Starco vs Parenthood Introduction - These chapters can be read separately but they are all connected. It's always the same Star & Marco, same kids, same world.
I decided to enter the r/StarVStheForcesofEvil March 2021 Writing Contest. The subject for the contest was 'Vacation'. I created a short outline for this story a month ago, well before knowing about the contest, but I didn't start doing any real work on it until yesterday. Hopefully I filled it in and polished it up enough. Don't let the title distract you, this is totally about vacations.
This is set about 20 years after Cleaved so Star and Marco would be 35. Their daughter is 13 and son is 10. Not required but I recommend first reading the previous chapter, Ninja Princess. I also posted that chapter today. It helps set up some of the threads that are used in this story.
Favs, reviews, and constructive feedback are all really helpful. Thanks!
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Chapter 14 - Mewnipause
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"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight 4461 with service from Los Angeles to New York City. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately seven minutes time. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Thank you for flying with Earthni Air. Enjoy your flight."
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Takeoff
Marco is standing up so he can adjust the bags overhead. Once he is sure that the door is closed correctly he turns to his family.
"Kids. Are you both good back there? Please I beg you, no fighting. I DO NOT want a repeat of last year's vacation. I'd rather spend a week locked in a closet with Auntie Janna than spend a week with you two fighting."
"Marco, sit down they are going to be fine! Headphones, movies, books, snacks...kid paradise for five hours. Just think, we get to pretend we have no children for the whole flight."
Marco gives one more 'dad is not going to put up with any of your crap today' look before setting next to his wife.
"Star, having them right behind us is not the same as having no kids."
"Perspective, honey. Perspective. I don't see them while I'm sitting here. Do you see them when you're sitting there?"
He took a deep breath as he tried to relax. "Sure. No kids. Just two random strangers who look like younger versions of us kicking our seats. Then once we land I even get to manage these two random strangers for a week while you're working."
"Perspective, honey. Perspective. It might not be ideal but it's still a vacation. Luckily they only need me at the UN for half the week, not even. The rest of the time I am all yours! Hey, I forgot to ask...did you want the aisle?"
"Assigned seating Star."
"Come on wild man! Or is seat swapping TOO wild for you?" She tried her best to hold back a giggle as she teased him.
"Sorry, I'm just nervous. I haven't flown in a while except with Nachos."
"Oh...OH! Totally forgot! Here...totally not a barf bag. Just keep it close."
"Thanks. I'll do my best not to need it. Hopefully there's no turbulence."
"You'll be fine. I know that misunderstood-bad-boy-Marco would never puke in a little baggy but if he did, his kids would SO end up telling everyone."
"Are you going to be in this kind of mood the whole flight?"
"Vacation starts now baby! Over five hours of flying love just for you! Aren't you glad you married me!"
"I totally should have invited Tom so we could have taken the fire column."
"Relax hun! Come here, pre-takeoff kisses!"
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The Flight
An uneventful thirty minutes later.
"Hey Star, did you notice how there are no larger monsters on the plane?"
"Yeah. There are some flights where they have larger seating but they are always limited by the size of the airplane doors. Our UN subcommittee has this as part of our agenda. During day two we talk about incentives for airplane and motor vehicle manufacturers. The hope is to try to get them to account for larger monsters in their designs."
"Star, are you taking off your shoes?"
"Five more hours Marco. You want to rub my feet?"
"Isn't taking off your shoes on a plane one of those unspoken no-no's?"
"Hun, I showered just before we left for the airport and I'm wearing stockings. Come on, make your bestie happy...ahh that's it."
"I guess a trip to the East Coast every other month has turned you into a flying pro?"
"I know the whole routine now. We should be getting our peanuts soon."
"So you're not worried at all about these kids being in New York City for the first time?"
"Not at all. They'll like the hotel and I can't wait to take them for dim sum. The boy is going to love the Arms & Armor section of the MET, they have all these amazing swords and samurai armor. He is going to flip when he sees them. Our family is going to have an awesome time!"
"You know, it's really nice seeing you this happy. I miss this face. I know work has been a drag for you lately. I assume that is why I haven't been seeing it as much as I used too."
"Are you saying that I'd look better if I smiled more?"
"I am SO not touching that one."
