Special thanks to Shaderic for commissioning this story.
And as always, thanks to Dr_Feelgood and The Grand Cogitator for beta reading.
With the taste of warm pizza still in his mouth, Kazuma's eyes fluttered open. He found himself looking up into the faces of four concerned women. Megumin's eyes were redder than normal, and her cheeks were puffy. Darkness was still obviously crying, with wet lines streaking down her face. Aqua and Chris looked worried and more than a little nervous, but apparently they'd not shed many tears over him.
"See!?" Aqua said, a smile blooming on her face as Kazuma's vision focused. "I told you I could bring him back!"
"Oh thank the gods," Chris sighed, closing her eyes. A single tear did trickle down her cheek at that point, though she hastily scrubbed it away.
"Kazuma!" Darkness buried her face in Kazuma's chest, while Megumin rubbed at her eyes and then glared at him.
"I thought you were lost," Darkness said, her voice slightly muffled by Kazuma's clothing, which appeared to be a hospital gown of some sort. Just how bad had that wreck been?
"I knew he was fine. Aqua wouldn't let him die," Megumin huffed. Then she seemed to capitulate and hug Kazuma as well, sniffling slightly.
"Welcome back, Kazuma," Chris said, smiling down at him and rubbing his hair.
"Will you all get off me?" Kazuma complained. "I'm fine! What's the big deal about?"
"You stupid jerk! We thought you were dead!" Megumin said, slapping Kazuma's chest as she sat up.
Darkness laughed, dabbing at her face with a lace hankie. "Do not attempt to rise yet, Kazuma. The accident was…bad…"
"How bad?" Kazuma asked suspiciously.
"Have you heard of the chunky salsa rule?" Chris asked him.
"Uh…." Kazuma winced, and nodded.
"That's pretty much what you looked like, but thanks to my amazing healing-I mean, Nanamachines, we were able to reconstitute you and…look, you were dead but now you're not and it's because of me, and that's what matters," Aqua bragged.
"You mean nanomachines, right?" Kazuma asked, frowning suspiciously.
"That's what I said. Nanites!" Aqua agreed.
Kazuma let it go. She was clearly lying, but at the same time, he also wasn't dead, and really, why complain about resurrections you didn't like?
"You didn't do anything weird to me, right?" Kazuma asked, sitting up and looking at his arms and legs. They seemed to be in the proper order and arrangement, but a horrific thought struck Kazuma. He couldn't exactly check with all these girls around him, but…
"She put your willy back the way it was," Chris told him, causing Megumin to cackle, Darkness to blush, and Aqua to let out a huff of professional indignation. Then Chris leaned into Kazuma and whispered, "Though you might have 'accidentally' gone up a condom size."
A lecherous grin spread over Kazuma's lips. Perhaps he'd need to die a little more often.
"Don't get any ideas there," Chris said, shaking her head. "That's a one time upgrade service, so to speak."
Oh well. Kazuma looked around where he was, and it seemed to be some sort of high tech medical center. Various devices beeped and showed displays that seemed to indicate his health, while there was an IV of some sort that he wasn't plugged into, along with what seemed to be a vat of fluid in the corner large enough to hold a person, sort of like that tank that'd put Goku in to heal in the Frieza saga.
"Where am I, anyway?" Kazuma asked, stretching a little and finding that he felt fine. No real soreness or pain. Heck, he felt better than he had in ages, like a whole new man.
But with a bigger penis.
"You're in the capital city of Belzerg, at our finest medical institution, um…Lalatina Memorial Hospital…"
"Wait, they named the hospital after you?" Kazuma asked before he could stop himself.
"No…it's named after my great grandmother," Darkness admitted. "I was just born here."
"Hmph. Don't flaunt your wealth in our faces like you do those great big melons," Megumin complained, glaring at Darkness in disgust.
"No, actually, I think I'm OK with this. Because I'm pretty sure both your mech and mine are as wrecked as my body was," Kazuma said. He immediately kowtowed on the bed, mooning everyone behind him, much to Aqua's disgust and Chris' amusement.
"O Great Darkness, please use your incredible wealth to buy us lots of cool stuff, and also a very comfortable place to stay," Kazuma begged.
"Well, um, I-" Darkness stammered, and then the door hissed open.
Which was why Duke Ignis Dustiness' first view of one Kazuma Sato was of his pale rear end.
