"Hey man, thanks for having my back in there. No hard feelings?"

"No, of course not. I'm a newbie, you're my senior… They wouldn't take me seriously anyway. I'm awful at giving presentations."

"Atta boy, I owe you one! Any ideas you might have in the future, come to me. I'll back you up, totally pro bono!"

I peered into the slimy snake's jade eyes.

"Sure thing."

Chapter 8: Cracked

I woke up in a cold sweat and took a few moments to ground myself. The sun had gone down and I was still in the nurse's office.

Of all the faces to remember clearly from my past life, of course it just had to be Tom's. Eugh. I rolled out the bed and lazily flopped to the floor like a seal.

The nurse glanced in my direction. "Have you tried using your legs, kiddo?"

I cleared my throat and scrambled to my feet, giving an awkward bow before leaving the room. I'd expected everyone to have long left the building, but when I entered the academy grounds I saw Naruto sitting alone on the swing.

"Uhh, hi," I said, clasping my arms.

"Is that all you have to say?" Naruto asked with an annoyed huff.

What are you, my girlfriend?

Based on past experience, I chose the safest response. "I'm… sorry?"

Naruto mumbled something mostly unintelligible except for the name Sasuke.

"What about Sasuke?" I asked, resisting the temptation to roll my eyes.

"We should go visit him," Naruto remarked, amping up my blood pressure. "He's one of us, now."

Were we a cult?

"An orphan," Naruto quickly added, having noticed my confusion. "You helped me when I was alone; We should help Sasuke too."

I rubbed my temples. All that effort restraining my better judgement, and the butterfly effect bit me in the ass anyway. Naruto would use his rhetorical skills to show Sasuke the light, and the whole future would be borked beyond recognition.

Then again, they were reincarnations of the sage's kids. Weren't they destined to battle each other no matter what Naruto did? It was probably for the best to check in with Sasuke and make sure fated events remained as they should.

"Okay Naruto, I'll come visit him with you," I relented, to which Naruto perked up and looked about ready to dash away. "Hold on a second! We can't just barge in. We need to get an appointment and make sure he's allowed visitors."

"As if you care about following the rules," he responded with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "Quit stalling and let's just go!"

Darn, he saw straight through my tactics. At least Naruto didn't shout out and demand to be brought straight to Sasuke's room as soon as we stepped through the hospital's doors. Only after looking over my shoulder did I remember how meek he acted when confronting the general public.

I walked up to the standing desk, and looked up to the dull-eyed, brown haired ninja reading a newspaper. Since he did not react to my presence, I loudly cleared my throat and opened my mouth. "Pardon me, would it be possible for my friend and I to go visit our classmate, Sasuke Uchiha?"

The man dropped his magazine, glanced at the both of us, snorted, and went back to reading.

"Pardon me, {asshole}, how about you do your damn job, huh?" I hissed out. "Sasuke is our dear friend and my regular sparring partner. We will not leave before making sure he is healthy."

The desk-ninja clicked his tongue and sluggishly lowered his magazine back down as though it was the most strenuous thing in the word. Fixing me with a cold stare, "No." He then snapped the paper back in front of his face and blocked us from sight.

I felt indignant anger flare up behind me and Naruto shouted out before I could hold him back, "What do you mean no? You can't just turn us away! We'll get into that room one way or another, you better believe it!"

I internally cringed at Naruto's blatant declaration to disregard safety rules, while the desk-ninja crumpled the reading material in his hand, exuding aggressive intent. I'd felt much worse, so the meagre aura hardly affected me. Naruto with his large chakra reserves and years of withstanding resentful gazes also shrugged it off.

"Oi, what are you kids doing here?" asked a familiar voice from behind. "You better not have gotten injured again!"

I turned around and quickly explained the situation. "Kawasaki-sama, we were asking about our classmate, Sasuke Uchiha. He's recently been the subject of a terribly traumatic event and we wanted to try and cheer him up a bit."

