1st November

I finally opened one eye and then the other to recognise the (all too) familiar surroundings of the Hospital Wing. I turned my head to see Madam Pomfery swiftly making her way towards me. Speaking softly, she performed a few spells and nodded to herself, "You-"

"Had a panic attack? I know, I used to have them all the time as a child."

Madam Pomfery didn't seem to be phased by my statement, "It's just gone three in the afternoon. You have missed today's classes. Mr Potter, Miss Granger and Mr Weasley had visited, but were chased by Professor McGonagall. There was a note left for you." She pointed to the bedside table, a blank envelope was resting on the lamp.

I reached for it and ripped it open. It read,

I'm sorry. Can we talk?

I knew the handwriting, but I had more to deal with as Professors McGonagall and Lupin approached my bedside.

"How are you feeling?" Professor Lupin asked.

"I'm okay." I nodded.

"You gave everyone a fright last night!" he replied.

I shook my head, "I was getting murdered in my dream. I couldn't wake up, I had no choice but to… die. It was like reliving the past."

Professor McGonagall took a step forward, taking the seat beside me, "Was it your aunt?"

"Yeah, but it's okay! The nightmares ended the last time I had a panic attack. It's just that everything bad seemed to happen. I was out in Hogsmede with Wood and it didn't go so well and-"

McGonagall leaned forward sincerely, "Did he hurt you?"

"No, not in the way you're thinking. He just seemed more interested in himself and what he wanted rather than me. I thought he liked me, but he's so immature and self-centred. I think I deserve more than that, don't you, Professor? I just wanted a shot at being happy. At being… normal?"

"Don't we all?" Professor Lupin chuckled to himself then rubbed the smirk off his face, "We've got to accept it, get up and get on with it. You can't run from it. You can't hide from it. It has happened, you can't change the past, but you can change your future. We're both here if you want to talk about anything or if you think anything might help."

"Thank you." I meant it.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and stood, "I think we should leave Miss Pink and Mr Wood to discuss a few things. I expect to see you in my class tomorrow, and you know where my office is."

I didn't even realise that he was standing there.

"Hey…" he said, trying not to look at me too much.

"I think you'd better take a seat." I gestured to the one by my right side.

He looked at his hands, which were restless on his lap, "Look, Kathryn, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have acted that way, I've really messed up and upset you…"

"Yeah, you have…" I spoke without thinking, but it was true, "I don't think the entire school appreciated my near death experience in the middle of the night."

"Are you okay?" his eyes met mine and immediately dropped to his hands again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a few personal issues…"

His eyes met mine for a little longer than before, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I moved my legs to sit on the edge of the bed and placed my hand under his chin, "You can look at me, that might be a start! I'm not going to break or turn into stone or start screaming! Promise!" He looked up and I smiled, "that's better, isn't it?"

He nodded to me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go for it."

He put his hand on mine, "What happened last night?"

I knew I had to tell him, "When I was younger, my auntie murdered my uncle in front of me, my parents hate me, blame me and would prefer me to be dead. Hogwarts has been the first place where I have felt accepted. I confronted a boggart Dementor in Defence Against the Dark Arts which lead me to relive that horrible afternoon all those years ago. It struck up a lot of bad feeling and with you treating me like you did, it opened up a whole can of worms causing a nasty nightmare which lead to a panic attack in the middle of the Great Hall, surrounded by the entire school. And just to make it worse, people probably thought I was being attacked by Sirius Black which caused mass panic. I'm so embarrassed. Please don't tell anyone…"

"I won't. I promise." Then he asked the dreaded question, "Are we okay?"

"Let's be… friends?"

"You're going to make me win you back, aren't you?"

"I think I just need a bit of space." I tried to let him down lightly.

Oliver nodded, "We can just take it slow."

I didn't think he was understanding what I meant, "What I'm saying is, I don't want you to be my boyfriend right now."

"I get it." He smirked to himself and left to get dinner. I dread to think what was going on in his head.

After dinner, I was released from the hospital and found Hermione in the Common Room, head in a book as usual. Harry and Ron looked to be in deep discussion and life at Hogwarts seemed to be normal once again. The topic of conversation seemed to be how Sirius Black managed to get into the Castle unnoticed. Crazy suggestions were thrown out, such as Sirius being able to transform into plant pot. Others included Sirius stealing a broom or a more senior student worried if he was using polyjuice potion. He could be anyone. But how would Peeves have known it to have been Sirius? I wondered if he was an Invisibilia, like me.

I decided to get away from the noise of the common room and went to take a bath. I had to come to terms with what had happened in the last 36 hours.

"Ooooh, everyone's been talking about you and that Sirius Black." A familiar face appeared from the tap in the sink opposite.

