Megas WBM (War Battle Machine)
Disclaimer: I don't own Megas XLR franchise; it belongs to Cartoon Network and its creators. I do own the things I created; enough said.
Chapter 5: Damm You DMV!
Saturday August 14, 2004; 10:30 am
It was another day at the Ironsvile, ever since the events of the junk planet, Perseus had gotten a slightly bit paranoid mainly due to the fact that an alien junk owner tried to rip apart his mech or robot. It was now August 14; over a month after the whole Ender fiasco and right now Perseus was now at his hometown's DMV.
"Man, I seriously don't like visiting the DMV, but I only do it so I can keep my car and now my mech," Perseus said to himself mentally. Coop was of course with him along with Kiva, Jamie, and Alex.
Unknown to anyone, an alien ship was making its way to Earth and inside an unknown alien was gearing up for a mission. The mission was to capture Kiva and if possible eliminate anyone getting in its way.
Back on Earth, the foursome was now on their way to Jersey and Alex decided to ask Perseus if he was okay. He replied that he was fine and not to worry about him. A few hours later found the two Megas teams at Coop's house with Coop fixing a dent on his car.
"Man, what is with people? Getting smashed and beaten by an alien is one thing, but getting dings in a parking lot, that isn't right..." Coop said.
"Why don't you just smash them?" Jamie asked.
"Nah, too easy..." Coop said as he finished fixing the dent using a plunger.
Perseus who was reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin looked at the two from his car and replied, "Not unless you want a process server showing up at your door serving you papers to summon you to court."
In another part of New Jersey, a little league game was going on when a portal opened up and out step the alien while a boy who was sliding to a base slide in and the portal closed.
Upon seeing the alien, naturally people panicked and ran for their lives except for one kid who just muttered cool.
Meanwhile, the two mechs were making their way to the Iowa-class battleship USS New Jersey (BB-62) because Perseus didn't get to see it when he was on his way to New York City, but first they were going to get snacks beforehand.
"Tell me again why we're visiting this primitive ship?" Kiva asked curiously.
"Cause it'll be fun and by the way, you never saw a battleship like this one in real life?" Perseus replied.
"No, only in history books and the ship like any other preserved ship like this one was mostly likely destroyed by the Glorft before I was born." Kiva said.
Unknown to the two groups, the alien bounty hunter was getting closer to finding the two mechs with the help of a high-tech locater in its helmet. After several minutes, the alien found the two mechs walking between the two buildings and knew both were slightly different looking because of the customization of their respective owners in the photo it had viewed earlier.
Taking aim with a gun, the alien fired two shots one at each mech to get their attentions and it worked as both mechs turned around.
"All right, who was the jackass who fired his gun at us?" Alex asked.
Putting the gun away, the alien took its helmet off to show it was female alien in some sort of body armor suit that looked at the two mechs carefully.
"Reminds me of Predator for some reason," Thought Perseus upon seeing the female alien.
"Which one of you humans is Kiva?" The female alien asked.
Perseus was confused and spoke, "Um, who?"
"Now then, whoever is Kiva come quietly so I can collect the bounty or there will be consequences…" The female alien spoke in a dark tone.
"Look ma'am I don't know who you are, but none of us are going anywhere, but the USS New Jersey!" Coop said.
"Yeah, you'd need a giant robot or something." Jamie said calmly.
No sooner than that being said, the female alien bounty hunter pressed a button on her gauntlet and a green-black portal appeared and summoned a giant rhino-like alien. It also freed the youth baseball that had slid in earlier.
The alien then hopped on the back of the creature and prepared to face off against the two Megas mechs as the other two were still being fixed up in secret.
"Must be using a mind-control device or something," Perseus thought carefully.
The alien then attacked which Coop caught the alien's upper arms while Perseus jumped over and tried to tackle the giant, but it threw Coop at Persus, which he got out of the way in time.
The two Megas mechs then tired to attack again, but this time Coop jumped over the alien and punched the alien giant while Perseus used a stun attack using the knuckle guns in his mech.
It worked as the giant alien fell backwards and was caught by Perseus who then gently put the creature down in a vacant parking lot. The female alien bounty hunter however, had leapt off before Persus had fired his gun.