"Oh! I'm not interrupting something, am I?" the dignified old man said, averting his gaze.
Kazuma instantly shot up in bed, trying to hide behind the thin sheet that was covering his bed. "Hey! Knock before you come in, you old geezer!"
"Kazuma!" Darkness gasped, scandalized. "That is my father!"
On second look, it was painfully obvious that the man in question was a big shot. He wore a military uniform with great big epaulets of gold, with more gold thread hanging down from them. There were rows of fancy medals like that of some sort of Third World dictator hanging from Ignis' chest, though by the gold headed cane the man leaned on and his limp, Kazuma guessed that Ignis probably hadn't just awarded them to himself for being the most handsome man in the kingdom. The holster at his side also held a pistol with a worn looking and very functional grip, and one with a rather large bore.
Even leaning on the cane, Ignis was tall, and if he could have stood up straight, he would have been just a hair over two meters, overtopping even his daughter. His shoulders were broad, and his face weathered with a couple of scars under the neatly trimmed blonde beard and mustaches. He was going gray at the temples, and seemed to be somewhere in his middle years. His fingers bore several rings, including the large State Seal of Axel, which was a large amber stone carved in the winged shield of his house.
His visage should have been fearsome, the sort of military dictator to make an ex-NEET like Kazuma tremble in his boots. However, when he looked at Darkness, he gave her a fond smile, and laugh lines appeared near his eyes and mouth. Then he looked at Kazuma, and though his expression grew slightly stern, it was still kindly.
"Uh, I mean, how do you do, your…Dukeliness," Kazuma managed, giving a seated bow that very carefully did not expose himself again.
"Relax, young man, relax," Igis chuckled, hobbling into the room. Out in the hall, Kazuma could see a gaggle of flunkies and attendants, but Ignis pressed a button on the wall, shutting the door on all of them. "This city, and myself personally, owe you a great debt."
A more heroic individual would have been humble in this situation. Kazuma, however, swelled up like he'd been stung by a rather large and nasty bee.
"Well, I mean, I did personally duel Wolbach and blow up a bunch of her troops," Kazuma bragged, rubbing his knuckles on his hospital gown before gazing at them admirably. He looked up and gave Ignis a cocksure grin. "And I've been looking after Darkness and making sure she doesn't do anything too crazy."
"K-Kazuma!" Darkness gasped, but he kept on.
"Plus, we've been defeating all sorts of Kaiju out in the wastes, and we threw down with the Devil King's Ginyu Force. Basically, we're hot stuff, and I'm the intrepid leader of our team: Kazuma Sato. You can thank me in the form of large monetary gifts, and permission to woo your daughter."
"Wow," Megumin said, shaking her head. "You really blew it, Kazuma."
"I dunno, I like the part about large monetary gifts! We also want exclusive streaming rights! We'll even do a spot for state ads," Chris added.
"And free bubbly!" Aqua added eagerly.
Darkness moaned. "Please, everyone, Megumin is right. This is hardly the time for such frivolous-"
"WE DEMAND ACCESS TO YOUR ARMORY! MY WAVE MOTION EXPLOSION CANNON WAS DAMAGED, AND WE REQUIRE THE PARTS TO REBUILD IT! NAY, TO ENGINEER AN EVEN MORE DEVASTATING WEAPON OF INCREDIBLE POWER THAT CAN MMMPH-MMMPH-MMMMMMM!"
Darkness had taken the expedient of clapping a hand to Megumin's mouth, and pressing the flailing smaller girl into marshmallow heaven before she further revealed that their team was indeed in possession of a banned by treaty super weapon that definitely made them all war criminals.
"F-father, um, these are, ah, my team…who I found in my, er, hobby, of, ah, being an insurance adjuster for the family business," Darkness said, giving her father a nervous smile.
Ignis, however, seemed not to have been paying attention despite Megumin's shouting, as he had a dreamy look on his face. "So what Sena said was true! You have captured my little Lalatina's heart, and taken her maidenhead!"
"What?!" the five idiots gasped.
"Woah, hey! See here, pops, I positively have not-"
"Kazuma! What sort of perverted stuff have you been up to!? I didn't build you the Lagaan just so you could sexually harass people!"
"I mean, we made it to like, third base, but Kazuma hasn't actually hit a home run with Darkness yet. Or me for that matter, and I'm still trying to figure out where I sit on the OT3. Uh, I mean, not literally, despite what rumor might have said…"
"MMMM! MMMPH-MMM!"
