Megas WBM (War Battle Machine)
Disclaimer: I don't own Megas XLR franchise; it belongs to Cartoon Network and its creators. I do own the things I created; enough said.
Chapter 6: Of Robots and Kings
Saturday August 21st, 2004; 4:30 pm
Far away and many light-years away from Earth was a planet that was ruled by a group of tall, giant mechanical robots led by an emperor.
At the moment, a large gathering was being held in the main throne room of the robotic empire that had a large flame in the center while stain glassed windows decorated the room.
In one part of the room was the emperor that was gray and dark blue in color with a white beard and cloak was looking at his subjects and decided to speak.
"My subjects the great champions of the Halcyon worlds, your quest for the throne of our vast, huge galaxy-spanning empire is nearing its end. All of you that remain are all that is left. Those not worthy have been eliminated, but there is one challenge left that'll decide which one of you will be named emperor."
One robot stepped forward and spoke, "Sire, we have conquered other worlds, decimated entire civilizations, and slain some of the most fearsome creatures in the universe."
"Tell us my liege, what is next? Name it for us and it shall be done..." Another robot said with iron will.
Just as the two robots were about to destroy each other, the emperor spoke up, "Enough, for the one who seeks the throne, one final task remains which is to spread word of my grandeur to every part of the our civilization while carrying our most sacred treasure that is the symbol of our people; the eternal undying flame of Azeroth."
For a few minutes all of the robots present looking at the flame thought that what their emperor wanted was more like a stupid and unfunny joke rather than a great and glorious quest for the throne.
Then suddenly, a bright light appeared above the flame and when the light faded, a pair of unknown robots appeared that none recognized and if things couldn't get more out of place, both robots then fell towards the sacred flame and while one avoided the flame, the other smashed the sacred relic by falling on it.
Both robots looked around while inside both machines, two groups of humans including their pilots were wondering where they were now.
"Nice short cut." Jamie said annoyed.
"Is the right place or another dead end dumbass?" Perseus asked.
"This isn't the greater New Jersey Car Massacre." Coop said.
Kiva glared at Coop and spoke, "Coop, what button did you press?"
Before Coop could answer, he pressed a button on his control panel with Perseus' in his robot grabbing on and before anyone could think, both robots vanished into thin air. All of the robots looked in horror if they had facial expressions that their most sacred and treasured relic was gone and destroyed.
"The sacred flame of Azeroth has burned for thousands of years. Those two unknown machines must face judgment…" The Emperor said with rage and sorrow in his voice.
He then looked at everyone present and spoke a new challenge, "My subjects, I have a new task for those wishing to claim my throne; whoever brings me those two defilers will be crowned Emperor!"
As the robots prepared to hunt down Perseus and Coop along with their friends, in another part of space Coop and Perseus teleported into another random part of the universe.
Perseus looked around and asked, "Where are we now?"
"Well, it isn't Jersey…" Coop said annoyed.
"Were you going to tell me that the trans-spatial drive was still functioning?" Kiva asked.
"Well, I didn't know Megas had one, not to mention Kiva I sort of installed another one onto Perseus' own mech using various salvaged Glorft and other junk I found. Now all of us are going to miss the monster truck finals and the great return of the Carminator…" Coop said.
Jamie smiled and spoke, "Oh, yeah Coop. Carminator rocks the house."
"Guys, Carminator is going to have to wait because-"
Kiva didn't get to finish what she was saying because Coop then pressed a button on his control panel with Perseus in his mech grabbing on at the last the second and before long, the two mechs were teleporting themselves across various locations across the universe from a crystal planet to a planet like in the video game Love those Lurps to even the planet that the group had been to only a week ago.
Eventually the two mechs ended up where they wanted, but before they could enjoy the show, they ended up teleporting back to where they were seconds ago with Coop making his frustrations know clearly by speaking them out loud.
"Aw, man Carminator was about to put on an amazing performance..."
"As I was saying, Carminator will have to wait, you've burned out the drive, so we have to fix it, Coop pull out the trans-wrap interface." Kiva said.