"Well then, shall we move on?" Coop asked.
"How about we check the giant before it wakes up and wants us to eat?" Perseus said.
With Coop not responding and Perseus rolling his eyes, the two mechs left. Unknown to the two pilots, the alien bounty hunter was nowhere to be found.
Several minutes later at a local mini-mart, the gang had just gotten the snacks and was heading to their mechs to be on their way to the battleship USS New Jersey.
It was then that the group noticed that both Coop and Perseus' mechs were gone and when Perseus saw this, he swore his head off and for a very good reason while Coop was trying to look for his mech.
"What is it?" Kiva asked.
"I got towed? What the f-!?" Perseus shouted.
"Speak for yourself, my robot is gone too!" Coop said.
Alex saw why and spoke up, "Dude, I know why both robots are gone, they've been towed."
He then gestured to a sign near where Megas and the Megas WBM were parked next to minutes ago that strictly prohibited parking in the spot they were just at.
"Impossible, Megas has a built-in security device along with the rebuilt Mecha Megas." Kiva said.
"Um, what security box?" Coop asked nervously.
Alex cocked an eyebrow and spoke annoyed, "Let me guess, you smashed yours like what you did with that time-flux device?"
"Could this day get any worse?" Perseus asked annoyed.
Just then an explosion at the mini-mart along with civilians running for their lives told just that. Out of the smoke from the mini-mart, the alien bounty hunter appeared. Kiva knew that both Coop and Perseus had to get their mechs so she took a fighting stance to prepare to fight the bounty hunter.
The alien bounty continued to fire at the group and didn't care about causing collateral damage though so far, no bystanders were killed including a truck driver that had his truck blown up around him.
"Coop, Perseus, get your mechs while I deal with this bounty hunter!" Kiva said.
"Right, come on Coop, Alex, and Jamie let's peel out!" Perseus shouted as the foursome then left.
Five minutes later, the four males found the two mechs which weren't really hard due to their massive sizes. Coop leading the group walked up to the booth at the impound lot was a lone guy that was reading a magazine.
Upon seeing the group, he put down the magazine and walked up to the window to see who needed their ride back. The guy who was an African American male seemed to know who Coop was for some reason.
"Hey, Cal, pal I need my wheels along with my friend…" Coop said in between breaths.
"Sure thing Coop just have both of you two pay the fine and show each of your licenses and both of you will have your rides again… Cal said calmly.
Both men whipped out their respective driver license and money needed to get their cars freed. Upon seeing the money and licenses, Cal saw two problems and made it known clearly.
"Coop, your license expired, 17 months ago and Perseus, you don't have enough money."
Perseus got surprised and spoke, "I'm surprised you haven't gotten arrested yet."
"Hey Cal, is it okay if both of us pool our money together?" Coop asked.
"Sure, but you can only have one mech or car you want." Cal replied.
Upon looking at each other, both Perseus and Coop decided to free Perseus' car or robot. Coop gave his money to Perseus and just as Cal accepted the money, the duel between Kiva and the Alien bounty hunter was visible to the group present.
"Sorry Coop, rules are rules…" Cal said sadly.
"I hate the DMV, no scratch that, Damm you DMV!" Coop half-shouted under his breath.
Upon seeing one of the two mechs back in action particularly Perseus' mech, the Alien bounty hunter pressed several buttons on her left gauntlet and summoned more four-arm giant aliens to preoccupy his time.
"This is going to be a long day…" Perseus said, as he got ready for battle.
Meanwhile Coop had arrived at the DMV with Jamie with him and was waiting his turn which would be a while considering that his number was 1272.
"I really, really hate the DMV…" Coop said.
Back with Perseus, the day wasn't getting any easier because he was literally outnumbered 7 to 1 and was barely keeping the group of four-arm aliens from winning. Looking over quickly, he saw Kiva still fighting the alien bounty hunter while Alex was trying to keep Perseus from being distracted and keeping him focused.
"How long does it take to get a freaking license renewed?" Alex asked.
"Based on long it's been expired which is an over a year and a half, I say it could be a while." Perseus said while he fought on.
Back at the DMV, Coop's number was finally called and Coop got up with Jamie in tow hoping this problem wouldn't take long only to find another long line.
