Kazuma sat in the onsen, leering at the three girls sitting in towels on the bench outside of the hotspring. "Come on, ladies, the water's fine! You know you want to share a bath with me…"
"Oh Kazuma, please fuse with me so that I can blow stuff up and make silly poems that don't rhyme," Megumin begged.
"Wash my back, and I'll consider it," Kazuma said, grinning lecherously.
"Oh Kazuma, I'm so horny, please spank me and use me however you wish!" Darkness begged, slipping into the water along with the other girls.
"Kazuma, I'm super cool and clearly the most competent one here, but I have nearly as many self image issues as you do. Can you please fuse with me then let me give you a blowjob?" Chris begged.
"Hey Kazuma, I'm hungry," Aqua said, looking down on Kazuma as the other three girls giggled and washed his back.
"Huh? No, go away, I don't want you to be my girlfriend!" Kazuma told Aqua, who was wearing a towel as well. She did have a nice body he supposed, but he wasn't into it.
"What are you talking about? Come on, I want to eat!" Aqua ordered.
Something wet touched Kazuma's ear, and he giggled as the three girls took turns licking him. Not Aqua, but the ones he actually wanted. "Mmm, yes, I'll let each of you wash my back and then make you into my harem," Kazuma sighed.
"Dammit, you're being gross again! Ugh, just get up already!" Aqua huffed.
"I'll fuse with you if you agree to stop bugging me," Kazuma told Aqua. "Maybe, one day, I'll be able to see you as a woman."
In response, Aqua opened her mouth and-
AHOOOOOOOGA
Kazuma sat bolt upright in bed, his head ringing as Aqua grinned at him, the airhorn still in her hand.
"The wet willy didn't work, and you were being super weird," she told him. "Come on, it's your turn to make breakfast and I'm hungry."
Grumbling, Kazuma got out of bed, and went to make breakfast. Aqua demanded pancakes, but Kazuma was in a spiteful mood, and decided to give her a taste of real Japanese food: so he made natto with rice.
"Ugh, it smells so gross," Aqua complained, making a face as she examined the fermented soybeans.
"Oh relax, you like to try Earth food, I'm sure it's fine," Chris said, spooning some into a bowl.
"What is it?" Megumin asked suspiciously, sniffing at the bowl.
"The souls of the damned, fried in soy sauce," Kazuma said in a deadpan tone.
Megumin immediately heaped her bowl high with natto and began to devour it, while Darkness continued to eat the portion she'd already served herself.
"It seems high in protein," she observed, nodding in satisfaction. "And a healthy plant based alternative. Still, some eggs or bacon would go well with it."
"I like eggs and bacon! You should make that next time, Kazuma!" Aqua said eagerly. "Especially rice omelets, with cute shapes!"
"Gee, I'm not too sure how to make those, Aqua," Kazuma said innocently. "Tell you what: next time it's my turn to make breakfast, you show me how to make them and I'll see what I can do."
"OK, I'm super great at cooking rice omelets, I'd be happy to show you! Gee, you really are a horrible cook Kazuma," Aqua commented.
Kazuma grinned smugly, taking a bite of his natto. He wasn't a huge fan of it, but he could stomach it and it was worth it to make Aqua have to suffer through it.
Just as they were finishing breakfast, Darkness stood up. "Right. We have three days to train! We must push ourselves to the limits, prepare our craft, and-"
"Pass," Kazuma said immediately.
"I'm already planning on going to the saloon for karaoke. I'm booked," Aqua agreed.
Megumin snorted and shook her head. "You fools! We must spend our time coming up with a cool song and dance routine! We cannot allow ourselves to be outshone by these interlopers! Now, I have already written several incredibly cool one liners for myself. Aqua: I demand that you create an image song for me that will sufficiently awe our foes!"
"What?!" Darkness said, jerking back. "M-Megumin! A song is not how to defend the people of this land!"
"I don't care about that, I care about looking as cool as possible for our next stream! Chris, you do have it set up, right?" Megumin demanded.
Darkness turned to her friend, looking wounded and hopeful, but Chris rubbed the back of her head and laughed. "Well, I actually managed to get us a sponsorship with Neroid. Hey Kazuma, what's your favorite flavor? They want you to drink them on stream while we fight."
"T-this is not how retainers of House Dustiness should behave!" Darkness protested, glaring at Kazuma.
"I thought we worked for Belzerg Mutual Insurance," Kazuma said, narrowing his eyes at Darkness. This wasn't the first time she slipped up, but he wasn't really sure what House Dustiness was, and looking it up sounded like effort.