"I admit, I'm happy. Mama Star is finally getting to share a big adventure with her whole family! Really I've been looking forward to this all year."
"You are adorable."
"Hey...could you scratch my back. I have this itch under my left wing. Here, I'll turn around."
"Under?"
"It's a stretchy shirt. Just go under it and unhook my bra."
"Star!?"
"It's fine, no one is going to see anything. If you don't get the spot I'm going to be thinking about it for HOURS!"
"Fine. Just keep an eye out."
"You need help back there or are you just going to keep rubbing my wings?"
"These clips are hard. I'll get it just give me...there."
"AAAAHH-YEAAAAAH!"
"Shhhhh!"
"Don't you dare stop scratching."
"Under the other wing too?"
"Oh yeah!"
"I feel like this is the weirdest version of the mile high club ever."
"Keep it up and you just might get into the not so weird version of that club. OH HI! YES! I'D LIKE A GINGER ALE AND PEANUTS PLEASE. HUN ANYTHING FOR YOU?"
"NO-NO ALL SET HERE!"
Star could barely hold in her giggle. "That was awesome! THANK YOU FOR THE SNACKS!"
Marco shook his head until the steward was attending the passengers in front of them. "Star! You were supposed to be our look out!"
"HAHAHAHA! You should see how red your face is right now!"
"You're lucky you're so freakin cute."
"Thank you for taking care of that itch, I feel much better. Can you re-clip me? Then I'll stop bugging you if you want."
"I think I got it...wait...okay there you go. Listen, now that I'm sure that I'm not going to get sick during the flight I'm going to take out my tablet. I've been looking forward to finally doing some non-work related reading. Can you move your legs over? Just going to grab the tablet bag."
"Get mine out too while you have the bag open."
"Awww...crap! My tablet, it's dead."
"Need my charger?"
"No Star, it seems I shouldn't have let our little ninja princess carry the tablet bag."
"Oh corn, that's pretty smashed! You have to admit, when he dropped it on the escalator and watched the bag roll for a few minutes...it did seem pretty funny. Just don't go too hard on him, I can tell he already felt bad about dropping it. Here, you can use mine. Not a scratch on it. I'm glad now that I gave you the bigger one."
"Five hours Star. What are you going to do with no tablet for five hours?"
"Airplane-nap-awesomeness. I've developed a few super powers that help me survive these long flights. Airplane napping is one of them. Hey, Amanda sent me a bunch of new romance stories you can read on my tablet if you want."
"Amanda? Romance stories?"
"Starfan."
"Ah! Wait...are these the stories she writes about us?"
"She doesn't do that so much anymore. Mostly they are made up characters. Plus she doesn't write all of them, she does more editing these days. Anyway, she sends me stories she likes. These long flights are perfect for them."
"Alright, I guess it's something to read. Just show me how to get to them."
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In the seats directly behind the two besties, Star and Marco's kids are co-existing.
"Hey sis, can I use the armrest now?"
"Dude, no. We made a deal. You get the armrest during takeoff and landing. I get it during the flight."
"But I didn't know the flight would be soooo long."
"If you're really that pitiful I'll be nice and let you use it during meals."
"And during snacks?"
"FINE."
"Thanks sis."
"Whatever. Actually, why don't you go use the restroom."
"Ah...why?"
"I see you squirming in your seat. Just use the bathroom. "
"But I heard that the bathrooms on a plane are weird."
"Dude! We are here for four or five more hours. Go before you wet the seat."
"Aaaah...I'll be right back."
"That kid."
Noticing that her son's seat is open behind her, Mama Star plops herself down into it.
"OH! Hi mom!"
"Hi pumpkin, okay if I come visit while your bro is getting freaked out in the restroom?"
"Yeah sure. Watch out he might have dropped some chocolate in his seat."
"Thanks for the warning. So what'cha reading?"
"Just a paper on the theory of Magical Chain Escalation."
"Oh, I never saw that in the spellbook. Would it have made a magic chain that tosses bad guys up in the air?"
The thirteen year old shook her head in disappointment. "No mom. It's about how interdimensional soul consuming magic could be used to access true-magic for creating dimensional portals if the right catalyst incantations are used. As a kid you did learn about escalating lesser magic to access higher forms of magic right?"
