Starco vs Parenthood Introduction - These chapters can be read separately but they're all connected. It's always the same Star & Marco, same kids, same world.
This is set about 7 years after Cleaved, just a few days after their first child is born and Star is still emotionally adjusting. For context, the story takes place after 'Chapter 11 - Safe to Talk About Anything Dimension' but before 'Chapter 12 - World Building'. Note that any text in italics belongs to Star.
Favs, reviews, and constructive feedback are all really helpful. Thanks!
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Chapter 10 - Adventures in Merchandising
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In her city apartment, just before lunch, Star the Underestimated celebrates her latest victory.
"And the baby is o-u-u-u-t. Mama Star for the napping baby win!"
Marco gave his twenty-two-year-old wife a contradictory high-five. "Good job hun."
"Day three as a mom and I TOTALLY got this. My milk is finally in. She's latching on correctly. My body is starting to feel mewman again. Now only eighteen more years and then we're totally done with this whole raising a kid stuff!"
"Maybe she does a foreign exchange program so we can get a year off in there?"
"I sure hope this girl can handle sarcasm, otherwise this kid is going to HATE us."
"Whether she hates us or not, I want you to know that you've done a great job so far. The pregnancy, the birth, and the last few days, you've been amazing!" Marco followed up the complement with a kiss to the top of his Star's head.
"Yeah well, I'd still feel better if we didn't have to bring her back here. I have to say Marco, getting a one bedroom apartment in the city for college was a great idea, but now that we have a baby I think we need something less...less roachy. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Mewni roaches since they're big enough to wrestle out of the house, but these little Earth ones are so damn fast!"
"I hear you and I've been thinking about this too. Well to be more specific, I'm thinking about improving our revenue stream so we can start looking for a better place to live BEFORE we finish school."
A happy Star wrapped her arms around her Marco for a bestie hug. "Planzilla is scheming something, I like it! Gimme what you got!"
"First off, your appearance fees, my royalties, the stipend, and my weekend job are keeping us afloat fine as long as we stay on top of expenses. However, unless I get a real job lined up for when I finish my masters, the student loans are going to put us underwater."
"But you'll find something quick. Hey couldn't you ask Mr. Candle for help with the job search? Or is it Crandle?" As Star finished she pushed her husband down into a chair so she could curl up in his lap.
"Oh no, he'll just bring up Garbage Island again. I'll figure out something but my goal is still to find an entry level position where we not only pay off our loans, but MAYBE even start saving for the future."
"Better place would be nice, saving would be nicer, being able to eat out again...priceless."
"Exactly. So-o-o-o-o I have two ideas to go over with you. These are things we can do before I get this job situation figured out."
"Stop teasing, just tell me already!"
"Alright-alright. Idea number one, guess who's going to take over managing our finances?"
The former princess gave her husband a blank stare as she tried to think who they should trust with something so important. "Ah, Janna?"
"No Star, you are."
The young mother let out a snort. "Marco, did you get karated in the head!? You know I have the worst math skills out of all the Stars in the multiverse!"
"I admit, you're numbers challenged but I already have everything setup in our banking software. With the right tools it's really easy to stay on top of this stuff, you can totally handle it. I know we'll be busy with the baby and wrapping up school but I'm thinking you'll have time to learn since you're taking a light load next semester. Also if you know how it all works you'll have a better understanding of what we can and can't spend money on. Soon you'll be the budgeting queen." Marco followed his words with his best attempt at a cute smile hoping that would help sell his idea.
"Hmph, just the title I didn't want. I guess I'm glad you have faith in me."
"I also want you to know how to do it in case I'm not around for some reason."
"What you're really saying is now that I've given birth to your child so now you're thinking about leaving me. Nice one Diaz." She poked him hard in the chest to let him know she was teasing, kinda.
"Seriously Star, it's good that we both know how to do this. If we both understand the budget, maybe someone doesn't buy two cases of premium glitter just to decorate a few dozen birth announcements."
"Alright-alright, I'll stop buying glitter and maybe learn how to do the finances. Just don't get mad at me if I star it up and we run out of snack money."
"You'll do fine."
"Your second idea better not involve shaming my glitter habit."
"No shaming at all. Actually, you might like it. Let me get the box." With that he scooted himself out of the cushioned chair and walked across the room. Star waited patiently as he opened a still sealed package.
"It came in a box? Is it a surprise?"
"Big surprise. Currently we're three years away from the ten year Cleave-a-versary. In preparation for this I've been talking with the makers of the Princess Marco line about some new toys that would be perfect to start selling before the big event. This arrived just this morning." While keeping the surprise behind his back, he turned around to face her.
