They were dead men.

Somehow, they had stayed in the bath past the designated hours for men and into the time for women. And then, as if the universe itself had conspired to bring about their demise, the girls from S.E.E.S. had entered the bath. The guys had been lucky, having a large rock to hide behind while they planned their escape, but one of them had made too much noise and the girls now had them surrounded.

"Uh, we, uh, um..." Junpei tried futilely to explain. None of the other guys - not Makoto, not Akihiko, not Ryoji - could hold it against him, given who they were dealing with. Mitsuru Kirijo, the so-called 'Queen of Executions', was not one to be crossed lightly. The three S.E.E.S. members among the boys knew how embarrassed Mitsuru could get when simply being complimented on her skin in a swimsuit. It hadn't been difficult for Makoto and Junpei to imagine how she might react if she thought someone might have been trying to see her entirely nude.

Akihiko, meanwhile, had seen it first-hand in the past. Pulling himself together to try to protect his kouhai (and himself) from his fellow third year's wrath, he quickly shouted, "W-Wait! Th-This is just a misunderstanding!"

Any resolve he had shrank into nothingness, however, as Mitsuru glared pure death his way. "Silence!" she screamed. "I'm going to execute you all!"

"May I give my assessment of the situation, Mitsuru-san?" Aigis interjected in her typical detached tone.

"What is there to assess!?" Yukari practically screeched at the gall of the robot girl. "They were in the bath during the time designated for women! What else could they have been doing?"

"I find it unlikely that they would have intentionally attempted to sneak into the hot spring to peep, especially in such a disadvantageous hiding spot as behind that rock, and with Mitsuru-san's famous executions as the risk for being caught. Generally, I believe they are not stupid enough to take such a foolhardy risk."

"You can't be serious!" Yukari shouted, stomping her foot in the water, seemingly making it hotter with her temper alone. "Stupei does stupid stuff all the time! He probably talked them into it!"

"Wha- Hey!" Junpei protested.

"Ryoji-kun's not much better, Makoto-kun just goes with the flow-"

"Hold on a second, Yukari," Mitsuru interrupted, her tone slightly more measured than it was before. "Aigis, continue."

"Yes. In my records, Akihiko-san had never shown an interest in the opposite sex, choosing to instead focus his attention on his training. Additionally, his general personality does not match the profile of a peeping tom."

"Fair point," Mitsuru conceded.

"Thank you, Aigis," Akihiko sighed.

"Likewise, Makoto-san is typically too disinterested in anything else, and displays little-to-no interest in girls."

Makoto nodded his thanks.

"Th-Then, what about Junpei!?" Yukari demanded. "He's definitely the type to peep on girls."

"Wha- What the hell, Yuka-tan!?"

"While he does match the typical personality type-"

"Hey!"

"He has matured significantly since his affair with Chidori Yoshino began. While he would have been a strong suspect before then, his recent growth in maturity and faithfulness to Yoshino-san make him seem unlikely to peep."

"Ai-chan..."

"Well... I guess you do have a point," Yukari admitted, deflated.

"Additionally, a lack of trust in the integrity of our teammates would reflect poorly on us, as they have more than earned the benefit of the doubt since joining S.E.E.S."

"Yeah, Ai-chan gets it," Junpei chimed in, slightly revived by her kind words.

"However, Ryoji Mochizuki remains suspect. He-"

"That's enough, Aigis," Mitsuru said before Aigis' clear bias could show any further. "You raise some valid points. It would be unfair of us to let our emotions get the better of us and not give the boys a chance to explain themselves. Akihiko, please, explain."

"R-Right. We were soaking in the bath for a while and, without our watches or phones, the only way we'd know the switchover had happened would be if someone came in to tell us. But no one did. So, we were still in here when the switchover happened and you girls came in. As soon as we heard you come in, we tried to leave, and that's when you caught us."

"And none of you tried to peep on us?" Mitsuru asked, eyeing Junpei and Ryoji in particular.

"Hell no!" Junpei responded, offended at the continued insinuations. "We were too busy trying to spot a way out to see anything, even if we wanted to!"

"Oh, come on!" Yukari whined. "That's the biggest load of- Who would ever believe such a thing?"

"I believe them," Aigis responded.

