27th August cont'd…

"Katy…" George looked off into the distance and sighed.

I leaned forwards and took his hand in mine, I was overcome by this feeling of happiness. I couldn't quite believe what he had just admitted. George loves me! I beamed as I said,"I mean it, George! I'm yours!"

"I don't deserve you-" he pulled his hand away.

It worried me how he was acting, you don't usually tell someone you love them then struggle to look at them, "It's okay, everyone makes mistakes, your intentions were honourable, you were trying to spare my feelings, you saved-"

"I hurt you. I put you in danger. I've made things worse. You're terrified of him-" George's voice shook.

"I'm not terrified!"

"Ginny's really worried about you… and so is Hermione… they say that your nightmares are getting worse, that you wake up in the middle of the night petrified. You cry out in your sleep; you're begging Wood to stay away from you. That's my fault. You've been so badly effected by everything that has happened all because of me." George roughly wiped his face with his sleeve.

I didn't understand what was happening. He knew fine right that my life was a disaster before he even set foot into it. He was making up excuses and I didn't understand why. Did he regret telling me? How can someone say something and change their tune so quickly? "Not everything that has happened to me has been your fault." I explained, "My parents are the ones who have abused me. Was that your fault? No. My auntie was the one who killed my uncle in front of me. Did you cause that? No. Did you make Oliver choose me that night? No. He was the one who chose me. As you said, he wanted to do what he did, the potion only exacerbated his desires. He would have tried it on with me, potion or not. You know it, I know it."

"I would be taking advantage of how vulnerable you are; it just wouldn't be right." He sniffled.

"And you're saying I'd be less vulnerable on my own?"

George got onto his feet, making an attempt to walk past me, "Kathryn… I can't do this, not now…"

I grabbed onto his sleeve, pulling him towards me, "Ten minutes ago you told me that you loved me and now you're saying you don't..." I could no longer control my emotions as tears started streaming from my eyes.

"I do love you, but it's because I love you I'm doing this…"

"That doesn't make sense, don't you get it George? I don't know what I'd do if you walked away from me. You are the one person who makes me feel safe. I trust you. You are the one who gave me the confidence to get out of that hospital bed. You listen to me, you try to understand, you make me talk because you know it's best for me!" I cried my heart out to him.

"This is the best thing for us right now." I could see George fighting with himself, "I need time to think."

"What is there to think about? Do you not want to be with me? Am I too complicated? Am I too fat? Am I not pretty enough? Is there someone else?" My whole body shuddered.

George closed his eyes, unable to look at me, "No. It's not you, it's me."

"That's ridiculous." I was shaking uncontrollably now.

"I want to be with you, but I can't, I don't trust myself." I reached out to wipe away his tears and this time he didn't push me away, "Katy, I would do anything for you. I would run into a burning building to save you, I would jump in front of a killing curse, I want to hurt those who hurt you. I nearly hit my own brother the other day because of what he said to you."

"I would do the same for you. That's what you do when you love someone." I put a hand in his hair and stroked his cheek with my thumb.

He pulled away, "You're not making this very easy for me."

I took a hold of his hand and stared into his red eyes, "Too right I'm not. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, I'm not going to let you go without a fight."

"You need time to heal, we both do." George rubbed his eyes, taking his hand away from mine again, "you need to look after your health, both physical and mental. We're holding each other back, I'm watching you suffer and I'm feeling guilt, it's just a continuous cycle of fear and hurt and we need to sort ourselves out. Only when that happens will we ever stand a chance of lasting. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry…" he walked away.

I followed, "Why are you doing this? Why do you hate me so much? After all this time, after all that I've said! I thought we were good together? I thought you were finally taking into account what I said at the end of term!"

George stopped and looked at me coldly, "Well, I've finally made up my mind what I want. I'm going to be the one to walk away because I can't take this anymore. Please, Katy, let me go."

"But there will be a time when we can be together, right?"

"I don't know, but I wouldn't bet on us. It's time to move on."

"No, it's not! George, we're perfect for each other!"

"I could do so much better than you."

George threw the back door of The Burrow open, stormed up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door shut. I quickly found myself in Ginny's bedroom before any of the seven pairs of eyes staring at me could ask any questions. I violently shook as I bawled my eyes out, I couldn't stop myself. I started hyperventilating. I felt like I was falling into a bottomless pit with no means of escape. I hastily took off my shoes and chucked them onto the floor, lifting the duvet of Ginny's bed and seeking refuge underneath. I felt like I had been beaten up again, that my throat had been replaced with sandpaper, that someone was hammering on my head but they decided to rip my heart out of my chest instead, one teeny bit at a time. The pain was excruciating.

The door to Ginny's bedroom burst open, Hermione rushed to my side, "Oh my goodness, Kathryn, are you okay?"

I genuinely couldn't even bring myself to speak, never mind explain what had happened. It all happened so fast, like being thrown about on the world's fastest, most dangerous rollercoaster and suddenly it was over. I was supposed to move on, but I couldn't. The rollercoaster had broken down and left me suspended up in the air, dangling, screaming for someone, anyone to help but no words could leave my mouth. I had nothing left to say.

