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Derek woke up in severe pain. He was confused for a few seconds. What was going on? He hurt everywhere. Then it came rushing back to him. He had been on Meredith's roof and had slipped. He also remembered in that split second he was falling, it wasn't Meredith's face who flashed before his eyes. It was Addison's and their kids.
He then realized somebody was holding his hand. He looked down and was shocked to see red hair splayed all over the bed. His wife was here. He took his hand and rubbed her forehead. It had been six weeks since the last time he had seen her.
Derek then looked up and saw Meredith in the doorway. By the look on her face, he knew she knew the truth. Before he could say anything, Meredith took off running.
What a mess he had made! He hadn't spoken to his wife or kids in 6 weeks. Yet, here she was at his bedside. He never even told Meredith about his family. He honestly didn't know how he felt about all of this. Before he could process it anymore, he looked up and saw that Addison was awake.
"Hey" Derek said hoarsely.
"Hey" Addison responded, sitting up. She wasn't quite sure what to say or do. They both just kind of stared at each other for a while. It hadn't been this awkward between them since before Derek asked Addison out in the beginning of med school.
"Where are the kids?" Derek finally asked.
"They are with Adele." Addison answered. She stood up and stretched.
Before either one said anymore, Nurse Olivia came in to check Derek's vitals.
"Oh good. You are awake." She said sweetly, completely unaware of the tension between the married couple. " I will let Dr. Nelson and Dr. Torres know."
"What are my injuries?" Derek asked once they were alone again. Addison informed him of all the breaks and the brain bleed.
" At least it wasn't my hands." Derek said, more to himself.
"At least you aren't dead." Addison clipped. "You were really lucky, Derek."
"I don't feel lucky," he replied. He knew he was looking at months of recovery and pain. The daunting task of it all was overwhelming.
The other doctors came in to examine Derek.
"We will do another MRI tomorrow to check for any delayed bleeding, but overall, you seem to be progressing well." Dr. Nelson said, nervously. It was obvious he felt uncomfortable treating his boss.
"I'd like to review my scans." Derek replied. Addison rolled her eyes. Of course Derek would want to view his own scans. He gave Addison a pointed look.
"Of course, Dr. Shepherd." Dr. Nelson said. He backed up to allow Callie to talk.
"Your ankle will require surgery, but we have to wait for the swelling to go down. It will take another day or two. " Callie said. Derek nodded.
"Richard called you didn't he?" Derek asked once they were alone again.
"Yes. Is that ok?" Addison asked. Derek gave her a slight nod, and then they were silent again. Addison fidgeted with her wedding rings. Derek noticed and became keenly aware of the lack of ring on his left hand.
" I can bring the children by this afternoon if you would like." Addison finally said.
"Ok." Derek answered. Addison could tell he was starting to get drowsy again. The pain medication was kicking in. Before he completely passed out, Derek grabbed Addison's hand.
"Thank you." was all Addison could make out as he drifted off to sleep.
Addison sat there a little while longer just looking at Derek. She had no idea what he meant.
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Addison drove Richard's car back to the house and braced herself for what she was going to tell her kids.
"Mommy, look! Aunt Adele made me a balance beam!" Ellie said excitedly. Sure enough, a board had been placed between 2 chairs in the living room.
"Yeah, and I can do Parkour over it!" Khaliel exclaimed.
" That is awesome." Addison said, giving both of them a hug. "Where is Apollos? I need to talk to you guys."
"I'm right here." Apollos said as he entered the room and eyed his mother critically.
All 3 children took their mother's cue and sat down on the couch.
"I wanted to tell you guys the real reason we are in Seattle." Addison began. She took a deep breath and continued. " Daddy is here."
"Daddy?!" Ellie said excitedly looking around.
"He isn't here in the house." Apollos retorted.. "He is here in Seattle." Addison gave her oldest a warning look. He rolled his eyes, but stayed quiet.
"Daddy had a really bad fall yesterday." Addison continued.
"Is he ok?" Ellie and Khaliel said at the same time with worried expressions.
"He will be ok, but he broke a lot of bones. He will need to stay in the hospital for a little while. But we can all go see him after lunch if you want to." Addison answered.
All three children nodded in assent.
