Gravity Falls: Life of Sammy

by I'mABigBoyNow

Gravity Falls may seem like a normal town, but in reality, it holds some of the most powerful and dangerous secrets in the entire world. Sammy didn't expect much excitement when he first moved into Gravity Falls. But when he starts work at the Mystery Shack and meets Dipper and Mabel for the first time, he will soon realize one universal truth: life is always unpredictable.

13. Chapter 13: Boss Sammy

After nearly getting eaten by a candy monster on Summerween night, Sammy and the others were more than happy to spend the next few days relaxing, although they still had to do some work around the shack, especially Sammy since he was a full-time employee. One day, while waiting for the next batch of tourists to arrive, Sammy, Stan, and the twins decided to pass the time by watching one of Stan's favorite game shows. "Ladies and gentlemen, we now return to Cash Wheel! Sponsored by Chipackerz, the chip flavored crackers!," said the TV announcer. "But they taste just like chips!," said Mabel, eating a bag of them right now.

On the screen, one of the contestants was spinning a large wheel in front of him, which eventually landed on 'cash shower.' "Congratulations!," said the host, a dark skinned man with an afro and a large mustache. "You're taking a…" "Cash shower!," the TV announcer and Stan cried out at the same time. Money immediately started raining down on the contestant who spun the wheel. When the other contestants tried to snatch some of the money, he started punching and slapping them away. "I like that guy's style," said Stan, who was really getting into the show. "I don't really get the appeal here, Mister Pines," said Sammy. He had been trying to get into the show like Stan was, but it just wasn't clicking with him. "It's just a bunch of people fighting each other like rabid animals. How did this show even get so popular?" "They're fighting over money, kid," Stan reminded him. "And let's face it, is there anything else in the world worth fighting over more?" "Love? Justice? Peace on Earth?," Sammy immediately listed. "Ha! Good one!," laughed Stan, not taking him that seriously. Sammy rolled his eyes and was about to say more, but then, Soos entered the room. "Mr. Pines! We got tourists at 9 o'clock! A whole busload of 'em!," he said. Stan quickly got up and pressed his face against the window like a child staring into a candy shop. Sure enough, a bus full of tourists was pulling up near the shack.

"Hot tamales, it's a jackpot! Soos! Make some new attractions!," Stan ordered. "You got it, boss!," said Soos as he glued a wolf head onto a chicken. "Wendy! Mark up those prices! The higher the better!," said Stan. Wendy sighed and wrote an extra zero on a price tag, changing it from two dollars to twenty dollars. "Higher! Bleed 'em dry!," said Stan. Wendy put another zero on the tag, raising the price to two hundred dollars. "Two hundred dollars for a snow globe?," Sammy asked incredulously. "Isn't that a bit much?" "Sammy, you're here to do your job, not yammer on like a bluejay!," said Stan. "Now get out here and get those tourists into the shack!" Sammy sighed and walked outside. "Eesh, Grunkle Stan. It's like when you look at tourists, all you see are wallets with legs," Dipper commented. "That's not true," Stan denied, still staring at the tourists through the window. However, if anyone could've seen through the conman's eyes at that moment, they would've realized that Stan did in fact see the tourists as talking wallets with arms and legs. Even when one of them threw up from being carsick, he imagined coins and dollar bills spilling out of his mouth. Stan rubbed his eyes. "Clean-up on the front lawn!," he said to Dipper, who groaned in dismay before going to fetch a mop and a bucket.

Eventually, Stan was leading the group of tourists through the shack, bringing them to each of his rather underwhelming attractions. The tourists, of course, ate up every word that the conman said, oohing and aahing while taking photos. Meanwhile, Sammy was given the job of following closely behind to make sure that none of the tourists tried to leave early.

"Ladies and gentle-tourists!," Stan announced with all of the grandeur of a showman. "Looking around my Mystery Shack, you will see many wondrous attractions. Be amazed at the only known photo of a horse riding another horse!" He showed them exactly what he promised, a picture of a horse literally riding another horse. The crowd muttered in excitement as they took pictures, while Sammy just stood back and watched in shock, wondering how any of them were so invested in this. "That's-That's pretty good!," said Stan, before walking over to a curtain in the middle of the room. "Be astounded by the horrible, pre-teen wolf boy!," he announced, pulling the curtain to reveal Dipper wearing fake wolf ears and teeth, and even with hair glued to his legs. "Oh! Oh, look at him! All that hair! His body's changing, ah!," Stan cried out dramatically, pretending to be horrified. Sammy couldn't help but cringe, feeling really sorry for the poor boy who was forced to play along with his grunkle's outlandish money-grab scheme.

Dipper took out his fake wolf teeth. "Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning," he said. "What? I don't know 'de meaning' of that word!," Stan joked, as he and the tourists laughed. "If you throw money at him, he dances." The tourists immediately started throwing money at Dipper, who was forced to dance while coins bounced off him painfully. "Ha ha ha! Ooh! Thank you!," said Stan, trying to catch some of the money with a jar. Sammy sighed and shook his head.

Since the tour was basically over, Sammy left and went into the gift shop, wondering if Mabel needed any help at the register. He quickly saw that Mabel was doing a pretty good job at it. "Behold! Mystery Shack bumper stickers!," she cried, holding out a bumper sticker. "You can stick 'em on your bumper, or over your husband's mouth. Am I right, ladies?" She gestured to one of the women teasingly. "She knows what I'm talking about!" The woman laughed. "Oh! You are bad! How much?," she asked. "Hey, it's on the house. That's the Mabel difference!," Mabel said, handing over the sticker. She gave a friendly wave to the woman as she left. "Thanks for visiting!" Sammy couldn't help but chuckle and walk up to Mabel. "That was really nice of you, Mabel," he said. "Thanks!," Mabel said cheerfully. "I just decided to give her a free gift for being such a great customer. No biggie." "Well, keep up the good work, then," said Sammy, smiling at her. "But make sure Stan doesn't find out about that. He'll blow a fuse if he finds out you gave something away for free." The two of them shared a light chuckle over it, but unfortunately for them, Stan had been listening in on their conversation, and he was not pleased.

"You're darn right about that, Sammy!," he snapped, walking out from behind an exact cardboard cutout of himself. Sammy and Mabel jumped in surprise. "Stan?! I-I mean, Mister Pines?!," gasped Sammy. "Have you been hiding behind that cardboard cutout the entire time? I thought you were still in the other room!" Stan rolled his eyes. "Kid, I've literally memorized the entire layout of this building like it's the back of my hand. How else am I supposed to check in on my employees without 'em seeing me coming?" He glared down at Mabel. "And what the heck do you think you're doing, Mabel?," he asked angrily. "Business! Ching ching ching!," cried Mabel, pressing the buttons on the cash register. While Sammy chuckled in amusement, Stan was far from amused. "Listen, kid. You don't make money by giving stuff away. You're off of register duty!," he said. "But, but–," Mabel protested. "No buts except yours out the door. Now shut your yap and get to work!," snapped Stan. "Mister Pines, maybe you should lay off of her a bit. She's just a kid, after all," sighed Sammy. "Hey, I'm just trying to teach my niece valuable life lessons. Like learning when to shut your mouth and do your job," Stan said callously.

"Come on, Grunkle Stan! Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'? Hmm?," asked Mabel. "Oh wait. Here they are!" She took out two colorful stickers that said please and thank you, then playfully slapped them onto Stan's grumpy face. "Wop wop!"

"Ugh. 'Please' never made me any money, kid," groaned Stan, taking off the please sticker and placing it on the cash register. "In fact, just saying the word is giving me a burning sensation." He also took off the thank you sticker and placed it on Soos' back as the handyman walked by obliviously. Then, Dipper walked in with the wolf costume still on, looking more than a little disgruntled. "Grunkle Stan, why do I have to wear this wolf costume?," he said. "I think I'm getting hookworm." "Yep. Gluing dog hair to your body will do that," said Stan, laughing. Sammy frowned worriedly. "Okay, just in case you do have hookworm now, I'll take you to the hospital after the shack closes," he said. "Oh no, ya don't!," Stan said sternly. "Do you have any idea how much the doctors over there charge? I'm trying to make money, not throw it all away just because Dipper has some illness that doesn't even exist!" Sammy rolled his eyes. "Mister Pines, a hookworm is a parasite, not an illness," he corrected him. "And honestly, how could you value money over the health and welfare of your own nephew?" "Yeah, and why are you tricking these people with your stupid attractions?," asked Dipper. "I mean, you've got all of these dumb, fake exhibits in the Shack. Meanwhile, I've seen actual, amazing things in the forest every day! What if you hunted down a real attraction instead of lying to people for a living?" "And you should be nicer to your employees, too!," said Mabel, adding in her own two cents. "Yeah!," Dipper and Sammy said in unison before the three of them high fived each other while glaring at Stan, who was already fed up with this situation. Fortunately, he had a way to get out of it.

"Look, you guys got a problem with how I run the Shack, take it up with the complaints department. Zing!," he said, holding out a trash can. "I am going to write them such a letter!," Mabel huffed, immediately taking out a piece of paper and a pen, even covering the letter with her arm while writing it. Dipper and Sammy, however, were not fooled in the slightest.

