31st October

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay behind to keep you company?" it was the morning we were supposed to be going to Hogsmeade, but Harry hadn't gotten his permission slip signed so wasn't allowed to go.

He shook his head, "There's no chance you're getting out of going. Don't be so nervous. You will have a great time with Wood!" It was at that point that the Weasley twins brushed past us and got walking down the long path with a long list of things to purchase. "Some people clearly can't wait to go!" he edged me on. "I'll hear all about it when you get back." He walked towards the Common Room.

I got the courage to tell Hermione, Ron and Harry about Oliver the night after he asked me out. They had mixed reactions, but I assured them that he wouldn't come between our friendship. Harry had been happy at the news; he must have seen it happening after that eventful morning at Quidditch practice. Ron screwed up his nose and said that he was far too old for me. I still wondered myself if that was true. Hermione on the other hand took an hour to speak to me again, she was in shock. But now that we've been going out for a couple of weeks, I think they have come to terms with the idea and are happy for me.

"Hey there, beautiful." Oliver placed a kiss on my cheek and took my hand, "Are you ready for our grand tour?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach, "Definitely."

We started walking at a gentle stroll, chatting about Quidditch, how Percy Weasley was bothering him now that he was Head Boy and how NEWTs are so difficult. He talked an awful lot! Then the topic became more light-hearted, "Did you know that Hogsmeade Village is the only all-wizarding village in Britain?" Oliver asked.

I smiled, "I hadn't a clue!" It felt like the first time I had spoken in a while.

"And that the Shrieking Shack is the most haunted building in Britain?" he recited. He pointed at the derelict building across the field next to us.

"I didn't know that either!" I looked up at him, "Have you learnt all this stuff off for me?"

There was a slight sparkle in his eyes, "Well, I did say I was going to be your tour guide, didn't I?"

"You sure did!"

"The village was founded by Hengist of Woodcroft- I wonder if he was a distant relative of mine?" he laughed to himself lightly, I didn't really think it was funny but smiled any way. "Oh, and this is High Street." He pointed to the cobbled street in front of us, "full of shops and places to visit, such as the Three Broomsticks, Honeydukes, Zonkos, the Muggle Shop, Dervlish and Banges… Where do you want to go?"

"Umm… the Muggle Shop?" I suggested, the title of the shop sounding the safest.

He looked surprised, "I've never been in there before."

"Sounds to me like the perfect opportunity?"

I gave his hand a tug and pushed the door open and walked in where one of the shop assistants excitedly greeted us, "this shop is running completely on Muggle electricity, we've got everything here from televisions, lighting bulbs, Muggle children toys to pens and paper. If you need any help just ask."

I thanked the over excited Muggle enthusiast and had a look around for Oliver who had found himself poking a TV screens, trying to talk to the actors and actresses.

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Oliver, sweetheart, televisions aren't like portraits, the picture you are seeing is a recording, they can't hear you."

"Are you a muggle born?" he looked at me in shock, his head tilted to the side.

"Yes? Do you have a problem with that?" I felt a bit taken aback by his reaction.

He shook his head, "No! Of course not, it's just that I'm a Pureblood, I haven't seen anything like this before…"

"There's a first time for everything, sure!" I encouraged him to explore the shop where he came across a space hopper.

"Do I just… sit on here and… bounce?" he looked a little unsure.

I had to laugh as he lost his balance and landed on the floor, but I could see the determination on his face to get it right. "Hold onto the ears, you muppet!" I sniggered. He just gave me a cheeky glare and with my advice managed to successfully hop around the shop. Another shop assistant suggested he listen to a Walkman, handing over the headphones letting him listen into the song 'Go West' by the Pet Shop Boys which he had an embarrassing dance to. Then he found a telephone and had (too much) fun ringing random numbers from the phone book and talking to unsuspecting muggles. That was until the shop assistant found out what he was doing and threatened to kick him out. It was at that point that I took him by the arm and trailed him. "At times I wonder which of the two of us is older." I stated, feeling a little embarrassed. Maybe I just needed to relax?

"Sorry… mum." Oliver half hid his head in shame, "Where next?"

"Shrieking Shack?"

Oliver snorted, "NO!"

"Why not?"

Oliver looked outraged, like I had just made the most outrageous demand, "It's the most haunted building in Britain! Why on earth would you want to get yourself killed?"

"You're scared, I get it." I reckon I've been in more dangerous situations than a haunted house- being attacked by the memory of Tom Riddle and his giant Basilisk, not forgetting Barbara.

He raised his eye brows, "You go for it, then, I'll wait here."

