Hey guys! With the story entering a fun milestone (we've passed 300 hits, now at 310, never expected such engagement, especially with the comments and the kudos both at double digits!), I thought it would be fun to start having longer author's notes!

I'll get into the writing process more in the end note, but for now, thank you for all the support, this story is slowly becoming one of my favorites and I'm happy to see so many people agree! Enjoy this one, it continues the funny run of the last few chapters that have been quite ridiculous and silly!

So, as you saw (if you had eyes, which you don't, of course. …Do you? Ooh, that's gonna keep me up at night, alongside… Well, I'll get to that (sigh).

Anyway, as you saw, I got into the house at 15:01 on the dot, then rushed to my room and my beloved closest of dreams! (trademark pending).

There it was, the Ashley R get up! Hanging at the back, next to my sensational stylish summer swimsuit (one word: HOT. PINK.), and my to die for, royally righteous and rambunctious reindeer outfit (I got to have the shiny nose, on account of how aglow I am at all times! Ashley B was cupid, and I bet she felt stupid, ha! Burn!). The knee length dress stood quite neat and proud despite its rear position in my saucy selection!

Huh. Now that I think about it, I wonder why I didn't throw it away? Like Gretchen said, I only, like, needed it for the museum, and even then I didn't have to go so far with my character. Well, I guess keeping so many outfits DID prove useful! Take that… Um… Whoever thought that. Probably Gretchen. She can be so dumb.

Ugh. I'm only saying that because…

No, no, not yet! Focus Ashley!

Sorry, Dear Diary, I'm a little, like, totally buggin' out today. It's been WAY chaotic. Maybe I should just cut to the chase.

So, once I found the Ashley R look, I went about putting it on and getting into character…

First, Ashley A put on her knee length dress, admiring how loose it felt. 'Totally snug!', she thought, which helped in these chilly winter afternoons they were getting of late. Ashley had been surprised as to how comfortable it was the first time, and it was really proving it here. Straightening her sleeves, she spun around a bit to feel how it flowed around her body. 'Oddly Elegant!', Ashley acknowledged, fixing her hair to keep it on brand.

The rainbow socks, pink tie and blue bow tie came next, accessorizing being one of her favorite parts, and that did not change here. There was something just so… 'Like, colorful!', Ashley thought, wiggling her toes in the socks. It was almost like something she would draw…

'No, don't think about that. Remember what the other Ashley's said.', she reminded herself, tutting. At least the ties were cute! They offered a strange sort of contrast, so serious yet so sentimentally silly on her visage, like she wasn't some dry, boring, office worker drone nerd, but rather a fun (she grinned widely and threw her arms wide in a pose), adorable (she pouted her lips and batted her eyelashes while lifting one leg up to the air), engaging and introspective (she made a thinking face into the mirror while tapping her chin), but also still bombastic (she placed her hands on her hips and made a hissing sound) and SCANDALOUSLY eye candy (she blew a kiss at the mirror and snapped her fingers, asserting dominance at her own mirror self).

Air Jordans laced on (they felt quite comfortable the second time around, like she was walking on air!), all that was left were the large glasses, ones she had kept safe in a unicorn and kitty cat sticker covered case.

Slowly and carefully placing them atop her nose, Ashley A paused to seriously look at herself in the mirror. She only had trace amounts of makeup (Ashley had figured that Ashley R would try to beautify, but not as much as her "cousin"), and her nails were colored black and yellow, stars hanging in space. She looked like a nerd, for sure, but also like her regular high society self in many ways. It should have felt markedly strange and queer, yet Ashley still felt a lot like…

'Myself…', she muttered, train of thought not totally arriving at the station. She didn't really consider what the thought meant. Just that she didn't mind the Ashley R look. It was…

Rather nice.

'Yoo hoo! Ashley dearest!', Menlo's voice suddenly rang from outside.

Ashley shook awake from her thoughts, falling onto the floor, making Ashley M rush to see if she was okay. While she got licked in the face by her cuddly kitty, she heard knocks on the wall underneath her second floor window.

'Ashley M, s'asseoir. Mummy needs to deal with some work associates.', she explained, pleased with how much she sounded like her own mother.

Ashley M tilted her head, letting out a confused meow.

'Oh, um, Gretchen, remember?'

Ashley M remembered, but again meowed in confusion.

'I know, I said I wouldn't talk to her again, but glamorous sophisticates such as ourselves never get to rest until everything is PERFECTLY resolved. Such is our lot in life.', Ashley expressed in great tragedy and noble sacrifice, collapsing onto the bed with Ashley M on top of her.

Muffin licked her in the face, seemingly laughing.

'Mummy is allowed a little drama here and there. Lest I remind you of your little tuna MELT a fortnight ago?', Ashley smugly smirked, her turn to tilt a head. Muffin huffed sarcastically and shook her head, unfortunately having to agree.

'Exactly, but I love you all the same.', Ashley kissed the top of Muffin's head, making the kitten purr.