The very next day, everyone in the shack was woken up bright and early. The reason? Stan wanted them to paint the giant sign on top of the Mystery Shack with glitter, thinking that it would attract more tourists like moths to a flame. They were all dressed in dirty work overalls, the hot sun was beating down on their heads, the glittery paint was burning their nostril hairs with its chemical-y smell, and their backs were killing them. And yet, Stan was still barking orders at them from below, being the only one who wasn't helping them paint.

"And don't stop 'till you've covered that sign with glitter! Glittery signs attract tourists! Also large birds," he hollered. As if right on cue, a bald eagle flew out of nowhere and started attacking Soos, who tried to run from it despite not there being much room on the roof. "Ha ha! That's funny," Stan chuckled before walking back inside, whistling casually.

Fortunately for Soos, Sammy was able to shoo the eagle away before it could do any real damage, though he ended up receiving a few scratches and bite marks in the process. At his wit's end, Dipper angrily threw his brush down into the paint can. "Okay, is it just me, or is having Grunkle Stan as a boss seriously the worst?," he groaned. "I know, right? Why do we even put up with it?," Wendy asked irritatedly. "I don't know if it's just me, but I think Stan has gotten a lot harsher these past few days," Sammy noted, wiping the sweat from his brow. "I tried to give him a suggestion to improve the Shack once," Soos spoke up. "I had this idea where I could be, like, the Mystery Shack mascot: Questiony the Question Mark." He took out a picture and showed it to them. It was a crudely drawn picture of himself wearing a giant question mark as a costume, smiling and dancing. "I ask people questions, you know. Do the question dance." Everyone else was impressed by his idea. "That sounds amazing!," cried Mabel. "Oh, cool!," Wendy complimented. "Yeah, totally!," Dipper agreed. "That's a great idea!," said Sammy. But then, he frowned in realization. "Hold on. If you've had this idea for a while, you must have told Stan by now, right? So what happened? Did he… reject your idea or something?"

"Yeah, well… Stan said I couldn't handle it," sighed Soos. "He said what?!," Mabel yelled furiously. "He kinda… shot down my idea without even really giving me a chance," said Soos, rubbing his arm sheepishly. "He means well, but… it still kinda hurt." "That's… that's… terrible!," cried Mabel. "It's outrageous! Horrific! Unspeakable! How could he do something like this?!" "Uh oh," said Dipper, his eyes growing wide. "Everyone, back away! Mabel doesn't use big words like that unless she's really angry." They all took a step back as Mabel continued fuming. "That's it!," she finally said. "I'm gonna go down and have a talk with Grunkle Stan right now!"

"Hold on, Mabel," Sammy said calmly, placing his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "I'll go talk to him. I've been meaning to bring up his… questionable work ethics to him for a while now. Let me handle this, guys." The others let out an excited "oooh!" as Sammy climbed down and walked into the shack. It didn't take long for him to spot Stan, who had just finished up leading around the new tourists. "And remember, folks! We put the 'fun' in 'no refunds!'," the con man hollered after them as they left. "Ha ha. Suckers," he snickered to himself.

Sammy cleared his throat loudly to grab his attention. "Sammy, what the heck are you doing in here?," asked Stan. "Aren't you supposed to be painting the sign with everyone else?" Sammy sighed heavily. "Mister Pines, we need to talk," he said firmly. Stan rolled his eyes, but complied anyway. "Alright, fine. Let's talk in my office, then," he said, before leading Sammy into his office. Once when they were inside, Sammy began to vent out his frustrations. "Soos just told us about how you rejected one of his ideas," he said. "And that brings me to all the issues I have with how you're running this place. You don't listen to your employees, you're constantly making us do things we don't want to do, your whole business literally revolves around you lying to people who trust you… and I can honestly go on and on if you want me to."

"Trust me, Sammy, I don't," Stan snarked. "Look, kid, let me break it down for you. Being a boss is about commanding respect. If you give people everything they ask for, they'll walk all over ya. And I know my way of doing business ain't exactly reaching your standards, but hey, you can't deny that it's making me a ton of cash every day." "Yes, but that's your problem, Mister Pines," Sammy sighed in exasperation. "For you, it's always money that takes top priority. What about more important things, like honor and integrity? Don't you ever keep those in mind when you're running the shack?" Stan raised his eyebrows in bewilderment. "Honor? Integrity? You do know I run a tourist trap, right? Besides, do you really think you know more about business than I do? You think you could wear this hat?" He pointed to the fez sitting on his head.

"Mister Pines, you're not getting it," sighed Sammy. "I'm not questioning your ability to run a business. I just think you should go about it a little… differently. I mean, I've been trying to give you all kinds of tips and advice since I started working here, and you never acknowledged any of them!" Stan chuckled condescendingly. "Listen, Sammy, the reason why I don't take your advice is because I don't need it. As my employee, you're paid to shut your yap and do what I say, not lecture me on how I'm supposed to be running my business. Heck, I'd even make more money on vacation than you would, running this place!," he bragged. By that point, Sammy was starting to grow really irritated by Stan's stubbornness. Maybe it was because of Stan's attitude, maybe it was because he had just been toiling outside on a hot day, or maybe he was still a bit miffed on Soos' behalf. Whatever the reason, it made Sammy a little bit more… confrontational than usual. "Then maybe you should go on vacation!," he suddenly snapped. Stan stared at him in surprise for a moment, then leaned back in his chair as a sly smile slowly formed on his face. "Interesting… All right, I'm a wagering man." The conman took out his alarm clock and set it to 72 hours. "3 days. 72 hours," he said. "You run the Shack, and I'll go on vacation. If you make more money than me, I guess it means you're right about the way I run my business. BUT if you lose, uh, you…" Thinking for a moment, Stan quickly took out a white T-shirt and scribbled the word LOSER on it with a marker. "You gotta wear this 'LOSER' shirt all summer!"

Normally, Sammy would've preferred to avoid making unnecessary bets, but in this case, he felt a bit more confident than usual. "Alright. But if I win, you have to run the Mystery Shack my way from now on! That means taking all my advice, replacing your fake attractions with real ones, and to stop swindling your customers, no matter how gullible they are! Oh, and let Soos be the mascot. That's really important too," he said. Stan barked out an amused laugh. "Whoa ho! I didn't know you had this much spunk in you, kid! You got yourself a deal!," he said, holding out his hand. "Deal!," said Sammy, shaking Stan's hand aggressively. "Deal!," Stan yelled even louder. "Deal!," Sammy yelled just as loud. The two of them glared into each other's eyes while squeezing each other's hand as hard as possible. A few moments passed. "...okay, you can let go of my hand now, kid," said Stan, starting to wince. Sammy's eyes widened and he quickly let go. "Whoops! Sorry," he apologized, smiling sheepishly. "I have a really strong grip." "Yeah, I can tell," Stan said in a deadpan voice, rubbing his hand while still wincing in pain.

Later that day, Stan had already packed up his belongings and was loading them in his car. Sammy and the others were right outside the shack with him. After he finished loading up, Stan climbed into his car. "See you in 72 hours! We'll see who makes more money," he said, then threw his fez at Sammy's feet before driving away, laughing. "Sammy, did you just make a bet with a professional con man?," asked Dipper, looking up at him in confusion. "No offense, but I'm kinda surprised. I'd expect Mabel to do something like that, not you." "Heh. Yeah, I would totally do that!," giggled Mabel. "I'm just as surprised as you are, Dipper," said Sammy. "I really didn't expect things to turn out this way. I guess we'll have to make the most of it. Still, I'm a bit worried about this. Stan's a… morally gray businessman, but he's still a businessman, and he's pretty good at what he does. I just hope I'm not in over my head about all of this…"

"Relax, Sammy! Being a better boss than Stan will be a cinch," said Mabel. She held up a large glass jar, which was soon going to be filled up with money. "Profit, here we come!," she cried. Then, in true Mabel fashion, she accidentally dropped the jar, which shattered onto the ground. "You broke the jar," Dipper pointed out. "We'll get a new one," said Mabel.

"You know what? You're right, Mabel," said Sammy, calming down. "All I need to do is make more money than Stan while he's on vacation. And come on, how much money could he possibly make while he's on vacation? What's he going to do? Get on Cash Wheel?" The three of them had a good laugh over it, not knowing that Sammy just jinxed them all, something that he has already done quite a few times without knowing it. "So I guess we'd better get started, then," said Sammy. "I wonder how I should go about this…" "Wait, hold on. Sammy, you mean you don't even have a concrete plan?," Dipper asked worriedly. "Uh… no, not really," Sammy confessed. "In fact… I have no idea what to do…" Suddenly, Dipper began to hyperventilate. "Oh, no. This is bad. If you don't even know what you're supposed to do… then Grunkle Stan's going to win the bet! And I'll have to wear that wolf costume for the rest of summer! I can't go back to wearing that, guys! I just can't!" Sammy and Mabel stared at him in shock and worry, since they had no idea the costume affected him that much. "All that hair… all those rashes…," he whimpered. Sammy knelt down to Dipper's level and looked him in the eye while placing his hands on his shoulders. "Dipper, I promise with all of my heart that you will never have to wear that accursed thing again. I promise," he said. Dipper slowly started calming down. "Okay… I'm feeling better now… whoo! Sorry for freaking out just now, guys," he sighed heavily.