"Another long line, when will this end?" Jamie grumbled.
Meanwhile not too far away, Kiva and the alien bounty hunter were now on a roof top of a random building staring each other down. The alien bounty hunter pressed something on her left gauntlet and it formed into a staff weapon.
"You're not getting Megas or the Megas Mark 2 off this planet!" Kiva shouted.
"Those two big, clumsy, and bulky toys piloted by civilians? Oh no I'm not after them, I'm after a bigger prize; you." The alien bounty replied coldly.
"Me?" Kiva asked.
As Kiva was starting to see what the bounty hunter was after, Coop found himself taking a written test at the DMV along with Jamie.
"Hey, what's Right of Way?" Coop whispered.
"No talking to others during the test!" A DMV employee shouted.
"Speak for yourself, I've got no time for this, I've got to save this chick and my Michigan friend from an alien bounty babe and her mini army!" Coop said.
Soon a few others in the room tried to say the same thing as Coop so they could get out as well. While Coop was trying to get out of the DMV, Kiva barely avoided being flattened by the giant alien that Perseus had knocked out earlier. She then proceeded to counter attack the bounty hunter to the point where it lost its staff-like weapon, but then the bounty hunter pulled out another one.
The two then proceeded to fight one on one combat which neither one was gaining the upper hand and were almost equally matched. After kicking the alien bounty hunter in the gut, Kiva was allowed some time to take a quick breather.
"Hm, your file makes no mention of your excellent hand-to-hand combat abilities. I'll need to amend that after I've captured you of course." The Alien bounty hunter said as she fought Kiva.
Kiva was surprised and spoke as she fought, "What? What or who could possibly have any interest in me?"
"Heh, heh, you underestimate yourself Kiva Andru, born on September 15th, 3012 AD…" The alien bounty hunter replied.
"So you know a bit about Kiva so what, but doesn't mean I'm goanna let you take her!" Perseus shouted from his mech, which was not too far away struggling against a four-arm alien.
"Heh, Perseus or more specifically Perseus Agenor Burton born on the 31st of October in the year 1982 to a former warrior of this nation's warrior elite and to a certain pretty, noble lady." The alien bounty hunter said mockingly.
This puzzled Perseus as Alex spoke, "You mind telling Perseus, Kiva, and I who the hell is your real name bitch?"
"Fine, since you asked, its Darklos weakling." The alien bounty hunter said.
"You want to know about the future huh…" Kiva said.
"Certain individuals and parties love to know when events happen before they happen…" Darklos replied.
This however troubled Perseus because how could this alien bounty hunter know his name including his date of birth and his parents as well? His chain of thought was interrupted by one of those giant aliens slamming him and Alex into a nearby building.
Seeing Perseus in trouble and managing to dodge the alien bounty hunter Darklos, she contacted the mech, "Perseus, don't let her distract you, keep holding them off until Coop and Jamie return and tell Alex to do the same."
"Roger that Kiva let's hope Coop and Jamie get here cause I can't hold these guys off forever." Perseus replied.
Turning to face Darklos, she then glared at her while taking a defiant stance and spoke once again, "I'll never tell you anything including my allies in this time."
"Why bother, all I have to do is extract the information from your mind." Darklos replied smugly.
After putting Kiva in a holding lock, Darklos spoke to Kiva near her ear, "The process is painless, but I do hope it's incorrect and painful."
After Kiva broke free, she ran intending to get away from the psycho bounty hunter while Darklos found it amusing when her targets ran sometimes and made it known to no one out loud.
"I do find it very great and amusing when they run."
While Kiva and Perseus were trying to keep the alien bounty hunter Darklos busy along with her army, Coop and Jamie found another obstacle in getting Megas back; a road test.
"What? A road test, me? But I got to go save the world and help my friend!" Coop shouted while Jamie stood nearby.
"If I start making exceptions to excuses like yours, this whole place would fall apart…" The DMV employee said who also had given Coop and Jamie the written part of the test.
After the DMV employee said that comment with apathy in mind, Coop found himself and Perseus smashing the DMV before blasting it and blasting it again into oblivion while Jamie smirked at Coop's thought.
