7th July

"Where are you going?" Fred asked, his voice was deep as though he had just woken up. His eyes widened as he saw me fully dressed, trailing my trunk behind me.

"Anywhere but here."

Fred took a few steps closer to me, "He didn't mean it, you know he lov-"

I interrupted him, "I've got to go."

"Where?" Fred asked, pleading with me, "Just give me a place, so I'll know where to find you." He took a hold of my arm.

I shook my head, "Are you going to imprison me here? Torture me? Beat me? Lock me in a room to die?" I wrenched myself free as Fred looked at me in disbelief, "He certainly doesn't want me around! I don't want to be anywhere I'm not welcome."

"Please, I'm begging you! I won't tell him…"

I paused, staring into the soft eyes that resembled George's so much, it was hard to look at him, so I made my way to the door and said, "Wiltshire. I'll let myself out."

"What's in Wiltshire?" he shouted after me as I swung the door open.

"Never you mind." I turned on my heels, "You've other things to worry about! I'll be just fine on my own."

The sun was rising in the sky as I walked swiftly along the cobbled paths towards the Leaky Cauldron. The click of my heels echoed as I went. Dragging my trunk, I found little to impede me as I walked through the pub and out the other door into the streets of Muggle London.

I strode along Charing Cross Road through all the other early risers on their way to work on a busy Tuesday morning. I found my way to Bedford Street and hopped onto the underground that brought me to Paddington Station, where I swapped trains to journey towards Swindon. I was packed in like a sardine, sitting on top of my upstanding trunk so as not to lose it. I hadn't a clue where I was and how exactly I was going to get to my destination, but I was focused and determined to meet my biological mother. I was consumed by it. A bus journey from Swindon down to Marlborough ended my reliance on public transport as I saw the market Narcissa and I had been to and started walking. After being on foot for half an hour or so, I realised just how hungry I was and stepped into a café for some breakfast. A coffee and a bacon buttie later, I used the café toilet to fix my makeup and tidy my outfit before walking the remainder of my journey.

Then I approached the wrought iron gates, stood my trunk up and took a deep breath. This was it.

I reached out to touch the gate to see if I could push it open and my hand went through the iron. I had to look down at myself; I wasn't invisible. I took a chance and walked through the gates, stepping onto the gravel, shrugging my shoulders, I continued on. The familiar perfectly pruned high hedge snaked the pathway for me and the albino peacocks were prancing about the elaborate fountain. I approached the front door and let myself in.

Leaving my trunk in the empty drawing room out of the way, I popped my head into the dining room, kitchen, library and all the other smaller rooms on the ground floor, but no-one seemed to be home. I climbed the stairs and passed the Grandfather clock and my ears perked up as I heard movement coming from Draco's room.

"Hello cuz." I smirked, leaning in the doorway.

He jumped, "Kathryn? What're you? – How did you? – Who let you in?"

"I let myself in." I continued the smirk and Draco gave me a hug. He seemed to have a bit more colour in his cheeks after that.

"What're you doing here?"

"I came to meet my mother," I smiled apprehensively, "I hoped she would be staying here?" my heart pounded in my chest at the thought.

Draco shook his head disbelievingly, "She's out with mum, I'm sure they'll be back soon. How did you get here?" he directed me over to a free seat and I made myself comfortable. It brought me back to the previous summer, where we spent many happy hours together.

I laughed, "I left at dawn, got on two trains, a bus and walked for a while."

"Did no one apparate with you?" his eyebrows furrowed as he checked his watch, realising just how long I'd travelled to be here, his lips slightly parted, "Aren't you staying in the Weasley's hovel?"

"No, I'm not."

"Did they kick you out?" he leaned forwards.

"Ehm -"

Movement sounded downstairs and I heard Narcissa call out, "Draco, would you like some tea?"

He looked at me with an air of mystery, "Make that two cups, mum."

"Who's here? Is it Vincent or Gregory?" she asked, "Bring them down, Bella and I bought cakes."

'She's here?' I mouthed to Draco and he nodded. I had a feeling of nervous excitement and it must have been written all over my face as Draco pointed his head towards his bedroom door for me to follow behind him. As Draco strode into the dining room, he stepped aside and I smiled, "Hi!"

"Katy?" Bellatrix's disbelieving eyes locked onto mine, her voice was high and unsure.

Narcissa on the other hand sounded panicked, "Kathryn! W-What are you doing here?"

I reached into my bag and lifted out the envelope, my heart thudding in my chest, I turned to Bellatrix Lestrange, "I hoped that you still wanted to meet me?"

"Is that -?" Bellatrix's eyes were wide as she saw the letter, "You -?"

"Yeah." I nodded, walking over to my mother, showing her the letter, "So you wrote this?"

Bellatrix looked up at me and down at the letter and up at me again, she was taking me in, "That seems like a lifetime ago." She looked to her sister, "So you two know each other?"

"Now is not the time, Bella." Narcissa said firmly before addressing me, "Does Molly know where you are?"

"Molly?" Bellatrix questioned looking between Narcissa and me, "Molly? I thought your adoptive mother was Helen, not Molly? Cissy, what are you talking about?"

Narcissa went pale.

"You haven't told her?" my chin dropped, "You – I can't believe you!"