'Ashley? Ashley? Oh where art thou, Ashley?', the annoying tones of Menlo raged on, giving Ashley A a headache already. 'Especially because he's got it wrong, it's not where art thou, it's…', Ashley started, only to hear…

'It's wherefore art thou, Menlo. It's asking WHY he is Romeo, because they're forbidden star crossed lovers from feuding families?', Gretchen's voice surprisingly sounded out, and Ashley rushed to the window, opening it to see her fr… Partner, and her pest, both situated underneath her window, the Grundler Comet sparkling near by. Gretchen had the "enviable" task of holding Menlo up on her shoulders so he could climb through the window.

'It is! You know?', Ashley had to ask Gretchen, as curious as, well, Ashley M, who perched on top of her mama's head, looked down and meowed in greeting, as it so say 'Ah, so THAT'S Gretchen!'.

Gretchen, unable to tug her glasses, simply shrugged, shoulders slightly shaking from the weight of Menlo. 'Spend enough time around Mikey, you get to know most works of literature and poetry, especially of the Shakespearian persuasion. He's especially fond of the romantic tragedies. Says they elicit strong emotions of melancholy and passion.'

Ashley couldn't help but grin a little, teasing Gretchen for the info dump. 'A simple "Yes" would have sufficed, no?'

Gretchen, recognizing the tease, clicked her tongue. 'I don't do simple. Pot calling the kettle black, eh?'

'When the pot is THIS breathtaking, even in supposedly loser fashion, she will be as black as the ebony night, or a Tuesday at a Hot Topic.'

Gretchen giggled this time, and Ashley could barely suppress the smile nor the butterfly elation fluttering in her heart.

'Oh, Ashley, so witty, so amusing! Truly the pie chart of women!', Menlo complimented, gazing dreamily at the object of his affections.

Ashley gasped, pink canals overflowing her cheeks. 'YOU'RE CALLING ME FAT?!'

'Never!', Menlo cried in fear. 'I simply meant to compare you to my favorite statistic collecting diagram, nothing more, nothing less!'

'There'll be nothing less of us if you keep talking instead of getting in there!', Gretchen cried out in exertion, shoulders and knees nearly buckling.

'Oh, sorry, Gretchen!', Ashley called out, finding it surprisingly easier to apologize for once. 'Maybe I really AM sick!', she mused, checking her forehead for temperature. Seemed fine.

Pulling on Menlo (with Ashley M pulling her from behind), Ashley A managed to get him through the window and onto herself as they laid there on the floor.

'I see I've FLOORED you.', Menlo tried, attempting a wink but failing. Ashley A blew hair off her face and shoved him off, sending him careening onto the bed, throwing some plushies over and messing up the blanket.

'Where's your disguise? Come on, chop chop, we don't have all day!', Ashley A ordered, clapping her hands and snapping her fingers in authority.

'Not to worry, paperclip princess! I have it inside this briefcase! I simply need to change!', Menlo explained, lifting his briefcase which had Mr. Armbruster emboldened onto it.

'…I'll give you points for at least taking my surname. Clever boy.', Ashley commented, suspicious glare painting her features. 'But I won't have you tainting my bouncy and beautiful bed with your… Menlo cooties.', she grimaced, cringe encapsulating her features.

'You do realize cooties aren't a real thing? We proved it during the kissing experiment.', Gretchen called out from outside, recovering from lifting Menlo. She laid on the grass as if she were a corpse, hands folded on her chest.

'It's Menlo! If anyone could prove such horror exists, it's him!', Ashley explained, not even looking back.

'Fair enough. Proceed.', Gretchen motioned, and Ashley A did, moving towards Menlo and staring him dead in the eyes, prodding his forehead as they sat on the pink and white bed full of heart shaped pillows and fluffy plushies. 'I demand CLEANLINESS of the highest proportion. I don't want to get back here and drown in your 9 to 5 paperwork sweat. I catch a whiff of eraser, black coffee, or dollar store cologne from the back end of the aisle, and I'll personally have you named and shamed in at least 4 newspapers!'

'Gasp! That's more than 3!'

'Totally.'

'I see you're serious. Not to worry, my dainty dove! Your future husband will be as careful as if the bed were his own photocopier!', Menlo promised, crossing his heart and delivering 3 hail mary's.

'…I suppose that will do. Still, I cannot take any chances. Ashley M, keep an eye on our, um, "guest".', Ashley A commanded, and Ashley M saluted with her paw and meowed in obedience, pointing at Menlo like a pointer dog.

'Good.', Ashley A said ultra seriously, before baby talking to Ashley M and scratching behind her ears. 'WHO'S A GOOD KITTY? WHO'S A SCHWAY LIL' MUFFIN? YOU ARE! YOU ARE! CUSTARD FROM STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE WISHES! CUSTARD WISHES!'

Ashley M happily took the love, purring, and she and Ashley A nuzzled and nose kissed. 'CIAO BEBE CHERI!', Ashley A cried out, affection practically dripping from her watery smile and eyes, glasses now drooping off slightly.

She then looked at Menlo. He looked at her. 'Do I get a goodbye?'

'…Don't die, I guess.'

'Good enough for me!', Menlo cheered, as Ashley prepared to leave. Calling out to Gretchen, she said 'I'll be right down! Then we'll confront the Ashley's together on the way to your house! Best to start there, I think!'

