as she read page after page. She knew the phone bill was going to be atrocious despite these reading sessions taking place late at night. But she would use her Cats' Cradle money to help pay it if she had to.

CatsCradleGurl_1980: i can. U know we're almost done? i can try 2 finish it up.

And so, Lacey and Adam switched from the computer to the phone as she lay on her bed, cradling the phone against her shoulder as she held open the well-read, worn pages of the book that would appear old to the outsider, but was actually her replacement copy for the one Adam had vomited on in the cab in California. They read for close to an hour, and Lacey was beginning to drift off just as she reached the final lines of the book:

"This is happening.

I am here and I am looking at her

and she is so beautiful.

I can see it.

This one moment when you know you're not a sad story,

you are alive.

And you stand up and see the lights on buildings

and everything that makes you wonder,

when you were listening to that song

on that drive with the people you love most in this world.

And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite."

Lacey closed the book, then closed her eyes, savoring the ending, as she always did, of the story of a lonely high school boy who narrated the book through letters to a mysterious someone he went to school with. It never got old, maybe because it all just felt so relevant to being young and dealing with your life with all its twists and turns.

"That was surprisingly good," Adam murmured drowsily.

"What did I tell you?" She knew she needed to hang up and go to bed, but she didn't want to just yet, even if she'd run out of things to say.

"Lacey?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. Like…I really mean it."

She smiled, eyes closed. "And you know I love you too."

His hesitation was evident across the phone line. Lacey could tell he wanted to say more, to perhaps expand upon his declaration. But instead he finished, "Let's always do stuff like this. No matter how busy we get as upperclassmen, we gotta have time to talk. It keeps me going, you know."

Lacey's heart swelled to bursting. "Adam, we will do this forever as far as I'm concerned. You don't have to worry."

He was quiet again, but then suddenly changed the subject. "Hey! Come with us to Switzerland at Christmas."

"What?!" Lacey sat straight up. "Switzerland? Are you kidding?"

"No, I'm not. We usually go overseas for Christmas about every other year," Adam informed her. Us and Grandpa Greg. Plus, you know, Travis…" he added, lacking enthusiasm. "So get a passport and come! Because I want to be with you for Christmas, and if you don't go with me, I'm staying home."

Lacey's heart pumped faster. "Adam, I don't know, I'll need to think about it. I mean, I've never been away from home for Christmas before. But Switzerland…wow." Visions of tiny, quaint villages, snow, and warm fireplaces filled her head. What could be more perfect.

"O-Okay, I'll see what I can do."

But after they hung up, it took her exactly two minutes to come to the conclusion that she was going.

Now, how to get a passport? She pulled up the internet browser and went straight to Yahoo!.

/*/*/

"...And it's really pretty. I was thinking maybe Switzerland might be the perfect place to, you know." Adam ended the sentence vaguely, feeling awkward talking to his mom about this topic over the phone. "I wanted to put it on layaway until I talked to you about it, but I didn't."

His mom was quiet. He had just told her what he had planned for Lacey this year for Christmas, and it was a really big deal.

An engagement ring.

He was committed to a future with her, and he wanted her to know it and to own it. He had even found the perfect diamond at Tiffany's two days ago while absently browsing the displays.

"Babe, I just don't know. You know how much I love Lacey, and I can't imagine there being a more perfect girl for you. But you're both so young, and I know you don't want to hear this, but things can change. And even if they don't, what you both need to be focusing on right now is yourselves. Mapping out your individual futures, and just having fun together. I know you love her, but this is a topic you need to wait a few years to address."

Adam sighed in frustration, rubbing the back of his neck, an old habit.

Something about the situation felt urgent. Yes, he loved Lacey with all his heart and he wanted her forever. But he had also felt some sort of pressure ever since their last argument. He needed to make her realize he loved her more than anything, to make her see that holding on to him, even through his crazy dream, was worth doing.

Because if there was no symbol she could hold onto to help her remember that, no matter what he had to do to be drafted, he was always coming back to her, would she stay…?

I can't bear it if she leaves.

But Adam also couldn't bear to let his dream go and work less hard to make it come true. So he was determined he could have both if he could secure a commitment to her before he continued on his long, arduous journey to the NHL.

This has to happen.