"I will, one day, you can bet on it." I took a step closer to him, looking him square in the eyes, "Challenge accepted." Oliver had fire in his eyes when I shook his hand as though we were making a business deal. It was at this point that he pulled my body closer and kissed me.

"I'm cold, let's go get a butterbeer." He suggested, taking my hand as we walked towards the Three Broomsticks.

"I've never had a butterbeer before!" I admitted to him.

He laughed, "You're so Muggle, Pinky."

I hated being called 'Pinky' "Please don't call me that." I felt my cheeks redden as I said it.

"Look at your cheeks, though, how can I not call you Pinky when your cheeks are pink and so is your surname?"

I looked at him disapprovingly, "Because… it brings back bad memories."

"Memories of people calling you by your name, Pinky? Don't be silly!" he snorted at me, making my cheeks go even redder, surely this was mockery? "Taste this." He handed me a large mug.

I took a sip. The taste was absolutely vile. I thought I was going to be sick, so I tried to swallow it, but I ended up inhaling it and choking. Oliver thought this was the most hilarious thing he had ever seen. This made me even more annoyed at him, surely I didn't have to be treated like that. I got my mug and slid it across the table to him and made my way to the ladies where I quickly found a toilet and threw up violently.

"Are you okay in there?" it was the sound of a familiar female voice. I opened the door and saw Alicia who looked very shocked to see me. She grabbed me a few pieces of tissue to wipe the cold sweat off my face. I opened the window to let a breeze in. "You're very pale… Do you need help back up to Madam Pomfery?"

"No, I'm fine! Thanks." I looked out of the window willing myself not to cry.

"Are you sure?" she seemed very concerned, "Wait a second, aren't you supposed to be on a date with Wood?"

"I am, yes." I felt the sudden urge to be sick again but it settled quickly. I slowly felt the colour return to my cheeks.

She rubbed my back, "You're looking a lot better now, if that makes you feel any better?"

I nodded, "It was just the butterbeer, it doesn't agree with me." I closed the window, feeling a chill run through my body.

She smiled at me, "Do you feel ready to go back? I'll make sure Wood looks after you."

"Let's go!" I returned the smile, making myself feel a little better. But I needn't have bothered returning as Oliver was surrounded by his friends, "Hey!" I said, announcing my return. Trying to find a space to sit back down beside him.

"Kathryn wasn't too well, Wood." Alicia tried to get his attention as well, but unsuccessfully.

"Oliver?" I raised my voice, poking him in the back, feeling frustration at being ignored after many further attempts to talk to him, "Do you want me to leave?"

"Shhh." Was Oliver's response and he continued talking to his friends about his favourite topic: Quidditch. Puddlemere United had just beaten Chudley Cannons 180-20.

Alicia looked just as disgusted as I felt. I grabbed my bag, coat and scarf and walked straight out the door. "I'll talk to you later." I told her, "thanks for looking out for me."

"Kathryn-" she called after me.

"It's fine, he's made his choice." I walked the length of the cobbled road on my own in attempt to get rid of my anger. I was determined not to let this ruin my day.

"You alright?" I bumped into Neville, who was clearly concerned about me as well, "Ron and Hermione are in Honeydukes, if you're looking for them?"

"Thank you!" I smiled at him, noticing the number of sweets he was carrying, "Enjoy that lot!"

"Kathryn? What are you doing here?" Ron was the first to spot me.

Hermione looked over my shoulder, "Where's Wood? What's happened?"

I shook my head, "I don't want to talk about it. Not here." Even Ron stopped looking around at the selection of sweets at my response.

"That bad?" Ron asked.

"Oooh, what are these? They look nice!" I quickly changed the topic as I felt myself welling up in self-pity. I picked up a packet of Choco-Balls.

"Choco-Balls? They're great, you should definitely try them." Ron replied.

I looked him up and down, "What? To take the bad look of you?" his arms were filled with many different types of sweets I hadn't seen or heard of before- Fizzing Whizzbees, Levitating Sherbet Balls, Droobles, Ice Mice, Pepper Imps and Peppermint Creams.

His cheeks went a little pink, "We're getting stuff for Harry, too, you know."

I decided to grab a few things for Harry as well, I was standing in the queue long enough to pay for the stuff. I started off with Choco-Balls, Chocolate Cauldrons and some treacle fudge then some sugared butterfly wings, pink coconut ice and Honeydukes best chocolate were all added in. I'm quite surprised Hermione didn't say anything to me, with her parents being Dentists, but then I saw that her pile was much larger than my own and I felt pretty good about myself, given the situation.