'Cool. I'll just keep photosynthesizing over here.', Gretchen confirmed with a thumb's up, soaking in the rare sunlight.

Opening and closing the door to her room gently, Ashley A felt quite pleased with herself. 'It's going, like, sooooo great! I'm totally winning this disguise game! I don't know what Gretchen was on about, this is WAY easy!', Ashley voiced internally, gracefully gliding down the golden stairs and passing the pink and purple halls of her home. Plugging in her minidisc walkman, she began victory boogying out to Mariah Carey's "Honey", shaking her hips and hair every which way, acting a lot like she did when she sang the Backstreet Boys song to Gretchen: Free and confident.

She was just passing the living room towards the door when…

'Who the hell are you?'

Ashley A gasped, screamed, and jumped into the air, walkman plugs falling down. Turning around, she found none other than Tyler, her little brother, and Brittney, her little sister, giving her very suspicious looks. Or as Gretchen described earlier in the closet…

'Oh my god. Sus. They think I'm an imposter among them or something!', Ashley thought, clutching her cheeks in fear, unaware of how accurate she would be of 2021 vernacular in the future.

'Well, who the HELL are you?', Tyler asked again, Brittney nodding. 'You look familiar, but strange. Like Mrs. Teacher after nip and tuck.'

Ashley gulped now, nervously clutching her glasses, hands shaking. Would she falter at the first hurdle?

'I'm…', Ashley started, stammering and stuttering. She NEVER felt this unconfident! 'I… I am… Ashley… '

She clenched her fists and spat it out, hoping it sounded convincing and not like an acne ridden pirate preparing to dance with a pom pom carrying mermaid. '...R.'

'…Who?', Brittney asked, confused, scratching her head, covered in pain. She was in her usual savage look, having been busy that day trying to sacrifice her tricycle for unlimited jawbreakers. It hadn't worked, but her friends were gonna try it on her sister's diary next.

'Yeah. You have an Ashley name, yet Ashley, our "dear" sister, has NEVER mentioned you?', Tyler ventured, very suspicious now. He circled Ashley, his pudding bowl blonde hair leaping all over the place every time he moved, like vines in a jungle, like a vulture with a report card full of C+'s.

Ashley had to act, and fast. Grasping at straws, searching for an idea, she coughed out 'Oh, well, duh! Ashley A has never mentioned me before because I'm… Totally lame. Her words, not mine! I would use… Exceedingly… Pathetic. Because I'm intellectual and junk', she tried to talk as Gretchen would, burning inside from using such terms with herself, even a fake self.

'Hmm, that's a good point. Ashley A would never associate herself with someone wearing such quiet, uninspiring nerd clothes.', Brittney pointed out, sounding rather intelligent. Then she shoved a crayon up her nose.

Ashley A (or should I say, Ashley R) pouted, crossing her arms. 'I mean, like, I think it's totally not that bad, in fact, it's quite ALT and INDIE, as some of my European friends would say. Anything European is exotic.', she flipped her hair, humming judgmentally.

Suddenly, Ashley A realized that sounded VERY much like Ashley A. She was Ashley R now. 'Like, this is confusing.', she thought, clearing her throat and shaking her head in fear, observing the already raised eyebrows from her younger siblings. 'I mean… My clothes are neat! They don't stand out at all, plus they present me as a studious and subtle girl who needs zero attention whatsoever!', Ashley R tried, biting her cheek. How she wanted to brag that SHE had made such a normally generic look POP, what with the rainbow colored socks, the alternating colors on her accessories, her still fantastic hairband! But, alas, she had to keep those feelings down for now, to pass this test.

Brittney and Tyler exchanged looks again, still a little unsure. 'All right… I suppose that would also explain why she hasn't mentioned you.', Tyler finally concluded.

'It would! Homerun, as they say in Chess! Hup hup!', Ashley R celebrated, unable to resist rubbing it in her little brother's face. 'But that brings us to a far more pressing question…', Tyler began, pointing at his now entering mother, who had just finished another call.

Dropping her cellphone, Mrs. Armbruster suppressed a scream. 'WHO LET THE FREAK IN?!'

Ashley R gulped, feeling just the tiniest crack form in the valley of her heart. Her own mother thought she was… Unfashionable! 'Who,me? I'm, um, Ashley R.', she managed to spit out better this time, though she was clearly still reeling from hearing her mother refer to her like that. 'Was that what Gretchen felt like when I said it?', she couldn't help but wonder. She still didn't think she looked so bad. Heck, she didn't think Gretchen looked bad!

'Ashley R? Huh. They just let anyone be called Ashley these days, huh? Liberals.', Mrs. Armbruster exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief. Tyler and Brittney, seeing this, copied the movement. 'Well, societal flaws aside, what ARE you doing here, young lady? We don't house anyone this… Homely.'

Ashley sighed. Great. She had to REALLY test her backstory now. Crossing her fingers, she closed her eyes in fear and uttered 'I'm… Ashley's cousin.'

