Beta'd and Edited by The Grand Cogitator and Tabasco/Dr. Feel Good
Commissioned by my patron, Shaderic
"Hey, Kazuma?"
Opening one eye, Kazuma looked over at Aqua and Chris from the couch they'd set up next to the Lagaan. The two girls were currently engaged in an epic game of Mario Kart. The original, of course, they weren't total plebeians. They'd managed to turn the Lagaan's hangar into a cozy little gamer den, complete with two overstuffed couches, a minifridge, and LED lighting as well. Now if Kazuma could get some lewd posters, it would be perfect.
"What's up, Aqua?"
"Video games are fun and all, but I'm-"
Kazuma instantly sat up, pointing an accusatory finger at Aqua. "Don't say it, don't you dare say it! You'll trip like a million flags if you say it!"
"What? I was just going to say we should get some exercise," Aqua said, frowning. "We could set up a DDR mat or something. You might be OK with becoming a fat NEET, but I'm not. It's hard work to have a perfect figure like this! HEY! CHRIS! STOP THROWING BANANAS AT ME!"
"It's not my fault you don't know how to drive," Chris laughed as her Toad raced across the finish line. She stood and stretched, cracking her back. "Honestly, I am kinda bored. When's the next fight?"
Kazuma waved his hands in outrage, glaring at Chris. "Why would you say that! Her?! I EXPECT dumb comments from Aqua! But you? You know better, Chris!"
"Ah relax. You know you like it. You haven't gotten to fuse with a girl in a week! And who knows, maybe next time, I'll get to pilot you with your 'joystick' like Darkness did. No reason for her to have all the fun," Chris teased, using a pretend joystick suggestively near her crotch.
"We, I, er, I mean-" Kazuma stammered, uncertain of what to say.
"Ugh, don't be gross, Chris. Do you really want to have Kazuma perv on you?" Aqua asked, looking disgusted.
"Some of us go on vacation to get laid, Aqua. There's a benefit to not actually being in heaven anymore, ya know?" Chris sighed.
"I guess," Aqua said, looking vaguely disgusted at the idea. "You sound a lot like my friend Eris sometimes, you know."
Before Kazuma could point out that if Chris looked, sounded, and acted like Eris, then maybe Aqua needed her eyes checked, Darkness jogged up, dressed in a sports bra, yoga pants, and a ballcap with her hair pulled into a ponytail, carrying a bottle of water in one hand and an irate looking Megumin under her other arm.
"Put me down! Crimson Pirates do not have to exercise! We are naturally fit! Besides, as a mecha pilot, personal fitness doesn't matter! Just target practice, and I already blew up a boulder today with some spare C4!"
"A pilot's physique is vital to her performance. We must build our strength and endurance for hardships, pushing our body to its limits, and developing our bodies to withstand the most outrageous of discomforts and even pain!"
Megumin paused in her struggles, looking at just how developed Darkness was, then mournfully down at her own jumpsuit. "You mean, if I exercise daily, my body will develop more?"
"Yes!" Darkness agreed, setting Megumin down. "You must also eat a healthy diet, but one that is rich in proteins and fats to give you more mass and endurance."
"More mass. Proteins and fats," Megumin muttered. She whirled, pointing. "KAZUMA!"
"What? Don't think that I'm going to exercise with you," he said, laying back on the couch.
"I DEMAND THAT FROM NOW ON YOU PURCHASE ONLY WHOLE MILK!" Megumin thundered.
"Uh, OK. I'm lactose intolerant so-"
"Come on Kazuma, we're all going to go jogging!" Aqua said brightly. Kazuma turned, then blinked. When had Aqua and Chris both had the time to change into cute jogging outfits? Chris was wearing green gym shorts and a black tube top, while Aqua had found time to put her hair in a blue bandana, put on hot pants, and a blue Under Armour shirt.
Darkness nodded, raising a fist. "Yes, you must exercise as well, Kazuma! If you lack endurance, how can your fusions properly last long enough for us to be battered about by the enemy?"
"Hmph. Kazuma is going to fuse with me, so that I may utilize the Wave Motion Explosion cannon and VAPORIZE ALL THAT LIES BEFORE ME!" Megumin bragged.
"Well, I guess I'm never going to get that nap now," Kazuma grumbled, getting up and brushing some of the chip dust off his tracksuit. "Come on, we may as well go get this exercise so you'll all leave me alone."
