A/N: Hi! :)
After having gived the majority of screen time to Riza, today we will acomppany Roy because, also for him, this situation hasn't been any easy.
Thank you so much for all your favs, follows and reviews :D
See you in two weeks!
Golden and Flame
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist characters don't belong to us. We are just having fun with them.
Chapter 6. Unfulfilled dreams
As was his habit, Roy turned his attention away from the paperwork in front of him to contemplate the outside world that was visible through his window. Despite his firm resolve to do whatever it took to change Amestris, he had always found paperwork to be an extremely boring and tiresome task although he had to admit that it was a means of keeping his mind focused on his professional life rather than his personal one. However, the only benefit he saw to so much paperwork seemed not to be taking effect that day.
Waking up that morning, Roy had woken up knowing it was going to be a difficult day. Perhaps as part of his punishment for what he had done in Ishval, nightmares had become occasional visitors to his mind but, as if his own mind knew how to hurt him in the deepest way, quickly his nightmares were "updated" after Riza's confession. Frequently it would all begin as a sweet dream in which he saw himself at Riza's side holding hands, both with wide smiles on their faces as they made their way to a beautiful sunset, but the peace and joy didn't last long. From one moment to the next, a bundle wrapped in a white blanket would inexplicably appear in Riza's arms. As soon as the bundle moved slightly and a cry was heard, Roy knew it was his son, but as soon as his fingers made contact with him, the baby burst into flames, which also quickly engulfed Riza. Hearing his son's cry and seeing Riza's face of anguish and pain in conjunction with the potent smell of burning flesh was what always woke him up with a start, gasping intensely. The very real sensation he felt in his dreams was so immense that it took Roy several minutes to convince himself that his room had no such smell.
Worst of all, Roy was sure that his mind enjoyed modifying his nightmares to be as close to reality as possible. A few days after being able to see the only photograph Riza had of their son, his nightmare returned but this time he could clearly see how the baby's sparse hair and golden eyes were slowly and painfully consumed by the fire he himself had unwittingly set.
Despite the price to pay for finally knowing the face of his own son, Roy could not say that the discovery was a bad one. In fact it was quite the opposite. After learning of his son's tenth birthday, Roy inexplicably began to feel that something had lightened within his regrets. The simple fact of being able to put a face to his son had given him joy and a certain peace, and had even offered him the opportunity to spend time with Riza again as he had not done for a long time.
On the day of their son's tenth birthday, they had both lowered their own professional barriers and allowed themselves to be honest with each other, just as they used to be when they were just teenagers, before the army, war and lies came between them. They didn't say it explicitly, but with their simple actions and words they shared that day, they both realized that their feelings were not gone. This gave them joy but at the same time considerable pain, because they were both too committed to their goals of improving the country for the welfare of its citizens and, above all, that of their son. Therefore, it was not feasible for either of them to leave the military or to risk starting an illicit affair.
In spite of all these events, for both Roy and Riza, that night served to unburden part of the sorrows they now carried and shared, but above all to bring them a little closer, even if they were only able to reach a friendship. It also helped them to commit themselves even more to their objectives and thus improve their professional performance in the missions in which they were assigned together with their colleagues. They had gradually improved their understanding as a working couple and, being the two highest ranking officers in their unit, they were able to better coordinate their subordinates, considerably increasing their performance as a team. It also looked set to improve further with outside help from Central City, thanks to the information that Maes Hughes was sharing with Roy.
Because of this, Maes' calls to Roy were quite frequent, either to give military information of utmost importance or simply to brag about his wonderful wife, the latter being Hughes' favorite topic of conversation over the phone. In keeping with this tradition, that Friday afternoon and with about an hour to go before the end of the workday for that week, Roy's private office phone rang, snapping him out of his thoughts.
Roy watched the machine for a few moments. Assuming who the person on the other end of the line would be, he decided to brace himself for the cheerful voice of his friend Hughes. Perhaps the talk with his friend would take away the remnants of the grumpiness and brooding that his nightmare had caused him earlier in the day.
As soon as the earpiece made contact with his ear and before Roy could utter a single word, Hughes' energetic and cheerful voice came through the device. "Hey, Roy! How's it going back East, buddy?"
"Hello, Hughes. No news around here, and what about you? But please don't go spending an hour telling me about how wonderful your wife is." Roy quickly added before Hughes started his usual spiel bragging about his wife.
"Come on, Roy, don't be a killjoy, dude. It's been a while since you've seen her, if you saw her now you'd understand why I'm crazy about her and you'd see how beautiful, wonderful, gentle, caring-"
"Hughes..." Roy said in a warning tone to cut his friend short.
"Oh come on, Roy, you haven't even let me finish the beginning." Maes said in a reproachful tone.
"Hughes." Roy sighed. "I've had kind of a hectic week and I'm really not in the mood to listen to all your cheesiness-"
"Cheesiness? That's what you call it, but I think what's going on, my friend, is that you enjoy my stories so much that I cause you to feel like imitating me." Maes mentioned in a joking tone.
Imitate him? Do I really want to be in a similar position to him? Yes, maybe I am envious of my best friend because he can be with the woman he loves, because he has been brave enough to move forward after the war and has gone out of his way to make his wife happy. Without planning it, these thoughts crossed Roy's mind, but he tried to push them away as, in reality, he was very happy for his friend and wished him well.
Getting no response from Roy, Maes continued. "That's why, my friend, you should take my advice and hurry up and board the train of marital life. It is the best thing that can happen to you. Waking up next to the person you love most in the world is the best thing you can experience. So... hurry up and get yourself a wife! I don't want to be left wanting to be your best man."
Roy smiled slightly at Maes' words. Way back when he had told his friend about his plans to marry Riza, Maes had been very happy and excited for him. He still couldn't forget the man's happy face when Roy had asked him back then that, when the time came, he would be his best man.
"I'm so sorry to disappoint you, but apparently you'll have to stick with it. I told you, single life suits me better. It gives you a lot of freedom and the opportunity to meet a lot of beautiful women." Roy lied although he had a strange feeling that Hughes sensed that his dates were either a sham or were his means of trying to forget about his feelings for Riza. He recognized that his friend was a very intelligent, insightful, and trustworthy man, but he didn't feel quite ready to tell him the truth about his dating.
Maes snorted. "Well, you don't know what you're missing, my friend, and I won't give up until I see you happily married to the woman of your life." He said in a solemn tone.