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After a quick lunch, Addison drove the kids back to the hospital. Adele followed in her car. She told Addison that the kids would probably not want to be at the hospital for long periods of time, so if she drove separate, she could drive them home in a few hours. Addison really didn't know what she would have done without Adele.
As Adele, Addison and the kids walked through the halls of the hospital, Addison was keenly aware of the stares they were getting. The kids thankfully, were not.
"Now, Daddy is really hurt. You can't get in the bed with him. You can hold his hand, but remember not to touch his back, head, or legs." Addison said, kneeling down to look Ellie and Khaliel in the eye. She knew it was going to be really hard for them to understand. The kids had been around plenty of sick people, having spent a good portion of time in hospitals, but it was different when it was their father.
"Don't worry, Mommy. We will be REALLLLLLY careful." Ellie said seriously.
"Ok." Addison said smiling at her daughter. "Stay out here with Aunt Adele for a minute while I go in to make sure Daddy is ready."
Addison entered the room and found Derek was awake and watching TV. She swore he was about to smile when he saw her, but it quickly faded.
"Is it ok for the kids to come in?" she asked, giving him a tentative smile. Derek gave her a nod and turned off the TV.
Addison opened the door and told the kids to come in. Ellie, Khaliel and Apollos walked quietly over to their father's bed. For a minute, they just stared at him.
"Hey guys." Derek said to his children. "You have all grown so much!"
"That happens when you don't see us for 6 weeks." Apollos said under his breath.
"Apollos!" Addison started to correct him but Derek put his hand up.
"It's ok." Derek said. He had expected some push back from his oldest son.
Ellie walked over to the bed and put her hands on her hips. Derek tried not to laugh. It was a stance he had seen Addison do many times.
"Daddy. You are supposed to stick the landing. Not break your butt." Ellie said seriously. At this, Derek did laugh.
"He broke his coccyx, Ellie. Not his butt." Khaliel said, rolling his eyes. Of all of their children, Khaliel had expressed the most interest in being a doctor.
"Ok. Daddy, you are supposed to stick the landing. Not break your cock." Ellie said pointedly. Apollos busted out laughing. Addison turned bright red, and Derek looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or not.
"Coccyx." Addison quickly corrected before her daughter could ask what was so funny.
"You are right, sweetie. I didn't stick the landing very well." Derek said, taking his daughter's hand. "I missed you guys so much." he said looking over all 3 of his kids. Addison couldn't help but notice that Derek wasn't looking at her.
"Where have you been?" Khaliel asked curiously. Derek briefly looked at Addison. He wasn't sure what she had told them. Addison gave him a blank look as if to say "this is all yours".
"I've been here, buddy." Derek answered slowly.
"Why?" Ellie asked curiously.
"Is it because Mommy and you had a fight?" Khaliel asked before Derek could answer.
"Something like that." Derek said, starting to get uncomfortable. "But it never meant I stopped loving you." he quickly added.
"Can I have some money to go get a snack?" Apollos quickly interjected. He really didn't want to be around either of his parents right now.
"Me too!" pipped in Khaliel and Ellie.
"Um, sure." Addison said, giving Apollos $20. Derek gave the kids directions to the cafeteria. "Come right back." Addison added, giving them all a warning look.
"Yes, ma'am." the trio said in unison.
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"I get to hit the buttons!" Ellie said, racing to the elevator.
"Fine. But I get to hit them on the way up." Khaliel responded.
"Would you two knock it off!" Apollos reprimanded them. Ellie stuck her tongue out at him.
"What is wrong with you?" Khaliel asked his brother. "You've been cranky since we left home!" Apollos didn't answer his brother but just entered the elevator as the doors opened.
The children got odd looks being alone in the hallways and cafeteria, but they didn't notice. The three were so used to roaming around a hospital, to them, it was second nature.
"Who are those kids over there?" Christina asked Meredith, Izzie, and George while they were sitting in the cafeteria. Meredith shrugged her shoulders while she continued to eat.
"That middle one looks a lot like Derek." Izzie blurted out. George kicked her under the table.
"Derek didn't tell me he has a wife, but there is no way he wouldn't tell me about kids." Meredith said. Christina, Izzie, and George looked at her in shock.