Doctor Kawasaki ran his hand through his hair and looked at the now slightly meek-looking desk-shinobi. "Tokisa-san, even if it's these"–his gaze lingered on Naruto for a moment–"brats, that does not excuse your attitude in the slightest."

The man broke off eye contact with his superior and stared at the ground as he answered, "Yes, sir."

"Good," answered my favourite doctor. "You two, follow me. Your classmate just finished a lengthy conversation, so he should be awake."

When we reached the stairwell, doctor Kawasaki pulled us aside, "I'm only letting you see him because I'd prefer not to hear the alarms go off when you try and break in through a window during the night. You youngsters better not make me regret it."

Naruto stammered that he'd never do such a thing while I buried my face in my hands—he most definitely would have. Kawasaki then ferried us into the room, shutting the door behind us and leaving us alone with our classmate.

Sasuke looked so… broken. A man–a boy–with nothing left to lose. I could only imagine what he must have been picturing behind those empty eyes. All the hate, helplessness and anguish buried underneath a faint veneer of calm.

It was obvious to me that no matter what Naruto did, Sasuke's path of vengeance was already set in stone. How in the world this boy would be cleared for active duty boggled my mind. Forcefully retiring the last Uchiha must not have been an option.

Though it was fruitless, Naruto, ever the well-meaning kid, tip-toed up to him.

"Hey Sasuke, how do you feel?" asked Naruto in the softest voice I'd ever heard him use. Sasuke remained silent, his dead eyes looking straight past the blond. The young Uchiha's expression did not bear the slightest hint of acknowledgement.

Realising he wouldn't be getting a response, Naruto continued, "I just wanted to tell you that you can count on us. If you ever need anything—to talk or to fight or… well, need help—we'll be here." Naruto's voice gained a slight spark of energy and he delivered his final line with conviction, "Us orphans need to stick together."

That exclamation instantly sharpened Sasuke's gaze and for a moment I could both see and feel unrestrained rage flash across his face. "Don't you dare compare us! You have no idea what it's like. Don't pretend you know what I'm going through and don't ever talk to me like we're friends. I have a mission, and you're nothing but dead weight that'll drag me down into the mud long before I can complete it."

His declaration got me to snap out of my nervous stupor and I protectively stepped in front of my friend. Sasuke didn't even seem to notice me until I started to speak, "Just like we don't know what you're going through, you cannot know what we've been through either."

Sasuke shifted his dark gaze and spoke with a voice devoid of any emotional inflection, "Tell me then, have you ever planned murder?"

His eyes flashed crimson, and for the shortest moment I was whisked away into a different room. The picture of two freshly bloodied corpses was seared into my retinas as I stared at Fugaku and Mikoto's unmoving forms.

The image flickered and dissipated as suddenly as it had appeared, but even that brief moment of terror sufficed to knock me on my ass. Visions of a metal pole sticking through my leg and debris all around me jumped to the forefront of my mind. There was blood on my hands.

Naruto clasped Sasuke's shirt. "Hey, don't glare at Satoya like that! We came here to help you."

Sasuke didn't respond, shifting his focus back inwards and staring into nothingness. Naruto helped me get up. I forced my heart rate back under control and told him that we best leave. He glanced back at the haunted Sasuke, and regretfully agreed. On the way out we faced a grim-looking Kawasaki.

He'd clearly monitored the conversation. After ruefully shaking his head, likely knowing full well that the higher-ups of Konoha would push Sasuke back into the academy, he silently escorted us from the building.

Only weeks later did I understand how majorly Naruto and I had messed up. Sasuke had returned to usher in an entire new era of Uchiha dominance. And it was all thanks to unlocking the first tomoe of his Sharingan. He was actively using it, and had become practically untouchable in every respect.

This is all your fault, Satoya.