"Mom, it's just to serve as a promise for the future. We're not going to plan a wedding yet, or talk about married life or stuff like that, it's just…I need her to know I want to be with her in the end." He heard the defensiveness in his voice.

"Son, I think you need to wait until college is over at the very least. College changes people. We've talked about this. But, you know, if you are absolutely dead set on commitment right now, why not compromise and do a promise ring?"

"A promise ring?"

"It's basically a ring that says, 'I'm committed, you're going to be in my future," but a little less official. It's a promise that one day, you're going to want a real engagement and to talk about marriage, just not right now. That way you can feel you're committing on a greater level, but you're not doing something as drastic as getting engaged. A lot of couples who are too young to be engaged opt for that. Does it make sense?"

Adam paced, holding the phone to his ear and thinking.

"Adam," his mom began again, "are you worried about something, Honey? Do you feel you need to 'secure' Lacey for some reason? Because you know that never works."

"No, it's not…I mean I wouldn't exactly say 'secure,' because that implies 'trap,' and I would never do that to her, Mom. I just want to let her know I'm serious about us. And yes, if I let her know that, the hope is that she'll hang with me during the ups and downs of this hockey stuff. Because if she knows how much she means to me…" he trailed off.

"I see. Well, on one hand, I think it's noble of you to let her know where you stand with your relationship, and commit for that not to change. But Adam, you also have to be prepared for her to change her mind at some point if she feels led in a different direction. Or for you to change your own mind. And that's okay, because you're just twenty years old."

"Mom, you and Dad met when you were twenty," Adam replied, irritated.

"We did, although I've told you it was a different time. But hey. This could very well be what destiny has for you. Just know it's also conceivable that it isn't. I'm only saying, be open to life and the path it takes you down. And opt for a promise ring, not an official engagement. I think an engagement would really put Lacey on the spot, and if we're in Switzerland and you pop a marriage proposal, talk about feeling trapped. A promise ring will have a gentler effect. Trust Mom this time."

Adam sat down on the bed, thinking. This did sound like a better, more practical way to go about committing at his age.

"Okay," he finally replied. "You're right, I'll just…do it that way."

"And there are lots of pretty rings out there," Yvette continued. "But I wouldn't go with a diamond. Save that for actual engagement."

Adam nodded to himself. "Mom…uh, thanks. For helping me get my head straight about this."

"It's what I do, Babe. You know Dad and I are on your side. He's thinking of traveling over to see one of your games after Christmas, and I want to come, too."

"Really?" Adam raised his eyebrows. Sure, his mom had come to the Ducks' playoffs his senior year, but he hadn't expected her to come again. Not to New York.

"Really. If this is what you want to do, Son…how I feel notwithstanding…then I want to support you. Okay?"

He smiled, thinking there was no way he could possibly convey exactly how much this action meant to him. "Yeah, okay."

In the end, Adam went back to Tiffany's, this time skipping over the ring he had planned to purchase for an engagement. He spent about two hours studying other rings, having them taken out of their display cases and looking at them carefully, which he was sure drove the jeweler crazy. But he wanted to pick the perfect thing. And finally, he did.

It was 24 karat gold mixed with a bit of copper to produce what the jeweler deemed a "rose gold" hue, and the stone was a round cut aquamarine, uniquely cut tiny diamonds cushioning it which gave it a subtle snowflake appearance.

Ice. It had always been the backbone of his life, and now it symbolized her, too. He recalled their skating adventures and snowy weekend at the lake house, and smiled. This was definitely the one. After asking his dad if he could move some money into his account–a hefty amount–he went back and secured the ring. Christmas this year was going to be perfect. He would let Lacey know a high school ring wasn't going to cut it anymore.

Adam had somehow managed, in the midst of all his physical chaos, to meet the girl who was perfect for him. She would be his forever.

/*/*/

"I'm telling you, we'd better be ready," Lacey hauled another six cans of beans into the house, placing them in the laundry room, her designated spot for hoarding food for the upcoming Armageddon that was being referred to by news anchors as Y2K.

"Lacey, I think you're overreacting. Bryce says they've got teams of people working on this, and I'm sure they're people that know a lot more than you or I." Her mom placed a new bag in the trash can then tossed in a fresh dryer sheet. She swore it cut down on odors, but it never did.

