Hey. First I really want to say thank you for all the comments this story has received! I am really happy!
I want to clarify some things now...
I noticed that some readers were concerned about the introduction of Addex. Even though Addison and Alex may somehow become involved, this story is Addek and nothing is going to change that.
I know this chapter is not going to please you and I understand that, but I feel that any relationship only works when there is 100% honesty between the parties involved.
I hope I got Derek's tone right in this chapter, I based it on the episodes where he treated Addie badly and also when he was mad at Mer for the Alzheimer's research.
Having said all that, I wish you a good reading and feel free to comment, even if it's to fight with me. :)
AAAAA
She hears the intercom ring for the third time and practically drags herself out of the bathroom. When answering she is not surprised to know who wants to enter her room so early, after a second of hesitation, she agrees.
A few minutes later, Addison is opening the door to na anxious Derek who speaks already entering.
"I was worried, the phone rang three times."
"Sorry, I was..."
She points in the direction of the bathroom and doesn't need to elaborate, her slightly green skin does the rest. Approaching her, he touches her cheek and asks softly.
"Are you well?"
"I am. It's normal."
He nods and speaks with a smile, handing her the package.
"I brought ginger soda, I know it helps."
"Thanks."
Derek just nods and then she furrows her brows.
"Did you come here just for that?"
"No. I also came to apologize for yesterday."
"No need to apologize. I understand it wasn't your fault."
"It wasn't what it looked like yesterday."
"Blame it on hormones."
She jokes making him laugh, but then speaks in a serious tone.
"I understand it wasn't your fault, really."
"Thanks."
Another moment of silence passes between them and then Addison speaks.
"I need to get dressed for work now, if you've told me everything."
"I will wait for you."
"It is not necessary."
"I insist. If you're going to be the target of stares and gossip, I'll be there for you."
"If you're with me, the looks and gossip will double..."
"You're not going to make me give up, Addie."
Addison rolls her eyes, but doesn't feel energetic enough to argue. So it offers:
"Wait here while I get ready."
So the redhead disappears into the bathroom.
Derek sits in na armchair, taking in the surroundings that Addison now calls home. He just hates it. Living in a lonely hotel doesn't suit Addison, it doesn't suit the person she's become despite her horrible upbringing. He considers suggesting again that she find another place to live where she will be more comfortable during her pregnancy, but decides to wait a while, knowing that she is already under pressure.
It takes less than expected for Addison to come back ready. And she's already talking.
"We need to speak with Richard."
"I know. He'll understand."
"He must be mad that we bring new gossip to the hospital."
"Then he must only be mad at me. It was all my fault."
"I won't argue about it."
Addison speaks in a light tone, but Derek knows she's still upset with him. He prepares to resume this conversation, but the redhead grabs her purse and nods towards the door, he has no choice but to follow her.
When they reach the car, Derek takes Addison's arm, she turns to him with curious eyes. Derek lets out a deep breath before admitting:
"I'm sorry for what Meredith did. I had a really bad conversation with her after you left yesterday. I swear I really believed she was mature enough to keep it private."
"I was really mad at you yesterday, but then I calmed down. I'm upset because I didn't want anyone to know yet, but I understood that it wasn't your fault."
Derek smiles at her words and leans down to kiss her forehead. Addison doesn't complain about the display of affection. He then unlocks the car and opens the door for her.
AAAAA
As expected, their arrival at Seattle Grace is a festival of stares and whispers that both men do their best to ignore. They go straight to Richard's room where Patricia authorizes entry.
The boss is sitting behind the table with na unfriendly face and he makes a sign for the two to sit down as soon as he sees them at the door.
Addison and Derek sit across from their boss, awkwardly. Richard just crosses his arms in front of his chest and asks:
"So the rumors I've been hearing since yesterday are true?"
"Yes." Addison speaks with her eyes downcast and full. "You would be the first person to know, but I didn't plan on telling until the end of the first quarter."
Richard nods and asks, staring at Derek.
"And what happened?"
"Meredith found out and told Cristina... After that the story spread."
Derek speaks in the same embarrassed tone used by Addison. Richard shakes his head negatively and ponders for a few moments before speaking:
"I'm so sorry you had your life exposed like that, Addie. And
Employees at this hospital have a lot to learn about respecting others' privacy."
"Thanks."
"That said, I want to congratulate you and assure you that you can count on me for whatever it takes."
As he says that, Richard stands up, Addison and Derek do the same and then the older man pulls them into a hug.
After they leave, Richard dismisses them.
"Now ignore the gossip and go save lives!"
Addison and Derek just nod before walking out of the office together.
Outside, Addison speaks after a sigh.
"It was easier than I thought."
"That's because you've been Richard's star since residency."
Addison doesn't answer, but she doesn't hold back a smug smile. Derek lets out a small laugh and asks.