"Okay, let's take a seat, and have a nice, calm conversation." Narcissa said as though defusing a bomb, "I'll go get the tea and cakes. Both of you, please, just stay here and be nice. I'll explain everything when I get back." She hurried off towards the kitchen, wand out, looking panic-stricken.

Bellatrix Lestrange took a seat at head of the long, highly polished table in the dining room, she was staring at me. Her dark brown, hooded eyes were studying every part of my body, as though imprinting a mental image in her mind. Her heavy-lidded eyes were just like mine, complete with long eyelashes. "You're my Katy." The woman said in a voice that was a lot more human than a few weeks ago in the Department of Mysteries.

"So I've been told -" I nodded, "- Dumbledore told me a couple of weeks ago… I hadn't a clue. I read the letter late yesterday evening."

Narcissa had a pot of tea, cups, saucers, side plates and a few sweet treats follow her into the dining room and laid themselves onto the table immaculately. Then the tea started pouring itself, just as it did when I was staying here last summer.

"You are even more beautiful than I ever imagined." Her tongue was in between her blackened teeth which showed off just how many years she'd spent in Azkaban, "So what is it Cissy that you know that I don't?"

Narcissa took a deep breath and Draco took a seat beside her, quite unbothered, biting into one of the cakes, getting icing sugar all over his lips. She opened her mouth to speak to her sister, but couldn't, her eyes fell onto me, "I'm sorry, I couldn't – I can't…" her voice was delicate, as though it would crumble at any moment.

I pursed my lips, grabbed my cup of tea between my two hands which were both like ice blocks and I turned to my mother, choosing my words extremely carefully I said, "Helen and Richard Pink – the people who adopted me – they –" I paused, Bellatrix Lestrange was just like them, she tortures people, she would murder in a heartbeat, she was caught and spent time in Azkaban, Helen and Richard are now in prison. She would probably approve.

"They beat her, Auntie Bella," Draco piped up, his voice was quiet but firm, "they tried to murder her two summers ago. Both her parents were put into muggle prison for it, we supported Kathryn through the trial last summer. They got sixteen years, didn't they?"

I nodded.

There was a deadly silence in the room that was interrupted by Narcissa's sobs.

"What exactly did they do to you?" Bellatrix's voice was measured.

"What didn't they do?" I began. A shiver went up my spine and I shuddered, even though the room was pleasantly warm. Explaining myself to my biological mother was a lot more difficult than I thought, "It started when I was seven. Barbara, Dad's sister played a dab hand in it all, too… Black eyes, sprained arm, broken ankle, second degree burns to my hands, glass in my hands, broken toes, not forgetting the stab wound to my shoulder…" I paused, taking in the empty expression in Bellatrix's face, "Then the night they tried to kill me I had a pneumothorax, a bruised larynx, a broken nose, bruised tracheal cartilage, two black eyes, two broken ribs, three cracked ribs, a bruised abdomen and a kidney laceration." I rhymed off like I had done so many times before.

Bellatrix looked lost in thought. Narcissa brandished another tissue and started blowing her nose and Draco stared into his cup of tea.

"So," I brought the conversation on, "I need to know why you got rid of me. You tell me in the letter that you love me, and then you give me to them. It doesn't make sense." I stated, "Was I not good enough? Is there something wrong with me? Is my dad not your husband? Did to you try and abort me and couldn't stick having a child so gave me to the cruellest muggles you could find?" I paused, I remained strong, I had thought about this moment for the past number of weeks, about the time when I would get answers, I needed to remain calm, so I took a deep breath and carried on, "Is it because of V- the Dark Lord? Did he make you give me up? Because I'm sure there is someone who could have taken me?" Bellatrix couldn't meet my gaze, "Auntie Cissa?" but after an awkward silence I said, "Look, what is done is done, I'd just like to know why. So that I suffered for a reason, that there's a chance now that I can get to know my family and – unless you don't want to know me and – I can just leave."

"No, no, no!" Narcissa put an arm around me, "You are always welcome here! That's why I stood for you in court! You can still stay here, even after September. You're family!"

"No," Bellatrix said at the same time as her sister, her expression softened a little after learning about my past, post adoption. She had listened to her sister, nodding, as though agreeing I was welcome, then said "You were perfect, you are perfect. Your father is my husband, Rodolphus. I never wanted anything more than to be a mother and I never intended -"

"So what was it?"

There was a slight wetness in Bellatrix's eyes, "I had to protect you. They were going to kill you."

I leaned forwards, "Who?"

"The other Death Eaters, the ones who knew about you. I couldn't be all that I wanted to be for you and be everything I needed to be for the Dark Lord. I was given an ultimatum. They kill you – I kill you – or if I chose you, they'd kill both of us, so I hid you. I took my perfect little girl out of this world and placed her in another. I did the one thing the other Death Eaters would not have expected and I gave you to Muggles."

I took a deep breath to take it all in. There was a long silence in the room. Narcissa was clearly holding back emotion and Bellatrix's eyes were on me, as I tried to process everything.

"I don't understand…" I said after a while, "Does V- The Dark Lord know about me? Or did he?"

Bellatrix shook her head, "The Dark Lord knew I was pregnant, but I did not give birth to a son."

I felt awkward. I glanced to Draco, who was still staring into his cup of tea, subdued. Bellatrix didn't want me, she wanted a son, "So you kept me alive because I'm your flesh and blood, even though you didn't want me?"