"But Mom, does it hurt to be ready in case they don't? I mean, computers control everything now. If it all stops–"

"Lass, it wilna 'appen, I tell ye," Stuart called into the kitchen from where he sat in the living room. "Yer takin' it way too 'ard. Ye oott t' ferget this madness an' calm doon. I dinna wan' ye t' start pullin' yer 'air."

"It's just, everything they say is possible and we have to be prepared. I have some crackers out in the car I'm bringing in." She rushed outside to retrieve them before a torrent of sleet threatened to unzip the sky and spill down, pelting her.

Lacey knew she was overreacting. But lately it just felt like something bad was coming her way, and she couldn't put her finger on what it was. This was how her anxiety worked, and she knew that, but had trouble controlling it this time around.

"So Lacey," Dr. Hemby had attempted to help her see reason. "Tell me your vision of what could happen during Y2K. Your very worst thoughts. Just let them flow, okay? They don't have to make sense."

"The electricity will go out, transportation will go down. Hospitals and doctors' offices won't be able to operate, and everybody in the hospital will die. We might freeze to death without heat and if no food can be produced, we might starve. Stuart wouldn't be able to go hunt for food with only one good leg, and none of the rest of us knows how. So we might have to resort to catching squirrels and lizards…" Lacey nearly gagged. "And Adam, all the way in New York, won't be able to get home, and he'll eventually freeze to death, too. But not before experiencing horrible pain because his medication won't be able to be produced. He'll probably suffer for dadys…" by this time, she was in tears.

Dr. Hemby listened compassionately, not even laughing at the part about the squirrels and lizards, which Lacey knew was absurd. But it was there, in her mind, and she couldn't get the image out.

Lacey, as she often did in Dr. Hemby's office, exhausted from trying to keep it together all the time, bent over and rested her forehead on her knees as she sobbed for fifteen minutes. After her tears were spent and she calmed down some, Dr. Hemby finally spoke. "Okay. Say all of this happens, Lacey. Let's make a plan for how you'll deal with it."

Her therapist really knew her stuff. The more they talked about how Lacey would handle securing food for the family if they ended up half-dead from starvation by a fire built out of cereal boxes and old bills, the more she realized that the chances of this happening were surely slim to none. But just in case, she was stocking up on food. Not too much, she told herself. She was only allowed this one corner of the laundry room. This had been a self-imposed stipulation of her gathering supplies, and it was one she'd vowed in front of Dr. Hemby to stick to.

Since she had met her dad and processed his fate, Lacey found that a good deal of the PTSD that caused her chronic anxiety had petered out a bit. But it was still there in the background, manifesting in things like the Y2K scare. She was still proud, however, because there was one major test she'd passed with flying colors.

While she'd been at the grocery store just two days before, debating whether to choose a whole crate of bottled water or fruit punch, she happened to glance down the aisle and see Max.

She knew it was him the minute she saw his stance–the way he stood straight, yet constantly shifted from one foot to the other with a restless energy. He had his arms folded, studying the sodas. Lacey looked back to the bottled water, ears on fire, hoping he wouldn't look over and notice her, too. But, of course he did. For a brief second their eyes met. Then, quickly, Max reached out and grabbed a two-liter Mountain Dew before turning around and walking away.

Just like that.

Lacey was frozen to the spot. What had she seen in his face? Embarrassment? Anger? But no, Max had only worn a blank expression. What happened to him in the correction center? Had the experience broken him? What kind of person had he emerged as?

Of course, did it matter? After what he'd done to Adam, which had caused irreparable damage, why should she be even the littlest bit concerned about Max? But there were some things she didn't want to happen to her worst enemy. And if any of the things had happened to Max that she'd heard went on in jails and prisons, she knew she would pity him. He would have been one of the youngest inmates, and even if Max could put up a pretty good fight, he may not have been able to stand up against brawny older men.

So, wishing the best for Max even if hoping he'd learned some kind of non-violent lesson in jail that could help him become a better person, Lacey took a deep breath and continued shopping. That's when she realized she hadn't had a panic attack, which seemed pretty unbelievable considering the encounter.

Just as she was rearranging her provisions corner, the phone rang and she dashed around the corner to the kitchen to grab it. "Hello?"

"Hey." The familiar voice filled her heart with sweetness. "I'll be at a team party tonight and won't get a chance to call later. I was wondering how your midterms went."

