Herro, every nyan!

I'm alive! And quite happy that that sound is trending.

As many of you probably noticed, I took a break from everything to focus on my mental health and to play the new Zelda game. I still haven't finished it and my Prozac has been increased by 10mg, so I am feeling good about life and feeling bad about the Light Dragon.

I know I've been neglecting my writing, but I've got my priorities. Those Lights of Blessing aren't going to collect themselves.

More importantly:

I GOT A JOB!

I'M A TEACHER!

I'M SO SCARED!

Anyway, I felt bad for making y'all wait so long, so I made this chapter a little longer and a little fluffier than I'd originally planned.

So. There. It's done.

Water buffalo.

Edward hadn't meant to swipe at Mustang. He hadn't meant to swipe at all.

His arm had jerked, the instinct to search still in his body even if it wasn't in the arm itself. Not being able to feel, Ed hadn't realized he had smacked the colonel in the face until he'd heard the man grunt and felt him pull away. He had expected Mustang to drop him, or at least berate him viciously.

When Roy had done neither, a small glimmer of tentative relief and reluctant gratitude sparked inside him. Ed had recoiled from it as if it had burned him. He couldn't risk the chance that the colonel was trying to lull him into a false sense of security.

Edward wasn't the gullible child he'd been before. If Mustang wanted him present, it was because he had a specific plan for what he wanted to happen to Ed.

Edward may not have ended up being worth the hoops the colonel had had to jump through to get him on the unit, but Roy was too resourceful to just let Ed and Al disappear. He would either negotiate for their escape or trade them for a promotion - or, at the very least, a pardon over a demotion for carelessness in recruiting a pair of criminals.

It was a consolation, however small, that the fact that Roy had not let him die meant that he was unlikely to have Ed sent to the gallows. If he had planned on having Ed executed, letting his heart stop on its own was a relatively easy way of going about it.

Tomas had all but glued the chest piece of his stethoscope to Edward's chest, counting his breaths and the beats of his heart while the nurse held the fingers of his other hand to the stopper of the medication line. Sometimes the doctor would ask a question and Tomas would give a mumbled answer, but Edward wasn't paying attention to them. He was too busy being exhausted from his impromptu cardiac arrest and being surprised by how little the idea bothered him.

He supposed that he must simply getting used to his body just suddenly deciding that it had had enough of him and resigning from its post.

The door opened and closed. The doctor said something to whoever had come in. Whoever it was answered softly, probably assuming that Edward was asleep - an assumption they were more correct about with every passing second - and the doctor said something else, his voice less stern than it had been.

Edward sighed and closed his eyes.

His last thought before giving in to sleep was that wherever Alphonse had gotten himself, Ed hoped he had gotten himself to safety.

XXX

"What are you doing here?!"

Roy did not blame the doctor for asking that question or looking at Roy the way that he did. After all, Roy had stopped Fullmetal's heart only a few minutes ago, even if he hadn't meant to.

Mustang had known the doctor would probably react this way, so he had formulated a response - something along the lines of Edward being his subordinate and his needing to be aware of Ed's condition or guarding him or some such.

All of it was true, but there was another truth that Roy couldn't put into words and one that the doctor was able to see, either through Roy's eyes or expression or posture or all three together.

The doctor's stance softened and he nodded reassuringly.

"Don't disturb him. Tomas has almost gotten him asleep and he needs a steady heartbeat to pump all that fluid out of his lungs."

Roy said nothing, making his way to the corner of the room opposite of the bed so that he had a straight view of Edward's uncovered upper body and blanketed legs and the nurse leaning over him.

They all knew when Ed was asleep by the raucous snores he started making. Tomas laughed and pulled the stethoscope away. The doctor tried not to smile, though only half of his face cooperated.

"Well, I'm not going to hear anything through that," Tomas said, unhooking the stethoscope from his ears. "Not that I need to. If he's breathing well enough to imitate a moose in heat, his heart is well enough to keep him out of danger."

"I'll let him get some rest. Call if you need me," the doctor said, no longer trying to hide his smile, and let himself out of the room.

XXX

A nurse came with a message from Riza: Roy's lieutenant was on her way home - in a cab, the nurse emphasized in a way that told him Riza had told her to make that point clear - to care for her dog and to get some sleep. She advised, through the nurse, that Roy also head home for some dinner and some rest.