Narcissa grabbed my attention, "It's not like that, it's far more complicated than that! Bella loved you and still does." Her sister nodded, staring down to the palms of her hands, "We all loved you. It was just the wrong time."

I opened my mouth to ask another question but Narcissa fired a warning look at me, telling me not to. It was a dangerous look, that suggested that I might be digging up something. Perhaps it might bring out the madness of Bellatrix Lestrange. I could hear Bellatrix breathing heavily, her hands were shaking, her head still bowed. I changed the topic of conversation to the delight of both women. "I erm – found these…" I reached back into my bag again and pulled out the photographs, "Are they real?"

Bellatrix's lips curled slightly, "Those bring memories!"

I handed Draco the picture of us, "I always knew I was the better looking of the two of us."

He laughed, "Of course you're better looking than me in this, I've no hair! I'm definitely better looking now."

"Oi!" I sat back in my chair, affronted, playing it up.

"Okay, okay," Draco rolled his eyes, "You did look good for the Yule Ball!"

I covered my eyes, all embarrassed.

"I must agree you did look stunning, do you have that photograph with you to show your mum-?" Narcissa caught herself on and stopped abruptly.

I looked at Bellatrix, "Unfortunately that photograph has been left in a room many, many miles away." It was not unfortunate at all. I left it with George as a reminder.

Narcissa pointed her wand at the door and waved it, "I do recall taking these last summer."

I gasped, "Oh my!" I couldn't contain my shock, "These are from my birthday – I mean – the 27th of August! Now Draco, you've got to admit -" I winked.

"Are they always like this?" Bellatrix asked Narcissa, "I imagined them being best friends, ruling over the Slytherin Common Room."

I coughed.

Draco laughed.

"I'm going to have to burst that bubble," I smiled unsurely, baring my teeth, "I'm actually a Gryffindor."

"A Gryffindor? I gave birth to a Gryffindor?" Bellatrix couldn't get over it.

I nodded.

Draco laughed, "Bet you wish you were a Slytherin now."

I considered a sly comment about Slytherins heads being stuck up their arses, but realistically it was three against one, and I kind of wanted them to like me, so I said, "I've never told anyone this, but when I was in the sorting ceremony, the Sorting Hat didn't know where to place me… it said that my parents were Slytherin, but I just assumed that was Helen and Richard, because they most certainly are." I paused, "I believe I was placed in Gryffindor because of what I had to face as a child. The Sorting Hat focuses on what you admire in others and what attributes you have. I had to be brave. I had to be daring. I had to stand up for myself when no-one else would. It's the Gryffindor in me that has kept me alive all these years. So if that is displeasing to you, I'm not sorry, I refuse to change who I am."

"If that doesn't prove she's yours…" Narcissa smirked, looking at me with pride.

"Did you enjoy living here last summer?" Bellatrix asked me, changing the topic of conversation rather abruptly.

I smiled, "Yeah, I did."

"And you knew who she was, Cissy?"

"Look at her, Bella! She looks just like you!" Narcissa looked between her sister and me, and smiled widely, "First time I got a look at Kathryn, I thought I was seeing things!"

Bellatrix leaned forwards and said, "May I?" as she reached out her hand to touch my curls, and I allowed her, and she caressed my cheek, examining me, "You are far more beautiful than I!" she said, "And she's built like her."

Narcissa nodded knowingly. I looked to Draco who was as confused as I am, he shrugged his shoulders. He sat, listening intently at the table, obviously as interested in finding out about me as I am. I had so many questions and wanted so badly to know all the answers, but I knew I had to bide my time and be patient. For all I know, if I said anything out of turn, Bellatrix could be a live wire.

"Who am I built like?"

"No-one!" the sisters said quickly.

"Do I have any brothers or sisters?" I asked.

Bellatrix couldn't look at me, she stood and left the room. WRONG QUESTION.

"No, you don't." Narcissa told me, bowing her head.

I felt a rising panic, "Did I -?" I couldn't help myself but follow Bellatrix out of the room. But Narcissa grabbed my arm and held me back, shaking her head, "Why? She's my mother and I've just upset her…" I felt awful.

Narcissa stared into my eyes and spoke softly, "Someday everything will be explained to you, but today was a little unexpected and you've got to remember that she hasn't had time to prepare like you."

"Tell her I'm sorry…" I lifted my things, getting ready to make a move.

"Where are you going?" she asked, "Surely you're going to stay for lunch? You don't have to leave! Both you and Bella will experience new emotions as you get to know each other. You are so different, yet so alike, wouldn't you say so, Draco?"

Draco smirked, "Definitely." I'm sure he had more to say, but was being oddly quiet.

There was a long pause where I did a lot of thinking. I was pleasantly surprised by the reception. Well, I haven't been murdered for a start, so that's always good. I've never felt in danger, either. My mother gave me up because I was going to be murdered by Death Eaters. Why? I wasn't entirely sure. I got the impression that she wanted a son. Maybe was distracted or perhaps not as good a fighter when pregnant. Maybe the Death Eaters threatened her? I didn't feel like I could ask. Yet I had even more questions popping up into my head by the second. What I did believe was that Bellatrix gave me up because she genuinely thought it was for my own good.