'...I don't recall having a cousin. At least, not one that small.', Mrs. Armbruster commented, tapping her chin in thought. Again, her kids copied this movement. 'Is it possible you've mistaken me for another Ashley? Like, I can't see how, I'm totally unique, but, like, I am also very distracting, so it might be that. Feel free to gawk at my style.', she posed, a bunch of paparazzi suddenly bursting out of nowhere and snapping pics of her, the flash making Ashley R dizzy.

Blinking the flash away and straightening her glasses, Ashley R shook her head. 'What? No, I'm Ashley A's cousin!'

Mrs. Armbruster once again blinked in confusion, then pointed at herself. 'I still don't have a cousin. I thought you people were supposed to be smart or something.'

Ashley R groaned, massaging her temples. This couldn't get more annoying! 'UGH. Your daughter!'

Mrs. Armbruster paused while her children ahh'd in understanding. Gears slowly moving, Mrs. Armbruster snapped her fingers, realizing. 'Oh, yes! Her! Whoops! Forgot she exists! Happens to all of us!'

Ashley R, used to this by now, nodded. 'Sure, it's quite common! Anyway, I'm her cousin! From, um… Your husband's side.', she went for the safe option that her mother wouldn't know all the relatives her father must have had.

'That man never tells me anything. I'll have to, like, dock his wages. Anyway, I suppose if you are family, it's not the end of the world if you're here! Maybe we could even teach you to stop being so embarrassing and shameful for our name! I've only known you for a minute and I wish I was, like, dead!', Mrs. Armbruster offered with a friendly smile, moving away with a cry when Ashley R tried to shake her hand. 'Just… Keep away for now. Haven't used my special anti germ soap yet!'

Running off to do just that, she cried 'Ashley A should be here any minute anyway, so you can wait if you want!'

Ashley R gulped, realizing she had another lie to sell. 'Actually, I… I just brought her upstairs! By myself. With no one else. Just me. Heh.'

'You did? I didn't hear anything.', Tyler raised an eyebrow again, doubtful. Ashley R bit her thumb, panicking. Maybe she should have said something else?

'No, wait, I remember hearing the door open and close! That must have been her!', Brittney stated, before looking puzzled once more. 'Why is she back so early?'

Ashley R couldn't handle it anymore! So many questions, so many obstacles, so many hurdles! She would just have to trust Menlo to lie well.

Half screaming half hyper ventilating, Ashley R bellowed 'OH SHE'S UPSTAIRS, SHE GOT SOME COOTIES, YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NURSE SAID TO TAKE HER HOME AND I HAPPENED TO PASS THE NEIGHBORHOOD BECAUSE, UM, YES, MY AUNT AND UNCLE WANT ME TO LEARN HOW TO BE COOL AND STYLISH LIKE ALL OF YOU, ESPECIALLY ASHLEY A, THE DAUGHTER NOT THE MOTHER, SHE'S SUCH AN INSPIRATION, DID YOU KNOW SHE'S, LIKE, GOT THE BEST SENSE OF FASHION IN THE ASHLEY'S? AND SHE CAN DANCE REALLY WELL! I WISH I COULD! I HAVE TWO LEFT FEET! NOT LITERALLY, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! SEE, I'M SMART, I'M SCIENTIFIC, I'M TOTALLY CONVINCING YOU, HEY, WHAT'S THE TIME, OH IT'S "I GOTTA GO AND GET ASHLEY A'S PROJECT DONE FOR HER BY WORKING WITH ANOTHER FREAK LIKE MYSELF", GOD I'M SUCH A NERD, WE BETTER WORK ON THAT, KEEP YOUR MINDS FOCUSED ON THAT AND ONLY CHECK ON ME I MEAN ASHLEY A WHEN YOU FEEL FIT AND READY TO TELL HER ALL ABOUT WHAT A BASIC BORING GEEKZILLA I AM! WELL, SO LONG, FAREWELL, CIAO, NO WAIT THAT'S FAR TOO ASHLEY A, I MEAN, UM, WHAT WAS IT THAT MENLO SAID ONCE, OH YES, LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!', she tried to do the vulcan salute but accidentally flipped them off. Blushing red, she screamed out "2 PLUS 2 IS 4! THE COW SAYS MOO! CELLS SQUISH TOGETHER AND IT'S CALLED MITOSIS! SMART SHIT!', then ran off, practically breaking the door down, grabbed Gretchen, who was still recovering, and raced off down the street.

Tyler, Brittney and Mrs. Armbruster all stared at the scene and the settling dust, blinking multiple times.

'...Poor Ashley! She must have received those cooties from her!', Brittney gasped, scared for her sister.

'Girl cooties. Diabolical, even for me. She could have been a co-conspirator.', Tyler lamented the loss of a potential ally.

'Memo to self: Make this girl pretty. She will be my masterpiece!', Mrs. Armbruster announced to herself.

"OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG…', Ashley mumbled maniacally as she marched towards Gretchen's house, the aforementioned girl in tow, flinging her arms wildly back and forth to get the blood pumping in them. Especially exhausted from using the Grundler Comet, Gretchen could only just about muster walking back home, so it would be the long route. Perfect. More time for Ashley to panic and lose her mind.

