Starco vs Parenthood Introduction - All of these chapters can be read separately but they are connected. It's always the same Star & Marco, same kids, same world.
WARNING - This story starts with some Warhammer 40K references. If you don't know anything about 40K I suggest jumping to the second section of Part 1. I put in a note where the 40K references end. This is also the first chapter with lots of references to other chapters. These include Consent, The Ballad of Janna's Greatest Prank, Park Bench and the Multiverse, Cleaved, World Building, Forever, and likely a few more. You might want to read those if you haven't already but who am I to tell you what to do?
This chapter starts 11 months after Earth and Mewni were cleaved. It's summer and both Star and Marco are well into 16.
Favs, reviews, and constructive feedback are all really helpful. Thanks! (Favs for the fav god!)
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Chapter 26 - Queen and King
Part 1 - War
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In an Echo Creek garage, a week after Star's junior year of high school and Marco's first year of college have ended, two armies prepare for a glorious battle that will somehow fit on a carefully prepared 4' x 6' table. Marco is getting out his rulebooks and dice while Tom is starting to unpacking his miniatures.
"Marco, dud! Nice terrain setup!"
"Thanks Tom. I based everything off the Neverzone. Afflicted Forest. Afflicted Ruins. Afflicted Marsh. I even wrote up custom rules to represent wild lightning."
"I'm also digging the sweet-sweet Space Marines colors. Are they Blood Angels or is it a custom chapter?"
"Custom. I used Dark Angel heads for the hoods but stuck with a red theme. Can't go wrong with red hoodies. I did think about using Blood Angel rules but I'm not into the whole vampire lore. I still need to do thirteen more layers of highlights but I think they're looking pretty good for a $650 army. I bought most of it off of this guy who had been hiding the hobby from his wife. He hadn't even finished building a third of the models yet so it was like getting them new."
"Nice. Too bad for him. Also, too bad for you that my Grand Chaos Collation is going to wipe that sad excuse of humanity's finest out of existence. I got horrors, cultists, demon engines, and of course a custom greater demon prince modeled after yours truly."
"WHOA TOM! Those models look amazing! They must have taken you hundreds of hours to sculpt and paint."
"Nah, I just reanimated a few dozen artists and had them put it all together for me. Evidently the pre-renaissance masters are really good at painting demon flesh."
"Tom! Building and painting everything yourself is one of the most important parts of the hobby! You can't just have others do all the work for you!"
"No way dude. Smashing your foes and drinking their tears, that's the hobby. Sure the art side is nice but I don't have time for all that. Painted by me or not, is my army going to bathe in Space Marine blood today or what?"
"I guess but don't be surprised if those demons end up bathing in bolter fire instead. You might have a plan for dealing with my Red Knights but based on the battle reports I've been watching, things never work out as expected."
"Oh, I know what's going to happen."
"I guess we'll have to throw dice and see. Oh, I almost forgot. Is it okay if Star plays with us? I was thinking we could play two-on-one if you have enough points."
"Star?"
"Yeah."
"Our Star is going to play 40K?"
"Yeah."
"Marco, are you out of your mind?"
"W-why can't Star play 40K with us?"
"Dude, they say this is the easiest edition ever but I still need ten rulebooks, three FAQs, and two sets of designer notes to run my army. How is she going to understand charge distances, terrain modifiers, and the new line-of-sight rules? I've been studying strategy guilds for months and character targeting still confuses me. There is no way Star is going to be able to understand any of this."
"Wait-wait-wait, are you saying that Star isn't smart enough to play 40K?"
"No! Well...maybe...I mean she's not dumb but come on Marco, you've know her for almost as long as I have."
"Tom, I assure you Star can handle this. I'll admit, she can play dumb princess when it suits her and she can be willfully ignorant about subjects she doesn't care about. I'll also give you that math is not her strong point. But overall, she is just as smart as you and I are."
"Oh really?"
"One-hundred percent."
"So, you think she can play 40K then?"
"She hasn't read all of the books so I might need to help her with some of the rules but, if I leave all the strategy to her I bet she'll kick your butt."
"Oh, this sounds like a bet I'm going to win."
"Bring it. Just no changing your list around, you need to face Star with what you brought to face me."
"Done. So if I win, you have to admit that I always was an awesome boyfriend back when Star and I were dating."
"I can work with that Tom. But, if Star wins you have to let us use the fire column for a whole month and we can go anywhere we want."
"A whole month? Your admission has to be on video then so I can show Janna."
"You're on." With a slight smirk working across his face, Marco opens the door leading from the garage to the rest of his parent's house. "HEY STAR, TOM'S HERE! YOU STILL GOING TO PLAY WITH US?"
From a few rooms away they hear her voice. "...yup...coming."
"REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR ARMY!"
"Wait, she's not using your army?"
"Nope. I didn't want her to feel left out so I bought her an army too. She's been all into putting models together and painting them."
"What's she playing then? I'll need to change psychic abilities if I'm not facing Space Marines."
"No-no-no Tom. The deal was no list changes."
"Is she playing Sisters? I see her being all into close-range flame throwers. Can I just change my warlord trait?"
"Tom, no changes. So around the time I got my army I took her to the local game store to look at all the different models. Sisters were an option but she decided they weren't Star enough for her."
"Space Wolves? I know River would be into Space Wolves."
"Star did like the little doggies but no, still not Star enough."
"Guard?"
"Nope."
"Eldar?"
"Nope."
"So then what army is she playing?"
The garage door is suddenly kicked open by an angry blonde wrecking ball. In her arms is a tray of the cutest little pink armored green space monsters that have ever been glued together. To top it all off they have been dusted with a fine coat of the sparkliest glitter $650 can buy. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
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Two hours later, while Marco is preparing some post-game snacks, Star is dancing around the table as she takes her last turn.
"And this Wizzy-Ork tells these thirty Dance-Party-Orks, 'YOUZ ALL IMAGINE DA FOOT OF MARCO STOPPIN ON THE SAD WITTLE DEMONZ'." Her eyes suddenly focus on the table as two dice are rolled. "Eight plus three, ELEVEN! STOMP STOMP STOMP!" With a smile she scopes up a handful of dice and tosses them into the tray Marco had given her to help keep her six siders from going everywhere. "Wow, that's a lot of successes. Bye-bye, sad little Tom demons!"