I sighed. Moaning Myrtle was the last person I wanted floating around the bathroom when I was trying to relax in the bath.

"You woke up the entire school last night. That must be a new record!" Myrtle was really rubbing it in.

"Thanks for the reminder." I laid my head back against the side of the bath and closed my eyes.

Myrtle continued, "I heard that you couldn't breathe. Someone said that Oliver Wood wasn't very nice to you. A girl in here earlier said that you looked like you had seen someone die."

I laid perfectly still, focusing on my breathing and trying to lower my increasing heart rate, "Sounds about right." I opened one eye to see a mixture of emotions on Myrtles transparent face.

"I want to know what really happened." She sat on the ledge beside my head.

"If you don't mind Myrtle, I'm in the middle of something here." I pointed at the bath. She got the hint and disappeared through the wall.

In the silence, my thoughts were reverted back to Barbara, images flashed through my mind. I relived the scene where she stabbed Gary, then when she stabbed me. My thoughts then changed to the previous afternoon where Oliver looked up at me and shushed me, like I didn't matter. I saw Ron and Harry who would get on well by themselves. Hermione had books and studying, she would be okay by herself. My parents would rather have me dead. Yet, I've been shot at, stabbed, suffocated, slapped and I'm still alive. I'm meant to be alive. I have defeated the odds. I can survive anything.

"Barbara isn't going to win." I muttered to myself.

12th November

I think I'm getting my life back on track again. On Friday afternoons we have DADA with Professor Lupin which is the perfect way to end classes for the week. Today, however the smile was wiped cleanly off my face as I saw Professor Snape standing at the front of the classroom. Lupin must be sick.

"If you would like to take a seat, Miss Pink?"

"Sorry Professor…" I gave myself a shake as I zoned back into reality.

I could see a sly smile on Snape's face, "Unless you're going to collapse, have a panic attack or cause some other form of disruption in this class."

"That is totally uncalled for!" I said calmly as I slammed my bag on my desk and took a seat.

"Would you like to lose points for Gryffindor?"

"No, Professor, I would just appreciate that you keep your incredibly large nose out of my personal business. If I don't feel well, I will let you know, but some of these things are out of my control." I looked at him in the eye and almost dared him to penalise me.

He took a step back and started teaching.

"That was incredible." Ron whispered to me.

"Turn to page three-hundred-and-ninety-four." Snape stared at me, trying to make me feel uncomfortable, but as he has just found out, two can play at that game, so I stared back.

"Werewolves? We're supposed to be starting Hinkypunks!" Hermione is clearly incapable of restraining herself.

Snape broke the stare and said in his deadly voice, "Miss Granger, I was under the impression that I was taking the class, not you." He took a breath, like he was restraining himself, "Now, all of you. Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and an animagus?"

I silently prayed that Hermione had the sense to not answer the question, but clearly not, as I saw her arm shoot up in the air and heard those silly noises she makes like she's trying to touch the ceiling.

Snape ignored her.

If I was her teacher, I probably would.

That's horrible of me, isn't it?

"Anyone…?"

Parvati spoke up, "We told you, we haven't gotten as far as werewolves yet, we're still on-"

"Silence!"

"Please, sir." Hermione spoke and I kicked her chair that was in front of mine, but she ignored my warning, "An animagus is a wizard who elects to turn into an animal. A werewolf has no choice. With each full moon he no longer remembers who he is. He'd kill his best friend. The werewolf only responds to the call of its own kind."

"That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," Snape said unemotionally, "Five points will be taken from Gryffindor, for being an insufferable know-it-all."

Hermione turned her back to Snape to get a tissue out of her bag. Both Ron and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. The whole class was glaring at Snape. Everyone has called Hermione a know-it-all at least once, Ron being the person who does so at least once a day, but even he didn't agree with it.

"You asked a question and she knows the answer!" Ron said loudly, "Why ask if you don't want to be told?"

The class instantly knew he'd gone too far. Snape advanced in our direction, sat on the edge of my desk, his face was millimetres from Ron's as he spoke ever so smoothly, "Detention, Mr Weasley."

The rest of the class continued in silence with a sigh of relief at the sound of the bell. Disregarding the two rolls of parchment he asked for homework.

Ps. Ron has to clean the bedpans in the hospital wing, without magic for his detention.

14th November

Over the past few days the Gryffindor Quidditch team have been practicing every night in preparation for the match against Hufflepuff this weekend. It had originally been set against Slytherin, but Draco was still claiming that his arm was sore. I don't blame him though, the weather running up to the match has been terrible. The storms never seem to end. I haven't talked to Oliver since the afternoon on the hospital wing, I'm guessing he's busy, either that or he's giving me the space I asked for. Don't get me wrong though, he's said hello and smiled, as he grabs Harry for a team talk, he must be a nice guy, deep down.