"Okay, where is it then?" Coop asked which Kiva pointed to the far left of the dash.
Coop was a bit surprised and spoke as he handed Kiva the device in question after getting rid of the coins in it, "The change holder?"
"That little thing can take you anywhere?" Jamie asked.
"It will as soon as it is repaired and the copy on Perseus' mech is stabilized." Kiva said.
Upon hearing that, Jamie began to imagine himself using the device for his own personal gain from stealing money to sneaking into a high school cheerleader locker room and even literally stealing candy from a baby.
This got him an unfriendly glare from Perseus from the main view monitor and made it clear to him; you try to use alien tech for evil and you're going to get your ass kicked so hard, your nose will bleed.
"Things just couldn't get any worse right?" Alex said who was silent up until now.
Just as he said that, something hit both mechs that got them to look and see who or what hit them. It appeared to be a robot that was dark blue in color with white-gray joints, had red details, and finally had lime green eyes that had a spike ball-like weapon and a sword in its right hand.
"Who the hell is that?" Alex said.
"Don't resist you two defilers so my next hit won't be a warning." The mysterious robot said.
"Um, who the hell are you?" Perseus asked.
The robot replied ominously, "I am Zanzoar of the Halcyon worlds and you two are coming with me."
"Man even far away from Earth you still manage to tick someone off!" Jamie shouted.
Zanzoar then proceeded to launch the spiked ball weapon at the duo and both managed to get out of the way. Coop attempted to launch the same attack that Zanzoar did, but the alien robot dodged the attack and grabbed the line and pulled Coop towards him at the same time fired his weapon at him.
Perseus on the other hand flew behind Zanzoar and fired a couple of shots making him let go of Coop's mech. Getting some distance, Perseus then fired a couple of modified Tomahawk cruise missiles that were flares that temporarily blinded the enemy robot.
"How's that warp thing coming Kiva?" Coop. asked.
'It's not ready yet!" Kiva shouted.
"Nothing can stop me from ascending to the throne!" Zanzoar said.
This apparently made Coop, Jamie, and Alex laugh like idiots because they thought the throne that Zanzoar was taking about was a bathroom toilet or a comfy couch potato chair.
Before the robot could land another attack on the two mechs, a shot appeared out of nowhere and hit Zanzoar. Another mech appeared this time appearing to being teal, black and gray in color along with red and gold details along with red eyes.
"Following their trans-spatial signature was a clever idea. I appreciate you finding them for me..." The second unknown robot said smugly.
Based on what he was seeing now with that unknown robot calling the two teams defilers, Perseus then looked at Coop with an annoyed look and replied, "What did you do this time Coop that made us get called defilers?"
"Uh, I don't know." Coop said.
It was then the robot Zanzor got into a brawl with the unknown robot called Gaivan while that was going on, Coop and Perseus decided to slip away, but this was seen by the two robots and both went after them.
Unfortunately their duo's relief was short lived as other robots began to arrive in the same area as they were at. It was then the two mechs along with their occupants seemed to notice something; all of the unknown robots were apparently too busy trying to kill each other to notice them.
"And I thought Humanity aside from the Glorft was the most violent species in the universe." Alex said.
Both pilots decided to take advantage of the chaos and managed to deck several robots, which annoyed Kiva greatly as she thought they were putting all of themselves at greater risk.
"Yes, but now would be a very good time to get out of here Perseus and Coop like now." Kiva said.
Normally Perseus wouldn't want to run along with Coop, but this appeared to be an exception for now. This wasn't unnoticed by the robots as they saw them run and went after them no matter the cost.
Both Coop and Perseus flew into a nearby nebula, which according to Kiva would scramble or mess up the targeting systems of the missiles locked on to them. The added benefit would be that the homicidal robots wouldn't be able to track them at all.
"I just hope they aren't' dumb enough to follow us." Alex said quietly.
Unfortunately Alex was wrong as the homicidal robots followed them into the nebula that had the side effect of the radars of both mechs being cut off or reduced to zero.