"Talk to us..." Ginny tried to pull the duvet away from my face, but I stopped her. I had myself cocooned, as though in a protective bubble where I could hide myself away from the world.

"What happened?" Hermione spoke comfortingly.

I lay there heaving painful, soul-shattering sobs.

An hour or two later I was called for dinner, but I wasn't hungry. I stayed where I was, tears still streaming, now numb and unable to bring myself to move. My whole body was aching, pleading for the comfort of George's warm touch, for the feeling he gave me when he held me close and for the soft touch of his lips on my cheek.

I heard an argument brewing in the kitchen which resulted in slammed doors and feet thudding up the stairs but I couldn't make head-nor-tails of what was going on. My mind went into overdrive, every positive thought about George was followed by one where he hurt me. The time he brought me the hot chocolate and then left me to it. The time he held my hand after splitting my head open. When he burnt the skin on my arm with a bracelet. The time he confronted me and made me open up about the gash on my face. How he left me standing whenever his friends came along. Our time at Christmas. When George lunged at Draco when he called Hermione and me 'filthy mudbloods'. When George calmed me down and helped me choose my subjects. The way he got really jealous whenever Oliver started talking to me. The time George joked with Sir Cadogan that the two of us would get married one day. Whenever he ignored me for a few months because of Oliver. George stopped me from running away from Hogwarts and told me I was perfect. The many times he almost kissed me, but we were always interrupted by something or someone or maybe he thought he could do better. The time we spent in detention laughing and getting to know each other. When he fought with Draco during our final detention and I was the one who ended up getting hurt. When he and Fred invited me to join The Rogues. George gave the potion to Oliver which made him attack evening George and I fell asleep in front of the fire together. George lied about the potion and watched me suffer after everything that happened and then abandoned me when I was struggling to cope. When he apologised for abandoning me and promising that he'd be there for me. When he left me with my parents, even after seeing how angry they were. He rescued me when I put all my hope in him, he visited me in hospital, he helped me recover. He threw me over his shoulder when I had broken ribs. He gave me amazing presents for my birthday and the worst bombshell imaginable in the space of a couple of hours. My brain couldn't focus on one event, it leaped from one memory to another soon struggling to differentiate between imagination and reality. I still hadn't stopped crying. I nipped myself, scratched my skin, pulled my hair, poked myself in the ribs and my scars all in the hope that I would wake from this terrible nightmare. But I didn't.

Molly tapped at the door and let herself in, closing the door behind her, "Kathryn?" she spoke ever so gently, "Let me see you, I'm not here to force you to say anything, I just need to tell you something. I'm not angry, I promise."

I knew I had to relent to her. She was kind enough to let me stay in her home. She was probably going to ask me to stay elsewhere because I was causing so much trouble. I took a deep breath, however and sat up in the bed struggling even now to hold back the tears.

"Oh, my dear…" Molly sighed, stroking my cheek, just as I had done with George, "If there is anything you'd like to say, or tell me, I am always here to listen." I looked down at the quilt and shook my head slightly taking deep breaths, so she continued, "Promise me you'll talk to someone, let us help you." Molly pleaded, but as she got no response she sighed to herself and said, "I've brought you a cup of sweet tea, please drink it dear, I'm sure your head is pounding. I'll see you in the morning." And with that she left.

It was true, I had had a constant headache for ages now to the point where I was starting to spin. My eyes were now burning with each falling tear. I lifted the mug of tea and drank, clutching for its warmth as it quenched my thirst and soothed my throat. Soon after, I began to feel very light and floaty, my body relaxed, my mind cleared and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

28th August

The sun was just rising as I woke the next morning. Both Hermione and Ginny were fast asleep. I still had a thumping headache and the overwhelming desire to pee. There wasn't a soul awake in The Burrow as I crept around. My footsteps didn't feel like my own, they were heavier, like I was plodding along with pins and needles. I felt very relaxed as I rubbed my eyes. I hopped into the shower to freshen up and then it dawned on me, as though a tonne of bricks landed on me all at once. I cried out in pain. It was as though I had been stabbed again. I had to sit down before I fell as memories came flooding back.

"Is everything okay in there?" Percy awkwardly knocked the door a few seconds later.

"I'll be out in a second…" My voice trembled as I tried to regain control of my emotions again. I rinsed the rest of the bubbles off and jumped out of the shower, wrapping my towel around myself.

I could hear a second voice outside the door that Percy was bickering with before he replied, "It's okay, take your time. I'm going to grab breakfast first."

I quickly dried myself and put my dressing gown on before heading back to Ginny's room where both girls were wide awake, waiting for me, "Breakfast?" Ginny suggested.

"Sure." I nodded. I towel dried my hair and threw on comfortable clothing.

Molly looked very surprised to see me, but smiled as if she knew how difficult it was. The entire house must have heard me in the shower, but no one was going to talk about it. Arthur and Percy headed off to work and the four of us sat down to plates of eggs and bacon. I placed the letter from Oliver on the table between Hermione and Ginny. The two of them exchanged glances when finished.