Roy knew she was right - Hawkeye, though the nurse was also right by proxy - and told himself that he would do just that, just as soon as Alphonse got back.

The sun set, the street lamps were lit, and Roy's stomach growled and Alphonse had not come back.

Roy stared out the window at the hospital's garden, debating whether he should go to the Archives to check on the younger Elric or if he should continue waiting here or if he should go ahead and go home, when Tomas's shift ended and he left Edward's side in exchange for a short but pleasant-looking young woman who arrived with the news that Roy had a phone call waiting for him in the reception hall.

When Roy reached the reception hall and answered the phone, he was surprised and relieved to find Alphonse on the other end.

"I can't find them, Colonel."

"Find who?"

"The person Lieutenant Hawkeye told me to find. A 'disfigured' person. I found a guy named Larry who has a missing finger that he lost in a cannery and a lady that has this medical condition that makes her bald, like, really bald, Colonel, she doesn't have any eyebrows… but that's it. I tried to call the lieutenant but she didn't answer."

Yikes. Riza must be quite drunk to not wake to the sound of her phone ringing.

"Yes, she told me she was very tired and went home to sleep. She's fine." He pitied her in the present for the hangover she would have in the future. "Why don't you come back to the hospital? You could get some dinner for your brother while you're at it. Maybe some rundstucks. You're brother loves those."

The pause was so long that Roy started to wonder if Alphonse had forgotten to hang the receiver on its cradle before leaving.

"Brother likes ravjul, Colonel. He things rundstucks are steaks that have been unnecessarily improved by turning it into a sandwich."

Roy felt his face heat.

"Oh. Yes. I suppose that's true… um…"

"Colonel, do you want me to get a runstuck?"

"No. I mean, you don't have to," Mustang tried to subtly correct himself. "If you would be willing, that would be lovely, but you're not at all obligated -"

"Don't hurt yourself, sir, that's Brother's job. I'll be there in half an hour."

XXX

Roy hadn't meant to fall asleep.

The nurse had gotten up to use the bathroom and Roy, his belly full and his back aching, took her vacated chair to rest his spine. He had closed his eyes, sure, but only for a rest. He had no memory of putting his head on the bed or taking hold of Edward's metal leg.

And yet, this was how he found himself when he woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon and eggs.

The fingers of his right hand and his back loathed him with a passion.

He sat up, groaning, and looked around in confusion - and got stuck halfway up because there was a small but deceptively strong arm wrapped around his neck.

Edward's snoring had petered out into faint rumbling, a sound that was covered up by three voices laughing.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," Roy greeted the mattress since he couldn't raise his head any further.

"Good morning, sir. Would you like some assistance?"

"No, I've got it."

He did not get it. Five minutes later, he was still trapped under Edward's arm and Riza, Alphonse, and the nurse were laughing almost loudly enough to wake him. Alphonse finally took pity on the colonel and encouraged Ed to let him go with a gentle brush of his leather fingers along Ed's elbow. Ed sighed and reached for his brother's metal arm, which Al offered happily.

Roy's bones cracked in a less-than-satisfying way as he sat up fully. His attempts to unruffled his uniform and flatten his hair were interrupted by Riza shoving a bacon-and-egg sandwich into his yawning mouth. He removed it, biting off the bit that had been lodged between his teeth, and nearly spit it back out when he saw the state his lieutenant was in.

Riza's eyes were sunken into he head. Her hair was hastily braided into a loos ponytail and obviously unbrushed. She was nursing a cup of coffee like it was the elixir of life and wincing at every light and sound.

And yet she was smiling and laughing along with the nurse, who was holding her own cup while she leaned against the wall next to the window and spoke animatedly to Riza.

Either Hawkeye had more experience with hangovers than Mustang had thought or she was more talented at covering up her pain than he had thought.

"So then he says, 'Leaf me alone. I'm bushed!'"

Alphonse chuckled, his armor rattling with the sound, and Riza made a soft huff of amusement.

Roy blinked, not able to understand the joke with only the punch line.

"Lieutenant," Roy said, wincing internally at his hoarse with sleep his voice was, "while I hate to interrupt… whatever this is, I can't help but notice that you appear… a bit under the weather."

Riza frowned as if Mustang had insulted her. He probably had.

Her disapproval was nothing compared to the scowl on the nurse's face.