Meanwhile, Zanzoar was looking for the two mechs and he thought he found them, but turned out to be a pair of robots that weren't like them, but Zanzoar killed them anyway demonstrating his ruthlessness.
Back with the two Megas mech teams, Jamie again suggested that they run which Alex and Kiva agreed to, but Coop didn't like the idea and wanted to fight these robots.
This annoyed Perseus greatly and made it known, "First you wanted to run, now you want to fight? You just had to, had to, had to piss them off didn't you Coop?"
"Hey, how was I supposed to known it would lead to this? You also pissed them off as well idiot." Coop said defensively.
After thinking about it, Perseus reluctantly agreed to the idea to fight the homicidal robots, which would make it easier to return to Earth. It was then both mechs made their move; Coop snuck up to a pair of robots and bashed their heads together knocking them out of the fight while Perseus using the arm guns in stealth mode blasted another pair's heads off.
Another robot had its head ripped off by Coop while another cut sliced in half horizontally by Perseus. To Perseus, it seemed like they were acting something out of a b-grade horror movie, which in the situation, a group of people were plucked off one by one by a monster.
Perseus took out a group of three robots by using a chain-whip sword similar to Ender, but more deadly like a fusion between a chainsaw and a heat rod weapon while Coop bashed another group of three apart with ease using his usual kicks and punches.
After about five minutes of smashing, blasting, and slicing robots in the nebula, both mechs then left hoping they were home free. Unfortunately for the two, Gaivan was waiting for them and tired to hit them, but the two dodge the attempt on them.
"I might consider letting both of you two go after I ascend to the throne, so why don't the two of you come quietly then." Gaivan said.
"Sorry pal, but we aren't going anywhere, but Earth." Coop said.
Upon hearing this, Gaivan fired a pair of missiles that the two dodged, but they didn't know that those weren't normal missiles and it became clear, as the missiles became claws attaching themselves to the backs of the mechs.
The end result was the two mechs shutting down and making them easy pickings. Both Kiva and Alex saw this and knew if they couldn't figure something out fast; they were screwed.
"What did you hit us with chump?" Coop said.
"Null distortion missiles to end this farce." Gaivan said smugly.
Both Perseus and Coop tried to restart their mechs, but had no luck. Just when things couldn't get worse, Zanzoar appeared out of the nebula and knocked Gaivan aside.
"I shall become emperor and no one will stop me, not even you Gaivan." Zanzoar said.
The next thing both Coop, Perseus, Jamie, Alex, and Kiva knew was that they were suddenly upside-down as Zanzoar grabbed both Coop's mech and Perseus' mech and flew away with Coop being held in the right hand and Perseus being held in the left hand of Zanzoar. Gaivan followed behind in hot pursuit determined not to lose both mechs.
"Those two are mine, I captured them first!" Gaivan shouted.
"Fool, the main point of the mission was who ever brought the two defilers back would be crowned Emperor." Zanzoar replied.
"Sheesh talk about a grudge match. This almost reminds me of the time when Carminator went up against Truckzilla..." Coop said despite what was going on.
Perseus shook his head and shouted, "Um, I would less concerned Coop about a pair of car wrecking machines and more on how to get home!"
Using both mechs as shields, Zanzoar retaliated by shooting a blast of energy from his left wrist intending on hitting Gaivan, but ended up hitting another robot instead.
Getting close to him, Gaivan managed to lock fists with Zanzoar and during this act; Zanzoar unintentionally kicked both Coop and Perseus' mechs away from the grudge match.
Inside both mechs, all of the humans including their pilots watched as they were passed from one robot to the next with each on intending on getting both no matter the cost.
Zanzoar on the other hand was able to land a kick against Gaivan, knocked the robot away, flew over to where Coop and Perseus were at, destroyed a pair of robots trying to get the two human-controlled mechs grabbed both and sped away.
"The contest is over, I will be emperor." Zanzoar said.