"Derek has a wife?!" George exclaimed.
"The red head." Meredith spat out. At this George started to choke on his water. He was keenly aware that he had called the red head hot. Izzie and Christina looked at each other behind Meredith's back. Christina raised her eyebrow. They both couldn't help but notice that the little girl had red hair too.
Meredith got up from the table without saying anything. She decided she wanted to see Derek, no matter what the Chief said. She wanted answers.
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Once again the married couple was alone. Derek looked up at Addison curiously.
"What have you told them about what happened?" Derek asked. Addison took a deep breath and went to sit down.
"I told Apollos the truth." she said quietly.
"You told our 11 year old that you screwed my best friend?" Derek said tersely.
"Well, not in those exact words. But yes. He pretty much figured it out on his own anyway." she said, fidgeting with a pen on the table.
"Well, he did figure out we 'mated' to get Ellie inside your belly when he was four." Derek said laughing at the memory. Addison too smiled.
February 2012
"Khaliel, no! Do NOT put the spaghetti on your head!" Addison exclaimed to her one year old. Khaliel just looked up at her and grinned. Derek laughed until Addison gave him a death stare.
"You can clean him up!" Addison said to her husband. She was 9 weeks pregnant and did not have the energy to wrestle an 18 month old in the tub!
"Yes dear." Derek said, smiling at her. "Why don't you let me take care of the boys tonight. I know you are exhausted from the baby." At the mention of the baby, Apollos looked up from his plate. His parents had just told him the week before that he was getting another sibling.
"Mommy, you and Daddy mated to get the baby in your belly." Apollos said seriously. Addison and Derek froze, looked at each other, and looked at their son.
"Where did you hear that from, sweetie?" Addison asked her 4 year old.
"I learned it on National Geographic. Mammals mate to make babies. We are mammals." he said matter-of-factly. He then continued eating. Addison looked at Derek, who was again trying not to laugh, and raised an eyebrow.
"Apollos has always been very mature for his age." Addison said.
"Sometimes too mature. What did you tell the other two?" Derek asked.
"I told them you had to leave town for a little while. It isn't exactly like they are old enough to really understand what I did." she said, pointedly. "Khaliel must have figured out on his own that it was something between us because I never told him we had a fight."
"We do have some pretty smart kids." Derek said. It was during this sentence that Meredith entered the room.
"Kids?" she yelled.
"Meredith.." Derek whispered. This was not how he had wanted her to find out. Addison immediately put it together who this petite, blonde woman was.
"Hi, I don't think we have been introduced. Addison Shepherd." she said in her best Montgomery voice, putting her hand out in greeting. Meredith just stared at her. "You must be the woman who is screwing my husband."
Just then, all 3 kids walked back into the room.
"Daddy, I got Goldfish!" Ellie exclaimed, excitedly. Meredith looked at the 3 Shepherd children. She couldn't believe Derek had basically done to his children what her father had done to her.
"You are not the man I thought you were." Meredith spat at Derek. She turned on her heels and left.
All 3 Shepherd children quietly looked from one parent to the other. Addison stared at Derek icily. She was beginning to understand everyone else's reaction to the kids and her. It was obvious Derek had not told anyone he was married or had kids.
"Children, it is time for Daddy to get some more sleep. Let's go find Adele." Addison commanded.
"But I want to stay with Daddy." Ellie said, trying to fight off tears.
"Princess, your mommy is right. I need to get some sleep so I can get stronger." Derek said, squeezing his daughter's hand.
"You can come see your father again tomorrow." Addison said. She left the room without a further word. All 3 children followed her silently.
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Meredith tore down the hallway and bursted into the stairwell. Christina and Izzie saw her and ran after her.
"Mer, what is wrong?" Christina asked her distraught friend.
"Those kids WERE Derek's." Meredith choked out. "And his wife is Addison Shepherd."
"As in THE Dr. Addison Shepherd?" Izzie asked amazed. Of course all of them had read articles by Addison Shepherd. Meredith and Christina glared at her.
"What? She is a really amazing neonatal surgeon, something I happen to be interested in." Izzue said back.
"I just want to be alone." Meredith exclaimed, running down the stairs.
