Reason this chapter is so late to Fanfiction? I'm posting two in one day to make up for the recent lateness over here! Hope you enjoy, 11k all together, and it's some silly stuff!

Yes, dear diary, you heard it right. The day had been utter whomps so far, through and through. Gretchen was right, however. We needed a plan, thanks to my sudden sense of empathy. Gr-OSS.

Alas, cest la vie. My options were to whine and cry about it, or try to solve it. And I couldn't cry since it would have ruined my Monday Mascara ™!

Don't get too tense now, diary! This is Ashley A you're talking to after all! I ALWAYS know what to do! And I did! Brace yourself, because THIS is how I came up with my latest brilliant plan: A Stupendously Scandalous Scheme 2!

Ugh. And here I thought there couldn't be a sequel I didn't like.

Nope, nope! Stay confident, Ashley! This crunk isn't over till the fat lady sings!

Plus, it's still an Ashley A plan! It will work out perfectly in the end!

Oh, but here I am, keeping you in suspense! Here, let me cut to the chase:

It was gym class. 'Like, great. A garbage cherry on top of the LO-ser fro yo of a day I'm having.', Ashley A grumbled, while she, Ashley B, Ashley Q and Ashley T all tried to succeed at the rope climbing exercise.

Ashley A, who was notoriously bad at such things, attempted to climb, but quite half-heartedly, leading to her barely climbing above her own height. Sliding down in melodramatic pain, she cried 'Oh, coach! I'm, like, suffering a rope burn that ISN'T fashionable at all! My hands can't be dainty and envy-inducing if they sting with owchie!'.

The coach rushed to Ashley's aid, lest he get sued again. He seemed like he was gritting his teeth and holding back some sort of expletive, but Ashley couldn't imagine why. She had clearly tried her hardest!

Ashley B, who had only managed to climb a little higher than Ashley A, slid down, taking the opportunity to talk to her. Taking out some sparkling water from her Sabrina The Teenage Witch backpack (she knew it made Ashley A jealous, even if the latter did love her Hello Kitty backpack), she downed it and shook her hair, inducing certain boys to shyly wave at her. 'Hmm, it seems like everyone is distracted by someone.', Ashley B bragged, sassily smirking at Ashley A, who was still receiving treatment for her hand (read: a bowl of freshly picked strawberries).

Ashley A, popping in one, rolled her eyes, not caring for the attention grabbing attitude. 'I already got my share of praise. Did you not see how crazy they all went for my pink jumpsuit?', Ashley A bragged, twirling a little, gaining a few claps from some boys to her side.

Ashley B scoffed, stealing a strawberry from Ashley A's palm just when she was about to eat it. 'That was SOOOOO 5 minutes ago.'

'Literally!', Ashley T added, not even looking at the other two. She was busy not climbing at all, watching in awe as Ashley Q climbed all the way up with ease, kicking back one foot and making a "Pinkie out" gesture, then sliding down gracefully like a ballerina. Landing on the ground, Ashley T clapped quite enthusiastically as Ashley Q bowed. 'It's literally no big, I guess I was just born talented.'

'Hmmph! Ever since you did well on that ONE kickball game, you act like you're Sherly Swoopes!', Ashley B complained, holding her nose up in the air.

Ashley A and T scratched their heads, confused. 'Like, who?'

'Ugh. WNBA? Come on. I'm not into icky sports, but she's kind of a big deal.', Ashley B commented, unimpressed.

'...', Ashley A and T shrugged, genuinely unsure. Ashley Q, meanwhile, seemed quite interested in the roof. Perhaps there was a cute boy strapped up to it. Yes. That would be a plausible excuse.

'Girls?', Ashley B stated, even more unimpressed. 'WNBA? Like NBA? But for ladies?'

'NBA? Isn't that where they show George Clooney being mega hot in a hospital? Oh, and Chandler! I love rude, funny people!', Ashley T squealed, Ashley Q chuckling at that. 'I actually prefer quiet people, like… Well, no one on Friends is, but you get what I mean. Maybe Monica, kinda. Stupid Rachel always seems to take her spotlight.'