"And I'm going to be queasy." Jamie moaned from Coop's mech.
After Zanzoar went into super speed to head back to Azeroth with both Coop and Perseus' mechs along with their pilots and passengers, Gaivan and several others followed rapidly behind.
It didn't take very long for the group of robots to return to their home in which both mechs were bound to prevent them from escaping. While bound, both pilots from their mechs saw Zanzoar be crowned Emperor of the Halcyon worlds.
"Great and brave champion Zanzoar of the Halcyon worlds, of all of those who were sent on this final task, it was you alone who brought back the defilers. Therefore, you shall be named Emperor of the Halcyon worlds and the defilers will face the twin Metal Maidens." The Emperor said.
While everyone cheered, Gaivan looked on with seething rage as his rival got the credit for his capture. Inside Coop's mech, Jamie upon hearing the words Metal Maidens thought initially of the hard rock/heavy metal band Metal Maiden which was a female version of the band Iron Maiden.
"Metal Maiden, that doesn't sound too bad." Jamie said.
"Um, I don't think these robots have heard of the band Metal Maiden and I got a very bad feeling that it is something worse Jamie so shut it." Alex said from Perseus' mech.
While Zanzoar was being crowned Emperor using one of the Twin Metal Maiden swords much like how someone would've been knighted in a traditional knighting ceremony, both Coop and Perseus looked to Kiva to see if there was a way they could get the null distortion missiles off of their mechs.
"Hey Kiva, any ideas?"Perseus asked.
"Not much I know of because the codes are uncrackable and even if you and Perseus tired, it could kill us all." Kiva said.
Upon hearing this, Coop pulled out a big nut retch with Perseus grabbing a heavy sledge hammer he used for tasks he and his dad would do like home repair or breaking ice blocks during the winter for his grandparents.
Getting out of their mechs carefully with Kiva muttering to Coop to use a delicate touch along with Perseus, both human pilots then started to whack the null distortion missiles on their mechs while Perseus muttered a line from Armageddon for some reason which after a couple of minutes, both pilots got the annoying devices off their mechs.
"Now that is done, I just want to go home and fall asleep on my bed." Perseus said as he walked back to his mech.
After Coop and Perseus got back to their cockpits/cars of their mechs, Coop and Perseus tired to start their mechs up and both started up with little problems, but they had to move fast as Zanzoar was presented with both Metal Maiden swords to kill the two Megas mech teams.
"As Emperor of the Halcyon worlds, my first order of business will be to destroy the defiler and his accomplice defiler as well for destroying the undying Flame of Azeroth. Prepare for judgment you two defilers for the Metal Maidens shall avenge us." Zanzoar said as he pointed one of the Metal Maidens to the two Megas mech teams.
"Both Metal Maidens are swords? Both Metal Maidens are swords!" Jamie shouted.
Just then Kiva finished repairing Megas' trans-spatial drive which brought Jamie out of his stupor which Jamie then spoke, "Let's get out of here."
"Easier said than done Jamie, Coop you know what to do; hook it up to where you had it before and let's leave." Perseus said.
Unfortunately Coop was so distracted by Perseus and mocking the robots that the device which he had in his right hand raised it up in the air and idiotically threw it downwards pressing the button causing it to vanish in a mainly rush rage.
Seconds later, both mechs were able to free themselves just as Zanzoar tired to slice both of them in half, dodging the attack, and causing the top part of the structure that held them to fall upon a group of the robots.
"You both will pay for your crimes against the sacred flame of Azeroth and my subjects." Emperor Zanzoar said.
Before Coop could say his signature rant which was beaten to the punch by Perseus who finally lost his temper, and spoke out, "Listen you Optimus Prime wanabe or taking water heater. You blow a small thing out of proportion for no reason, gave us an unfair trail, branded me as a defiler even thought it wasn't my fault that your artifact was destroyed by Coop by mistake, made Coop lose his trans-spatial drive, and you made us waste time that we missed a car smashing festival. Also the last thing you said to us aside from the scared flame was your own doing you idiot."
