Disclaim!
Hey Guys! This one's a long one... Hope you enjoy. I have my A/N at the end of the chapter this time.
This chappie is dedicated to Butterfly1221 who hit the nail on the head in her last review about certain plot points in this chapter.
FFT - Bonnie has told Damon a lot about 'Canada.' His ideas of what Canada is like are based on Bonnie's descriptions and Bonnie's been describing the 21st century with an 1864 coat of paint. None of the technology, but all of the social norms.
Bonnie cracked one eye open reluctantly, noticing the pre-dawn light beginning to filter through her tiny shoebox window. She rolled over to her side, taking her rough-spun blanket with her – feeling it tangle between her legs as she attempted to bury her face in her pillow.
After almost four months of constant early mornings, she had grown accustomed to waking at the crack of dawn. Unfortunately, Damon had convinced her to stay out just a little while longer and she would be paying for it today.
Her mind was a groggy mess. If she could just have five more minutes of sleep, she was sure she'd wake up refreshed and ready to go. She just needed five more minutes...
Knock, knock, knock.
And of course, that was not going to be happening.
Groaning, Bonnie pushed herself up until she was half-sitting, half-slumping over her pillow. Doing a mini stretch and yawn before getting to her feet, she shuffled to the door. Swinging it open, she found Emily standing patiently on the other side.
"Bonnie," she greeted with a smile as her sharp eyes took in her friend's disheveled appearance. She lifted a curious brow. "You look as if you have not slept a wink."
Bonnie mussed her curls absently.
She had maybe gotten three hours of sleep in total. Somehow, climbing a tree with Damon had seemed a better idea than climbing into bed alone. They had sat in the branches for ages, whispering secrets to each other. It was childish, but it made her stomach swoop pleasantly every time she thought about it.
Heaving a sigh, she offered Emily a small shrug. "I had a lot on my mind. What brings you here so early?"
Emily usually only visited on their free days, but their next free day wasn't for a while still, so something must have happened.
Emily quickly glanced both ways down the hall before stepping by Bonnie and into her room. She motioned towards the door and Bonnie moved to close it.
"What is it?" Bonnie asked, trepidation crawling its slow way up her spine.
Emily's face was sombre. "Miss Katherine has bid me redouble my efforts with you."
Guilt wrapped around Bonnie's heart and gave it a little squeeze.
She should have seen this coming. Of course Katherine would use every tool she had available to trip Bonnie up.
"That's not good," she replied simply, her eyes suddenly finding the wood paneling of the floor fascinating.
"There is some good news though," Emily continued. "Katherine has chosen today to visit her good friend Pearl. I will attend to her this morning and then she will away to town. I will have the rest of the day free to labour on the spell and, if you will join me after your day's work, together we may see it finished sooner than expected. I do feel we are close."
Bonnie's guilt ridden heart sunk into her stomach. "That's great."
"Bonnie," Emily began softly, "are you ill?"
She shook her head firmly and forced herself to meet Emily's eyes, smiling sheepishly. "Nah, just tired."
Concern wrinkled Emily's forehead even as she nodded her acceptance. "I will leave you then, to dress and ready for today."
Bonnie watched as she crossed the room to make her exit.
"Emily, I..."
Emily turned to stare at her patiently while Bonnie chewed her lip. She hated lying to Emily, especially with her ancestor trying so hard to help her and keep her safe. She wondered what Emily would do if she told her the truth – if she told her everything.
She wanted to be honest with her. She felt she owed her that much.
"I..." The words caught in her throat and she dropped her head in shame. "I just wanted to thank you for everything. It means a lot, what you're doing."
"Would you not do the same for me?"
Bonnie's gaze swung to Emily's as she answered earnestly, "In a heartbeat."
Emily's lips stretched into a smile, "Then I would ask you not to thank me. What is a spell amongst kin?"
Bonnie did her best to return the smile, but it felt strained. Feeling a sudden urge to connect with her ancestor, she asked, "Speaking of kin; how is Francis?"
Emily's eyes widened as she blushed. "He is well, though I know not how he is kin."
"He's my grandfather, that's how," Bonnie replied and to her delight, the red in Emily's cheeks grew. "You must like him a lot," she noted, a tiny smile slowly sneaking its way to her lips.
"It has barely been a fortnight since we began our courtship," Emily retorted rationally.
"And?"
"And..." she hesitated for a moment before stepping away from the door and back towards Bonnie, gushing, "he is the most amiable man I have ever encountered."
"And the most handsome?" Bonnie prompted helpfully.
Emily grabbed Bonnie's hands, squeezing gently as she grinned, "And the most handsome. And he is intelligent and ambitious. He works as a clerk in a haberdashery, but he dreams of owning his own small plot of land that he can work himself. He is a perfect gentleman. In truth, I never thought I would meet his like."
"I'm really happy for you, Emily," she told her softly.
Emily's sharp eyes warmed. "And I have you to thank for this. Were it not for you, we may have never spoken."