"I-I can't believe I'm going to get tabled."
"And now this cute Bubblegum-Shoota is going to cover your demon prince in a single big sticky bubble with the hope that everyone can just watch him float away." A series of dice are again rolled. "Oh! I hit and wound! Go on General Tom, try to save it! See if you can ignore the big mean bubble OF DOOOOM!"
Tom looked at his roll and sighed. "One."
"Don't forget your reeeeerrrrooollll!"
"Arrrgh! One."
"Aw, poor little demon prince is all stuck in the big mean bubble that blows him out of the Neverzone. And-and-and next these twenty eight Super-Happy-Fun boyz in your deployment zone are going to imagine that their gunz are full of DAKKA-DAKKA-DAKKA before running up to give BIG-DEFF-HUGZ to the last of those tiny little cultists. So Tom, do I use the five pound bag of dice for this roll or the ten pound bag?"
"Like Marco said, the five pound bag is for when the big ork units are shooting. The ten pound bag is for when the big ork units charge."
After picking up the smaller bag Star fills the little tray with die rolls. "Looks like my cute Sparkle-Orkies got them all. Poor whittle demon wannabes. They'll need to go back to their demon dimension all disappointed." Turning to the door leading to the rest of the house she calls out to her boyfriend. "HEY MARCO! I THINK WE'RE DONE! ARE NACHO'S READY YET? Mama Star's boyz need to get their post-game Waaagh! party on!"
With his head down Tom gets the boxes out so he can start packing up his army for the trip back to the Underworld. Almost feeling bad about what happened, Star puts her hand on his shoulder trying to keep him from being too upset. "Hey, thanks for coming over today Tom. I know letting me play was a last minute thing but I had a lot of fun. Maybe we can do this again next weekend? We just have to play here instead of at the game store that Marco took me to. It totally smelled like unwashed boys in there."
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[Author's Note: You're totally 40K safe from this point on...mostly.].
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It's almost 3 PM and Rafael lets the teens know that the rest of the family is heading out for the evening. After saying goodbye to Mariposa and Marco's parents the three friends decide to chillax in the Diaz living room. Marco brings out a second tray of post-game treats while Star basks in the glory of her miniature win. Tom however sits confused and full of questions.
"Seriously Star, how'd you do it? In our game, once we got through your half of the third turn I could see that you were two-steps ahead of me the whole time. I know you destroyed magic but do you still have access to a mind reading spell somehow?"
Star, who had her feet up on the sofa while drinking a soda, let out a snort causing her beverage to almost come out her nose. "Oh-corn! That was so gross! Marco! Napkin quick! No Tom, no magic." Within a second her boyfriend hands her a tissue and she wipes drips of orange off her face. "You might not believe it but Marco took me to this business seminar at the college on how to make decisions based on risk-reward mumbo-jumbo stuff and...what did they call it again? Anyway, they talked all about how to focus on maximizing the advantages you have while exploiting the disadvantages of your competitors. It seemed dorky at first but then I realized that if we had knights back in Mewni who knew this stuff, maybe Ludo and an army of rats wouldn't have been able to take over the kingdom while my mom and I weren't there to protect it."
Parking himself next to his girlfriend, Marco puts a hand on her knee as he joins the conversation. "Star's right. It was just a business seminar but a lot of the same rules apply to war games and some say war itself. While we were painting models, Star and I also talked about target priority, overlapping fire arcs, and we started going over my thoughts on this Earth book from the 5th century BC called the Art of War by Sun Tzu."
Tom just looked at the two of them stunned. "Wait. Just so I'm clear, you took lessons from a class on how to run a business, combined it with some ideas on war you read in an old book, taught it to Star, and then used that to demolish me in a miniatures game I've been studying for months?"
The young couple just nodded in unison as Star dug into her snacks. "Tom you should sooo try these, Marco started adding seasoned ground beef to his nachos and they are AMAZING."
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After getting some food for himself the young half-demon relaxes in one of the living room chairs. While examining every edible triangle on his plate he speaks to the room not really paying attention to what his friends might be doing.
"You know, even though they didn't all work, Marco had some great ideas back when we fought adult Meteora. Seriously Marco, if you could combine your ability to plan with Star's good instincts, what couldn't you two handle? Imagine if you actually had experience leading a real army or-or a kingdom. Star, I always thought you would be a great queen because of your magic but even without magic you two working together could really do just about anything. Imagine if you could rule together AND you had magic. I bet you two could run a whole inter-dimensional empire or even..."
Tom looked up from his plate and suddenly his brain went blank. Neither Star nor Marco was listening. Instead her left hand had slipped up the back of her boyfriend's hoodie so she could stroke the skin on his lower back. At the same time his right hand, which had been holding her knee, was occasionally sliding up and down the length of her shin. All the while they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes as they stuffed crunchy foods into their faces. Instead of talking, Tom became lost in his own thoughts.
'It's been a year and they are still so into each other. Look how happy she is. She really is fun to be around when she's in a good mood and everything he does is all about getting her there. I bet if I wasn't here they would be...be...' Remembering that Marco's parents had left, Tom's eyes became as round as saucers. "Oh...OH! I-I should go. I just remembered I have...ah...Underworld stuff I should do. Yeah, Underworld stuff I need to do for my mom!"
Star replied back to him but never broke eye-contact with her boyfriend. "You sure Tom? We were just going to hang out until dinner and I don't know...maybe watch a movie."
"No-no, I should go. Hey Marco, would you be able to help me get my figs loaded into my carriage? I just need help carrying my stuff."
"Sure Tom, no problem."
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Ten minutes later the few remaining miniatures have been packed away in their special padded boxes and the boys are loading the last of the containers inside of Tom's carriage.
"Hey Marco, can I ask you a weird question? It's kind of personal."
"Sure, shoot."
"I don't know what you two have planned for the future but you do realize that if Star had stayed a princess you two would be an amazing queen and king?"
"Ah...Tom...you think about Star and I getting married?"
"Sure, don't you?"
"Well...I mean...ah...I guess...maybe."
"Traditionally Mewman's get married at a younger age than people from Earth. Janna was telling me it's because Earthers normally live longer. Anyway, I think Moon was eighteen or nineteen when she married River."
"Yeah, so?"