'Right? She's pretty too!', Ashley T agreed with Ashley Q, and the two bounced a bit while holding hands, giggling.

Ashley A nodded, agreeing whole heartedly. 'Friends and ER are VERY gucci. Productive meeting, guys, we've proven that Ashley B judges us too harshly.'

Ashley B face palmed, struggling to believe her friends. 'THAT'S NBC! NBA IS BASKETBALL!'

'...Oh, yeah.', the three other Ashley's realized, blushing a bit.

'Yes, Basketball! You know what that is, right? Or do I have to explain to you the concept of a ball as well?', Ashley B remarked with disgust. 'I don't even like it, I'm just making an example of how Ashley Q is being all weird and dumb and distracted about something!'

'Oh, yeah, duh, I know basketball! Like, because I hate it, eww!', Ashley Q defended herself, not liking the accusation from Ashley B. Ashley A scratched her chin in the meantime. 'Oh, yeah, I know basketball! My favorite player is Bugs Bunny! He and Lola are SO cute together! But like, MLP G1 cute, not MLP G2 cute, BIG difference!'

'THINK FAST!', someone shouted, as a ball spun towards Ashley Q in super speed. Narrowing her eyes, she grabbed the ball, spun in the air, and threw it the length of the court into a three pointer.

'CALL ME A SON OF A… I MEAN… GOSH GOLLY GEE WHAT A HIT!', The coach cried, while Ashley Q smugly smiled at the applause she received, the loudest coming from a wide eyed Ashley T.

'...What do you call THAT?', Ashley B pointed at the basket.

'A slam dunk. Duh! I thought YOU knew about Basketball!', Ashley Q bantered, looking down at Ashley B with a smirk.

'In the name of all which is Melissa Joan Hart, I'm talking about the fact that you are acting weird about sports recently! Just like a certain member of our group is acting weird today about her project! Subtle association!', Ashley B explained, eying Ashley A.

Ashley Q and Ashley T stared at each other, then at Ashley A, then at Ashley B. '...Is… Is the one acting weird you?'

'I swear I'm this close to saying the W word!', Ashley B threatened.

'Hey, wait, let's not go there…', Ashley A stepped in to de escalate, but Ashley B was annoyed by now. 'No, I won't! No one here wants to point out the obvious! You got paired up with Gretchen, the geek you promised you would NOT hang with.'

'Oh, point Ashley B.', Ashley Q said, Ashley T keeping score with a glitter pen.

'Hey, how's that my fault? I, like, totally tried to bribe Ms. Grotke, but she was like, all noble and junk!', Ashley A defended herself.

'Bribery is wicked and business, point Ashley A, go queen.', Ashley Q judged, Ashley T writing again with a 'whoop!'.

Ashley B stepped forwards and pointed right at Ashley A's nose, which Ashley noted felt painful, unlike when she and Gretchen had their noses right up at each other. Odd. 'Okay, then why were you in the closet with her?'

'Closets are for mops, not top of the pops. Point Ashley B.', Ashley Q nodded resolutely, Ashley T quickly adding it.

'I already said! She wanted to talk about the project or whatever! Like, do I look like I care? I was gonna tell her to talk to the hand, but as you can see it's been kinda weak today, so I'm not lifting it out of safety! What if Amanda Bynes crosses the road on the way to an All That taping and she's trying to stay fit? What will I offer her, my weaker hand? Impossible n'est pas francais!', Ashley A countered, ooh's coming out from Ashley Q and T. 'She raises an important point, Celebrities are our most valued endangered species!', they said, another point added from the two.

'Like, all right, but are you gonna leave her to do the work to hang out with us, Ashley A? Or are you going to break your deal? THAT'S my question!', Ashley B accused, and the other Ashley's all gasped.

Ashley A, looking a little nervous and scared now, laughed weakly. 'Whatttttt? You think that I would DARE break an Ashley promise?'