She shrugged casually and smiled, "Wouldn't you do the same for me?"
"In the beat of a heart."
Bonnie had a quick breakfast with Gladys. Her friend greeted her with a stolen, thinly sliced piece of bacon and Bonnie broke it into two small portions so they could share it. Gladys tsked disapprovingly, insisting that it was meant for Bonnie alone but eventually relented when Bonnie wouldn't back down.
Gladys was all dimpled, gap-toothed smiles and chatter after that. Apparently the new head of kitchen was a much more efficient and business-like, bristly haired woman, and though she was almost half-blind, she was much better tempered than Thomas ever was.
It felt like a weight lifting off Bonnie's shoulders to see her friend in such good condition and to know that she would be treated better than she had been in the past.
Walking slowly down the hallway towards the parlor, Bonnie could hear the sound of someone tinkering with the piano and felt excitement fizzing in her veins.
Damon, her mind sang and since he seemed to know her schedule inside out, it wasn't such a far-fetched idea.
She paused outside of the parlor's twin doors to give her customary once over to her favourite painting and then pushed into the room.
Stefan, seated in a large chair in the corner, looked up from behind a newspaper to smile warmly at her. She offered a shy smile back, moving further into the room while Damon stopped mid-note at the piano to remark affectionately,
"My, but does not our Bonnie look well today, Stefan."
Her cheeks flushed painfully and she rolled her eyes. Why didn't he just hold a sign that said, WE'RE TOGETHER NOW!
Busying herself with dusting the contents of a small table, Bonnie purposely put her back to the room. I will not be adding fuel to this fire, she decided firmly, though she couldn't resist shooting a disapproving look his way over her shoulder. He smiled widely in response.
"Indeed," Stefan agreed politely.
A sudden yawn caught Bonnie by surprise and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand, ducking her head to muffle the sound and hoping neither Salvatore had noticed.
Stefan spoke again, sounding thoughtful, "If not fatigued. Her friends should use her more kindly in future," he finished pointedly.
"Yes, they have been most greedy with her attentions. They will not treat her thusly in future and will see her to bed at a decent hour, I assure you."
"Excuse me," she exclaimed suddenly. Checks burning hotter than ever before, Bonnie swung to glare reproachfully at both brothers. "Could we not speak about me as if I'm not here, please?"
Stefan dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Of course. My apologies, Bonnie."
Damon was a great deal less contrite. "What are we to speak of, then, if not you?" he challenged with a sly smile.
"The weather," she snapped and then rolled her eyes. "I don't know, nor do I care. Just not about me, okay?"
She turned resolutely back to her dusting.
"Come, Stefan. Bonnie wishes for us to speak on the weather. Shall we indulge her?"
"Certainly, if it pleases," Stefan assented easily. "The sun has been persistent these last few weeks. Many are hoping for a shower to ease the heat and help with crops."
"I have no care for rain at present," Damon said and Bonnie tilted her head in curiosity. She knew for a fact that Damon loved the rain. Keeping her focus firmly on the decanters in front of her, she tried her best not to pay any more attention.
But she could still hear Damon speaking,
"I have become quite partial to the sun, these past few months."
"Oh? Why so?"
"Bonnie is the culprit, for she is the sun itself here on Earth – all gold and warm, and when she smiles –"
Bonnie spun to face him, her heart tripping in her chest even as she snapped, "What are you doing?"
With a rehearsed sort of boredom, he shrugged, "As you asked. I am discussing the weather with my brother. Are you not pleased?"
Stefan lifted a hand to his mouth and coughed, though it sounded suspiciously like laughter to her ears. Frowning, she met Damon's gaze, her lips turning down further when she noticed the spark of mischief there. "Do something else," she ordered, "Something that doesn't involve talking."
"And what would you have us do, Bonnie?" he asked with an arched brow. "I thought I should enquire, since you're being so very demanding."
She glanced at Stefan, who had finished 'coughing' and was now smiling at her in amusement. He nodded encouragingly, like he knew she had it in her to one up his brother, and she felt herself smile in return.
Locking eyes with Damon, she spoke confidently, "Entertain me."
"Beg pardon?" He blinked uncomprehendingly.
"Entertain me," she repeated as if speaking to an exceptionally slow child before shifting her attention to his brother. "Stefan, you can do whatever you like."
"Thank you, Bonnie," Stefan said warmly, raising the newspaper from his lap so he could continue reading.
"What's this?" Damon demanded in surprise, "Why is he free do as he pleases?"
"He didn't call me demanding," Bonnie answered with a dark look.
Stefan's laughter spilled from behind his newspaper and Damon frowned before his lips quirked into a tiny grin. Turning to face his piano fully, he asked, "Any requests?"
She bit her lip thoughtfully for a moment then said, "Long, Long Ago followed by Greensleeves."
It was about time she heard what they sounded like. Damon peeked at her over his shoulder, eyes crinkled in delight. "As you wish."
Bonnie was almost finished with the room when Stefan stood from his chair.