"Marco, I see how Star looks at you. How she acts around you. She loves you dude. Don't be surprised if she asks you soon."
"...s-soon? Tom, we're just sixteen and we've only been going out for a year."
"It's only been a year but you do remember how she used to make me wear your old hoodies? Soon dude. Star's never been good at waiting for things so make sure you're ready for it. I'd hate for you to say something you end up regretting, you two have been known to do that."
"...s-soon?"
"I know Star's not a princess anymore but like you said before our game today, things never work out as expected. Good luck dude. Or should I say, King Marco."
As Tom's carriage pulls away Marco stands in his front yard considering Tom's words. After a few minutes his phone vibrates and the red hoodie wearing young man sees a new text message from his girlfriend. While he reads, his expression changes from slight confusion to elation. Sprinting back inside the house, Marco repeats the same words over and over again. "I'm going to earn my Wing Belt! I'm going to earn my Wing Belt!"
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Part 2 - Destruction
Eight years later, Star and Marco are both twenty-four and their daughter is two. On the spot where Marco once built a sand-Ludo nine years earlier, a pregnant Star sits under a beach umbrella next to her husband. While lounging on their comfy outdoor chairs Star rests an open bag of popcorn on her growing baby belly. At the same time their young daughter plays in the sand in front of them with a green plastic bucket and a red toy shovel.
"I'm gonna build da castle!"
"Nice! Do you want daddy to help you with that? I'm all about building sandcastles. Sand-castles, sand-monsters, sand-..."
The little girl just frowns at her father. "No! Can do myself. I da queen. Daddy, you be da king and I be da queen. And mama-mama! You-you da dragon!"
"Aww, why does mommy get to be the dragon?"
"Mama got big belly, like dragon belly. And she good at rarrwaarrr-arrgg!"
"Hear that Star, your daughter has found another one of your secret talents."
Star just gave her husband a look and followed it up with three pieces of popcorn tossed at his face. "Careful there King Marco, I might need to capture you and lock you away in my tower."
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The karate master relaxes in his chair with eyes closed while his wife watches the first moat being dug. As their daughter sets up a second defensive trench Star considers the life she and her husband have been building together.
"Marco hun?"
"Hmm? Yeah?"
"Question time."
"Are we playing Truth-or-Truth again?"
"Nope, I just have a single simple question for you."
"Shoot."
"Did...did you want to be king?"
"Well, being king while my daughter is queen does bring up some ethical questions that I'd rather avoid but, overall I'm fine with it."
Star let out a sigh. "Totally not what I meant. I mean back-in-the-day."
"Wait, you mean real king? Like the king of Mewni king?"
"Yes, the king of Mewni king. What else would I be talking about? I remember how you felt about me back when I was a princess. Did you ever think about being king? Is that something you ever wanted?"
"Ah...you really want to know?"
"Why would I have asked if I didn't want to know? Of course I want to know. Just think, if I had been able to deal with Meteora on my own maybe...maybe you're my king right now."
"Yeah but that didn't happen so we never need to worry about it."
"Marco, if my mom had her way I'd still be in-line to take her place as co-queen. That would make you…"
"Co-king?"
"This could all still happen Sir Dorko, it's a relevant question. Seriously, if I didn't turn down Eclipsa when pumpkin here was born I'd be a princess right now. So, did you ever want to be king?"
"Is Janna recording this or anything?"
"You know I had Janna swear to stop doing that years ago."
"This is going to stay just between you and me then right?"
"Total Starco secret. I'm never going to tell anyone."
"Alright. So your dad. Your dad is a truly wonderful person and I'm really happy that he's my father-in-law. But, back when we were kids he...he was an awful king. Nice, so completely nice. Awesome loving father. But as a kid I daydreamed about being king because I thought I could do a better job than him."
"Yeah I get it. Mom ran the show back then and you got to experience how totally not ready he was to lead."
"That's one of the things I don't get about your parents' relationship. Sure, your mom and dad make each other happy but as queen and king your mom really should have done something to prepare him for being in charge once in a while."
"Well, my grandma never stayed married so I think it was programmed into my mom that everything had to run through the queen. Really it was like that through all of Mewni history. But, you still haven't answered my question. Did you WANT to be king?"
"That's not an easy question to answer."
"Marco, I have two more bags of popcorn after this one. See if you can answer me before I run out."
"At fourteen, after seeing the mess your dad made before Ludo took over the kingdom, yes. Did I tell you about the throne battles? Anyway, at fourteen yes. But then at fifteen it gets more complex. Once you were with Tom and I accepted that I was in love with you, I'd have daydreams where you and I were married and we ruled together."
"Aww, you never told me about that. That's so sweet!"
"Yeah well, I also never told you about the other daydreams I had where you and Tom were queen and king while I was your...well..."
"HA-HA-HA-HA! You wild-man! You were ready to be my extra-special-knight-with-benefits!"
"Hey! It wasn't exactly a happy daydream! It was just something I thought about a few times and I doubt I could have ever gone through with it. Hell, I couldn't even keep kissing you a secret. Back to my point, when you were dating Tom I had daydreams of being king but I didn't WANT to be king. I just wanted to be with you."
Star reached over and grabbed her husband's hand before bringing it up to her face. While she rubbed his palm against her cheek she smiled. "The fact that you would have sucked it up and been my king just so you could be with me. That is so incredibly sweet."
"Yeah, but..."
"Wait, but what?"
"Then you actually became queen and I saw how miserable you were. That pretty much ruined any pleasant daydreams I ever had of being king. I wanted to support you but I wanted nothing to do with anything king related at that point."
"So you wanted to be king because of me but you also didn't want to be king because that would mean I was queen and being queen would have made me miserable?"
"Pretty much. I came to realize that you being happy was the only thing that really mattered and I had a hard time imagining how you could be happy after seeing all the pressure that was put on you. Anyway, now that Meteora is locked in as the next queen we have nothing to worry about."
"But if I never gave the wand to Eclipsa, would you still have been my king if I asked you too? Even if I was miserable?"
"Of course I would have. I love you, miserable or not." To reinforce his point Marco leaned over just far enough where he could give her a kiss on the cheek but not far enough where he risked falling over in his beach chair and crushing her.