Roy could understand perfectly well what Maes was telling him between the lines, he was obviously referring to Riza. Although over the past few years Roy had reiterated to him on several occasions that his relationship with Riza was over and would have no future, Maes kept insisting every chance he got that this was not true, which gave him the impression that Maes could read his inner self much better than he imagined.
Roy laughed. "Come on, Hughes, don't waste your time, I'm a confirmed bachelor very well in demand with the ladies." He said in a cocky tone.
Maes laughed on the other end of the line as well. "If I didn't know any better, my dear friend, I would tell you that you are a lout. I just hope your subordinates aren't around listening to all that nonsense you're spouting. Lest you later regret what they might hear."
And by subordinates, Roy understood that his friend was referring specifically to one person: Riza. "Don't worry, I'm alone in my office. I'm trying to finish my paperwork so I can finally get away to enjoy my weekend."
Seizing the opportunity, Maes asked cheerfully. "So, are you coming to Central this weekend to visit me and my lovely, amazing wife?"
Roy sighed. Damn, I had forgotten it. Maes had been inviting him to Central for several months for dinner and even to spend the weekend at her apartment with him and his wife. He had avoided going to Central since returning from the war and hadn't checked in with his aunt in a long time, which was why he didn't dare set foot in Central because if Madame found out he'd been in town without stopping by to see her, he'd get in trouble. The last time he had seen her, he had left her with many questions, which she at the time did not press for answers because of the mood he was in at the time. However, through his informants and through the few communications they had from time to time, he realized that Madame was still looking out for him.
"Roy, you can't keep running away from reality. If you're avoiding coming to Central I guess it's because you don't want to face Madame, or am I wrong?" Maes said.
Why the hell are you so perceptive, Hughes? Roy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. They've got you in the investigations area for a reason.
"I'm not running from reality, I just haven't wanted to tell her everything yet." Roy replied in a defeated tone. After returning from Ishval he had only paid his aunt an express visit before heading to Riza's. With the memories of Ishval being so fresh in his memory, they had spent most of the evening drinking together so Roy didn't update her much regarding his personal life.
"Up to what point in your life did you report to him?"
"Until my relationship with Elizabeth had changed. I didn't delve into details and I'm sure she'll ask me for them now."
"Well, if you come tomorrow it may be a wonderful opportunity to clear everything up. Perhaps she will be able to bring you back to the sanity of MARRYING since I have been unsuccessful."
"Don't insist." Roy said a little grumpily.
Hughes snorted. "So, buddy, will you come visit me? I'd really like to see you. I want to share some incredible news with you, but I can only do it in person and, unfortunately, I can't get out of Central right now."
Roy sighed. "That's okay, Hughes. I'll see you tomorrow at Central."
"Great! I'll have Gracia set up the guest room." Hughes said cheerfully.
"None of that, I'll take care of my stay. I'll stay with you during the day and in the evening I'll drop in to see Madame and probably spend several hours with her if I get out of there alive. It will be more practical for both me and you for me to handle it."
"All right, as long as you come I won't object to your plans. Just remember that my house is always available, my friend."
"I know and I appreciate it." Roy couldn't help but smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, Roy."
When the communication went dead, Roy placed the phone back to its base. He exhaled heavily as he swiveled his chair around to return his gaze to the large window behind him. He ran his hands over his face as a knock sounded at the door.
"Come in." Roy replied as he lowered his hands to his lap.
The door opened and gave way to Riza, who walked in and closed the door behind herself. She brought with her some folders in one hand. She approached his desk and she noticed immediately that something was troubling Roy. He turned his chair around again to see her across his desk facing him.
"How can I help you, Second Lieutenant?" He asked in a neutral tone.
"Sir, these documents require your signatures. They are the requisition authorizations for our unit that you requested me an hour ago." Riza replied using her professional tone, extending the respective documents to him.
"Oh, right. I forgot." Roy took them and began to sign them without even reviewing them. Once finished, he arranged them and handed them back to her. "Thank you very much, Lieutenant."
"You're welcome, Sir. Are you sure you don't want to look them over?" She asked as she received them.
He shook his head. "No need, I know your job, Lieutenant. If it was Havoc I'd probably have to redo a couple of forms." Roy let out a chuckle at her last sentence.
She just nodded her head. "Sir, may I ask you something?"
"Go ahead, Lieutenant."
"Are you all right? I've noticed you a little preoccupied during the day."
Roy met Riza's gaze and could notice concern behind her professional mask, the same one he wore every day and only Riza could see past it, just as he could see through hers.
Roy smiled slightly. "It's nothing, Lieutenant. It's just that Hughes has been so insistent on me going to visit him at Central that I've ended up giving in and will see him tomorrow."
There was no need for him to give her details, she was able to understand that wasn't what was mortifying him, even though Roy hadn't told her before.
"I understand, do you need me to accompany you?"
"I appreciate it very much, Lieutenant, but it's not necessary. It's an informal visit, nothing work related. Besides, you need rest and distraction, this week has been a little heavy."
"All right, Sir. Please take care and give my regards to Captain Hughes." Riza said with a slight smile.
He smiled back. "Of course, Lieutenant. Don't worry, I'll be careful and won't forget to pass on your regards."
She just nodded. "Well, I'll step down, sir. Excuse me." And without further ado she left the office, leaving a pensive Roy behind.
The next day, Roy was in the living room of his friend's apartment, chatting with him and his wife. He had thought about traveling to Central in his car, but given the possible talk he would have with his aunt, he knew that on his way back he would probably have too much to think about and wouldn't be able to do it if he got behind the wheel. So he opted to use the train and rent a hotel room, because as nice as Hughes and his wife were, he didn't want to bother them, and although he knew he would be very welcome at his aunt's house, he wasn't quite sure how things would turn out between them after they talked.
Hughes and his wife Gracia were seated on the larger couch with Maes hugging his wife by the shoulders, while Roy was seated in a single armchair located across from them, separated only by a coffee table.
"Tell me, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, is it true that you date several girls from back East?" asked Gracia Hughes curiously and with surprising naturalness, as she sipped her cup of tea, after the 3 of them had eaten together.
Roy laughed lightly. "Please, Gracia, call me Roy. No need for such formality. And as to your question, I must say I wasn't aware that this far east news was coming, but perhaps they are exaggerating a bit."
"My life, my dear friend is refusing the happiness of a marriage. He doesn't know or rather doesn't want to understand what he is missing." Maes jokingly replied.
Gracia gently patted her hand on her husband's chest. "Maes, don't be rude to your friend, maybe what's going on is that he hasn't found his soul mate like we have."