"I think I may take out Homer for a time. It has been far too long since I last rode him. Would you care to join me, Damon?"
"In a moment," Damon answered idly as he played the last notes of Beethoven's Pathetique – Adagio Cantabile. "I will meet you at the stables."
"Try not to tarry," he said, coming to stand beside his brother, "or I will be forced to ride on without you." Turning on his heel, he caught Bonnie's eye in the mirror she was cleaning and offered one of his patented Stefan smiles before leaving the room and closing the doors behind him.
From the corner of her eye she noticed Damon's hands fall away from the keys of the piano. Wiping down the surface of the mirror she eyed his reflection warily as he stood from his bench and moved behind her.
He hovered a moment, watching her watch him until, almost shyly, he asked, "Are you very cross with me?"
"What for?"
"For not allowing you to rest when I should have. I have been terribly selfish with you, have I not?"
Affection lapped warmly in her chest and she turned to face him with a small grin. "If I had really wanted to sleep I would have just left you there," she reassured and a tension she hadn't even realized he was holding leaked from his shoulders.
Another yawn tore through her suddenly and she did her best to cover it. She had gotten a second wind when she had first entered the parlor, but she could feel it seeping from her now, leaving her feeling still half asleep.
"My poor Bonnie," Damon cooed softly. Wrapping one hand around her wrist, he pulled gently until her hand fell away from her face and he could place a warm palm against her cheek. Closing her eyes, she leant further into his touch.
If you were a bed, I'd crawl into you right now, she thought sleepily. He was so nice and warm. She bet he'd make an excellent pillow.
"I think it may be best if we kept to ourselves tonight, so you may receive the rest you so rightfully deserve."
She hummed her approval and felt the quick press of his lips to her forehead before he stepped away from her completely. Popping her eyes open, she watched him curiously as he studied her feet.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I... have something for you," he spoke hesitantly. "I had wished to present it to you tonight, but as we will not see one another, it seems apt that I offer it to you now."
She glanced at his pockets warily.
"It's not another bonbon, is it?"
He chuckled in surprise, lifting his gaze to meet hers. "I find your aversion to bonbons delightfully ironic."
"And I find your need to buy me things amazingly annoying," she responded before chastising, "I told you I don't want you spending money on me."
He grinned widely, but refrained from commenting. "Turn around."
"Why?"
"Do you not trust me, Bonnie?"
"Do you really want me answering that question? Think carefully," she teased, but he just motioned with his finger for her to turn around. Letting out an unnecessarily loud breath to illustrate how much of a hassle she felt this all was, she did as she was told.
"Now, close your eyes," he instructed.
"Why?"
Their eyes caught in the mirror and he lifted a pointed brow, reiterating, "Close. Your. Eyes."
She did, but not before rolling them.
"Now what?"
She jumped when his fingertips brushed lightly against her neck as he pushed her hair to the side. Goose-bumps formed a moment later as his fingers were replaced by cool metal sliding across her skin. Knuckles pressed briefly along the nape of her neck as he worked the clasp and then his hands were gone and she was left with a light weight against her chest.
"You may open your eyes now," he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear.
Doing so, Bonnie looked down at the weight and found a small pendant, no bigger than a tear drop, resting against the rough cotton fabric of her dress. It was a white opal stone hanging from an incredibly delicate looking white gold chain. Timidly, she picked it up between two fingers to examine it closer, twisting it one way and then another to see how it caught and reflected all the colours of the morning sun.
"Damon, this is... I've never seen anything – this is incredible." She turned to him suddenly and the way he was looking at her made her blood sing. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head firmly. "You have to return this. I can't accept it."
His eyes drifted over her shoulder, his features going carefully blank in a way that tore at her chest. "May I ask why?" he enquired, his voice neutral.
Stepping forward, she placed a reassuring hand on his chest and felt him stiffen at her touch. "You shouldn't be giving things like this to people like me," she said delicately, hoping he understood. "How much did this cost you?"
Relief washed visibly over him and he melted against her hand, placing his own atop hers. "Is that your only reservation?" he asked, a private smile pulling at his lips. "Then you must accept, for I can honestly say it did not cost me a cent."
Her mouth twisted down in one corner, not really amused with his word play. "Yeah, I'm sure it didn't cost a cent. How many dollars did it cost you?"
His smile widened as he insisted, "None. No money exchanged hands for this necklace."
Her eyebrows rose of their own accord. "You stole it?"
"Bonnie," he exclaimed, genuine shock flashing in his blue irises. "Your lack of faith is astounding. Of course, I didn't steal it."
"Then where did you get it?"
"What does it matter where I got it?"
"It matters to me. Things like this," she lifted the pendant for emphasis, "don't just drop out of the sky."
"Bonnie." He closed the little distance there was between them, bringing his face level with hers. "All you need know is that it was mine, and now it is yours. I bequeath it to you." She made to interrupt but he placed a finger on her lips before she could, and then it suddenly got harder to think so she just concentrated on understanding his words. "I wish for you to have this, and I would be honoured if you would accept it."