"Of course you would," Yukari scoffed. "If it involves Makoto-kun, you're always on his side."

"That is not the reason. Akihiko-san's body showed none of the tell-tale signs of lying. And aside from an accelerated heartrate from a spike in his emotional distress, Junpei-san is also displaying no signs of dishonesty."

"Your circuits must be fried. This-"

"Yukari," Mitsuru interjected sternly, silencing the brunette. "I understand your frustration with this situation, but you are allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment. Aigis' reason is entirely sound, and there is a simple method to deduce their honesty."

"How?"

"I will have a word with the hotel staff regarding this gross incompetence. If they corroborate Akihiko's claims about no one coming to inform the male guests of the time change, we can trust that this was, indeed, an accident, with the assurance that they would never try anything like this, as they know what the consequences would be," she added with a threatening glare that washed over all four boys. "If there is a discrepancy in their stories, however..." Mitsuru stopped short of making any threats and took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Well, we will simply cross that bridge if and when we get to it."

"Fine," Yukari grumbled.

"Yamagishi, come with me, please."

"O-Okay," Fuuka said, having been silent since catching the boys in the first place.

"The rest of you, get dressed and return to the waiting area. I expect you all to be there when we've finished meeting with the staff."

Nobody could object to Mitsuru's commands.

As she had ordered, Yukari, Aigis and the four boys were dressed and waiting for Mitsuru and Fuuka upon their return. "How did it go?" Yukari asked upon spotting the two. The boys all tensed up.

"I confirmed that a member of staff was supposed to enter the bath to give a time warning, but he had fallen asleep before then. It seems all of the staff have been overworked dealing with more school trips than just our own. He apologised profusely for the inconvenience and will be reprimanded for his mistake. As for you four..."

To everyone's shock and amazement, Mitsuru bowed deeply.

"I apologise. I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and rushed to dole out a punishment instead of giving you all a chance to explain yourselves. It was immature and unfair, and as Aigis said, you all deserve the benefit of the doubt after everything we've been through this past year."

"Ryoji Mochizuki has not-"

Fuuka put a hand on Aigis' shoulder to stop her accusation in its tracks.

"We're at fault too," Akihiko said, standing and bowing just as deeply. "Going into the bath this late wasn't the brightest move, and as the senior here, I should have put my foot down to prevent this. Th-That's not a jab at you, by the way-"

"I know," Mitsuru replied with a slight smile. "We both still have some growing to do, it seems. Does anyone else want to take this opportunity to get anything off their chest?"

"Yeah," Yukari sighed. "I'm sorry too. Especially to you, Junpei. Like Mitsuru-senpai said, I let my emotions cloud my judgment. After having some time to cool off and think it over, Aigis was right. You guys wouldn't do that. You know I'd kill you if you did."

"'sall good, Yuka-tan," Junpei shrugged with his usual laid-back smile. "Long as it all got cleared up, we're cool."

Yukari smiled. "Thanks, Junpei."

"I... I didn't see anything when I caught you!" Fuuka suddenly exclaimed. "So... you don't have to feel embarrassed or worry about me being traumatised by what I might have seen."

"Traumatised..." Ryoji repeated, having been the one Fuuka had first spotted. Makoto could have sworn he spotted Aigis smirking.

"Thanks, Aigis," Makoto spoke up.

"Yeah, your logical robot brain really saved the day," Junpei added.

"I must agree," Mitsuru concurred. "You kept us from making a grave mistake tonight. And speaking of, we should all get to bed. This whole ordeal has left me exhausted."

"Yeah, me too," Yukari said, stretching as she stood up. "I wish we could've gotten some time in the bath, though."

"I know a wonderful bathhouse back in Tatsumi," Fuuka said with a smile. "We can go there as a group."

"That sounds awesome, Fuuka."

"We'll make it separate trips," Akihiko suggested. "Don't want a repeat of what almost happened tonight."

"Agreed," Mitsuru said. "I think we've all learned something on this trip. That alone makes this all a worthwhile venture, in my book."

'Typical Mitsuru' was the general sentiment among her teammates, but none of them were quite brave enough to verbally express such a thought.

Persona hot springs scenes are universally trash. So, I want to present alternatives to them all that allow the characters to not succumb to bad anime tropes for the sake of a laugh that wasn't even funny the first time.