"Well...sure I remember...ah...TOM! Yeah Tom could do that with his fire column before magic was destroyed. He used to be able to go between dimensions. That is what you mean, right?"
"That is one example of it and you NEED to be clear mom, only true-magic was destroyed. There is still soul-magic and innate-magic. For real mom, didn't you study any of this when you had true-magic?"
"Sorry, hun. I spent more time adventuring with your dad then getting onto details like this. But hey, I did have a mean Warnicorn Stampede."
"Well...good for you mom. I bet it was great." The teen's words where dripping with sarcasm.
"I know you're not impressed. I'll be honest with you, I don't think any of the queens studied magic theory as scientifically as you have. I bet you would have done some amazing work with everything you know about all the different types of magics and escalation thingies. If he was still alive Glossaryck would have LOVED you."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Oh your brother is coming back. Magic or no magic, I love you too!"
The girl sighed, disappointed in her mom. "Love you too."
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Star winks at her son before returning to her seat. Nervously he does one final look up and down the aisle before sitting back down.
"That was quick. Did you remember to wash your hands after?"
"Yeah but it was so weird."
"Remembering to wash your hands was weird or seeing your pee get sucked out of a plane was weird?"
"Both but what was really weird was that I walked by two kids on my way to the restroom and they looked just like kid versions of mom and dad. It was like they walked out of one of grandma Diaz's old pictures of them."
"Dude, seriously?"
"Then I looked for them on the way back here because I was gonna say hi and they were GONE."
"Yeah, they must have jumped out of the plane while you were in the bathroom."
"You think?"
"Totally dork, totally. Just go back to watching your movie."
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Twenty minutes later Marco is busy reading while Star looks at pictures of herself on her phone.
"Can't sleep yet?"
"I'll get there. Okay if I bug you for now?"
"You put permanent permission to bug me into our wedding vows so I don't think I have a choice."
"I'm thinking of getting my eyebrows plucked."
"No."
"You sure? Look at this picture. Wouldn't they look better plucked?"
"Ten thousand percent NO. You're perfect and with our luck you'd end up looking like one of those old mewmans with painted on eyebrow lines."
"Marco! Those people probably had brow-pox as children! They totally can't help it!"
"Brow-pox?" The former knight rubbed a hand over his face. "You would think that I'd know all this Mewni stuff by now. Anyway, no touching your eyebrows. Your face is beautiful. I'll be honest with you, I don't get upset with any of the hair on your body. You could let it all grow and I'd love it."
"Really!? Hmm...what about the chin hairs? Do you like the chin hairs? I think I have one going on right here. You want to touch it?"
"..."
"Come on, touch it!"
"Maybe not the chin hairs."
"Seems my husband's love DOES have a limit!"
"..."
"Don't shake your head at me, come over here and kiss it. Kiss it!"
"Mmmm. I love you. Chin hairs can still go."
"Fine, I'll consider just shaving my chin from now on and nothing else. We'll see for how long you like that."
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Several minutes after their conversation Star looks out the window and then smiles as she studies Marco's face.
"Hey, want to play a game?"
"Hmm? Sure."
"Truth or truth?
"I'll pick, truth."
"The girl was talking to me about magic and it got me thinking. What would you do if suddenly magic came back right now?"
"Ah...after I freak out?"
"You freaking out is a given. First thing you do after that."
"Do I have the wand? Do my scissors work?"
"You have the wand and your scissors totally-totally work."
"Alright. First I would go check on Hekapoo to see if the magic returning also brought her back."
"Seriously? First thing you do is check in on your precious H-poo? I mean she was great and all but with how old she was I bet she had a TON of chin hairs."
"She's the friend I miss the most so yeah, I would go see if she came back. Why, what would you do?"
"Portal us to the hotel so we can get a few hours of private adult time. To make it extra fun I'd make sure to stay in butterfly form for you."
"And while we're doing that we'd leave the kids on the plane?"
"Exactly, we would just need to pick them up when they land."
"You are so much better at vacationing then I am."
"Come here, mid-flight kisses!"
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Descent
Sooooo many hours later.
"Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent to JFK, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. Thank you."
"Star wake up, we are going to be landing soon."