They all headed out of the hangar, with Kazuma insisting they pause and do some stretches. More so he could see the girls stretch than anything else, but delaying the torture of actual physical activity was a close second.
"You know Kazuma, most guys would be pretty happy to get to go for a run with four cute girls," Chris said, putting her leg behind the back of her head, which made Kazuma's eyes pop for more than one reason.
"Yeah," Aqua agreed, mirroring the pose. "Exercise is fun, especially with friends!"
"But you usually just sit around and drink all day," Kazuma pointed out.
"Yeah, but my exercise clothes are super cute, and I don't get to wear them very much!" Aqua said happily.
"OW!" Kazuma turned in time to see Megumin topple over. Apparently, Crimson Pirates were not as flexible as…whatever Chris and Aqua were.
"T-this is the kind of pain I enjoy!" Darkness gasped, slowly forcing her leg up. She was clearly about to break something, so Kazuma reached over and pushed Darkness, toppling her to the ground with a thud.
"Oh knock it off, you're going to tear a muscle or something," Kazuma said, twisting his torso a bit. He wondered if he could safely put himself at the back, to admire the view.
Ten minutes later, Kazuma was at the back with Megumin and Aqua, all three of them gasping for breath and sweating buckets, while a concerned Darkness ran backwards in front of them, and a highly amused Chris literally ran circles around them.
"Gosh, Aqua, this wouldn't be because you always fudged the physical fitness requirements at the GF and sat in your office playing FarmVille and posting on your insta is it?" Chris teased.
"Not…fair…not used…to sunlight…gravity…need water," Aqua groaned.
Megumin jerked a nod of agreement. "Crimson…Pirates…not used…to…extreme…weather…"
"The weather is quite nice today, at 25C and with a nice breeze," Darkness said, sounding worried. "Are you all ill?"
"BLEEEEEHHHHH." Kazuma threw up his breakfast of coffee and doritos into a nearby sagebrush. They were running over the flat, somewhat gravely ground near a wash by the hangar, and while the jog should have been an easy one, it was very different from DDR. Plus, Kazuma had been trying to keep up with Darkness, who not only had legs for days, but was a good deal taller than the rest of them.
"Don't start that or I'll HURRRGGGGG." Aqua proceeded to not vomit up her breakfast, but rather a sparkling and sweet smelling rainbow. Chris grimaced and rubbed her back, while the other three all stared in shock.
"What…what are you doing?" Megumin asked, frowning. "Is this…is this why the toilet smells so good after you spend all night drinking?"
"I thought she just used some of that girly toilet freshener after she pooped," Kazuma said, wiping a bit of bile off his lips.
Chris shook her head. "Goddesses don't have to go to the bathroom."
"...I am starting to wonder what exactly kind of alien a goddess is," Darkness said slowly. "Surely you don't mean-"
Suddenly, there was a deafening boom overhead, the group looked up, seeing seven blinding stars descending towards the moon below them.
"Well, that can't be good, right?" Kazuma said, shading his eyes. He couldn't really tell what was coming down, and they'd left most of their gear back at the hanger.
"Maybe they're just shooting stars?" Aqua guessed hopefully.
"Those are Paragus-type Drop Ships, used by the Devil King's army," Megumin said, her eyes suddenly glowing softly. "We are under attack!"
Before Kazuma could think about what to do, he found himself lifted and slung over Darkness's shoulder, with Megumin on the other one as Darkness started sprinting back to the hanger, Chris hot on her heels, dragging a wailing Aqua along with her.
"Put me down! I can walk!" Kazuma protested loudly.
"And do you think you can run the kilometer and a half back to base faster than I can?" Darkness puffed, her breathing still steady despite now carrying two people and moving much faster than they had on the way out.
"...no, but it's undignified. A man shouldn't just be carried along by a woman," Kazuma grumbled.
"Imagine how I feel about this. A Crimson Demon should lead the charge, not be hauled about like a sack of grain. At least let me sit piggyback!" Megumin demanded.
Instead of answering, Darkness just ran on, Chris and Aqua somehow managing to keep up despite Aqua crying up enough tears to fill a bucket every ten steps and Chris loudly berating her as she dragged Aqua on.
"This is why you don't cheat on physical fitness reports! All those sherry bonbons go straight to your gut!"
"I do exercise! I do yoga and DDR and Wii Fit, not the boring outside kind!" Aqua wailed.