As the match was about to start, the thunder and rain was it its worst. The Gryffindor Quidditch team couldn't even walk in a straight line towards the grounds. We couldn't even hear the sound of the whistle to begin the game. At the side lines Ron, Hermione, Neville and I alongside the rest of Gryffindor were soaked through to the skin and absolutely frozen.

After about twenty minutes of play, Gryffindor were fifty points up, Oliver called for a time out.

"I wonder how Harry is managing to see out of his glasses, Hermione?" I said curiously. "He could probably do with a pair of wipers!" and with that statement, Hermione disappeared. Next thing I saw her on the pitch, performing a spell on Harry's glasses. Oliver looked as though he could have kissed her. I guess I would know that look.

Once the match continued play, Gryffindor scored another ten points and Harry swerved dramatically and the stadium was filled with an eerie silence. It was as though someone had switched all the sound off. I got the familiar cold feeling in my stomach that I would never be happy again. That could only mean one thing… dementors. Harry was surrounded and definitely in trouble. He twisted and turned to avoid the dark, cloaked beasts. Then we all stood helpless as he fell of his broom and hurtled towards the ground faster than you or I could imagine. Dumbledore, reacting swiftly, performing a spell for Harry to have a softer landing. I could hear the thud. He was unconscious.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could to Harry's limp body. He was surrounded by other concerned students but I pushed past.

"HARRY! HARRY! Can you hear me?" I placed both my hands around his head and neck to support him. I could feel a weak pulse. "Harry, it's Kathryn, can you open your eyes for me?" By this stage Madam Pomfery had been summoned. His eyes started to flicker but they didn't open.

I followed the instructions given to get Harry onto the stretcher and into the Hospital Wing. Harry was given a number of injections and was checked over using a number of spells to check for concussion, broken bones and other damages. I sat by his side until I was joined by Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Alicia, Angelina and Katie. The eight of us were engaged in conversation waiting for Harry to awake from his deep sleep. Ron was carrying the remnants of Harry's broom that flew into the Whomping Willow. It had been smashed to pieces.

"That was very good of you three to get Harry's broom." I smiled at Ron, Fred and George.

"We picked up a few sticks, you helped save his life." George said in almost a whisper.

"Well, as you can imagine, Madam Pomfery and I have spent a substantial amount of time together and I've learnt few tips." I replied as though it wasn't the first time in months George had spoken to me.

"It was lucky the ground was so soft." Ron added.

"It was lucky that Dumbledore helped soften the fall." Hermione corrected, and Ron shot her a dirty look and an obscene gesture. I chose to ignore it.

"I thought he was dead for sure, he fell so fast…" Angelina bowed her head in a moments silence.

Alicia nodded, "It was the scariest thing I've seen in my life."

"Yet, he didn't even break his glasses," I said as I lifted them from the side table.

Harry's eyes snapped open. His face was pale and clammy.

"Harry!" Fred was the first to speak, "How're you feeling?"

"What happened?" Harry sat up so suddenly.

"Harry please, you need to rest." I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"You fell off," said Fred, "Must've been- what-" he looked around the room at all our stunned faces, "fifty feet?"

Hermione looked like she was about to cry. Katie shivered.

"But the match," Harry questioned, "What happened? Are we having a rematch?"

I didn't know. But the faces of everyone else said it all.

"We didn't… lose?" Harry sunk back into the bed.

"Diggory caught the snitch," said George, "just after you fell. He didn't realise what had happened. When he looked down and saw you on the ground, he tried to call it off. Wanted a re-match. But they won fair and square… even Wood admits it."

"Where is Wood?" Harry asked, it was also the immediate query that popped into my head, he was the only member of the team that hadn't been surrounding Harry's bed.

"He's still in the showers," Fred answered, "We think he's trying to drown himself."

I jumped off the side of the bed and grabbed my soaking wet coat.

"Where are you going?" Hermione demanded.

I was disgusted, "I don't see any of you going to help him, for all you know Oliver could actually be…" I knew how much winning in his final year meant to him.

"But you two are over, remember?" Ron stood.

I saw a smirk appear on George's face.

"I'm not going to let him do something stupid. I'm going to check to see if he's okay. And I'm certainly not going to end up going out with him again. Is that okay?"

So for the second time that day I ran as fast as I could. Straight out of Hogwarts' front door, down the muddy hill towards the Quidditch changing sheds I went. Completely out of breath I shouted, "OLIVER?" As I burst through the door.