"Oh! Fine, everything went fine. You know I like my classes this term," Lacey answered absently glancing back around the corner at the cans of beans. Was that enough already, or was there room for about ten more?

"So what have you been up to?"

"Not much," she turned away from her project and began twirling the curly phone cord around her fingers. "Just got back from the grocery store."

Adam paused. "What did you buy?," he finally asked.

"Just, you know, some beans, crackers…"

"Is this still the Y2K thing?"

Lacey wrinkled her nose and mentally cursed. "Not…I mean…who couldn't use beans and crackers?"

"Lacey," he began.

"Look, I know. Trust me, I'm working it out with Dr. Hemby. I just need to humor myself a little. I have just one corner. Some people have an entire bomb shelter," she defended.

"Tell me you're not going to be obsessed with this the whole time we're in Switzerland," he pleaded. "Can't we just deal with stuff as it happens?"

"Adam!" Lacey replied testily, "there's wisdom in preparing for things. You of all people should know that."

"Well we pick and choose, you know." But Adam softened his tone. "One corner. Okay. Go for it, fill that corner. Just don't turn it into a wall."

"And I'm not talking about it in Switzerland. I promise," she rolled her eyes. "You won't have to check my hair."

Although truthfully, Lacey felt nothing but comfort when Adam looked at her hair for signs of pulling. For one thing, he never said that's what he was doing, but instead tenderly raked his fingers through it, discreetly examining the strands and eyeballing her scalp. She knew he did it because he desperately wanted her to be okay. It made her feel known and safe, whereas when her mom did it in a much rougher fashion, she just got angry.

"Good. Anyway, you've got your passport?"

"Coming any time," Lacey replied crisply. "All the preparations are made, except, do I go out and buy a parka and thermal underwear to sleep in?"

"It's not that cold," Adam protested. "Okay, well, it is pretty cold. According to people I know. I mean, we've never been there."

"I saw Max today," she blurted out.

Adam was quiet, likely experiencing whiplash from the change of topic. "Max? You did? Where?"

"The grocery store, actually. He looked at me and walked away. He seemed…I don't know. Not like the guy I knew." Lacey pondered the topic still. "I know prison changed my dad. Maybe it changed Max, too. I mean I know he wasn't there that long, but it's possible."

Adam went quiet again.

"I know you probably have no sympathy for him."

"Honestly? No, I don't. Yeah sure, there's definitely the matter of my shoulder and how this could wreck the career I've worked for my whole life, but there's also you. The things he did that I just had to stand by and watch happen." Adam was on a roll. "Him trying to push you into sex, then throwing you out of the car when you didn't give in…slapping you in that alley…"

"I know. Trust me, I haven't forgotten what a grade A jackass he was," Lacey interrupted. "What I wanted to tell you, though, is no panic attack."

"...Really?"

"Yeah, really. Isn't that awesome?" Lacey beamed. "It's like I'm getting better."

"You are. That's amazing, Lacey," Adam replied, a smile apparent in his voice. "By the way, not to change the subject…I have your Christmas present."

"Aw, you do?" Lacey twisted the phone cord a little tighter around her fingers. She couldn't seem to think what to do for Adam this year. What does a girl get a guy who already has everything he wants?

"Yes." His voice became a little softer in the way it did when he was being affectionate. "I hope you love it."

"Love it, not like it?" she teased.

"Love it," he repeated. "But if…if you don't, it's okay. I mean it's something a little different."

Lacey detected a nervousness in his voice that gave her pause. "I like different. And everything you've given me so far has been perfect so I don't think you need to worry about it. Kind of how I promise you I won't worry about Y2K."

Adam broke out in a laugh. "Okay. Because it's totally the same thing."

"All right, well maybe not quite, but worry is worry." She chuckled, then became a little wistful. "I wish…"

"You wish…?"

"That I could come there right now and we could play Zelda all over again. All night. Just have a big marathon." She wasn't sure where this particular desire was coming from, except from just plain missing him. Two and a half more years of college, and then…

Then what?

"Well, I gotta be honest," he began slyly, and she rolled her eyes, already knowing what he was going to say. "If you came up here for the night, I'd be a whole lot more interested in a different kind of marathon." She imagined his smirk.