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Satisfied, Star turned back to eating popcorn and watching their daughter build a tower that vaguely resembled a half-eaten loaf of bread. For several minutes Star buried her toes in the soft sand and studied the grains rolling off her feet as she slowly raised them to the surface. Noticing that her husband wasn't quite asleep, she decided that there was just one more question she had to follow-up with.
"Hey, sleepyhead."
"Mmm-yeah?"
"Sooooo...what kind of king would you have been?"
"I knew you were going to ask me something else."
His response was met by a handful of popcorn that bounced off his forehead and nose. "Come on, I'm waiting?"
"I was thinking maniacal tyrant. Maybe have a few mistresses. Weekly executions. You know, usual king stuff."
"Did you really have to plant those thoughts in my head?"
"What did you want me to say? You know I'd be the same person I am now. Hell, I'd likely still be executing the same plan to bring Mewni out of the dark ages like we're doing. I know one thing, unlike the old kings of Mewni we'd be making all of the big decisions together. I bet we'd even still have our little castle architect here and that same pumpkin on the way. Seriously, what do you think would be different about us other than we would be used to the castle chefs asking us how we want our corn cooked?"
"I've started having daydreams during those two-hour long government status meetings we have twice a week. They usually last from the Water Department update to the Human Resources update because if I don't have something interesting to think about I'll just fall asleep. Anyway, in my daydreams you're my king and we have pumpkin but I still have magic and the Cleave never happened. Instead of boring meetings we are out fighting in these great battles together. We save people, we bring peace and prosperity to mumans and monsters, we travel between dimensions to protect those in need. You know, we keep doing the stuff we used to do as kids."
"Hey, I fixed the vacuum last week. That was a great battle right?"
Star shook her head while at the same time tossing a single piece of popcorn into her husband's open mouth. "Based on the mess you made in the living room, you're lucky you survived."
"Our life isn't too boring for you is it?"
"No, this is what I want. Normal is totally what I want. I just still daydream about us being queen and king a little sometimes and in those dreams we're out doing exciting things."
"Sounds more like dangerous things. So if our life isn't too boring for you, why do you daydream about all that?"
"I...I don't know. Maybe it's because you'd look all cute with a crown on. Maybe I've been reading too many of these stories that Amanda sends me. Maybe it's because so many people have told us that we would have been awesome rulers. Or...or it could be one other reason."
"What's that?"
"I dream about it because you deserve to be my king. You let me be myself but at the same time you always find a way to make me feel special. Like I'm your personal queen."
"I do?"
"Everyday Sir Dorko. Everyday."
"Well, even if you're not queen of Mewni, you'll always be my queen. And we'll be...be...ah..."
In front of the young parents an angry castle architect walks up with a pail in her hand and a frown on her face. "You talk TOO MUCH! Mama, if you wanna play queen an king with daddy, den you be da queen and daddy you da king AND now...now I be da DRAGON! RRRARRARRAAA! RAARRAARR!"
With that the two-year-old fire breathing serpent stomps on the sandcastle killing all of its residents with her cuteness. Other than the king and queen, who giggled during the carnage, there are no survivors.
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Part 3 - Battle
Five years later, Star and Marco are twenty-nine, their daughter is seven and their son four. Outside Butterfly Castle a huge crowd of mumans, humans, and monsters are gathering for Meteora's official introduction as princess as well as for her Song Day performance. On one of the castle balconies Star and her daughter wave to the crowds below.
"Mama, there are a lot of people here. Is this really all for Meteora?"
"It's for her but it's also for the kingdom. This is really about giving people a chance to celebrate that one day we'll have a new queen. There is going to be a song, a puppet show, and then fireworks. After the fireworks Aunty Eclipsa is going to talk about how Mewni has been integrating with Earth and then we go inside for a big party. You're dad better be ready, I'm going to make him dance with me all...night...long."
"But this is just because Meteora is getting older?"
"Yup. When a princess who's going to be queen turns fourteen-and-a-half Mewni has a Song Day. I got a Song Day too when I was that age and your dad was there for it. It ended up being super embarrassing."
"But there's not going to be a Song Day when I'm fourteen is there?"
"Sorry squirt. Butterfly princesses only and right now Meteora is the only Butterfly princess. However, if you really want a song we can have some friends write you one. That Ruberiot totally owes me a bunch of favors."
"Hmm. I guess I don't need one. I'd rather have a real sword and a better tablet."
"That we can do before you're fourteen. That we can do."
"Hey mom, why do all those people walking up the hill have fires and floating balloons shaped like people? Looks like they painted all their eyes black too."
"...oh..."
"Mommy, those are really scary balloons."
"...oh-my-corn."
"Mommy?"
"Come on! We need to get back inside the castle and warn them right now! On my back now, we need to run!"
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After two days of unexpected riots sparked by Meteora's Song Day 'celebration' a meeting has been called of the most influential administrative members of the Greater Mewni Territorial Government. Attending are Grand Queen Eclipsa Butterfly, Queen Moon Butterfly, Acting Territorial Governor Princess Penelope Spiderbite, Ambassador Star Butterfly, Chief Advisor Marco Diaz, and Former Ambassador & Advisor Yvgeny Bulgolyubov. Others were also invited but with the rioting not everyone was able to make the trip safely. Normally a remote meeting would have been held but the rioter's had managed to disrupt power throughout the city as well as bring down the government's internal network.
A melancholy Queen Eclipsa watches as a slightly panicked Marco rushes into the room, phone and laptop in hand. Once he is settled she decides to get started. "Sorry everyone. I wish we could be together under better circumstances. If everyone is comfortable I'd like to start the session by reading Meteora's last note to Globgor and myself. This was found on her bed the night of Song Day and I believe that it should get everyone, shall we say, in the right mood.
'Those fuckers can go take their song and shove it up their corn plugged asses. They don't understand who I am and I am never going to escape who I was. Why does it matter anyway? I don't want to be a princess. I don't want to be queen. Fuck them, fuck their corn, and fuck the crown. I'm leaving and you're never going to find me. If you really want a princess make Ms. Perfect do it and tell that fuck-head Marco to go fuck himself just on principle.' Signed Meteora.
As you might have guessed, Globgor is out leading the search. That is why he is not here with us this afternoon. As for Meteora, true to her word we have no clue where she went. Luckily I've been told by my daughter's best-friend that she's extremely angry but safe and otherwise doing fine. I must say, I am impressed by the color of her language but this has put us in a situation I'd rather we not be in. Marco, I know you've been one the phone all day. Assuming you are prepared, could you please share your projections with everyone?"