His eyes burned into hers as he slowly lowered his hand away from her lips. Through the haze clouding her mind she gradually managed to nod. Tucking the pendant inside her dress for safekeeping she promised, "I'll never take it off."
An emotion Bonnie couldn't place filled Damon's eyes and he closed them, as if looking at her hurt him somehow. "Good," he whispered, leaning forward until his lips found hers. He sighed against her mouth and kissed her slowly, as if he were trying to memorize every sensation as it happened.
It felt like she was being drugged. With every languid sweep of his tongue she felt her mind drift further. If it wasn't for the heat – the electricity sparking in her veins when his fingers ran up her spine, she would think she was dreaming.
But there something at the back of her mind, a nagging worry she couldn't shake or name. It felt like she had forgotten something important.
"Bonnie! I've done –"
Fear spiked through her heart, sharp and potent and pushing every last inch of drowsiness from her, as she and Damon untangled themselves in a rush.
The doors! She had forgotten the fucking doors! How could they have been so careless after last time? How could she have let this happen?
Damon stepped back several feet like that would somehow erase the image they had created seconds before. It wasn't like their flushed faces and erratic breathing were going to help any denials.
Feeling like she was about to throw up, Bonnie slowly turned towards the intruder and found Emily staring back at her, her face unreadable. Panic and dread made a home for themselves in the centre of her chest as she whispered, "Emily."
"What is this?" Emily's voice, much like her features, was completely unreadable.
"It would seem you have found me out, Emily," Damon spoke suddenly, his tone haughty. Bonnie twisted her head to look at him in disbelief. What the hell was he doing?
Damon, his back ramrod straight, shoulders stiff and head held high, continued to speak, "My little perversion... but you would do well to keep this to yourself. What I do with the help is my business and mine alone. Are we understood?"
Bonnie's head spun.
What the hell was he doing? What was he saying? That she was just some kind of sexual perversion for him?
She quickly covered her mouth as her nausea worsened.
She couldn't believe it. She wouldn't believe it. Damon wasn't some monster who was only after -
Her breath hitched abruptly as understanding washed over her.
The clever bastard was trying to save their lives.
If the discovery of them together got out it would mean her death and possibly his, but they had a chance of survival if people thought it was rape and not love.
She swallowed harshly as revulsion tried to crawl its way up her throat. Turning to Emily, she saw the same emotion reflected in her ancestor's eyes.
"Of course, Mr. Salvatore," Emily said, bowing her head. Her voice was soft and complacent, but Bonnie could hear the promise of murder underneath it.
"No!" The word tore from the pit of her stomach, forcing her a step forward.
"Girl, watch your tongue," Damon hissed venomously, the only clue to his alarm visible in the widening of his eyes.
"Damon, shut up. You don't know what you're doing," she snapped, panic colouring her words. She focused on Emily who was watching them intently. "He's lying –"
"Girl," he interrupted quickly.
She ignored him and met Emily's stare head on as she confessed, "We've been seeing each other and he's been a perfect gentleman the entire time and he wouldn't dare hurt a hair on my head."
"I see," was Emily's only response. As hard as Bonnie tried she couldn't gage Emily's reaction, she couldn't tell in this moment if she was a friend or a foe... and that scared her the most.
In her periphery she could see Damon inching forward, his hands extended as if to sooth a wild beast. "Emily," he spoke gently, his act abandoned. "Please, I beg of you. Tell not a soul of this. Please. Ask anything of me and it will be yours – Anything! Name any price and I will pay it. All I ask in return is for your silence."
He stopped a few feet away from her, his hands still aloft and starting to shake. "Please, please, please..." he whispered slowly like a mantra and Bonnie felt every one of them reverberate inside of her.
"Rest assured, Mr. Salvatore," Emily finally said, "I will take this to my grave."
Catching Bonnie's gaze over his shoulder, Emily sent her a look she couldn't decipher before quickly bowing and taking her leave.
Bonnie's stomach rolled unpleasantly as she watched her go. She needed to know what that look meant. She needed to know what Emily was thinking.
"Can she be trusted, do you think?" Damon asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
She glanced at Damon and tried to offer a reassuring smile that she was sure failed to reach its mark. "Emily is a friend. I trust her with my life."
And as true as that was she couldn't shake the feeling that she had just discovered the limit to her friend's goodwill.
Emily was waiting for her in the hallway. With one hard look in Bonnie's direction she began walking down the corridor and Bonnie knew to follow.
They walked in silence all the way to the servant's quarters. Bonnie stayed a few paces behind Emily, her chin tucked against her chest like a scolded child. She couldn't have lifted her head if she tried – heavy as it was with shame and anger and disappointment.
How could she have been so stupid? And after almost being discovered just yesterday!
Like wow... This is a whole new level of irresponsible, Bonnie, she mentally chided.