"Okay, fine. I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did. So don't blame me for taking advantage."

Just then Lacey heard footsteps enter the kitchen and she turned, expecting one of her sisters, but finding Kristy instead.

"Oh," Kristy whispered, raising her eyebrows. "I'm sorry, I'll go wait in the living room."

"Hey! No it's okay, come on in," Lacey greeted. "Adam, I'm afraid I'm going to have to blow you off for my best friend."

"Harsh," he replied, clucking his tongue. "Okay. Call me tomorrow night, all right?"

"Sure. Have fun at your party, but don't you dare get drunk and make out with one of your sleazy cheerleaders."

Adam chortled. "Trust me, I'd rather not get mono. Alright, night."

"Night," Lacey smiled, feeling that familiar little pang that came from missing him as they hung up.

"I really didn't mean to interrupt," Kristy said apologetically as she slid into one of the kitchen chairs. "Stuart let me in, but he must not have realized…"

"Oh no! Really, it's okay. Adam and I talk plenty." Lacey went over to the fridge and took out two cans of pop. "So how's it going? It's not like you to just show up. Not that I don't want you to, of course. It just isn't your style."

"I know," Kristy sighed. "I just wanted to talk."

Kristy's tone was unusually melancholic, and Lacey sat down across from her, pushing her friend's can toward her before resting her chin in her hands. She studied her friend's long face. "What's wrong? Do you still miss Les?"

"Oh, always," Kristy gave a sad half-smile. "But that's not what it is today. It's more like, I'm sick of accompanying all these choirs. It's not a hard job, it's just becoming monotonous."

"Well, I guess so," Lacey replied in an understanding voice. "You've been doing it for over a year."

"Longer if you count church. And that one would be the hardest commitment to back out of. I mean, my dad's counting on me to play piano every week, and I think I've always felt that since Mom shattered his heart into a million pieces when she did what she did, she passed the mantle on to me to help him out," Kristy explained tiredly. "I mean, and now that I'm taking classes at St. Paul, I barely have time for it. Yes, I know I can play piano. Yes, I know I'm pretty good at it. But it's not what I want to do forever."

"Kristy, what do you want to do? Do you know?"

"Absolutely. I want to be a journalist."

Lacey stared in disbelief. "Really?"

"Really. I mean, since we've been doing One Call Away, I've begun to feel pretty passionate about writing some of these stories–changing names, of course–and explaining to people how addiction works and why it's such a difficult topic to talk about. I want to do more research into past treatments, old statistics, and all those things to come up with pieces to publish that cause people to think," Kristy detailed her plan for Lacey. "I want to start with submitting editorials to the paper, and then who knows?"

Lacey had to admit, she felt slightly jealous of Kristy. I mean, how long had it taken her to follow others' encouragement and decide on social work as a major when Kristy already knew exactly what she wanted to do and how to go about it? But she had to remember, life was different for everybody.

"Kristy, I think that's awesome. I mean, I think you have the right amount of empathy to pull this off."

"You think so?" Kristy brightened. "Then I think I just might finally know what I'm going to major in."

"Good news is, you've got lots of time if for some reason you change your mind. The first couple years of classes are pretty much the same for everybody no matter what their major is," Lacey informed her.

"True. But it'll be so good to at least know what I'm shooting toward," Kristy took a sip of her Coke. "Then I'll have to see where I can transfer to."

"And with your grades? You can probably get a scholarship and have your pick," Lacey shook her head. "I'm a consistent B's and C's girl. I never had a chance. I'm just so thankful for the money Dad left." She lowered her voice as she usually did when speaking about her inheritance when her mom and Stuart were home. They had never said it, but Lacey's intuition told her the subject might be a topic of contention for them.

"I'm actually surprised you didn't use it to transfer to NYU to be honest. Adam would have wanted you to be there," Kristy flashed a sympathetic smile. "It makes me feel kind of sorry for him."

Lacey laughed. "NYU is for peoplelike Adam. Trust me, I'm good for UM. Although make no mistake, I would give anything to be closer to him."

Kristy sat quietly for a moment, before looking back up at Lacey, a bright smile lighting up her eyes. "Thank you. For always listening to me, and for encouraging me to go for this. And for doing One Call Away with me."