"It's alright, Dipper. Just promise not to do that again, okay? It… actually scared me a little," said Sammy. "I won't," Dipper promised. "Anyway, where were we…? Oh, yeah! Sammy, you have no idea what to do, right?" "Not a clue," said Sammy, shrugging. "Hmm. Then maybe you shouldn't do this alone," said Dipper, putting on his metaphorical thinking cap. "I think you should have someone else to help you with this. Like a partner, or… an advisor, maybe. Now the question is, who should that person be? Soos? Nah, he's more likely to mess things up, even if his heart's in the right place. Wendy? I mean, as cool as she is, I can't really see her being good at business of all things. So maybe I could be your partner? Well, I'm organized, thorough, and I could make a mean list. I wonder who else is left, though? Hmm…"

"Me," Mabel suddenly whispered with stars in her eyes, causing Dipper and Sammy to look at her in surprise. "Uh… you?," asked Sammy. "Me!," Mabel cried excitedly. "I could be your partner, Sammy!" "Um… are you sure about that, Mabel?," Dipper asked skeptically. "I mean, do you even know anything about running a business?" "Nope!," Mabel said enthusiastically. "But I do know how to endear the customers with my lovable charm!" "I… wouldn't exactly say that…," said Dipper, thinking back to all the times when Mabel wasn't so lovable or charming. "Please!," Mabel begged, staring up at Sammy with big eyes. "I just want exactly what you want, Sammy! I wanna prove Grunkle Stan wrong! I wanna show him that it's always better to be nice to people than being a big grumpy grump all the time! Can I be your partner? Pleeeaaase?!"

"Okay, okay!," Sammy laughed, amused by Mabel's dramatic performance. "Of course I'll let you be my partner. I can't exactly run this place on my own, can I?" "Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!," cheered Mabel, hugging Sammy. "I have to get ready! Where are my shoulder pads?!" She ran into the shack, giddy as a hamster on sweets. "Did I hear that right?," Sammy asked, looking at Dipper. "Shoulder pads?" "Long story," said Dipper. "But Sammy, are you sure you should let… Mabel be your partner? No offense to her, but she's not exactly an expert when it comes to… well, anything even remotely serious." "Have a little faith in your sister, Dipper," said Sammy. "With her help, I'm sure we'll fill that jar up with profits in no time."

Later that day, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos were called into Stan's office. Upon entering the room, they saw Stan's chair facing away from them. For some reason, there was also a smaller chair next to it, which was also facing in the other direction. "You wanted to see us, Mr. Pines?," asked Soos. Stan's chair turned around, and to their surprise, Sammy was sitting in it, wearing Stan's fez. "Hello, my dear employees," he said cordially, a small smile on his face. "Hey there, Sammy," said Wendy, raising an eyebrow in bewilderment. "Uh… where's Stan?"

Then, the smaller chair next to him turned around. Sitting in it was Mabel, who was wearing large glasses and a blue suit with shoulder pads. She scooted her chair towards the desk, clasped her hands together, and looked down in sorrow. "Stan is no longer with us," she said in a melancholy voice. "He's dead?," cried Soos, falling to his knees. "No! It should have been me!" "Whoa! Soos, calm down!," gasped Sammy. "Stan's still alive! He's just on vacation for three days." "Maybe I should've worded that better," Mabel chuckled with a sheepish smile. "You think?," Dipper replied sarcastically. Soos quickly got up and wiped his eyes. "Thank you for that clarification," he said. "Anyway, let me explain this really quickly," said Sammy. "After our little talk in this very office, Stan and I made a bet. As your new boss, if I can make more money than he could while on vacation, then he has to run the shack my way. Or the right way, which is pretty much the same. But if he wins, then I have to wear a loser shirt for the rest of summer. As you can tell, the stakes are very high." "That means we're in charge now, since Sammy picked me to be his partner!," cried Mabel. "Mabel, you literally begged to be his partner. And are you seriously wearing those shoulder pads?," asked Dipper. "Uh huuuuuuh!," said Mabel, shaking her shoulder pads playfully. "It's just one of the many up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book that Sammy and I found propping up the kitchen table." She showed them a book that was titled Succeeding In Management 1983, which was clearly old and outdated.

Then, Sammy decided to drink from a mug on the table that said "#2 boss" on it, which immediately caught Dipper's attention. "Why does your mug say '#2'?," he asked, pointing at it. Sammy looked at the mug in confusion. "Huh. I'm not sure," he said. "Maybe it's some kind of typo or…" "It's because…," Mabel loudly spoke up, interrupting Sammy, "...the real #1 is you!" She held up a mirror that showed their own reflections, causing them to laugh and feel rather pleased about themselves. "Morale!," cried Soos. "Uh, yeah, I was… totally going to say what… Mabel just said," said Sammy, forcing out a laugh. "A-anyway!" He stood up from his chair and walked up to a handwritten poster on the wall, which also had colorful crayon drawings of stars and unicorns on it. "With me as your boss and Mabel as my partner, there's going to be some changes around here. Together, we made a list of ideals that everyone is going to follow. We call it SELVES. You can thank Mabel for the little drawings." Mabel smiled proudly and waved. "Our job is to help all of you to be your best SELVES," Sammy continued on, gesturing to the poster. "And what does 'SELVES' stand for? It stands for Satisfied, Everyday, Loving Life, Very Much, Everyday, Satisfied! Again, you can thank Mabel for coming up with that acronym."

"Great listening ears so far!," said Mabel as she went around and stamped thumbs up stickers on Dipper, Wendy, and Soos. "Waddles, hold my calls!" She handed a phone to her pet pig, who also happened to be in the room. The pig grabbed the phone in his mouth and started chewing on it. Then, the group left Stan's office and walked into a gift shop. "Alright, now let's get to work!," said Sammy, clapping his hands together. "Let's start with you, Wendy. What can I do to make this work environment more comfortable for you?" "Hmm, well, Stan never lets me hang out with friends at work," said Wendy. "Then it's a good thing I'm not Stan, is it?," Sammy said with a smile. "Your friends can come by anytime they like. If it doesn't get in the way of your work, of course." "Sweet!," cheered Wendy, pumping her fist in the air. "And Soos… Mabel and I have a little surprise for you," said Sammy. Mabel walked towards a nearby cabinet and pulled out a giant foam question mark costume. "Questiony the Question Mark?! I wish this was an exclamation point to show how excited I am!," cried Soos, accepting his new gift.

"And Dipper…," said Sammy, holding up the dreaded wolf costume. Dipper's eyes went wide as he could already feel the effects of his PTSD kicking in again. The itchy hairs… the bad smell… those uncomfortable teeth… Not you, Sammy! Not you too!, he thought.

"Dipper, I want you to take this costume… and burn it," said Sammy. Dipper gratefully accepted the costume and stared up at Sammy with teary eyes. "With pleasure," he whispered shakily, his heart swelling up with more joy than he had ever felt in his entire life.

…he really hated that wolf costume. Like… really, REALLY hated it…

"And that's not all," said Sammy. "I want you to go into the woods… and find me a real attraction." "R-really?!," cried Dipper. "And… y-you don't mind?" "I think you can handle it," said Sammy, giving Dipper a proud smile. That was all that Dipper needed to hear. "Finally! I won't let you down, Sammy! Time to show Stan how a REAL mystery hunter does it!" He ran off, grabbed a nearby flail, and opened a window. "Dipper out!," he cried as he climbed through the window, only to suddenly fall over due to the unbalanced weight of the flail. "Dipper?!," gasped Sammy. Dipper poked his head through the window, his hair a bit ruffled and filled with twigs, but other than that, he was unharmed. "Heh, I-I'm okay!," he said, before running away.

"Alright everyone, let's get to work!," said Sammy, drawing a line on the jar. "This line is going to be our goal. In the next two days, we're going to fill this jar with–" "Six hundred billion dollars!," Mabel chimed in. Sammy stared at her, then smiled. "You know what? Why not? The sky's the limit, guys!," he cried. "Wait. Do you know how money works, Mabel?," asked Wendy. "Of course," said Mabel, just as Waddles entered the gift shop. "Waddles, run down to the shop and grab me a latte," she said, handing him a dollar bill. The pig immediately started eating the bill out of Mabel's hand. "Whoa!," giggled Mabel, feeding him another bill. "He's a hungry little guy." Wendy gave Sammy a weird look, and the latter could only shrug sheepishly.

As the day went on, more tourists started to visit the shack. To Sammy's surprise, things were actually going pretty smoothly. They were making money at a steady pace, and everyone left the shack feeling satisfied. The best part was that Sammy didn't have to resort to lying and cheating like Stan did. For a moment, he believed that things were going to turn out just fine in the end. But of course, some problems started to rear their ugly heads very soon…

While checking on his employees, Sammy decided to see how Mabel was doing. She was currently showing the latest group of tourists out as they each dropped a handful of cash in the jar that Mabel was holding out. "Thank you! Ha ha! See you soon! Tell 'em Mabel sent you!," she thanked each of the customers as they left. "Looks like you've been filling up that jar pretty quickly, Mabel," said Sammy after the tourists left. "I know, right?!," Mabel cried excitedly as she held up the jar. "Look! We're already a third of the way there! We're gonna fill up this entire jar full of money in no time!" "That's the spirit!," Sammy said encouragingly. Right then and there, Dipper suddenly emerged from the woods, and to their surprise, he was dragging a giant bag that was far larger than himself, and even more alarmingly, the bag was moving.