"That's no way to speak to a woman, Colonel Mustang. Miss Riza is quite lovely. She would be quite lovely no matter what state she'd be in."

Roy's eyes widened, not in anger at her lack of respect but at the speed and vehemence with which she had come to Hawkeye's unnecessary defense. Judging by the lieutenant's face, she was just as surprised as he was.

The nurse turned her back on him and beamed at Hawkeye in a familiar way, sort of nervous and delighted. Amusement heated his insides, though it was slightly dampened by pity for the poor smitten nurse. As far as Roy knew, Riza was not a member of any sewing circle, and if his information was correct, the nurse was destined for a broken heart.

Hawkeye, it seemed, still had a sliver of innocence left within her. She returned the nurse's smile with a softer, less vibrant one, her sherry eyes swimming with confusion as the nurse seemed to shiver in response to her friendliness.

Alphonse's helmet squeaked as he turned to stare eyelessly at the colonel, probably hoping that Roy would explain this example of adult strangeness. Roy did his best to ignore him. He wasn't sure he could handle that conversation.

"Thank you for your concern, sir, but with all due respect, I can't help but notice that you spent the night in a chair and are wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

Roy accepted the deserved jab without complaint. He took another bite of the sandwich while the nurse laughed as if Riza had just opened her stand-up act.

"Oh, Lieutenant, you're so funny!"

Riza took a sip of her coffee and cast Roy a perplexed glance. Roy took a third bite of his sandwich and pretended that he had found a particularly interesting spot on the wall.

"Um… thank you, Peggy. I was wondering if we ought to wake Edward and ask him if he'd like any breakfast. I don't know when he last ate. He has to be starving."

Peggy's demeanor immediately shifted from adoring to professional.

"Lethargy and loss of appetite are expected with his condition. If he needs to eat more than he needs to sleep, he'll wake up and we'll feed him. Otherwise, we'll let him rest."

Roy wondered if he should tell Nurse Peggy about the lack of food that Fullmetal had been forced to function on during his time in Vanes Balt. He had taken a breath to do just that when Edward stirred.

"Brother? Are you awake?" Alphonse leaned forward, fighting the urge to tap or nudge his brother. He was rewarded with Ed blinking his eyes open slowly, then sucking in a deep breath as the realization that he was awake made him further aware.

"Al? Whassit?" He started to sit up. A hand on his arm stopped him. He followed the arm the hand was connected to and found himself staring into Mustang's blank face.

Edward came fully awake and froze like he was afraid that Roy might bite him if he moved.

Roy kept his hand where it was, afraid of what Ed might do if he moved.

For an awkward moment, they stared at each other while everyone else in the room stared at them until Riza decided to break this ice that had frosted over the scene.

"Good morning, Edward. Would you like some breakfast?"

Edward's head whipped towards her, a mixture of emotions that Roy couldn't quite discern passing over his face, the one that stuck being a kind of internal pondering as he asked his stomach if it was feeling amenable to digestion.

"I dunno," was his final answer.

Roy had no idea how "I dunno" was supposed to be an answer to a yes or no question, but Riza seemed to have one because she asked Peggy if she would send for some toast.

"Orange juice?" Ed piped up before the nurse could call for an orderly. It seemed his stomach had changed its mind.

"And a glass of orange juice," Hawkeye echoed with a small smile of approval.

Peggy pulled on the call string with enough eagerness to break it, her eyes continually glancing towards the lieutenant, even through speaking with the orderly who answered.

Roy tried to use the distraction as an opportunity to remove his arm. Edward jumped at the loss of contact and watched Mustang's hand like it was a viper poised to strike. Roy made sure to keep his movements slow and stoppable until his hand was on his own knee.

"You look like you're feeling better, Brother," Alphonse said, trying and succeeding at catching his brother's attention. "You just needed some sleep, huh?"

Ed hummed noncommittally, then coughed wetly as the remaining fluid in his lungs bubbled. Those four words and single sound seemed to have consumed his hard won energy because he laid back down and blinked sleepily at the colonel's midsection.

Roy noticed that, despite his relaxed pose, tension radiated off him and his eyes were fixed on a particular point. Roy followed his gaze and saw Hawkeye's gun holstered to his belt. He supposed it looked odd on him. Mustang didn't usually carry a gun - he didn't need to, what with his combustion gloves in his pocket.