"Grrr, I'll give you fall-apart dude." Coop grumbled as he agreed to the road test.
"Hey, at least we're almost done Coop." Jamie said.
"Yeah, but not soon enough Jamie because Perseus is still new to giant robot fighting and as his friend despite being retired US Marines, I got to help him. I'll show this guy that I don't need a test." Coop replied as the duo was lead to the road test part of him getting his license renewed.
Meanwhile, Kiva was trying to run as fast as her legs could carry her to Perseus' mech so she could help while Darklos was in hot pursuit. Things were not easy as the lead giant alien was pursuing her as well while Perseus had only defeated half of its giant comrades.
Pausing to mock Perseus and Alex, Darklos contacted the Michigan duo to make fun of them, "You're both sweating like pathetic weaklings, next it will be tears."
Punching another giant four-arm alien away, Perseus retorted back, "Not quite, not quite yet bitch."
Back with Coop and Jamie, Coop with the DMV employee and Jamie riding with him to comment on his driving which was a bit aggressive due to his current impatient and frustrated state of mind.
"Hey, mind the cones. The cones are not your enemy good sir!" The DMV employee shouted.
"Doesn't mean we won't run them over…" Jamie replied with a smirk.
Making himself smirking as well, Coop proceeded to drive around the cones in an almost stunt driver-like way, much to the annoyance of the DMV employee.
"This is not proper procedure sir!" The DMV employee shouted.
"I told you I don't need no test. Besides, I'm a great driver along with Perseus!" Coop replied as he ran down a wooden adult dummy, but missing the child one.
"Nice!" Jamie said as he admired Coop's handy-work though Perseus would have a fit about it.
While Coop was getting closer to getting his license back or renewed, Kiva kept running away from Darklos who now was controlling the lead four-arm alien towards her through an ally while damaging some buildings in the process.
Thankfully, the alien bounty hunter accidently hit a nearby POP TV light fixture causing it to fall over and give Kiva a bit of time to run under the gigantic alien and the bounty hunter and towards Perseus just as he was being thrown like a huge bolder away from Kiva.
Just then, Darklos ran after her at the same time the lead giant alien which had one of its buddies throw Perseus and Alex smashed a side of a building not far from where Coop, Jamie, and their DMV employee passenger saw it along with Perseus landing roughly two blocks from where they were at which was ironically near the impound lot which thankfully no one was hit by the flying robot.
"What was that all about?" The DMV employee asked.
"See that's what I've been trying to tell you. Hang on Perseus I'm coming for you!" Coop shouted and with that said, he throttled towards the battle.
"Hey! You forgot to signal!" The DMV employee shouted.
Coop just ignored him and spoke, "I'll give you a signal sir."
While Coop was speeding towards Perseus and Alex, Kiva realized that if she got to Perseus and Alex, she risked putting them in further danger and decided to get Darklos away from them by making her go after herself instead.
So instead she did a pole vault move and landed on top of a moving car which Darklos did the same, but similar thing seconds later on another car. Jumping from her car, Darklos attempted to strike Kiva, but her attacks were dodged and blocked and Kiva jumped to a nearby truck losing the alien bounty hunter for a bit of time.
Darklos wasn't going to be defeated quickly so she jumped onto another car, then up towards a nearby building, and then onto the truck Kiva was on where they continued their duel while the truck moved onward and ended up in the very same junk yard run by Goat along with being where Megas was rebuilt along with Perseus getting his mech there as well.
Seeing the commotion going on, Goat muttered out load just one thing, "Now there's something you don't see every day."
While Goat was watching, Darklos continued to fight Kiva to the point where she broke Kiva's staff weapon into two pieces forcing Kiva to duel wield the two broken pieces. The fight in the junk yard, well some of it was being filmed by Goat watching nearby from his lawn chair he sat in most of his time while having a soda near him.
"I've never lost a bounty in my career!" Darklos shouted as she was near Kiva's face.
"Well, there is a first for everything even losing a bounty!" Kiva shouted back as she kicked Darklos.
While the fight was going on, Coop speed around a street corner which caused a rush of air that blew a pair of skirts up on a pair of women though thankfully they stopped their skirts from rising for perverted eyes to see.