"Aside from the trans-spatial drive, you got everything spot on." Jamie said.
Rolling his eyes from that, both Coop and Perseus launched their offense attack with both mechs grabbing each one of the Metal Maiden swords in order to slice apart Emperor Zanzoar in half both horizontally and vertically with the robot muttering his final words as seconds later, both began to unleash hell on the other robots.
"The Emperor is slain. By destroying you two I shall clam the throne." Gaivan said.
Gaivan tired to hit the two Megas mechs with a pair of missiles, but the duo dodged and while one exploded harmlessly away, the other hit the previous emperor taking out the lower right arm and hand.
"You both will pay for that!" One robot shouted.
"What are you accusing us for? That idiot with wings shot him you stupid robot!" Perseus shouted as he pointed at Gaivan.
Despite that, the robots continued to attack Perseus and Coop forcing the duo to continue to fight the robots of the Halcyon Worlds.
Perseus was using both Metal Maidens in a duel-sword wielding fashion slicing robots left and right despite a few like Gaivan using their fellow comrades as shields while Coop did what he always did by smashing them into bits.
Eventually however, just after Perseus handed Coop the other Metal Maiden sword both were knocked down and both were now lying down on their backs while Gaivan with both Metal Maiden swords in hand approached them intending to kill both pilots and their passengers.
"Slay them Gaivan, clam your place on the throne." The former Emperor of the Halcyon Worlds said.
Gaivan raised both blades and just as he was about to strike both Megas mechs, both Coop and Perseus both pressed a random button out of impulse which Coop's was labeled comically "5 Minutes Until End Of This Fanfiction Chapter" while Perseus' was labeled "Thunderstruck."
The effects were shown immediately as Megas' fists erupted in flames while Megas WBM fists erupted in a bluish glow that emulated thunder and lightning bolts that crackled every few seconds.
"Whoa flames of furry and fists of thunder! Rock on Perseus!" Coop shouted as he did the rock on gesture with Jamie.
"Hey tin scraps, you've been…Thunderstruck Yeah!" Perseus shouted seconds later as he stuck the closest robot near him.
As both Coop and Perseus were counter attacking the homicidal robots in the spirit of Ares, the former Emperor of the Halcyon Worlds noticed the two robots then looked at a pair of murals hanging in the chamber before looking at them again and came to a conclusion.
The two unknowns must be chosen ones in a prophecy for the Halcyon Worlds which ironically he didn't know was that the two robots were actually mechs controlled by a human.
"The Flame of Azeroth has chosen one of them and its loyal war battle guardian, Gaivan wait!" The former Emperor of the Halcyon Worlds shouted.
Gaivan ignored the warning and was about to strike both Megas robots when both mechs got up and launched a counter attack knocking Gaivan away and letting Perseus getting both Metal Maiden swords which would've melted if Coop grabbed them, but for some odd reason both fists on the Megas WBM deactivated and the mech was covered in an electrical aurora.
"Must be something out of Dragon Ball Z." Coop said as he looked at Perseus' mech.
"He has the sacred flame. The flame has chosen the blue one and the twin Metal Maiden swords have chosen their destined wielder." The former Emperor of the Halcyon Worlds said.
What surprised both Megas mech teams was that instead of the brawl continuing, the former Emperor of the Halcyon Worlds walked up to both Megas and Megas WBM and knelt before the two mechs. The others including Gaivan reluctantly followed suit seconds later.
This made Jamie have a fantasy of being a totalitarian ruler and placing Coop and Perseus lower than him with everyone loving him. Kiva and Coop thought it was silly while Perseus on the other hand along with Alex both thought to themselves that it would never happen in their lives.
"Mighty champion and warrior, you have proven yourself worthy. The sacred undying flame of Azeroth has chosen you to bring the light back to our imperial kingdom, I now proclaim you Emperor of the Halcyon Worlds. I also proclaim your comrade the other Emperor and Guardian of the Halcyon Worlds." The former Emperor of the Halcyon Worlds said.