Ginny spoke first, "So he still fancies you, but that's obvious. You had made your choice clear and he's accepted that. He's apologising for what happened between you two and wants to be friends. What's so bad about that? How could that letter cause?"

"George-"

"Never read it." My voice shook as tears started to fall again.

Molly sprung off her chair to grab me a tissue and rested her hand soothingly on my arm before finishing off her breakfast.

Hermione had read the letter a second time and looked at me over the top of it, "So what happened?"

"The guilt was written all over his face last night…" Molly filled the silence, "I've never seen him so upset."

Ginny pulled her chair in closer to the table, "Okay, so since you're not going to talk, I'm going to speculate... I'm guessing George saw how affected you were about the letter and it brought back memories for him, so he walked off. You went to talk to him, to show him the letter when you had gotten over the shock and he didn't want to know about it?"

Hermione speculated next, "George walked off because he needed space from the intensity in the room. You overheard him talking to Fred about something you shouldn't have heard and he caught you on and he knows he's in the wrong, but won't admit it."

"I think I know my son," Molly spoke, "he wanted to talk to you about something and knew you'd follow him into the garden, whatever he told you, he said something wrong and hurt you."

"Speculate all you want, it's up to him to admit what he did or didn't do or mean." I pushed my chair out to stand, shuddering from the next onset of tears, no longer hungry for the remainder of my breakfast. I turned around to see both Fred and George arrive in the doorway. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him as I hurried back upstairs again.

An hour or so later, I pulled myself together, scraped my hair up into an untidy bun and grabbed my coat and headed back down the stairs, "I'm off for a walk, if anyone wants to join me?" I spoke to no one in particular as I grabbed my boots from the back door and hauled them on.

Harry and Ron were sitting at the kitchen table in their pyjamas looking bleak. "Are you okay?" Harry said in a quiet voice.

"I will be," my voice croaked as I replied to Harry then redirected my attention to Ron, "I'm sorry about this..."

"About what?" he talked with his mouth full of porridge.

"Being centre of attention once again..." I sighed, "Trust me, I didn't want any of this..."

"We know…" Harry answered on Ron's behalf as he had just taken another rather large spoonful of porridge, "And if there's anything I could do or if there's anything you want to talk about?"

"I'll keep you in mind." I held my breath for a second to stop myself from crying and took a step out the back door. The cool breeze was therapeutic as I breathed in the smells of summer.

"Kathryn! Wait a sec!" Ginny was struggling to put her arm into her sleeve and Hermione was hopping on the spot putting on her shoes. You'd think they were a comedy act the way they got on sometimes. I stood on the spot with my hands on my hips facing them. Ginny's long red hair flew behind her as she and Hermione ran to catch up with me. I put an arm around both of them as we walked towards Ottery St Catchpole. I didn't have a particular destination in mind, I just wanted to get as far away from The Burrow as I could. It was a while before anyone spoke, it was a comfortable silence though, the three of us have spent long enough together.

"I know the two of you want answers," I tried to smile through the pain, "But can we just talk about something else for a while?"

"Bill said something rather peculiar to me after dinner last night." Ginny spoke with an air of mystery, "he told me that something is happening in Hogwarts this year, other than this ball we've got dresses for. He said that it's really exciting and he's going to try and get time off work for it. He even said that he wished he was back at school!"

"Like a bigger event that requires a ball?" Hermione questioned.

"Read about it in Hogwarts: A History, have you?" I joked. Ginny hooted.

"I don't think so?" Hermione spoke quizzically, "Either way, a ball sounds disastrous! How on earth am I going to convince someone to go with me-" she gasped, "Oh, Kathryn, I'm so sorry, that was so insensitive."

I tried to ignore the stabbing feeling in my stomach, "You take Ron, I'll take Harry."

"Oi." Ginny elbowed me in the arm, "He's mine, back off." She sighed, "I wish he was mine…"

"He's really divine…" I said in a singsong voice.

Hermione joined me for the final line, "… the hero who conquered the Dark Lord."

"Oh shut up, you two." She hid her face in embarrassment, "I'm never going to get him to like me." then she looked at me from between her fingers, "We really are awful friends talking about this with you…"

I was feeling empty either way, I could cry for a few more hours, but I had realised after breakfast that crying wasn't going to do me any good. That's why I decided to go on the walk, to clear my head, to formulate a plan entitled, 'How to get over George Weasley'. So far, I had nothing. Hermione and Ginny were both staring at me, and I realised I had been in a world of my own, so I quickly answered, "I don't mind. I need all the advice I can get!" I teased, "Besides, it's nice to know other people have problems!"

"Just remember what we were telling Gin during the week, Kathryn. Do you remember what you said?" Hermione knew exactly what she was doing. She was trying to get me to listen to my own advice.

"To make herself totally irresistible and completely and utterly out of reach." I shook my head, "You need to get Harry to notice you for being you."