Maybe if she hadn't been so tired... Maybe if she hadn't felt half asleep... If she had gone to bed when she was supposed to the night before...
Her gut twisted painfully and she felt sick once more.
Emily came to an abrupt stop and Bonnie just managed to catch herself before walking into her ancestor. Glancing up, she noticed they were outside of Emily's room.
Swinging the door ajar forcefully, Emily walked inside and Bonnie quickly followed, shutting the door and leaning heavily against it.
"Explain this." Emily's voice cut through the silence like a whip.
Bonnie squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm sorry. I know you told me not to speak to anyone I knew, but he wouldn't leave me alone and..." she sighed, letting her eyes open and her gaze drift to Emily. "I never intended for this to happen, you have to believe me."
"Must I? When you disregarded my ever word to follow your own whims."
Bonnie opened her mouth to protest only to shut it seconds later, not knowing what to say. Emily stood stock still in front of her, all hard lines and anger – and Bonnie couldn't fault her for any of it.
Her ancestor's already straight back somehow straightened further, her lips pulling down abruptly. "Is this what you made to confess to me? When Miss Katherine first asked me to watch you?"
Sinking her teeth firmly into her bottom lip, Bonnie nodded.
"Does she have knowledge of this affair? Is that the true font of her ire?"
Again, she nodded.
"How long has this transpired?"
She buried her hands in her skirts, fisting the material tightly like she might be able to wring courage from the fabric. "Since I got here," she confessed quietly.
Emily took a sudden step back, a look of such pure shock and betrayal flashing across her features that Bonnie felt disgusted with herself. But, as quickly as the look came, it was replaced with a mask of indifference. "Has this been a jest for you?"
"No!" Bonnie exclaimed, her heart pinching mournfully in her chest. She made to step forward, but stopped under Emily's steel gaze.
"Every lie I had told; every risk I had taken to ensure your safety... and you willfully played with both our lives... with your very existence, time and again."
"No." She shook her head emphatically, blinking against the threatening sting of her eyes. "It's not like that."
But wasn't it? Hadn't she done exactly that?
Guilt ran its gluttonous tongue along her ribs and she blinked harder. "I swear, I never meant for this to happen. I swear," she insisted.
"Well I suppose it makes little matter now," Emily spoke cryptically.
Bonnie stopped breathing. "What do you mean?"
Emily stepped slowly to the side and Bonnie's focus was drawn to the floor. Or more accurately, to the circle of salt and candles in the centre of the room.
"What is that?" she asked, even though she knew exactly what it was. With every fibre of her being she knew and her heart cried in protest.
"It is why I came in search of you," Emily said softly. "I have completed the spell."
The words echoed hollowly between Bonnie's ears for a long moment. "You're sending me back."
"You do not belong here, Bonnie."
"I know," she said, the tears she had managed to keep at bay spilling over and burning their way down her cheeks. She wiped at them angrily. "But I'm not ready yet."
"The longer you remain here, the more as like you will upset the future. As you have already proven yourself apt in that regard, I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to linger. My duty as a witch forbids it."
"No, Emily," she stumbled over her words, moving closer to her ancestor who eyed her guardedly. "I can't leave. Not like this. He won't understand. He'll think something's happened to me. He'll blame himself. I can't – I can't leave!"
"Damon Salvatore is no longer your concern," Emily stated firmly.
"No." The word fell forcefully from her lips as desperation began flooding her lungs. She had to make her understand!
Her hands latched onto Emily's arms and she squeezed. Beyond the slight widening of her eyes, her ancestor seemed unmoved by this display. "Emily, please. Please," she begged.
She didn't even know what she was begging for. A life here in 1864 with Damon? To have just a few more hours with him? A few more days? To never be separated from him as long as they both lived?
"This goes beyond your simple wants and desires, Bonnie. I must restore the balance that you so recklessly destroyed."
"Emily, please," she repeated, her voice breaking as she struggled to remain coherent. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, he just... he kept showing up and I hated him. I hated him so much. He's so annoying and stubborn and he... he makes me happy. I've never been so happy in my life – I didn't even know it was possible. Please, I – I can't leave like this! I can't - He loves me... He loves me even though Katherine is here and he should love her and he made Stefan help us send letters to each other when he –"
"Stefan?" Emily cut her off abruptly, her brow creasing. "You conversed with Stefan as well?"
Damn it, Bonnie!
Swallowing harshly, she closed her eyes and answered honestly, "Only a little."
"Incredible," Emily whispered with a short, humourless laugh.
"Emily –"
"No, Bonnie," she said so definitively, Bonnie was forced to pry her eyes open and look at her stern face. "No more. It is high time you returned from whence you came."
Emily took a step toward the circle in the centre of the room and Bonnie's grip on her arms tightened instinctively in response. "No, wait – Emily, please – I love him!"
The words ripped from her, torn from some secret place deep inside, but as soon as she said it, she knew it was true. She loved him.
The hard lines of Emily's features softened as she studied her. She sounded sad, but resigned when she reaffirmed, "You do not belong here."