"I'm just glad I could help, even if I never realized I was doing it," Lacey replied warmly. "Kristy, you have so many gifts, you can do anything. Trust me."

For the rest of the afternoon, Lacey and Kristy discussed Christmas and all they wanted to do to celebrate. "I want to put up lights this year," Kristy confided excitedly. "I'll probably have to put them up without Dad's help, though."

"But not without mine," Lacey jumped in. It always fascinated her how Kristy lived. For one, she couldn't imagine living with only a dad. It would be like if it were just her and Stuart, which, as much as she loved him, seemed strange.

So they planned putting up lights. And going Christmas shopping. And making cookies for all the Cat's Cradle volunteers. Lacey knew they'd probably planned too much, as this would all need to be done prior to the week she jetted off with Adam's family to Switzerland. But she was determined to do all they could. If not for her, for Kristy, who deserved an exciting Christmas for probably the first time in years.

And at least for now, all thoughts of Y2K were relegated to the back of Lacey's mind.

/*/*/

Ah, Switzerland bound!

Lacey's second time boarding a plane wasn't nearly as scary as the first, and she felt relaxed and ready to settle in with a good book as she slid into her window seat. Yvette and Phil once again sat behind them with Travis and his new girlfriend, a woman named Candace, sitting in front of them.

And Grandpa Greg sitting in coach.

"Why doesn't he want to be up here with us?" Lacey whispered to Adam.

"Because he's a stiff," Adam chuckled. "He thinks it's a waste of money to sit up here when there are perfectly good seats in the back."

"But he gets a complimentary drink."

Adam shrugged. "He doesn't drink alcohol."

Just then, Travis stuck his head over the back of his seat. "Hey, you guys going to join the Mile High Club?" He smirked at Lacey, and suddenly she realized that last summer, someone had heard her stupid question.

"Travis, shut up and leave us alone," Adam rolled his eyes as Lacey groaned.

Satisfied his evil work was done, Travis turned back around. He could act like such a kid to be a grown man.

Although Lacey couldn't quite fault him when she herself impishly enjoyed embarrassing Adam at times. She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder, waiting until he relaxed into her to whisper. "Wanna join?"

"Join what?"

"The Mile High Club."

Adam sat up quickly, face flushed. "No way!," he hissed. "My parents are right behind us, and Travis would never let me live it down."

Lacey only laughed, giving his shoulder a little shove. "I know, I wasn't serious!"

"And I know you, so I'm not convinced you weren't."

It was her turn to flush then, and she made a face at a smug Adam before preparing to rest her head on his shoulder again.

"One sec." He leaned forward, tugging his carry-on bag out from under the seat in front of him and unzipping it partially, reaching in and rummaging around until he either saw or felt what he was looking for. He then zipped it up again and pushed it back where it came from.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Lacey questioned. "I mean, looking in your bag that way? Are you worried you forgot something?"

"Oh, no, I just…I like to make sure I have all my stuff. It's kind of a compulsion I guess."

Lacey was pretty sure she hadn't seen him do that the last time they'd flown together, but whatever. Maybe having to be out on his own for college had caused him to be even more careful with his things.

Then…

Almost like a switch was flipped at take-off, a hollow, sick feeling unfurled in Lacey's stomach and spread its tentacles into every part of her. Something occurred to her that she'd never thought of before.

Her heart pounded in her ears and, as soon as the seatbelt light was off, she slid to the edge of her seat. Practically panting, she stood up, pushing past Adam. "I'll be right back."

"Lacey, what is it?" he looked up at her, alarmed.

"N-Nothing…" Lacey's throat locked up and she was unable to add anything else. But she heard Adam stand quickly to follow her as she sped walked down the aisle toward the lavatory. Fortunately it was unoccupied, and Lacey slipped in, Adam coming right in behind her and closing the door.

"What's happening, what happened?" He knelt down in front of her as she sat down on the toilet lid.

"I…" she gasped.

"Okay, okay." He took her hands. "Let's br–"

"We're flying over the ocean," she at last managed to squeak, a roar in her ears. "There's no land under…us…just the ocean and what if we crash and drown or sharks…nobody can rescue us…"

"Lacey, all right. Stop. Let's breathe."