"So my advice to you, my dear friend, is to make yourself completely irresistible, to the point where my brother is grasping at straws to get you back." Ginny pranced in front of us, showing off, trying a few cartwheels and handstands, then pretending to be on a catwalk.

The more I thought about it, I developed a lump at the back of my throat and was on the verge of tears, and as I spoke my voice was thick with emotion, "Unfortunately I don't think there's any coming back from this one, girls."

"It was over before it really began…" Ginny looked downtrodden as she walked normally again.

"He must have said something awful…" Hermione considered, "I've never seen you like that before. You usually bounce back from things much faster than this…"

I could see Ginny start to get teary, "I thought he loved you… We all did."

My voice seemed to go up an octave as I said, "He does…"

"What?" Hermione said, "That doesn't make any sense…"

"I know… That's what made it 100 times worse…" I sobbed, "He told me that he loves me, he actually said the words I love you but then hit me with the massive bombshell that he doesn't want to go out with me because he could do so much better than me… and that I should move on..."

I found Ginny's arms around me as she started crying too, "How could he do such a thing..." she then followed this with a string of swear words that even made Hermione and me stare at each other in disbelief.

The three of us walked around for a couple of hours, they thankfully didn't ask anything more about George because I didn't know how much more I was willing to divulge… I felt broken inside and was liable to cry at any given time over anything remotely to do about love. (I even cried when I saw two rabbits hopping about together. Yep.) Between us all, we formulated a plan on how we could be totally irresistible, yes, it was completely sarcastic, especially when Ginny joked about us making hooker names, she was Desire, Hermione was Honey and I am apparently Kitty. I didn't think she knew about such things, but it was hilarious, even if we had no intentions of implementing them. Hermione wasn't very keen on some of the ideas, especially when I suggested her name be Fantasia and Ginny suggested that she should walk around with her skirt hitched up to the point where it is barely covering her bum, but I think she understood that I needed to focus my mind on something else.

As this was ongoing, I wondered what it would be like to be someone else. Someone with more confidence. A girl who was willing to live on the wild side, to try new things. I had to laugh at my own imagination, but decided that some changes were okay. Before you start thinking it, no, I don't want to become a hooker. One thing the three of us agreed on was that we shouldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks, if we feel good, that's what matters.

New life motto.

When we got back to the house, Molly was ready to murder us, as we had missed lunch and she was considering filing a missing person's report to the Ministry of Magic. I laughed at her. She wanted to be annoyed, but saw how happy and content we were, so her inner ideals clashed. Her reaction was just so precious!

We had a few sandwiches left out for us and she made us a fresh pot of tea. I discussed Oliver's offer of the Quidditch tickets with Molly, asking for advice on what to do. She was like my mother after all. Molly suggested that if I wanted to go to the match, Bill and Charlie (who had both entered the kitchen mid-conversation to steal some fudge) would gladly accompany me with whoever else I chose to go with. I knew Hermione was not one bit interested, thinking that it would be disastrous if I went. She formed an argument which I only half listened to. I had made up my mind and that was final. Ginny said that she would go only because I was. Harry and Ron were up for an afternoon out; Ron was especially delighted that I wanted him to go with me. When Molly called Fred down to the kitchen, he said that he wouldn't go, out of loyalty to George, but thanked me anyway. He left the jar George gave me the day before sitting on the table. I opened it and lifted out todays feel good message it felt terribly ironic, but the message said 'Never Give Up'. I let out booming laughter, handed the message to Fred to hand to George, "Maybe he should take a leaf out of his own book." I said sarcastically. I no longer cared what he thought.

After, I grabbed a quill and contemplated what I should write in response to Oliver's letter. This is how the final draft went:

'Dear Oliver,
The flowers were completely unnecessary, but I thank you for your apology.
I'm really glad you stuck to your promises- congratulations on your results. I do remember telling you to get O's across the board, but I'll make an exception just this once!
You said that you're still haunted by what happened. I must admit that I am too, not that I realised it until Hermione and Ginny told me. I don't know if it's appropriate, but I'd quite like to talk about it, if you're up for it, but only if you think it'll help you, too. So much has happened in the past few months I feel like I just need closure or something? Sure, let me know what you think.
As for the match, I've rallied a group of six of us to go, if that's okay? Promise your parents won't kidnap me?
See you soon,

Kathryn'

I felt like an idiot for sending it, but Ginny, Hermione and somewhat George were right, I needed to mentally heal. I needed to be able to move on with my life. I knew if I could mentally heal, then I could deal with the physical scars a little easier. Pigwidgeon looked thrilled to take my letter and set off straight away. Late that night I got a reply,

'Dear Kathryn,
I totally understand what you mean. I know things must be tough on you, too. Let's have coffee or something after the match, the other five can get a tour around the pitch.
See the six of you, 11am on the 30th!

Oliver.
Ps. No parents.'

Hermione was not one bit amused. She reckoned I was going to get myself even more hurt. I disagreed. I knew that if Oliver pissed me off I would take great pride in slapping him on the face. Not that she knew that.