Bonnie had run out of words. All that was left to her was the salt on her checks and tongue as she cried uselessly. She wanted to be stronger than this; she wanted to know what to say to make Emily change her mind; she wanted to know how not to care about her broken heart...
"You may say your farewells. I will allow you this small courtesy," Emily said so quietly, Bonnie almost didn't hear. "But, Bonnie, you must return within the hour or I will come for you... and you will not like it if I do."
Bonnie ran to the stables. She ran faster than she had ever done before in her life – the wind whipping at her hair, stinging her eyes and cooling the remnants of the tears on her cheeks.
The stable boys startled when she burst in. Some of the horses did as well, but Bonnie paid them no mind, her eyes scanning the stalls and landing on Damon's white mare.
Her chest relaxed and she struggled to catch her breath as she mentally raced through the list of places where Damon would be, relieved that he hadn't gone riding with Stefan after all.
She imagined he was still rattled from this morning and a rattled Damon wouldn't want to be anywhere public, so the grounds where crossed out. He liked to drink when he was upset, but she somehow doubted he'd still be in the parlor. He loved the library, but anyone could walk in there at any time... so no to that.
The only place that would really offer him privacy was...
His room! Of course.
Spinning around, she sprinted back towards the manor. Coming to a stop at the servant's entrance, she took a moment to get her breathing under control. If she was going to Damon's room she couldn't afford to draw attention to herself. She couldn't be conspicuous in any way.
Forcing herself to take her time, she made the long trek through the servant's hall, up the stairwell and into the main house on the second floor.
A girl was cleaning in the hallway.
Shit.
Keeping her head down, Bonnie moved past her towards the door beside the main staircase. Shooting a covert glance in the girl's direction – who appeared to be minding her own business – Bonnie took a deep breath and knocked.
"I asked not to be disturbed," Damon's voice sounded from inside the room.
"I..." She glanced again at the girl and thought quickly. "I have a message for you, Mr. Salvatore, from the chef about... bacon."
She internally cringed. Why had they never come up with a better signal? If she were there under different circumstances she might have been amused by the ludicrousness of it, but, right now, it felt like salt on an open wound.
There was a long pause before he finally said, "Come in."
Entering the room quickly, she shut the door firmly behind her.
He stood across from her, looking an absolute wreck. His hair was sticking out in every angle, like he had been running his hands through it nonstop; his skin was unusually pale; his eyes suspiciously red rimmed.
But even now she couldn't help but find him beautiful.
The silence stretched as both of them treaded in their uncertainties.
"Bonnie," he eventually sighed, "Forgive me. It was not my intention to kiss you. If I had been a stronger man – If I had not been half so greedy for your affection... If I had used any sense at all..." He bowed his head. "Forgive me."
"I'm just as much to blame for what happened as you are. I forgot to lock the doors," she admitted, stepping further into the room.
He glanced at her tentatively, unsure of himself and Bonnie bit her lip hard to divert her attention from the pain steadily building in her chest.
"Emily...?" he probed gently.
"Emily won't tell," she assured.
"That is a relief. And yet," he began cautiously, his brow knitted as he considered her intently, "you remain troubled."
Now, Bonnie. You have to do it now.
Forcing a shaky breath past her lips, she folded her arms tightly in front of her as if to herself guard from what was to come next.
"I'm leaving," she somehow managed to say.
"Leaving?" he repeated uncomprehendingly.
"To go home."
He stared at her a long moment, trying to understand. Finally he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, "Am I to blame? Have I chased you away?"
"No," she rushed to reassure him, moving forward only to catch herself before she reached him. This would be easier if she kept her distance. "We both knew I was going to leave. I told you."
"I had forgotten," he admitted reluctantly, his fists clenching at air by his sides. "When do you depart?"
The word cut her tongue before falling from her mouth. "Today."
His eyes snapped to hers, wide and disbelieving. "So soon? Can you not tarry a day or two?"
Unable to speak, her throat tight with threatening tears, she shook her head.
"And... will you return?"
He sounded so hopeful; Bonnie wanted to die. A treacherous tear slipped past her defenses and she swiped it roughly away, shaking her head once more.
He stepped back, as if physically struck. "You mean to part form me? Forever...?"
"If there were any other way, I would take it," she professed earnestly.
"There is," he responded swiftly, his voice so confident she was convinced he knew something she didn't. He shortened the space between them until he stood directly in front of her, his eyes burning; somehow both desperate and determined. "We can run away."
Disappointment swirled in her stomach and she tried not to let it reflect on her face. There was nowhere they could go that Emily wouldn't find them. Her ancestor's final warning still echoed in her head. "We couldn't. Where would we go? There isn't anywhere safe for us... and if someone were to catch us traveling together, alone..."
She didn't need to finish the sentence; he frowned in understanding. "Fine then..." She could see the cogs turning as he wracked his brain for a new idea. The blue of his eyes brightened when he found one and he countered stubbornly, "I shall come with you. To Canada."