"Guys! I captured something! This is gonna blow those tourists away! Ha ha!," said Dipper. "Dipper, that's great!," said Sammy, eyeing the bag warily. "But… are you sure that whatever's in there is… safe?" "Safe?," Dipper scoffed. "Please, you can't get any safer than–" Before he could finish his sentence, the creature inside of the bag suddenly grabbed Dipper by the arm, causing them all to scream. Sammy immediately leaped into action and punched the monster in what he assumed was its face multiple times, until the monster finally let go. "Are you okay, Dipper?!," he cried, quickly checking Dipper's arm for any injuries. To his surprise, he saw no broken bones or even any bruises. "I'm fine," said Dipper, pulling his arm away. "It's not the first time it's done that while I was dragging it all the way over here." Sammy was relieved to hear that, but at the same time, he started to have some reservations about bringing their new attraction into the shack. "Dipper, I'll be honest," he sighed. "This is kind of–" The word he was going to use was "dangerous", but Mabel suddenly butt in. "Marvelous! Marvelous work, valued employee!," she cheered, causing a proud smile to form on Dipper's face. He looked at Sammy for his opinion, and suddenly, Sammy found it much harder to say no. "Uh… yeah. Great work, Dipper," he said, trying not to sound awkward. Luckily, Dipper didn't seem to notice.

Suddenly, Mabel gasped when she saw something - or rather, someone - walking from around the corner. "Who's that? Is it Questiony the Question Mark?" Realizing that Mabel must be talking to Soos, Sammy turned around to face the handyman. "Ah, Soos. How are you liking the costume–? Oh, goodness!," he gasped. Soos stood in front of them with an uncomfortable grimace on his face. "Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this, guys. I keep forgetting my lines. And this costume is more um… revealing than I expected?," he said.

"I'll say," Sammy murmured, staring at Soos in his new costume. The handyman was wearing the giant foam question mark, just like in the drawing he made, but for some reason, that was the only thing he decided to put on, other than his socks and underwear.

"So… what do you think, Sammy?," Soos asked uncertainly. "Should I still go through with this? I mean, you're the boss." "Well, that may be true, but I'm not going to force you into doing anything you're not comfortable with, Soos," said Sammy. "If this isn't what you want, then you don't have to wear it." "Really, dude?," asked Soos, sounding a bit hopeful. "Whoa, hold the phone!," said Mabel. "Sammy, you can't just tell Soos to give up on his dreams like that! That's what Stan would do! You don't want to be like Stan, do you?" "Mabel, I don't think Soos even wants to go through with this anymore," sighed Sammy. "Nonsense!," said Mabel, walking up to Soos and patting him on the cheek. "Soos, don't give up. Anything is possible when you…" She paused and quickly flipped through the management book. "...imaginize it!" "But I don't know what that means," Soos protested weakly. "Ssh. Ssshssssshshsshsssh," Mabel shushed as she rubbed her finger around Soos' face. "Believe in yourself…" Then, she walked away. "Bu– but I…!," cried Soos, but Mabel had already gone inside the shack, leaving him outside in the wind. "So-so cold…," he shivered. "Soos… you know that you can just… put on some more clothes, right?," asked Sammy. "You didn't have to strip down to your underwear when putting on your costume… Why did you do that, anyway?" "The world will never know," Soos replied ominously. Then, he started walking away. "Soos!," Sammy called after him, but Soos ignored him and kept on walking, shivering and muttering to himself. Sammy sighed and shook his head. Sometimes, I wonder what goes on in that guy's head, he thought, walking back into the shack…

…only to be met with nothing but chaos. It was loud, the whole room was a mess, and Wendy had apparently invited her friends - Lee, Nate, Tambry, and Thompson - over. Instead of working like she was supposed to, Wendy was kicking around a shrunken head and passing it along to her friends as though they were playing soccer. "Yeah! Keep it going!," cheered Wendy. Before Sammy could say or do anything, one of them kicked the shrunken head a little too hard, causing it to fly towards and hit a little boy right in the face, making him cry. "Billy! Your face, it's ruined!," cried the boy's mother. Sammy gasped and ran towards them. "Ma'am, I am so sorry about that," he said worriedly. The mother glared at him. "This is unacceptable! I demand to see the boss!," she growled. Sammy gulped nervously. "Y-you see, the thing is… I kind of… am the boss," he said awkwardly. The mother scoffed and turned her nose up. "Hmph, you seem rather young to be running this place. Nevertheless, I demand to be compensated!" "Of course!," said Sammy. He ran over to the profits jar, which had been placed next to the register, and held it out to the mother. "Here, have a refund," he said with a forced smile. The mother grabbed a handful of money from the jar, then took out even more money, before furiously stomping out the door with her son in tow. Sammy was almost certain that she had taken more money than she had actually spent at the shack, but didn't say anything. Instead, he turned his attention to Wendy with a disappointed look on his face. "Wendy, what was that all about?," he asked.

"Well, things were getting kind of slow here, so I thought I'd invite my friends over. You did say I could do that," said Wendy, shrugging. Sammy sighed heavily. "Yes, I did say you could invite your friends over… as long as it didn't interfere with your work. I'm sorry, but unless your friends are here as customers, they need to go. And you should clean up this mess while you're at it." "Whoa, all this rule stuff's starting to make you sound like Stan," said Wendy.

Sammy was about to tell Wendy that he didn't really give a fig about sounding like Stan, but before he could do so, Mabel suddenly ran between them. "Wait, no!," she cried anxiously. "I'm nothing like Stan! I-I mean, Sammy's nothing like Stan! In fact… take the rest of the day off?," she asked nervously. "With full pay?," asked Wendy. "Of course," Mabel said, laughing nervously. Wendy smiled and gave her a thumbs up. "You know, I think you could learn a thing or two from Mabel, Sammy," she joked before leaving. Once the teenage lumberjack was out of earshot, Mabel breathed a sigh of relief. "Mabel," said Sammy, causing her to squeak in surprise and spin around to face Sammy, who was looking down at her with his hands on his hips and a stern look on his face. "What was that?," he asked irritatedly. "I was trying to help you!," Mabel answered with an oblivious smile on her face. Sammy sighed again. "Listen Mabel, I appreciate you trying to, um… help me, but I had that under control," he said. "But Sammy, you were being too hard on Wendy just now," said Mabel. "What? I was being too hard on her?," Sammy asked incredulously. "She literally made a mess of the shack and refused to clean it up, and she kicked one of those shrunken heads into a kid's face! Mabel, I know you really don't like how Stan ran the shack - on that front, we can definitely agree - but you have to admit that there's still merit in putting your foot down and… well, being a bit harsher than you're comfortable with."

"No way!," said Mabel, shaking her head. "The whole point of the bet was to prove to Stan that your way of running the shack is better than his, right?" "Well yeah, but–," Sammy tried to say before he was interrupted again. "So how are you going to do that if you start acting just like him?," asked Mabel. Sammy wanted to argue with her, but he had to admit that there was some truth in Mabel's words. After all, in order to prove someone else wrong, you have to show them that your way is better than theirs, not follow in the other person's footsteps.

"I… guess you're right," Sammy conceded, even though he really didn't feel too happy about it. "Of course I am," Mabel boasted, giving Sammy's face a small pat. "Don't worry about a thing, Sammy. Just listen to Boss Mabel, and everything will be a-okay!" Then, she walked away with a light bounce in her steps, humming a tune. Sammy was now by himself in the gift shop, a slightly hurt look on his face. "But… I thought I was the boss…," he murmured sadly.

"...I'M QUESTIONY THE QUESTION MARK!," a loud voice yelled out from behind him, causing Sammy to spin around and instinctively punch the person in the abdomen. Soos, still in his question mark costume, fell to the floor and cradled his stomach painfully, rocking back and forth. "Soos?! Oh my god, I am so, so, so sorry!," Sammy apologized, mortified by what he had just done. "Aw dude, it hurts so bad!," cried Soos, moaning and wincing in pain.

After quickly making sure that Soos was okay, Sammy sent the handyman upstairs to rest for a bit, then went to check how Dipper was doing. He went into the room where most of the shack's attractions were and saw the preteen excitedly leading around a man and a woman, presumably a couple. Noticing the large cage in the middle of the room which was covered with a large cover, Sammy decided to remain at the sidelines and watch, curious as to what Dipper's new attraction could be. "Ladies and gentlemen!," said Dipper. "My name's Honest Dipper, and unlike my cheating uncle, I have something to show you that isn't a hoax! It nearly killed me getting him into that cage, behold, part gremlin, part goblin, the Gremloblin!" With a dramatic flourish, he took off the cover, revealing a large, green monster with red eyes, sharp tusks that jutted out from its lower jaw, a flat face, and pointy ears. It roared and rattled the bars of its cage in anger, then spat out the skeletal remains of a human arm. Sammy couldn't help but stare at it in shock and awe, and at that moment, his heart swelled with pride for Dipper. He gave Dipper a large smile and a thumbs up, which the preteen enthusiastically returned. However, the couple was not nearly as impressed. "Well, that's fun," said the man, clearly not taking Dipper or his new attraction seriously. "It's fake, honey. You can see the strings," said the woman, rolling her eyes. "What?! Those aren't strings, that's body hair!," Dipper cried in bewilderment.

