Nineteen
Severus watches as Lucius Malfoy paces the length of the drawing room, his figure reflecting in the crystal chandelier and bouncing off of the mirror lined wall. Lucius stops, stokes the roaring fire once more for good measure, and continues in his trance, the thump of his step reverberating throughout the room. Someone, or rather something, had carelessly pushed all of the usual furnishings against a back wall, entrapping the large pipe organ Severus was partial to playing on occasion behind several oversized leather chairs and chaise lounges. The putrid smell of decaying roses mingled with smoke billowing from the marble fireplace, making Severus smoke cigarette after cigarette in a vain attempt to keep the stench from gagging him. In all the years he had known the Malfoy's, he had never seen the home in such a state of disarray.
Narcissa enters the room, clutching the hand of a visibly shaken Draco. The Malfoy family portrays themselves as fearless and noble, but deep down, they are all weak. Each and every one of them. There was once a time when Severus looked up to Lucius, thought him to be a God. Now, he saw him for what he truly was, a coward. Severus wanted to shake him before The Dark Lord arrived , tell him to get it the fuck together, that they were all terrified but didn't go sniveling about it, but he knew Lucious would only find a way to pick it apart, feed him to The Dark Lord to keep the heat off of himself.
There is to be a new professor at Hogwarts this year, one hand-picked by Lucius Malfoy himself; Dolores Umbridge. Umbridge is a stout, toad like woman with a high pitched, shrill voice that makes Severus want to gouge out his own ears. On top of that, she is vile, power hungry, sadistic, and narcissistic. Her hobbies include, but are not limited to, torture, humiliation, and complete annihilation of Muggle kind, despite herself being a half-blood. Severus vows to himself and The Order to do what he can, when he can, to protect the students from her as discretely as possible. Despite missing her, he is ever so thankful that Miss Black is no longer a student at Hogwarts, and thus, exempt from Umbridge's tyrannical reign.
It has been one month and three days since he last laid eyes on Miss Black. The first several weeks, it took everything in him to keep from knocking on her door, asking her to tea, gifting her yet another book. But, he held his ground. He is not, and will not be, romantically attracted to her. She simply fills a void within him that he cannot begin to understand. The girl is humble, kind, and utterly brilliant. He finds being near her peaceful; relaxing to an extent he has yet to experience in another person, even Lily. Lily came with stipulations, even before acquainting herself with Potter and his merry gang of bullies, there was still Petunia to compete with. Petunia wished Lily to be more like her. Normal, as she put it, less of a freak, as she liked to scream at the top of her lungs. Severus had row after row with Petunia, each resulting in the silent treatment from Lily for days on end. Miss Black had none of that, he did not need to compete for her company, company she herself seemed to enjoy. Severus wished to tell her that she made his days brighter when she was near, but for now, he simply had to keep her safe, and that meant staying away. He feared her reaction if she ever saw the Mark on his arm, heard the rumors floating around that he was actually a Death Eater. He could not tell her the truth despite the inability to permeate her mind, it was far too great of a risk.
Madam Rosmerta took a liking to the girl over the previous summer when she stayed at The Three Broomsticks after he caught her living in The Shrieking Shack. She offered Miss Black a part time job there at the inn while she awaited her position at St. Mungo's set to start this upcoming spring when one of the fellow herbologists was scheduled to retire. Severus knew from Madam Rosmerta's weekly correspondents that Miss Black was unharmed. Miss Black had written to him on several occasions since the end of term. Inviting him to tea, inviting him to dinner, and even inviting him to see her new home, he had not replied to any of them, and eventually she stopped writing altogether.
If he were someone else.
If it were a different time.
If war were not on the horizon.
If he were not directly involved with a group of people who wished her dead.
Severus would go to her.
Week after excruciating week Severus must sit across from Sirius Black and listen to him whine and sulk. Not once has Sirius uttered her name, asked after her, ensured her safety, or even acknowledged her existence in any way. Sirius only had eyes for Harry Potter. It all came to a head after Lupin, Molly Weasley, and Sirius had yet another screaming match over whether or not the boy should be allowed in on the meetings.
"HE IS MY GODSON!" Sirius bellowed above them all, rattling the teacups in their saucers and causing Arthur Weasley to nearly drop the plate of sandwiches he was carrying to the table.
"WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN, SIRIUS!" Molly Weasley screams above him, face turning red in frustration over the same never ending fight.
"It is my job to keep him safe, I owe it to him! I am simply-"
"And what of your daughter. Hm?" Severus finally interjects, tired of keeping this secret from Arthur and Molly. Arthur freezes and glares at Sirius, mouth agape. Molly mouths words but no sound escapes her lips. Lupin runs his hands over his face and prepares himself for the coming storm. Sirius slams his hands on the table and makes to launch himself over it to get to Severus.
