Heyo, this is the real chapter 17. I will remove the April fools chapter soon and add it to a sub-fic that might get some other random bits added over time.

Chapter 17: To challenge a Genius

Itomi faced him, the late setting sun outlining her elegant features with a golden glow. A soothing breeze carried the sweet scent of blooming flowers to Kouga's nose.

"Yamamoto-san, I… I cannot allow you to stay," Itomi said. "It is too dangerous. My uncle's men will execute anyone loyal to me."

Her concern brought a smile to his face. The princess was a kind soul. In the many years Kouga had guarded her, she never demanded he place her safety above his own. It was as endearing as it was exasperating.

"I'm afraid I cannot comply with your demand," he responded. "To leave now and let you fend for yourself would tarnish my honour. I would live in shame for the rest of my life."

Of course, his sense of duty was not the only reason to stay. However, it would be unbecoming of his position to voice his innermost feelings. He looked into Itomi's glistening amber eyes. Her lower lip trembled.

"Kouga-san, I… I don't," her voice faltered as tears streamed down her cheeks. Her next words were a mere whisper. "I don't want you to die."

Kouga stepped closer and wiped the tears from her face. "How selfish. Can't you see I feel the same?" he asked. "You are far too precious to leave behind."

She leaned into his chest as they both embraced. "Kouga, I—"

A hand clamped down on Kakashi's shoulder, jolting the book from his hands. "Kakashi, it is good to see you out and about!" Gai declared. "I hear you will be testing another genin team this year."

His friend's wide pearly-white grin shone so brightly, Kakashi had to squint to search for his dropped piece of literature. He found it beneath one of the barstools and sighed as he picked it up.

"Supposedly, withholding my expertise would be a waste of my talents," he explained. "At least if I fail them I have another year of peace."

Gai placed his hands on his hips and let loose a boisterous laugh. The other patrons eyed the pair with clear distaste. Kakashi attempted to bury his face in his book as Gai sat down beside him and continued unperturbed, "Always such a joker! Teaching is one of life's great pleasures."

Kakashi pondered whether to try out a tea shop next time. It wasn't his usual style, which might help him stay beneath the notice of his colleagues.

Disregarding his friend's clear lack of enthusiasm, Gai continued his questions. "Are you not at all curious? I hear this year's graduates are quite advanced."

Instead of answering, Kakashi paged through his book to find where he'd left off in Oath on the River. He'd been so close to finally reaching the payoff to the author's constant will-they-won't-they teasing.

"Ha! Seems I am still unable to defeat your cool, aloof attitude," Gai continued, fiercely nudging Kakashi and again nearly jostling his hold on the book.

Oh dear, he won't let me read until I give him something to work with.

"I'm not curious. The test's outcome is obvious," Kakashi supplied.

In truth, he felt rather stressed about his carefree life soon coming to an end. If Hiruzen followed through on his promise, the odds of his team failing were near non-existent. However, admitting as much would break character.

Instead Kakashi said, "If you're so sure they'll meet my standards, the least you could do is allow me to enjoy my last bit of free time before I get saddled with a trio of troublemakers."

Gai leapt up and pointed a finger at him. "In that case I challenge you to—"

"Who can stay silent the longest?" Kakashi interrupted. "Incredible, you read my mind. How lucky that I have a book with me."

"How uninspired. It seems my eternal rival is afraid my lead will increase even further," Gai said; Kakashi wouldn't fall for his taunts. "Too bad. I hear Jiraiya-san plans to gift an early signed copy of his next release to Konoha's top Jounin when he returns."

Kakashi slammed the second-rate softback in his hand onto the counter and lurched to his feet. The flames of desire were stoked. His single visible eye ablaze with competitive spirit.

"Challenge accepted!"

49 to 50.

Kakashi strolled up Konoha's main street, doing his best to keep the self-satisfied smirk from reaching his lone visible eye. Yesterday's competition may have left him dead on his feet, but it was worth it. Only two more wins and that book would be his.