How? How did it happen? Was it my training with Sasuke? Was it our hospital visit? If this changed, what else might? Would Sasuke wind up killing Naruto at the valley of the end? The massacre should have marked the beginning of my peaceful Academy life and the end of my worries. It was supposed to be over!

And yet, I still spent night after night lying awake in worry. Watching the clock ticking away until I'd once again be faced with my failures.

7:00 am.

I took a few steadying breaths and smacked my head against the bedpost. The pain motivated me to get started with my morning exercise. The wound dripped on the floor, but I hardly noticed it over the sound of deep breaths and rushing blood.

I was too weak. The Akatsuki, Nagato, Obito, Madara…

Although I spent much of my free time practising and made sure to listen and follow our teachers' advice, it simply could not compare to the time, resource, and technique advantage my future foes had over me. As good as our academy teachers may have been–Iruka was unironically one of the best instructors I'd ever had–they would never be enough to close the gap. It would take another five years at least, before I finally got my hands on the Shadow Clone technique and could truly propel my skills. And that was assuming I hadn't already ruined the plot point of Naruto stealing the scroll of seals.

I finished up my routine and wiped the sweat from my body. My eyes scanned my wall of drawings as I walked past my book-littered desk and stepped into the bathroom. What frivolous pastimes, idiot Satoya.

The shower's cold water splashing against the self-inflicted wound on my forehead helped clear my mind. What had I truly affected so far?

Naruto was a far better student than he originally had been, but with Kakashi's connection to him and Sasuke he'd likely still wind up in Team seven. Sasuke always had been rookie of the year, so making him even more competent thanks to the Sharingan wouldn't change his placement, and Sakura would probably stay top Kunoichi too.

Though hearing "Sasuke wins" multiple times per day was starting to get old, especially with Naruto's still on-going rivalrous declarations. At least they were still on good enough terms to give each other the seal of reconciliation after their duels. The original Naruto would have doubtlessly kept on fighting instead of accepting the loss.

Another thing you've gone and changed.

Hell, what if his politeness meant less people advanced past the first chunin exam stage? And what would that do to the following rounds? People might get killed by Gaara or Orochimaru who hadn't originally.

At this point I couldn't even be sure my foreknowledge was worth anything at all.

What a damn mess you've made.

"Shut up," I muttered to nobody.

I still knew of Tobito's plan. I still knew about the Akatsuki's abilities. I could still save Jiraiya, Sasuke—

Save people? What the fuck are you on about now? The only one who needs saving is you!

I slapped my cheeks. I've definitely been spending too much time inside my own head recently. Saving myself was the true goal, but if I could also lighten Naruto's load by even the slightest amount, help out my dear friend when he needed it, wasn't that the least an extra like me could do?

Big words for someone who can hardly stick a leaf to their face. Saving yourself should be your first, and only priority!

I glared at the laceration on my forehead.

Quit thinking you're the main character. You're just a leaf to be swept up by the coming storm.

My view flicked down to my angry, silver eyes. I'd worked hard damnit! It was a testament to my devotion that chakra merely tingled a bit as it travelled along my network, that I could manipulate it at all.

It's not about that.

I let out a huff. This conversation was getting old. Ever since that hospital visit it'd been circling my mind like a satellite, always ending the same way:

It was fated to happen, and it's arrogant to think you could have changed anything.

"And yet, I find that reasoning lacking."

I'd stood by as a clan got wiped out. I stood by as a poor child got tortured in a genjutsu. I knowingly condemned him to years of violent revenge.

It was necessary! Who knows what havoc the survival of the Uchiha could have wrought upon the canonical timeline!?

And here it was. The true core of the issue. I… didn't want to change anything. I only wanted to coast along, safe and secure in my knowledge of events.

I rubbed my forehead. What did I truly aim for? What did Satoya want to do with his life? Was I still Jonathan, or someone different? I'd always longed for success. I wished to rise above the masses. Jonathan had too, once. Why had I lost that spark?

You damn well know why.