However, the couple had already moved on. "Oh, look at this, dear. The Six-packalope," said the woman, observing a small statue of a muscular man with the head of an antelope. The man laughed and snapped a photo of it. "Wordplay!" Sammy was just as bewildered as Dipper, if not moreso. How could these people find one of Stan's fake attractions more interesting than a living, flesh-and-blood creature? "No, everything else here is fake," Dipper protested, pulling the couple back to the Gremloblin's cage. "This is a real paranormal beast. Hey, fun fact about this little guy, if you look into his eyes, you can see your worst nightmare." Hold on, what?, Sammy thought in alarm. Then, the couple stared into the Gremloblin's eyes out of sheer curiosity, and the monster's eyes suddenly widened and turned yellow, staring right back at them.

"Amazing, right? I work for tips," Dipper said proudly. When he received no answer, he looked at the couple and realized that their eyes were now glowing, just like the Gremloblin's, and their faces were frozen into expressions of sheer terror. Sammy quickly ran over to them and waved his hand in front of their faces, as well as snapping his fingers in front of them. They didn't respond in the slightest. Realizing his mistake, Dipper hissed and slowly backed out of the room. "I'm gonna… call an ambulance," he said, before running out of the room. Sighing heavily, Sammy picked up the man and the woman, and placed them against the wall like they were stiff planks of wood, then covered up the Gremloblin's cage while making sure to avoid eye contact with it. Eventually, the paramedics arrived and wheeled the couple out of the shack on gurneys, the latter still frozen in terror and muttering nonsensically. Fortunately, none of the paramedics bothered to question Sammy or Dipper about what happened, nor did they bother to investigate the covered cage in the middle of the room. After they left, Sammy saw Dipper sitting alone on the porch, staring at the disappearing ambulance with a disappointed look on his face. Sammy went and sat down next to him, with neither of them saying anything for a while.

"Well, I just made two people go insane," sighed Dipper. "...yep," said Sammy, not even bothering to sugarcoat it. "But other than that… I thought you handled that pretty well. Your new attraction was amazing and your presentation was flawless. I have no idea why that couple was so uninterested. If I was your customer back there, I would've had my mind blown."

Dipper gave Sammy a grateful smile, glad that Sammy was still supportive of him. Then, Mabel walked up to them, looking tired and disheveled. She had finally gotten rid of her suit and shoulder pads. "You okay, Mabel? You don't look too good," said Dipper, noticing her fatigued state. "I'm so tired. I gave Wendy the day off so I had to do her job," sighed Mabel. This caused Dipper to look at her in confusion. "Hold on. You gave Wendy the day off? Isn't that something only Sammy can do since he's, you know, the boss?," he asked. Sammy winced. "Let's just say that recent events have forced me to question whether or not I really am… boss material," he muttered in a slightly bitter tone. "Okaaay…?," Dipper said awkwardly, still confused but decided not to pry. "Well, maybe you both need to start being a little tougher around here."

"No way, that's what Stan would do!," said Mabel, shaking her head. "I just need to think positive, be friendly, and everything will work out fine." Suddenly, as if on cue, the wall of the shack burst open, revealing the Gremloblin, which had somehow escaped from its cage. The tourists screamed and ran out of the shack as the monster started wrecking and destroying everything in its path. Thinking quickly, Sammy grabbed the twins under both of his arms and ran into the living room, hiding themselves from the Gremloblin's view. After making sure that they were all safe, Sammy unceremoniously dropped the twins to the floor and grabbed tufts of his hair, finally at his wit's end. "What just happened?!," he yelled. "That's what I'd like to know!," said Dipper, getting up and brushing himself off. "I mean, how did he even get out of his locked cage?!" "Well…," said Mabel, looking away guiltily. "I… may have given him the key in case he needed a break or something…" "YOU GAVE HIM A BREAK?!," yelled Dipper.

"He's an employee… sort of," said Mabel. "We've got to round him up. Where's Soos?," asked Dipper. "I accidentally punched him in the gut, so I sent him upstairs to recover," Sammy said in an emotionless voice, causing the twins to stare at him in confusion. "Oh… Oh!," Mabel suddenly cried, her eyes turning wide with realization. "Okay, guys. Please don't get mad… well, madder than you already are… but I thought he was having a bad stomach ache, so I told him to take a soothing nature walk." Dipper stared at his sister with wide eyes and his jaw hanging open, while Sammy leaned against the wall and slid down onto his butt, then buried his face in his hands and let out a slightly hysterical laugh, the one that adults often made when under a lot of stress. "Of course… because nothing can ever go right for me," he muttered.

The twins exchanged worried looks, but before they could say anything, they noticed that the television was turned on, and to their surprise, they saw none other than Stan on the screen. "Uh, Sammy?," said Dipper, pointing at the television. Sammy looked up and stared in bewilderment at his own employer being broadcasted as one of the contestants on Cash Wheel. "Ladies and gentlemen, Stan Pines is poised to become our grand champion! Anything to say to your fans out there?," asked the host. "See you tomorrow night, Sammy!," said Stan, picking up the loser shirt and holding it up to the camera as he laughed. "I don't believe this…," murmured Sammy, slowly shaking his head in bewilderment. "I know," Dipper agreed, peeking into the gift shop. "How are we going to deal with that Gremlo–?" "He cheated!," Sammy cried angrily as he glared at the television. "Yeah– wait, what?," asked Dipper, doing a double take.

"Stan cheated!," Sammy huffed, crossing his arms. "He never told me he was going to play on that stupid game show! No wonder he was so confident about the bet! I bet he had the whole thing planned from the very beginning! Now I'm going to have to wear that dumb shirt for the rest of the summer!" "And we have a monster wrecking everything in the gift shop right now," Dipper reminded him. Sammy only sent a passing glare at the Gremloblin. "Oh yeah, that too," he muttered. "Well, we can't just stay here and do nothing! He's awarding himself stickers that he didn't even earn!," cried Mabel, staring in horror as the Gremloblin found her stickers and started putting them on his face. Dipper quickly took out his journal and flipped through it until he found the section about the Gremloblin. "Uh, got it! When fighting a gremloblin, use water…" Mabel immediately ran up to the monster with a glass of water in her hand and splashed it onto his face as Dipper turned to the next page. "...only as a last resort as water will make him much much scarier!" "What?! Who writes sentences like these?!," cried Sammy. He looked and saw the Gremloblin grow even larger than before, as well as grow spines from its back. "Mabel, get back in here!," he yelled, waving her over frantically. Mabel quickly ran back into the living room just as the Gremloblin burned down a cuckoo clock with its newfound fire breath.

"If we ever find the author of that journal, I'm going to have a serious talk with him about his writing!," groaned Sammy. "Don't worry, that thing's gotta leave eventually!," Dipper assured them. However, that turned out not to be. Even after waiting for what felt like hours, the monster just. Won't. Leave. After it finished covering its face with all of Mabel's stickers, it then decided to amuse itself by playing a singing fish toy over and over again, to the point where Sammy and the twins were growing sick of that tune. "I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin'," the fish sang repeatedly every time the Gremloblin pressed a button on its plaque.

"Ughh, why doesn't he just leave?," groaned Mabel. "He's been playing with that fish thing forever. It's honestly giving me a migraine," muttered Sammy, rubbing his head with his fingers. Meanwhile, the Gremloblin finally grew tired of the fish toy and began sniffing around for anything else it could use to entertain itself. It spotted the jar of profits on the table and started eating the money straight out of the jar. Mabel saw what was happening and was mortified. "Our profits!," she cried, throwing all caution to the wind as she ran into the gift shop. "Mabel, wait!," Dipper and Sammy called after her, but to no avail. "Stop, stop!," Mabel yelled at the monster, who looked at her and grabbed her in its massive hand, causing her to scream.

"Don't look into his evil eye; you'll see your worst nightmare!," Dipper hollered. "I wish we had an evil eye to show him!," yelled Mabel, defiantly glaring into the Gremloblin's eyes despite Dipper's warnings. Then, the Gremloblin's eyes started glowing yellow, just like when it stared into the eyes of the couple from earlier. Mabel's eyes turned into a similar color as a look of pure terror slowly formed on her face. She tried to escape, tried to shut her eyes or look away, but for some reason, she couldn't. It was as though she was stuck in a permanent trance.