"Kakashi, you are late," Hiruzen remarked. "Don't tell me you plan on picking up that habit again."

Kakashi froze mid-step. In his defence, the slow pace was entirely involuntary.

"Apologies, I had a very important matter to attend to late last night," he replied. "On a completely unrelated note, do you happen to know when Jiraiya-san will be returning to the village?"

Hiruzen was not amused. "Jiraiya will be present for the upcoming chunin exams. I'm sure you're aware why."

Kakashi lost the grin beneath his mask. To discover a traitor spying right under their nose last year had been a serious wakeup call to T&I. One could only hope that bolstering their barriers would hinder the intrusion of any more wayward snakes.

"But I'm not here to talk of such dreary things. How about we take a walk," Hiruzen said, expression brightening. Kakashi silently followed along as he was led toward one of the civilian neighbourhoods.

He had an inkling what this was about. Just like with his past team assignments, they would be taking a look at the students' living arrangements. Though the location wasn't quite right.

"Why enter this district?" He better not be planning to foist Kakashi off on some subpar snot-nosed brats again.

"About that…" Hiruzen started.

Kakashi stopped in place. "Hokage-sama. He is my—" he caught himself, "—too important to leave up to someone else."

"Playing favourites, Kakashi?" Hiruzen queried. "Don't tell me you failed the past two teams because you were holding out for this year's."

Kakashi gasped in shock. "Those weren't chunin stand-ins? I was so sure you sent me poor students on purpose to keep me available for this year's graduates," he said. "I think we need to postpone this meeting. There are some kids I must apologise to."

Hiruzen sighed in fond exasperation. "Remind me not to engage in jousts of jesting with you."

Kakashi smirked. "To reiterate, I failed them because they lacked the mentality for fieldwork. I will take on the responsibility of teaching only if I feel my students are ready for it. The same goes for Naruto."

"Good answer," Hiruzen said with a chuckle. "And it isn't Naruto who I must disappoint you about. For the sake of synergy, I will not be keeping him in the same team as his childhood friend. I believe a different boy will be a far better fit."

Kakashi sighed. "Sasuke Uchiha—" there were only two Sharingan users in the village after all "—but why remove Satoya from the squad?"

"I believe a different team and teacher would be more suitable to his skill set," Hiruzen replied. "In a way, he already succeeded in an unofficial B-rank stealth mission, and I understand he practises Kenjutsu every week with two of his classmates."

Kakashi saw where this was going. A specific person fit both those criteria to a T—Hayate Gekko. A good teacher and skilled swordsman, yet Kakashi wasn't quite satisfied. By virtue of his old post as Naruto's guard he'd also spent years watching over Satoya. Splitting them up like this…

"Those two share a strong bond. Are you sure this decision is for the best?" Kakashi asked. "Not to mention Sasuke and Naruto's mutual antagonism." It reminds me of something better left unsaid.

"I am Hokage, Kakashi. I do not assign teams based on personal feelings," Hiruzen argued. "Long days sitting in the office afford me a great deal of time to think things through. Matching the right students with the right teachers is my highest priority, and competition between rivals is far fiercer than between friends."

"That doesn't explain why Satoya cannot take the third slot," Kakashi replied.

"It would be unproductive," Hiruzen remarked. "Satoya is not the type to be swayed by competitive spirit. He also values Naruto's growth above his own. Thus I suspect he would hesitate making demands of you."

"Then who will be my third student?" Kakashi asked.

"Sakura Haruno," Hiruzen responded. "While she lacks stamina, she more than makes up for it with her expert chakra control. I'm sure that reminds you of someone else, doesn't it?"

Kakashi clutched his hand to his chest. "Hokage-sama, be careful with your words," he said. "My pride may never recover from such a fierce blow."

Hiruzen responded with a mirthful laugh.

Kakashi stood waiting outside the door. It had been quite a few years since he'd quit Anbu and, by virtue, his position as Naruto's guard. He'd caught sight of him a few times since, but now that the moment had come to finally meet and speak to his teacher's son face to face, he was hesitant.