'Do you have surgery now?'
"No. I'm going to evaluate some preemies now in the NICU."
"Okay. I'll get your breakfast."
"I already told you that you don't have to keep doing this."
"And I already told you I'm going to do it anyway."
Derek gives her a mcdreamy smile and puts his hand on her back guiding her to the elevator.
AAAAA
Once she arrives at the NICU, Addison is surprised to find Mark looking at the babies. He stares at her with stone eyes and she takes a deep breath before entering the room. Mark immediately pierces her with the question.
"And truth?"
"AND."
"And I got to hear that from a nurse I'm having sex with just this week?"
"Mark, I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to know like this. I wasn't ready to tell you yet."
"Our baby could have been born yesterday. Who knows today?"
"I know. And you know how sorry I am about that, but you also know that we wouldn't have worked out, that it wasn't a good idea to have a child together at that time."
"But now, newly divorced from Derek is a good time isn't it? Assume it was my son who wasn't good enough for you."
Addison swallows hard as tears gather in her eyes. She approaches Mark and speaks in the most controlled tone she can muster.
"You don't know how hard making that decision was for me. And you are definitely being unfair to me."
"But what's the other explanation, redhead?"
"The explanation is that we weren't a good couple, you wouldn't have been a good father and I didn't want my son to have a father like mine."
She confesses as she feels her resolve begin to wane. The conversation being physically and emotionally draining. Mark's cheeks burn as he raises his voice:
"So you thought it fair that I paid for your traumas? That I didn't have the chance to be a father because yours was bad?"
"I just did what was right at the time."
"You destroyed the only good thing that ever happened to me and I'm still in love with you."
After saying that he gives her a hurt look and starts to leave, only to find Derek walking in. The two glare at each other and then Mark leaves.
Addison swallows down the bile that rises in her throat, but suddenly a wave of exhaustion hits her, she feels her knees give way and she can't find her balance. To the redhead's surprise, her arms reach her waist and hold her steady, a voice she recognizes very well speaks in her ear, a tone of concern audible.
"Addie, talk to me! What's up?!"
"I just…tired."
She speaks in a low voice. Derek slowly turns her around and leads her out of the NICU, squeezing her waist firmly and placing her on a bed in na on-call room. As soon as she lies down, Addison curls up into a ball, turning her back to Derek. He sits on the bed and squeezes her shoulder asking worriedly:
"Are you okay?"
"Uhum. I just felt tired. I'll be fine."
"You need to eat." Derek says taking the sandwich from his lab coat pocket. Addison declines, claiming to be nauseous. The neurosurgeon asks bluntly:
"What did he say to you?"
"What?"
"Mark. I met him coming out of the NICU. And he had a look I've seen very few times on his face."
"Anything."
"Addison, come on tell me."
"Put it down, Derek!"
"Speak Addison!"
Derek makes the impatience clear in his voice.
At that moment Addison feels the barrier she built break and speaks already releasing a hiccup.
"I had na abortion!"
Derek feels his stomach sink. He looks at her trying to assimilate her words. Addison sits on the bed but continues to avoid his eyes as she talks nervously.
"You left. I stayed with him, I found out I was pregnant, but I couldn't carry a pregnancy at that moment... I wasn't going to tell him, but I ended up telling him and the next day I had na abortion."
She stops talking and takes a deep breath. When she's no use she exclaims.
"I'm going to be sick!"
The phrase snaps Derek out of his trance and he immediately grabs a nearby trash can holding it at Addison's level. The redhead dumps what little is left in her stomach into the trash can and then lays back on the pillows feeling her body weak again.
Derek puts the trash can back in its place and gets as far away from the bed as he can. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration and soon hears Addison's voice again.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
"What do you want me to say?! I can barely look at you right now, Addison!"
"Derek, please...I...It happened."
"It happened! He was there! Are you going to use that kind of excuse your whole life?!"
"I'm very sorry!"
"You got pregnant by another man while you were still married to me, Addison! Being sorry doesn't even begin to smooth things over!"
The anger in his voice makes her shudder, and she tries again.
"I don't know what to say… I'm just so sorry."
"I know you have low moral standards because of your upbringing, but this? I can't believe I'm going to have a child with someone who doesn't have the slightest sense of right and wrong!"
Tears flow even harder from her, his words hitting her hard. Yet she continues to justify herself.
"I didn't want to. I did what I did so I could be with you, to give our marriage another chance!"
"That doesn't negate the fact that the man I thought of as my brother got you pregnant!"
"But I just wanted kids with you, Derek!"
"Then don't spread your legs for another man!"
He sees the hurt that crosses her face and he runs his hands through his hair, takes a few deep breaths to calm himself. When he feels calmer, Derek speaks.
"I'm going to leave before I say any more things that your look is going to make me feel guilty about. Get some rest and eat your sandwich, the baby needs it."