The chief advisor walks toward the front of the conference room but is interrupted by Penelope before he has a chance to speak. "I know we have important items to cover but has anyone confirmed that those are balloons shaped like people and not actual soulless mewmans? There are a lot of citizens who are concerned that it's the latter."
Marco nodded. "Yes, we are sure. Star and I snuck into the crowds last night to do some investigation and we confirmed this. Also if you check the latest live-stream of the Ponyhead Show you'll see a video of her charging a group of protesters where she pops several balloons with her horn. Not exactly the best optics since it looks like she's attacking a group of floating people but by the end of the clip it's clear the mumans are just high-quality 3D printed rubber balloons that have been filled with helium."
Penelope gives a somber thumbs up and motions for Marco to continue.
"Right, soooo projections. As all of you know, we are thirteen months away from the first big ballot initiative that needs to pass in order to officially put Mewni on the path to statehood. Based on our pollster's projections, if Meteora stays in-line to be queen, even with just the ceremonial role, we lose support from not just the muman voters but also from a good number of humans. These anti-Meteora demonstrations that focus on the Butterfly Castle destruction incident have been very effective at scaring away the voting blocs we need to move forward. In addition, if there is no one to take over the queen role both the muman and monster voting blocs are projected to lose faith in the government and not bother showing up for any future voting. Moon, you have your hand raised?"
"Yes Marco. Sorry, I've been having trouble reading many of the documents you sent over. River for some reason thought bringing a family of bears into our yurt would improve his hunting skills but all they have done is completely ruin my reading glasses and our sofa. Marco, can you please remind me, what happens if the initiatives fail?"
"Yes. Star has been talking to a number of officials in Congress and with the White House. If we leave the path to statehood it's expected that the federal government is going to cut back on funding to the point where the Greater Mewni Territory goes bankrupt before the end of the next fiscal year. They would then seek to dissolve Greater Mewni and absorb it as part of California and New Mexico."
Queen Moon simply nods while he speaks as if she already knows exactly what he was going to say. "And tell us Marco, what happens after that?"
"Well...we've done a number of studies on the absorption option. We expect long-term resistance and violence from several of the Mewni communities if that takes place. This would be followed by the formation of similarly violent monster groups. There is also the possibility of Earth groups joining both sides. In our worst case scenario, this escalates to the point where the federal government is forced to deploy peacekeeping military forces throughout the region."
"I see. Thank you Marco. I'm very proud to have a son-in-law who is as dedicated to the fate of our citizens as you are. Now Marco, what are your projections if Star were to..."
"No mom."
"Star, I'm simply asking the question."
"And I'm answering it, NO!"
"Marco, I know you are very thorough. Can you please share what your projections show if my daughter was in-line to become queen?"
"Mom, please stop pushing this!"
Marco rubs his face as he prepares for the battle that is about to take place. "In an effort to find a solution to both the rioting and to make sure we pass these initiatives, we have looked into that possibility. If Star was in-line we get the monster vote and the human vote. The muman vote would be a tossup but we wouldn't need more than twenty percent to move forward. Also, the risk of violence except from the most extreme mumans becomes very-very low. We also expect that the current rioting would end as soon as the change was announced."
Moon responded with an emotionless nod while slowly turning her head to face her daughter. "I see."
"In addition I've done some research that leads me to believe that if Star were to become honorary queen, not only is she miserable but so is her husband."
"Mom, there has to be another way. We just need to change the rules somehow. Can't we convince the nut-jobs to move to Pie Island? Maybe break a portion of Mewni off for the crazies to live on? Marco, you must have some new idea we can add to the plan to fix this?"
"I do have a recommendation that I believe would produce the best outcome for all parties involved."
"Oh-thank-corn!"
"I believe that...Star Butterfly should be named princess and be in-line to become the next queen."
"MARCO!"
"With the conflict of interest this presents…"
"MARCO STOP THIS!"
"...since I am her husband and this impacts me personally…"
"NO-NO-NO! DON'T YOU DARE!"
"...I offer my resignation and recommend that a new chief advisor review these scenarios and present a fully independent perspective."
"MARCO UBADOR DIAZ, IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU SO HELP ME I'D...ARRGH!"
After a long uncomfortable silence a short cough from Queen Eclipsa gets everyone's attention before she again addresses the room. "Thank you Marco. I don't believe that Moon or I will be accepting your resignation at this time."
Suddenly in the corner of the meeting hall a column of fire appears. As the flames die down the representative from the Underworld, Prince Thomas Lucitor, walks into the room. "Hey everyone, sorry I'm late. You guys didn't start without me did you? I was waiting for the meeting agenda that Marco usually sends before heading over."
His words are met with loud sighs and groans until Star finally speaks. "Tom! Meteora want's out and Marco wants me to be queen. There, you're all caught up! Almost forgot, Sir Dorko is going to need to stay at your place tonight because he's not sleeping at home!"
"Got it. I'll just go take a seat then. Sorry if I interrupted Eclipsa."
The green haired queen simply tapped her fingers on the table in front of her. "...not the first time Tom, not the first time."
"Actually, before I sit...Star, didn't you do the same thing to Eclipsa back-in-the-day?"
The former princess just stared at her long-time friend Tom with a blank expression. "...wha?"
"You know, a young teenager handing over a kingdom without asking first if anyone else was okay with it? It kind of sounds like payback to me."
"No Tom, that was totally different. The Magical High Commission lied to everyone for hundreds of years and I was making everything right!"
"Yes, but you were also a fifteen-year-old who never wanted to be queen and handing it off was the ultimate out. Sounds like Meteora saw an opportunity and repeated what you did."
"Would you just go sit down Tom!" Star folds her arms while throwing daggers with her eyes at everyone in the room. She makes sure to toss the biggest daggers at the half-demon prince as well as at her husband.
When Tom finally reaches his seat Eclipsa again speaks. "Thank you for your input Tom, it's always good to get a different perspective. Alright then. Since everyone is caught up, does anyone other than Star disagree that we should offer her the position of honorary queen to be effective the day that Moon and I retire?"