'You broke Purple Day. Who knows what you're, like, capable of!', Ashley B stated, hands on her hips, staring at Ashley A with distrust.

'Ashley B, we all agree that the fashion crimes committed that day were arrest worthy, but we all agreed to forgive and forget. Even me!', Ashley Q reminded, Ashley T nodding like a bobblehead. 'Ashley A will TOTALLY screw Gretchen over and leave her hanging so we can all do far more important things, like have a tea party with my mom's 20,000$ porcelain set!'

'Yeah! Barbshley would enjoy a spot of tea!', Ashley T lifted her 1997 Christmas Dance Musical Barbie, fitted with an A for Ashley on her back shaped like a musical note.

'I still don't think Barbshley rolls off the tongue, T.', Ashley Q commented.

'Ashley M doesn't get left out and neither does Barbshley!', Ashley T protested, protectively holding her doll.

'Well, regardless of name flow, I AM right, right, Ashley A?', Ashley Q asked, only to hear nothing. 'Ashley A? He-LLO?'

Ashley A was fidgeting and bugging, trying desperately to come up with something. 'Oh, um, well… See, there's something important I have to tell you…'

'A HA! I KNEW IT! There was something off about her! She's going to betray us again! In fact, she's going to be…', Ashley B started, making Ashley Q and T wave in fear.

'TOOOOOOOOOTALYYYYYYYYY WAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKK!', Ashley B slow mo blurted out, causing the coach to drop a dish on the floor and all the kids, even those who didn't care for the Ashley's, to gasp in horror.

Ashley A clutched her heart, feeling faint, and she dropped down. Ashley T rushed to her aid while Ashley Q gasped and shrieked. 'Ashley B! WAY harsh!'

'WAY WAY harsh!', Ashley T agreed, fanning Ashley A with the little two piece outfit her Pearl Beach Pool Day Fun Barbie has.

Ashley B bit her lip, hesitant now. She hadn't meant to get THIS angry! 'Gosh, I'm… Like, totally sorry, okay? I was bugging big time there. Just… Ashley A, just say you won't be with Gretchen! I mean, it's not like you want to! Not now that we're all back together being Ashley's again!'

Ashley B sounded pleading, almost desperate. Ashley A felt bad (that and feeling faint), but she didn't know how to lie on this one, especially if it went wrong. She needed SOME sort of plan, strategy, but what could possibly work? How could she be with the other Ashley's AND Gretchen without letting anyone down OR revealing anything? Oh, if only she could be in two places at once!

'MY QUEEN! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, OH MOST BELOVED OF LETTERS? THE SYMMETRY, I TELL YOU, IT'S A FILING DREAM!'

Ashley A now felt TRULY bad. 'Menlo. No. No!'

Menlo, his glasses and suit making him look like an office employee's nightmare (that's how badly he pulled it off) leant down with a hurry, checking her pulse. 'It's not moving to a spice girls beat! This is serious, people! Someone get me a laffy taffy!'

Ashley A groaned, as Menlo "saved" her. His crush on her had been going on for months, and he STILL didn't get the hint. 'One time you let him carry your books to get your diary back. ONE TIME.'

Ashley A wondered if killing a nerd looked good on a resume, or was it too easy to list as an achievement.

'Here, I'll feed you the taffy, oh sweet summer star, and then, if needed, the kiss of life!', Menlo declared, pursing his lips.

'Oh, he's gonna make me v-OMIT! Sick!', Ashley A cried, only to suddenly get an idea.

Trickling slowly through the recesses of her mind (heh, recesses. Recess. LAUGH.), she recalled her earlier wish to be in two places at once. 'Ashley A can't study with Gretchen, she's hanging with the other Ashley's. But if she's sick, she can't hang with anyone! And who would study with Gretchen? Why, Ashley knew someone. A cousin, one could say.

'I can't WAIT to brag to Gretchen about this later.', Ashley A smirked, before cringing. To start the plan, she needed to do something she REALLY didn't want to do.

Leaning in, she whispered to Menlo 'Sneeze on me.'