"What?"
"It's so simple. I cannot believe I didn't think of it sooner," he said, a smile crossing his lips for the first time since this morning. "In Canada we will be free to carve out any life we should desire."
He took off abruptly, moving about the room at a rapid pace. Picking random items up and assessing them before either tossing them on the bed or setting them back down, he continued to speak, "I'll gather anything of worth to sell once we cross the border; from there, anything is possible. We can marry and I'll purchase a small plot of land – a cottage perhaps? In the country? Or mayhap the city would be more affordable. It would certainly allow for more opportunities for employment..."
Bonnie's head spun as she watched him race around the room, her breath coming in shallow puffs and leaving her lightheaded.
"Whatever we decide, it won't be much, but it will be something... and it will be ours. Of course, we will have to wait a year or two before we can have any children –"
Her already splintered heart shattered neatly into a thousand pieces and she cried in earnest, her frame shaking with the effort.
Damon stopped in his tracks, turning to her in surprise. "Bonnie?"
An embarrassingly loud sob escaped her and she buried her face in her hands to muffle any more that might try the same.
His warm arms enveloped her instantly, pulling her close. He ran one hand soothingly along her back and she allowed herself to be comforted for the briefest of moments.
"What is the matter?" his voice sounded from beside her temple.
She sank further into him, muttering against her palms, "You can't come with me."
Somehow he managed to hear her despite the impediment. "Of course I can. There is nothing here for me."
She lifted her face away from her hands. "There's Stefan."
"Stefan will understand."
God, why did he have to be so wonderfully stubborn? Why couldn't he just accept the fact that they couldn't be together? Why did he have to make this so hard?
An unexpected flash of frustration ran through her and she pushed forcibly out of his arms.
"You can't come with me," she bit out, tears still falling freely down her cheeks even as she fought to put a lid on her anguish. "It's impossible."
He looked wounded, and then his eyes narrowed and his cheeks flushed. "I could," he protested obstinately, "but perhaps the truth is that you do not wish me to."
"No," she snapped, exasperated. "Where I'm going, you can't follow."
"As long as you remain on this Earth, I can follow," he hissed, taking the necessary two steps to place himself in front of her. "And I can certainly travel to Canada whether you will it or not."
"I'm not from Canada!" she shouted, temper flaring.
His brow crumpled, anger momentarily forgotten. "Pardon?"
Bonnie ran a tired hand over her wet, tear stained features, and released a thin, shaky laugh. Today had been so fucked up – why not ruin it some more, right?
But maybe this was a good thing... Maybe, this way, he would finally understand.
"Bonnie?"
Letting her hand drop back to her side, she took a deep breath and said as calmly as possible, so as not to sound like a crazy person, "I'm from the future. A hundred and fifty years or so."
He went absolutely still. "I don't understand."
"You know I'm a witch, right?"
He didn't make any kind of response, but it was a rhetorical question anyways so she continued, "Well I cast this time traveling spell – I only meant to go back a couple of months, but for some reason I ended up here. Since I got here Emily has been trying to help me get back home – Emily is a witch by the way, and my ancestor."
His eyes widened, but he kept silent, waiting for her to carry on.
"Long story short, the spell I used to get here had yet to be created so I was kind of trapped until Emily and I could figure out a way to create the spell, which she did. Today. Which is why you can't come with me... and why I can't stay."
She inched just a little closer to him. Close enough to feel his warmth, close enough to touch, but she kept her hands to herself. "Do you understand now? It's not because I don't want you with me, it's just..."
"Impossible," he finished for her quietly."Then... this is truly goodbye?"
Her breath hitched awkwardly in her throat and she ducked her head, using her hair to shield him from her weeping.
Bonnie hated crying in front of people. It didn't matter if they were friends or family, she hated placing her pain on other people – making it something they had to deal with. But Damon refused to be shielded from her sorrow.
Placing a hand under her chin, he forced her head up and used the edge of his sleeve to wipe gently at her cheeks. He looked as broken as she felt, his eyes dim and lifeless. "If there is a way, Bonnie, I will find you again."
If he kept saying shit like that she was never going to stop crying.
She needed to get a hold of herself. There were things she still needed to tell him. If she was going to leave him, she wanted him as safe as possible. She closed her eyes, laying her hand against his to still his movements. "There's something you should know... about Katherine."
"Katherine?"
Opening her eyes, she met his confused gaze straight on. "She's not human. She's a vampire. Do you know what that is?"
"A creature of the night that feasts on the blood of mortals to live for all of eternity," he answered easily, his features still scrunched as he tried to comprehend her. "But Katherine walks in the light of day. How could she be a vampire?"
"She has a piece of jewelry that allows her to pass for human. But she's not and she's extremely dangerous." She felt his pulse spike underneath her thumb. "I don't want you to be afraid of her; I just... I want you to be careful. Okay?"
He nodded, but she could see in his eyes that he was still processing. "Are there any other mythical creatures running about Mystic Falls that I should know of?"