I knew exactly what a pathetic pushover Jonathan Golsby had been. How, instead of standing up for himself, he drowned in self pity before nuking his own career with petty revenge.

And that's exactly why taking things into your own hands fails.

No! That was precisely why you should have stood up for yourself! I—Satoya—knew this to be true. Dreaming for things to change, hoping for everything to work out was foolish. Canon never had a Akuma Nakao, never mentioned any Yuu Ogura and most definitely never whispered any word of Satoya Ibui. If I couldn't change anything, then why expect us to survive? If destiny was predetermined, why struggle at all?

Be honest, those two are just pawns to ensure your own survival. Stepping stones to get into a genin team. You're only tricking yourself into caring about them.

I gripped the sink while anger roiled in my gut with no place to go. Stupid Jonathan and his damned book smarts, his accursed canon knowledge, and pragmatic outlook.

He was wrong. Why should I listen to some idiot who did nothing with his life but wallow in misery and let himself get crushed? I wasn't him, and never would be. I wouldn't repeat past mistakes. There was no use sitting idly by, waiting for the end. Canon timeline be damned, I'd repent for my sins and help Sasuke no matter how hard that brat resisted. I would protect all the ones dear to me. Today marked the day I'd truly embrace my new lease on life.

The mirror image laughed at me. "How adorably naive, acting like you're some hotshot anime protagonist. You really think you'll just swoop in and save the day with the power of friendship?"

Without taking a moment to reflect on my thoughts, I punched against the glass. Blood ran along the mirror's cracks and defiant eyes peeked out behind the fractures.

Idiot. This isn't some Jekyll and Hyde crap. I'm just a figment of your own psyche. I'm the truth you dearly wish to deny.

I eyed my broken counterpart. "You already ruined your own life, Jonathan. Why must you insist on ruining mine?"

The reflection remained silent.

What the hell are you waiting for, Satoya? It's just… me. Any response is my own. These intrusive thoughts weren't something I could just mystically exorcise. There would be no 'beating' myself into submission.

My shoulders slumped. Enough with the bluster. What was I even angry about? Things had been going well, had they not? I had friends, a good education, and superpowers. Hell, I should have been giddy, not moping around.

Things couldn't go on like this.

For what felt like the hundredth time, I rinsed my wounds in the sink and wrapped them up. Entering the hallway in front of my apartment felt like I was walking straight to my doom. Dragging my feet all the way, I finally closed in on Naruto's front door and softly knocked against the wood.

I was surprised how quickly the door opened. "Hey I heard something break, are you—OH my gosh, Satoya!" Naruto grabbed my wrist and held the bandaged hand up for inspection. Some flecks of blood had trickled through the fabric and dyed the surface. "What did you do!?"

"Naruto, I… There's something I need to tell you. Can I come in?"

"Sure thing, should I make some tea?"

I shook my head, but Naruto readied the kettle anyway. As the water boiled, I took a seat on his couch and collected my thoughts. "So, there's something you should know,"—Idiot Satoya, you already said that!—"That thing with Sasuke's family— No, first I need to say something in general. I have a psychological problem."

Naruto blinked. "What's a psy-cho-lo-gi-cal problem?"

I chuckled halfheartedly. "It's uh… I have a problem in my mind. Like, you know how you can get physically hurt? It's like that but mental." And now I realised that maybe relying on a child for help wasn't the greatest idea. "You know what, nevermind. I shouldn't burden you with this."

I was about to retreat, but Naruto stood up and blocked my path. "Hey, don't start acting like Sasuke! Tell me what's wrong. You always seem worried and then brush me off!"

I tried getting past him, but he wrapped around me to hold me in place. His hug—though probably not intended as one—relieved some of my nervous tension. "I'm scared, Naruto. Scared about being too weak and about what awaits us in the future."

"Satoya, you don't need to worry about that! I'll be the bestest ninja ever and keep you safe. Everyone else too, we can look out for each other!"