Afterwards we all walked back up to the Castle and met up with Harry who looked happy to see us. He had a cup of tea with Professor Lupin who had been looking increasingly under the weather recently. Harry told us that Professor Snape gave him a potion to drink. The others were surprised that Lupin drank it because it is a well-known fact that Snape wants the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. I, for one, reckon that Snape was trying to make his colleague feel better. He isn't the nicest of people, but he wouldn't be stupid enough to kill a colleague.

"Miss Pink! You're not sympathising with Slytherin are you?" asked a suspicious, slightly dramatic Ron.

"Maybe I should if I'm always going to get mocked." I must have come across harsh and sincere as I saw Ron take a step back. It was then that this afternoon hit me. A lump appeared in the back of my throat and tears started streaming from my eyes. "I'm sorry, Ron…" I sniffed.

"Hey, it's okay!" he said, feeling embarrassed, "Uhh… There's no reason to be upset!"

"I'm going to tell the three of you something, that will not go any further than this group, got it?" I spoke, trying to pull myself together. Harry, Ron and Hermione nodded and paid close attention to what I had to say next, "Oliver is one self-centred so-and-so who started calling me Pinky earlier when I got embarrassed. You know how I hate my surname enough without people mocking me for it. I told him not to call me it, but he didn't stop. I left my butterbeer (which, by the way is one of the most disgusting things I've ever tasted) and threw up in the ladies. When I returned, he didn't have any time for me, especially since he was surrounded by his friends. So I left him there. I've probably been melodramatic but I didn't think I deserved it."

"You don't like butterbeer?!" Ron questioned.

Hermione dug her elbow into his side, "Not appropriate, Ronald."

"Sorry…" he apologised, "What's so bad about being called Pinky?"

I sighed to myself, knowing that my three best friends would eventually find out about my past and I was going to have to let them in and trust them. That's what my therapist told me. So I began by telling them about Auntie Barbara.

"Do you remember our Defence Against the Dark Arts class with the Boggart? And mine turned into a lady covered in blood?"

"How can we forget?" the look of disgust on Ron's face said it all.

"Well, that woman was my Auntie Barbara."

Audible gasps came from my three closest friends.

I described her, the platinum blonde hair, pale skin and icy blue eyes that would send shivers down your spine. I told them about the night she brutally murdered my Uncle. How she ran at me with a bloodstained knife, the whole of her body was covered in blood and she looked menacingly at me, like she would kill me, too. I showed them the old scar that she left on my shoulder when she stabbed me in anger when the police turned up.

"So that was her as the Boggart shouting at you?" Harry asked.

I nodded.

"What did the police do?"

"They brought her to a mental health hospital first, where they treated her for her psychotic behaviour and depression. She was also treated for her addiction to the multitude of powders and potions she had hidden around the house. Then they gave her life imprisonment. I'm almost sure she's dead, but my parents haven't talked about it. It's just that dad stopped getting visiting orders..."

Hermione looked at me in shock, "Why would your dad visit her when she killed your Uncle and tried to kill you?"

"My parents tried to make it look like it was all my fault. Because 'Babs just wouldn't act that way without any reason' and they came to the conclusion that it was me being naughty that drove her over the edge."

"How could your parents do that to you? What age were you?" Ron questioned, he couldn't believe what I'd been through. He'd always been brought up in a loving household.

"Eight."

"Oh, Kathryn…" Hermione put an arm around me.

"So… where does the Pinky come into it?" Harry added as sensitively as possible.

"Well…" I began, "After the incident, I was off school for a few weeks when I was recovering from my injuries. Mum started telling me that she hated me for what I'd done. She told me that I had been a bad egg ever since I was born. Mum also told me that I was very lucky for her to look after such a bad person and that I should be very grateful to be alive and Barbara should have done a lot worse to me when she had the chance."

"They knew? Your parents knew she hurt and threatened you and did nothing about it?" Hermione was flabbergasted.

"So when I got back to school I was even more quiet and withdrawn than before. The few friends I did have rejected me as soon as I made an appearance. I paid loads of attention in class, got all my work done and tried to avoid-"

"You were bullied, weren't you?" Harry asked, sounding to me like he knew how I felt. His life mustn't have been easy. His Aunt and Uncle were cruel to him, he had no parents to back him up and he was treated like vermin…

"I got called 'Kath in the blood bath', 'Kath the psychopath' and later when my teachers stepped in and got me a counsellor, I became 'Pinky at the shrink' and 'Pinky the fatty' when I started gaining weight. I ate for comfort, I didn't leave the house, I sat in my bedroom or with a counsellor. After a while I just became known as 'Pinky'. My magic came in when I was nine and a half and that gave people another reason to think I was weird, except they became scared of me and to be honest I scared myself with the things I could do. Then Professor McGonagall came to the rescue just before my eleventh birthday and told me that I was normal in my own, very unique way and I haven't looked back since. I've come a long way from that person and I don't ever want to relive those memories and I really don't want people to know and start judging me and treating me differently because of my past."