I got no response. I heard the sound of the shower in the male bathroom. I opened the door. "OLIVER?" He was lying there on the floor, full uniform on… crying. I carefully switched the water off and sat down on the floor beside him.

"Are you okay?" I said after a minute.

"Do I look okay?"

"Not particularly."

"Why are you here?"

"Because I was the only person who thought to leave Harry's beside to check up on you."

He cried a little more, I was mean but it was sadly true.

"Well, you've checked, you can go now."

"I could, yeah, but I'm not."

"Fine." He said.

We sat in silence for what felt like an hour before he spoke next, "I'm sorry you had to find me like this." He wiped a stray tear off his face.

"I of all people understand what it's like to keep negative feelings to myself. Sometimes you just have to let it all out, and I'm probably one of the best person to talk to."

"You broke up with me."

"That doesn't counter that I said I'd like to be friends. I'm trying to be a friend to you, Oliver, I think you need one right now."

"Thanks." It was the first time he looked at me, "I just-"

"Really wanted to win?"

He nodded, "I wanted my last school year to be perfect and now I've lost you, lost my first Quidditch match and…"

"Oliver, I'm sorry, but its honestly not the end of the world. You've got your health. I'm still willing to be your friend and the guys were discussing that there's still a chance you can win the cup."

"Speaking of health, how is Harry?"

I was surprised to hear the change in Oliver's tone, "He's awake and talking and just as gutted as you are."

"I'm glad he's alright."

It seemed Oliver had calmed down a bit, "Yeah, me too, do you want to come see him?"

The look on his face suggested that would be his worst nightmare right now. Maybe out of shame for not being there in the first place. Or because he couldn't look at him for not catching the snitch. Either way Oliver clearly didn't want to go anywhere near the hospital wing.

"Or shall we just get some hot chocolate and head up to the common room?" I suggested.

He nodded and I stood to help him up. He placed his arm around my shoulder to steady himself. He must have been sitting there far too long.

"Can I make a confession?" Oliver said as he hopped alongside me.

I raised an eyebrow, "Yeah…?"

"I came in after the match to take a shower, turned on the water and kicked the wall and… fell and…"

"Now you can't walk properly cause you've hurt yourself." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Basically, yeah." He was ashamed, "HEY! Stop laughing!"

"Lucky thing I was your woman in shining armour." I joked, "Come on, let's get you up to the castle."

The two of us made our way up to the castle slowly but surely. Oliver hopped as I essentially carried his weight. The ground was slippery and twice as muddy as it had been on my trip down to the Quidditch changing sheds. On the way up the hill, Oliver particularly struggled, bearing his entire weight on me, he must have really hurt himself. As we approached the castle and I managed to push the door open, covered from head to toe in rain, mud and sweat…

"Just a wee bit left to go now Oliver, come on…" I puffed as I continued to assist him. He winced as he placed his bad foot on the floor and toppled over in pain.

"Ahhhhh!" Oliver cried out.

"HELP!" I shouted, but the corridors were seemingly empty.

"Kathryn? Is that you?" I head the familiar voices of Fred and George and they came swiftly to my aid, taking Oliver under the arms and helping him back up to his feet.

"I've got him." Fred formed a wheelchair and sped off towards the hospital wing.

That left George and me alone for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, placing an arm around me.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"You don't look like you're fine."

"I just need to get out of these wet clothes and-"

"I'm bringing you around to get you checked out, no matter what you say. You just carried the burly 6ft1 Oliver Wood up that hill there. You did good, girl. Come on."

So George guided me around to the place I never seemed to leave. I could probably walk there in my sleep, but having George's arm around me gave me that feeling of comfort I hadn't experienced in so long. The conversation was light and friendly but nothing like it had been… "Oh, by the way." He randomly blurted out, "Thanks for keeping an eye out on Ginny after what happened last year."

"Oh, no problem, she's like a sister to me." It was true.

The smile George gave me said more than a thousand words of gratitude. That's when we entered the hospital wing were Oliver was being treated for a broken foot and Harry was walking around his bed stretching his legs.

"Madam Pomfery," George spoke, after Oliver had been left to rest, "Kathryn needs to be seen too, she-"

"Looks like she's been through the wars again." Madam Pomfery looked me up and down in her usual way, "Take a seat here, Miss Pink."

"George?" Oliver called from the bed beside mine, the curtains weren't pulled.

"Wood?" he responded.

"Come here a sec, I've got to tell you something." As George approached, Oliver whispered something into his ear which sparked off a massive smile on George's face. He nodded to Oliver and looked at me, then smiled back to Oliver. Curiosity took over as the two boys shared a chuckle and I felt myself blush. I felt like a little girl all over again.