"No, Naruto, you don't get it!" I responded, shoving him back with more heat than intended. "Think about how easily Itachi did what he did. What if something like that happens again? What am I meant to do? What can any of us do?"

"But there's no way we could have known about that, Satoya. Itachi was—"

"I knew," I interrupted, wincing at the admission. "Itachi and Shisui, they thought they were being sneaky about it, but I sensed them worry constantly. When Shisui died—when Itachi told me to stay out of things—I knew he was planning something."

Naruto must have been gaping in shock, though I didn't see it since I was resolutely looking anywhere but his face.

"We need to tell Sasuke," Naruto said, and my head snapped back to attention.

"We can't! I can't tell anyone," I pleaded. "Itachi warned me to stay away. There must have been some greater reason behind his actions. I think Shisui died for the same reason. I don't—I won't endanger us with this!"

Naruto cocked his head as he placed a mug of green tea in my hand. "You think Jiji can't help? I'm sure we can trust him."

That couldn't be further from the truth. "No, I don't think we can. If he could protect us, why wouldn't Itachi have gone to him? Itachi was smart. He wouldn't have acted like this if he didn't think it was the only way"—I took a frantic sip and almost burnt my tongue—"And I know he wasn't just crazy because he warned me. He left Sasuke alive! Why would he do either of those things?"

"You think Jiji had something to do with it?" Naruto asked.

I know he did.

I kept those words to myself. "No, not necessarily. He must have known about it though, and for some reason wasn't able to interfere."

Naruto eased me into a seat at his dinner table. "I still think we should at least tell Sasuke that Itachi warned you."

"No! We—" I held my tongue. "Somehow I'll mess things up and we'll both be in danger. If I bury my nose too far into things I'll wind up ruining our lives. Your life."

"Did you think that when we first met?" asked Naruto.

I didn't even pause to blink. "Yes."

His mouth clicked shut. He hadn't expected that response. "Kay, but did it actually happen?"

Maybe? "Not yet."

"See! We're all happy to know you. Even Sasuke, though that bastard would never admit it."

"I…"—I took another sip of tea—"making you happy doesn't mean I'm good for you."

"I think I understand what you mean by psychological problem now," Naruto said, sagely nodding his head. "Let's talk to Iruka."

"Why him?"

"Because class starts soon and he told us we should go to him if we need help," Naruto said like it was obvious—which, to be fair, it was if I'd been in a better headspace.

I downed the rest of my drink, and obediently followed my friend to school.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: Three blonds and a brunet were sitting in a room. The eldest blond commented that this wasn't what he expected when he heard his daughter brought friends from school.

"They're Shikamaru's friends," Ino clarified. "Iruka told me I should bring them to you."

The eldest blond forced a laugh because the situation was so funny. Okay no, it wasn't funny. I was terrified, because right now I sat face to face with Konoha's head of Analysis—a reincarnator's worst nightmare.

The man gave Naruto and me a measured look, eventually settling his pupil-less gaze on me. "I take it this is about the Uchiha massacre?"

Goosebumps broke out on my skin. "Uh-Ahem sort of?"

Inoichi raised an eyebrow, before shaking his head and shifting into a welcoming smile. "Where are my manners? Would you like something to drink? Snacks perhaps? It's been a bit stressful at work recently, I must apologise for my carelessness."

"Ooh, do you have cookies?" Naruto asked.

I felt mortified, turning to hiss at Naruto and noticing Ino hiding her face in embarrassment. Inoichi chuckled at our little display and left the room to grab snacks.

My friend looked very pleased with himself. "I knew this was a good idea!"

It was Iruka's idea…

"Ugh, you idiot! Do you know how long I spent with my friends to teach them proper manners for my birthday sleepover?" Ino griped. "Don't go and ruin their chances at a good first impression!"

"Wouldn't us acting like brats only make them look better in comparison?" I interjected.

"Ugh, just don't be rude, you two," Ino huffed, "I'm heading to my room."