It didn't hurt like it once had, but the pain had merely been replaced with nervous tension. Kakashi wanted to make a good impression. How did one go about doing that? For a moment he toyed with the idea of mimicking Gai's exuberance.

Absolutely not. How about—

Iruka cut his planning very short by yanking the door open in front of him. Kakashi noted a spark of recognition as the man in front of him quickly announced, "Team Seven, I present your teacher, Kakashi Hatake."

Kakashi had stared down literal serial killers before, and yet somehow this very moment was worse. He forced his face to remain impassive and focused on breathing steady as he entered the room. Idly scratching his chin to appear aloof, he stole a glance at his students.

He opened his mouth—

I can't do this.

—walked over to the room's second group of students. "You seem decent enough. Let's go."

"Hey, that's team five!" Naruto exclaimed.

Kakashi slowly turned in place and took a good, long look at Minato's son. A part of him was tempted to unveil his Sharingan, and another part wanted to laugh at Naruto's puffed up cheeks. He snuffed out those temptations.

"Hmm, no. That can't be right," he deadpanned. "I was told team seven had the class's best."

"Hey!" Sakura and Naruto shouted while Sasuke rolled his eyes.

I sense a common dynamic.

"Kakashi-san," Iruka groaned. "Please don't make things difficult."

Kakashi pondered if he should have tried a different approach instead of baffling them with dry humour. It was too late to break character now.

He theatrically sighed in defeat. "Oh dear. I suppose I have no choice. I'll have to go complain to the Hokage later." He gathered chakra around his feet and began shaping the vacuum droplet in front of him. "Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno, meet me on the roof in five minutes."

One flicker to the trees chained with another to the roof, and Kakashi was gone. The peace and quiet would hopefully help him come up with some better things to say.

I should have told them ten minutes instead.

The following morning, Kakashi found himself sitting cross-legged in a field of grass. Breakfast today was grilled mackerel with rice and a side of green beans dressed in sesame sauce. Gai had dropped it off at some ungodly hour before going on his run.

"I'm not sure what to think of them," Kakashi said between bites. "Despite all the rumours, they don't seem like anything special. Just a bunch of ill-mannered kids."

A flower petal carried by the wind danced across his vision, before landing right on his nose.

Is that your way of saying you disagree?

He brushed the offending piece of plant matter from his face. "I suppose we weren't any different," he concluded. "No, compared to us they seem a lot better. I had no idea what I wanted out of life at that age,"—Still don't—"Not that it matters if they don't pass."

He eyed his friends' names and managed to smile. "I suppose I'll have to wait and see how they match up to us."

On that note, they were probably at the training ground by now. He didn't plan on showing himself for another few hours, but Kakashi was curious to see how his fresh set of students handled the lengthy wait. Spending less time moping around than he used to didn't mean watching genin lose their collective minds over his tardiness wasn't endlessly amusing.

I'm their jounin-sensei. What are they going to do, report me?

He traced his fingers along the lines engraved in the memorial stone. "Obito, Rin. I'll let you know how they did."

He arrived to find Sakura and Sasuke already present. Her blush and his bewilderment told Kakashi all he needed to know about their topic of conversation. A twinge of sympathy tugged at his heart, but Kakashi wouldn't disrupt his plans just to spare Sasuke some discomfort.

As any onlooker could have predicted, the talk concluded with the two of them in a sour mood, staring off in opposite directions. Luckily for them—and to Kakashi's disappointment—the awkward atmosphere was soon broken by a pair of fresh arrivals. Kakashi mentally noted that despite seeming standoffish, Sasuke's expression and posture were far more lively with Naruto around.

Like watching a grumpy kitten bristle its fur at a yapping puppy.

To Kakashi's surprise the bickering stopped almost as soon as it started, unlike what happened on the roof yesterday. He'd have to investigate how Satoya managed that so quickly. The only method Kakashi could think of was…

Kakashi repositioned himself to confirm his hunch.