"Ugh! I beg you and beg you to come to the gym with me to do a little sparring or some cardio but NOOOOOO you're too busy coming with with weird schemes to isekai more NEETs from Earth because THAT WORKED SO GOOD FOR US IN THE PAST!"
"DON'T BULLY ME ERIS I'M THE SENIOR GODDESS!"
"WELL I'M NOT THE ONE THAT JUST PUKED IN THE BUSHES IN FRONT OF THE MORTALS, MISS HIGH AND MIGHTY!"
They bickered like that all the way back to the hanger, with Aqua seeming to switch between "Chris" and "Eris" on the fly without even realizing she was doing it.
When they got back, Chris dropped Aqua about the same time Darkness set Kazuma down on the decking, and everyone scrambled for their mecha. Kazuma was barely in his before Megumin opened a line to him.
"Kazuma, Kazuma!" she panted, her face flushed and eyes sparkling.
"Yeah, what is it?" Kazuma demanded as he fired up the Lagaan and tossed out the empty beer cans and chips wrappers.
"Fuse with me first! I demand a proper fusion with you! The last time was a mere farming mecha, and this time I want to feel the glory of a fully empowered WAVE MOTION EXPLOSION CANNON!"
Kazuma paused, his mind flashing Space Battleship Yamato where the Wave Motion Gun managed to blow up several very large objects, and the fact that he was on a moon, not a planet.
"Let's make supercharging your already overpowered gun a little lower on our priority list, shall we?"
"WHAT?! But just imagine: the glory of seeing the aftermath of the most powerful weapon in the entire system, our hearts pounding as one as we unleash untold glorious devastation upon our foes! It is for this reason and this reason only that I have consented to remain kidnapped by you! So that I may be the true mistress of the one and only WAVE MOTION EXPLOSION CANNON!"
"Uh huh. Does anyone have a plan that does NOT involve recreating a colony drop from point-blank range?" Kazuma demanded.
"Y-you should fuse with me! I-I volunteer to be the one strapped to the table this time!" Darkness panted, her face popping up onto Kazuma's screen.
"Stop thinking like a pervert and think like a tactician," Chris said, her own face popping up as she scowled. "Darkness, there's a time and a place to be thirsty, and this ain't it. Kazuma: follow us out, and stay tight. I'll scout things with my mech, I'm the lightest and the infiltrator."
"Isn't that an argument that I should fuse with you?" Kazuma sighed.
Chris shook her head. "We don't know what these clowns are packing. Megumin's got the firepower, Darkness has the tankiness, and I've got the speed. We'll have to see what's needed in this case."
"Firepower is clearly the superior path! The only thing that is even close to sheer destructive potential in importance is looking cool, and my mecha is clearly the coolest!" Megumin bragged.
"No, actually, I've already made up my mind. Chris makes a good point," Kazuma said, and launched his mecha towards Chris's. "We need to scout it out. I'm fusing with her."
"W-wait! Kazuma! I'm not ready!" Chris cried, trying to dodge out of the way. "You can't just fuse with a girl without her consent!"
Kazuma landed on Chris' mecha, latching on with Lagaan. "Oh, sure, fine. So you're saying you don't want to fuse with me?"
"Look, I didn't say that! It's just that, well, fusing is a big commitment! Are you sure you're not just going to go around fusing with Darkness later because she's got bigger tits!?" Chris demanded, looking rather flustered as she tried to keep her eyes fixed on maneuvering her mecha towards the place the enemy dropships had landed instead of looking at Kazuma.
"C-Chris! How could you say such a thing?" Darkness gasped. "I-I do not always enjoy how men lust after me and my body, a-and degrade me, viewing me as nothing but an object who-"
"Darkness, I love you like a sister, but now is not the time to remind me that one of us is built like a pinup model and the other gets mistaken for a boy when I don't pad my bra," Chris grumbled.
Kazuma slid the Laagan around to look Chris in the eye, and said the only thing he could: "Flat is justice."
For a moment, Chris just gaped at Kazuma. Then she grinned widely. "Fuse me, baby!"
Kazuma slammed the Button That Does Stuff, and once more his mecha twisted and warped around him. Unlike the last time he fused with Chris, she wasn't half wrapped around his body in a cramped little set of enlarged power armor. However, he still found himself straddling Chris with her legs wrapped around his midsection, and a joystick sitting on her navel. She was dressed in a skintight green leotard, while he had on a latex jumpsuit for what he was sure were important reasons, but mostly made things very awkward.