Soul mate, ha, I haven't found her? Of course I have found her, but there are too many things that prevent us from being together, too much guilt, too many obstacles. I can only love her and possibly I will die loving her without being able to shout it to the four winds. Roy thought sadly.
"I think there are people who just aren't born for marriage and I'm probably one of them." Replied Roy quietly, avoiding showing how he really felt at that moment.
Maes could tell what was going through his friend's mind and decided to change the topic of conversation. At Roy's request, he had not told Gracia the story of Roy and Riza's relationship, so he had no way to keep Gracia's initial question from coming up.
"Well, buddy, I'm glad you finally deigned to see me." Maes said in a sarcastic tone.
"I'm sorry, Hughes. I've been kind of busy." Roy said with a shrug.
Maes narrowed her eyes for a moment. "Ok let's say I believe you." Changing his expression to a relaxed and cheerful one, he said. "Well, the point is that I required your presence because I wanted to share some terrific news. It's the best in the world, the best you can imagine, the best your beautiful wife can give you-" Maes said in an enthusiastic tone before being gently interrupted by his wife.
"My love, I think Roy has gotten the point." Laughed Gracia lightly.
"And what is this terrific news?" Roy asked curiously.
"You won't believe me, that's why I insisted on having my beautiful and dear Gracia present." Maes hugged her tighter pulling her even closer to him, a gesture that did not go unnoticed by Roy and made him smile slightly. "My beloved Gracia is expecting a baby! Did you hear? I'm going to be a father!" Maes said very animatedly, finishing with a tender kiss on his wife's forehead.
Roy had not expected this news, but he clearly saw the excitement and joy it had brought to his friend and his wife. Maes had always expressed his wishes to him during his academy days: to marry the woman of his life and start a family. He was happy for Maes, he was practically his brother and wished him well. He knew from the way he and Gracia interacted with each other that they were a formidable couple and would undoubtedly make excellent parents. However, he couldn't help but imagine what it would have been like if Riza had told him she was pregnant. How would he have reacted? Would he have done it with the same energy and joy as his friend? He probably would have been frightened at first, as they were too young at the time, but he had no doubt that he would have been just as or even happier than Hughes and that was already an exaggeration. But, unfortunately, that hadn't happened, he hadn't been able to experience that.
Before his train of thought continued to drag him into a darker and sadder place, he decided to stand up and hug his friend and his wife. "Many congratulations to you both! I have no doubt you're going to be great parents!" Roy said sincerely.
"Thank you so much, Roy." Gracia kindly replied.
"Thank you very much, buddy. Look." Maes began to show Roy some ultrasounds. "These are the pictures of our baby, it' s barely 2 months old, isn't it adorable?" Maes said in a tender tone.
Roy looked at the pictures, but try as he might, he couldn't find any baby there. Raising an eyebrow, he said. "I don't see anything."
"What do you mean you don't see anything? Are you blind?" Maes said with an incredulous tone. "Look, it's right here." He said as he pointed to a small spot in the picture. " It was probably napping at the time because it didn't pose like I would have liked, and that doctor didn't want to take another shot either, but as soon as it's born you'll see how I'm going to take several pictures of all its angles."
Roy rubbed the back of his neck, trying to understand his friend. He understood that because of the gestational time the baby was still very small, but he couldn't believe all the show Hughes was making for an almost invisible dot in a black and white image. He didn't want to imagine what he would do once the baby was born.
"Hughes, I think I see it-" Before he could continue, Maes interrupted him.
"Isn't she beautiful? I'm sure she'll be as beautiful as her mother."
"Isn't it too soon for you to already know the sex of the baby?" Roy asked.
Gracia sighed and smiled, "Excuse him, Roy. It is indeed too soon for us to know the sex of the baby, but Maes is convinced it is a girl."
"I'm convinced it's a girl." Maes bent down to be at the level of Gracia's belly and began to caress it tenderly as he spoke to it in a childlike voice. "Won't you, my little princess? You will be the apple of my eye, my love. Daddy and mommy are already dying to meet you, when you are born daddy is going to buy you lots of toys, take you to the park, we will have lots of tea parties and I'm sure your uncle Roy will join in too." Maes said this last sentence smiling mischievously.
Gracia and Roy just shook their heads as they laughed.
Unable to help himself, Roy kept imagining what it would have been like to be able to experience Riza's pregnancy by his side. Roy tried to hide that slight sadness, but to Maes it did not go unnoticed. Soon after they all returned to sit down and drink their tea. Figuring where his friend's melancholy look was coming from, Maes opted to share just a few more details about Gracia's pregnancy and then changed the subject to military matters and old mutual acquaintances. Perhaps later he would have a chance to talk to Roy privately because he had a feeling he needed to.
After spending a few hours with his friend, Roy was in Hughes' car, headed for Madame Christmas' Bar. Hughes had kindly offered him a ride, but Roy guessed it was because he also wanted to have a chat alone.
"Sorry about earlier, pal. I guess I went a little overboard." Hughes suddenly mentioned in a low tone.
Roy raised an eyebrow in confusion as he turned to look at him. Maes' gaze was focused on the road, but Roy could sense a hint of sadness in his countenance.
"What are you talking about?"
Maes sighed. "I think I got too excited when I told you about having a baby. I know I unintentionally brought back bitter memories and I really didn't mean to. I just wished I could share my joy with my brother."
Roy's throat lumped at his friend's words. He definitely hadn't been able to avoid remembering his son and the woman of his life, but he was also completely convinced that Maes had not done so with the intention of saddening him, but, as he said, to share his joy.
Although Hughes probably couldn't see him as he was driving, Roy shook his head. "You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. On the contrary, I thank you very much for holding me in that regard and for sharing in your joy. I am really very happy for you and for Gracia. I know how much you have dreamed of achieving this and I am glad you are making it happen." He smiled sincerely at the end of his words.
Maes glanced sideways at him, smiling slightly. "Thank you, Roy. Although I'm aware that I inevitably made you remember painful times in your life and I apologize for that. I'll try to control myself when my baby is born."
"Don't worry. I understand your emotion." Roy averted his gaze to his window. "If I'm honest with you, I couldn't help but imagine the way I would have reacted if Riza had informed me of her pregnancy at the time, had I been able to feel my baby in her womb like you are doing with Gracia... But it's too late for all that now." Roy expressed in a melancholy tone before looking back at his friend. "But please, do not hold back on your happiness for my sake. You won't be the first or the last man to cross my path who wants to show me off his family. I have to learn to deal with that. Besides in everyone's eyes I'm a confirmed bachelor, not a man eternally in love with his teenage sweetheart and father to an 11 year old who doesn't even know where he is." He tried to say it all in a slightly calmer tone, cracking a slight smile.