Oh dear.

Satoya just handed them food.

Had Hayate put him up to this? Was it payback for sending him to the wrong room to meet his genin team yesterday? Either way, Kakashi couldn't just let this meddling slide. There was no use in letting them wait for a few hours if they weren't starving by the end of it.

He internally debated how he could salvage the situation, and by the time he made up his mind, four students had already turned into six.

Kakashi flickered into view and snatched a partially eaten ration bar out of Sakura's hand. "What did I say about breakfast?" he chided. "And here I thought you respected your dear teacher."

After Hayate came by to pick up his band of rugrats, Kakashi took the chance to appraise his team's gear.

The two boys looked mostly the same. Sasuke had added some protective wrist wraps and a pair of fuma shuriken, while Naruto sported a belt stocked with a wide variety of ninja tools.

Sakura on the other hand went through quite the wardrobe change. Gone was the knee-length red gown—replaced by a sleeveless vest and shorts. Her shoulder-length hair was tied into a ponytail and her forehead was covered by her newly minted protector.

Intellectually, Kakashi knew keeping a strict work-life balance was better for mental health. Nonetheless, most shinobi were lax with their boundaries. Sakura probably just wanted to make a good impression.

"Your goal today is to take these bells from me," Kakashi explained, jingling them for emphasis. "Anyone who fails to acquire one gets sent back to the academy."

"Where's the third bell?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi raised his lone visible eyebrow. "What third bell?"

Naruto gaped in affront, and Sasuke piped up beside him, "It's obviously a ruse, dumbass. Genin squads always have three members." Sakura nodded along.

"My test, my rules," Kakashi stated. "Two years ago I sent a pair of students back to the academy, and last year it was all three. I didn't say it had a high failure rate without reason"

"You're bluffing," Naruto countered. "They wouldn't allow that, right Sasuke? Sakura?"

This time, his teammates weren't so sure. Sakura frowned in thought, while Sasuke scrutinised him for any tells. The boy even had his Sharingan active—how cute. Too bad for them, Kakashi's poker face had been honed his entire life.

"If you don't believe me, ask my previous genin hopefuls," Kakashi offered. "Though you'll have to be quick; you only have until noon to get a bell."

"Doesn't that give us almost four hours?" Sakura asked.

"Does it?" Kakashi pulled up his alarm clock; it read 10:37. "Oh, I must have forgotten to turn this back after my mission to the Land of Lightning. Lucky you, or I wouldn't be here this early."

Kakashi set the clock down on one of the nearby logs. "You have until this clock reads 12:00."

"What, how's that fair!?" Naruto yelped.

"My test, my rules," Kakashi reiterated. "So best get on with it while you still have the time. Oh, and I suggest coming at me with everything you have if you want any chance of success."

Naruto looked ready to jump straight into action, but Sakura held him off. "You're not going to run away, right sensei?" she asked.

While it would certainly be amusing to have them chase him across Konoha, Kakashi wasn't that sadistic. "I will stay right here in training ground 3."

Sakura nodded and pulled her two team members into a private discussion. Kakashi didn't bother listening in as that would make things too easy. Instead, he languidly put his hand in his weapon pouch. Sasuke caught the movement and quickly nudged Sakura beside him. The three of them all tensed. Kakashi eye-smiled innocently as he unveiled a small orange book.

"Oh don't mind me," he said. "I figured you'd take a while so I could get some reading done." He had to finish rereading the series before Jiraiya gifted him the next instalment.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, Naruto stuck his tongue out, and Sakura huffed. They then walked into the forest behind him. Kakashi could still hear their faint whispers in the distance; they hadn't gone very far. He returned focus to his prized Icha Icha.

His immersion was quickly broken by the arrival of three interlopers. "No outside help!" he warned team five. "I'm not here to test more than three people." They ran past him with cheeky grins and he narrowed his eye at their retreating backs.