"MARCO, IT HAS TO BE A STAR DOLL! FINALLY!" Not able to contain herself, the young woman jumped out of her seat and hopped toward her husband. "I've SO wanted them to start making a teenage doll of me! I mean I didn't want one back when I was a kid, but a Star action figure that shows how we fought for monster rights and made the world a better place is super awesome! This is so exciting!"
"Well-"
The young woman couldn't stop herself from letting loose. ~ "Star doll dance!" ~
"Star-"
~ "My doll is going to be awe-some!" ~
"Star-"
~ "My baby is going to have a doll of me!" ~
"STAR! I love what you're doing here but we need to reset expectations."
"Why? It has to be a doll? I see the box behind your back, that's totally a doll box!"
"It is but-"
"But what?!" Once the young mother realized he was trying to calm her down, any remnants of her good mood were instantly gone.
"Let me present to you the first prototype for the MonStar doll." With that Marco held the toy up so his wife could finally see it through the clear plastic box.
"...wha-a?"
"So this is Princess MonStar."
"Marco, where's the Star doll?"
"Sorry, there is no Star doll."
"Don't kids want a Star doll? I...I was a FREAKING MAGIC WIELDING PRINCESS!"
"I know."
"HOW MANY TIMES DID WE RISK OUR LIVES FOR THE KINGDOM AND THEN FOR MONSTERS!?"
"Shhh...you're going to wake the baby."
"Gr-r-r-r...we were heroes Marco, both of us!"
"Star, I get it and I had a long talk with the company when they brought up this idea. Everyone agrees that you were a teenage hero but the market research said giving up your noble title and destroying magic doesn't sit well with the target doll purchasing market segment. It might seem hard to believe but evidently giving up a title and destroying magic are the worst things you can possibly do for doll sales."
"But...but..." Dismayed, Star fell back down into her seat.
"I'm sorry hun. I know you did all the right things when you were acting queen and with magic but this isn't about right or wrong. It's about selling toys to children who like magical princesses."
"...I...I don't know what to say. S-so, what the corn is a MonStar then?"
"Currently there are very few female monster toys on the market so MonStar fills that slot. She's fourteen and partially based on your life story up until that point. She wields a wand, she's a half-monster princess, and she likes to go on magical adventures."
"Sure sounds like what a Star doll should be without the monster part. So THIS is what kids want?"
"This is what the toy company thinks it can sell. She's cute right?"
"Seriously Macro?"
"Here, take her out of the box and check out how great she looks."
"Marco! It's just me with purple skin, white hair, and claws! They even giving her my hearts? FOR THE LOVE-OF-CORN, WHY ISN'T THIS A STAR DOLL! Oh wait SORRY, she also has a tail and fangs!"
"Star you have to understand, to make these they need to invest a whole bunch of money to building the product, on marketing, and then on distribution. Based on all their research, MonStar is our best shot. Plus if it's successful we'll be getting a much bigger royalty payment."
"So she going to be a role-model for young monsters?"
"Yes and look how cute she is!" Marco held the toy up in the air while moving her as if she was dancing.
"Argh! Seriously, stop trying to sell me on the cuteness!" Pulling it away from her husband Star held it up next to her head. "Here, look at my face and this purple waste of plastic side-by-side. Wouldn't a Star doll be cuter?"
"I think she's just as cute as a Star doll would be."
"Hmm." She shook her head, obviously disappointed with his answer.
"What?"
"Hypothetical question for my -darling- husband. If you met this magical MonStar princess at fourteen would you have fallen for her like you did for me?"
Marco thought his wife was acting a bit more upset then he expected from this. "Ah-"
"Don't chicken out safe-kid. I want an answer."
"So everything that happened is exactly the same?"
"Totally the same."
"She was just you but you looked like her?"
"Yup, just maybe she has a different dad or something."
"She...well...yes. Yes, I'd fall for her the same as I fell for you."
"Okay. Another hypothetical question for my -darling- husband. If you were fourteen and both MonStar and Jackie talked to you about the same dance, who would you go with?"
"Seriously?"
"Totally-serious-hypothetical-question!"
"This seems like a loaded quest-"
"Answer me Marco!"
Remembering that Star was still riding her post-pregnancy hormone roller-coaster he decided it was best to go with complete honesty. "I admit, I might do everything the exact same but then again maybe I'd feel sorry for MonStar because she's a half-monster. If I did I'd probably make sure I went to the dance with her instead of Jackie, assuming MonStar wanted to go."
Marco could almost hear the gears turning in his wife's head as she replayed the night of the Bon Bon disaster and imagined what might have been different if she had claws and fangs.