The boy's curiosity was natural. It didn't stop Roy from feeling almost comically insecure beneath it. He tried to break Edward's stare by raising a hand to poke the kid in the forehead. Ed shrank from him as if Roy had touched him with a knife rather than his finger.

"Hey, no napping yet, kiddo. You already had sleep for dinner last night. You gotta have something real for breakfast."

Roy internally cringed at how fake the humor in his voice sounded.

The door opened and closed, and then Riza was handing him plate with two slice of buttered toast. Roy stared at it dumbly for a moment, wondering if Hawkeye thought he looked sickly and was trying to fatten him up. Riza rolled her eyes impatiently and then jerked her head at Edward, shoving the plate into Roy's stomach so that he had to take it or risk getting butter on his shirt.

Mustang turned slowly away from his lieutenant, food in both hands, and stared just as dumbly at Edward.

Ed swallowed the spit suddenly pooling in his mouth and stared back like a mastiff awaiting a command.

Alphonse considered grabbing the plate and smashing the toast into his brother's face, if not to get Ed to eat then to at least end this increasingly unbearable stalemate.

He was saved from his own musings by Roy delicately holding the plate over the space between himself and Ed, his stance and expression suggesting he fully expected Edward to take the plate and use it to defend himself against whatever threat he seemed to think Roy posed. Edward seemed to ponder doing just that before lifting a nervous hand and plucking a slice of bread and gingerly nibbling on it, his uncharacteristically round eyes still fixed on the colonel.

They looked like a musophobic schoolteacher watching a mouse chew on a piece of cheese. In any other circumstances, Alphonse might have found the sight funny. As it was, it made him terribly sad for both of them.

Al looked away, hoping to find something to distract himself. He saw Hawkeye watching with a patient smile and remembered.

"Oh! Lieutenant! You asked me to find someone in the Archives."

Hawkeye looked confused for a moment, then also remembered.

Neither of them noticed that Edward had stopped nibbling.

"Oh, yes. And?"

Alphonse shrugged apologetically.

"I looked everywhere and asked everyone I could find. The only people I found were a guy with a missing finger and a woman who had no hair."

As he did with the colonel, Alphonse left out the part where everyone he had asked had looked him up and down with a meta expression. A couple had even been bold enough to suggest that Al look in a mirror. He had laughed with them and told himself that he was used to it, that they didn't mean to be rude, and to make sure that no one, especially Edward, found out. Having the issue pursued, officially or otherwise, would mean dwelling on it and Al would much rather move on and do his best to forget.

Alphonse's body couldn't hurt, but that didn't mean that it couldn't be a source of pain.

Riza's smile widened and she nodded gratefully - a bizarre reaction, Al thought, to receiving the news that he had failed her.

"Very good. Thank you, Alphonse." Even more bizarrely, she looked away from Alphonse and turned her attention to Edward, who was still holding the toast to his mouth without actually eating it. Roy had gone back to finishing his sandwich and had stopped mid-chew to stare at the lieutenant, one eyebrow raised in his signature "What do you think you're doing?" face.

"I sent Alphonse to find the person the second lieutenants told you about. He couldn't find them."

Roy's brow rose higher and Alphonse, who had been hoping to receive clarification, was disappointed as his confusion only increased.

Edward looked like Hawkeye had just shot the monster he'd thought had been under his bed.

"He couldn't find them because they don't exist," Riza continued, her voice smoothing as she studied Edward's reaction. "The second lieutenants told you a story to scare you."

Ed lowered the half-eaten toast. The look on his face reminded Alphonse of the time when Ed had tried to follow along with Granny and Risembool's schoolteacher when they told him that Pelznickel would bring him candies and toys for doing his chores or bringing firewood to the schoolhouse.

Every child wanted to believe that Pelznickel was real, but despite their best efforts, Ed and Al's natural skepticism had never allowed them that luxury.

"I know you might not believe me," Hawkeye said, correctly interpreting his countenance and making it clear she wasn't offended in the least. "That's why I had your brother check the staff in Archives. Alphonse has no reason to lie to you, especially not about this. If you can't believe me, you can believe him instead. Okay?"

Roy's face had gone from perplexed to darkly furious. He had the sense to keep himself turned away from Edward so that the boy wouldn't misunderstand.