That reminded him of something he had yet to confirm. Kakashi took out Sakura's partially eaten food bar and checked the wrapper—a field ration. After practically living off the stuff during his ANBU days, he would know that brand anywhere.

Satoya, you meddling scamp.

This thing was practically an entire meal on its own, and Sasuke still had another one tucked away. Problematic, considering Kakashi's presented moral dilemma would hardly be a dilemma if they weren't hungry.

He wasn't afforded very much time to think about how to fix the situation. The telltale chime of shadow clones soon sounded in the distance, accompanied by the light ozone smell of chakra smoke.

Then his book caught fire. The flame felt adequately hot, and the emotional impact was devastating. An expertly executed Genjutsu.

Consider myself successfully distracted.

Kakashi calmly disrupted the illusion after a short moment, just in time to catch a trio of Narutos dashing from the treeline for a pincer attack.

"Lesson one of the Shinobi arts: Taijutsu," Kakashi lazily announced.

He casually blocked a punch with an open palm and ducked beneath a high kick. It sailed overhead and caught the third clone in the chest, bursting him apart. The other two copies quickly met the same fate, and Kakashi was once again left alone in the open field.

Peering into the forest beyond, he reckoned this attack must have been another stalling tactic. Dozens of clones streamed out from behind the trees, soon encircling him like a pack of wolves. They held a variety of ranged weapons, and one third each were transformed into Naruto's teammates. The true Sasuke and Sakura were likely hiding among them.

Kakashi pulled out a kunai to idly spin it around his finger. "I suppose you think you can use this open space to your advantage?"

Let's see if genin marksmanship is enough to force me into cover.

Naruto's ranged barrage wasn't the uncoordinated mess Kakashi expected. Projectiles came in staggered waves, leaving him with little room to manoeuvre. Perhaps it was time to put away his Icha, lest it got scratched up. Not to say that defending was difficult per se, but it took enough effort that he had to stop pretending not to pay attention. Still, unless Naruto—

Kakashi bent backwards to escape a pair of Shuriken that he'd initially disregarded.

Oh?

That wasn't a mistake a jounin of his calibre would normally make. That could only mean—

Kakashi dodged another pair of hidden projectiles. The shuriken were disguised by the shadows of their predecessors—a tricky technique that Kakashi remembered from his ANBU days. If Naruto could truly manage that kind of throwing, then his clones would have done the same. It must have been Sasuke, though knowing this didn't make finding him amongst the crowd much easier. He must have used his Sharingan to emulate Naruto's movement.

That deserved some praise for thoroughness. Though the strategy itself wasn't the most complex, it was enough to make him consider getting out of the open.

Not yet.

Instead, Kakashi announced, "Lesson two: Ninjutsu," and summoned three illusory clones to divert attention. He paid special attention to the corner of his vision, waiting for a tell…

There!

Kakashi pounced.

Sasuke had no time to block the kick to his torso. The force was enough to… poof?

Sakura grabbed Kakashi's leg and held on with all her might, even as the air was driven from her lungs. He slammed her to the ground—as lightly as one could do such a thing—to get her off and was immediately dogpiled by a mob of clones. A flurry of minor cuts took them out within moments—just in time to be met with Sasuke, hands shaped into the tiger seal and lungs at full capacity.

By instinct Kakashi leapt up out of the line of fire. The roiling ball of flame passed beneath him, lighting the distant forest ablaze. Now stuck in mid-air, Naruto and Sakura's followup pair of fuma shuriken forced him to contort his body to escape.

Close, but not—

Then the Shuriken reverted into clones.

Fine, it's time for some elemental flair.

Kakashi's hands blurred through hand signs and electricity arced around him to zap his assailants. The clones burst apart just as they were about to touch the bells at his waist, but he wasn't safe yet. Sasuke already awaited him below with a crowd of even more clones. All of them wore the same cocky smirk.

They're blocking off my path to the forest.

Too bad for them, the training wheels were off. Upon touchdown he crumbled the ground with an earth technique to disrupt their footing and blitzed past them into the trees.