'What?', Menlo asked, so confused he wondered if he was dreaming. This was like a LOT of his dreams. No one had called him "radical" yet, though.

'Sneeze on me, and I'll let you carry my books for a whole MONTH once the project week is over! And… And I'll go to your birthday party! You can even buy me… Shudder… A fro yo.'

Menlo didn't even question it after that. As if on command, he sneezed on Ashley A (but a small sneeze. He was a simp, but not a prude.)

'GASP! GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU LOSER! Sorry, shouting it doesn't make it clear. Ahem. You LO-ser! Ha, better.', Ashley B yelled, pulling Ashley A away from Menlo, who hoped she wasn't lying.

'Ashley A, are you okay? Quick, how many hunks am I holding up?', Ashley B asked, lifting a 17 cover magazine of the Backstreet Boys.

'You have hunks?', Ashley A asked, trying to appear as dizzy as possible.

'We're losing her. Someone get me a diet coke and mentos fast, and by god, do NOT mix them!', Ashley B ordered, Ashley Q lifting Ashley T and running with her to get it.

'Speak to me! Like, speak to me!', Ashley B cried, slapping Ashley A's face.

'Talk… To the hand…', Ashley A weakly said, lifting it.

'Okay, she's still hilarious, it's not all doomed!', Ashley B sighed in relief, as the diet coke and mentos came. 'Here, refresh your mouth. Let the Menlo cooties disappear, like jeans at a back to school sale.'

'Everyone, hold hands in prayer!', Ashley T called out, and they all did, humming 'Lady Di and Gucci style… AAAAAAmeNNNNNN.'

Ashley A, keeping one eye open, pretended she was being raised from the dead, and coughed out 'Like, I'm, like, totally bugging! I think I… I've got…'

She pointed at Menlo in accusation. 'COOTIES!'

Everyone gasped again, hiding away from Menlo.

'...I'll see you later?', he mumbled weakly, walking away in hope.

'Oh NO! You must go to bed immediately, Ashley A! Before it spreads!', Ashley B and the other Ashley's leapt away, using dino grabbers to support the barely standing Ashley A.

'Oh, but then you can't be with us! Still, your health matters, and we'll be sure to visit you at nights! We'll have quarantined slumber parties! I better get the snacks and Ashley T can handle music… And now you won't have to do your project! Bingo!', Ashley B cheered, as did the other Ashley's. 'Gretchen got slam dunked!', Ashley Q joked, making Ashley T giggle.

'STOP TALKING ABOUT BASKETBALL, SEE, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M… Oh, what-EVER. Ashley A is more important. See? We all care about each other. In fact, let's hear her out. What WERE you gonna say about ditching the walking geek-tionary, Ashley A?', Ashley B asked, genuine about all she had said, worried for Ashley A but happy she would be with them, with her.

Ashley A, barely suppressing a grin, explained. 'Oh, girls, to prove to you I'm still the Ashley you all know and adore, I, like, have a Stupendously Scandalous Scheme!'

'OOOH, SCANDALOUS!', They all chorused, elated. It had been FAR too long. 'What is it?', they all asked, curious and eager.

Ashley A now had to grin. 'Have I ever told you about my cousin?'

'So, let me get this straight…', Gretchen started, cleaning her glasses and then pushing them up her forehead, with a little hint of irony. 'Your plan is to pretend to be sick for a week, lying to your parents, your teachers, your peers, the other Ashley's, everyone but me and apparently Menlo…'

Menlo waved. 'Hi.'

'...And during all this, somehow, you will dress up as this Ashley R alter ego and work with me on the project?', Gretchen finished, hands on her hips, as Ashley A paced around the school nurse's office, having successfully managed to bribe her with the monopoly money (she wasn't very smart).

'Yes! Brilliant, no? Definitely a plan worthy of the smartest girl in school, perhaps?', Ashley asked, batting her eyelashes and posing. For whatever reason, she really wanted to hear Gretchen say that.