Then, out of nowhere, Sammy jumped and latched onto the Gremloblin's chest with a look of pure fury on his face. In his hand was a shard of broken glass that he had picked up off the floor. With sudden and terrifying brutality, he stabbed the glass shard into both of the beast's eyes, causing pitch black blood to spurt out like little fountains. The Gremloblin roared in agony and dropped Mabel, then sprouted large wings and flew away. It crashed into the totem pole on its way out since, well, it could no longer see where it was going. Sammy ran outside and threw the shard in the Gremloblin's direction. "THAT'S RIGHT! AND YOU STAY OUT!," he screamed like a man possessed. He stood there and watched the Gremloblin disappear into the horizon, breathing heavily. Then, he turned around and walked back inside. The entire room was a total mess, and all of their hard earned profits had been eaten, but Sammy didn't care about any of that. Instead, he was fixated on the twins in the middle of this disaster. Dipper was hugging his twin sister to his chest tightly, and the normally bright and perpetually happy girl was sobbing into his shoulder, her little frame shaking and shuddering as she wept profusely.

"What happened?," asked Sammy, even though he already knew the answer. "It was the Gremloblin," Dipper said sadly, rubbing Mabel's back. "It showed Mabel her worst nightmare… I don't even want to know what she saw, to be honest…" Then, as if things weren't bad enough, Wendy and Soos decided to pick now of all times to show up. "Hey guys! Am I nuts, or does this place look different?," Wendy asked jokingly. That mood quickly vanished, however, when she saw Mabel crying while being hugged by Dipper. "Whoa… what's going on with Mabel? I-is she okay?," she asked worriedly. "Yeah, dude. What happened while we were gone?," asked Soos, who was just as worried. Sammy sighed heavily. "It's a long story, and… not really something I want to delve into right now," he said tiredly. "Look, we'll handle this on our own. You two should take the rest of the day off. I'll see you guys on Monday, okay?" Wendy and Soos exchanged worried glances. "Um… okay, dude. Hope you guys get through… whatever this is. Come on, Soos," said Wendy. The two of them walked out of the shack, still looking back at them with sad and worried looks. Once they were gone, Sammy sighed and looked around at the huge mess that they made. Then, he took off Stan's fez and held it in his hands, staring at it.

After a while, Dipper could feel Mabel slowly calming down, her shaking lessening and her crying growing silent. "Are you okay, sis?," he asked quietly. Mabel nodded with her face still buried in Dipper's chest. She slowly lifted her head up, her eyes wet and slightly red. "I'm okay," she mumbled. Even though Dipper knew that Mabel had gone through something rough, he was still curious as to what his sister actually saw when she stared into the Gremloblin's eyes, but he knew that asking her about it would be a bad idea. Instead, he slowly let go of Mabel and looked around. "Yeesh, this place is a wreck," he said. "What should we do now, Sammy?"

But there was no answer. "Sammy?," Dipper asked, looking in his direction. Sammy had his back to them, completely silent. He was still staring at Stan's fez, and if the twins had been on the other side, they would've seen that Sammy's face was unreadable. "Sammy? A-are you okay?," Mabel asked worriedly, wiping the tear streaks from her face. After a long while of not saying a thing, Sammy murmured something under his breath that neither of them could quite catch. "What?," asked Dipper. "...my father was right about me," whispered Sammy.

Then, with a yell of frustration, Sammy threw Stan's fez against the wall, causing it to crumple up against the wall and fall to the floor pathetically. Then, without looking at the twins, he stalked past them and stomped up the stairs. After a few moments, they heard the door to their room slam shut. They looked at each other, wondering how it all went wrong…

At first, the twins waited for a few hours, hoping that Sammy just needed some time to himself after the hectic day they all had. But after those hours had passed and Sammy still did not come back down, they went upstairs to check on him. They slowly opened the attic door by a small crack and peeked inside. Due to Sammy closing the blinds beforehand, the room was really dark. Sammy was laying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. He heard the door creak open and slowly turned in his bed to look at the twins. "Hey, guys," he said in a soft, melancholy voice. "Hey, Sammy," said Dipper, as he and Mabel crept into the room. "Do you… want us to open up the blinds and let in some sunlight?" "Nah, keep them shut," said Sammy. "I like it this way." He rolled onto his back and continued to stare up at the ceiling. "We, um… we know you had a hard day and all, but maybe… you could come down and help us clean up the gift shop?," asked Dipper. "Just leave it as it is," sighed Sammy. "We'll clean it up tomorrow."

"But Sammy, we won't have time for that. Grunkle Stan's coming back from his vacation tomorrow, remember?," said Dipper. "Yeah! What about the bet?," asked Mabel. "...I don't care about the bet anymore, guys," Sammy finally admitted. "What?!," the twins cried. Out of all the things they expected to hear, this was not one of them. "Why are you so surprised?," Sammy sighed tiredly. "This place has been a total mess after Stan left. Ever since I became the new boss, nothing has gone right for me. I thought I could do this, but… I just can't."

Then, Sammy pulled his sweater up over his head. "Um, Sammy? What are you doing right now?," Dipper asked in confusion. "Sammy's not here right now. He's in Sweater Town," mumbled Sammy, his voice muffled by the sweater. "Can… can you come out of Sweater Town, Sammy?," asked Dipper, feeling a weird sense of deja vu. Sammy shook his head.

The twins glanced at each other, having no idea what to say. They were about to leave again, hoping that giving Sammy more time to himself would help, but were stopped cold by what Sammy said next. "Dad was right. I really am useless. A useless THING."

Mabel suddenly spun around and gasped so sharply that it actually startled Dipper. She immediately ran over to the blinds and pulled them up, filling the room with sunlight once again. Then, she jumped onto Sammy's chest, causing him to let out an oomph, and roughly pulled his sweater back down. "Sammy! Don't say that! Don't you ever say that ever again!," she almost screamed into Sammy's face. Sammy looked up at her in bewilderment. "Bwuh?," was the only thing that came out of his mouth. "Whoa! Mabel, what the heck are you doing?," asked Dipper, but Mabel's attention was focused entirely on Sammy. "I don't know where this mopey attitude is coming from, but you are gonna stop it right now!," she yelled, sounding livid and distressed at the same time. Sammy rolled her eyes. "I'm not being mopey, just realistic," he sighed. "And can you get off me? You're sitting on my chest, and it's making it a little hard to breathe."

Mabel complied and moved to the edge of Sammy's bed, but she wasn't done with him just yet. "I know you're going through some rough stuff right now," she continued, her voice now slightly softer than earlier. "I know you feel like you're just messing everything up, and you can't do anything right. But that's what your brain is telling you, and your brain is wrong! Don't listen to your brain or your dad, Sammy. Listen to your heart!" She firmly placed her hand over Sammy's heart. "And what's your heart telling you right now, Sammy?" Sammy stared up at Mabel in total bewilderment, wondering if she was playing a joke on him. But judging by the stern look in her eyes - which was very jarring to see, especially in a usually happy-go-lucky girl like Mabel - this was no joke, or at least, not to her. Sammy glanced over at Dipper, but he appeared to be just as confused as he was. Realizing that Mabel was waiting for an answer, Sammy decided to play along. He closed his eyes as he listened to his own heartbeat, feeling Mabel's small hand on his chest. "It's telling me… to not give up?," he said questioningly, forcing an awkward smile. Mabel shook her head. "It's telling you that you're a person. A living, breathing person who has his own hopes and dreams! Someone who makes mistakes along the way, but will always stand back up and keep going! Are you gonna let one bad day take all that away from you? Are you gonna let your mean dad keep telling you that you're useless and a thing, even though you're not? Even when he's not even here? Are you?!" Sammy stared up at her, lost for words. He could actually feel tears prickling the back of his eyes, and could feel his heart beating a little bit faster. "I… I don't know what to say," he said. "Mabel, do you really believe in me that much?"

"Of course I do," said Mabel, smiling sadly. "You're one of my best friends." Sammy smiled back. "Well… thanks. That was… one heck of a pep talk, Mabel," he said. "Yeah, I'll say," Dipper spoke up, his eyes wide with shock. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk like that before. You sounded so much more… passionate than usual." "Oh. Heh, sorry about that, guys," Mabel apoligized, smiling sheepishly. "I guess I got a little carried away…" "No, it's fine. I'm glad that you told me all of that," Sammy reassured her. "But I think I still need a little more time to, um… process all of that. You've given me a lot to think about." Then, a sudden realization struck him like a lightning bolt. "Goodness!," he cried, suddenly sitting straight up. "Mabel, I am so sorry!" "Huh? Sorry about what?," asked Mabel, tilting her head. "Kẻ ngốc!," Sammy spat. "I was so absorbed in my own self-pity that I completely forgot about you! I didn't even make sure if you were alright! Are you alright?! How do you feel?! Did the Gremloblin hurt you?!"

"Oh. That's okay, Sammy. And yeah, I'm alright," said Mabel. "The goblin guy grabbed me, but it didn't really hurt me…" "No. Mabel, I didn't mean physically, I meant mentally. How are you mentally?," Sammy corrected. "...oh," said Mabel, wincing. "Well, in that case, I guess I'm… fine. I mean, I could be better." "Are you sure?," Sammy asked worriedly. "You stared into the Gremloblin's eyes, Mabel. You saw your own worst nightmare. …I don't mean to pry, but… what exactly did you see?" Mabel started quivering, her fingers digging into Sammy's mattress so hard that her knuckles were turning white. Fortunately, Dipper quickly came to her rescue. "She doesn't want to talk about it," he said quickly. "It's… kind of a very sore subject for her, if you know what I mean." "Yeah, I know," Sammy said softly, nodding. "You don't have to tell me, Mabel. But if you ever change your mind… I'll be there for you, okay?" Mabel's shivering quickly lessened, and a fragile smile grew on her face. "Okay," she whispered gratefully.