"Kathryn, we will never treat you any differently, we love you, we all love you!" Hermione insisted staring down Harry and Ron who both awkwardly agreed with coughs and slight nods of the head. "And I'm sure if you just explained to Wood-"

"He can't know!" I said instinctively.

"Why?"

I couldn't answer the question, not honestly. I was seriously doubting myself again, wondering if it was wise to keep telling people what had happened. To keep letting out secrets, things of the past, things that ought to be kept hidden. That, and the fact I had absolutely no idea what to do about Oliver. I couldn't forgive him, not right now… "Let's get dinner." Was my response.

"Great idea!" Ron said, getting up from his seat.

"You just can't keep pushing people away, Kathryn." Hermione said at the same time.

"I believe I can do what I like." I began to get slightly defensive.

"Look. I understand you've experienced a lack of love all your life, and I'm guessing you're afraid, but sometimes when someone nice wants to be with you and spend time with you, you've just got to take that leap and trust yourself. Do something that makes you happy. Don't push him away like you've done with others…"

"I know I've got issues, Hermione, but this whole boyfriend/ girlfriend thing works both ways, you know."

Harry, Ron, Hermione and I felt extremely full and sleepy after the feast. On our way up to the Gryffindor Common Room we suddenly came to a halt. "What's going on?" Harry asked about, but no one seemed to know. Standing on my tiptoes, I saw the commotion surrounding the Fat Lady's portrait. There were slashes taken out of the canvas, as though a very large dog or wolf had clawed at it and shreds of the painting were lying on the floor.

"The Fat Lady! She's gone!" Ginny shouted down to the crowd.

Professor Dumbledore pushed through the crowd of people, sending the ghosts to search the rest of the paintings to find the Fat Lady but Peeves the Poltergeist swooped in to his attention. "Professorhead, he got angry when she wouldn't let him in, sir… Nasty temper he has, that Sirius Black."

The crowd tumbled into fear and Dumbledore quickly and calmly ordered us all to return to the Great Hall were we were to sleep for the night. I didn't reckon much sleep was going to go on, especially with a killer on the loose. The tables were moved to the sides of the Hall and Dumbledore formed pillows and purple sleeping bags for us to use. Harry, Ron, Hermione and I grabbed ours and got a spot in the corner.

"Kathryn?" Oliver shouted and I turned, "Oh Kathryn! Thank Merlin you're okay!" he hugged me and kissed my forehead repeatedly. I tried to push him away, but he was holding me with such strength. "Where have you been?" he cupped my cheeks, "I've been looking everywhere for you! I was so worried! You just walked off and I couldn't find you and then I heard about Sirius Black and then I thought the worst-"

"Shut up, Oliver." I finally got the strength to push him off me, "You ignored me, you made me feel like I wasn't wanted, or good enough, you called me names so I left, I think that's fair enough, is it not?" My heart was racing, I was angry, who was he to turn up and pretend like he cared when he told me to shush.

"Look, I'm really sorry, I'll do anything to make it up to you…" He rubbed his hand up and down my arm, trying to comfort me, as I was clearly making a scene in front of the entire school.

"Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't." I grabbed his hand and pushed it away, "I don't know if I want to take that chance again. You were selfish and arrogant and concerned about yourself and what you wanted and you didn't ask anything about me or how I was feeling. I don't want be someone for you to make a joke of, Oliver." I felt a lump at the back of my throat and a single tear ran down my cheek.

"I know, I'm sorry…"

"I don't want to be made a fool of." I turned my back on him to see Hermione, who I wrapped my arms around and cried. Both Harry and Ron stood tall in my defence.

I felt Oliver's hand rubbing my back gently as Hermione interrupted him from saying anything more, "Perhaps you might want to discuss this tomorrow when you've both hand time to think things over… Kathryn's just dealing with a few things at the minute, Wood please be patient with her."

He nodded and walked off towards his sixth year friends and I tried to pull myself together.

"Alright everyone, show's over, everyone get into your sleeping bags, lights off in ten minutes." The sound of Percy Weasley's voice boomed across the Great Hall. "Are you alright?" Percy had walked over to our corner.