Gretchen did not, however. Sighing heavily, she shook her head. 'Ashley, how on EARTH are you gonna pull this off? You can't be in two places at once, and cloning technology is highly unethical! Plus, I wouldn't dream of using it to make MORE Ashley's. Gah!', she shuddered, trying not to picture the concept.

Menlo grinned dreamily. 'I could have my own Ashley.'

'You, I'm ignoring.', Gretchen pushed past Menlo and walked right up to Ashley, staring her dead in the eye, making the fashionista blink and gulp a bit. 'This is crazy! You know it is. Please, please tell me you know it is.'

'Look, I never said it was easy. Nothing worth doing is!', Ashley challenged, smirking smugly. 'Mommy says so.'

'Great, I'm taking advice from a woman with the least original name ideas in the world.'

Ashley tutted, displeased with this reaction from Gretchen, shifting on the nurse bed and turning away from her. 'You'd think, as I lie on my deathbed, that you would at least TRY to see it my way.'

'Deathbed? You're faking!', Gretchen reminded her, exasperated. Pulling at her hair, she groaned. 'Why? Why, whoever or whatever is up there, did I ever do to deserve this inane drivel?'

'This DRIVEL is IN-ane! Get it, in? Like, cool? I'm hilarious, laugh.', Ashley ordered. Menlo burst out laughing. Gretchen pursed her lips. 'All right then, Ms. Armbruster. Prove it. Prove to me that this isn't idiotic.'

'Fire away.', Ashley bragged, awaiting the barrage of questions.

Gretchen lifted a notebook and scratched furiously with her pen, ink spilling everywhere. '1. How are you gonna fool the Ashley's? They will come visit you. Are you just gonna be up there for hours, pretending to be sick?'

'Nope! They will mostly visit me in the evenings, once you and I aren't working! Plus, for the times when we are and they want to visit, I've got Menlo here as a decoy!', Ashley explained, pointing at Menlo, who clapped giddily. 'I've always wanted to dress up as an Ashley! My fashion sense is rather, well, limited, to say the least.'

'No kidding.', Gretchen barbed, but she nodded. 'All right… That MIGHT work. For the Ashley's. I wouldn't expect them to contain superior brain power to yours.'

'...I don't know if that's a compliment, but I'll take it!', Ashley beamed, keeping her nose up in the air. So far, so good.

Gretchen rolled her eyes and pressed on. 'Very well. 2. Your parents and siblings. How will you fool them, especially since you're gonna have to stay HOME. You know, all day.'

Ashley gulped a little. 'That part is definitely tricker.', she admitted, playing with a strand of her hair and rolling it around her fingers like a cat's cradle. 'But! I have a plan for that too!'

'All right, let's hear it.'

'Britney doesn't fear cooties, so she won't think I'm actually sick at first from just one Menlo sneeze. However, she DOES love to steal my diary, if you recall.', Ashley reminded Gretchen, who nodded in remembrance. 'Ah, yes. The Patrol Officer quest. We had to steal it back so you would, um, let Menlo carry your books once.'

'The plastic wrapping was most comfortable!', Menlo piped up, blushing from the event playing in his head.

'Well, of course it was! I applied it!', Gretchen allowed herself a small proud smirk.

'Yes, you did. It was quite a good job, actually. I'm not sure I ever, um, thanked you for that. So, like, way cool, I guess.', Ashley muttered, struggling with the concept. Gretchen nodded curtly again. 'Well, you're very welcome. Putting Mikey aside, I wouldn't ever want my privacy broken like that. Even an Ashley shouldn't have to suffer such a heinous crime.'

'...Or a geek.', Ashley added, and the two again nodded at each other, a small sliver of "respect" passing between them.

'...So, um, are you two friends? Is this why we're doing this? Because I'm still trying to figure out the nature of this whole relationship.', Menlo asked, scratching his head and analyzing the two.

'SHUT UP, MENLO!', they both shouted, making him jump. 'All right, all right, sorry!'

'Ignore him. He's delusional from seeing me.', Ashley half bragged, half joked.

Gretchen stifled a tiny snort. 'Aren't we all.'