"Um, er…yes! And if we don't avert the coming crisis our corporate sponsor will surely lose a great deal of money! It's our duty as employees to safeguard the, er, profits of Belzerg Mutual Insurance by training hard and defeating the generals of the Devil King!"
"Will we get a bonus?" Chris asked, sounding at least mildly interested.
Darkness blushed, tapping her index fingers together. "Well, um, we're already grossly over budget, a-and I've had to find some, ah, other sources of revenue to-"
"Ah relax, that's what the stream is for!" Chris said, standing and stretching. "Come on Aqua, let's see if we get soup up my mecha and stream and get some subs that way."
"Why would anyone care about you two being wrench wenches?" Kazuma said, shaking his head.
"Because Aqua doesn't wear a bra with her overalls," Chris said smugly.
"It's uncomfortable because it gets all sweaty!" Aqua protested.
"Um, I suppose working on the mecha counts as training," Darkness admitted. "I was hoping we could practice weapons training, or perhaps hand to hand!"
"Hmm, I suppose increasing the firepower of our mighty steeds is acceptable. So long as you all agree that a cool group pose is vital to our success!" Megumin argued.
They all ended up breaking up to attend to various tasks, except for Kazuma, who snuck back to his room and took a nap. He was trying to recapture that lovely dream, but when he closed his eyes all he could think of was Megumin shouting insane gothic poetry, Darkness begging him to go jogging with her, and Chris telling him to smash that like button and ring the bell.
In the end, three days passed without much in the way of anything productive happening (save perhaps for Chris managing to get a few hundred more subscribers), though Megumin DID get what she wanted. More or less.
"Now my minions, this is our chance to prove to the Crimson Pirate Clan that I am the TRUE genius that they have maligned, and that I alone am worthy of the title of Ace of Aces!" Megumin ranted, pacing back and forth.
"Why do we care?" Kazuma asked, rolling his eyes.
"BECAUSE LOOKING COOL IS THE JOB OF A LEADER, AND IF YOU CAN'T DO THIS YOU'RE FIRED TRASHZUMA!" Megumin snarled, standing on her tiptoes to stick her finger in Kazuma's face.
"You just want me to fuse with you so that you can blow them all up with your overgunned mecha," Kazuma snorted.
Megumin grabbed Kazuma's collar, dragging him down to her level. "Do you not understand the beauty of the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon!? Did you not see WHO was there with the Vanir Tokusentai Squad?!"
"A bunch of whacked out morons who watched too much Dragon Ball, when they could have been watching something cultured, like High School DxD," Kazuma said with a snort.
"I…" Megumin cocked her head to one side. "By cultured, do you mean…"
"He means something pervy," Aqua said, shaking her head. "Besides, Panty and Stocking was better."
"Hard agree," Chris said with a nod. "Easily in my 3x3."
"WHAT!? That's not even a REAL anime!" Kazuma argued. "It looks more like a Western show!"
"Are you kidding me? It's by freaking GAINAX, Kazuma," Aqua said, pointing an accusatory finger.
"Eh, I still say that Avatar the Last Airbender is the best anime," Chris said, an amused smile on her face.
This time, both Kazuma and Aqua rounded on her.
"That is the worst take I've ever heard, and I've been on !" Kazuma growled.
"Chris, obviously, an anime has to come from JAPAN. Avatar was made by Koreans!" Aqua snarled.
Kazuma and Chris both blinked. "What? No, it was made by Nickelodeon. They're Americans."
"Ugh, but the studios that actually animated it were based in Korea! Don't you two know ANYTHING!?" Aqua said, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Do you understand what they're saying?" Darkness whispered to Megumin as the argument further devolved into nerd minutiae that no one in their right mind cares that much about.
"No, sometimes they start talking about things I've never heard of. They have to be some sort of weird aliens," Megumin whispered back.
Darkness gave her a puzzled look. "Aren't you a weird alien?"
"I am not weird!" Megumin cackled, posing as she slipped on a red eyepatch. "The Crimson Pirate Clan are the most legendary of pirates, and are from a distant star! We are the coolest of aliens!"
"Er, I think maybe we've lost focus here," Darkness sighed. She clapped her hands twice. "Um, Kazuma, Aqua, Chris, we really should-"
"And for another thing, Spirited Away ISN'T the best Studio Ghibli film! PRINCESS MONONOKE IS!" Kazuma shouted.
"What?! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE SPIRITED AWAY!" Aqua raged.