30th August

Hermione gave me a look just before we left for the match. She was warning me to be good. She knew I was up to mischief going to talk to Oliver. She was smart enough to work out that half the reason behind me going was to get back at George. And why not?

"If you're so worried, why don't you come along as well?" I smiled at her, she knew that I was winding her up, "It's not as if I'm going to stick my tongue down his throat, am I? Do you want to hold my hand? Or are you wanting some juicy gossip for later?"

Hermione rolled up the newspaper she was reading and whacked me across the head, "If you come back in tears I'm not comforting you."

Bill grabbed my shoulders and pushed me towards the fireplace, "If you two don't stop flirting, we're going to miss the match."

"We're not flirting." Hermione went red.

"Nice one." I high-fived him, "Don't miss us too much!" I shouted over to Hermione.

"Have fun." She said through gritted teeth, unravelling the newspaper again.

"Love you lots, Honey." I stepped into the fire and laughed as I was transported to the home grounds of Puddlemere United. Bill followed soon after.

"You are bad, Kathryn." he laughed, I think he now knew me well enough to know my sense of humour, "Just don't do anything too mischievous on my watch."

I looked him up and down, raising me eyebrows up and down, "Yes, sir."

"I'm warning you."

"Using your head boy voice on me, are we William?" I jested with him, "My suggestion is that I grab these tickets and we get seated before we miss the entire match."

"Yes, Miss." He saluted me.

"At ease." I saluted him back. Ginny gave me a strange look and shrugged her shoulders, knowing that I was in my funny half hour.

The match lasted a little over an hour with Oliver making three spectacular saves. The final score was PUDDLEMERE UNITED 210 – 70 CHUDLEY CANNONS, Ron was completely devastated, claiming that Chudley Cannons were robbed in the last seconds. Charlie was shouting abuse to the Puddlemere United seeker. Ginny and I slipped off to the warmth of the coffee shop, pretending that we weren't with them.

"Hey!" Oliver tapped me on the shoulder, smiling.

"Hi!" I returned the smile, "Congrats!"

"What can I get you?" he asked Ginny and me, "This place does a mean hot chocolate?"

"Sounds great!" I nodded and so did Ginny.

Whilst Oliver was up getting the drinks, the four boys joined us after arguing with the referee and reluctantly accepting the score. Oliver then showed us all to the private players' area of the grounds and encouraged everyone to have a look around. I took a seat on the floor with my back against the wall beside the full-length window as Oliver went off to get changed.

"You are aware there are seats in here, right?" Oliver joked as he returned.

I nodded, "But this particular spot has the best views." I looked out at the pitch. I was also very aware of both Bill and Charlie keeping annoyingly close eyes on me.

"How have you been?" he sat down beside me on the floor with his back against the window.

I felt very nervous all of a sudden, I pulled down my sleeves shyly, "If I'm being completely honest, I don't think I'm doing very well…"

"Where did you get those?" he added quickly, noticing my arms as I rolled my sleeves down.

"They're not self-inflicted. My parents-" I stopped, Oliver knew about my parents, so there was no need for further explanation, "Madam Pomfery wants to make sure all my injuries are properly healing before giving me the ointment to make the scars disappear."

"Oh… Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, but as I remained silent he continued speaking, only loud enough for me to hear, "No one knows about this, but I've been going to therapy," he looked about the room coolly, "I remember you telling me about it…" his voice tailed off but picked up again as he continued, "I've learnt a lot from the sessions… I was a terrible boyfriend."

"Yes, you were," I admitted, but he was smiling at me and I knew it was okay to be honest, I told him that my parents beat me up after finding the Weasley clan in our house when they returned early from holidays. That they left me for dead, deserted the house and that I haven't seen them since.

"Merlin's beard!" his eyes widened, "Explains why you were looking a bit peaky last time I saw you…"

"Yes, partly, but that's also because I saw you and hadn't mentally prepared for the situation. I really wasn't expecting to see you."

He snorted, "Have you mentally prepared for today, then?"

"You know it." I joked even though I was being totally serious.

"Do you get nightmares?"

"Most nights…"

"My therapist says that talking about things-"

I sighed, "I've seen plenty of therapists in my time, it's just that I haven't had time to recover from one incident before another one beats me back down to the ground again. I'm just praying that nothing happens between now and Christmas, but I don't see it happening. I am going to crack up one of these days, I'm telling you."

Oliver leaned towards me slightly, then leaned back again, "You need to accept all the help you can get. I can give you the details of my therapist? I can contribute to funding if that's something you're worried about?"

"You're very kind, I've a few contacts of my own."

"Can I ask you something?"

"I get the feeling you're going to ask me anyway."

Oliver looked around the room before saying, "Is it too early for us to start being friends?"

I took a large gulp of my now cold chocolate, "Oliver…"

"Sorry, that was completely the wrong thing to say…"

I drew my knees up to my chest, "I just need my life to be a little less… complicated? I know you're not going to hurt me and I felt quite comfortable until about thirty seconds ago! I just don't know if I'm ready, but I'm happy to talk about stuff, if you think it's helping you, too?"