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After the children left with Adele, Addison decided to take a walk outside. She was so livid with Derek, she couldn't go back to his room. He really hadn't told anyone about her or the kids? She knew things were screwed up between them, and had been for awhile, but to completely deny his kids?! Who does that? But then again, she had cheated on her husband with his best friend. Who does that?! Maybe she didn't have any right to be angry with Derek.
It was then Addison saw Meredith sitting on a bench, staring out into space. The girl looked completely distraught. Once again, Addison was left to clean up Derek's messes.
"Meredith, do you mind if I sit down?" she asked cautiously. Meredith gave her a slight nod. Both women sat there quietly for a few minutes.
"I didn't know." Meredith said quietly.
"I know. I am so sorry you found out the way you did." Addison said. She began to fidget with her rings without thinking. Meredith stared down at them.
"How long have you guys been married?" she asked curiously.
"It will be 14 years on August 6th, so I guess that means in about a week." Addison said in disbelief. She had totally forgotten their anniversary was around the corner. Again both women were silent.
"Look, Meredith. I don't what Derek was thinking when you two started, uh, doing whatever you have been doing. Or why he didn't tell you about his family. You will have to ask him that." Addison started slowly. "But you should know that the reason Derek left was because he walked in on me, uh, cheating on him with his best friend." Now Addison was the one who was staring off into space.
"That doesn't give him an excuse to leave his children behind." Meredith said, angrily. Addison was surprised at the girl's response. Clearly there was more to it than she knew.
"As I said, you will have to talk to him about that. But, I just thought you deserved to know." Addison said, standing up. "I would ask that you not come around when the kids are in the room though. They already have had a really rough it is."
"I get that. None of it is their fault." Meredith said sadly. Addison looked at the intern quizzically for a moment, and then walked away.
Addison slowly made her way back to her husband's room. While she was still frustrated and confused, she knew that she would have to push those feelings aside. There were more important things to deal with at the moment. The Montgomery training was really coming in handy the last few days.
Addison was glad to find Derek asleep when she entered the room. She knew he was still on some pretty heavy pain killers. He needed sleep, and she needed to cool off. She sat down in a chair and decided to send a text to Nancy to update her. She purposely left out the fact that Derek hadn't mentioned his children or wife to his mistress. Addison also went through her other emails and texts that had been piling up with messages from concerned family and friends.
An hour later, Derek woke up and asked Addison for some water. She got up and filled his water bottle and helped him get a drink.
"Do you feel like some food?" she asked. "I know you are still on a liquid diet at the moment, but I could ask them for some broth or something."
"That would be nice. Thanks." Derek said. He was starting to feel more of the pain and grimaced when he tried to move. Addison looked at him with concern before she went to the nurses station to request some broth be brought up to Derek's room.
"Would you like to sit up a little?" Addison asked him.
"I think I could handle having the bed raised a little. Maybe not too much. You know, since, as Ellie put it, I broke my butt." he said with a small smile. Addison too smiled as she helped Derek raise the bed a little.
"How is your pain level?" she asked as if addressing a patient.
"Maybe a 3." he said vaguely. Addison raised an eyebrow at him. "Ok, maybe a 5." he conceded.
"Which actually means more like a 7 or 8." Addison responded crossing her arms. She knew how stubborn Derek was when it came to admitting pain.
"I'm ok for now," he replied. Addison shrugged her shoulders. If he wanted to be in pain, she wasn't going to argue with him.
A candy striper brought in a tray with some broth for Derek and helped him get set up.
"Thank you." they both told the young girl as she left the room.
For the most part, Derek could feed himself, but as it kept dripping on the bed, Addison eventually just fed him.
"It's been awhile since I have had to spoon feed anyone." Addison teased him. Derek gave her a small smile.
"Yeah. Our strong, willed daughter refused to let us feed her starting at what, age 18 months?" Derek said, shaking his head.
"Something like that." Addison replied, setting the empty container down. She moved the tray out of the way and came back over to Derek's bedside. She looked at him questioningly but didn't say anything.
"What is it?" Derek finally asked her, getting a little knew that look. And it usually always led to an argument.
"Do you even want the kids and I here, Derek?" she blurted out. He looked at her in surprise.