"Once again, nice, very nice Coop…" Jamie said as he admired more of Coop's handy work.
Back in Goat's junk yard, Darklos tried to do a jab attack at Kiva which the future red-head dodged, turned around and ran from the alien bounty hunter. Goat of course, continued to film the fight while the duel reached a small plateau in the junk yard.
Kiva threw away the broken staff and reverted to close-quarters combat that knocked Darklos on her ass with her staff weapon being pinned against her throat.
"Hey, Kiva as soon as I'm done with this test I'm coming back with Megas to save you, Perseus, and Alex!" Coop shouted from the car he was driving near Goat's junkyard.
Unfortunately, Darklos took advantage of the distraction to subdue Kiva while thanking her in a mocking way for her friend's "help".
Getting up nearby, Perseus said only one thing in his mind; "Coop, you idiot! You need to get Megas back or were screwed idiot!"
While Perseus and Alex were trying to get Megas Mark 2 or Megas WBM on its feet, Coop continued to drive fast to the displeasure of the DMV employee who made his displeasure known by screaming like a scared little girl.
"Jamie! Stop screaming like a little girl!" Coop shouted as he drove.
"Dude, it's not me! It's that DMV guy!" Jamie retorted back.
"Hey you, DMV guy, stop screaming like Jamie!" Coop shouted to the clearly scared DMV employee.
Just as Coop said that, a truck with an oil trailer came across Coop's path which he slammed the breaks to stop the car which caused the car to go under the truck trailer tearing off the roof which scared everyone except Coop.
Deciding he had enough of Coop's antics, the DMV guy decided to give what Coop needed badly and spoke to him while covering his head.
"All right, enough is enough! By the authority vestited in me and the DMV, I hereby grant you a provisional license."
"Rock on!" Coop shouted and drove the car back to the DMV to get his license.
After getting to the impound lot, Coop, Jamie, and the DMV employee saw Perseus and Alex outside their car on their mech clearly pissed off.
"What the hell took you guys so long!? That bitch of an alien bounty hunter named Darklos has Kiva!" Perseus shouted.
Nodding to the DMV guy, the government worker gave Cal a piece of paper, "Release this man's vehicle."
After getting into respective mechs, Coop, Jamie, Perseus, and Alex flew off to rescue Kiva while the DMV employee just looked on with Cal near him.
"Very weird day…" The DMV employee said.
"Nah, it's about average once you get use to it and besides, if you saw the look on his Michigan friend, he clearly didn't like the long wait for Coop and Jamie." Cal replied before returning to his magazine.
While Cal explained why both Perseus and Alex were unhappy with the wait, Darklos had Kiva captured and was proceeding to the portal with Kiva captive when both Coop and Perseus jumped in front of the portal blocking her path.
"Stand aside or be destroyed…." Darklos said.
"No way dumbass!" Perseus shouted just as Darklos summoned more of the four-arm aliens numbering at least a dozen.
"You had to say that didn't you Perseus…" Jamie said.
Coop then got mad and spoke his signature rant, "Yeah whatever Jamie, this alien-riding chick thinks she can get my ride along with Perseus' ride towed, make Jamie and I go to the DMV, and make me take a road test! I don't need any road test!"
"Uh, none of those things were her fault Coop." Jamie said.
"Well, she's trying to kidnap Kiva and that's not cool at all!" Coop replied.
After loosening up some stiff joints, the two mechs proceeded to attack while trying not to hit Kiva. Coop threw the first strike punching two of the giant aliens while Perseus elbowed punched the other two trying to flank both of them. Another alien tried to tackle Coop, but was kicked in the face by Perseus.
"Nice save!" Coop shouted.
"You can thank me later…" Perseus replied quickly.
Coop then fired a pair of shoulder missiles at Darklos which bounced off the giant alien she was controlling and hit the DMV which by a miracle, no one was killed.
"Now how long is this going to take?"
"Trust me, I don't know…."
While the people at the DMV were going to have to wait a bit longer now thanks to Coop, both he and Perseus jumped forward with Coop and Jamie looking at Darklos while Perseus and Alex covered their backs.
"Giant space monster at three o'clock, four o'clock, six, no nine o'clock oh man!" Jaime shouted.