The first priority was Naruto. By tracing the clones to their origin point, Kakashi triangulated his position within seconds and tied him up. Next on the chopping block was Sasuke. After trying to entrap Kakashi in a Genjutsu, he got buried up to his neck in the ground.

"And then there was one," Kakashi said, lazily stretching his back and looking back at Sasuke. "Think Sakura will be able to save the day?"

The boy only glared at him, once again trying to trap him in an illusion. Kakashi brushed it off with the slightest flex of his chakra—a sad attempt. "Just because you have those eyes doesn't mean you shouldn't practise," he advised, sauntering off to check on Naruto.

The boy still hung suspended, silently swaying in the wind. A number of things surrounding him had changed, however. Like the slick ground or, more notably, the appearance of an uninvited guest.

She must have acted when Sasuke made his second attempt.

"Hello, Sakura," Kakashi said. "Mind explaining yourself?"

She froze in place as if caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. In her palm rested a bloodied knife. Her body trembled. The air was foul.

"I figured it out," she said. "The point of your test."

"Oh?"

Sakura nodded, her lips twisted into the broken facsimile of a smile even as tears welled up in her eyes. "You wanted to see if we're willing to do whatever it takes. With only two bells and an unbeatable foe, the best choice is to decide by ourselves who gets to pass."

Kakashi slow clapped. "I appreciate the effort, but this is definitely not how you should have gone about it," he said, putting his hand to his temple. "Genjutsu release."

The smell of fresh blood disappeared and Naruto's body was replaced with a strung up log.

"If that'd actually convinced me I would have failed you on the spot," Kakashi explained, shaking his head. "Or worse."

"Sorry…" Sakura answered, averting her eyes. "I needed your attention."

Kakashi again gazed at the log that had taken Naruto's place. "Ah yes, I've been thoroughly trounced," he deadpanned. "Whatever shall I do now that your dastardly plan has succeeded."

He looked back to Sakura. "Lesson three: Genjutsu."

Two hand signs later, and there she went—off to face her greatest fears. Kakashi gently lowered her to the ground before she could fall. Naruto's fresh clones already rustled in the thicket.

Obito, are we sure there haven't been any wars going on lately?

He dismissed those musings, and got back to work.

The clock rang. Three students sat across from their sensei.

"What have we learned?" Kakashi asked them.

"You're a sore loser," Naruto replied.

"I don't remember losing."

"You perform hand seals inhumanly quickly," Sasuke added.

"Last I checked, I'm human."

"You aren't easily tricked," Sakura stated.

Kakashi smiled. "A good shinobi always looks underneath the underneath," he replied, "but no, that wasn't what I was aiming for. I believe the true lesson we all learned here is that the three of you won't be heading back to the academy."

Sasuke gave a subdued victory smirk, but his teammates weren't so reserved. Naruto jumped to his feet to celebrate, while Sakura excitedly wiggled underneath her bindings.

Once their shouts of jubilation were finished, Naruto spoke up. "So that means all three of us—"

"Yup, the three of you will be kicked out of ninja training," Kakashi finished, real anger leaking into his voice. "Do you have any idea how reckless the three of you have been this whole time? You think pulling ploys from a bag of tricks is enough to impress me?"

They fell silent. Well, except for—

"Seriously?" Naruto complained. "The other teachers would have totally passed us!"

Kakashi crossed his arms. "My colleagues aren't me. They see 'potential' while I see reality. You are a bunch of brats who think some overly complex scheme is enough to defeat a superior force, while entirely missing what this exercise was truly about."

"Wasn't the point of it teamwork?" Sakura asked. "The bells were meant to divide us, but we stuck together."

Kakashi shook his head. "The point was flexibility," he corrected. "I already knew your year was full of exceptionally advanced combatants. But a ninja's toolset must be far broader than that. If your only tool is a kunai, then every mission is an assassination."

This time it was Sasuke's turn to speak up. "You would have had us start a debate?"