Darkness dropped Megumin with a crash, and blurted, "Father! I have not, that is, w-while we have, um…fused, we have not-"
Ignis's expression fell slightly. "Ah, I see, you're not pregnant yet then?"
"NO!" Kazuma and Darkness yelled at the same time.
Ignis sighed, looking slightly forlorn, and not at all murderous like Kazuma thought fathers were supposed to in this sort of situation. "Well, keep trying then. I do so want to see my grandchildren soon! It's been too long since I heard the pitter patter of little feet in the palace…"
Kazuma's jaw dropped open. Was that…permission? That sounded like permission!
"Father, we have an army still laying siege to the city! Is it really time to be thinking about grandchildren!? E-even if I do want Kazuma to throw me down, tie me to the bed, and have his way with me, I- NO!" Darkness actually picked up a tray from a nearby table, and smashed it into her face so hard that Kazuma could clearly see every detail of her visage on it.
"Are you OK?" Aqua asked, as a red faced Darkness cast aside her impromptu mask.
"Yes! I needed that. Look, father, we must first see to the army attacking us before we consider anything so gauche as my romantic life!"
"Oh, but life and death circumstances are the perfect time to form a family! Why, I remember, back when the Devil King first attacked the system, your mother and I went out to face the foe at the First Battle of Alcanretia! Why, we docked our mecha, and in zero G right before the battle, we made-"
"FATHER!" Darkness half screamed, her face now completely red.
"Uh, yeah, pops, but, uh, I don't think any of us want to hear about how Darkness was made," Kazuma agreed, shifting somewhat uncomfortably.
"Yeah, ew," Aqua agreed.
"That's a big TMI from me too," Chris agreed fervently. "So, about those streaming rights…?"
"I demand additional firepower!" Megumin added, popping up at Kazuma's bedside.
Ignis shook his head, apparently chasing off his rather inappropriate reminiscence. "Of course, of course. First, we defend the city."
Darkness looked exceedingly grateful, until her father kept talking.
"Then my daughter's upcoming nuptials!"
"I did ask about a big reward for saving the city," Kazuma mused. He gave Darkness a smug wink. "I suppose the hand of your daughter in marriage is a good start."
After Aqua healed the great big bruises on Kazuma and Ignis' heads from where Darkness had banged them together (with Kazuma coming off much the worse for wear) Kazuma was allowed to dress himself in the livery of a House Dustiness Household Knight (and check to confirm that Lil Kazuma had indeed become all grown up) they were whisked away from the hospital to the Ducal Palace for a council of war.
As they drove through the city in hovercars, Kazuma saw that the people had indeed been suffering during the assault of Wolbach's forces. There were craters where once fine structures had stood, places where the road had been blown away in an attack, and weeping citizens by boards with pictures or holograms of the missing and presumed dead, desperately hoping to find signs of their loved ones.
"I guess things have been pretty bad," he said quietly to Darkness, who was sitting beside him in the back of their vehicle.
"Yes," Darkness agreed quietly. "The Space Devil King has long skirmished with our forces, but this is the first time they've launched a full fledged assault on Axel or this city in some time."
Chris reached across from where she sat opposite Darkness, resting her hand on Darkness' leg. "Hey. That's why we're here. Why the GF sent the three of us to help this system. We'll stop the evil of the Space Devil King, and free this system. You'll see."
"Thank you. It means a great deal to have friends such as you at my side," Darkness said, her voice slightly husky.
"Even the Crimson Pirate Clan shall stand fast beside our ancient ally in this time of need, fighting the good fight to keep this planet free!" Megumin declared, posing dramatically as best she could beside Chris.
"There's so many hurt people," Aqua murmured, her face pressed against the glass on the other side of the car. "Should I get out and try to heal them?"
"In this case, I think an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure," Darkness told Aqua. "Work to build the machines to save everyone, instead of using your skills to heal a few."
"I could heal a lot more than a few," Aqua muttered, but she sat back down, looking upset and somewhat dejected.
"Don't worry, once we've beaten back Wolbach, you can heal as many people as you want," Chris said, giving Aqua a sad smile. "Makes me wish that was my domain…but I was never all that great at healing, especially compared to you."