"You're both wrong, it's Nausicaa," Chris declared.
Sighing, Darkness gave up on the diplomatic route. She grabbed all three squabblers, and proceeded to sit on them, all three squirming and protesting in outrage.
"I-I do not normally enjoy being the forceful one, I-I much prefer it when others are dominating me," Darkness told them. "But in mere hours, we must face the Devil King's forces! Is this really how we are to comport ourselves until then? Why not heep your scorn upon me! Get it out of your systems! Tell me how trash my taste is, a-and how I am a filthy degenerate, instead of attacking each other!"
"It's not my fault, it's Kazuma's!" Aqua argued. "And Chris! They're being mean!"
"Fine, fighting the enemy is more fun than just arguing anyway," Chris sighed.
"And here I thought you wanted me to sit on you," Kazuma grumbled.
"I-I would never consent to a man sitting on me, to forcing himself on me, throwing me to the ground and claiming me as-"
"GET UP AND GET IN YOUR MECHS!" Megumin shouted, shaking her fist in anger. "WE HAVE BATTLE TO DO AND FOES TO INTIMIDATE WITH OUR INCREDIBLE TEAM POSE!"
Reluctantly, Kazuma got into the Laggan, fiddling around and thinking. Who exactly would the good choice for fusion be this time around? He half wanted to go with Chris and cement her as best girl, but on the other hand not only did Darkness have huge tits and a great ass, but her mecha was incredibly powerful during their fusion. Megumin wasn't a bad option either, though he was a bit concerned that feeding her ego wasn't a good idea, and that she'd take out half a continent with her insanely overbuilt firepower.
"Hey Aqua, who do you think I should fuse with?" Kazuma asked, opening a line up to her as their mecha tramped out to the wasteland they'd picked as their fighting spot.
"Not me, I don't want to do any fighting, it's too much work," Aqua told him, slurping down some ramen noodles.
"Wait, are you eating in your mecha?" Kazuma demanded, frowning at his screen.
"Yep! I put in a microwave so I could make myself snacks whenever I wanted!"
"Just don't start drinking, we'll need you if anyone requires repairs," Kazuma said.
There was a loud kshhhh, and Aqua hastily set down the beer she'd just opened out of site. "Um, yes! I'm totally ready to heal you guys if you're hurt!"
"Yeah you do that." Kazuma considered his options, but Chris interrupted his thoughts.
"I'm picking up the enemy force! They're arrayed on the same plain as before, they look like they're ready for us!" Chris said. She'd been scouting ahead, and from the feed she provided Kazuma could see the mixture of strange mecha and kaiju of the Vanir Toku-Sentai force already deployed.
"Hmm. Alright. Megumin, here's the plan: we fuse and nuke them from a distance before they know what's coming," Kazuma said.
"WHAT?! I spent HOURS on that dance routine and Aqua was up all night writing the lyrics! You HAVE been practicing our group pose, haven't you!?"
"Fine then. Darkness, you're up," Kazuma said.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! KAZUMA, I DEMAND THAT WE FUSE SO THAT MY WAVE MOTION EXPLOSION-"
Kazuma cut off Megumin's line, and focused on Darkness, who's mecha had paused. "K-Kazuma? I, um, well, I do look forward to fusing with you, but, um, I-"
"We'll fuse mid intro. We bum rush them while they're not expecting it. Megumin, you lay down firepower. Chris, try to flank them and take out anyone who looks vulnerable. Aqua, you patch up anyone that's in trouble. Got it?"
"You got it boss. Try not to have too much fun, you two," Chris said cheerfully.
Megumin continued to rant for a bit, until Kazuma cut her off with, 'Hey! At least you get to fire your big gun! It's your fireworks I'm counting on to stymie them and cover our charge."
"...fine, but I get to salvage Wolbach's mecha."
"Sure, whatever. Let's do this," Kazuma said. They lined up atop a ridge overlooking the dry and dusty plain before them, filled with scrubby brushes and a few bent and twisted thorny trees.
"BEHOLD! I AM MEGUMIN, FOREMOST GENIUS OF THE CRIMSON PIRATE CLAN, AND SHE WHO WILL DESTROY YOU!" Megumin bellowed, and Aqua's mecha began to blare jazz music.
If it's necessary, I won't go anywhere.
You want me to unleash my power on you!
This is the greatest Crimson power!
This is the final explosive attack!
"OH JUST SHUT UP, YOU DAMN CRIMSONS!" Wolbach's voice blared, and the mountain side suddenly exploded under their feet, Kazuma and the others tumbling down in a landslide.