Oliver let out a sigh of relief, "Yeah, it's nice to see you so relaxed and to know that I don't downright scare you… I'm sure it's helped… Can I write to you? Like a pen-pal?"

"Sure."

"Will you write back?" he asked shyly.

"Of course I will, whenever I get the time and have something interesting to tell."

Oliver shifted uncomfortably on the floor, "Will George be okay with this?"

"I don't give a shit what George thinks."

He backed off, shifting away from me, "It's like that, is it?"

"Don't you be getting any ideas. He's been an asshole, too. I sure know how to pick 'em." I felt myself get really annoyed, "And I'm warning you, the slightest sign of anything bad and you'll be on my bad books, too. I'm doing this to try and stop my nightmares and panic attacks, not for any other reason. I'm not taking any more crap from people. You're still on probation."

"Message heard, loud and clear." He nodded, sniggering, "You were acting far too calm for me to be comfortable, at least I know feisty Kathryn is still in there."

"Feistier than ever before." I smiled.

"Uhm…" Bill walked up to me, "Mum'll be wondering where we are…" he scratched his head awkwardly.

"Just blame me, it'll be fine." I said, standing, shaking off the pins and needles in my foot, "I'm sure we'll be in touch, Oliver." I nodded to him before walking off to look at the team photos on the wall as Charlie, Bill, Harry and Ron all got a quick catch-up. After all, Charlie was the captain of the Quidditch team before Oliver took over.

Ginny slid up beside me, casually looking at the same picture, "So…?"

"Hermione's going to be awfully disappointed." I giggled.

1st September

On platform 9 ¾ Molly, Bill and Charlie were winding us all up. I hugged and thanked Molly for all that she had done for me over the summer. She thanked me for the money I snuck into her bank account, I couldn't even deny it – she just knew. I got hugs from Bill and Charlie and then had to get on the train to escape the heavy downpour of rain. Harry, Ron, Hermione and I found a compartment where the four of us were alone. Pigwidgeon was making a racket and Ron took out (really ugly) maroon dress robes and covered his cage.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, you'd get holes in them!" Hermione said in her bossy motherly tone.

"Perhaps they'll look better that way." Ron looked at his robes, completely disgusted, "I really don't want to wear them…"

"That's why I heard your mother laughing about you going naked last night?" I recalled giggling to myself, "I hope you've got a camera ready, Harry!"

"Mrs Weasley said she could do with a laugh." Harry reasoned, making Ron go pink in the cheeks, "Perhaps I'll invest in one…"

"We really don't need that image, Harry. Ron, wear the robes." Hermione was traumatised by her own imagination. When Ron was about to reply, Hermione put her ear up to the compartment door and put her finger to her lips, "Shhh…"

We could hear Draco vaguely talk about Durmstrang school and how his father would rather him study there than Hogwarts.

"Aw Draco, I'll miss you in potions." I said as Hermione sighed, I went off to use the toilet to dry off my hair, shutting the door tight behind me.

Draco heard me and replied, "Don't worry, mum won't let me go and I think I'd miss you too much as well…"

I smiled at him, I couldn't bring myself to reply as George stood behind him. I couldn't even look in George's direction, I just excused myself and pushed past. I heard Draco shout something to me, but all I could concentrate on was how fast my heart was beating and how much I really wanted to hurt George for hurting me. But I knew deep down that that wasn't the best idea. It took me a while to pull myself back together again.

When I returned to the carriage, the Trolley lady had been and gone. Harry bought a handful of cauldron cakes for us all to share. Over the next hour, Dean, Seamus and Neville all popped into our compartment and talked about Quidditch. It was like being surrounded by Oliver again. You just couldn't get a word in, so Hermione and I found ourselves reading- she continued reading our new charms book and I started a book called 'How to annihilate a man'. Ginny found it in a charity shop the other day and made me buy it (you think she'd be more sympathetic towards her brother), it is a completely cynical book by a woman who completely hates men.

On arriving at Hogwarts, it was still raining rather heavily and bolts of lightening appeared in the sky. I elbowed Harry, telling him that he was being welcomed back home. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and I all squeezed into a carriage that was pulled as ever by a strange horse like creature called a Thestral. I had read about them in our Care of Magical Creatures textbook, they were curious beasts that could only be seen by those who had seen death and fully understood what happened. That explains why no one else had commented on them before…

At the main entrance, Professor McGonagall stood at the doors. Peeves was being a pain again, throwing water balloons at innocent passers-by. "Miss Pink!" she shouted out above the hustle and bustle. I followed her inside the castle to the right, where she handed me a sopping wet letter, "I don't suppose you'll be able to read it any more. Madam Pomfery has requested to see you before the feast begins instead of tomorrow afternoon." I shook my head at her, but McGonagall simply replied, "She's waiting."

I trudged along the corridor towards the Hospital Wing sending droplets of water flying in every direction. "You wished to see me, Madam Pomfery?" I said with a smile as I entered the wing, "you'll find-" I stopped in my tracks, "Jensen?"