But she couldn't think to slow down right now. This was something that hadn't occurred to her before, but now all she could think of was the deep, fathomless ocean and a few pieces of metal being all that held their feet from falling into it. And they'd already taken off, so now there was nothing she could do. Hot tears squeezed between her tightly closed eyelids and poured down her cheeks. She was vaguely aware of Adam brushing them away, then placing his hands on either side of her face.

"You're going to hyperventilate. Look at me. Open your eyes and look at me."

Adam's voice was soothing, close enough to Lacey's ear to cause her to open her eyes and look at him pleadingly. But what could he do about this?

"We're going to breathe. Here we go. In…"

He inhaled, and despite a difficult start, Lacey did as well.

"...Out."

For the next few minutes, she tried to sync their breathing, training her eyes on his as, very slowly, her heart rate began to decrease.

Of course just then, someone banged on the door, jarring them both.

"How long you planning on bein' in there?!," a muffled, irritated voice rang out.

"Just another minute," Adam called, turning back to her. "If you think you're okay to go sit down, we can keep doing this there."

She nodded, squeezing his hand before letting it go. He pressed himself back against the wall of the cramped quarters to let her exit first.

When she turned the lock and opened the door, the heavyset man holding a newspaper met them with a glare. But any comment he was about to make died on his lips as he apparently caught sight of her face. She imagined her nose was as red as could be and there were mascara tracks down her cheeks. They pushed past him with murmured apologies and headed back down the aisle toward their seats.

Lacey was incredibly embarrassed. The same tear-stained face she'd just shown to the man outside the restroom was the same one that met Adam's entire family as she averted her eyes, preparing to sit back down until Adam whispered, "Want me to sit next to the window? Will that make it better for when we start going over…you know?"

Lacey nodded, and Adam went around her to slip in first. Her eyes briefly met Yvette's, and the woman flashed a sympathetic smile. Everyone else was rather quiet, including Travis. It was surely evident at this point that she and Adam had hardly gone to the restroom for a sexual escapade.

All it took, however, was for Lacey to sit back down for another knot formed in her throat. But she swallowed it down, determined to grab her novel out of her carry-on and begin reading.

Adam was too good at sensing her emotions. "Would it help you to take one of your pills?"

"Probably so." Lacey closed the book quickly and began digging once again in her bag, retrieving the discreet pill case and fishing out a little yellow tablet.

"Ma'am, can I bring you anything?" A sweet, young flight attendant appeared out of nowhere beside her. "A cold glass of water? Or maybe something stronger?"

Wow. Did she look twenty-one already? Lacey hesitated in surprise as Adam spoke up.

"I think water would be great." He looked at her, eyebrows raised, and she nodded. The flight attendant smiled and was off.

"I'm sorry I spoke for you like that," Adam quickly apologized. "It's just, you got quiet for a minute and I was afraid you might take her up on the offer. And since you're about to take a nerve pill and all…" he trailed off.

"No, it's fine. I did go quiet, but it's just I was surprised she'd bring me a drink without asking for an ID." Lacey let out a forced chuckle.

Adam turned and pulled down their window cover. "Can I tell you something about what you're afraid of? Or will talking about it make it worse?"

"Nothing could make it worse," Lacey moaned, taking the glass of water from the flight attendant as she returned, thanking her. She swallowed her medication after breaking it in half so it would absorb faster, then drank about half of the water in one gulp. "So go ahead."

"The chances of a plane crashing aren't all that high when you think of how many take off and land in a day's time. Car accident risk is a lot greater. And if we were to crash, the water would be the safest place we could land. We wouldn't have a chance if we hit solid ground going this fast. But usually, planes can float."

Good point, she conceded. Although this only presented her with a whole new set of thoughts: how would anyone know what had happened? Does air traffic control see this stuff somehow and know to send someone to the rescue? What if the plane hit the water going too hard and it dove under, leaving them all to stare out the windows hopelessly as they sank deeper and deeper…

But principal among these questions was, why over the last couple of months was she suddenly so overcome with the anxiety she thought she had control over? When she returned State-side, she might have to go back to therapy every week instead of biweekly. If only for a little while.

For now, Lacey smiled at Adam. "Thanks. I mean, all that's true."

