-The Muus-

How does one classify something that is more food than foe? Such is the dilemma with the odd creature known properly as the Muus, but commonly spelled Mousse after the completely harmless dessert it resembles with uncanny precision. While it is true this slime-like monster is most definitely alive and most definitely not as harmless as its namesake, classifying it further presents numerous problems. As one who has spent his life studying all the various life forms that inhabit our strange world, few are as strange as the Mousse slime.

How do I begin but with more questions? This thing we call a Mousse is an enigma, an evolutionary fluke. It resembles nothing more than a child-sized mound of yellow goo at first glance. One may even suspect it to be an inert pile of some organic build up, like true slime from worm-beasts such as the Urok or Bonnacon. Those curious enough to attempt to disturb the pile without proper precautions are in for a rude surprise, however.

Forgive an old man his memories for a moment, if you will. Once, when my granddaughter was just a small child, barely out of diapers, I happened to come across one of these oddities of nature and bring it home with me. I knew what it was, of course, but my innocent little Relm did not. She immediately stuck her finger in the pile, only to have a mouth-like orifice peel back away from her intruding digit, then quickly clamp down on it like a suckling baby. The effect was unpleasant, but harmless - I had long since removed the Mousse's tiny barbs that pass for its teeth. My little Relm, however, had no idea what was happening. She screamed and flailed her arms with all her little strength, disturbing the Mousse further. It was about as large as her, and would not be flung about so easily. One chubby fist pounded on the creature while the other shook it violently in an attempt to get free. The Mousse vibrated like jelly and each fist sent globules of yellow slime hurtling across the room. I quickly pulled her free from the quivering mass and placed the equally upset Mousse back in its container. Relm cried horribly...until she instinctively put her slime-slick thumb in her mouth. And thus, as countless others have discovered since ancient times, the girl discovered a startling fact about the Mousse - it is delicious.

Do not let my reminiscing fool you, though. Tasty it may be, but a wild Mousse is not as tame as my story suggests. People and beasts alike have hunted the poor creatures for millennia to procure the honey-like extract from its body, and it has learned to adapt to such violations. While not violent by nature, it reacts violently to being disturbed, and will bite anything it comes into contact with. The teeth are not large, but they work well enough to dissuade pests looking for an easy treat. The mouth can form anywhere on the body, and the teeth float around the mobile mouth to surround and clamp down on whatever is irritating the Mousse with surprising force, seeing as the Mousse has no internal structure of bones or muscles to give it strength. My granddaughter was lucky I had removed the teeth from our little friend, otherwise she might have ended up losing her finger. As it was, she had a bruise for several days on her finger.

Besides teeth, the Mousse can fling blobs of its own form at persistent attackers, miring them in the sticky ooze and slowing them down enough for the Mousse to escape their grasp. When truly distressed, it will often purposely allow the predator to have whatever chunk of itself it is in contact with, like a lizard shedding its tail. The sacrifice does no lasting harm to the amazingly regenerative Mousse, and is a free snack for the predator as well. This is usually a last ditch effort, however, as a Mousse that gets in the habit of handing out free meals will quickly find itself on the daily menu for creatures remembering the sweet taste and relative ease of snacking on Mousse bits.

One last interesting aspect of the Mousse's behavior is its ability to mass together in groups of other Mousse. Due to the regenerative nature of the slimes, they can easily reproduce themselves by budding and splitting into virtual clones, and it is not rare for travelers to come across entire colonies of Mousse, glistening in the sunlight like fields of amber jewels. It is quite the sight to behold, and I have traveled many miles to catch a glimpse of hundreds of gathering Mousse on display at sunset.

Kohlingen is especially noteworthy for its Mousse populations, which skyrocketed after the Fall due to magical contamination. These mutated strains are much larger and more aggressive than the usual stock, and can actually be a threat to foreigners who think the lumps of slime are as cowardly as in other regions of the world. Twice the size, and with teeth that can bite a man's hand off, these Mousse are no treats, but predators that seek out carrion and digest it, becoming all the more bloodthirsty with each taste of flesh. They will frequently follow the large Harpiai birds that inhabit the region, eager to feast on the massive beast's leftovers.

When encountered in large numbers, a sort of pack mentality takes over the Mousse mind, if mind it has, and it is not uncommon for a single damaged Mousse to sacrifice itself to the others in a process called transfusion. This restores the receiving Mousse completely, but destroys the valiant slime that offers such a gift. And a gift it is, for this odd ability can pep up almost any creature, not just fellow Mousse. I have experienced the transfusion first-hand, and have actually learned to duplicate its effects as Blue Magic. Before you worry, faithful reader, do not think that I would ever use such an ability if it caused the complete absorption of my being into another like it does in the case of the Mousse. When used by a creature that is not the delicate and simplistic slime, it causes extreme pain and weakness, yes, but not total death. I have used the ability in the past to aid my allies in their fiercest battles, and am still alive to sit here and describe the experience. It is a dangerous ability that leaves the user as vulnerable and helpless as a newborn babe, effectively removing them from whatever battle they find themselves in, but the state is recoverable with a good day's rest. But to save my friends from certain death, I would gladly put myself through the experience again, if magic were still possible in this world.

And speaking of magic, I would be remiss if I ignored the Mousse's strange magical defenses, which only truly exhibit themselves in the aggressive Kohlingen strains. Being an extremely flexible, simple creature with no real weak points to speak of, it is naturally resistant to the elements. Wind, rain, earth, and poisons have no effect on it, and it is quite at home underwater, in fierce storms, or buried in sand or mud. The Kohlingen strains take this natural resistance to another level, being completely invulnerable to such forces of nature, even when used as directed magical attacks. Basic fire, extreme cold, or electricity still work wonders at upsetting whatever biological processes keep the Mousse stable, however, and will dispatch them as quickly as any normal beast.

Cooking Mousse is in fact one of the preferred ways of handling them, since it renders them inert while enhancing their flavor and crisping their outsides, like giant marshmallows. Mousse Flambé has been one of Kohlingen's delicacies for centuries, and a must-have dish for any who visit the region. Alternatively, Mousse Parfait is a equally wonderful dish created by chilling the slimes until they freeze into ice cream-like concoctions. Running an electric current through a frozen Mousse then quickly thawing them produces a thick wax that can be used for all sorts of purposes from candles to airtight stoppers. And if that wasn't enough, the Mousse is not only delicious, but quite healthy and filling as well, and is a common foodstuff for long journeys, like a sweet version of wayfarer's bread.

With all these marvelous uses, it is no wonder Kohlingen has developed an entire economy around the beasties, and strictly regulates the hunting of the larger aggressive strains as well as the breeding and farming of the tamer normal variety. The Kohlingen breeding program has produced several varieties of Mousse over the years, each easily recognized by their distinctive colors. An entire rainbow of desserts has been created around the humble Mousse, all as delectable as they are beautiful. Luckily, these multi-colored versions are bred to be harmless, and are no threat to their handlers, but I suspect a mind bent on turning them violent could do so with remarkable ease. And what then? We would be overrun with armies of Red Marshmallows, Purple Bavarois, Black Puddings, White Creams, and who knows what other devilish dishes. There is a folk tale of a particularly rare mutation that was once created and whose flavor and value surpassed all others - the fabled Flan Princess of legend. Whether such a noble slime truly existed or not has been argued for generations. Stories abound over the mythical creature, and I, too, have my own story to tell of it, but that is a tale for another day...