"That is hardly an appropriate way to greet a healer, now is it, Miss Pink?" Madam Pomfery strode out of her office carrying two potion bottles, one of which I recognised to be a sedative for dreamless sleep.

I looked down at my feet and then up at Jensen again, "To what do I owe this honour?" I said sarcastically, "No offence, but I was hoping I'd never see you again…"

"None taken, but I'm afraid I'm going to be seeing a whole lot more of you over the incoming weeks." Jensen directed me into Madam Pomfery's office, "Please, take a seat." With a tap of Madam Pomfery's wand, my clothes dried off immediately. Both she and Jensen both sat on the opposite side of the desk. I noticed a bed had been set up in the office.

"How are you feeling?" Madam Pomfery spoke.

"Splendid. You?"

"I'm well, thank you."

Jensen leaned forwards, "In the past month have you often been bothered by feeling down, depressed or hopeless?"

"Are you doing a psyche assessment on me?" I accused.

"Answer the question." He said sternly.

I folded my arms, shaking my head disbelievingly, "When you've been beaten up and left for dead there's little else you can think of at times."

Jensen wrote some notes in his book, just as he had done in the hospital, "During the past month have you had little pleasure or interest in doing things?"

"Are you actually being serious?"

"Kathryn." Madam Pomfery stared at me.

"Some days are better than others." I answered, "I'm not depressed. I like reading, I go out walking with my friends and talk to them, I bake-"

Jensen put his pen behind his ear and looked intently at me for a minute or so. I glared at him. How dare they gang up on me like this? "We've had reports about you being out of character lately."

"And would you kindly inform me what my normal character is?" I snapped back, "I was assaulted in school last year, I was attacked by my father at the beginning of summer, I was badly beaten up by my parents in the middle of the summer and at the end of the summer I was told by the guy I liked that he – why am I telling you this? No wonder I'm out of character! I am taking on this world by myself and it seems like this higher power is doing everything in his or her ability to make my life a misery at the minute, but as always, life still goes on. And here I am."

Both Madam Pomfery and Jensen sighed and leaned back into their chairs. Madam Pomfery looked at Jensen who nodded his head slightly and wrote something else in his book.

"May I have a look at your wounds, Kathryn?" Madam Pomfery asked overly nicely, directing me towards the bed. I stood, taking off my robes and unbuttoning my shirt and taking it off. "You could have used the screen, dear."

"What's the use? You've both seen me naked. My dignity has already gone straight out the window. I am hoping this time that you just want to see my upper half and I'm allowed to leave my bra on?" I sat up on the edge of the bed, "Or do you just want me to completely humiliate myself? Spill my guts to you?" I shivered and felt a lump at the back of my throat within seconds I was in tears.

"Oh, my dear…" Madam Pomfery wrapped a blanket around me and embraced me, "I know it's been tough, but you don't need to put your guard up with us… We just want to help you…"

"But I don't want to be that girl again… Pinky at the shrink. I can't go through that a second time."

"It doesn't have to be that way…" Jensen walked over to the bed, "May I?" he took out his wand and put on gloves to examine me. I nodded for him to continue as I laid on the bed, "You've managed to break one of those cracked ribs."

"Yeah, it hurt. A lot."

"Care to explain?"

"Someone thought doing a fireman's lift on me was a good idea." I shook my head, "Molly gave me a really strong potion and I felt loads better the following morning."

"Your bruising has settled well, lungs seem to be functioning normally, I've something in my bag to help with the scarring, if you want it. But it's not particularly pleasant." He commented, "can I check your surgical wound?" I turned over, "perfect, you've been looking after yourself, that's always a good sign." He smiled at me for the first time, "you can get dressed again."

"Too kind." I joked, buttoning up my shirt.

"If you don't mind, I would like to refer you to a – someone to talk to." He looked at me intently, "it will be a completely confidential service I think you will greatly benefit from, they will do more than talk to you, they will be guiding you in other aspects of life as part of your recovery. No one else needs to know, it can stay within these four walls if you so wish." Jensen spoke as we both sat down at the desk again.

"Okay."

"I've had a look at your timetable with Professor McGonagall, we have scheduled appointments for you with a highly recommended lady called Maura every Monday afternoon. Further details will follow tomorrow."

I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing, "You weren't going to let me say no, were you?"

Madam Pomfery shook her head, "We think it's best."

"And I suppose now I've no parents or designated guardians, you guys can bully me into… just about anything…"

She sighed at me in her matron tone, "I will not bully you into anything you don't want to do, Miss Pink, I will merely guide you." I saw her look out the window of her office, "now, I'm afraid I must go, I've a first year to attend to."

Madam Pomfery shut the door tight, I found myself staring at the door for longer than was necessary before turning back to Jensen. He was scribbling away in his book. It was quite unnerving but I preferred it to him interrogating me. He looked up at me, surprised to see me watching him, "I will be visiting you this time next month for a final check-up, so long as you continue looking after yourself. I'll hold off on the scarring ointment for now."