Maes smiled slightly. "You are aware that every time I bother you about marriage I mean marry the hell out of her, right?" Maes said in a more serious tone.
"Of course I am. Only with her would I do it, but you forget the little detail that that's not possible. There are too many obstacles between us."
"Weren't you supposed to have already resolved all your misunderstandings? I remember you even commented to me that you realized you both still had feelings for each other."
Roy sighed deeply as he ran a hand through his hair. "That's right, we fixed all the misunderstandings and I realized that despite everything, I have never stopped loving her and she has never stopped loving me either. However, we have an unspoken agreement to only maintain a professional and friendly relationship."
"Are you serious? I don't get it. If you two love each other so much why are you denying each other the opportunity to be together?"
"Simple, Hughes. For the betterment of the country for the sake of the citizens of Amestris and most of all for our son."
Maes exhaled heavily. " Bro, I agree with what you told me in Ishval and I stand by my position about supporting you with it, because I want the same for my Gracia and my baby. But then why don't you ask her to resign? Then you could be together and I have no doubt that she, as your wife, would still support you and maybe even give you more of a boost."
Roy shook his head. "It's not that simple. I wouldn't dare ask that of her, I know that Ishval has affected her quite a bit and that like me, she is looking for ways to redeem herself. I can't take that away from her, not after I was the one responsible for her following me into the army. Besides, after all the carnage I've caused, I have no right to have that kind of happiness." Roy said those last words with a tone of sadness and bitterness, as he felt his chest tighten.
Maes shook his head. "You two are as good as each other, a stubborn pair. Have you forgotten that I'm a bloody murderer too? Do you think I've forgotten about my involvement with Ishval? In case you didn't know, I'm well aware of it. It's for that reason that every day I strive and help you to fix and improve this damn country. I probably don't deserve my beautiful wife and my beautiful baby on the way, but in that sense I'm greedy and selfish, because I want to have them by my side." He paused slightly. "As I told you on the battlefield, I'm going to fight to make them happy, and in the process I'll enjoy that happiness too. It doesn't matter if when I die I have to spend all eternity in the flames of hell for what I did, because I know that the joy I'm enjoying will definitely be worth it. I want to enjoy every minute that I have them by my side because I am aware that because of what I have done and because of the line of our work, I will not have the right to know when I will die. It's not as if per se we can know, but by our actions we have even less certainty." Maes exhaled heavily, stopped in front of a red traffic light and took that instant to turn momentarily and face Roy. "Roy...we are human, we make mistakes but we learn from our mistakes. Give yourself a chance to be happy. Marry Elizabeth, start a family and I don't want you to take it in the sense of replacing your son, because you'll never be able to do that. I am sure that you and she would give a lot of love to your children and raise them to be good citizens, to not be racist, to be tolerant and to seek peace, just like I am going to do with my baby. They are going to be the future of this country Roy."
The traffic light changed to green and Maes returned his gaze to the road as he put the car in motion. Roy merely turned his face to the window to look out at the buildings of the city as he analyzed his friend's words.
"You really are a dreamer, Hughes."
"Look who's saying it, the same person who told me years ago that he wanted to be the turning point of change for his country." Hughes laughed lightly. "Roy, I'm serious. What you plan to do is a long and hard road, you'll need to have all the support you can get and believe me the unconditional support from a wife gives you a unique boost. Knowing that you have to fight for her and your children multiplies it like you have no idea."
Roy returned his gaze to the road, glancing sideways at Hughes, he laughed lightly. "Hughes, sometimes you are so corny, my friend."
Maes exhaled exasperatedly. "Seriously, Roy, you're stubborn as a mule."
Roy understood perfectly well that his friend only wished for him to be happy, but Roy didn't think he deserved any of that. Maybe when he had rebuilt Ishval, had been tried for his war crimes and that in the hypothetical event that he got off the firing squad or out of jail, maybe he would give himself a chance to be happy.
"I'm sorry, Hughes, but this is not the time for me to be able to afford that happiness."
"And what about her, don't you think she deserves to be happy?"
As soon as he heard the mention of Riza's happiness, his stomach knotted. Did she deserve to be happy? Of course she did, she had suffered too much even before she met him.
Roy exhaled heavily, momentarily placing a hand over his face. "Of course she deserves to be happy." He said simply.
"So?" Maes said, raising an eyebrow.
"I really wish she does, but it's more likely and even better for her to get it beside someone else." Roy said in a defeated tone.
"What the hell are you saying?!" shouted Maes. "Are you out of your mind? After all you've been through together, do you really think it's possible for her to be happy beside another man?" Maes asked incredulously.
Roy ducked his head. "I'd like to say yes, even if it would break my heart into a thousand pieces." He sighed. "But I know she loves me as intensely as I love her, or at least I want to keep believing that. Knowing her as I do I know that she, like me, will not allow herself any happiness until she has redeemed herself. But in a way I think she and I are both aware that we can never do that. We have done too much damage and no matter all we do, we can never get back the lives we have taken."
Hughes parked on the side of a street a block from Roy's aunt's bar. Stopping the car, she swiveled around on her seat to look directly at him. Maes sighed. "Roy, my friend, I'm not going to dwell on that subject at the moment, but I want you to know that you and she have already and are still suffering from what we did in Ishval. You made a commitment to make amends for your mistakes, to get blood on your hands for the sake of making sure no one else goes through the same thing again, unlike many others who didn't even care." He placed a hand on Roy's shoulder and squeezed it lightly in a sign of support and comfort. "I won't lose faith that someday I'll see my best friend married to the woman he loves and, if I'm lucky, in addition to being best man, I'll become an uncle." He smiled slightly at the end of his sentence. "Just try not to take too long, because maybe by the time you want to it will be too late. Remember, we don't have our lives bought, especially us." Maes continued in a more serious tone.
Roy turned to look at him and could see in his green gaze, that he meant it wholeheartedly. He knew his friend was right, but at that moment his guilt was greater than his desire to be happy. At least he would use Hughes' words to hold out a small hope that maybe someday he could afford everything his friend was asking him to do.
With a slight smile, Roy relented a little. "Maybe someday, maybe."
"I'll look forward to that day." Maes said with a longing tone patting him on his shoulder.