It took eleven hours to reach Zurich, which included a stop in Toronto (Phil apparently swore by Air Canada). Lacey was grateful she spent about nine hours of the trip reclined in her seat asleep, likely due to the meds. A couple of times she felt Adam shift her slightly so he could stand, probably just to walk the aisles. It was, after all, a long time to sit still. At one point she woke up briefly to see him asleep against the window, the cabin lights dim and people mostly quiet. It was nighttime, and if she could manage to sleep right through this portion of the flight which she knew was surely over the ocean now, they would be landing in the morning.

At last in Zurich (without the ocean claiming one life) and through immigration, Lacey found that everyone was being unusually nice to her, including Phil, who asked her specifically if she needed to stop for food before they boarded the train to their hotel. She thought it a strange request as they'd just had breakfast on the plane. but she smiled and told him no, thank you. Yvette combed through her hair with her fingers, straightening it out a little, and after they retrieved their baggage from customs, Candace approached her. She was a pretty redhead with beauty that was natural enough that she barely wore, or needed, makeup. This was quite the switch for Travis, as this woman possessed none of the vanity or snobbery that Heather had..

"Here's some vetiver oil." Candace slipped her a tiny glass vial. "It helps ground you when you're having emotional upset."

Lacey cringed. Was it that obvious she had been suffering on the plane from "emotional upset"? But of course it was. Why else would she have emerged from the restroom sniffling with glazed over raccoon eyes? "Oh…thank you. My aunt Rachel harvests oils." She accepted the vial and slipped it in her purse.

"She does?" Candace inquired, interested.

"Yeah. At least things like peppermint and lavender. I doubt she knows about vetiver."

"I order all of mine from a family farm, so I know they're good quality. I wish I had time to harvest some myself, but as it stands, I can barely keep my greenhouse in good shape. Also, if you can, you should invest in some crystals. They balance out your chakras," Candace informed her knowingly, as if Lacey had any idea what chakras were and why they needed balancing.

"Um…okay, thank you for telling me that. I'll keep an eye out," she smiled with gratitude for the millionth time that morning.

"Lacey," Candace began again in a low, intense voice, "feelings are odd. They can contradict each other, they can jumble together…and they can grow so intense they cause an overflow of tears. And I think that's good. Don't ever be ashamed of crying. I went through something my senior year of college that woke me up every day weeping. But those tears proved to be my gold. They got me through it. So treasure yours, okay?"

"O-Okay," Lacey replied, thinking over what Candace said as the girl moved back to Travis's side.

The gesture was very kind. How had a woman like that ended up with Travis, though? She didn't seem at all his type, Lacey marveled to herself once again.

The first thing all of them did after exchanging their money for French currency–which apparently Switzerland used–was purchase Swiss Travel Cards. Phil insisted that this was a low-cost way to travel around the country, as it covered unlimited train rides. Lacey began to understand quickly that travel by train was the most popular way to get around Switzerland. Remembering her AmTrak experience, she nearly groaned aloud, but soon found out that the trains in Switzerland were efficient and well-regulated. She watched as they whizzed past beautiful countryside and cozy-looking villages, everything covered in snow. This was, without a doubt, the perfect place to spend Christmas.

The hotel the Bankses had booked was called Storchen Zurich, a luxury accommodation.

"I think I'd have sprung for the Marriott instead," Grandpa Greg murmured to her and Adam from where he walked between them. "Save a little money. Never know when you might need it for something else. "He raised his thick, wooly eyebrows at Lacey as though he was giving her sound advice she'd never heard before. She pretended she hadn't, though, and humored him with a sincere nod. Adam rolled his eyes discreetly but gave a fond smile.

The hotel was decadent. Lacey and Adam's room was gorgeous, the view outside breathtakingly beautiful.

"I want your camera," she demanded of Adam at one point.

"Nope, no way," he replied simply. "I'd have to teach you how to use it first, and that could take hours. Tell me what you want a picture of and I'll take it myself."

Lacey clucked her tongue and shoved Adam's chest lightly. "Not the same thing."

Her heart grew much lighter as the flight was over and she was at last in this beautiful, old city. There would be so much to see and do here. And she wasn't going to let her anxiety stop the fun she would have.

Even if it meant finding someone who sold crystals at the Christmas Market and buying so many to wear around her neck that she would clink like she was wearing chains everywhere she went. If whatever her "chakras" were needed balancing, then by gosh she was going to balance them.

Who cared how she got rid of this monster, if only she could.