'Golly, 10 OMG's. That must have been one bad meeting with your family.', Gretchen commented, attempting to lift her hands to straighten her glasses but failing, she was so tired.

'Like, totally!', Ashley shouted, waving her hands around in fear. 'They ALMOST caught me, Gretchen! Multiple times! I thought I was prepared for whatever they'd ask, but they kept tripping me up with unexpected questions!'

'I mean, "What are you doing here?" is quite fair considering the context.', Gretchen pointed out, only for Ashley to look back at her with a stare that could kill a blind woman with a decapitated head.

'…Right. Bad timing.', Gretchen apologized, attempting to move closer up to Ashley, brown leaves crunching under her feet. It was quite the wintery afternoon right now, only bereft of snow because of geographical coincidence. They never got the fun part of winter, just the moody, stormy, ugly one, and even that wasn't that common.

Ashley found it quite fitting for this moment. Crossing her arms and pouting, she sneered 'Ugh, this is all SOOOO stupid!', crunching leaves on purpose, hoping they felt her pain.

'Not to be that girl, but I do want to remind you that I gave you a perfectly poised position and yet you rammed right into this rigid route.', Gretchen reminded, ducking from underneath a scratchy branch that Ashley didn't notice. Getting struck, she fell down, glasses down on the pavement.

Growling, she barked 'YOU ARE, LIKE, SO TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY LITERALLY BEING THAT GIRL!'

Gretchen struggled to hide a smirk. 'We all enjoy a good "I told you so", no?'

'…I hate how you're usually right.'

'You love it.', Gretchen smugly smirked, offering Ashley a hand. Ashley stuck her tongue out, but grabbed it. Dusting herself off, she looked up to see Gretchen holding her glasses up to her.

'Your totally necessary eye accessory, madam.', Gretchen said "fancily", offering them like a knight in shining armor.

Ashley, affectionately eye rolling, grabbed the glasses and bowed. 'Why, thank you, darling. Now I can see exactly the same as before!'

Chuckling, she placed them back on her nose, wiggling it to keep them balanced. Gretchen allowed herself to think that was sort of cute for exactly 2.6 seconds.

That was also the amount of time that passed before Ashley sighed again.

'…'

Ashley sighed a second time, louder, more exaggerated.

'…'

Ashley sighed a third time, literally emitting the word 'Sigh!', and placed herself in Gretchen's way, resting her head on her shoulder.

'Are you going to keep making these cartoon noises to attract my attention, or just spit it out?', Gretchen commented, slightly unamused, as the two stood in the middle of the street, a little grove way full of spindly trees, brown leaves, and a few white Hydrangeas entwining Larkspurs.

Ashley sighed a fourth time, whinier. 'Comfort me.'

'What part of "We are only doing this to make sure you get back to your friends and we will never see each other again after this but it could have been way easier if you just acquiesced to my request" do you not understand?', Gretchen asked, genuinely curious.

Ashley, genuinely curious, tilted her head. 'Acquiesced?'

Now it was Gretchen's turn to sigh. 'Look, Ashley, you're the one who asked for this. If you can't do it, then it's not too late to back out.'

Ashley gasped, offended, and she removed her head from Gretchen's shoulder, holding a hand to her heart. 'GRETCHEN GRUNDLER!'

'Ashley Armbruster/Ricther.', Gretchen "replied".

'Are you IMPLYING that I am a quitter? That I GIVE UP, RELENT, at the mere sight of a challenge? You do NOT know me that well if you consider such… Such SCANDALOUS notions!'

'Careful, you'll get the other Ashley's onto your scent saying that word.', Gretchen joked, but Ashley was serious, still complaining about the suggestion. 'I would never, ever, EVER just give up like that! No sirree, when Ashley Armbruster wants something, Ashley Armbruster makes it happen! I just… Needed more time to prepare, that's all!'

'You're not gonna get any.', Gretchen replied, fearfully, pointing behind Ashley.

'And who died and made you president of prep time?', Ashley retorted, prodding Gretchen, only to see she really did look scared.

'Batman.'

Ashley A jumped up into the air, turned around, and realizing who it was, came down as Ashley R.

The other Ashley's, but of course, had shown up. Each one wearing stylish nurse outfits in tribute to their fallen friend, the teddy bears sticking out of their backpacks equipped with stethoscopes. Ashley B stood in the middle, large and in charge, hands on her hips, eying the girl in front of her suspiciously. Ashley Q crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. Ashley T, who had made the reference, looked around, but it seemed like no one noticed. Phew. She copied Ashley B's hands on hips and Ashley Q's eyebrow raise.

Ashley R proved that she needed prep time by screaming bloody murder and hiding behind Gretchen, who rolled her eyes again. 'You think they saw me?'

'No, and they didn't hear you either. A master of stealth.', Gretchen sarcastically replied, shaken by Ashley's jittery hands.

'Ooh, thank you!', Ashley said obtusely, grinning.

She was proven wrong immediately.

'Woah. I didn't know we were getting more nerds flown in. Must be, like, some mating conservation thing.', Ashley B mocked, sending a poisonous smirk the two girls ways.