After saying goodbye to his friend, Roy headed for the back door leading to his aunt's apartment. He wasn't in the mood to enter through the front of the bar, as he would have to deal with a lot of questions from all the girls and maybe even some acquaintance he might run into on the premises. He still had his key to the place, but since he left that place to go to the academy, he had decided to knock on the door like anyone else would unless his aunt gave him explicit instructions to come in. It had been a while since his last visit and besides, he had not given advance notice, so he thought it best to knock on the door.
After knocking, he was greeted by one of Madame Christmas' girls, who greeted him warmly. "Hello, Roy, what a surprise to have you around! Why didn't you let us know you were coming?" the young woman asked cheerfully as she gave way for him to enter.
"What's up, Vanessa? I'm sorry, but this was all a bit of a spur of the moment thing." Roy replied, smiling slightly.
"Please come in. This is your home after all." Vanessa said winking at him and hugging him after closing the door. "I don't understand why you insist on knocking on the door when you have your own set of keys. Oh don't tell me, did you lose it?"
Roy returned Vanessa's embrace and pulled away from her slightly shaking his head. "I haven't lost my keys. It's just that this is Madame's house, not mine."
"Oh come on, Roy. You know what you represent to Madame. But anyway, I'm not going to argue with you on that point. I'm really glad to see you around. Tell me, do I stand a chance with you on this occasion?" Vanessa questioned cheerfully as she took his arm to direct him to the bar they had at the side of the room.
"What's with the question, Vanessa? You know we can go on a date anytime." Roy replied with a hint of his typical flirtatious smile.
"You know what I mean, Roy, is your heart available to me now?"
Realizing that he wouldn't be able to deflect the conversation as he had hoped, Roy wiped away his smile and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Vanessa, but right now my heart isn't available to anyone and possibly won't be for quite a while."
She raised an eyebrow. "Not even to Elizabeth?" she asked incredulously.
After the war, the only thing Roy could report to his aunt and later the girls had confirmed, was that Riza was working under his command, so to avoid any situation that could harm them, they decided to give Riza a code name of his own choosing.
Roy sighed before looking at her. "Nothing gets past you, does it?"
She gave him a wide smile and winked at him. "If it did I wouldn't work here. Well?"
Roy focused his gaze straight ahead. "If I'm honest, I think she's always been the owner of my heart, and will probably stay that way. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. That's what I wanted to hear." Vanessa said with a sincere smile. "Although it's a shame you don't see each other as much in the way you'd both like to. But hey, maybe that means I'll get a chance someday." She added with a slight teasing tone.
"I hope you don't get your hopes up too high, because right now and for the next few years I'll be focused on other things than love. But that's another subject. Now tell me is Madame in?"
She nodded her head. "She's finishing exchanging information with the girls down south, apparently Aerugo is getting interesting." She said with a slight laugh. "Let me see if she''s done yet to let her know you''re here. In the meantime, can I offer you something to drink?"
He nodded. "Yes please, I could use a whiskey." He said as he sat down on one of the stools facing the bar.
She let go of his arm, nodding. She went behind the bar and placed a glass down to finally pour the requested drink. "Here you go, I'll get Madame."
"Thank you, Vanessa." Roy said before taking a sip of his drink.
"You're welcome." Vanessa replied before retreating in search of Madame.
Roy began to cast his gaze around the room with a bit of nostalgia. Much of his childhood had been spent in the living room of his aunt's apartment, playing games, reading, listening to the radio, among other activities he did at that age. Across the room was a hallway that led to the kitchen and dining room. For some years, he had dreamed that the dining room and the living room would be filled with so much joy when he brought Riza to introduce her as his fiancée. He even imagined that they would come from time to time to visit his aunt with their children, and that perhaps they would enjoy that same room and some of the toys he knew Madame still kept in the room where he had grown up. He took another sip of his drink and without releasing the glass from his hand, stood up and paced the room. Although his aunt was a rigid and perhaps even sullen person, Roy knew that deep down she cherished him and loved him like a son. For that reason he wasn't surprised to see a few pictures of him as a little boy next to his aunt and one next to his parents at the bottom of a high shelf on a bookshelf that stood there.
"Wow, until you deign to visit me, Roy-Boy." A sullen voice was heard from the entrance to the room.
Roy tensed and turned to see her. "Good afternoon, Madame."
She made her way to the bar to pour herself a drink before joining him in the living room, motioning him to sit across from her. "Is this your first drink?"
Roy nodded as he took a seat, feeling the nerves welling up inside him. He really didn't feel ready to face his aunt, but he knew that sooner or later he would have to.
"I'm glad to see that at least this time you're looking better and that you've already controlled your taste for drink unlike the last time I saw you, although I honestly couldn't blame you after what you experienced back there."
"I'm sorry to have worried you, but I think I'm coping better these days and only drink when the occasion calls for it or once in a while, but nothing compared to that time I was here after Ishval." Roy said as he swirled his glass, focusing on the movement of the amber liquid.
"Well, now I hope that after all these years of you not showing up here, you'll deign to open up to me. If I recall correctly, there were many questions left unanswered on that occasion." Chris took a sip of her drink and placed her glass on the coffee table in front of her.
Roy ducked his head and exhaled heavily. "I definitely have no escape, do I?"
"I guess not, kiddo, and I figure that's the reason you haven't set foot around here, that's why you've been avoiding me." Chris grunted then changed to a more serious tone. "You don't know how much you worried me when you went back East alone. You were a wreck and I wasn't pleased at all to let you go in that state, but it gave me some peace of mind to know that your insistence on going back there was because of Elizabeth." She sighed. "I was very surprised when you told me you had met her on the battlefield. But when you told me you had to go see her, it made me assume that she'd probably quit the military and you'd finally patch things up between you, especially considering you'd told me about your plan not to let her go when you returned from the war."
Roy laughed bitterly and took another sip of his drink keeping his gaze downcast. "I'm surprised you still remember."
Chris looked straight at him, trying to read his body language. "How could I not? You'd been telling me about her for too long and I was really hoping I could finally meet her."
Roy sighed. "That was the plan. It was just a matter of settling a matter we had pending and then I could convince her of my feelings, to leave the military and marry me. But... with what I did in Ishval I started to doubt about it, I thought I didn't deserve her but at the same time I didn't want to let her go-" He cut himself off, feeling a lump in his throat forming as he recalled the events that had transpired the occasion when he had burned Riza's back since, during that stay, he had found out he was a father. At the memory, he instinctively tightened his grip on the glass, while his jaw tensed and his eyelids closed.