"Star?"
Whamp! Across the room the doll flew, right into the wall behind the father of her child.
"Hey! Don't throw MonStar at me!"
"I'm frustrated Marco and now I'm thinking fourteen wouldn't have been so awful if I had had a tail! Also, why-in-the-corn was I not good enough to be a role-model just the way I was! I mean just look at that baby in the bassinet! When she grows up how am I going to tell her that some purple market driving version of me is more worthy of a doll than her own mother! I...I can't do that. I'm not going to do that."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh, I'm sure!"
"Well...alright, if that's how you feel."
Star looked at him surprised. "Wait-wait, did you say alright!?"
"Alright."
"You aren't going to argue with me about this?"
"Nope. I understand your point of view and I respect your feelings on this. The royalties and getting a female monster role-model out into the market would be nice but I totally understand why you feel this way."
She rubbed her hands over her face. "Argh! You're so infuriating! Let me see her again."
Marco continued to be patient, remembering that not even three days before she was pushing a small watermelon out of her uterus. "Ah...here."
She held it again, flipping it over to study it from every possible angle. "This isn't one of those tricks where you agree with me in order to change my mind?"
"Star, I'm good with this but the doll IS based on your likeness. YOU have to be the one who approves moving forward. The only thing to keep in mind, you have about two weeks to decide. After two weeks there could be issues meeting their timelines."
"So basically I say yes now or it's never going to happen."
"Pretty much. They want it to be in stores a full year before the anniversary."
Suddenly a disturbing thought popped into her head. Ignoring the doll, she locked eyes with her husband and her face turned deathly serious. "Are you going to ask me to cos-play her?"
"Ah...well I-I hadn't thought about that."
"Marco, are you going to buy me a wig and purple body paint and ask me to dress up as her?"
"No Star, no. I mean if you really wanted to I wouldn't stop you."
"Yeah-yeah. I'm sure you'd love to have LOTS of fun with me as her. Who needs a boring mewman wife when you can have a half-monster to mess around with. You know maybe I should make you wear your dress again while we're at it."
"Star, if dressing up as Turdina would make you happy you know I'd do it for you."
"Well, you do look cute in pink."
"Hey, I hope you're aware that I'm really happy with the mewman wife I have. We did just have a baby together."
Star took a deep breath before lowering her head. "Sorry, I know I'm overreacting. It's just these feelings keep hitting me in the face and I my brain starts jumping to conclusion. You know it's the hormones right?"
"I figured."
"Listen, for this doll I still don't know what to do."
"You want to take some time to think about MonStar?"
"Yes, please. I also have this whole, being a role-model for our daughter thing that I need to figure out. I wonder if all parents go through this. She's only three days old and I'm already thinking about conversations where we have to explain everything we did back when we were kids. On top of that, if I say no MonStar I also have to explain to her why we lived with Earth-roaches as roommates for so long. If I say yes, maybe I do give monster kids a strong female role-model but then I have to explain to her why her mother wasn't good enough to have a doll."
"Star, you're a great role-model doll or no doll. If it is any consolation we're going to have to do a lot of explaining no matter what happens. Just remember, when it is time to talk, the three of us will do it together."
She looked more relaxed as she began stroking MonStar's hair. "Give me a day to think about it."
"You got it."
"So what happened if it's a hit? Do they make a book or a show about Princess MonStar that includes Princess Marco? I can totally see people shipping the two of them."
"I know that if MonStar was anything like you were at that age, I'd have a crush on her."
Star gave her husband a look of total disgust.
"W-why are you shaking your head?"
"When an adult talks about crushing on a fourteen-year-old, it sounds REALLY creepy."
"Waa." From the bassinet the two heard a tiny voice travel across the room.
"Ah...well...you're kind of right. It does sound creepy."
"REALLY creepy."
After a second the tiny swaddled loaf let out a cry. "Waaa!"
"Well creepy or not, I think our pumpkin is waking up."
Ptttttthhhhppt parrp! It had only been three days but the young parents were already well aware of the noises their baby made when dealing with gas.
"Wow, that was a loud one. Star, do you want to do the diaper check or do you want to make lunch?"
"I'll make lunch, Mr. Diaz. I think I've already seen enough weird shit this morning after looking at this doll. Still can't believe they want to make a purple me. She looks like my mom fooled around with Toffee or something. The people who come up with these ideas are crazy. You know, I bet she would look way better if we added some glitter."
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It's been a year since I wrote the original version. For the monthly reddit contest I decided to do a rewrite. Mostly I removed sections that weren't needed, tried to make some of the more import points clear, and cleaned up typos. Hopefully you liked the update. - Olin