The pulled up to the ducal seat, which despite a few damaged sections from battle, was still a magnificent palace. It was carved from the living rock, and shaped into a work of transcendent beauty. Sweeping arches and soaring towers were hung with the yellow banners of House Dustiness, some of them slightly tattered and worn, but still standing defiant. Many of the giant windows were stained glass, depicting heroic scenes of the founders of the house carving out an empire on the kaiju infested moon, first with sword and steel, then with mechanized might.
Great statues of heroic warriors and noble statesmen of ages past lined the lane up to the house itself, and the grounds were made up of great gardens with incredible topiary and giant plants from across the entire system. The lawns, however, had large numbers of tents erected on them, and the entrance was spilling out with obvious refugees. Streams of food continuously emerged from the kitchen, not for a great feast, but to feed the masses huddling on their liege's doorstep.
Instead of the main entrance, the party was taken to a smaller side entrance, and led to the still restricted sections of the palace.
"Most of the rooms are either serving as a hospital or sheltering refugees, but we'll find somewhere fitting for your station. Perhaps you can share Tina's suite?" Ignis suggested as he led the way through the cramped bunker below the palace, hobbling along on his cane at a good speed.
Darkness flushed at that, but nodded. "My apartments are spacious enough to house us all in more than comfort. But time enough for that later."
Even down here in the section obviously meant for war, the carpet was thick and plush, the walls decorated with exquisite paintings or ancient hangings, and servants and soldiers in immaculate uniforms stood to attention as their duke and his heir passed.
The party made their way to a large room, with a table carved with an excellent map of the city and the surrounding area on it, as well as walls hung with screens and monitors showing various feeds. Old generals with gray hair and uniforms almost as ornate as Ignis' looked up and saluted as they entered, and the common soldiers applauded and raised a low cheer.
"We have not won the victory yet," Darkness declared, shaking her head. "Save your applause for the final defeat of our foe."
"But my daughter is getting married!" Ignis said, beaming happily. "As soon as the battle is won!"
That got scattered polite yet confused applause, which Darkness tolerated with an embarrassed shuffling of her feet.
"I take it the young hero of the hour is the one we have to thank for her impending nuptials?" a steely eyed old battleaxe of a woman with her grey hair in a tight bun and a large scar over her lips that left her expression a permanent sneer asked.
Kazuma puffed out his chest, until the woman added, "Or is it one of the charming young ladies?"
"Possibly both, as long as I get grandchildren!" Ignis said happily.
"We'll talk about that later," Darkness said hastily, and nodded to the map. "For now, we must focus on the task at hand. Admiral Harrington, what is the enemy's disposition?"
"They've pulled back for now, but our scouts report that Wolbach was not gravely injured, even if she did lose many of her troops in that sudden assault by Lady Lalatina's relief force," the old admiral said, nodding to the map. On it, Kazuma could see a number of tokens that indicated the city's forces in yellow, while the enemy was shown in green. They appeared to be reorganizing several miles from the city, while overhead, a small red orb hovered, surrounded by dozens of green dots.
"What's that up there?" Kazuma asked, pointing.
Before the admirals could reply, Megumin cackled. "Those are my brethren! The Crimson Pirate Clan holds to its ancient oaths, and keeps the skies above Axel free! Though our foes are as countless as the stars, we fight on eternally!"
"Indeed, and we are grateful that you have been sent to aid us," Ignis agreed, nodding in thanks to Megumin, who grinned maliciously.
"Wait," one of the older generals said, a man with massive sideburns and large hanging jowls. He held up a monocle to one eye, and squinted at Megumin. "Is that the rogue one? What was her name? Can never remember the gobbledygook the Crimsons call themselves. Megaman, was it? Something like that. Anyway, the little terrorist who's wanted for-"
"General Schlock, are you really questioning the aid of the woman who so valiantly assaulted the foe with a mighty weapon, breaking the siege long enough for myself to return with only a single blow, then to fight Wolbach one on one with the aid of Mister Sato?" Darkness asked, her tone suddenly low and dangerous.
The general paled slightly, and seemed about to take back his accusation, when Megumin threw her head back, eyes blazing in anger.
"I AM MEGUMIN! FOREMOST GENIUS OF THE CRIMSON PIRATE CLAN, AND SHE WHO WILL ONE DAY MASTER THE WAVE MOTION EXPLOSION CANNON AND DEFEAT WOLBACH, PROVING HERSELF AS THE GREATEST WEAPONS MASTER OF ALL TIME!"