Obviously this behavior did not go unnoticed by Chris. She shook her head. "Roy, if it doesn't do you any good to talk about it, I won't insist. I just want to help you." She said in a calm tone.
Roy sipped what was left of his drink. He stood up and walked over to the bar to grab the bottle of whiskey. He poured himself another glass and took it back to the living room along with the bottle placing both on the coffee table, then inhaled deeply as he ran a hand through his hair. His every movement was followed under the watchful eye of his aunt.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything sooner, but at the time, as you rightly said, I was a wreck. By now, and with what little I told you upon my return, you know everything I did in Ishval." He paused before resuming his dialogue. "I know you were worried about me and even Elizabeth, but I really didn't have the courage to come and face you. When I went to talk to Elizabeth after the war, she was also devastated about what happened back there. On that occasion I was finally able to learn about her motives that led her to ask me for a pause in our relationship..." He took a sip from his glass. After returning it to the table, he clenched his fists on his knees.
Madame only watched him with concern, she wasn't sure what her nephew was about to tell her, but she was sure it was something too serious to have him in that state.
Roy brought the palm of his hand over his face, his dark hair helping to hide his expression even more. "Mother..." Madame Christmas was slightly surprised to hear him refer to her that way as there were few occasions when he did. She never took credit or instilled in him to call her that way because she didn't want to take the place that belonged to her late sister-in-law, but still she couldn't help but feel joy and pride in knowing that he held her in that regard in his life.
After a few seconds of silence, Roy spoke again. "I have a son." He blurted out the news suddenly, before removing his hand from his face and daring to look her in the eye for the first time during their entire stay, a sign that he was being serious.
Chris made a face full of disbelief and confusion. Is that why he has avoided seeing me? Was he refusing to tell me about his paternity? Why would he do that? The girls haven't informed me that he and Elizabeth are together, so isn't he her son? That can't be possible. Roy-Boy hasn't had eyes for another woman, but he's a man and may have done something foolish. But he mentioned his son just after he was about to start explaining why Elizabeth had asked him for time. How is it all related?She began to mull over in her head, analyzing the gaze of her adopted son, finding a swirl of feelings in it: sadness, pain, guilt.
After a few seconds of staring into each other's eyes, Madame asked in a low tone. "Is Elizabeth the mother?"
He nodded. "Who else could it be? Remember most of my dates are with the girls at the bar and with the other girls in the East it's only about going out to dinner."
"Then why the hell haven't you married her?! You can't walk away from your responsibilities, Roy Mustang. I didn't raise you that way." She said with an annoyed tone.
"Of course you didn't raise me that way, but tell me how the hell could I marry her off without violating the antifraternization laws? You better than anyone else have always known of my intentions with her." Roy spat, taking another swig of his drink.
"Roy Mustang, I forbid you to speak to me in that tone. Remember who you are addressing." Madame growled, giving Roy a hard look that caused him to tense up.
He inhaled deeply trying to calm himself. "I'm very sorry. You're right, I shouldn't have addressed you that way." Again he ducked his head. "The thing is, the plan was always to propose to her, but everything got complicated and now that's practically impossible."
Noticing Roy's change in attitude, she also returned to a calmer tone. "So then, what's going to happen to the creature? Roy, you can't allow him to grow up as a bastard, nor can you allow Elizabeth to be branded as a slut. You know how prejudiced society can be towards young, unwed mothers."
"Don't worry, that's all settled."
"Sure?" Madame sighed. "If she can't resign from the military because of the guilt she has over what happened in Ishval and to keep you both from being court-martialed, I can take care of your son. I raised you, so I guess it won't be too much trouble to take care of him. Besides, I think he'll be easier to handle if he's Elizabeth's son too, he'll probably have more of her character than yours and that's good because, from what you've told me, she's a lovely person and less of a pain in the ass than you are." He smiled slightly. "Not to mention that way, you can both keep an eye on him without raising suspicions in the military. You know how good I am at hiding and finding information." She said, taking a sip from her own glass, a gesture that was mimicked by Roy. "I won't be the first or the last person to take over her...what relation would he have to me?... Hmmm... My great nephew?"
Roy smiled slightly. Internally he was glad to know of his aunt's full support. Not that he didn't know it, but he still couldn't help but feel joy about it. "He's your grandson. Remember that to me you are my mother." He said in a solemn tone. Madame smiled back at him and he continued the talk with a sad tone. "I really thank you. I expected nothing less from you." He looked her straight in the eyes. "But, as I remarked to you, everything is settled."
"Good, I'm glad. But I want to know how you' re hiding him. Though I'd also like to know the little guy's age."
Roy lowered his gaze before answering. "He must be eleven now." He whispered.
Madame raised an eyebrow. "11 YEARS OLD! For God's sake, Roy, why have you kept something so important in your life from me for so long? Aren't you supposed to think of me as your mother?" She replied in shock.
"I didn't know of his existence until a little over 2 years ago." Roy replied with a sad tone. "I found out on that visit I was telling you about. Elizabeth confessed to me in a moment of fragility. When she found out she was pregnant, she was already enlisted in the military and to protect the child and me, she decided not to tell me anything and..." Roy clenched his jaw, feeling a knot in his stomach form as he tried to utter the next words. "To hand him over to a couple who assisted her in the delivery. Shortly after that was when she asked me for some time in our relationship. I didn't know of her presence in the military until the war and I didn't learn of my son's existence until after Ishval."
"Roy..." Madame could not believe what she was hearing, she understood how painful it was for her boy to broach that subject and understood now why it had taken him so long to tell her.
"I don't know him personally, I have only seen him in a photograph that she treasures and for obvious reasons I have not taken it from her. He inherited almost nothing of my physical appearance, he has golden eyes and his mother's hair. I got the impression that maybe he has my nose and, according to Elizabeth, my character." Roy said cracking a small smile at the end.
"Then he must be just as much of a pain in the ass as you were when you were little and my theory that he would be easier to raise is wrong." Chris said in a teasing tone, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
"I wasn't that naughty." Roy grumbled lightly.
"Oh, of course you were, I can never forget it." She replied as she smiled at the memories of her little boy replaying at that moment in her mind. Suddenly something else came to her mind. "Roy-Boy, you say the boy is 11 years old, right?"
He just nodded as he brought the glass to his lips. He could already imagine where Madame was headed.
"Roy! You were only 20 when the little one was born and she was 19? 18?"
"17." Roy replied simply.