"Derek, won't..."
"I'm going to call Torres to stay with you."
"No need. I'll be fine."
Addison claims taking a firm stand as she wipes away a tear. Derek just nods before turning and storming out the door.
Addison just drags herself out of bed, she locks the door and then curls up in a ball again and lets the tears out.
As he leans back against the newly closed door, Derek is surprised to see a small crowd gathered in the hall, obviously hearing every word being shouted in the on-call room. He gives everyone a death stare, before scurrying the other way, Meredith immediately emerges from the crowd, going after him.
AAAA
Derek walks with long strides until he finds na empty conference room, where he enters slamming the door behind him. Seconds later, Meredith walks in a little out of breath, she closes the door more calmly and then lowers the curtains to give her ex some privacy.
At that moment Derek looks away from the outside window and turns towards the blonde asking irritably.
"What do you want?!"
"I came to see how you are."
"How much did you hear? How much did everyone else hear?!"
"Enough, Derek. And I'm sorry."
Derek runs a hand through his already messy hair. Meredith approaches cautiously and pats his arm as she nods.
"You need to calm down."
"How do you want me to calm down? The betrayal I suffered was even worse than I expected."
"I know, but staying like this won't help anything."
Derek knows she's right, he takes a few deep breaths and then pulls her into a tight hug. The hug lasts long seconds and when they pull away, Derek caresses her face asking.
"Do you understand now why I need you?"
"Derek, please..."
"You weren't the one who broke up my marriage, Meredith. It was broken long before that ball. You were the one who saved me."
"And the baby?"
"I'm going to be a present father, but I'm going to make my son understand that it's not you who takes me away from Addison. My son will never see you as the person who destroyed his family, I promise."
"I don't know if I'm ready to face all of this. The stares, the gossip, you being close to Addison..."
"I don't mind stares and gossip. Now everyone knows everything about my marriage ending, everyone knows it's her fault. I need you, you're my breath of fresh air."
He speaks vulnerable and Meredith smiles remembering the conversation they had months before. She caresses Derek's cheek and then leans in for a soft kiss. When they move away she hugs him and affirms.
"This is your last chance."
"I won't need another one." Derek whispers in her ear and squeezes her even tighter in his arms.
AAAA
Addison is locked in the on-call room for nearly two hours, psychologically preparing herself to leave. She can't imagine what Derek must be thinking after all, she can't even understand how it all played out. Knowing she can't hide forever, Addison gets up, she sends a page to her resident advising him to prep the next patient for surgery. Afterwards, Addison eats a few bites of the sandwich brought by Derek and decides to go to the bathroom to make herself presentable.
As she walks through the halls, Addison feels the judgmental gazes her way. Figuring that everyone is already aware of her confession, she decides to just ignore it, walking with her head held high.
When Addison walks into the scrub room, a few nurses whisper and glare at her. Addison flinches at this point, but just finishes washing her hands and walks into the operating room. As soon as the redhead enters, two more nurses give her dirty looks and they leave the OR. Addison just takes a deep breath and nods, giving orders and starting the surgery.
AAAA
The day is over, Addison performs two successful surgeries while trying to block out the hostile treatment she receives from various hospital staff.
At the end of the shift Addison is stopped in the middle of the hallway by Alex Karev who surprises her by asking softly.
"Are you all right, Dr. Montgomery?"
"I am. It's nothing I can't get over."
"I know. But if you ever need someone to kick Shepherd's or Sloan's ass, just let me know."
Addison smiles, her first real smile of the day. She stares at the young man with bright eyes as she affirms.
"Thanks for that. I really appreciate someone speaking to me without hostility today."
"You are welcome."
Addison nods. At that moment she sees Derek walk across the hall, so she gives Alex's arm a gentle squeeze and hurries to catch up with her ex-husband.
As soon as she manages to get to his side, she asks.
"Derek, can we talk?"
"There's nothing I want to talk to you about, Dr. Montgomery."
"Derek, please..."
"Don't insist, Addison. I don't want to fight with you anymore today."
"I don't either, I just want to be able to explain."
She practically begs, which wears out the neurosurgeon's patience, who explodes:
"Understand once and for all that I don't want to talk to you! That there's nothing you can tell me that will change what happened and that I don't want to talk to you about anything other than my son anymore."
Tears immediately pool in her eyes and Derek has to look away just then. She then asks:
"Will you still want to be a part of our son's life?"
"Of course. Because someone has to save him from the bad influence of Forbes Montgomery."
Derek takes a cheap shot that makes her wince and before she can protest, she has her back to him and is hurrying towards the elevator.
Addison is frozen in place for a few moments trying to keep up her facade and not break down with her ex's words. Soon she regains her composure and hurries to finish her shift, knowing her room awaits her so she can cry all she needs to.
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