"MWAH-AH-HA-HA!" Vanir cackled. "The foolish video game enthusiast from another world really DID think that moi would simply stand here and allow him to attack us in a fair fight?" Vanir laughed. "Behold, my minions! Despair, foolish members of the GF, for thy doom is at hand!"
"Kazuma, Kazuma I'm detecting a lot of enemies!" Chris cried. Out of all of them, she was the only one who had managed to extricate herself from the landslide, jumping up and surfing down the rocks. "They planted explosives under that ridge! And- SHIT! They're gone!"
Indeed, the seven foes on the plain had suddenly rippled and vanished, leaving only Wolbach's overgunned mech where it had stood. Instead, six identical mecha with the insignia of the Devil King's forces, gleaming purple and red in the morning light. From hidden trap doors, more mecha were springing forth, each of them armed with heavy weaponry, and all of them began to spray fire.
"Dammit it all!" Kazuma cried, stretching the Lagaan's hand towards Darkness mecha. "Quick! Quick fuse with me!"
"I have already been battered and bruised by an underhanded foe, and now you seek to dominate me?!" Darkness gasped. "I accept!"
Their mecha touched hands, and Kazuma hit The Convenient Button. The mecha warped and twisted about, and-
Kazuma found himself once in a latex bodysuit, strapped down to a table with Darkness standing over him, his control stick having a joystick mounted over it.
"T-this is not the sort of setup I was hoping for," Darkness muttered, looking around the dimly lit chamber with a variety of implements that had absolutely nothing to do with piloting a mecha hanging on the walls.
"STOP PERVING AND START FIGHTING!" Kazuma raged, struggling against his restraints. "Or we're going to get blown away by-"
"Enough prattle!" Wolbach declared, her mecha taking a wide stance. "Taste the full fury of the true Wave Motion Explosion Cannon!"
"No! I am the true mistress of the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon!" Megumin cried, managing to extricate herself from the rubble.
"Oh no," Kazuma muttered.
"CANNON, FIRE!" Wolbach cried.
"ALL SYSTEMS, FULL POWER! WAVE MOTION EXPLOSION CANNON: UNLEASH!"
Both mecha fired their weapons at the same time, and sparkling red beams of destruction arched towards one another.
"Get behind me!" Darkness gasped, and Kazuma found himself forced to put both of his mecha's arms out. A large energy shield appeared, which Chris dove behind and Aqua was sheltered under, still half trapped in the rubble. The flash and deafening roar of the two cannon blasts hitting one another sent a mushroom several kilometers up into the atmosphere, while the earth itself bucked and trembled. All life was scoured away at the epicenter of the blast, and dozens of the Devil King's forces were annihilated in an instant. Megumin was flung through the air, but Chris managed to catch her and drag her back behind the shield, even as her systems fried and her mecha was cooked.
When the afterglow faded, Wolbach was gone, and most of the systems of Darkness mecha were screaming in protest, their energy drained away by the shield. Kazuma tried to run a systems check, but his eyes were watering and his head was swimming. "Dammit…Darkness…That HURT!"
"I am sorry," Darkness said softly, caressing Kazuma's cheek, her own eyes leaking tears. "It should have been me…I do not wish to subject you to such things, Kazuma."
"Yeah, well, you can be in the hot seat next time," Kazuma groaned. He blinked. "BECAUSE THERE'S TWO DOZEN ENEMIES COMING RIGHT AT US! AQUA, AQUA WE NEED A RECHARGE!"
"I want to go home, this isn't fun!" Aqua wailed, even as Chris managed to dig her out and haul her mecha to its feet.
"You're telling me, that blast fried all my streaming gear! What a waste," Chris muttered, before taking out her energy sword. "I'll take the ones on the right. Recharge them fast, Aqua!"
Chris charged off, spinning about in the air and slamming her blade down into one of the enemy mecha, which twitched, then exploded as Chris swiftly drew out her sword, then raised hand with the odd module on it. "STEAL!"
One of the enemy mecha jerked, then the energy blaster it was carrying vanished, appearing in Chris's hands. She blew away the former owner with a three round burst, then began to fight with a sword in one hand and the blaster in the other, scything down the enemies. They were all uniform, with pointed shoulder pauldrons, more pointed thigh armor, and two spikey antennas coming from the sides of their heads. Several of them fired at Chris, or used energy blades that formed around their fists to slice at her, but her mecha was far more agile, and Chris managed to easily avoid most of the fire, taking only a few glancing blows that did minimal damage.