This surprised Kiva, Coop, Alex, and Perseus with the obvious exception to Jamie who thought the crowd loved him even though it wasn't the case. While the robots outside were cheering, Kiva suggested to Coop to put out the flames of furry and for Perseus to shut of the electrical field around his mech which Jamie suggested no because it was cool.
After clearing his throat and Perseus taking a quick breath, Perseus spoke first, "Loyal subjects, since you've proclaimed Coop your Emperor and I as your guardian, I'll see to it that the flame is relight."
"He is right for I shall relight this fire you guys had going earlier." Coop said.
After both spoke, Perseus and Coop directed their mechs towards the restored pit where the flame was earlier and Coop reignited the fire which came out in a fiery form. At once the crowd cheered and at first the flame was controlled, but then it started to spiral out of control.
This freaked out everyone especially the two Megas mech teams who were both trying to figure out a way to extinguish the flames, but for a good reason this time. Perseus was scrambling through his controls to find any fire extinguishing methods that could work because aside from a fire extinguisher he kept in his car, he didn't take firefighting into consideration.
Coop on the other hand was just as confused as Perseus was as he tried to grab a tarp to put the flames out only for it to burn it Megas' hands. As the chaotic mess unfolded before the humans, Jamie spoke out just one thing which he made clear.
"Wow, no wonder they call these flames undying."
"You defiantly got it right Jamie for sure..." Alex said from Perseus' mech.
It was then Coop and Perseus got out of their mechs to ask if they had water or any fire extinguishing methods they knew which what they didn't know it was a mistake to do so saw Gaivan through the smoke saw the two humans standing outside.
"Hey! Do any of guys got water or something?"Coop and Perseus asked together.
After analyzing the two humans as they asked their question, Gaivan spoke to his fellow robots and spoke, "The Emperor and the Guardian are infested with Humanoids which means we must destroy them!"
Seeing that they were in bigger trouble and that they couldn't fight the huge fire, both Coop and Perseus fled the scene leaving the kingdom to burn to the ground. After escaping the planet, both pilots were able to deactivate their newly activated features.
"There, I got it deactivated. Who knew that a small fire could suddenly and unexpectedly rage out of control." Perseus said.
"You got that right Perseus, at least we know where I can activate the flames of furry again along with you activating the electric storm." Coop said.
"Coop, you just left that entire kingdom become a burning ruin and Perseus it wasn't your fault." Kiva said to both pilots.
Coop looked at Kiva and spoke, "Oh don't worry, besides it was just a little fire right?"
Behind the two Megas mechs, the fire got worse and then suddenly the planet exploded destroying all. As the two flew through space, Perseus was figuring out a way to integrate the two sword weapons into his mech while everyone else was just focused on returning home.
"I can't believe I was an Emperor, chicks dig that kind of thing." Jamie said.
"You Jamie not at all and not going to happen in this life, besides who would want to rule a planet that doesn't have decent monster truck entertainment stuff?" Coop asked.
It was then that the trans-warp drive appeared unexpectedly in Coop's car and dropped down onto the car floor falling apart upon impact which made Kiva curse under her breath that she now had not only time flux drive to fix, but the trans-warp drive again.
After seeing Coop, Jamie, Kiva, and Alex to their respective homes, Perseus flew back to his home, hid the two swords or chain-swords as he saw them, and then flew to his house and not bothering to put the mech back in its regular space.
It was 11:51 pm because everyone stopped to have a late dinner before heading their separate ways. Walking up to his room and ignoring anyone who he might have awakened, he opened the door and just collapsed onto his bed which he fell asleep almost immediately. Near his bed was a book called "Of mice and men."
"What a day," thought Perseus.
A/N: Here is another chapter of Megas WBM. I saw the Metal Maiden sword get destroyed in the original series and thought it shouldn't be wasted so there is not one, but two Metal Maiden swords or chainsaw swords. The order these chapters are based on how I got them from ITunes and not the air date because in Fanfiction anything goes.