"You would end up on top again," Chris sighed, wiggling beneath Kazuma a little.
"D-don't do that!" Kazuma gasped. "Your right against, um…"
Chuckling, Chris lay back on the padded couch she was strapped into. "I'd make a joke about that being a candy bar in your pocket, but we both know what it is."
"Yeah, er, we should focus on the mission," Kazuma said. He blushed, leaning slightly to grasp the joy stick, and his other hand reaching up to touch the rest of the controls along Chris' thigh.
"Don't get too frisky now. I expect a proper date before I let you get to Third Base, let alone Second," Chris teased.
"I, er, um, I don't-"
"Oh relax, Kazuma. Just enjoy it. But not too much! I don't need you daydreaming about your weird harem fantasies when we're supposed to be focusing on combat," Chris chided. She furrowed her brow, obviously concentrating. "Alright, I can feel all the mecha's systems. Looks like the stealth system has been upgraded. I'm not picking anything up on my long range sensors yet, but we might want to go silent now."
Kazuma nodded his agreement. "Engage the stealth systems, Chris. Darkness, hang back and guard Megumin. She's got all the firepower."
"Hmph. If you had fused with me, we could have obliterated them before they could detect us," Megumin grumbled.
"Relax. Apparently Kazuma has a thing for small busts, so there's hope for you still kiddo," Chris taunted.
"I AM NOT A KID! I'LL BE 18 IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS!"
"And we'll have a nice birthday party, but no more fusing until then," Chris said.
"Look, can we not make this any more awkward than it is?" Kazuma pleaded.
"No chance, Pervzuma. Just remember: you're a pilot, not a harem master," Aqua said, popping up on his screen from her own support mech, which was hanging back with the other three.
"Oh don't worry, if he wants to get past second with me, he needs to promise all he'll ever do with the other girls is fuse. Besides, I'm not ready for that sort of commitment yet, and neither is he," Chris said.
"Er, are you...are you serious about dating me?" Kazuma asked.
Chris rolled her eyes. "Kazuma, this isn't the time or place. Either I tease you or I start blushing and turn into a hot mess because this is the perviest thing I've ever done, and I actually volunteered for it. Besides, we're going into combat. Focus on NOT getting us killed, OK?"
They ran for a few kilometers outside town towards the impact site, and Kazuma had to admit he was impressed: the passing of the giant mecha at over 200 kph left only a faint breeze and kicked up very little dust, barely even damaging the scrub brush and trees they passed over.
"How are we not kicking up a huge dust cloud and leaving big ass footprints?" he mused aloud.
"Hover system: we're not running so much as skating along on giant hoverboots," Chris explained. "I can feel it; you're choosing the direction, but I'm the one doing the running. It's not fair the girl has to do the workout when we do this!"
Coughing, Kazuma fought to keep the mecha on a straight path, his hands shaking slightly. "I, er-"
"Kazuma, you have got to be able to take a little innuendo, especially since there is no way you don't end up fusing with all of us depending on the situation," Chris said, sounding both exasperated and flustered.
"Hey, I didn't choose this set up, Aqua did!" Kazuma protested.
"No, I didn't. The fusion system behaved perfectly normally when you fused with me. You're just too horny. I guess I'm the only one of us with any sense," Aqua huffed, tossing hair back and glaring.
"Wait, you're the only girl I don't find attractive…" Kazuma mused.
"WHAT!? MY FIGURE IS PERFECT!"
"Yeah, but you're like, my bro, or maybe my sister? I certainly don't want to sleep with you, and you apparently don't find the idea of sleeping with me attractive," Kazuma said, speaking his thoughts aloud. "Which means…"
"OK THAT'S ENOUGH FLIRTING FOCUS NOW PLEASE!" Chris demanded. "PICKING UP SEVEN ENEMY MECHA ON THE LONG RANGE SCANNERS SLOW DOWN THANK YOU VERY MUCH."
Quickly, Kazuma put the brakes on, sliding to a stop by a low rise, then hunching over and walking up to the ridgeline. Below him, he saw several mecha and beasts forming up. They were doing…warm up exercises?
"MWA-AHAHA! Moi's all-seeing demonic eye detects the presence of the heroes!" one of the mecha, a tall, slender model with a black and white mask on the head, as well as what looked like a black gentleman's coat with long twintails and a gold cane tipped with a similar shaped mask, said pointing the cane towards Kazuma's position.