Ashley tried to pretend she didn't feel great about that snort.

'Anyway, you were saying?', Gretchen reminded her, and Ashley shook her head, refocusing. 'Yes, well, point is, she's always stealing my diary and reading the latest entry. So, instead of my current latest entry, one that reveals the whole plan here, I'm going to write about how "excited" I am to work on a project, and that I find it all so "fascinating", and that I am thrilled to get my "hands dirty".', Ashley did air marks each time, explaining the idea.

'Ah, I see! Britney would find it so out of character, that she would assume you are suffering some form of high fever!', Gretchen replied, tapping her chin with her pen. 'No, I see it, it's an idea all right. Not bad at all.'

'Right?', Ashley said excitedly, leaping momentarily into the air. 'And my brother, well, he's more of a pain. He wouldn't care, he'd try to break into my room. But again, I have thought of a solution!'

Lifting up a camera and a makeup kit, Ashley wiggled her eyebrows. 'A little touch of art, and it would seem like I have incriminating pictures of myself, sick, snotty, gr-OSS! That little cockroach would love nothing more than to sell these in the elementary school black market. Sure, my reputation is a tad touched, but he wouldn't care if it was real, as long as he got paid for it AND got back at me. No questions asked.'

Gretchen whistled this time, impressed. 'Wowie, Ashley. I must admit, that one really covers all the bases.'

'That's my Ashley! So smart, so cool!', Menlo gushed, slipping off his chair and smacking his head on the floor. 'Ow.'

'Yes, yes, why can't anyone else say it?', Ashley sighed, wishing it was someone else, any other boy. Then maybe it would excite her. I mean, if she was this sort of kind of looking forward to praise from Gretchen (simply because she was smart, no other reason), then imagine if an acceptable looking boy said it!

'Hmm, well, what of your parents?', Gretchen moved on, biting her lip. 'Surely that would be harder. When I'm sick, my parents do everything they can to help me.'

'Huh, really? Weird. My daddy's busy most days, so he can't do much, and Mommy has important things to do as well, like spa days and stuff. She gets work done there.', Ashley explained, as matter of fact as 1 plus 1 is 2.

Gretchen tilted her head, puzzled. 'Okay… I mean, she could put one day aside to help you, no?'

'Oh, she doesn't want to catch germs, either! Says it would be bad for her business and image! A real mood, right?', Ashley asked, waiting for Gretchen to say yes, but she didn't. '...Gretchen? You good?'

'Yeah, yeah, I… Totally fine.', Gretchen mumbled, wondering what the heck was wrong with Mrs. Armbruster. 'So, I guess those are covered. Um, 3. I can't just go to your house every time. So you're gonna have to come to my house. Dressed up as Ashley R.'

'And?', Ashley A asked, shrugging. 'What's, like, the big deal?'

'...Ashley R isn't exactly… You haven't really… I guess what I'm saying is…', Gretchen stammered, trying to spit it out.

'Come on, just say it!', Ashley demanded, impatient.

'Okay, fine! Ashley R is just you with glasses! Lensless ones! My parents know about the Ashley's! My friends do! And I'm not just gonna NOT invite them or talk to them ever! Heck, what if we run into the Ashley's? After all, you're supposedly your own cousin! Called Ashley! Surely they would want to at least meet her, maybe even make fun of her! You're gonna need to pretend you're someone else in front of people who know you best of all! Even if you change her into someone you're not, CAN you do that?', Gretchen spat it out, almost ranting.

Ashley A gaped a little. 'Oh… Oh, that's… That's, well, a good point…'

'And what if we get found out? You're getting grounded! I'm getting grounded! Heck, we could get some serious detentions, maybe even expelled! And the excuse "Oh, see, no one can know I don't totally hate Gretchen" isn't going to fly, is it?', Gretchen finished, staring right into Ashley's eyes.

Ashley swallowed a lump in her throat. She looked away, a little scared. 'I… I admit, it's, like, a little risky…'

'VERY risky.'