"I didn't think you'd come," Narcissa said, interrupting my thoughts, "I didn't think the Weasleys would let you visit. Even to this very second I'm surprised…" she examined the expression on my face, "They didn't let you come, did they? They don't know you're here, do they?"

"And when have you known me to do what I'm told?"

Narcissa smirked, "You are so like Bella!"

"Did I hear you mention lunch?" Draco perked up, clearly behind the times, "What are we having?"

I laughed, and Draco smiled over at me, perhaps he was trying to make me feel comfortable.

Narcissa replied, "Well, I was thinking we could make – who am I kidding? Kathryn can you please show me how to make that stew you made Lucius and me last summer? Lucius always said that it was the best he'd -"

"Of course!" I smiled, feeling extremely awkward. Did they know I was the reason Lucius was in Azkaban? I was the one who stunned him.

Narcissa, Draco and I had a lovely time in the kitchen chatting and carrying on. Narcissa complemented my outfit, she was the one who bought it for me after all. Draco asked me if I'd heard back about the O.W.L.s yet, I told him that if they never release the results, I'd be happy. The kitchen had been redecorated since I had visited and Narcissa enthusiastically told me all about her choices. The secret entrance to a cellar-ish room was still concealed by the dresser.

"You must have a look at my recipe for fudge, because whenever I try and make your chocolate fudge brownies, they never work…" Narcissa asked as the stew was simmering in the pot, handing me the recipe book I had added to.

"This is the exact recipe I use," I remarked, "What have you been doing that has gone so wrong?"

Narcissa recounted, "Well, I add the fudge mixture to the brownie batter."

I was in a fit of giggles. I had to take a seat as I couldn't breathe. Both Narcissa and Draco were laughing at my high pitched breathless laughter. "Sorry!" I giggled when I caught my breath, "You – added – the mixture – to the batter!"

"What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't – let the – fudge set!" I wiped my eyes, "Goodness me I haven't laughed like that in weeks!"

"What's so funny?" Bellatrix entered the kitchen as though it was foreign to her.

Narcissa answered, "You're little Katy was laughing at my inability to bake."

"I'm not that little, let's be honest!" I joked, "Besides, when I was here, you didn't even know how to cook an egg properly and 'cooked' to you was often 'burnt'." I smirked, "You needed me to intervene. You can't deny."

"Where'd you learn to cook?" Bellatrix asked me curiously.

"My Granny – erm – I mean – Helen's mum." I felt my heart sink, and I shivered.

Narcissa touched my arm, "Are you alright?"

I looked up at her trying to blink back tears, "You know they found her murdered?" I tried to sound as casual as I could, "Stabbed, Merlin knows how many times. She was found in Dufftown. Police reckon she was trying to find me. Helen and Richard's henchmen seemed to have found her first…" I took a deep breath, settling myself, "Sorry… That woman did her best for me. Well… she tried." I then cleared my throat to answer Bellatrix fully, "She taught me how to cook and bake, it meant I could feed myself when mum and dad were away…"

"Did they often leave you alone?"

I nodded, "All the time."

I lifted the lid off the pot of stew and skewered the potatoes to check how well cooked they were and added a bit more stock to the bottom to prevent sticking. It smelled good and was bubbling away. My eyes may have been on the food, but my mind was elsewhere completely. I thought back to the argument George and I had. I reckoned that if I made it out of Malfoy Manor alive, I'm going to need so much darn therapy.

"Do you think that's it ready now, Kathryn?" Draco asked me.

I zoned back into reality and skewered a couple of potatoes, "Yeah," I said, my voice a little higher than it should be, "if you stir it and put on plates for me, that would be great." I left the kitchen and locked myself in the downstairs toilet momentarily, allowing the rush of emotions to present themselves. They made no sense whatsoever.

There was a knock at the bathroom door, "Kathryn, it's me," Draco's voice sounded, "can I get you anything?"

I opened the door and shook my head, wiping my eyes gently with a piece of toilet paper before discarding it. I fixed myself and returned to the dining room where a bowl of stew had been left for me.

"Did I upset you?" Bellatrix asked me.

"Nah," I shook my head.

"Have you been sleeping?" Narcissa asked.

"Yes and no. I haven't slept in… 28 hours or so. You two would know all about that." I raised my eyebrows at Draco and Narcissa, "Fewer nightmares this time around, to be fair."

"Eat," Narcissa said, "I haven't made it, so it'll be edible."

I smirked, "I haven't had much of an appetite in the last few weeks, I'll be honest." And as Narcissa was about to chide me I said, "Don't waste your breath, I'll eat." I lifted my fork and tucked in.

"This is delicious." Draco said.

"Thanks," I mustered half a smile.

"It's really nice to have the four of us here together." Narcissa commented, "I'd always wondered how you'd get along."

Bellatrix sat forwards, "Are you suggesting that you didn't think my daughter and I would get along?"

I felt my heart swell as Bellatrix called me her daughter. Helen and Richard didn't take ownership of me unless forced to or it suited them. I looked to my mother; she was like Narcissa in so many ways, you don't see her smile that often and she is exceptionally good at disguising her feelings. Most people can tell exactly how I'm feeling by the look on my face, unless I actively try to disguise emotions.

"Come on now, Auntie Cissa, you know I'm an absolute delight." I teased.