The others turned toward Kazuma, and Chris gritted her teeth. "I don't know how, but the one with the weird mask seems to have picked us up."
"Well then," a rather sensuous looking Kaiju said, flicking back her long dark reddish hair. Her upper half was that of a giant, very well endowed woman, but the lower half was some sort of mechanical snake body, making her look like a lamia. "Let us introduce ourselves."
"Do we have to?" an ominous looking mecha with dark armor, a giant sword, and for some reason, carried its head under one arm demanded.
"It's in the contract," sighed a red and black mecha with sleek curves, twin horns on his head, bat wings on the back, and more guns than any other creation Kazuma had ever seen, including a gun that looked suspiciously like Megumin's Wave Motion Explosion Cannon.
"Let's just get it over with," rumbled the smallest, a man in power armor that looked rather unremarkable, and bore only a simple rifle. "Then we can actually get to work."
"READY!" the masked mecha declared.
The seven foes formed up, the kaiju snake, little power armor, and a third that looked like a plane, boring factory version of a generic mech on the left, the overgunned mecha, dark headless one, and a cloaked mecha that had some hidden curves that looked a lot like a woman's bust on the left.
"DEVIL KINGS ELITE FORCE!" the seven bellowed together. "VANIR'S TOKUSENTAI FORCE!"
"Wait, are they…are they…oh my God, they are," Kazuma gasped, fighting back laughter as he watched the spectacle unfold.
"THEY'RE DOING A GROUP POSE!" Megumin squealed. "TRULY THEY ARE WORTHY FOES!"
Music began to blare from the crashed ships, and the seven mecha and kaiju began to move about, dancing about, and singing, of all things.
First the giant black mecha stepped forward, swaying back and forth, before posing with his head held up with one hand, the giant sword pointing straight up at the sky with the other.
My Name is Verdia
I've got the mightest blade!
My mystic might can take your life with a word (HO!)
With my unstoppable curse Premonition of Death,
No foe can resist my undead might!
The black mecha danced backwards, and the man in power armor pirouetted out, dancing far more gracefully than his slightly chubby armor would have led Kazuma to believe.
The name is Hans here comes the Poison General woh,
my hunger is unmatched by anyone
Yes, we are
We've just arrived! and we're the most elite warriors in the universe
we even shut up whining kids, we're the Demon Elite Squad
Yes, we are
We'll arrive in a flashy way, we'll show you our Special fighting pose
You'd better go on and kneel before it's ultimate beauty
"Dude, Aqua, are you catching this?" Kazuma asked, unable to believe what he was seeing.
"Ugh, they're totally ripping off the Ginyu force," Aqua complained. "And their changed lyrics aren't even good!"
"Ok, less nerd stuff, more focus on the deadly enemy mecha!" Chris snapped, even as yet another of their foes strutted out,
Hey there My name is Sylvia
They call me the Flesh Shaper I'm also known as the special squad's number 2 man
Shall I pet you using my signature Mage Killer
And if you're a good boy I'll do more than just cop a feel
"Wait, did she say man? That doesn't make sense," Kazuma muttered.
"Shhhh, this is so cool!" Megumin hushed.
The plain looking mecha cartwheeled forward, then did a backflip, striking a dramatic pose with one hand before its face, the other raised up behind it.
Ragecraft, That's what they call me
I have the power defy your eyes
Woah, I am truly an enigma
We've just arrived! and we're the most elite warriors in the universe
We're the best in the world, the one and only Vanir Special squad
Yes we are!
Breaking the routine of blatantly ripping off the Ginyu force, the overgunned mecha shuffled forward, looking decidedly unenthusiastic.
I'm Wolbach, the one with all the guns
I'd rather take a nap than fight
But I have to get my funding somehow
So I guess I have to do this
Since humans are all racist dirtbags
"Whoa, hey, uncalled for!" Kazuma said, raising and shaking a fist. "Some of my best friends are aliens!"
"Which of us are aliens?" Darkness asked in confusion.
"FOOLISH DARKNESS, I AM NO MERE HUMAN, BUT A CRIMSON PIRATE!" Megumin laughed.
"Yeah but you're still biologically compatible with a human, your race is just genetically engineered," Aqua said.
"What?! How do you-"
"Shush, this is too funny. Chris, are you recording this?" Kazuma asked.