"You know nothing, Snivellus!" Sirius sneers as Lupin grabs him by the elbows from behind and slams his body down on to a chair in an attempt to hold him back.
"Oh, but I do, Snuffles. I know where she is, I know that she is safe. I know these things because I ensure it. More than that though, I know that you have not once asked after her."
"Severus, what are you-" Molly begins, Severus holds his hand up to stop her, knowing he won't be able to get a word in the moment her and Sirius start up again.
"I have done more for your child in the last six months than you have her eighteen years of life. Did you congratulate her on her outstanding N.E.W.T score? How about when she secured a position at St. Mungo's before she even took those N.E. ? Her birthday has recently passed, and I wonder Sirius, did you even write to her then, or were you too busy being a godfather to bother?" Severus stands and glares down at Sirius being restrained to a chair by Lupin. He wants these words to cut Sirius, hurt him to his core. "Pathetic. You should be thanking me for what I have done for her. Thankful that she is even alive at all. Instead, you ignore her existence entirely for your own selfish pleasure. She means less to you than a ghost. Does Potter even know? Tell me, how will he like you once he learns how you treat your own flesh and blood?"
Severus turns and makes his way out of the room. Sirius screams something unintelligible as Arthur lunges and drapes himself across his knees in an effort to help Lupin keep him contained. Molly screams and pushes the table away from the lashing pile of men. Severus breaks the Imperturbable Charm meant to block out nosing children and nearly kicks a spying Weasley child in the head as they flee from outside of the door. The child, he believes the girl this time, runs up the stairs on all fours as the portrait of Walaburga Black takes up her screeching once more as the commotion from the kitchen permeates from under the now spell-less door.
Severus reads the letter for the dozenth time in an hour, hoping he misread it the other times and lights yet another clove cigarette. He closes his eyes, leans his head against the back on the chair, and lets the smoke slowly escape from his nostrils. The window to his drawing room at Spinner's End is left open, the late summer storm brewing outside sends gusts of wind through the room, threatening to extinguish the candle flames lighting the room which would leave him in total darkness. If he had a taste for drink, he would have something strong in his hand to combat his nerves, but he does not. The letter in question arrived just as he returned from Grimmauld Place, he fights every instinct to race to Hogsmeade and assume the search himself but knows it will blow his cover. Despite his every effort, he has failed to keep her safe.
Carrow twins and Nott in Hogsmeade trying to recruit.
Heard a scream and sent a friend to check on our acquaintance.
Can not locate the acquaintance, have established a search party.
Do not come until I give word. Too dangerous.
Will write when I know more.
-M.R
Summer turns to fall, fall turns to winter. It has been six months and fourteen days since he last saw Miss Black; five months since she was taken from her home in Hogsmeade. Severus finds himself once again pacing Albus Dumbledore's office awaiting their own little spy's return. It did not take long for Severus and Albus to formulate a plan to find and rescue the girl. What they did not anticipate, however, was the time it would take to put the plan in motion. A soft pop shakes him from his trance. There, in the middle of the room, stands the spy.
"Dobby is pleased to announce, Sirs, that Miss Black is still in good health. Thanks to Mister Snape, that is." Dobby the house-elf stands proudly in the center of the room as Albus and Severus both rush to his side to gather more information from him.
"You haven't been seen, have you, Dobby?" Albus asks, his eyes full of worry for the girl. Severus takes a deep breath and reaches for the small pouch the elf carries around his waist to deliver healing potions to the girl.
"No, Headmaster. Dobby is quiet, Sir. Dobby would never risk being found out!"
"You're an excellent spy, Dobby." Albus winks as he passes the elf a pair of brightly colored wool socks from the table, payment for the elves selfless involvement.
Dobby smiles brightly up at Albus, snaps his fingers, and is once again gone with a small pop. Severus runs his hands through his matted hair and wishes desperately to scream and rip every last strand from his head. They had not known for certain that she would be held in the makeshift prison cells in the cellar of Malfoy Manor, but he knew that someone was based on the screams he had heard each week during the meetings that The Dark Lord called. After one such meeting, Amycus Carrow stops Severus in the hall and produces a vial of Blood-Replenishing Potion on a warn faux leather cord and asks him what it is. Had he paid an ounce of attention during his school years, he would know exactly what it was. This night, however, Severus is thankful for his stupidity, because he knows without any doubt that the girl is there, and Amycus had been the one to take her. Dobby was their only choice, he knew Malfoy Manor like the back of his tiny brown hand, he could pass through it unnoticed and bring them back news of her wellbeing, pass potions to ensure her survival. Under no circumstances was Dobby to tell the girl who the potions came from, only that they were there to help her.