Ashley Q nodded vehemently, Ashley T blushed but nodded too, Gretchen suddenly seemed quite flushed and flustered suddenly, and Ashley R just seemed confused. 'Wait, women can't do…'

'Well, like, yay! More losers for us to make fun of!', Ashley Q cheered, pushing Gretchen aside, revealing Ashley R, who was shaking even harder now. 'Well… At least they don't seem to recognize me…', she thought, but it brought little comfort.

'What's your name, geekette?', Ashley B asked, standing over Ashley R. She never noticed how taller Ashley B was before. Or maybe it was her new POV.

Stuttering and gulping, she choked out "Oh, um, I'm… Ashley R.'

Ashley B, Q and T all stared in shock for a moment.

Then they burst out laughing, rolling on the pavement, Ashley R staring on curiously.

'OMG! And I thought Ashley Spinelli was l-AME! This is even funnier!', the Ashley's all twisted around on the street, giggling and guffawing and choking on air.

Ashley R, cheeks stinging, clenched her fists and began shouting. 'HEY! DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO…'

Remembering who she was supposed to be, however, Ashley groaned and took it down several notches. 'I mean… Please don't call me that. I'm just… An innocent nerd.'

Instantly stopping their laughs, all 3 Ashley's stood up and stared dead straight at Ashley R. 'No nerd is innocent. You're all boring, fashionless, sinful losers that need to be put in place by your superiors.'

Ashley R had to admit, she didn't remember ever sounding THAT harsh. Ashley B sounded like she was talking to a slug, not a person. 'I, well, I don't see how that's… Fair.'

'Um, it's like, super fair? When Judgment day hits, God will remember those who wore designer, and punish those who shop with their aunt.', Ashley B replied.

Gretchen seemed quite annoyed by that one. Grabbing Ashley R by the hand, she declared loudly 'Let's retreat from this uncivilized interrogation, Ashley R. They need to visit your cousin, and we need to do her work.'

Ashley R silently whispered 'Thanks', both for the cover story and the excuse to go.

But the other Ashley's were far too intrigued now, and blocked their path. 'Excuse Moi? You're saying your cousin is… Ashley A?!', Ashley B stated in shock, gaping so hard you could shove a whole Armani purse in there.

'No WAY! Ashley A's genes are like her jeans: Not torn in the slightest!', Ashley Q gasped, clasping her cheeks like Edvard Munch's "Scream".

'I… I… I'm shocked too, but I don't know how to say it, but let the record show I am shocked!', Ashley T replied, backing away from Ashley R lest she catch something.

Ashley R, getting a little annoyed from all of this, grunted 'Yes. I am her cousin. It's not THAT shocking.'

'Literally NOT! Not not shocking that is. Which is shocking. Very shocking. Why are you related? Do her a favor and cut yourself off.', Ashley B disagreed, shaking her head in disapproval.

'Poor Ashley A. We all have freak little sisters and brothers. But a cousin as well? She's surrounded by WACK!', Ashley T added, looking upset for her friend.

To be called wack… And by Ashley T no less, the quietest of the group? Ashley R almost felt tears fling out from her eyelashes as she shook her head. 'Nuh uh! I'm not wack! I'm… I'm hip! I'm with it!'

To demonstrate this, she attempted a flirty and fabulous pose, but her clothes didn't fit the occasion, and she ended up slipping and falling down onto the pavement. The other Ashley's pointed and laughed as Gretchen slowly lifted Ashley R up. A tear now ran down her nose, breaking in two thanks to the rim of her glasses.

'Wack. W-A-C-K. Or are you bad at being a freak too?', Ashley B landed the killing blow, and it seemed over for Ashley R. On the one hand, they didn't suspect her. On the other hand, this was a different pain than the one she felt back home.

Now she felt small. Hated.

Alone.

'And Gretchen, just when we thought you couldn't GET any lower! Call her the limbo champion, she just discovered how low, can you go! How low, can you go!', Ashley Q cried out, and the three Ashley's pretended to be limboing at Gretchen, who bit her lip, losing her patience.

'I'll have you know that Ashley R here is an intelligent and excellent project partner, and we're going to get a distinguished grade on this presentation, while you three do what you always do and let others do the work for you. So who's the low one now?', Gretchen tried, biting back, as she dusted Ashley R off for her. Ashley R's shoulders slumped, lacking any confidence.

Ashley Q and T didn't find the insult anything that special, but Ashley B's eyes turned red and her teeth gritted sharply, like a shark smelling blood. She couldn't handle it. When Ashley A spoke, everyone listened. But she got challenged all the time. This nerd, Gretchen, wasn't going to escape her wrath!

'Oh, yeah? Well at least I'm not a boring, lonely, smelly, dirty, badly dressed, no one wants to date, off putting, annoying, ugly bitch!'

Ashley Q's eyes widened. Ashley T gasped. Ashley R did both of those silently, then stared at Gretchen.

First she looked hurt.

Then she looked like she could cry.

Then, furious, she marched off, shoving past the other Ashley's, heading straight home.