Alphonse was frustrated to realize that he was once again terribly sad, even more so than before.

XXX

Edward managed to finish the single piece of toast and was leisurely sipping at the juice, though his eyes were distant and he paid little attention to anything outside his own head, answering any addresses with a silent glance and then staring at the glass at his hands.

Roy's face remained dark and he wisely kept himself turned away from Edward, shoving the last of his sandwich into his mouth as if it had insulted his mother. Once it was gone, he stood from the chair, handing the plate bearing the rejected slice of toast to Alphonse, and accepted the paper cup of now lukewarm coffee from Riza.

He did not bother thanking her.

He jerked his head towards the door before making his way into the hall. Hawkeye followed obediently.

Peggy watched her go, her face pinched with nervous concern.

XXX

"I promised Edward I wouldn't say without his permission."

Roy blinked at her owlishly.

"And if I order you to tell me? I outrank Fullmetal. Any order I give supersedes any order he gave you."

Riza's jaw set so squarely that, for a moment, she reminded Roy of her father.

"Then you will be the person Edward is afraid you are."

The flash of guilt across his angry face hurt to see, but they both knew it was well-deserved. She refused to pity him and he refused to hate her for it.

"Ask him yourself."

Roy had known that the suggestion was coming - it was the logical solution and Riza was nothing but logical - but the idea still turned the bitter coffee sour as he took a drink.

"He… he doesn't trust me."

"He wants to. He had a reason not to and now that reason is gone. He needs - wants - a reason to trust you. You just need to give him one."

Roy raised his cup to finish the last of his coffee, stopped halfway, and then lowered it without bringing it to his mouth.

"I… I don't know how."

I don't know that I deserve his trust.

Riza heard what he said and understood what he meant.

She took the rejected dregs of his coffee and looked him deep in the eye.

"Yes, you do."

A minute later, she seriously reconsidered her words as she threw herself into the room at the sound of a gunshot.

XXX

Edward was staring at the remaining slice of toast like he was trying to figure out whether or not it was poisoned by looking.

Alphonse moved the plate closer.

"Do you want to try eating it? They made it special just for you."

"You don't have to if you don't feel up to it," Peggy said immediately after.

Edward glanced at each of them in turn but said nothing.

He wasn't actually looking at the toast. It was just the least complicated direction to set his gaze as he turned inward, mulling in his own thoughts and berating himself for his inexcusable episode of stupidity.

The second lieutenants had told him that there as a monster under his bed, and like the gullible toddler they had thought him to be, he had believed them. Edward's pride was bruised black and blue, but more than that was his confidence to do what was right by his brother. If it had holes punched through it before, it was ripped to tatters now.

How was he supposed to calculate his way into getting Alphonse's body back if he couldn't even calculate the lack of logistics for the bogeyman?

Alphonse should have run when Ed had told him to, if not to escape the morally bankrupt state researchers, then Edward's own lack of critical thinking skills.

Edward's stare, as well as Alphonse's and Peggy's as well, were broken by the colonel letting himself into the room.

Edward and Alphonse studied Mustang as Mustang studied them.

Peggy did her best to give them privacy and studied the ceiling.

Edward felt the deep, dark hole inside of himself grow deeper and darker when he saw the shame on Mustang's face.

Edward realized that the pit he had thought he had reached the bottom was actually bottomless when he noticed that the lieutenant's gun was still holstered to the colonel's belt.

Roy saw Edward's expression fall at the sight of him, then sink into resignation and he stared at the floor as if he had just been told that his condition was terminal and was coming to terms with his impending death.

He followed the boy's gaze, saw Riza's gun, realized what Ed thought he had come to do, and in a moment of sudden and intense stupidity, Roy pulled the gun out of its holster and moved to offer it to the nurse.

Alphonse, who had been standing guard with the silence of the armor he was, came to life the moment Roy's fingers touched the grip, launching himself across three strides in one and grabbed Mustang's wrist, slamming the man's hand against the wall and sending the the gun clattering to the floor. Without releasing his grip, Alphonse raised one metal boot and stomped it down onto the gun as it slid beneath him.

The gun, which had been broken free of its safety lock upon hitting the floor, went off as Alphonse's foot smashed onto the trigger, a scream ringing out as the nurse ran to Edward, who's face had drained of all color expect three pink spots marking out his cheeks and nose.