"I nearly forgot to tell you, Bella, Kathryn has read 'Girl, Broken' and you will never guess who she chooses."

Bellatrix's eyes widened and her chin dropped, "You chose Patrick?"

"Too right I did."

"Not that bloody book again!" Draco rolled his eyes and left the room, but stopped in the doorway to ask, "Is that why you called Kathryn, Katy, Auntie Bella? After Katelyn?"

Bellatrix appeared all mysterious as she said, "Maybe?"

Then Draco really did disappear. He seemed in a hurry to be rid of our female conversation. It felt like an ally had left me to fend for myself. I did notice that soon after Bellatrix started scratching at her left arm, trying to gain the attention of her sister. This could only mean one thing.

"He wants you, doesn't he?" I asked and the two sisters gazed at me in surprise, "I'm not stupid."

Without saying a thing to confirm, Narcissa stood and said, "Let's go out for coffee or something, just you and me?"

I exhaled in disgust, "And now you want rid of me?" I couldn't believe this chauffeuring service that was going on as Narcissa guided me out of the room, "Excellent." I called back to Bellatrix, "You couldn't say you're busy, just this once? When you've met your daughter for the first time in sixteen years? No?" I scoffed, "Now I feel super special. Tah."

"Kathryn," Narcissa said sternly, dragging me out of the house, "If only you knew." She didn't speak to me again until we were outside the vicinity of the house and half way down the street, "You need to be more careful."

"Of what?" I questioned, "my own mother?"

"No, no…" Narcissa sighed, she was talking in hushed tones, "Bella risked a lot to save you. The Dark Lord cannot see you and cannot know about you. If the Death Eaters realise who you are, you are as good as dead."

I was taken aback. I felt like she was trying to threaten me into keeping quiet. Death Eaters have seen me before, they have not put two and two together about who my real parents are. And so what if I'm seen around Malfoy Manor? They're my family! I started ranting to Narcissa who looked like she was going to start arguing with me, "One Death Eater shot about six killing curses directly at me and they still didn't know who I am. And then there's your husband, who tried to put me under the Imperius Curse -"

"He did WHAT?" Narcissa was in shock.

I nodded, "Uh-huh. You can't make that shit up. And you know, your precious Bella, she was going to use the Cruciatus curse on me, to get the prophesy off Harry! She knew exactly who I was and she was and is willing to hurt me to get in a better position with him."

Narcissa took a deep breath as she walked.

"I was willing to give her a chance, but" I paused, "in the end, she has acted just as I expected her to. Her time for having a child was over the second she handed me to the Pinks. She doesn't give a shit about me."

"That's not true…" Narcissa said firmly as she fought for her sister, "you may have one child or you could have many and you will love every single one of them because they are part of you. You would do anything for them – and in your mother's case, she gave you up because she genuinely had no choice. Those other Death Eaters were power hungry, just like your mother, they were willing to kill you to knock Bella down a few ranks. Most of those Death Eaters are long dead, but as you know, she spent years in Azkaban. It has changed her. But the big sister I know and love, I saw when she laid her eyes on you. She never thought she would see you again. You know what she told me?"

I whispered, "What?"

"She said, 'Cissy, you say all these things about her are true and I couldn't be prouder to have her as my daughter'. Kathryn, she changed on the 27th August 1980 and just by having you here with us gives me a glimpse of my sister, the real Bella and she really wants to get to know you."

I sighed, "I like you." I told her, "I really do. I guess I just hoped that my relationship with my mother could be as good as what I have with you. I thought that we had a connection or something… I thought I had my mum at last, and then she just… left." I explained, "Just like Helen, there is always something more important than me."

Narcissa half smiled, "She's not perfect, Kathryn. No parent is perfect. You have to remember; Bella hasn't had to consider you in her decisions for many years now. She has one focus, one drive and she still-"

"-Hesitated." I finished her sentence, "Yeah, I noticed that."

Narcissa ordered a coffee and a hot chocolate for us in a small café. The two of us took seats in the furthest corner, "Trust me when I say she'll try and protect you. How do you think you've been protected all these years? She tried to give you as normal a life as possible, she wasn't to know what you've gone through…"

"I know," I said, feeling a little teary, so I changed the topic slightly, "you've tried to protect me too, and Draco, I know you would do anything for him -" I suddenly jumped onto another train of thought, "and what about Draco? He seems a bit… off?"

Narcissa appeared surprised, "Well, he's been through a lot lately, it's been all through the papers... Surely you've seen…?"

I felt my eyebrows furrow, "I haven't seen anything… What's happened to him?"

"Well, with Lucius being sent to Azkaban, I'm sure you know why he's there."

"Yeah, I do." I said.

"It hasn't exactly been easy -" Narcissa looked like she wanted to say more, but held back, "Draco has had to assume the head of the house. He – He's had a lot placed on his shoulders because of Lucius's mistake." She looked at me, teary, "And I know it wasn't your fault, you weren't to know…"

"I stunned him," I told Narcissa, I had to clear my conscience, "Twice, once to protect myself and the second time to protect Harry. When Dumbledore turned up, he was never going to get away."

Narcissa nodded, "And at the end of it all, the prophesy was heard by no one."