Deciding to give Sammy some more time to himself, the twins were about to leave the room again. But then, Mabel stopped just as she was about to walk out the door. "Dipper, you can go. I want to tell Sammy something real quick," she said. Dipper nodded and left, and his footsteps could be heard walking down the hallway. Mabel turned and walked up to Sammy's bedside. "I want to apologize too," she said quietly. "I had some time to think too, and I realized that… I basically stole your job from you, Sammy. You were supposed to be our new boss, but I was so excited about being your partner and proving Grunkle Stan wrong that… I guess I just let all that power go to my head. I'm sorry." She lowered her head in shame. "Oh… really? I… didn't even notice, to be honest," said Sammy. Mabel looked up at him in shock and confusion. Then, after a few moments, she started snickering. "Wow, you're pretty bad at lying," she said. Sammy started snickering as well. "Yeah, I know," he said. "But don't worry, I forgive you."

"Oh, and one more thing," said Mabel, taking out Stan's fez. She placed it on top of the dresser. "I'll put it right here, just in case," she said. Then, after offering him one last smile, she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Sammy alone with nothing but the fez and his own thoughts. So he continued to lay on his bed while pondering over Mabel's words. It's nice of her to say all these things about me… but what am I supposed to do now?, he thought to himself, staring up at the ceiling. Mabel wants me to keep going and not give up, but it's not that easy, is it? Even if I get up from this bed and put Stan's fez back on right now, it still won't change the fact that… I'm not a good boss at all. Now that I think about it, I don't know the first thing about running a business! What was I thinking? Did I really think I could run the shack better than Stan could? Stan, who's probably been running this place for years?

Sammy rolled onto his side and stared at his phone, which was laying on top of the small dresser right next to his bed. I'm way in over my head here. I need advice. He took his phone off the dresser and dialed in a number that he hadn't called in a long time. He held the phone to his ear as it rang, waiting for the person on the other end to answer. Eventually, he heard a click on the other end, then a voice that he hadn't heard in a while. "Hello? Who is this?" The voice was old and raspy, yet it still sounded strong and authoritative. "Hey, Carlson. It's been a while," said Sammy, feeling a fond sense of nostalgia. "Sammy boy!," Carlson cried out from the other end of the phone, elated to hear from his old friend after all these years. "It has been a while, ain't it? You haven't called in years! Where the heck were you, kiddo?" "Sorry," Sammy apologized. "It's been… kind of rough for me these past few years…" "I'm sorry to hear that," said Carlson. "But you're doing fine now, I hope?" "I'm doing fine. Great, even! I'm staying in this small town in the middle of Oregon. It's called Gravity Falls. It's… a pretty interesting place, to say the least," said Sammy. "Gravity Falls, eh? So you're finally settling in? No more traveling around like a lost bird in the wind and rain?," asked Carlson. "That… remains to be seen," said Sammy.

"So what is it, Sammy boy?," Carlson asked eagerly. "We haven't talked in years, and I don't think you'd be calling me just to catch up on old times. Oh, let me guess~! You've finally changed your mind and decided to come back into the fold! I'm right, ain't I?" "No… not exactly," Sammy said nervously. "See, I'm calling you right now because I need some advice on… how to run a business…" There was a tense silence on the other end of the phone. "Please don't take this the wrong way! I-I'm not saying I've changed my stripes or anything like that! This is just a summer job, I swear! And I'm not even getting paid for it!" The silence dragged on, and it was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. "...well, alright," said Carlson. "No need to act all panicky. I understand completely." Sammy breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks for being so understanding," he said. "I'd… better start from the beginning." "I think you'd better," said Carlson.

So Sammy proceeded to fill Carlson in about the bet that he made with Stan. He told him how pretty much everything went wrong since day one, and how he was almost at his wit's end and desperately needed advice. He didn't tell him about the Gremloblin, of course. In fact, he made sure not to mention anything that could give Carlson even the slightest idea that Gravity Falls was supernatural. Instead, for his story, he replaced the Gremloblin with a gas leak and how Mabel got severely sick from it, which added a further layer of guilt onto his own feeling of incompetence. When he was done, he waited for Carlson's answer. Somehow, he could already envision Carlson inside his vast mansion, a half-empty glass of wine sitting next to him, an old gramophone playing The Four Seasons by Vivaldi in the background, and of course, Carlson himself, sitting in his favorite velvet couch in front of a roaring fireplace, dressed in a silk robe, holding the phone in one hand while using his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nostrils and sigh in aggravation. Sure enough, he could hear Carlson let out a deep, heavy sigh.

"I'm a bit disappointed, Sammy boy. I thought you'd be smarter than that," said Carlson, causing Sammy to wince. "I know," the latter sighed. "I guess it was pretty stupid of me to think that I could run this place better than Stan could." "It was," Carlson said bluntly. "You and I both know that you don't have the first clue when it comes to running a business. Need I remind you what happened all those years ago? The reason why you left in the first place?"

"It was too cutthroat for me. You know that, Carlson," Sammy said defensively. "Really? Because from what I recall, that's exactly how you were in your earlier days. Why, you were a visionary back then, Sammy boy! Since the first time I laid eyes on you, you knew exactly what you wanted and how you were going to get it! You were a go-getter, that's what you were! And best of all, you never took sh*t from anyone, not even ol' Sergeant Brute! Whatever happened to that Sammy?," Carlson chuckled. Sammy could feel his temper rising a bit, but did his best to control it. "He was a bully, Carlson, plain and simple. And if you're just going to keep making me feel bad about myself, then I may as well hang up right now!," he snapped angrily.

"Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a twist," Carlson chuckled. "So let's get back on track. You made a bet with this conman, but you messed everything up, and now you want my advice. That's the gist of it, am I right?" "Yeah, that's pretty much it," said Sammy, calming down. "So… do you think you can help?" Carlson sighed. "Listen, kiddo. As much as I want to help you out of this pickle, I can't, because I got no advice to give," he said. "Running a business doesn't come with its own rulebook, Sammy boy. Everybody's got their own way of doing it. You just got to find yours, that's all." "But how?," asked Sammy. "I don't know anything about–"

"For goodness sake, Sammy boy, use your head!," growled Carlson. "Think back! When was a time when you were in control? When you were in your element and actually knew what you were doing? Listen, I'm getting another call right now, so I'll leave you to it. Hope everything goes well for you, alright?" Before Sammy could say anything, Carlson hung up.

Sammy sighed and put his phone down. For a while, he mulled over Carlson's words. "When was the last time I was in control?," he thought aloud. He thought long and hard. Then, all of a sudden, it finally came to him. Now that I think about it, I do remember a time when I was in control… but… should I? I mean, this is a tourist trap, not a military base. He looked over at Stan's fez, which was still sitting on the dresser, right where Mabel left it for him.

A determined expression formed on his face. It can't be helped, he thought grimly, before finally getting off his bed. He walked over, picked up the fez, then went to the mirror and looked at his own reflection as he slowly placed the fez back on his head. He didn't notice it before, but it fit his head surprisingly well. I tried doing it the nice and easy way, and it blew up in my face, he thought. It's time to go back to my old roots. If this won't work, then nothing will.

In just under an hour, everyone - Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos - found themselves waiting in the gift shop, which was still a huge mess. Both Wendy and Soos had gotten a call from Sammy, telling them to come over as soon as possible - Sammy had exchanged phone numbers with them on his first day of work. The twins were also called over to the gift shop, though neither of them had any idea what this was about. As a matter of fact, none of them knew what was going on, or why Sammy wanted all of them to wait here.

When Wendy and Soos came over, they immediately asked Mabel what had happened to her and if she was fine. Mabel assured them that she was, though it was clear that looking into the eyes of the Gremloblin had done a pretty big number on her. Still, she did her best to hide it and continued to be her cheerful self, even if it was now a bit… diluted.

Eventually, Sammy marched downstairs, and the others knew that something was about to go down. For one thing, Sammy had actually marched downstairs, which was something that they never really saw him do before. Also, he had his arms folded behind his back, and he was standing as straight as an arrow. He was wearing Stan's fez once again, but strangely enough, he also had a whistle hanging around his neck, and considering how rusty it was, it must have been very old. Sammy's demeanor was completely different from before. Instead of standing and walking normally, he moved as though he was being watched and graded for every single movement he was making, and the look on his face, which was usually nice and calm, was now replaced with a stony expression. He seemed to scrutinize the others with cold, piercing eyes. It was a jarring transformation, to say the least. Since Sammy hadn't said anything yet, Soos was the first one to speak up. "Uh, Sammy? You're acting kinda… different, dude."