"Why would you think otherwise?" he asked, confused.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you didn't even tell your girlfriend about us." she yelled, turning away from the bed.
"Addison." Derek started but then he cried out in pain. Addison came rushing over to the bed.
"Are you ok?" she asked in concern. Derek gave her a tight lipped nod as he laid back. He had moved too quickly.
"I'm sorry, Derek. I shouldn't have said anything." Addison said with regret. Derek took a few deep breaths.
"It's ok." he said slowly, still clearly in a lot of pain. "Yes, I want the children here." Addison noticed he did not mention her. She just looked at him for a few minutes.
"I spoke with a divorce lawyer last week." Addison said softly slumping down into the chair. Derek just looked at her. "If you want to get a divorce, Derek,. Just tell me."
"Is that what you want?" he asked looking at her rejected stance. He also noticed that she was biting her lip and turning her face. This was her telltale sign of trying not to cry. It has been years since she had tried to hide tears in front of him. He may borderline hate her right now for what she did, but it still gutted him to see her like this. It reminded him of all the stories he had heard throughout the years of her as a little girl being reprimanded for crying.
"No." was all she said. Neither said anything for a long time.
Richard eventually came by to see how things were going. "Are you staying here tonight?" he asked Addison quietly as Derek was asleep again.
"No. The kids need me." she sighed. Richard looked at her with concern. He knew something had happened between the couple, but didn't feel it was his place to ask.
"I am leaving in about 30 minutes. Meet me in the lobby?" Richard asked her. She nodded in assent before Richard left the room.
Addison sat in the chair next to Derek's bed and just watched him sleep a while longer. She couldn't remember the last time she had had so much time to just sit and think. She kept remembering the early days with Derek and having a young family. They had been carefree and playful. When did things change? When had they drawn apart?
When it was time for her to make her way to the lobby, Addison stood up over Derek. She leaned over and gave him a light kiss.
"Derek, I really hope you decide not to get a divorce. You are the love of my life. I am so sorry for what I did." she said, close to tears. It was so easy to talk to him like this when he was asleep. With that, she left the room to go meet Richard.
What Addison didn't know was that Derek was not fully asleep. He had heard every word she said. He stared at the door his wife had just exited. She still loved him, but did he still love her? He groaned inwardly. He didn't know what to do.
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Later that night, Meredith decided it was time to confront Derek. She cautiously walked up to his room to see if he was awake. When she saw that he was, she walked up to the bed, crossed her arms, and just looked at him.
"I owe you an explanation." Derek said quietly.
"Ya, think!" Meredith said icily. Both were quiet for a little while. "Your wife talked to me. She told me what happened in New York." Meredith said. Derek looked at her in surprise.
"She did?" he said. "What did she say?" he asked curiously.
"She told me she cheated on you." Meredith said simply. She noticed that Derek looked away in agony.
"She did." He said slowly. "With my best friend."
"That doesn't change the fact that you lied to me." Meredith retorted. "Did you even have any contact with your kids at all these last 6 weeks?"
"No." he said ashamed. "I never meant to let it go this long. I just needed space. I needed to clear my head."
"So what was I to you? A palate cleanser?" Meredith asked angrily.
"No. You were a breath of fresh air. I felt like I was drowning, and then I met you. That is all I know." Derek said as he looked at her sadly.
"Do you still love her?" Meredith asked him point blank.
"Honestly, I don't know. I have so much anger with her right now, but I also have a lot of good memories." he replied.
"And you have 3 kids." Meredith pointed out.
"And we have 3 kids." Derek said, looking away again.
"Derek, I think you should try to work things out with Addison." Meredith said quietly.
"You do?" he said in surprise. This was the last thing he expected to hear.
"You need to at least try. For the kids. I know what it is like to grow up without a father." she said sadly. "Good-bye Derek." she said standing up.
"Good-bye Meredith." he said. She turned and left the room. They both noticed that he never tried to fight for her to stay.
Derek was awake off and on all night. The pain meds didn't allow for him to be awake for too long, but when he was, he kept thinking of his family. He knew Meredith was right. He owed it to the kids to try and make it work. Now if he could just figure out what in the hell caused Addison to sleep with Mark.
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