I nodded in agreement, even though I knew exactly what that prophesy contained, "I blame the Death Eater that put the tarantallegra spell on Neville. Once that happened you lot were doomed."

"Us lot?" she tilted her head, squinting her wide eyes, pursing her lips. Our drinks were placed on the table in front of us.

I reciprocated the expression, "You know what I mean."

"So you're still on Dumbledore's side?"

"I can't honestly say I like Dumbledore very much right now. I think I'm happy just doing what I think is right." I told her, "I'll be seventeen in September and after that, I can properly make my own decisions."

"Do you think being here now, is right for you?"

"It was all I could think about." I told her honestly, "I just didn't think I was welcome after the way you treated me at King's Cross…"

"I didn't want to gain any attention, I just needed to get Draco and go." She said, "I hope you can understand that."

"But you didn't even reply to my owl." I poured out my heart, "Don't you realise just how much that hurt? Whenever you had been telling me all year to write to you and to tell you when I was worried about something and all I wanted to know is if everything I was being told was true? I had the news broken to me by Albus freaking Dumbledore, do you know how that feels, considering you were the one person I knew and trusted and – come on – I stayed with you, shared things with you, you saw me when I was at breaking point. And I needed you and you weren't there…" I grabbed the napkin underneath my mug of hot chocolate and gently dabbed under my eyes, "No one is here for me anymore." I swallowed hard, "I realise that now."

"I'm sorry…"

I sat silently, realising just how much I've f*cked everything up. Bellatrix was 'protecting me' somehow. Narcissa is keeping me out of the way. Draco was struggling after everything that has happened with his Dad and there's little I can do to help. George probably never wants to see me again. Molly is probably warning everyone against me, now that I know who I am. I know that I really can't go back there, to the twins or to The Burrow. I made my decision and now I have to live with it.

Narcissa took a sip of her coffee before saying, "They've turned their backs on you, now they know whose blood runs in your veins?"

I nodded, trying to ignore the lump at the back of my throat, "It complicates things, doesn't it?" I rubbed my eyes with my fingers, willing myself to keep strong, to force myself to remember that these people are my family and they love me, "Especially when I choose you and getting to know my mother over them."

Narcissa's eyes widened in shock. She realised what I had done, the commitment I had made by walking through the front door to Malfoy Manor. I chose Bellatrix Lestrange because I was told to go by George. It pained me to admit to myself that I missed him. I wish there was an easier way. I wish there was a life where I could choose to have Bellatrix and my friends. I felt like such an idiot.

I'm definitely going to need so much therapy.

8th July

I'm not sure when Bellatrix returned from her little escapade with Voldemort but to say I felt hurt is an understatement. I knew Bellatrix would choose Voldemort over me, every part of my being knew that, because she had chosen him over me before. I felt like a class A fool. Why did I think I could change her, or at least be a part of her life? I never fitted there. George was right.

I waited hours for her to return. Narcissa convinced me to stay overnight in Malfoy Manor, which in fairness to her wasn't that difficult, considering I was exhausted and my old room was far too inviting. When I entered the bedroom it was as though nothing had changed. I fell into a deep sleep with relative ease.

I woke up early this morning and had nothing on my mind but the life I had walked away from. I remembered Fred's pleading eyes as he begged me to stay in Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, George's harrowing words he yelled at me the night before and Molly Weasley's warning to her children that if I go in search of my mother, that I would never return to them. I bet she didn't know the reason I'd go find Bellatrix was because her son drove me to do it. George told me to leave.

I was going to drive myself insane, so I sneaked about Malfoy Manor, noticing that my mother was lying in bed, all the roughness taken away by the peacefulness of sleep. Her bedside table was a mess of books, jewellery and glasses of water, she also had clothes lying in a pile on her chair. I tried not to laugh, thinking about the pile of clothes in my own room. I then went to the Malfoy library where I immersed myself in literature about my family, looking for hints of my existence. Narcissa found me an hour later pouring through a photo album from when Draco was a toddler. It really hit home that I didn't have anything like that.

"Breakfast?" Narcissa asked when she realised I was staring at a picture of the Malfoys and Bellatrix the Christmas after they got rid of me.

"Yes." I snapped the album shut.

When Bellatrix showed her face a couple of hours later she looked absolutely delighted with herself. It was as though she was skipping across the kitchen as I sat at the island with my second cup of coffee and a copy of the Daily Prophet. I sniggered at some of the absolute bullshit they were reporting, at least they were admitting to Voldemort being back. I laughed out loud as I came across an article indicating what to do if I was to come into contact with or have a Death Eater in sight.

"Anything amusing?" Bellatrix asked, standing eating a bowl of cereal.

I glanced up from the paper, placing my hair behind my ear again, "Well, right now the ministry recommends that I find a safe and secure place in which to contact an Auror." I knew I was very close to the line and tried to play the funny card.

"Why would you need to contact an Auror?"

"Well, my goodness, there happens to be an escaped Death Eater standing in front of me." I raised my eyebrows, a huge smile spread across my face. I continued reading the article and turned over to see a full page of Bellatrix Lestrange's face.

Bellatrix stood tall and proud.

"You were there that night, weren't you?" she asked me, "In the Department of Mysteries?"

"Yeah, I was." I answered, careful not to break eye contact with her for too long.

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows, "You're a very talented witch, who taught you how to fight like that?"