"Oh grow a pair Jamie, we've got your clocks right here right Coop?" Perseus said.
"Right on Perseus!" Coop shouted.
Both men fired their mechs respective chest cannons knocking a pair of those giant four-arm aliens over and proceeding to beat the ever loving crap out of them. After about nearly a minute of punches and kicks, the giant aliens pinned both robots down with Coop's lying on its back while Perseus' was on its stomach.
"Both of you weaklings were a pair of annoying pests, but it was a worth-while prize for this bounty..." Darklos said as she looked first at Coop, then Perseus, and finally Kiva.
Upon hearing the bounty hunters words, both pilots were driven even further than ever to save Kiva with Perseus firing a sub-zero blaster shot from its right hand which hit the alien's collar which allowed Coop to pull and break it off with relative easy.
Feeling its collar broken, the gray giant four-arm alien pulled the remaining half of the collar and upon looking at it, pressed a button which made the other giant aliens get off the two earth mechs.
Darklos tired to get the alien under her control again which to every earthling's surprised responded, "You know that rather hurts."
It then proceeded to pull of the control platform off its back and onto a nearby building which freed Kiva much to relief of her allies.
After pulling both Coop and Perseus' mechs up, it spoke again which showed it was a male alien, "We have to thank both of you because we've been enslaved by this bounty hunter and these dreadful collars."
"You telling me that thing can talk?" Jamie and Alex said together.
"Those things can talk?" The giant alien asked as well.
Looking around, the giant, male alien spoke once more to both mech teams, "We've seemed to have caused a lot of damage, please accept our apologies."
"Don't sweat it, it happens all the time so no worries." Coop said calmly.
"Yeah, just another day at the office." Perseus said seconds later.
Darklos tried to throw an explosive or perhaps another collar, but was stopped by Kiva who glared at her while saying that attack she did to her was for trying to extract her brain.
"I suppose I best be extraditing her to the proper authorities on my world. She's wanted on several accounts of kidnapping and information trafficking. If both happen to be in the Graton cluster, do stop by…" The giant four-arm alien said while explaining the fate of Darklos and offering an invitation to his homeward.
After opening another portal and collecting the wanted bounty hunter, the four-arm aliens left. Kiva then proceeded to get into Coops mech which then she asked Coop something,.
"Coop could you follow Perseus please? It looks like Perseus is having some troubling thoughts."
Coop nodded and spoke, "Sure thing Kiva, did she talk about me or talk about Perseus in some way?"
"No not you Coop, she was here for me and she did talk about Perseus though." Kiva said.
"Aw man…" Coop said.
Kiva looked surprised and spoke, "Oh fine, she did come looking for you and Perseus because she heard all about you two and your amazing robot piloting skills."
Upon reaching the Megas WBM, which was near a restaurant, Coop smiled and got out and got Perseus' attention, which Alex was trying to do.
"Hey Perseus, want to grab some pizza wrapped around hams and head to the New Jersey battleship? It'll make you feel better."
"Sure thing I guess, but rather get the pizza instead of the ham." Perseus said.
"Rock on!" Coop shouted before a sound got his attention; a car boot Megas-sized.
Coop looked and spoke, "Oh, come on!? I just can't win can't I?" complained Coop.
Perseus snickered and spoke, "Nope, not all the time Coop."
Everyone laughed and after getting the food they were getting, they headed to the USS New Jersey after Coop got the boot off.
A week later found the group in the Graton cluster messing with the now-fallen bounty hunter. Perseus had gotten over what Darklos had said earlier and wouldn't be saying anymore due to his request to have that part of the alien bounty hunters memory wiped.
"Hey loser, missed a spot!" Perseus shouted in a mocking way which everyone including the giant alien laughed at.
Darklos just merely growled at the insult as she picked up more garbage being thrown at her….
A/N: finally after getting my lazy ass up, this long delayed chapter is done. This is going on ice for a bit as I'm focusing on GunVandread and cooking up ideas for the second and third stages.
Yes the third GunVandread stage is going to be a crossover, but done carefully.
R and R to tell me what you think and like I've said before, no flames okay.
Have a good day everyone and God bless.