"Diplomacy is a valuable skill," Kakashi answered, shrugging. "Better to try a different angle than to continuously run head first into an immovable object."

"That's it?" Naruto yelped. "We don't try talking things out, so you fail us and we never get to be ninja?"

"I'm doing you a favour," Kakashi argued. "Missions are dangerous enough as it is, even without seeking unnecessary violence." He raised his finger to point at the distant memorial. "That stone over there, you know what it represents?"

No answer was forthcoming.

"The names carved in that memorial are the village's many heroes who have died on active duty," Kakashi explained. "Most deaths stemmed from wars, including my best friends'. I am disappointed in you three because not a day goes by when I don't wonder whether such bloodshed could have been avoided. Violence only begets violence."

He noted their downcast expressions. That's what happens when you ruin my lighthearted moral quandary about food.

"However, you cannot fully be blamed for your lack of experience," Kakashi admitted. "I've had a comparably long life, after all. So I'll give you one final chance."

He unhooked the bells and tossed them to his students.

"Choose amongst yourselves who deserves a bell," he said. "All three of you must agree with the choice. Come find me after you've decided. If I don't like the reasoning behind your decision, you all fail."

And thus, he left the training ground behind.

Many hours later, Kakashi was sitting in a stuffy tavern, filled to the brim with rowdy, drunk jounin. His favourite book was stowed away, as its mere presence would invite terrible disaster in the form of drunk flirtations—an experience he was not looking to repeat ever again. Instead, he busied himself counting floorboards, silently judging people's poor dancing skills, and pondering how he'd gotten himself into this mess.

The answer was poor timing and, in all honesty, poor decisions on his part.

In need of a quiet place to recharge his social battery before meeting team seven for dinner, he'd selected the tea shop that caught his eye a while ago. None of his colleagues frequented the place as it typically catered to younger folk.

However, Kakashi had failed to consider that said young folk might have teachers. That afternoon just so happened to be the day when Hayama Shirakuma met up with his old genin team. Naturally, Kakashi begged him not to reveal his whereabouts, afraid that Gai might show up to issue a challenge while Kakashi wasn't in peak shape. Hayama agreed… conditionally.

"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself," the originator of his anguish noted, pulling back to grim reality. "Not one for parties, I take it?"

For a brief moment, Kakashi considered adding a second scar to the opposite corner of the man's lip. However, he couldn't detect a hint of joviality in Hayama's black eyes, so perhaps the question wasn't meant to mock him.

"I'm impressed you can tell," Kakashi responded. "By the way some people pester me, I figured I must be giving the wrong impression."

"Your friends probably just worry," Hayama said. "With your history, I'm not too surprised."

Kakashi weighed whether or not to give another sarcastic response. "Sadly, I've lost the privilege of blaming my introversion on depression."

Hayama chuckled. "And yet you chose to be a teacher."

"It would be a pity to keep a thousand jutsu locked inside my head," Kakashi said. "A waste of talents, some may say."

"Those sound like Lord Third's words," Hayama noted. "I guess a genius like you can't simply opt out."

"A genius like me, huh?" Kakashi leaned far back in his wooden chair, tipping it to balance on two legs. "I doubt that's enough to make me a good teacher. Such a shame that everyone here is too inebriated to impart their wisdom."

"If you wanted advice, you should have shown up before people got drunk," Hayama snarked. "Fortunately I am still sober, should you hope to hear of my own experiences."

"Please enlighten me."

And so, he was told about the members of team 18 and Hayama's struggles.

Shita Inuzuka, a boy who—unlike his clan—didn't like dogs. Seno, an Aburame who kept heedlessly rushing into trouble. And, perhaps the most difficult of all, Ureha Ueno—a seemingly carefree kunoichi right up until she got herself officially barred from using poison in spars facing a fellow Konoha nin who had berated and challenged her.

"That's quite the story," Kakashi conceded.

"Your kids will likely be easier to handle," Hayama assured.

Kakashi eyed the three bells still tied to his waist. Somehow he doubted it.