Suddenly, without any warning, Sammy grabbed the whistle hanging around his neck and blew into it loudly, causing everyone else to cover their eyes in surprise. For such an old and rusty whistle, it seemed to work as though it was brand new. But what shocked them even more was what came out of his mouth next. "Quiet!," he shouted. "Did I give you permission to speak?!" Soos froze, shock and fear plastered onto his face. "Uh, uh…," he stammered. "And why are you stuttering like that?! You're not in preschool, private! Now drop down and give me twenty!," yelled Sammy. "Uh, t-twenty what?," Soos asked nervously. "Twenty jelly beans? But I've only got five on me right now, dude! O-okay, that was a lie. I only have four. I ate one before coming here…" "Not jelly beans, push ups! Drop down and give me twenty push ups, private!," yelled Sammy. Soos immediately got down and frantically started doing push ups, although his form was terrible and he was already getting tired after doing two of them. "Whoa, is it just me, or did Sammy become way more intense than before?," Wendy whispered. "I know, right? And why did he call Soos 'private'?," Dipper whispered back. Unfortunately for them, they weren't as discreet as they thought they were. "I can hear both of you!," yelled Sammy. "I just told Soos not to speak without my permission, and you two are already doing what I said not to do!" Dipper and Wendy immediately straightened up like statues, sweating nervously. "S-s-sorry, Sammy!," cried Dipper. "Y-yeah, sorry Sammy!," said Wendy. "We just thought you were–"

"Quiet!," Sammy shouted again. He began pacing around, his arms still folded behind his back, as though he was about to give them a stern lecture… which he did. "Listen up, all of you! Today, I've realized that–! That's enough push ups, Soos, you can get back up now. Today, I've realized that I've been far too lenient with all of you! Well, that ends now! If you thought working for Stan was bad enough, then you're all in for a nasty surprise! There are going to be changes from here on out! Huge changes!" Suddenly, he spun around and pointed right at… "Wendy!," he yelled, causing her to yelp and tense up. "From now on, unless your friends come here as paying customers, they aren't allowed to step one foot in this shack! Understood?"

"Y-yes, Sammy! I mean, sir! Boss! I meant boss!," cried Wendy, saluting. Sammy nodded in satisfaction, then turned to his next target. "Soos!," he yelled. "I-I'm Soos!," cried Soos. "Don't ever wear that stupid question mark costume ever again, got it?," Sammy demanded. "It's weird for the customers, and it's uncomfortable for you! Burn it along with Dipper's wolf costume, and for goodness sake, why do you still not have your pants on?" "I kinda threw it to some wolves… and they ate it…," Soos replied sheepishly. "Then buy one from the gift shop!," snapped Sammy. "And I don't care that you're one of my employees, if you're buying something, you're paying for it!" Then, he turned to face Dipper, who shrunk back in fear. However, Sammy's tone was much softer with him than with Wendy and Soos. "Dipper, it's obvious that nobody in this town seems to appreciate the supernatural as much as we do. So you'll have to improvise," he said. "Okay… but what do I show them?," asked Dipper. "Real magic just freaks people out."

"I'm afraid that's your problem, Dipper. Not mine," said Sammy. "But you have a good head on your shoulders. I know you can figure something out." Finally, he turned to face Mabel, who was looking up at him in both fear and awe. "Mabel," he said, "I know you've gone through something… rough. And I know that you're still reeling from it. But… if you want, I could still use someone as business-savvy as you to help me run this place… partner." He held his hand out to her, a small part of him hoping that she would accept. Mabel stared at his hand. Then, a big smile - a genuine one - slowly appeared on her face. Sammy couldn't help but smile with relief when Mabel grabbed his hand and eagerly shook it. Then, Sammy blew into his whistle again. "Alright, people! Stan's coming back soon, so it's time to get to work! We'll start by cleaning this place up!," he yelled. "You heard him, guys!," cried Mabel, now reinvigorated, and held up the empty profit jar. "We've got seven hours to turn this around! Let's go, people!"

After that, it was pandemonium, but in a good way. It turned out that Sammy's rather terrifying speech was all they needed to finally get things moving again. After cleaning up the gift shop, they decided that their previous ways of running the shack didn't work at all, so they switched up their game by going back to the tried-and-true methods from before the bet took place. Basically, they started doing what Stan would've done if he were still here.

So Dipper dressed up in Stan's outfit, with the black tuxedo and the eyepatch, and showed the tourists around to view the fake attractions strewn all over the shack. Soos even volunteered to be one of those attractions as the 'horrible giant question baby', which was a very clever idea on his part. It worked wonders, and before long, all of the tourists were pretty much throwing their money away. And of course, Mabel was there to collect all the profits in the jar, Wendy stayed at the cash register, and Sammy made sure that nobody stepped out of line or slacked off. Just a few minutes before the deadline, the jar was completely filled.

"We did it! We filled the whole jar!," cheered Mabel, as everyone else cheered along with her. "Now hold on, everyone," said Sammy. "Remember, we still need to pay for all the damages that the Gremloblin caused." The others stopped cheering, and their faces grew uncertain. "Oh, yeah," Dipper said nervously. "But we'll still have enough money after the damage has all been paid for… right?" "Well… there's only one way to find out," said Sammy, who was feeling just as nervous as everyone else. So they proceeded to dump out all of the money and calculate how much was left after the damages had been paid off. Dipper typed everything into a calculator as Sammy wrote the numbers down on a piece of paper. "Minus the money to replace the furniture. And supplies to fix the shack, that leaves us…," Dipper muttered, before finally getting the final result. "One dollar," Mabel bemoaned, staring at the single dollar that was left in the jar. "...Well, at least we tried our best," said Sammy, trying to sound positive and optimistic.

Suddenly, Stan burst into the room, holding up his alarm clock, which had finally reached zero. He had a big grin on his face. "Tick-tock! Time's up, kids!," he said. "Oh, no!," cried Mabel. Stan looked over at Dipper and nodded in approval when he saw what his nephew was wearing. "Nice to see you learned how to dress while I was gone," he said. Sammy sighed heavily. "Let's get this over with already, Mister Pines. How much did you win?," he asked sadly.

"I won $300,000!," Stan declared, causing Sammy and the others to cringe, since they had no idea he won that much money. "And then… I lost it all," he sighed, the grin on his face vanishing in an instant. To say that the others were shocked was an understatement. "Hold on, what?!," cried Dipper. "Yeah, what?!," cried Wendy. Stan groaned and proceeded to explain. "So I entered the bonus round, and I got to guess a word and win double the money, or risk losing all of it. You kids can piece together what happened." Sammy felt a small spark of hope. "So… you guessed the word wrong?," he asked hopefully. "Hey, it wasn't my fault!," snapped Stan. "It was a 'magic' word that people apparently use when they ask for something 'politely'! How the heck was I supposed to guess that?" "Oh! You mean… please?," Mabel asked teasingly, pointing at the please sticker that was on the cash register. "Apparently that word can make you money," said Stan, rolling his eyes. "So, wait," gasped Dipper, quickly coming to a realization. "If you lost everything, then that means… Sammy! You won!" "Y-yeah… yeah! I guess I did!," cried Sammy, bursting with pride. "We did it!," everyone else except for Stan cheered loudly.

"Wait. What did we win again?," asked Soos. "Well, according to our bet, I guess I gotta run this place the way Sammy wants me to…?," said Stan. "But I ain't giving back refunds to all the people I've suckered! That's where I draw the line!" Sammy thought about it for a moment, then smiled at Stan. "Actually… you don't have to do any of that, Mister Pines," he said. "Eh?," asked Stan, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "But what about the bet?" "I've changed my mind," Sammy clarified. "Being in charge of this place was, no offense, absolutely miserable. I didn't know the first thing when it comes to business, and everything I did only ended up backfiring on me!" "It's true!," Mabel spoke up. "This place was cuckoo bananas until Sammy started barking orders at people like a total psycho." "...thanks, Mabel," Sammy deadpanned. "But my point is, I think it's best if I let you take the helm. You know best, after all… even if I still find some of your methods a bit… unscrupulous." He took off the fez and handed it back to Stan.

Stan chuckled and put the fez back on. "Yeah, well, I got to admit, it's kind of nice to be back, ya know? Soos, Wendy; get to work! Ahem. Please. Uhh! Still hurts." As Wendy and Soos went back to doing their old jobs, Stan suddenly turned his attention to Mabel. "You alright, kid? Did something happen while I was gone?," he asked. Mabel froze and looked down at her feet nervously. "I'll take that as a yes," Stan said gruffly. "Wait. Mister Pines, how–?," asked Sammy. "Her eyes are red from crying. Come on, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out," said Stan as he rolled his eyes. Then, he knelt down in front of Mabel and tilted her chin up. "Come on. You can tell anything to your Grunkle Stan. Ya know that, right?," he asked, a hint of concern in his voice. Even Wendy and Soos stopped what they were doing momentarily and listened in.

Mabel shuddered for a moment, then looked up at Stan with teary eyes. "I… I… I had a nightmare. A bad one," she said in a fragile voice. Stan slowly nodded. "Why don't ya come into my office with me? You can tell me all about it there," he said. Mabel nodded.

As Stan and Mabel walked towards the office together, Dipper looked up at Sammy with worried eyes. "You think she's going to be alright?," he asked. "I'm sure," said Sammy, putting on a brave face. "It's probably nothing that a little therapy won't fix. And besides, she'll always have us by her side." Dipper nodded and smiled sadly. "Yeah… always…," he said.