It was probably for the best if Ino wasn't here for our discussion, anyway. Her father returned a minute later with a tray of oatmeal cookies, much to Naruto's dismay. At least this way he wouldn't gobble them up in seconds.

I was surprised Inoichi allowed Naruto to stay at all, but having him by my side made me feel a bit safer, so I didn't comment.

"So, this is sort of about the Uchiha?" Inoichi questioned. "Are you worried about Sasuke? Do you fear something may risk his or your personal safety?"

Alright time to nope the hell out of here. He's too damn good!

Naruto latched onto my arm before I could flee. I nibbled on a cookie instead. "It's more of a general thing. I think I need therapy, Inoichi-sama."

Inoichi went slack-jawed for a moment. "Why do you think that?"

"I have this voice in my head that, well, second guesses everything I do," I said. "Like, telling me I should run away from here and that this conversation was a terrible idea."

Inoichi leaned back in his seat. "This voice, what does it sound like? When was the last time you heard it?"

I tugged at my bandage. "It sounds like, no, it is my own voice. I'm not talking about genjutsu or anything like that. I just have these recurring thoughts of inadequacy and"—I unwrapped my hand to show the wound—"I get really agitated at myself. This thing with the massacre,"—Nononono don't fucking say it—"Itachi warned me to stay away after Shisui died, I"—my breath hitched—"I let it happen."

"Are you guilty about heeding Itachi's advice?" Inoichi asked, "Or is it because you didn't inform people of your suspicions?"

I took a second cookie to bid for time. "I guess the latter… I was sure Itachi would do something rash, but didn't try to stop it, and now it's turned out true."

Inoichi tapped his knee as he dissected my admission. His aura buzzed and I was sure he was moments away from hauling me to T&I. "Did your anxiety develop in response to this foreknowledge?"

Did he not hear what I just said? No, Inoichi was a smart man. He must have ignored my confession on purpose. Was it to lure me into a trap? Did he not care?

Let's just carry on for now. "I've been somewhat anxious for a long time now, I think? I can't say how long exactly."

He grabbed and chewed on a cookie of his own. "What is the earliest instance you can recall?"

"Uhh, probably after I met Naruto?" For obvious reasons.

"What made you anxious back then?"

I couldn't tell him, but I wasn't a good enough liar to risk outright falsehoods. Half truths, Sato. Just be vague.

I swallowed. My throat felt dry. "I was trapped. There was nobody who could understand, who could help me. After I got moved from my last orphanage because of Chiyoko…"

Right. I wasn't acting suspicious. I was a perfectly normal, traumatised child. Chiyoko turned my childhood into hell. She berated me, trapped me in the house, and embezzled money. Not to mention that I witnessed her kill… Kaori.

She's dead because of me, and I forgot about her. How could you forget the closest thing you had to a mother!? Satoya, you piece of shit!

Something shook my body. "Earth to Satoya."

Naruot looked like he just saw someone kick a puppy. I had to restrain myself from cuddling up to him.

"Satoya," I glanced up to Inoichi—why were my cheeks so wet?—"You mentioned feeling trapped. Do you often feel trapped?"

I listlessly laughed. "When have I not? No, sorry that's not helpful. I don't know if I'm in the right state of mind for this."

Inoichi wasn't phased. "There's no right state of mind for these talks. Say whatever you wish to. You can do nothing wrong."

His words felt like getting that gross sort of artificially sweetened medicine jammed down my throat. "Okay sure, then I suppose yes I often feel trapped, especially with what happened lately. Though the first time it really happened was probably when I died—almost died back before I came to Konoha."

Inoichi eyed me with rapt attention, and for a moment I feared that somehow my slip of the tongue actually allowed him to figure it all out. Please don't invade my mind.

He snapped his fingers. "I remember now. You're the child that Kakashi brought here from Satoyama."

I was brought here by Kaka—No wait, "Seriously, the town was called Satoyama!?"