A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold.

It's crazy (that someone could change me)

Helga felt guilty at the look on her boyfriend's face in the cafeteria. The sixth grader sighed moving her head into her hands in sadness.

She wasn't sure why she couldn't tell Arnold.

Just like she couldn't tell Phoebe why. And she told Phoebe almost everything. While it was clear to most people that the two girls were friends, most didn't know how deep their friendship ran.

Just like most didn't realize how deep Helga's feelings ran. Her feelings of self-hate ran so deep it was hard for the small girl to come to terms with just how much it hurt her that her parents didn't (seem to) love her.

As much as she tried to pretend Bob and Miriam were just hopeless, lousy parents it still didn't hurt any less that they could barely show her any affection.

Miriam hadn't packed her an actual lunch in years.

Bob hadn't consistently remembered her name in what felt like an eternity. She'd be forever known as Olga and forever a small speckle of nothing that her parents could barely remember. They already beat her to that punch line far too many times.

She had to bite her tongue when she recalled Miles and Stella meeting her parents despite her absolute reluctance.

The last thing she wanted was for her (hopefully) future in-laws to know about her was her sorry excuse for a family. Miriam was tired and slurring her words and Bob was screaming at her. Nothing new.

To make matters worse, he refused to call her Helga and screamed about unwanted guests. Stella and Miles took it in stride but it didn't lessen her embarrassment in the slightest.

She'd never forgive Bob for embarrassing her in front of the Shortmans. Part of her felt like she deserved it. Deserved every mean word she yelled, every terrible thing she did, and most importantly, every nasty word she uttered to Arnold knowing full well she didn't mean it.

Even though Arnold forgave her for everything, she didn't forgive herself. She couldn't forgive herself.

And maybe sometimes she refused to eat because she didn't feel like she deserved it. And in those times she cried herself to sleep, and no one was none the wiser.

But now, she had Arnold—the biggest ray of sunshine in her life. Her reason for everything. He loved her. Actually loved her!

And yet she couldn't even bask in the glow without these freaking thoughts! How could Arnold even love her when she acted like this was beyond her.

She wasn't brave and she wasn't smart. A smart, brave, and kind girl wouldn't starve herself because she could barely look in the mirror.

A smart, brave, and loving girl wouldn't cry herself to sleep because her family didn't love her. That no one loved her.

Helga bit back a sob as she listened to the familiar raspy breathing. She punched Brainy and walked to her locker focusing on opening it. It was all she could do to keep from crying.

Her stomach was growling.

Arnold felt terrible. He wanted to help his girlfriend but he didn't know how to. He barely knew what to do when Phoebe came to him practically in tears of worry, begging him to help her.

He couldn't help Helga if she didn't want help. But that didn't mean he wouldn't try.

Helga was complex, amazing, sweet, and so kind—even if she didn't believe it. He could see deep down how good of a person she was no matter what insults she spit out.

Maybe he would talk to his Grandpa. He always had interesting advice. He could talk to Gerald but his best friend, no matter how great, wouldn't understand.

Arnold barely did.

His girlfriend refused to eat. Just stopped eating. And Helga was known for having a large appetite. She was always up for a shake or a bowl of ice cream so for her to suddenly not want anything was weird to Arnold.

At first, it seemed the girl simply wasn't hungry but it was clear on day 4, something was wrong.

Could it be something at home? Arnold knew Bob Pataki wasn't the easiest of people to be around but could he have done something? He knew about his girlfriend's family and the lengths they didn't go to show how much they cared about her. Although there were times Bob and Miriam Pataki showed concern and care for Helga, those times were admittedly few and far between.

Arnold looked down at his lunch and got up to throw it out.

He wasn't hungry either.