Meanwhile, Aqua's mecha put her hands on Kazuma's back, and waves of energy began to wash over him. He sighed in relief, feeling as though it was his own body that was being recharged and restored. "OK, keep it coming, Aqua."
"Kazuma, Kazuma they're coming right at us!" Aqua wailed, as a full dozen of the enemy mecha charged them.
"Yeah, I see it. Hold on Darkness, wait for it," Kazuma ordered, even as blaster fire began to ping off their armor.
"I, I do not wash for them to get too close and harm you further," Darkness said, licking her lips. "I would use myself as a shield, but-"
"Then focus less on being a shield and more on stomping those guys! Dammit, why don't you have any ranged weapons!?"
"It seemed unsporting at the time," Darkness said, wincing. "And, ah, my aim is not all that it could be…"
"Well that's what I'M here for! Damn, you shoulda just let me drive!"
"Well, Kazuma, you do not push yourself very hard. I worry that you are not up to the task of combat," Darkness said, frowning down at him.
"What!? How could you say that! I don't think you could even-"
"Recharge complete! Go get 'em!" Aqua said.
With a roar, Darkness suddenly broke into a full charge. She didn't brother with her sword, instead raising a single fist. One of the enemies activated its energy blades, leaping forward to meet Darkness. She sidestepped their swipe, then rammed her fist into the mecha's head, shattering it instantly.
"Uh, I felt that, but, um, good job, watch your-"
Kazuma cut off as Darkness spun on the two foes that were rushing them from behind. She caught one ine a clothesline tackle, then grabbed the other one handed. Her own mecha was half again as large as their foes, and she slammed the one she'd grabbed onto it's compatriots head first, destroying both.
"Er, good work, but there's still more!" Kazuma managed, as blaster fire bounced off their armor. "That stings, so maybe-"
Darkness charged again, shoulder checking one mecha, then grabbing it as a shield. She ran forward, the enemy fire destroying their companion, then hurled its smoking and pitted remains into two of it's companions. Roaring in triumph, she grabbed another by the legs, and proceeded to spin it about as she pirouetted like someone doing a hammer throw. She let fly, the mecha speeding across the battlefield, then taking out a mecha that had been about to stab Chris.
"Thanks for the assist!" Chris called cheerily. "Damn, did you wrestle in school or something, Darkness?"
"Wrestling is a sport unbecoming of a lady," Darkness panted. She hesitated. "I meddled in the System Championships for my division three times. Ny the fourth time no one would face me, and I won by default."
"Jeeze, why do you even bother with the sword?" Kazuma demanded, even as Darkness grabbed the last of their foes and slammed it into the ground.
"Ah, I think it looks appropriately knightly," Darkness admitted. She shuddered. "What I have done today was far too brutish; what man would look at me again, knowing I was capable of such violence?"
Kazuma looked up incredulously, even as Darkness turned away from him, blushing and hugging herself. "Seriously? If I'd known you were actually competent instead of just a useless pervert, I'd have been way more interested in you!"
"Y-you mean it?" Darkness gasped, turning back to Kazuma. "You can still see me as a woman, and not as a warrior?"
"Sure, as soon as YOU STOP THE GUY THAT'S TRYING TO SHOOT US!"
One of the fallen enemy mecha turned out to be not so dead, propping itself up and aiming it's blaster right at Darkness' mecha. The first shot struck her dead center, but failed to pierce the armor. With a cry, Darkness ran forward, then began to stomp the mecha into the dust.
"Normally I would enjoy such treatment, but I cannot abide you hurting Kazuma! Even if he is being far too submissive at the moment…"
"Too submissive!? I'm not the one who tied me down on the table to have her way with me!" Kazuma snapped, squirming about in anger.
"Er, um, w-would you mind if I did?" Darkness asked. "I-I would prefer if you were the one to force yourself on me, perhaps sneaking in on me when I was showering, or slipping into my room at night, or perhaps-"
"Hey you two lovebirds, focus up," Chris interrupted. "Aqua, how's Megumin?"
"She's fine, but her mecha is toast; this will take hours to fix!" Aqua complained.
Kazuma blinked. "Isn't her mecha totally fried?"
"Yeah, I'll have to rebuild the whole thing. Ugh, I'll probably have to stay up late and miss happy hour too," Aqua sighed.
"Right…well, where's Wolbach, and the rest of that stupid squad?" Kazuma demanded.