Another two weeks pass before Severus finds himself once again sitting across from The Dark Lord in the dark drawing room of Malfoy Manor, surrounded by the grim, terrified faces of the several men and women surrounding the table. Tonight's discussion; how to free the fellow members from Azkaban. Amycus Carrow sits diagonally from Severus, his smug face begging for a Crutiatus Curse. The meeting comes to a close, The Dark Lord dismisses them all, and several stand and rush from the room. Lucius, Narcissa, Pettigrew, Amycus, Alecto, The Dark Lord, and Severus are all that remain around the table. Tonight, will be the night that he takes the girl from the manor.
The Dark Lord makes to rise, Amycus clears his throat. The Dark Lord halts, his red eyes fixing on Amycus.
"M….My Lord." Amycus stammers, clearly not prepared for this discussion. "If I may."
"Yes, Amycus. What is it?"
"Our…our little guest in the cellar. Might I….might I rid of her now?"
"She is of no use to me." The Dark Lord remarks dryly, fluttering his hand in the direction of the cellar to indicate his annoyance at the matter.
Severus reaches into the pocket of his robe and produces a simple vial of water labeled Veritaserum, he slides the vial towards The Dark Lord and raises his brow. The Dark Lord seems interested, they lock eyes, Severus produces a false memory of himself brewing the potion in his brewing room at Hogwarts.
"Amycus." The Dark Lord announces in a shrill voice, startling Narcissa. "Go retrieve our guest."
Severus heard her screams before he saw Amycus drag her through the door by her hair. It took everything in him to remain calm, steady his pounding heart. The once white sun dress she had warn the day he sent her off to Diagon Alley is now a dingy grey color, blood stains litter the fabric, the left strap is ripped from the seam, exposing her breast and ribs. She makes to cover herself but is pushed to the ground. The girl, while always thin, was reduced to a mere skeleton. Her body was filthy, dried flood crusted her face and neck; her hair was matted with it. Severus could not tell where one bruise on her body ended, and another began. She attempts to crawl away from Amycus when he hits her with a Cruciatus Curse. Her body jerks and contorts on the ground as she lets out the most ear shattering scream Severus had ever heard. Narcissa covers her ears as a single tear falls from the tip of her nose.
"That will do, Amycus." the Dark Lord finally announces. Severus lets out a shaky breath as Amycus finally releases the girl from the curse. She quiets her scream immediately but continues to whimper and writhe on the ground as she stares up at the ceiling, streams of tears leave paths in the grime and blood on her face.
The Dark Lord rises and begins to circle the girl still lying on the floor while making a tisking sound.
"Petrificus Totalus" The Dark Lord whispers, freezing the girl entirely. He then levitates her, drifting her body above the table they all sit at. The girl's head rolls back and smacks the table with a thump, her eyes roll back in her head, then slowly readjust themselves to stare directly into Severus' eyes. She makes to scream again, but it is him this time that whispers his own spell.
"Langlock" Severus mutters beneath his breath as he locks eyes with the girl, silently begging her to trust him. He sees the fear and betrayal in her eyes as she registers his attendance in the home.
"Amycus wishes to take this girl." The Dark Lord laughs at his own private joke.
"Yes, My Lord." Amycus finally finds his guts and stares into The Dark Lords eyes.
"Take her?" Severus asks.
"As a bride or as a whore, I've yet to determine." The Dark Lord laughs once more and turns to Severus. "Do you know this girl?"
"Yes. In fact, I do." Severus announces as he looks into The Dark Lord's eyes. He produces the faintest memory of the girl, sitting front row in his classes. "If I may, My Lord."
"Go on, Severus."
"The girl is talented. Give her to Amycus and she'll be dead before the week is through. Such a waste of potential, if you ask me."
"My Lord!" Amycus makes to grab the girl but is grabbed by the sleeve by The Dark Lord.
"SILENCE!" He shouts, slinging Amycus by the sleeve and on to the ground. "Go on, Severus."
"I propose, My Lord, that I be the one to take the girl." All around him gasps and sounds of interest fill the room.
"And just why would you want to do that?" The Dark Lord laughs as he surveys the girls motionless body hovering above the table.
"I have seen her work. She has been offered a position at St. Mungo's, before even passing her N.E.W.T exam, she is talented. I can take her, heal her. Perhaps, we even place her within Hogwarts. Dumbledore already has a liking towards the girl. We make her ours; we have yet another set of eyes in the castle. She is young, likable, she will be able to convince more students to join us."
The Dark Lord trails the tip of his wand down the girl's body as the ponders this suggestion, finally, he turns back towards Severus.
"She is but a Mudblood."
"A half-blood, My Lord. As am I."
"A half-blood, you say? Just who's half-blood would she be?"
"Sirius Black." Severus spits out, eyes locked on Narcissa Malfoy.
The Dark Lord doubles over with laughter and turns to Narcissa.