"You can tell me not to be getting into trouble, you know." I joked.

"That, too." I could see him smirk, "Now, off you go, I heard there's a feast on the first night back. See you soon."

"See you around."

I had all eyes on me as I entered the Great Hall. The majority of plates were nearly empty. McGonagall gave me a quizzical look to which I responded with a disappointed shake of the head. I spotted Harry, Ron and Hermione and squeezed myself in.

"What happened to you?" Ron asked as soon as he saw me.

"You don't want to know." I rolled my eyes, signifying how it was going to be a long story with little interest for him, I turned to an agitated looking Hermione who was beside me, "What's got your wand in a knot?"

"Don't get her started." Harry shot a warning look across the table and I read his lips to say 'house elves' and that's all I needed to know, "Here, take the rest of this." He handed me a sausage sandwich with a bite taken out of it as he realised I had had nothing to eat from the cauldron cake on the train.

"Slave labour!" Hermione stared at me as I ate the sandwich.

I glared at her as I ate, it was something I was particularly good at when put on the spot, "You don't like me when I'm hungry. But sure if you'd put elves in front of your best friend, you just keep looking at me like that."

She inhaled deeply and looked across the table at all the desserts. I helped myself to a slice of chocolate gateau.

"Do you remember at Christmas last year getting food from the kitchen for Harry? Were there loads of house elves?" Hermione questioned.

"Yes?"

"And you didn't have a problem with that?"

"Hermione, they are some of the happiest creatures I've ever seen. Their eyes all lit up when they saw me. I'll bring you down there someday when we're free and unlikely to get caught and you can see for yourself." I told her, "Then you'll see that there's no point arguing with me."

When pudding had been demolished, Dumbledore stood to make the usual announcements- the list of banned items by Filch, the out-of-bounds areas and that Hogsmeade is for third year and above. Then Dumbledore put a massive curveball into the Hall, "Inter-house Quidditch will not take place this year."

"What?" Harry gasped across the table, he was accompanied by many but there were a large number of individuals too appalled to speak.

This was quickly followed by the reason why, "this is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy- but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts we will be hosting the Triwizard Tournament!"

"You're JOKING!" Fred shouted.

Nearly everyone laughed, including Dumbledore who chuckled appreciatively, "I am not joking, Mr Weasley." He said, as and began explaining what the Triwizard Tournament actually is. It was established 700+ years ago as a friendly competition between Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons schools every five years. Three champions were selected, one from each school, to battle against each other in three magical tasks. The tournament had been cancelled for many years now due to the rising death toll. However, the Departments of International Magical Cooperation and Magical Games and Sports have worked hard to ensure that no champion will find him or herself in mortal danger this time around. The shortlisted contenders were to arrive from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang in October for selection of the three champions at Hallowe'en. "An impartial judge will decide which students are most worthy to compete for the Triwizard Cup, the glory of their school and a thousand Galleons personal prize money."

"I'm going for it!" I heard Fred shout down the table excitedly.

"I'd probably be one of the unfortunate people who dies, let's be honest. I think I'll spare you that misery." I said across the table to Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Eager though I know all of you will be to bring the Triwizard Cup to Hogwarts," Dumbledore raised his voice to be heard, "the Heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year. Only students who are of age – that is to say, seventeen years or older – will be allowed to put their names forward for consideration."

"THAT'S RUBBISH!" I heard Fred and George yell.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" a group from the Slytherin table protested.

Dumbledore had to raise his voice even more as many others joined in shouting their disappointment, "This is a necessary precaution, given that the tasks are both difficult and dangerous and it is highly unlikely that students below sixth and seventh year will be able to cope with them. I will personally be ensuring that no underage student hoodwinks our impartial judge into making them Hogwarts champion. I therefore beg you not to waste your time by submitting if you are under seventeen." I think Dumbledore could tell he was not going to win this battle tonight, "It's late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime! Chop chop!" Dumbledore sat down again and started talking to our newest DADA teacher – Professor Moody – who must have been announced whenever I was with Madam Pomfery.

As everyone stood to go back to their dormitories, I heard George bang his fists on the table, "They can't do that! We're seventeen in April! Why can't we have a shot? It's not fair!"

Hermione sighed. We are quite similar in this respect- the two of us know that rules are rules and there's not much we can do about them, besides, the teachers think it's for the best and we should accept their decision. But the way Fred and George were getting on was frankly childish. Or perhaps I had hardened towards them but I simply shouted down the table, "It must be awful having someone say something so exciting for them to completely ruin your day by saying you can't have it." I fake sighed and shrugged my shoulder, "better luck next time, boys."

"I can't believe you just said that." Hermione giggled as we walked out of the Great Hall, striding straight past them, mouths wide open.

I stopped abruptly, everyone else had left the hall by now except for the teachers who were nattering up at the front, "Oh and boys, if you need some burn cream I'm sure Madam Pomfery has some."

Ron and Harry high-fived me as I swaggered out of the hall towards the marble staircase up to bed.