"Near as I can tell? Only Wolbach was ever here," Chris answered. She walked her mecha over to where Wolbach had been, and picked up a device on the ground. "These are holo-projectors. She had her minions disguised with a holo-projection making it look like her allies were here."
"But what about Vanir, I heard him taunt us," Darkness asked, frowning as she came over to watch Chris work.
"Probably a recording. They planted explosives and just waited for us to come to them. We were idiots: why should the enemy play fair if we set a time and date for a battle?" Chris lamented.
"Yeah, uh, probably should have seen that coming," Kazuma admitted. "I just sorta…didn't want to have to go out after them…"
"Well, once we get Megumin fixed up, that's probably what we'll have to do," Chris said. "And I'll have to get my streaming gear fixed…ugh, I'll lose so many subs over this…"
Darkness looked outraged at that pronouncement, slamming her hand down on the control panel and making Kazuma yip in pain. "Chris, this is not a game! How can you even consider turning war into entertainment!?"
"My chat was talking about how sexy you looked, Darkness, and how they wanted to bend you over and do lewd things to you," Chris pointed out, her tone innocent. "Maybe it was going too far…"
"W-what!? Men, on the internet, discussing my body in perverted ways!? T-that, ah, I do not think…Um, when are you streaming again, Chris?"
"I bet they're in the minority. Most of them probably want you and your ridiculously toned thighs to step on them," Kazuma muttered.
"What!? Are you calling me a muscle bound hulk?!" Darkness demanded of Kazuma.
"Look, all I'm saying is, with those abs and that get up, you give off serious dommy mommy vibes," Kazuma told her.
As Darkness wilted, the fusion suddenly failed, and Kazuma found himself back in the Lagaan, looking up at Darkness' mecha.
"I…I am grateful you helped us win today, Mr. Sato," Darkness said, sounding exhausted. "Let us return to base and restore Megumin's mecha. I will…I will file our paperwork…"
"Sure, suits me," Kazuma agreed, and the group headed back to the hangar for the night. They might have lost this battle, but the war was far from over.
The next day was Kazuma's turn to cook breakfast again, but he'd snookered Aqua into making Rice Omelet's for everyone. Kazuma had to admit, while he could cook an omelet no problem, Aqua's were not only in creative shapes and had much better ketchup decorations, but somehow she was able to add more flavor. He would have to figure out just how she made her fried rice, but that cream in the eggs was probably a good first step.
"Eat up everyone, and let me know how you like your omelets!" Aqua said happily, serving up admirable omelet's for everyone. Megumin got a cute little kitty shape, Chris a winking fox, Darkness a duck on the water, and Kazuma a big smiley face, while Aqua had made herself a fish.
"Everyone, before we eat, I am afraid I have news," Darkness said, coming in and rubbing her face. There were dark bags under her eyes, and she seemed not to have slept much the night before. "The capital of Belzerg, and Duke Ignis, have been attacked by Wolbach. The first attack happened just a few hours ago at dawn. We must go and rescue the duke and his men immediately."
"What!? Is there a battle on now?!" Megumin demanded, standing up eagerly. "I shall not be outmatched this time!"
"No, the enemy has retreated, but the city cannot take many hits," Darkness said tiredly. "We must pack up our gear and go to battle."
"We have time for breakfast first," Kazuma said, taking another bite of his omelet. "It'll take us hours to get there-"
"Kazuma…he is my father," Darkness said quietly.
Kazuma blinked, and he finally connected everything she'd said. He set down his chopsticks. "Oh. Um…let's get packed then…"
"Ha! This time, I will show Wolbach who the true mistress of the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon is!" Megumin cackled.
Darkness looked troubled, but nodded. "We cannot let the Devil King win this one…and we must set about finding the other generals. I have already called, and the transport will be here to pick us up soon."
They all stood and went to pack, but Kazuma paused, going over to put his hand on Darkness' shoulder. "Hey. It'll be OK. You're dad's tough, and got a military, right?"
Darkness nodded, looking worried still. "Yes, but…it is my duty as his daughter and heir to be with him…I should not have indulged my personal desire to have a life of adventure and a scandalous romance…"
"Uh, how many guys have you been with?" Kazuma asked.
"T-that is none of your business! I will say, whatever man helps me save my father, I shall offer myself as his bride!" Darkness gasped.
"Uh-huh. Well, let's go save your dad," Kazuma sighed then he perked up. "There's like, a big reward for this, right?"
When his head stopped spinning, he got up off the floor, and rubbed his jaw. Darkness really could slap when she was mad.