She shook her head, worrying her bottom lip and removing his hand from her cheek so that she could hold it in hers. She stared at that hand for a long time, until eventually, she said, "I want you to promise me something."
He brought himself forward until his forehead rested against hers. "Anything," he whispered, breath fanning along her skin.
She pulled back far enough to look him in the eye. This might be the last time she got the chance.
"Promise me th – " The words stuck in her throat and she squeezed his hand for strength. "Promise me," she tried again and this time it came a little easier, "that you'll remember this feeling. That you'll remember what it feels like –" she took a deep breath to steady herself. She would not cry again – "what it feels like to be loved by someone... and that you won't settle for anything less than this. Because I love you, Damon and I want you to be happy."
"I..." He struggled, seemingly at a loss. His eyes roved over her rapidly and she could see him stranded somewhere between joy and anguish. Almost in the blink of an eye, his jaw hardened and a curious spark entered his baby blues. "I promise you, I will not rest until I have this feeling once more. I will fight to find it again... and I will never settle."
A sense of foreboding trailed down Bonnie's spine, her lips tugging into a frown. "Don't do anything stupid," she cautioned.
"Now you ask the impossible of me, Bonnie." He smiled and it was beautiful and wild.
And frightening.
Her time was up.
Untangling herself from Damon took some effort. Protesting gently, he tugged her back to him anytime she attempted to pull away, his lips falling on any inch of exposed skin they could reach and driving her to distraction.
Eventually she managed to peel away long enough to make it to the door. Cracking it open, she peeked outside to find the hallway empty.
Damon was immediately behind her, one arm wrapping around her waist while the other hand pushed her curls to the side so he could access her neck. He nipped lightly and she sighed, twisting in his arms to steal his lips.
This will be the last one, she thought, not for the first time, as she ran her fingers over the surprisingly sculpted muscles of his abdomen and he hummed his approval.
Breaking the kiss, she whispered, "I have to go."
He kissed her jaw, the underside of her jaw, her neck... muttering all the while, "If this is the last I have of you... then allow me just... a moment longer."
She would not cry. She was done crying.
Blinking harshly, she answered, "We're out of moments."
His arms tensed suddenly and he buried his face further in her neck. "Bonnie." His voice cracked and she felt something cold and wet land against her collar. Neither of them moved. She held him tightly and thought she might never let go.
Bonnie stood inside the salt circle feeling like her heart had been cut from her chest and left somewhere to bleed out.
And it wasn't even noon yet.
At the very least she had gotten to say goodbye to him. At the very least he knew that she loved him. She could take solace in that.
But there was one other thing she needed to ensure before she could leave with any sense of peace. Something that she needed to ask Emily to do; not that she had any right to ask anything more of Emily, but she couldn't leave without trying.
Glancing at her ancestor mixing together the necessary elements for the spell, Bonnie took a deep breath. "Emily..."
"Yes," she replied, not bothering to look away from her task.
"I need you to promise you'll keep Damon away from Katherine."
Emily made no response, continuing to crush and mix the ingredients until they made a paste. Had she not heard her?
"Em-"
"No," Emily said, rising to her feet with the newly made paste and stepping towards Bonnie. She dipped a finger into the concoction and smeared it along Bonnie's forehead.
"Look, I know Katherine is your employer and you have some kind of weird relationship, but please – if she gets her hooks into Damon she will destroy him."
"You misunderstand me, Bonnie. I will not intervene on your behalf. You have trifled enough." Emily moved away, placing the mortar and pestle on her writing desk and exchanging it for her grimoire.
"But Emily –"
"When you take your leave of this place, I intend to cast a spell. It will erase any trace of your existence from the lives you have touched whilst here –"
"No!" Bonnie exclaimed, horror lancing through her. She made to leave the circle, but Emily, one step ahead, already had her hand lifted to stop her.
Bonnie felt her muscles contracting painfully up her legs and arms, locking her into place. She struggled against her paralysis, but the more she attempted to move, the stiffer her muscles became.
"It will be as if you never were," Emily continued informing her somberly, "It was the only way I could conceive to ensure that events remain unaltered."
"No, Emily, please... don't do this."
One by one, the candles in the circle were lit.
"All memories of you will be forgotten and life will proceed as intended."
"Emily, please," she pleaded uselessly, over and over and over again.
Trapped motionless in the heart of the salt circle, Bonnie watched helplessly as Emily's lips formed the words to send her home.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please don't hate me! I've been planning to do this from the very beginning. Since chapter one. I know this was probably quite painful to read, but it needed to get done. Bonnie couldn't stay in the past forever. And don't worry, I'm a big believer in happy endings so everything will work itself out in the end - we're only at the half way point. I still have like eight to ten chapters planned. Still plenty of story to tell!
Emily was kind of merciless in this chapter, but she loves Bonnie. Her part in this story isn't quite done yet, so try not to hate on her too much either. I hope you guys aren't too upset and that you'll stick with me till the end!