Then silence, Alphonse's balance now dependent on his hold on the colonel's wrist, what with his sabaton deformed from the bullet now lodged in the dented underside and the gun trapped beneath.

For a moment, Roy stared into the empty holes in Al's helmet and tried to figure out if the dampness he felt was a nervous sweat or if he'd pissed himself. Then the door flew open, the lieutenant holding the small, flimsier secondary piston in her hand as she surveyed the room for danger with a predatory calm.

She stared at Alphonse, who stared at Mustang, who stared back, trying to decide if she should, if she even could, take down and empty suit of armor.

And then they all turned to stare at Edward as the boy began making strange gasping sounds.

"Brother?!"

Alphonse contorted himself as best he could, keeping his gauntlet on Roy's wrist and his boot on the gun. With Al's metal body out of the way, Roy could see the way Ed was convulsing, his shoulders shaking and his head down like it was too heavy for his neck to hold. Peggy had released the stopper on the medication bottle and loosened the wheel on the oxygen tank and was trying to put on her stethoscope as quickly as she could. Before she could get the chest piece anywhere near him, Edward managed to lift his head and pointed at the colonel with a damnation that had Roy's white face turning a swift pink.

"You… You scream like a girl!"

Riza watched Edward dissolve into breathless cackling, then looked at the nurse quizzically, who was listening to Ed's frantic heart while trying (and failing) not to smile. She caught the lieutenant's eye and stopped trying.

"That wasn't me."

Alphonse swiveled back towards the colonel, who's pinkness had deepened to redness. Al couldn't stop himself from.

"That… that was you?!"

Roy's attempt to look scandalized only made him look guiltier. Unlike the nurse and more like his brother, Alphonse felt no qualms about letting everyone know his opinion on the acoustics of Mustang's voice.

"Now that… that wasn't… that was obviously the lieutenant," Roy stammered, his lips burning as his face turned hot. "I could never… I'm a man! Isn't that right, Lieutenant?"

Hawkeye's face was twitching, the corners of her mouth fighting to go up while she fought to keep them down.

"Yes, sir. You are a man. However, may I remind you that I wasn't in the room until after the… the disturbance."

Roy's face turned the color of a tomato and Edward made a wheezing sound. Peggy was trying to maneuver him so that his heart didn't run out of blood, pulling the pillows from beneath his head and stacking them under his knees.

"Alphonse?" Riza's voice quavered into a giggle and she paused to clear her throat. "May I please have my gun back?"

Roy grunted as Alphonse's weight, considerable despite his hollowness, pressed him further into the wall as Al recalculated his balance so he could lift his damaged boot. Riza quickly crouched and snatched the gun off the floor before the armor's weight could break Mustang's wrist.

Roy noticed the nurse watch the lieutenant's demonstration of her flexibility with rapt attention but didn't dare say anything.

"Um… Alphonse, would you mind…" he stammered instead.

Roy had expected the boy's signature bashfulness and over-politeness. His solemn stoicism was disappointing, but not surprising.

Once his arm was free, Roy shook his hand to restore blood flow. The thought of blood circulation reminded him of why he came into the room in the first place.

Edward's laughter had whittled down to silent giggling, though based on Peggy's expression, it wasn't because his humor had been expended.

"Is he all right?"

The nurse gave him a nervous smile that she clearly did not feel.

"He's… he's managing."

Edward sucked in a gurgling breath, the giggling dissolving into gasps as he realized that what was happening now was not particularly funny.

After a minute, his breathing had evened out, though it still rasped, and Roy wondered if he had either fallen asleep or lost consciousness.

"Full… Fullmetal? Are you…"

Edward's eyes cracked open and he grimaced, a teenager disgruntled about being woken for school.

"You… you scream…"

Roy tried to frown commandingly - or at least pretended to.

"I scream like a manly man. The manliest of men."

"I heard a rabbit make that sound when I was little. I caught it and it screamed. Then it pooped on me."

Roy did not turn around to respond to what Alphonse had said. He did not know how to respond.

Ed huffed, his smile weak but clear.

"Bunny Mustang. Hop hop hop."

Alphonse chuckled, the lieutenant releasing her own amused sigh. Then Ed really did seem to drift off, his face going slack and his eyes sliding closed again.

Roy sighed and shook his head, pretending to be exasperated.