'Yeah, you run, you loser!', Ashley B called out, L signing Gretchen off. Laughing, she saw Ashley Q and T and cleared her throat at them, directing them to laugh too.

They did, but not as enthusiastically.

Ashley R, still shocked, found her legs suddenly moving, running, towards Gretchen, towards her partner.

'Gretchen, are… Are you okay? I've never seen you react… I mean… Like… Usually you don't seem to care about the insults…', Ashley R stuttered out in different ways, struggling to keep up with Gretchen's stride, making her cough a little from shortness of breath.

Gretchen stopped, clenching her fists, fighting back the choke in her throat. '…Usually. But even the Dinosaurs only had so much thick skin.'

Walking away, she left Ashley R to see her shivering self. This was more than just the usual Ashley banter. Sure, they'd insulted kids, annoyed them, even hurt their feelings.

But this just felt different. This felt TOO much.

Especially for someone Ashley R actually liked.

Sort of.

Kind of.

Ahem.

Turning back, she decided she wouldn't have this. Not one bit. She would do something, in character of course.

But what? What could she do? Oh, if only Gretchen could tell her what to say…

'Bingo!', Ashley R snapped her fingers, and, turning around, she marched back to the other Ashley's, her stomps alerting Gretchen to her presence.

'Ashley?', she asked, trailing off in surprise as she saw her rush back. 'No! You'll blow your co…', she started, but as she reached her, she saw Ashley R wink at her.

Taking a deep breath, she thought back to the museum and to all her interactions with Gretchen, and clenched her fists. 'Hey, inane neanderthals!'

The other Ashley's all turned around, surprised. The seemingly meek and timid Ashley R seemed oddly confident now, hands on her hips. 'Um, like, what is THAT?', Ashley B asked, annoyed at the confusing statement. Ashley Q and T nodded in agreement, all 3 crossing their arms.

Ashley R grinned eagerly. Her opportunity was knocking to the tune of "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" by Puff Daddy and Sean Combs. Not that she actually listened to this stuff, she just heard it from Gretchen's built in radio on the Grundler Comet. 'Oh, YOU wouldn't know, would you?'

'…What do you mean YOU? What, you don't think I'm smart? I just don't care!', Ashley B retorted, clearly taken aback. She was getting a little red already.

'Ashley, what are you doing?', Gretchen asked, but Ashley R lifted a hand to stop her. 'Showing these disgustingly bourgeoise single celled organisms how mitosis works!'

Grabbing Gretchen's hand, she smirked confidently and pushed her glasses up. 'I'd wager you have no earthly idea what that meant, do you, ladies?'

'No! And we don't care, it's dumb! Why are you… Why are you making it sound not dumb?!', Ashley Q protested, pointing at Ashley R.

Ashley R, feigning shock, pointed at herself and gasped. 'Me? Making it sound not dumb? But I am just a humble vessel for microorganisms and atoms!'

The Ashley's got angrier and angrier, and Gretchen understood the play. 'They can't insult you if we speak a language they can't decipher! You're using their tool against them!', she whispered, eyes widening.

'Impressed?', Ashley R whispered back, smug.

Gretchen nodded enthusiastically. 'Very. I suggest one about engineering.'

'Oooh, good idea! You say it!', Ashley R pushed Gretchen ahead, shocking her. Stiff and stilted, she nervously laughed. 'Oh, um, ah…'

'Come on, you can do it! You know this stuff, like, 100% more than me! Like, flaunt that brain, girl!', Ashley encouraged, squeezing Gretchen's hand to motivate her.

Gretchen felt warm and confident. Smirking, she declared 'I'd suggest replacing your carburetor, but you probably run on chicken excretion!'

'Good, good! What is that?', Ashley asked.

'Chicken poop.', Gretchen giggled, and Ashley snorted, clasping her mouth. 'Oh, THAT will set them off!'

'CHICKEN POOP?! EWW! WHAT THE HECK IS A CARBURETOR? SPEAK ENGLISH!', Ashley B complained, Ashley Q and T hugging each other to hide from the gross.

Gretchen smirked even wider. 'Gladly.'

Cracking her knuckles, she stated 'I positively point to you as a pervasive, preposterous, predatory presentation of perplexing pre-paleolithic practices, a derivative, draining, docile distribution of draconian daintiness, a futile, frantic fracas of fashion fanaticism only Faust could fear to fabricate! I would wander way off west to wade where wonderous waters wash, beautifully bereft and bare of your blithering, brainless blabbering, but curiosity can't close its cataracts with its curved cuticles to curtail your crystal clear, catatonic crap!'

Ashley R, gaping, leaped into the air and whooped. 'LIKE, WAY WAY WAY COOL! PREACH, GRETCHEN!'

'NO, STOP PREACHING, I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!', Ashley B complained, massaging her temples.

'Can't be a large pain.', Ashley R barbed, Gretchen high fiving her without even looking.

'Finish them off.', she whispered, and Ashley R grinned enthusiastically. 'With pleasure.'

Thinking about what shocked her the most at the museum, Ashley loudly announced with an air of blistering belief and a proud smile on her supposedly "nerdy" face, 'You're all an insignificant speck situated atop the planet earth, orbiting the burning red star that is the sun!'