"...no...no...five more..."
"Star? You said to wake you up once we start descending."
"...arrrg...okay. I'm awake. Morning! Or is it afternoon?!"
"Afternoon."
"Do we have time for a decent kiss? Wait, did you use the barf bag while I was asleep?"
"No Star, I didn't use the bag."
"Oh good, decent kisses are safe then."
"Mmmm."
"..."
"Marco, what kind of kiss was that!? Something happened! Are the kids fine?"
"Nothing happened, kids are fine. But...I have to ask you about these stores."
"Oh! Were they a little too romancy for you? One of the benefits of getting a hotel suite, we can totally make those kids sleep in the other room if the romance got you all worked up."
"No Star. I mean, some of these were pretty...well...very adult. Buuut..."
"I'm sensing a Marco-moment coming on. What's bothering you?"
"In each one it is a Mewni princess or queen who falls in love with some human. For the most part the lead female seems a lot like you and the significant other seems a lot like me."
"Writers can't help it, we're a classic!"
"Well...I don't like how they portray the relationship between the two characters. In all of them the one who seems like me gets all pathetic the first time the two...engage in adult activities together. They do it once and he is suddenly all ready to become a king or give up everything in his life for her. He...he just always seems all pathetic after."
"Do you need a reminder? I distinctly remember SOMEONE being all, 'Star-Star hold my hand, please hold my hand. It's like our souls are touching. I'm going to remember this moment for the rest of my life. I will always love you, always forever and ever and ever...'"
"You know, I was being thoughtful and romantic! What I distinctly remember was considering stitches because SOMEONE put scratches in my back so deep that they wouldn't stop bleeding."
"Well lucky for you, your pathetic is pretty romantic. Also, I never said I didn't enjoy it. I'm just saying don't be so hard on these stories."
"Well...what was also weird is that they got into a lot of wild stuff. It makes me wonder, is there any other Mewni craziness that I don't know about?"
"Always blaming the Mewni craziness instead of the Earth craziness. Alright, what do you mean?"
"I'm going to use the term you and me for the main characters just to make this easier. In a bunch of them you give me a magical mark that connects us together. Sometimes one of us turns into a demon or is a monster. In one of them I'm a complete asshole who needs a magical princess to make me not want to kill myself or others. In another you use magic so we can...spend some adult time...in ways I don't think are physically possible. And in just about all of the stories there are very adult versions of Mewberty, the Blood Moon, curses, mind control, and all sorts of other crazy Mewni magic that I've never even heard of. Mix in trips to adult themed dimensions and things get really crazy."
"Sounds like Amanda really likes those types of stories. The last batch she sent me was all full of harem stuff which I told her I didn't like. All they do is make me think about how many women want to get their hooks into you. I'll never share these abs."
"Yeah, well I need to know...is any of this based on anything real? I mean you never put any secret spells or curses on me that I don't know about did you? Or...or you never took me to some weird dimension to drug me or wipe my mind?"
The former princess did the best she could to hold in her laughter. "Well I did totally cast that a-dork-able curse on you! Remember that time I bit your cutie patootie. When I did that I made sure to leave the mark where no one could see it."
"STAR!"
"SHHHHhhh...I'm joking! Remember, I overheard you telling Tom that I can be a pain in the ass back when we were in college and that was my payback. It was just a love bite! You know I didn't have magic or anything like that in college."
"Seriously Star, none of this is based on things that could have happened right? You didn't do any of this stuff to me back when we were kids?"
"Marco, relax! Nothing like that happened. You know all the same stuff that I know. It's true that some mind altering spells could have been cast on us but you know I never played with any of that. I also never hid anything about the dimensions we visited. As for other stuff you would think is weird...you saw when I used to go all butterfly mode, you know about all my magical accidents, you know everything. Really you shouldn't even worry about any of that, with no more magic the only big Mewni thing left we need to worry about is mewnipause and you already know all about that?"
"Star? Mewnipause!?"
"Oh corn, I never told you?"
"You never told me. Is that like menopause?"
"MEN-o-pause!? Oh corn, DOES MEWNIPAUSE HAPPENS TO HUMAN MEN TOO!?"
"SHHHhhh! Everyone in the seats around us are going to hear you."