"I'll be fine. Goodnight, Perce."

After my friends stopped fussing over me, as soon as my head hit the pillow I fell straight to sleep.

I had been transported back in time. To the day that Peter was born.

"Don't touch him!" my mother scolded me as I placed my finger in his hand. His hair was blonde and he was so peaceful. I took a step back as I had never been told off before, not like that.

Then Auntie Barbara swarmed into the room, "Oh, I'm an Auntie! Congratulations Helen! He's beautiful."

Before I knew it, people swarmed into the already cramped hospital room, Granny and Grandpa Pink, Granny and Grandpa Roberts, then Uncle Gary with Auntie Barbara, Auntie Jenny with Uncle Steve with my three cousins Emily, Josh and Max and then Auntie Marie with her (then) Boyfriend Mark. Seventeen people meant that I was pushed to the side. Seventeen people meant that I left the room and had a walk around the wards by myself, getting caught by a midwife and being returned to my family to get the response, "Oh, she'll be fine." They didn't even realise I was gone. When Peter was born everything changed.

I then transported to when I was six and being looked after by Barbara, I touched what looked like pink sweets on the counter in the kitchen. When Barbara noticed that I almost had one in my mouth, she slapped me and put my hand on the cooker where she had been stewing a pot of tea. 'You will NEVER touch anything that isn't yours without my permission. Do you want me to chop your hand off?' The sound of her attacking words forever cemented into my brain. I could feel the pain, the intense heat on my hand and how it blistered, went raw and had me in unbearable pain for weeks.

I skipped forwards a few months when Barbara was at the toilet and I was sitting in her bedroom after having a bath and I was looking in her top drawer for some of the coconut smelling hand lotion she often used, when I came across a bag with a white substance in it. I poked it with my finger; it didn't feel like sugar or flour. When Barbara realised what I had seen, she slammed the drawer shut and hit my face into the corner of the table, millimetres below my eye, showing up a lovely purple bruise in the next few hours. 'You will NEVER look in my drawers ever again, or I will gouge your eyes out and you will never see again.' Another phrase I will never forget, as long as I live.

I fast forwarded to the last day I ever saw Barbara. She picked me up at school at half two. She seemed a little off, but nothing that I was worried about. As time passed, I realised that her hands were shaking and she couldn't sit still. She made a lot of phone calls to many different people, making the same plead 'Please bring me more', 'I don't think I can survive any longer', 'I'll pay double' and 'I have none left'. Uncle Gary arrived home around half four, which was extremely early for him. He saw me in the front room and whispered, "Did Barbara hurt you today?" and I replied, "No, I think she's sick. A man came to the house and brought new medicine, she is in the kitchen." So Uncle Gary went to see where his wife was, ready to confront her about her hurting me, but he got more than he bargained for. Sending Peter and me to bed, I heard the two of them arguing, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE." "YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!" "YOU'RE SO SELFISH!" were a few of the statements heard as I snuck back downstairs to see what was going on. The door to the kitchen was open as Gary had Barbara pinned on the floor. I saw Barbara holding a knife. I saw Barbara stabbing her husband many times. I called for an ambulance. She ran at me with the knife in her hands, covered in Gary's blood, her ice-blue eyes threatening me. Barbara returned to the kitchen to clean up and the police arrived. She grabbed me as her hostage, an advance of a policeman saw Barbara stab my upper arm and I cried out in pain as I fell to the ground when Barbara herself was shot in the shoulder.

"KATHRYN?" I heard a familiar voice, as I woke from my nightmare. "Kathryn, wake up!" I felt someone shaking my shoulders.

I woke up with the shot of the gun, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. I grabbed onto my shoulder which was throbbing. I wondered where I was, what I was doing and why so many people were surrounding me.

"Let's get her out of here." Another familiar voice sounded. I couldn't relax. I could hardly see. I just kept breathing faster and faster. I went in and out of sleep, reliving the worst memories of my life. Fainting in Snape's class. Hearing people snigger and laugh, calling me Pinky. My mother shouting at me, telling me that I was a mistake. Being slapped in the face last year. Oliver telling me to shush. Being attacked by the Basilisk. Breaking my arm. Getting my hand burnt. Falling down the stairs. Sirius Black attacking me. School children singing "Pinky at the shrink, Pinky at the shrink, we all think she's gone mad, Pinky at the shrink." Everything happened all at once. I prayed that I would just die. I prayed that the shot had hit me. BANG. I heard it again. Then everything stopped.