All eyes scan the room before settling on Star who has both hands raised high in the air. Slowly Eclipsa takes a Snookers bar out of her pocket and begins opening it. "Since we are all in agreement can I have a few minutes alone with Star please?"
"Marco, you are so -done- when we get home!"
With a sigh Star's husband turns to the Grand Queen and addresses her directly. "Eclipsa, would it be okay if I have a few moments alone with Star first?"
The queen gives a simple nod and it takes only a minute before everyone but the former princess and her husband have left. Buff Frog, who is the last to leave, stops to put a sympathetic hand on Star's shoulder before finally heading to the door.
.
"Infuriating! You know how I've always felt about this! Why didn't you talk to me about your ~recommendation~ before now?! This was all a secret part of your freaking-plan the whole time wasn't it?!"
"Star, I really thought we had a chance with the girl. You saw the numbers, before this anti-Meteora campaign it was close but we'd still get to statehood with a two percentage majority. I'm sorry. I...I failed for not seeing this whole soulless balloon riot coming. I don't know who's bankrolling this but they're simply killing us. I've run the polling numbers with Meteora, you, Penelope, Ponyhead, Globgor, Tom, King and Queen Spiderbite, Tom's mom Wrathmelior, no queen, and even a ruler-to-be-named later. If you aren't the high queen none of this works out. We could still keep going as we are but the best we can hope for is that all the pollsters are completely wrong."
"Then what if they are wrong? What if this can still work out?"
"Star, they would need to be REALLY wrong and that hasn't happened since that big mess in the 2016 election."
"Fine. Then-then when were you going to tell me?!"
"I would have told you before the meeting but I've literally been on the phone with pollsters since I got up this morning trying to put this together. I wanted to be one-hundred percent sure before I talked to you."
Star just shook her head in frustration. "Marco, we can't do this to our kids! You know first hand how growing up a noble screwed me up."
"And you still ended up being a wonderful person."
"Marco-Marco-Marco, how can I give everything to the kingdom if all I want to do is give everything to our family? I just want the kids to be normal and have the childhood I never got to have."
"Star, you've made this decision before. Giving the kingdom to Eclipsa, giving up magic. You've ALWAYS done what's best for the kingdom."
"Yeah, and then I gave up everything to be with you!"
"..."
"..."
"Star, say it with me."
"...no."
"Come on, say it. You know what I'm thinking."
Star sighs and rolls her eyes. "With or without magic..."
"...we belong together. We are still going to be together in all this. Keep in mind, I'm not Globgor or River and you are not Eclipsa or your mom. Not only are we going to queen and king our own way, we are going to raise our kids our own way."
"You...you really want this? You remember that time you got knocked out in that club? You made me promise that I would never change for you. You remember that? This is one-hundred percent changing me to be something I don't want to be."
"Star, I want you to be happy and I still DON'T want you to change for me but you've said it yourself, we've always known this could happen. I admit, there are a lot of things I've had us focus on over the years that would help you as queen of Mewni. Studying politics, having us stay involved in Mewni's government even when we've both been offered public sector jobs...I realize that this might make you think you being queen was always part of the plan but it really wasn't. All I ever wanted was for us to make the world a better place. I wanted a better world because I thought it would make you happy and maybe...maybe even help keep you happy."
"Arrgh!"
Marco walks up and parks himself in the seat next to his wife while reaching over to take her hand. "I know you. You always do the right thing. If anything I'm just helping you get to the decision we both know you were going to make."
"You're going to owe me big time for this."
"The whole world is going to owe you for this."
Feeling defeated, Star places her head down on the table in front of her as she closes her eyes. "..."
"Are you mad at me?"
"Totally mad at you. But I know you, you're going to make it really hard to stay mad at you."
With that he wraps his arms around his wife and gives her a kiss on top of her head. "I love you too."
"Yeah-yeah."
"Do I still need to go stay with Tom tonight?"
"...no, I guess not."
"Hey, if the rioting breaks and they don't need our help finding Meteora, can I still go hang out with Tom? He has this all new ultra light 128K VR immersion set that can actually read your surface thoughts while you're playing. Knowing him, I bet that is why he was late for the meeting."
"So you're telling the future queen, who is still mad at you, that she has to get the kids to bed by herself tonight?"
"Yeah. You know maybe I'll see if he's available next weekend instead."
"Good idea future king. Good idea."
.
.
Part 4 - Surrender
Seven years later Star and Marco are thirty-six, their daughter is fourteen, and their son is eleven. After a busy Saturday the Butterfly-Diaz family has finished their first dinner as residents of Butterfly Castle. After the sun has set an excited ninja princess is hiding in a large closet while recording his adventures in a sticker covered notebook.
'Dear Diary,
Moving day! Today we moved into Butterfly Castle and it is AwEsOmE!
Mom gave me this book to record our moving adventure. I heard her tell dad that this should keep me out of my sister's hair but I'm not sure if it's going to work, my big-sis has a LOT of hair.
Best Stuff Today :)
~ Castle DAH!
~ We are right in the middle of Echo Creek! There is so much stuff to see and the candy store is so close I can walk there any time I want!
~ While waiting for the moving trucks mom and dad brought us to a playground. There I saw my sister talking with this boy while she was reading a book. I'm SO going to bug her about it.
Worst Stuff Today :(
~ Saying goodbye to all my friends. Mom and dad said I'll still get to see them, just not as often.
~ Big-sis is going to the Underworld as an exchange student once summer is over. Who am I going to ninja on when she's gone? If it is an exchange, shouldn't we get a demon back who I can spy on?
~ Even though mom is going to be queen she won't let me call myself a real princess until I'm 14 and a half. SO LAME!
Stuff I Learned Today :|
~ Dad gets a special room in the castle with a big safe in it. He said to mom that he is going to keep his scissor collection there. It's weird because I never see him cut paper but he has SOO MANY FANCY OLD SCISSORS!
~ Other than at the playground Mom was weird-sad all day. Dad spent a LOT of hug-time with her. I snuck in and heard mom say she was going to get all huge again and she was worried that she was too old to push out another pumpkin but dad said that she is really strong and everything is going to be fine. What's the big deal with pumpkins? Parents are weird.
~ Soon all the grandma queens retire and mom takes over. Dad said there is going to be a big vote next year and it's the final one before Mewni becomes a state. I have NO idea what that means but dad said it is a HUGE deal.