"Sorry! Marco, I had no idea? So...what falls off? Are you going to lose your testicles or something like that?"
"STAR!"
"SHHHhhh! Look who's yelling now!"
"Star, first off men-o-pause has men in the name but it only impacts women. It totally does NOT impact men."
"Oh good, that would be awful if they just fell off one day. So other than having the most misleading name ever, what is menopause?"
"I might be missing some of the details but it involves hormone changes when women stop ovulating. Somehow hot flashes happen but I don't know much more than that."
"OHHHH! Yeah, that's just like mewnipause."
"Whew...you had me worried that there could be more to it."
"Well there is more to it since I used to be able to use magic."
"...more?"
"If there was still magic I might stop being able to transform into butterfly form. Also, the thing would happen to my wings."
"Your wings?"
"Yeah, I'll likely lose my wings."
"...w..h..a..t?"
"Marco, are you okay?"
"...did you say, lose..your..wings?" A tear began to form in her husband's eye.
"Yeah."
"...Star...honey, I-I love your wings!" As he spoke the single tear was quickly multiplying.
"Oh honey! It is going to be okay. It won't happen for a long time."
"B-but that's awful!"
"Marco, I assume I'm more than just a pair of wings to you."
"Star!"
"Listen, I know you REALLY like them...in a kinda creepy way...but it is unlikely that they can stay back there forever. I'm not an airplane or a real butterfly so I can't fly with them. I mean without being able to change into butterfly form they don't really do much right now other than give you something to play with. Kinda like the girls on the front side once there's no chance that I'll be nursing again."
"...do the girls..."
"Just to be clear, the girls don't fall off. However, much like this plane...they descend."
"Star…" As sadness gripped him, he used his sleeve to wipe around his eyes.
"You look like you're about to cry. Did I give you too much to think about?"
"Way too much." As he completed his sentence he felt the pitch of the plane change and his seat began vibrating.
"Relax. Like I said, it'll be a long time before any of that happens. And before you ask, yes my mom has lost her wings. However, you'll have to ask about the status of her girls yourself."
"I think I'll pass on that one. Ah...Star. I forget, is the...the airplane's descent normally this...this...bouncy?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared to land at JFK. Please make sure one last time that your seat belt is securely fastened. The flight attendants are currently passing around the cabin to make a final compliance check and pick up any remaining cups and glasses. Thank you."
"Marco, you look ghost white. Is it the bouncing because we are coming in for a landing or because of mewnipause?"
"YES!"
"You have the bag right?"
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Landing
One minute after touchdown.
"See, we made it! We just have to taxi to the gate, no more bouncing. Just keep focusing on breathing."
Marco moved air in and out of his lungs as if he was about to give birth. "Star...once kids are in bed tonight...I-I want to talk more about mewnipause."
"Definitely. We take a taxi or car service to the hotel, get some Thai-Johanson fusion, visit Times Square, and then get the kids setup on the other side of the suite. Once they are asleep we can talk ALL about it. If you need some time with them, I'll let you have as much time with my wings as you need. Even if you are a little sad now I'm going to make sure you have the best vacation possible. This trip is all about making good memories so when we are all old and everything on our bodies is falling off we have lots of special times that we can talk about."
"I'd like to say this vacation started off special but I think I ruined it. During the landing I puked in my mouth and then swallowed it back down. Arrgh...my throat feels all gross now."
"Yeah, so we are going to have to hold off on the landing kisses. I discovered I have some limits on my love too."
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There it is. More adult themed then my other stores but hey, it's vacation! I don't know about you but I would 100% try Thai-Johanson fusion, I imagine all sorts of meats in peanut sauce. Yum!
If Marco mentioned some fan stories in there that you think are yours and you want credit just let me know and I'll mention you. I tried to keep to common themes but I might have misremember what I've read (or in some cases started to read and stopped, I do that a lot).
For the March 2021 Writing Contest folks, I'm totally not expecting to win. However I hope this ended up being a fun read for you. If it at least made you laugh then I'll consider that a win. Thanks! - Olin
AsSeenInBaybayin & Shaeril McBrown - Thank you for the nice comments! - Olin
* EDIT: Yes, this chapter is linked to the chapter 'Future-Do-Over'. *