"Ah yes, Megumin, that was it!" General Schlock agreed. Then he blinked. "By jove! She's the one! Guards, arrest-"
Ignis slammed his cane tip down on the floor, so hard that it felt like an earthquake had hit, cracking the stone beneath his feet slightly. "General. Are you accusing one of my daughter's vessels and potential lovers, as well as the savior of our city of such things?"
"P-Potential what?!" Megumin spluttered, obviously more taken aback by that than by the accusations of being a wanted war criminal.
"Wait, hold on, I thought I was supposed to be the harem protagonist!?" Kazuma said, feeling rather offended.
"Darkness is the hometown girl, and she's high nobility," Chris told him. "They can get away with this sort of thing. Just roll with it."
"This is not the sort of humiliation I enjoy," Darkness groaned, resting her head in her hands.
"Pff, yeah it is," Chris said, elbowing her friend. "Now put on your game face and take charge!"
"General, I will not tolerate such talk," Darkness growled looking up. Then she hesitated. "Also, um, I hereby issue a blanket amnesty to Megumin, for all crimes previously committed, in thanks for her efforts on behalf of the duchy."
"Might want to include any crimes she commits while working for you too," Kazuma pointed out. "Just in case."
"Don't be dumb, Kazuma. They're only war crimes if you lose," Megumin told him.
"Well, I suppose if the enemy has weapons of such destructive power, it's for the best if we match them," Admiral Harrington agreed with a shrug.
"Super! Now that that's out of the way, we gotta deal with those clowns over there," Chris said, pointing to the section of the map where the enemy was rallying. Then she pointed up to the battle above. "And find a way to relieve Megumin's people. Can't leave them hanging."
"The Crimson Pirate Clan can hold its own! We are the foremost pilots in the system, and those who possess the most powerful of mecha!" Megumin declared. Then she paused. "Um, they're doing alright, right?"
"This was the last report," Admiral Harrington said, and pressed a button. Immediately, sounds of battle could be heard.
"Oh God, HELP! They're everywhere! I can't, I can't AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" a voice screamed.
"Mommy, please, I just want my mommy!" another pleaded.
Then there was the incoherent sobbing, followed by a shattering explosion.
Kazuma felt horrified at the sounds of carnage. "We have to help them!"
"Yeah, we can't let Megumin's people get hurt!" Aqua agreed.
Chris nodded, looking grim. "We'll have to head up to-wait. Megumin?"
Megumin was grinning smugly, while Darkness looked relieved. The generals and Ignis looked a little disturbed.
Then, a new voice was heard.
"B-behold! I-I am Yunyun, Foremost Pilot of the Crimson Pirate Clan, and she who will one day lead us! Um, if you surrender and promise to be our friends, we'll-"
"YES, PLEASE! WE SURRENDER!" the previous voices chorused. "STOP BEFORE WE AAAAAAHHHHH!"
"HA-HA-HA! GREAT JOB YUNYUN, YOU GOT THEM TO DROP THEIR GUARD! BEHOLD, I AM ARUE, FOREMOST AUTHOR OF THE CRIMSON PIRATE CLAN, AND SHE WHO IS YOUR DOOM!"
"A-Arue! They were surrendering! Um, also…you stole my kills…"
"Eh don't worry about it, there's plenty more. Now come on, it seems Sylvia is going to take the field!" Arue said gleefully.
There was one final scream.
Then there was silence.
"Uh, nevermind," Kazuma said, feeling slightly sickened. "Seems like they're just fine."
"Poor devils," Schlock said, mopping his brow with a blue handkerchief. Everyone looked at him incredulously, and the general clarified, "I meant the forces of the Space Devil King. I feel a little bad for them."
"Save your pity for our people, who are suffering even now," Darkness said firmly. She turned to Aqua. "How soon can you have our mecha repaired and ready for combat?"
Aqua planted her hands on her hips and grinned smugly. "Give me some tools, ten toaster ovens, an RTX 4090, three PS2s, and a barrel of bubbly! They'll be ready before dawn tomorrow!"
"Get her everything but the bubbly. She'll take ten pumpkin spice lattes, with an extra shot of espresso instead," Kazuma told the baffled command staff. "It'll be ready in half the time."
"Kazuma!" Aqua huffed. "Why do you think I want pumpkin spice lattes!?"