'...But I know I can do it. We can do it! You saw how we handled the first scheme! A Stupendously Scandalous Scheme 2: The Sequel Is Always Better Than The Original! (and hey, a sequel to the first time I namedropped a chapter, cool!), is totally possible, we just need to work together like we did last time! With your brains and my beauty AND brains, there's, like, a serious chance of success!', Ashley passionately explained, leaping off the bed and offering her hand to shake.

Gretchen looked away, uncertain. 'I don't know… I don't wanna stain my spotless permanent record.'

'Please, Gretchen! I don't want to lose my friends, remember?', Ashley reminded, then looked down sadly. 'I… I don't want to leave you alone to do it either.'

Gretchen felt touched again, and looked back just a smidge. Ashley, giving her those puppy dog eyes, but genuine this time, still offered her hand. 'Please. I promise you, it will be okay. Pinkie Swear.'

'You don't know if this will go well enough to make a pinkie swear!', Gretchen countered, though her will was loosening.

'Fine. Then new pinkie swear: If this fails, if this, like, totally blows up in our faces and junk, then I will nev-ER bother you again.'

'That's the plan anyway.', Gretchen reminded.

Ashley scoffed. 'And… And…'

She sighed. Doing what was right sucked. '...I'll tell everyone it was my fault. I'll do anything I need to do to make sure I get punished instead of you. Your record will be okay. It's mine that's on the line.'

Gretchen stared at the hand, surprised. She suppressed a gasp. '...This really means that much to you, huh?'

'It just does. I need them, Gretchen. I need them like you need your friends! I like to act all confident and stuff, but the truth is… I'm nothing without the other Ashley's. Please… I don't want to be left alone in the dark.', Ashley begged, tears hanging off her eyes now, looking so… So…

Normal and weak.

Not the confident and flashy and almost darn right lovably big Ashley.

This small, sad, desperate version.

Gretchen closed her eyes and remembered what it was like before she met her friends.

And how scared she got of losing them. How lonely a lab could be as it was.

'...'

She grabbed the hand.

'You won't be.', she answered, shaking resolutely.

Ashley, at first stunned, then overjoyed, shook back. 'Like, wise!'

'I know.'

'No, like, I mean, like, likewise.'

'Ah!'

'...In hindsight, I can see why that would be, like, confusing.'

'Like, yeah.', Gretchen joked, and the two laughed again, before resuming their handshake and pinkie swear. 'You get your friends, I get what I've always wanted.'

'Exactly.', Ashley replied.

'Deal.', they said at the same time, and finished the handshake, fingers momentarily sticking for a moment. Ashley had felt so incredibly cold when she pictured being alone, like a thousand icicles camped in her heart.

Gretchen's warm words and fingers had fought that back a little.

Gretchen couldn't help but admire how soft Ashley's fingers had been. 'Guess she's not just rough, her reputation isn't totally wrong.', she acknowledged scientifically.

'...So when do I get to dress up like you?', Menlo asked.

'Once Ashley R enters the scene! Speaking of which…', Ashley A announced, rubbing her hands. 'We should really get there fast, before the Ashley's come visit me. School bell rings in just a minute. You wouldn't happen to have anything faster than a bus lying around, would you?', she grinned smugly and knowingly, winking.

'Oh, I just might… If you wish upon a shooting star…', Gretchen grinned smugly and knowingly back, clicking her tongue and snapping her fingers.

They stared at each other, still grinning.

'...So… Do you?', Menlo asked, still on the floor.

'...Yeah, um, it's a bike, but it's two seats, so I'll come back for you.', Gretchen replied awkwardly, while Ashley A ran off with her, dragging her outside.

'Oh. Okay!', Menlo cried out, waiting patiently on the floor.

…

'She definitely likes me.', Menlo said ignorantly, humming an old love song to himself as he laid on the cold floor.

'No she doesn't.', The nurse suddenly replied, still admiring the cash.

'You were there the entire time?', Menlo asked in disbelief.

'What, like I have better things to do?', she asked, as a line of kids with lice stood outside the door.