"Yes, and for your information, I suppose Aqua and I both count as aliens, but goddesses work on Lego genetics you'll be happy to know."
"Great, not super interested in having kids at the moment, but I'll remember that for later I guess," Kazuma said.
With a grand bow and a flourish of his cane, the masked Mecha waltzed forward, continuing to step through a foxtrot as he sang out
HO-HO! Je m'appelle Vanir,
The one and only team captain
I'm here to bring you all endless despair
I serve under Lord Frieza
Oh, moi's mistake, the Devil King
BWAHAHAHA! Watch out!
MOI'S MASK!
I share far more with Ginya
That looks could tell you
So, puppets, prepare to dance to my tune!
"Shit, I thought this couldn't get any worse," Chris muttered.
"I know. Space French," Kazuma said, shuddering. "Truly atrocious."
"Uh, not quite…what's so wrong with the French?" Chris demanded.
"Buncha stuck up jerks. Shhh, let's see how this ends."
The cloaked mecha danced forward, swirling its cape dramatically as it posed on tippy toes.
Yes we are!
We've just arrived! and we're the most elite warriors in the universe
My name? It's a secret! Just call me Regina for now
I insist that our battle be fought on equal terms, it's only fair
Fairness is what warriors are all about
You'd better remember that
"Lame. She barely even changed the lyrics, and left out that bit about frogs," Kazuma commented.
"I'm with Ginya, frogs are gross," Aqua said, sticking her tongue out and shuddering.
Yes, we are
We've just arrived! and we're the most elite warriors in the universe
we even shut up whining kids, we're the Demon Elite Squad
Yes ,we are
We'll arrive in a flashy way, we'll show you our Special fighting pose
You'd better go on and kneel before it's ultimate beauty
"Meh. Seven out of ten," Kazuma opined. "Not original enough."
"WHAT?! That was amazing! Incredible!" Megumin gasped.
Suddenly, Megumin opened a line on the general broadcast channel.
"ATTENTION! DEVIL KING ELITE SQUAD! WE ARE THE CRIMSON AXEL ACTION FORCE! WE SHALL ANSWER YOUR CHALLENGE IN THREE DAYS HENCE, AFTER WE PERFECT OUR OWN INCREDIBLY COOL POSE, AND PROPERLY INTRODUCE OURSELVES!"
"What!? I did NOT agree to this!" Kazuma protested. "And you're giving away our position!"
"MWAHAHAHA!" the image of a man in a black suit with a black and white mask appeared, laughing and putting a V-sign up by his right eye. "What is this? A daughter of that band of rejected science projects who are so poor at piracy they file their taxes? Ah, we would be honored to witness your pathetic attempts at theater! We relish the thought of fighting you mere days from now!"
"We could just fight them now," sighed a woman with bright red hair and pointed ears. She frowned at Megumin. "Why talk? We have our guns and mecha now. Let's just try and blow each other up. Faster, and I can go home and take a nap before doing something important, unlike this farce."
"I haven't even gotten to eat any wildlife yet," protested a chubby cheeked man, Hans, judging by the claustrophobic close up of his face. "Three days is fine. Besides, the longer we draw this out, the more we get paid."
"WE MEET AGAIN IN THREE DAYS! VANIR SPECIAL ACTION SQUAD, DISPERSE!" the leader proclaimed.
All seven of them shot off in different directions, vanishing from sight in seconds, and leaving Kazuma and Chris alone on the ridge.
"Well, that was a bit of a disappointment," Chris grumbled. "I got all gussied up, and all I got for my troubles was perved on a little."
"We could go back to base, and maybe try first base?" Kazuma suggested hopefully.
"After this shameful display? I need a shower and then we've got some research to do. Aqua, did you catch who's on that Squad? Regina and Vanir."
"Yeah, that's not good, Wolbach too," Aqua said, shaking her head. "Back to base everyone. Looks like I've got some building to do. There's no way I'll let that puffed up demon beat us!"
"Fine," Kazuma agreed, turning back to base. As he did, the mecha unfused, leading him to gasp and flail wildly.
"Gotcha," Chris said, grabbing Kazuma out of the air with her larger mecha. She giggled. "Gotta work on your stamina, buster. I know the average for men is short, but you've gotta last more than a few minutes."
Kazuma sputtered indignantly, but he let Chris carry him back to base.
At least it was nice to know the enemy was as much a bunch of weirdos as his allies.