"Because it's your favorite, isn't it?" Kazuma said, rolling his eyes.
"No! It's a Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino!" Aqua sniffed. "Eris likes Pumpkin Spice Lattes."
Kazuma turned to Chris, who was blushing furiously.
"What? Can't a girl have a favorite drink?"
"Get her those frappuccinos," Darkness ordered. "And some consumer electronics and cooking appliances. I think that's what she was talking about."
"Ha! I'll show Wolbach! My beautiful creations are way better than her ugly ones!" Aqua said, cracking her knuckles.
While Aqua went off to the engineering yard, Kazuma and the other three girls went to Darkness' apartments to rest up before the upcoming battle.
"This is your bedroom?" Megumin demanded, looking around the swanky suit of rooms. "This is nearly bigger than our entire ship!"
That was an exaggeration, but not as gross a one as it might have been. Darkness not only had both a sitting room and a parlor, but also a full gym, an enormous bathing chamber with an honest to goodness volcanic hot spring to feed it as well as a giant shower, two closets, one full of extravagant clothing for every occasion, the other with armor and weapons that seemed a lot more to Darkness' taste.
Then there was her actual bedroom, which not only had a giant entertainment system with surround sound, but two sofas and a giant four poster bed. All of the furniture was done in tasteful gilded wood, the upholstery rich, but quite pink and frilly for the most part. A great portrait of a teenage Darkness smiling in a lush evening gown at some sort of ball room hung on the wall, and in the corner was a baby grand piano.
"I, ah, have not stayed here in some time," Darkness said, blushing slightly as her friends examined the room. "It's er…"
"The ritz," Kazuma opined, mentally trying to appraise the value of just the furniture and drawing a blank after the first few million.
"Very nice! I could get used to staying somewhere like this in between battles," Chris said, looking around in approval. "Come on, show us!"
Darkness reluctantly led them around, and after seeing the armory, even Megumin warmed up to the accommodations.
"Well, I suppose it is worthy of my status as a heroine and genius," Megumin allowed as she looked at approval at an enormous anti-material rifle mounted on the wall.
"Yeah, that's nice." Kazuma rubbed his hands together and grinned. "Now…who's up for a bath?"
The girls all blushed, with Megumin huffing and folding her arms over her chest as she glared at Kazuma.
"Well, I would never-" Megumin began.
"What the heck, why not?" Chris said with a shrug. "I could use a long soak, and this situation couldn't really get anymore awkward. Might as well check out the goods on the competition, so to speak."
"Um, I-I wouldn't mind…too much," Darkness stammered. "We are still at war, but, well, it's important to rest and maintain morale, a-and if you command me to scrub your back, p-perhaps I will."
"What?! No, Kazuma has to scrub my back first!" Megumin said, instantly changing her stance.
"Ladies, relax. We'll scrub each other's backs. Kazuma can bathe later," Chris said seriously.
Kazuma felt his heart sink, while Megumin blushed and stammered something about her not being a pervert, and Darkness hastily amended that she wasn't a total pervert.
"Ha! Got you!" Chris pulled off her top and tossed it in the corner. She blushed slightly, glancing down at her bra and modest bust, then at Darkness. But she squared her shoulders, then slid out of her shorts. "Come on, we're comrades in arms, and we're going to all end up 'fusing' at some point, right? We should get the awkwardness out of the way, so we can concentrate in battle, and- you're not hearing a word I'm saying, are you Kazuma?"
Kazuma, for his part, was laser focused on Chris' panties. "B-blue, with white stripes…and a little bow…" He wiped at his nose, which had produced a drop of blood.
"Well, I suppose I should be glad I can get that reaction out of you," Chris chuckled, blushing. She looked at the other two women. "Well? I'm game if you are."
"A Crimson Pirate fears nothing!" Megumin declared, and stripped before hastily jumping in the bath. "I claim victory as the first one in!"
Darkness took her time, blushing furiously, but meeting Kazuma's gaze. "Um, i-it is a good plan to grow, ah, accustomed to lewd scenarios…considering…"
"Well? You've got three girls waiting for you," Chris said, slipping into the water and tossing her panties onto Kazuma's face. "Better hurry up."
Baths, Kazuma decided, were just the best.
"Mom, dad, your son becomes a man at twenty!" Kazuma declared, and hastily dove in.
Author's Note:
I swear to Haruhi I didn't mean to make it a harem story.