" Gosh, Roy! You were still a couple of brats. Didn't I tell you a million times that when you decided to start having sex to do it with your wife? I also emphasized to you that you had to do it with the woman of your life and if, for some reason you decided to do it first, I told you a million times to use protection."
Roy blushed slightly. Of course his mother had mentioned it to him and even at the time he had agreed with her. He wanted to give himself totally to the woman of his life as she recommended and he had definitely fulfilled that by having done it with Riza.
"Yes, you told me and I was okay with it. That's why I didn't carry condoms with me, to avoid temptation, although really the only one I had was Elizabeth. No other woman has ever aroused that in me and, if I'm honest, I've only ever been with her." Roy said coyly, his blush still present on his cheeks. He didn't like sharing his sex life with his mother, but she always had something that made him tell her everything she wanted to know. "We were too young, I admit it. Maybe I should have acted more maturely and used protection on that occasion to spare Elizabeth all the suffering. But I can definitely assure you that it was a total giving of love that I will never regret... although I wish that what happened afterwards had been differently." He sadly said the last words. "What I can tell you, is that you were right that making love to the one you love is priceless."
Roy sighed and paused slightly before continuing. The blush had disappeared from his face being replaced by a slight tightening of his jaw. "When she confessed to me about my son and what she had done with him, I reacted impulsively and said many things to her that I regret...but after a while and for the sake of our working relationship, we patched up our differences and now we are focused on making this country a better place for our son and for all the citizens of Amestris." Roy took the last sip from his glass then poured himself another. "We now only share a working and friendly relationship." He said unable to keep some bitterness from seeping into his tone. "However, I'm sure we both still love each other, or at least that's what I want to believe for my mind's sake. That's why I confessed to her the truth about my 'dating'" He said this last word making the quotation mark gesture with his hands. "Even if it would break my heart, I would want her to be happy even next to another man, one who can give her everything I can't, but she is in the same position as me. She doesn't feel deserving of any happiness after Ishval and what happened with our son."
Roy bowed his head again, sighing heavily. Madame stood up and walked over to him. She sat down beside him and wrapped one of her arms around him, hugging him. "Do you at least know where the boy is? How is he?"
He shook his head. "She lost track of them. She thought the couple was originally from a town in the North, where she had the baby. But, before the war, she went to visit them but found out that the couple had left without saying where, shortly after she had left." Roy said in a defeated tone.
Chris squeezed him lightly in comfort. "You know perfectly well that my intelligence network is at your disposal. One word from you and I can send informants to find them. Hopefully in a couple of months we can track them down and find out about your son." She replied in a slightly encouraging tone, seeking to comfort her boy by trying to give him hope.
Although the offer was tempting, Roy shook his head and turned slightly to look at her. "I really appreciate it, I really do, but I feel it's best that things stay this way. What good would it do me to find him? He's not a baby anymore, he already has a life and he's probably living with the belief that he's that couple's biological child, not Elizabeth's and mine. If we went to him and told him the truth, we would ruin his life and he would hate us for abandoning him for so long, not to mention the military would threaten his life for being the product of an illicit relationship." He paused to inhale deeply, as he watched his free hand, imagining Ishvalan blood running down it. "Besides... I wouldn't have the courage to stand before him. How could I even do that? How could I tell him that his father is a fucking genocide? I'm a monster."
At the last sentence, Roy received a smack on the back of his head from Madame. He quickly placed his hand there to rub himself.
"Don't refer to yourself that way." Chris said with an authoritative tone. "We talked about this last time. Yes, it was wrong what you were forced to do back there, but you're having the courage and guts to remedy things so someone else doesn't have to go through that. Which no one else is doing. You and Elizabeth are getting blood on your hands to prevent someone else from doing it and suffering what you did. So that your son and the other citizens will have a better future."
Roy stared at his mother and realized that her answer would not be debatable. He also realized the sincerity with which she spoke her words. "All right, Madame, I'll try not to talk that way. As for finding the child, please leave it at that. I want my son to be happy, I don't want to disturb him. Elizabeth is a very perceptive person so I don't doubt that she has chosen good and gentle people to take care of our son."
"What about her? Don't you think she might want to see him?"
Roy sighed deeply. "I know that like me, there's a small part of her that wants to, but I'm sure she doesn't want to ruin the little boy's life either and would rather strive to build a better future for him."
"I understand..." Chris looked away for a moment, lost in her memories. "You know, I was always waiting for you to come and ask me for the ring you bought before you went off to war, to finally give it to Elizabeth, because I have no doubt that she has always been the owner of your heart. I never thought you would come to inform me that I am already the grandmother of an eleven-year-old boy." She laughed lightly.
He smiled slightly. "Believe me, I never imagined anything like this either. And I must admit, you've taken it very well. I don't think the vast majority of mothers would be thrilled to find out that out of the blue they're already grandmothers, let alone an 11 year old boy." Roy laughed lightly, trying to cheer himself up.
Madame laughed, "Well, if I'm to be honest, I've always believed that you and Elizabeth would at some point be together and give me grandchildren. What has really caught me off guard, though, is the fact that you already have a child. I can't help thinking that you were both too young when the little one was born, but I have no doubt that, had the circumstances been different, you two would have done a wonderful job raising him."
Roy smiled. "You know, she told me that had we married at that time to raise our son, she probably would have had to deal with two babies."
Chris laughed loudly. "I really like Elizabeth even though I don't know her personally. She knows you perfectly well and I must say I agree with her completely. Having to deal with a couple of babies at a young age wasn't going to be easy." She said jokingly.
"Hey! You were supposed to be on my side." Roy grumbled for a moment then smiled. "I'm sure you'd like her."
"I hope someday I'll have the pleasure of meeting her." Chris paused as she drank as Roy did. "Although I can't help but feel a little disappointed that I won't get to meet my grandson. I've always dreamed that one day you would bring your wife and children here, that the little ones would play in this room, just like you used to do as a child, even that you would play with them with your own childhood toys." She sighed.
"I dreamed that too, but apparently now that sounds kind of complicated to come true." Roy said sadly.
She placed her hand on his back and began to rub it in comfort. "I still think that's possible. She and you are still young. You've suffered too much but you still have each other, you have a chance to be happy. I don't want you to interpret this as an excuse for you to have another baby to forget about the first one you couldn't raise together, but rather that you should keep fighting for a better world while allowing yourselves to enjoy the happiness you couldn't have before."
Roy shook his head. "I appreciate your good wishes, but I think I lost the right to be happy by actively participating in the war."