'THE SUN AND EARTH ORBIT ME!', all 3 Ashley's cried, only to turn on each other. 'NO, ME! ME!'

Slapping at each other with their backpacks, whining and crying and scratching, they all looked so… So…

'L-AME…', Ashley R whispered, surprised by the thought as she let it swim around her mind. It really did look rather… Pathetic.

Still, she felt satisfied. They had been so mean to her! And especially to Gretchen! Ashley A really didn't know why this bothered her so much, but it did. Her friends could use more… Class. Yes. Class!

Something they didn't have without her in SPADES, it seemed.

But something very much shared with her ally.

'Shall we, project partner?', Ashley R offered her hand, curtsying with her skirt and straightening her bow tie, making it look better than most would.

Gretchen, chuckling, curtsied back and clasped in return. 'Much obliged, project partner. Ciao!', she called out, adding insult to injury by using one of the Ashley's favorite terms.

They managed to look pretty honorable and respectable as they walked away…

Until they were out of sight.

Then they burst out laughing, leaning on each other and nearly falling.

'I DIDN'T… OMG, GRETCHEN! WARN ME NEXT TIME YOU DO… WHATEVER THE HECK THAT WAS! ALL THOSE WORDS, GUCCI ABOVE, MY TUMMY STILL HURTS!', Ashley R declared, holding said stomach in pain. Tears of mirth filled her eyes.

'The pot really does call the kettle black! You started it! That orbit burn! That was so clever! Just like how it shocked you at the museum!', Gretchen replied, leaning back on a wall to stop herself from falling.

Ashley R, smirking braggingly, leaned on a tree next to the wall Gretchen was leaning on and fluttered her eyelashes. 'Do my ears deceive me, dear Gretchen? Did you just say that I was, gasp, Clever?'

Gretchen, realizing she did, stopped laughing, seeming a bit phased.

Then she owned it, smirking back.

'Indeed.'

Ashley, betraying a little how much she loved to hear that, especially from Gretchen, fist pumped. 'Like, schway!'

She once more opted into a victory dance, playing her earlier song, "Honey", at full blast, hair and hips shaking. 'Uh huh, oh yeah! Only I could make this fit FIRE!'

Gretchen, affectionately shaking her head, walked side by side with her as she bopped. 'Any excuse to show off and dance.'

'You love it.', Ashley called back.

Gretchen hid her smile and nudged her. 'Hey, I thought I made it look pretty good too.'

'Mmh hmm. But I make it look BETTER.', Ashley replied and nudged back.

'You do.', Gretchen admitted, and Ashley stopped for a moment.

Thinking back to what her mother and siblings had said, to what the other Ashley's said, she gripped her arm, shy and scared and shaken. '…Really?'

Gretchen, who hadn't heard all that happened to Ashley inside the house, shrugged like it was a matter of fact. Because it was to her. 'Yeah. To borrow a phrase, duh. You're pretty in any fit, even a so-called "loser" fit.'

Ashley could have cried.

Instead, she ran around, grabbed Gretchen's arm, squeezed, and smiled a smile that could melt the sun that she orbited. 'I think I'm not regretting this plan after all.'

Gretchen, smiling back, nodded as they walked towards her home. 'Like, wise.', she called back, and the two giggled once more as they neared Gretchen's street, the afternoon sun washing them in an orange glow of subversive warmth.

I was originally going to release this Friday, but I couldn't write that day and Saturday, so it took me a while to get this one out, but here it is! I really quite enjoyed this one and the challenge it brought! I knew Ashley A would face struggles to keep her identity secret, but the ideas for how it could go wrong came flooding in as I wrote, leading to it feeling all the more dangerous! It was good to bring back some of her family (I know they've been a little underused, perhaps, they don't feel THAT important yet, but they will, trust me!), it was interesting to try and unlock her Ashley R vibe (she's not yet what I'm envisioning, but she's going to reveal sides of her you wouldn't expect, like in the museum!), and the banter battle was a load of fun! I feel like Ashley Q and T are definitely developing into their own characters, and that I have a better grasp of Ashley B too!

Something else I wanna discuss (besides the ever improving dynamic between Ashley and Gretchen, which is so fun to write, they are slowly becoming friendssss) is the attempt to make this fic feel 90's. Having watched lots of Recess, I do have a vibe for its, well, vibe, but 90's aesthetic isn't something that comes that naturally to me, despite having watched many shows from that time period. I'm trying in the last few chapters (and especially future ones) to make more explicit references and aesthetic choices, but feel free to tell me if it's working or not!

Also hoping to reference more late 90's music and culture! We have some TV refs coming up, plus more music, rap tinged this time around for the next few chapters, since we'll be showing more of Gretchen's stuff!

Speaking of next chapters, our next chapter is a doozy and a half, and I'm not kidding. We're talking some ANGST, people. It can't all be sunshine and rainbows (heh) with this dynamic, and things are gonna get a lil' upsetting, so just a warning for you! I'll add more over warnings when I post the next chapter, which I'm not totally sure when it will come out. Very much hoping for the weekend!