~ Some guy who used to work for my mom named Man-head wrote a tell-all-book about mom's family. Mom and dad said I'm not supposed to read it but one of the guys in the castle gift shop gave me a copy. I'm not sure what I am going to do with it yet. I kind of want to read it but I also don't want mom or dad to get all mad at me. Would it be wrong if I just open it up and look at the pictures? Does that count as reading?'
.
Still laying on the closet floor he begins drawing little doodles in the areas of the pages that are empty and takes extra care to make sure each creature he creates has large expressive eyes and a silly smile. Sadly his quiet time is interrupted when his sister opens the door. She's carrying an old fish tank that's sealed on top with wire mesh. To make matters worse, she almost steps on him.
"What the corn are you doing in here! This is MY ROOM and MY CLOSET! OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT!"
"Oh...what's that?"
"DO I NEED TO TOSS YOU OUT?"
While closing his book and gathering his multicolored markers, the eleven year old writer gazed through the container's glass walls searching for what might be hidden inside. "When did you get a pet spider?"
"SHHH! You did not see him!"
"Do mom and dad know you have him? I bet mom and dad don't know."
"No and you are not allowed to tell them!"
"Did you stick a top hat on his head? Why does he look so sad? What does he eat? Where did you get him from? Why are you putting him in your closet? Why does he wear two white gloves?"
"Do you have any more questions that I'm not going to answer?"
"Yeah, why don't you want mom and dad to know about him?"
"H-he's part of an experiment. Ah...I want to see if spiders can become magical creatures if you put little hats on them. Yeah."
"Really?"
"Yup. It's not like I found him here in the castle following me around the last few times we visited or anything. Nope. Just a random spider and I'm going to let him go once my experiment is done. Now, no more questions! OUT-OUT-OUT!"
"Bye Mr. Spiderrrr! I think you're really cute!" Diary in hand the eleven year old runs out of the room making sure to slam his sister's door shut on the way out.
"He is such a pain. I so should have set a trap for him instead! Sorry Mr. Spider. I just need to figure out what you are and then I'll let you go. A few DNA samples, a view under the microscope. Hmm...I wonder if you're too small to use one of those new mobile MRI machines on? Anyway, for now you're going to live here and in the morning I'll try to find you some flying bugs to see which ones you like to eat. You're lucky my brother didn't catch you, I bet he'd try to feed you pancakes."
The small fish tank is placed in the farthest corner of the closet followed up by several other containers. All of these are strategically placed to keep Mr. Spider hidden from anyone else who might accidently wander inside.
.
.
Elsewhere in the castle, Star is laying in bed with her tablet while Marco is sorting through boxes marked 'Starco Bedroom' and 'Starco Bath'.
"You hear that Star? The kids are fighting again."
"Whatever. New house, old problems."
"You still sound upset. Need another hug?"
"No Marco. No more hugging right now, I'm fine. Totally-totally fine. I'm just going to lay here and read the news and-and be...fine."
"You're awful at being fine. Maybe telling a few people our special news will cheer you up?"
"I don't want to tell anyone until I start showing. I'm really not feeling it right now."
"But I thought you liked being pregnant."
"Marco, it's been like ten years since I've had a baby in my Bounce Lounge. You can't just assume things are the same. Also it's weird letting people know. Basically we're telling everyone to be happy for us because we had some adult-time together. 'Hey mom and dad, remember when I told you I wasn't going to have any more kids? Well, Marco always said if we got-busy a thousand times something unexpected might happen soooo surprise!'"
"Would it help if we had Janna tell everyone for us? Maybe during the coronation right when they are about to place the crown on your head."
"Oh-my-corn, she would totally do that. No, she's the last person we tell. I'm still mad at her for when she tricked Ruberiot into announcing I was pregnant at the wedding. I love her but I'm NEVER going to forgive her for that one."
.
Thinking that his wife might need some alone time Marco continued unpacking boxes in silence. Eventually he walked back over to bed with something important on his mind.
"Star."
"Seriously, what now?"
"Sooo...after this kidlet is born, what are your thoughts on snip-snip for me?"
"Ah...snip-snip?"
Marco pointed toward his crotch. "Snip-snip."
"NO-NO-NO! We are NOT messing with perfection! With my luck they'd cut the wrong tube and I'd be stuck forever with a half-staff husband!"
"I don't think that's how it works but I'm also good with NOT getting it done. We do know a few dads who have gone through the procedure and everything worked out as expected. I just wanted you to know it's an option."
"No, you are not getting it done. Future queen's orders."
"Yes, your highness." Knowing better than to press the issue, Marco moved on to the business at hand. "Your highness, are you ready now to start helping me empty some of these boxes?"
"Not if you're going to keep calling me, 'your highness'."
"Please?"
"I'm busy reading about this potato they found in Oregon that looks like a brown Glossaryck. All these weirdos are saying that it's a sign that magic is coming back. Here, take a look. It's on display at some place called the Mystery Hack."
After moving a few boxes off of the bed Marco lays down next to his wife to get a better look at the tuber. "Weird, it really does look like him. Might be a good time to buy stock in a pudding company."
"Marco, do we really need to unpack tonight? Don't we have the rest of our lives to unpack?"
"Technically yes. However, I will go crazy if I have to live out of boxes for more than a week. See that pile marked 'Secrets Closet', we haven't opened most of those since the last time we moved. Maybe instead of unpacking we can go through some of that old stuff and just get rid of anything we're never going to need?"
"Aren't our old 40K miniatures mixed in with those boxes? Anyway, there is no way I'm going through any of that stuff right now. Just...don't even go there. All I want to do is lie here until my stomach stops doing this baby-sickness-flippy-flop. I really was planning on helping you but since dinner I've been feeling like I'm on the edge of puking."
"Sorry. Hug?"
"We've already hugged a thousand times today! I'm good!"
"Wow, you really don't feel well."
"..."
"This isn't just about the baby, there's more going on with you isn't there?"
"..."
"Star?"
"MARCO, I'M FREAKIN MOVING BACK INTO THE CASTLE! I'M GOING TO BE THE FREKEN QUEEN IN A FEW WEEKS! OF COURSE THERE'S MORE GOING ON!"
"Oh...sorry."