She exhaled heavily. She knew her boy was very stubborn. Besides, she hadn't had a chance to learn the depth of the guilt he carried on his shoulders. "Roy, I know how much it hurts you what you did back there, but I am also convinced that you are not going to give up until you succeed in changing this country. Don't forget that you are human and as such we make mistakes. Also, you should not forget that we all have feelings and desires. In spite of what you lived through, you are standing up to keep moving forward for the good of all and that's good, but that does not prevent you from having to give up everything else. It's normal for you to want to be happy and I really don't think you should stop fighting for a better future for all while you're happy with the woman of your life. In fact I think it would serve you quite well as motivation."
Roy laughed lightly at his aunt's words. "A few hours ago, my friend told me the exact same thing. It even sounds like you two were in agreement."
"Well, your friend is very wise."
"Yes, he is." Roy replied sincerely. "That's why I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him. It's not feasible at this time. I don't feel worthy of it and I don't know if I will ever feel worthy of it... But maybe someday that will happen."
"I hope so boy, I hope so." Chris replied.
They were silent for a few minutes, as they sipped their drinks, until Roy remembered something his mother had said to him. "Madame, do you still have the ring?"
"Sure, how could you think I would get rid of something so important?" Chris snorted and seeing Roy's somewhat lost expression, added. "You want it?"
He immediately shook his head. "No, that's fine. What's more, I'm giving it to you."
"And what am I going to do with an engagement ring?" grumbled Chris.
He shrugged. "I don't know. If you want you can give it to one of the girls."
"Roy!" Madame scolded him. "Don't pretend to get rid of it so easily as if it were anything. That ring is meant for a specific person and in it is imbued all the love you have felt for Elizabeth." Diverting her gaze a bit as she lost herself a bit in her memories, she continued. "I remember how happy you looked when you showed it to me, how proud you were of your choice, how much you kept telling me that you wanted to give her something beautiful but discreet, something that would fit her perfectly." Madame returned her gaze to Roy, filling it with seriousness. "I don't forget the determination you had in your eyes to fight for her and make her understand that, despite the time you had paused your relationship, your feelings for her were still present."
"That was before, Madame. It's all very different now." Roy replied bitterly.
"Didn't you just tell me that you still love her?"
"Yes, but neither of us will leave the military until we succeed in improving this country for our son and after that...our future is very uncertain. Perhaps along the way to this goal I will succumb." Roy said with an indifferent tone, resigned to what he considered a likely future for him.
That last mention earned him another well-deserved smack from his mother. "I told you, Roy Mustang, don't you dare die!" growled Chris.
Roy rubbed the back of his neck trying to lessen the pain of the blow. Madame sighed before continuing. "Please, Roy, don't be a pessimist. Keep fighting for your goals and never give up. I know you are too stubborn to let yourself be defeated." She paused slightly. "Maybe right now you can't marry Elizabeth, but never rule out the possibility in the future. You could even give it to her as a sign of a promise." Madame suggested, in a calmer voice, as she placed a small black box in Roy's hands.
Roy was slightly startled as he recognized the box. He had no idea how he had missed it earlier during their talk, but holding it in his hands vividly reminded him of the future he had so longed for some years ago. With slightly trembling fingers, he rubbed the top of the box with his fingers as he contemplated it intently. Soon after, he gently opened it to observe the beautiful gold ring with a small diamond. It was discreet and with a delicate and elegant pattern on the outside. He took it out of the box and examined it closely until he came across the personalized engraving he had requested on the inside of the ring: 'I love you, Riza'. A sigh escaped his lips as his memories continued to transport him. The day he had written the last letter he sent to Riza before leaving for the war, he had held that ring by his side, dreaming that upon his return he would be able to give it to her.
Madame was right, as always. That ring already had an owner and he really wouldn't think of anyone else to give such an important symbol of love. Roy loved Riza since they were a couple of teenagers, he still loved her in spite of everything and he was aware that no one else could occupy that place in his heart, not forgetting that she was the mother of his only son. He allowed himself to let out a couple of tears as he gripped the ring tightly in his right hand and pulled it close to his chest, at the same time as he bowed his head.
"Roy-Boy... my intention was not to make you sad, quite the contrary, what I want is to make you come to your senses to seek your happiness... I want to see you happy. That's what every mother wants, to see her children happy." Chris used a gentle tone that Roy had rarely heard.
He brought the ring to his lips to kiss it tenderly and then carefully returned it to the box, stowing the latter in the inside pocket of his coat. Afterwards he turned to meet his mother's gaze. His vision was slightly blurred by tears. "Maybe it sounds illogical, but I understand what you are saying. I want my son to be happy too, even though I didn't even get a chance to feel him in her womb. I didn't even get to hold him, but just knowing that he is a product of the love Riza and I have for each other, I love him without even knowing him, because he is part of her and me." Roy mentioned with much feeling and sincerity.
She smiled, "It's not illogical. I didn't carry you in my womb and I love you as if I did. That's why I wish you to be happy, my boy."
Roy embraced her. Madame was surprised at first, but she returned the gesture, rubbing his back to comfort him. "I love you too, mother. Perhaps someday I will allow myself to pursue that happiness, but first I have several things to do. But you are right, this ring belongs to Elizabeth and I truly wish to give it to her at some point."
She nodded. "I just hope it doesn't take too long, Roy-Boy."
"I hope so too." He whispered.
After a few moments of cuddling, they released each other, Chris staring at his boy. "I hope the next time you let me know you're a father, I'll get a chance to meet and if possible I'd like to hold the baby too." She joked.
Roy laughed lightly. "You don't lose faith that I can raise a family, do you?"
"No, I'll never lose it. If it's not possible to have a few grandchildren running around here, at least I wish that you and Elizabeth could be together."
Roy couldn't help but laugh. "Grandchildren?"
"Sure, silly. From now on any other children you have will be the second, but I think it would be nice if you had more than one so he or she has a playmate." She said with a laugh.
"Believe me if circumstances were different, I would definitely work on it. I once dreamed of it, but now I can't promise you anything, other than just keep working hard to protect you, Elizabeth, my son and all the citizens."
She stared at him. "At least promise me that you will not completely throw away the possibility of happiness." Madame said in a firm tone.
He sighed. "I promise."
Even though at those moments he didn't feel worthy or deserving of love or happiness, a part of him wished intensely that he could give that ring to Riza, get married and start that family he always dreamed of. As he had mentioned to his friend and his mother, he hoped that someday it would happen.
Just a little note: Expect Ed in the next chapter ;)