"All right, fine. I'll be a bunny if you eat that second piece of toast when you wake up."

Roy had been counting on Edward to be far too out of it to hear him. To his horror and relief, Ed forced his eyes back open, dragged his left and only arm out from under him, clumsily pulled the toast from the plate and stuck the bread between his teeth.

Then he stared at Roy expectantly, blinking sleepily and tilting his head curiously.

Roy stared back, not knowing what to do.

No, that wasn't true.

He knew exactly what to do.

Roy screwed his eyes, braced his nearly thirty-year-old knees, and jumped as best he could in his uniform boots.

"Hop." Jump. "Hop." Jump. "Hop." Jump.

The silence after his third jump was heavy enough to serve as a lodestone.

With trepidation, Mustang peeled one of his eyes open. The toast was in Edward's hand, a sizable bite-sized piece missing from the crust. Ed swallowed, his gaze fixed on the colonel as if the man was a particularly thrilling show at the pictures.

Then he put the remaining toast back in his mouth and held it there, his eyes rounded with something close to pleading.

Roy met his stare unflinchingly, crossing his arms and trying to look stern.

"Nope. You only get one bunny."

"What about a cat?" Alphonse suggested, wobbling as he tried to stay balanced on his imploded boot.

"No."

"A walrus?" Peggy offered, completely uninvited.

Roy wasn't quite sure what a walrus was.

"A wolf," Riza said, her voice gentle but her expression quite the opposite.

I'm offering you a more dignified way to destroy your dignity. Take it.

Roy looked at Edward's waiting face, sighed, closed his eyes again, took a deep breath and threw his head back.

He opened his eyes to see that another bite of the toast was gone.

"That was the saddest wolf I've ever heard."

Roy glared at his lieutenant. She was trying to look critical but looked more like she was trying not to laugh. Roy knew she was.

"He's miserable. He needs someone with a rifle to come end his suffering."

Riza's hand crawled towards her pistol, then abruptly stopped at the way Mustang's face paled and stopped trying not to laugh.

Roy saw Ed take another bite of toast out of the corner of his eye.

"Rooster."

The word was spoken so quietly that Mustang wasn't sure he'd heard it the first time.

"Rooster," Edward said again, a little louder and a little stronger. He was trying to look impish and commanding like he usually did, but the edges were worn with lethargy and that lack of trust that made Roy want to punch his fist through the window.

He hated it enough that he took another deep breath and did not close his eyes.

"That was a pretty good rooster," Alphonse said, genuinely impressed. "Aren't you a city kid?"

Roy shrugged, feeling bizarrely proud of himself. "Y'know there's such a thing as city chickens?"

"Yeah. You."

Edward's eyes widened as everyone turned towards him. Ed shrank back, his arm coming out from underneath him as if moving to cover himself, as useless as that would have been.

Roy felt Riza's eyes on him.

He knew what to do.

Roy put on an exaggerated frown, his expression disappointed while making sure his eyes were the opposite.

"Rooster. I am a rooster, Fullmetal, for as we've established, I am the manliest of men."

He ended the lecture with a conspiratorial smirk.

Edward balked, then slowly, nervously smiled back.

XXX

Edward's energy fully vanished along with the toast.

When Tomas arrived for the start of his shift as Peggy departed at the end of hers, he found his patient deeply asleep with the colonel sitting next to him, the man's arm having been trapped behind the boy's arm having wrapped around his.

Mustang was trying to look annoyed by the situation, but the calm droop of his shoulders gave him away.

"I meant to pull his blanket up and he rolled onto me," Roy said by way of explanation.

Riza's amused gaze told Tomas that Roy wasn't lying, but he wasn't telling the complete truth either.

Alphonse silently turned the page of his book from his place on the floor, pretending not to be listening.

"Look's like he's doing better," Tomas said, speaking to the room but looking at the lieutenant.

"Yes," Riza agreed, speaking of Edward but looking at Roy. "He is."

I've decided to post the early draft of OG story on here to motivate myself to work on it regularly. I've fallen so behind on it that I'm going to be prioritizing it and Fester for the foreseeable future, especially since I want to get Fester out of the way because it's taking up all my writing space in my head and I have something big planned for October.

I'm not going to say anything now because I want to keep it a surprise and I'm still finalizing the details, but it's probably going to be one of the biggest things I've ever done.

So. There.

Water buffalo.