"No one in particular, I've learnt a few things here and there, most of it is self-taught, if I'm honest. After all I've been through, there came a point where I realised that I needed to learn how to defend myself, so I did." I told her, "Simple."

"You took out three Death Eaters, overpowered them -"

"Not single-handedly."

"She certainly didn't get modesty from you, Bella!" Narcissa had slipped into the kitchen with a tray suspended in the air which landed gracefully beside the sink and the dishes started washing themselves. Narcissa looked considerably paler than she had done when I saw her last.

Bellatrix pushed me for an answer, "Where'd you learn duelling skills like that?"

"I've already told you." I said firmly sticking to my answer. She was looking for information that I was not readily going to give.

"You're friends with Potter, aren't you?" the words came out in question form but were said in a way that was a statement. Now we were getting down to the crux of the conversation. She wanted to find out about Harry, she was trying different ways of getting information out of me.

She was getting argumentative, she wanted me to get angry, so I smiled, "Do you have a problem with my choice of a friend?"

"Yes." she cleared her throat, "Most of your friends are -"

I listed, "Mudbloods, blood traitors and -"

"I sense that you're annoyed at me." she interrupted.

"Do you?" I questioned, "If you're going to jump down my throat, I'm going to have to act defensively." I spoke matter-of-factly.

"You liked Sirius Black, didn't you?" she stuck her tongue between her teeth and sneered, "And I killed him and hurt ickle baby Potter." She used that hideous baby voice again, the one she used to taunt Harry in the Department of Mysteries.

Despite the fact that my blood was boiling, I remained under a calm exterior and maintained the amused expression on my face, "You were the better witch, I'll admit that." I nodded, "But that doesn't mean I agree with everything you've done." I sniffed dismissively, mirroring her attitude towards me, "I was on good terms with your cousin, yes, before his untimely demise." I put a toe on the line as I said, "You know, if you keep murdering family members, you're not going to have any left."

"Huh." She pursed her lips.

Any colour that was in Narcissa's cheeks had now vanished. Bellatrix was looking for a reaction from me, she was testing me, except she got a whole load more than she could ever have expected. Lucky for me, my adoptive parents had already drilled, or should I say beat into me the ability to take crap and present a calm exterior. I can't believe I used the word 'lucky' there, lucky and my life with the Pinks do not coincide.

"If you give up your old life, the Dark Lord will forgive you." Bellatrix began, "He is a very gracious master. He will understand that you have been led astray by the wrong sort of people. He will show you the way, I will teach you that some people are better than others, I can offer you more than you will ever have dreamed of. The Dark Lord will welcome the pureblood daughter, celebrating the joining of two most Nobel Houses. I will gladly offer you to him." Her eyes were wide and fiery; she was excited about the prospect. She wanted this, more than anything, for her daughter, me, to stand at her side and fight alongside Voldemort.

I had to keep a straight face and I cleared my mind of all thoughts that would lead me to laugh. I have literally just been invited to become a Death Eater. Nice. Bellatrix's eyes were boring into mine, searching for the answer she wanted. My response was careful and polite, "That is a considerable offer. I have a number of affairs to manage before ruminating over such a generous proposal. Perhaps at the age of sixteen and still being under the authority of another party, one should wait until one becomes an adult to deliberate further. Do you find my response amicable?"

In the corner of my eye I could see Narcissa's chin drop. Bellatrix was staring at me in wonder and admiration. It was as though she was surprised her daughter could speak so eloquently. She nodded her head a fraction and I felt as though I was safe. Her eyes were still locked onto mine. It was too late before I realised the dangerous reason why. Bellatrix Lestrange was attempting to penetrate my mind.

I could hear her voice in my head, looking for information on Harry, searching my memories for my relationships, my friends, my feelings of her, for the reason why I came to Malfoy Manor in the first place. She was looking for collateral, should I go rogue and she found it necessary to draw me back in. But before she could see much further than my careful consideration and internal debate of her offer and what it meant, I managed to block her from going any further. Instead, I showed her what I wanted her to see; the receiving of black eyes, being thrown down stairs, being locked in my bedroom, having my hands burnt, the memory of the night Barbara killed Gary and stabbed me, the bullying in school, the slap that left the gash on my face, the incident with the broken toes, the night they tried to murder me, Richard Pink's hands squeezing the air out of my lungs. Every negative emotion I had with my adoptive family I forced upon Bellatrix, every detail, every ounce of pain.

"Enough." She broke the connection; her chest was rising and falling rapidly.

"Who the f*ck do you think you are?" I leant over the kitchen island, breathing deeply, not daring to look into Bellatrix's eyes for more than completely necessary to show off my sincere disgust.

"Language!" Narcissa scolded.

I stood tall, feeling immensely vulnerable, "Sorry… Whom the f*ck do you think you are?" I repeated, sounding terrifying to the point Bellatrix took a step backwards.

"You – you weren't lying. Those people, they really did hurt you, they – I –" Bellatrix was once again lost for words. Then she hurried out of the kitchen without another word.

"What just happened mum?" Draco asked, ashen faced.

I answered, "Your auntie Bella just got a taste of her own medicine." I took a seat back down at the island and continued reading the paper, drinking my coffee as though nothing had happened.