"Yeah-yeah."
Star turns her back toward him while continuing to browse her newsfeed. Giving up for now, Marco gets up to check on the kids. Afterward he returns to the room and begins to get ready for bed.
.
After fifteen minutes spent searching for the box Star packed his toothbrush in, Marco turns off the light and lays down next to his wife. The tablet is now off and with it dark in their room the glow of the night sky flows in through the double windows that are built into the wall across from their queen sized bed.
"I hate seeing you like this."
"It's all your fault you know. If you weren't going to be here to support me I never would have agreed to any of this."
"Hey, don't you remember...you get to be queen the Star way, you don't have to be like your mother."
"Marco, that worked when I was fourteen. I'm a tinsy bit older now."
"Then what are you thinking about? Are you mad at me?"
"The plan, college, helping me as ambassador, supporting me all these years. I still wonder if you did it all because you knew this was coming. No matter how I tried to hand it off, tried to deny it, tried to distract myself from it, tried to treat it like it was a cute little daydream that would never actually happen, you knew I couldn't escape it. You even went out of your way to change the definition of queen just to make it as stress-free as possible for me. You did all of it because you knew that one day I'd end up here."
"You really think I planned all this?"
"Well...I don't know. Listen, with queen being ceremonial I know I'm just being a big baby. I know, I totally know I shouldn't be this upset. It's not like I'm going to have the power to ruin anyone's life like the old queens did. I'm not going to have the actual weight of the world on my shoulders. But...but I still don't want it."
"Star, I want you to be completely honest with me. Why don't you want to be queen?"
"I-I just don't want to be treated special because...because I'm not. I'm just a normal person and I want to be treated like I'm everyone's equal. I have a family that I love and friends that I care about. Those are the only things that are really special about me. Not some crown that I have to wear. Not who my mother was. Not that I used to have magic. None of that stuff matters. That is why I loved Earth so much as a kid, it gave me a chance to be treated like I was normal."
"I admit, everyone is going to treat you like you're special and I don't know what we can do about it. But...you don't think that I'm going to treat you any differently do you?"
"Of course not. I like how you treat me and I know that's not going to change. I'm just a person but you make me feel special for being who I am. I'll be your queen. I just don't want to be queen to the rest of the world."
"Sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would make this all better for you."
"But there isn't. The world gave me a choice, let people I care about get hurt or be someone I don't want to be. Sometimes the world just wins. For a change, instead of trying to fix everything just...just let it be."
"You...you sure? There isn't anything I can do to help?"
"Let...it...be."
"...hmm."
"Marco, stop thinking of a way out of this. There isn't one."
"What about..."
"No!"
"..."
"..."
"They're finally going to make an official Star doll and they're reconsidering that Star and Trudina animated show idea."
"Marco, all that does is remind me that the Princess Trudina and MonStar dolls are now old enough to be retro. Please-please stop."
"I-I still want to say one more thing but it's not at all about this, promise."
Star let out a sigh as she rolled her eyes. "...fine!"
With the back of his hand he reaches over and starts to stroke the cheek facing him in the same spot where her magical heart had once been. "Moving back into this castle, it reminds me of back when I chased you to Mewni."
"Are you wishing that you left me with Tom now?"
"Would you please stop. No, I was thinking of how cute you were as a teenager."
"Yeah, well...you were pretty cute too."
"Remember when we'd sneak into the abandoned castle after the Cleave and practice for our silly little belt tests?"
"How could I forget? I still remember the first time I let you play with my wings. You were like a kid in a candy shop."
"Kid in a candy shop? No, that was you when I finally got my abs the way you wanted them."
For the first time that evening Star started to smile. "At least I don't drool on them anymore. So you still think about us when we were kids? That's really sweet."
"Yeah well, now that we have a teenage daughter I can't look at old pictures of you the same way. When I remember how pretty you were back when we started dating I start thinking about how we now have a little girl that age. The whole situation just makes me feel like I've turned into some sort of dirty old man."
"Ha-ha-ha! I-I guess maybe you are now! Maybe you are. Hmm...soon to be a dirty old king. At least you'll be my dirty old king. Hey, you don't prefer the teenage me over the current me do you?"
"No-no, not at all. You've developed quite nicely." His words are followed by a wide smile and his arms wrapping around her.
"Wow, you really are a dirty old man tonight!"
"Speaking of teenagers, do you want to give me that wing test again? I bet I can do way better than I did back when we were kids."
"No hun, I like you holding me but my stomach is still turning upside-down. Thank you for putting up with this bad mood I've been in all day but just...just be here for me. That's all I want right now."
"I can do that."
"..."
"..."
"You still love me, even when I'm being all miserable?"
"Yup, this is all just another part of that forever we used to talk about."
"Forever-forever?"
"Forever-forever."
"Good. I know I've been pushing you away tonight but I really-really needed to hear you say that."
After shifting to get as close together as possible the couple share a goodnight kiss. The soon to be queen and king then turn their attention to the crazy Earthni night sky that lies just outside their window. His eyes wander between the brightest stars while she admires two of the moons who's lit areas are shaped like crescents. Eventually the efforts of the long day catch up to them and they both begin dreaming.
.
.
This was almost four stories but I rolled them up to see how it would turn out. Hopefully you liked it.
A minor detail, I went back and forth on whether the Diaz garage is attached to the house. From the inside it looks like it isn't (thank you Wraithdagger12 for finding a good image of that) but it's not clear from the outside. On top of that the original show seemed to take some liberties with the layout in several episodes so I don't feel too bad considering it attached. For purposes of this story I'll say that they had some work done since the Cleave to fix the hole in the wall from Star's tower and they made some changes to the garage at the same time.
Sorry to anyone who didn't get all the 40K references in the beginning. If anything, blame u/JARR87 for this. They make a ton of great SVTFOE/40K art and it got me thinking about the first section of this chapter. For everyone who DOES get the references, yes I oversimplified a bunch of the rules to make sure the non-40K people don't hate me. Just remember, orks always win. WAAAAAGH!
Thank you for all the nice comments about the last chapter, I'm really happy with how it came out. As for this chapter, it is dedicated to all the wargamers out there, the significant others who sometimes play with them, the people making great 40K/SVTFOE fanart, and to people who have been together as a couple for a long-long time. - Olin