"You hear that, Cissy? Your cousin, the blood traitor sired a half-blood!" He continues his laughter, and the others take suit. "What say you, Cissy? Should we give your darling cousin here to Severus?"
"She is no cousin of mine!" Narcissa spits. "But I hold no qualm in the matter."
"Very well. It is settled, then." The Dark Lord paces back towards Severus and take him by the hand. He pries the girls rigor like hand from her body and places it in Severus' before taping it with the wand he held. A golden ribbon like essence encircles their joined hand and wrist, binding them together. The golden ribbon dances across their skin, raising the tiny hairs on the backs of their hands, before settling and dissipating within. The two were married.
"I am trusting you with this, Severus." The Dark Lord announces as he released the girl from the Petrificus Totalus, her body slams painfully on to the table below but she does not make to move. "Do not let me down."
Severus gathers the girl in his arms as she resists him. She thrashes and attempts to scratch at his face, but she is weak and slow, and Severus is able to wrap his arms around her own to pin them to her sides before Apparating back to Spinner's End.
Outside of his door, snow falls in thick globs to the ground where it settles into the blankets of white, wind whips harshly at their bodies as he remembers the girl is scantily dressed and wearing no shoes. He released her from his grip and makes to remove his cloak to wrap around her, not thinking she would be foolish enough to run. She is, however, foolish enough to run. She does not make it far before she trips and plants herself in the deep snow. Severus plucks her from the ground and cradles her to his chest, she weighs hardly anything. Whether it be shock, cold, or a combination of both, the girl ceases her struggle and goes limp in his arms.
The girl is completely catatonic as he rolls up his sleeves and draws a bath for her. Severus places the girl in the tub and rinses her body. He drains the filthy red tinged water and replaces it with fresh, using a large glass he rinses the remaining blood from her hair. The water is once again fouled, and he drains and replaces it once more. Finally, he is able to properly bathe her. He uses his own soap to wash her hair and is careful to avoid the large lump on the back of her head where it smacked the table at Malfoy Manor. Her body is limp and pliable as he lifts her arms to wash them, her fingertips are raw and bloodied, the nails look as if they had been ripped off at the cuticle. Still though, she does not make a sound, only stares straight ahead, knees clutched to her chest and mouth slightly agape. Severus places his finger beneath the girls chin and turns her head towards his, he stares into her eyes as purely as he can manage.
"I will not harm you." He promises her before removing her arms from her knees and straitening her legs. He maintains constant eye contact, silently vowing to the girl that he means no harm as he cleanses her chest, intimates, and legs with a soapy rag. Severus finishes her legs and moves to her back, gently, he brushes her wet hair off of her spine and gasps. Each vertebra sticks out like a glacier in the sea, her ribs visible with deep divots between each one. Bruises in various stages of healing litter her body. Cigarette burns trail up and down her arms, neck, and even her back. A large, purple boot print sits in the center of her spine, he reaches out and brushes his fingers gently across it before finally cupping the side of her head and pulling her in to his chest, not caring if she soaks him.
Severus holds her against his chest for several moments, thankful she is finally safe. He kisses the top of her wet head and breathes her in before reaching down and draining the water for the final time. He wraps her in a towel and lifts her from the tub before carrying her down the hall and sitting her at the vanity in the room that once belonged to his mother and paternal grandmother before her. The room stands as it did when he was a boy; a white vanity with a broken mirror from when his father smashed it with a shoe one drunken night, and a queen-sized canopy bed, canopy missing. While very small and not lived in for many years, it would now be hers. Severus leaves the girl sitting at the vanity and rushes across the hall to his own room, he rips one of his nightshirts from the hanger in the closet and takes a moment to steady his breathing. Once he regains control of himself, he grabs a vial of Sleeping Draught from his bedside table and returns to the girl to find her sobbing and gripping the towel to her body. She allows him to pull the nightshirt over her head and remove the towel she had been clutching. The shirt swallows her small frame and hangs from her chest but clings to the rest of her still wet body, the sleeves are much too long, and he rolls them up several times in order to reveal her small hands, for a moment he is worried that she may trip over it should she try and walk, but there is not much he can do about that at the moment.
Severus picks up his mother's vanity brush and a comb and begins to gently untangle the matted hair. Chunks of her hair are missing in places, others uneven and look as if they were cut with a dagger, it would need to be cut eventually to even it out. Eventually, he manages to remove most of the knots and tangles. He moves to her side, removes the stopper from the vial of Sleeping Draught, tilts her head back gently, and brings the vial to her lips. She swallows without hesitation and her eyes immediately begin to flutter. He takes her in his arms once more, turns back the covers on the bed, and gently places her in the bed.
"I trusted you." She mutters, then falls into a deep sleep.
Severus pulls the vanity chair to her bedside and sits with her throughout the night.