"Has she reached all of your expectations?" Draco asked me over lunch. It was just like old times, the two of us sitting together chatting in his room.

"I didn't have many expectations past getting chucked out once she laid eyes on me," I told him truthfully. I had my feet up on the seat with my hands wrapped around a cup of tea. I was comfortable, things when it is just Draco and me are easy, I enjoyed his company and I hoped he enjoyed mine.

He smiled into his cup, "I'm surprised you're still alive."

"I'd say the same about you, you were either dead or you'd left me! You disappeared yesterday!" I said, "Where'd you get off to?"

Draco paused, "I had some family business to tend to. Then I met up with a few people." He took a sip of tea and asked, "What did you and mum get up to?"

"We had a very honest conversation." I told him, "Your mum has been there for me and I guess I just needed to have a meaningful conversation with someone who would listen to me."

"You need to tell me what happened with you and the Weasleys."

"You need to tell me what has happened with you and Voldemort."

Draco jumped in his seat, "I can't tell you that. I mean – nothing has happened."

I leaned forwards, setting my cup down, I went to place my hand on his arm. What was strange was that he pulled it away before I could, "What's wrong, Draco? Look, whatever it is, there's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not allowed to talk about it, Kathryn, or I'd tell you."

"If I was to accept my mother's offer, would you tell me?"

Draco looked confused, "What offer?"

"To join ranks, become a Death Eater."

"No," he said quickly, a hint of panic in his eyes.

"Okay, okay," I held my hands up, I was suddenly aware of my heart beating in my chest, "is there anything I can do to help you?" but when he sat silently I said, "Draco?"

He jumped again, "What?"

I sighed, "Let me help you."

"You can't." he looked so downtrodden, as though carrying a heavy burden. I knew I couldn't push him any further, but there was definitely a change in tone in Malfoy Manor during the time I'd been there. Narcissa was worried when she saw me, now she was paler and subdued. Draco was struggling with something and Bellatrix looked as though Christmas had come early.

"But if I could, you'd ask?" I locked eyes with him.

I think he knew he could ask me anything, as he gave a slight nod, "You need to get out of here." He whispered after hearing the front doors close, the two of us were completely alone.

"Why?"

"It's not safe here, not for you." He told me, his eyes pleading with mine to understand. He got onto his knees in front of me and took a hold of both my hands, his were icy at the touch, his nails had been bitten to the beds, "Please, you need to go."

"Draco, why?"

Draco's lower lip quivered as he contemplated his next sentence, "Because he'll use you, too." He shook my hands, expecting a response, "Please, Kathryn, say you'll go, say you'll protect yourself. Whatever happened with the Weasleys, fix it, do what have to do, choose what is right."

"You're really starting to freak me out."

Draco's expression hardened, "I'm not going to say this ever again so listen close." His voice dropped and the most unexpected words escaped Draco's lips.

"Okay." I agreed.

"Thank you for answering my questions," I nodded politely toward Bellatrix before turning to Narcissa, "and thanks, as ever, for looking after me, Cissa."

Narcissa asked, "Are you sure I can't convince you stay longer?" she knew I'd made my mind up, so continued, "You are welcome here any time. Take this, it'll keep you going for a while." She handed me a small bag which was a lot heavier than I imagined.

I smiled, "I'll come back to visit, I promise! I just have things to do."

Bellatrix stood forwards, not quite knowing what to do. I certainly wasn't going to hug the woman, nor was I going to make her life any easier by offering heartfelt words. Nope, no, not happening. That would be lying. I met the woman and I'm good with that decision, but now is definitely the time to go, Draco made that quite clear, "Would it be alright, if I maybe… wrote to you?" she asked.

I was shocked at such a request, so I nodded, "I'd like that."

Bellatrix looked up at her sister, "My baby girl is almost seventeen." She looked back at me and straightened up, "You really are so beautiful. The offer is still there; once you're seventeen you're free to make your own decisions and for us to get to know each other."

I nodded, "I'm really grateful you let me have a chance at another life. I wish you could have chosen someone else, but c'est la vie." I shrugged my shoulders, putting my handbag across my body, "I look forward to your letters. I'm glad to have met you, I'm sure we'll meet again."

"I hope so!" Bellatrix stood in the doorway as I hauled my trunk out into the courtyard. I was poised, ready to leave as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"Bye!" I said.

Narcissa followed me to the gate, she didn't say anything as we walked, but when I stopped to walk through the wrought iron gate she held onto my arm and her eyes met mine. They were full of pain and anxiety and there was evidence of recent tears. I was worried for her and Draco, Voldemort must have really screwed them over. "Let Molly look after you." She said, her hand on my cheek, she was taking me in as though expecting never to see me again, "And if you can, please keep an eye out on Draco?"

"Of course." I nodded, looking at her with upmost conviction.

Narcissa wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tight, "I love you." She whispered gently before turning her back and returning to her Manor house.

I walked through the gate and I was back within the realm of muggles. The choices I make next are going to shape my future. The prophecy was making more and more sense to me, the news could ruin me, I could turn my back on the Order, I could go to Northern Ireland and live out my holidays there, just as Narcissa told me to tell Bellatrix. I could choose my family or be forced to. I could get a room in the Leaky Cauldron and find the strength to grovel. I made my decision and I started walking.

I'm going to need So. Much. Therapy.