17th July

"Katy, you need to relax!" George put his hands on my shoulders and rubbed them gently.

Safe to say I was flustered, "But George – what if – what if they don't like me?" I started doing the three-hundredth lap of the tiny flat in my dressing gown.

"They'll love you!" George assured.

"You are probably the first half decent person in the family since Tonks." Fred added with a smirk.

I chucked the magazine that was sitting on the coffee table at him, "Don't be rude."

He shrugged his shoulders, "It's true. There haven't been any kids born in that time."

"You are so mean." I pouted, "George what am I meant to wear? How do you set off a good impression, being smart but not too smart, looking good but not overdoing it, and not being dressed in such a way that isn't like me at all?"

"Stick on a pair of converse and you'll look just like you." Fred continued joking, eating a sandwich casually at the table.

I took a deep breath and said, "I could throttle you."

He turned around slowly and gave a very creepy smile, "And upset this beautiful face?"

I stopped on the spot and stared at him with a deadpan expression, "It would be my pleasure."

"Why don't you just start by taking a shower?" George suggested, taking a hold of my shoulders, directing my eye contact away from Fred, "One step at a time, eh?"

I shut myself up in the bedroom after that, and two agonising hours later, I entered the kitchen feeling like I could be presented to the world. I was wearing my jeans, converse (as promised to Freddie) and a nice top, because jeans and a nice top is always a good way to dress if you're not too sure.

Fred looked up from the sofa and winked, "Surprisingly, you look good."

I walked over to him and playfully slapped him, "Cheeky."

"Well I happen to think you look gorgeous." said George, who put his arms around me from behind.

I sighed in relief, "Thanks, Georgie!" I reached up and kissed him, "Okay, so all I need now is my jacket, the cupcakes and -" I paused as Fred looked at me guiltily, "Oh please tell me you didn't!"

He laughed, "The look on your face is priceless."

"Where'd you say you were meeting Tonks?" George distracted me from the death stare I was giving Fred, he was cackling on the sofa, surrounded by papers covered in ideas for the next product.

"Leaky Cauldron." I told him, "She said her parents stopped the connection for the Floo Network, you know, with everything going on." I put my jacket on and slung my handbag over my shoulder, grabbing the cupcakes as I headed towards the door, "Behave yourselves." I joked as both Fred and George walked downstairs with me to see me off, "And good luck with the brainstorm, the design on the travel cloak looked nice."

"Have a good day," George said as I put my key to the door, "write to me if you need anything."

I smiled at the twins quickly, looking down at my watch, I realised I was late, "Thanks, Georgie!" I hugged and kissed the nearest twin and put an arm around the other.

That didn't feel right.

I looked over my shoulder, pointed at Fred and then my lips then laughed. I accidently kissed the wrong twin. That's never happened before. I took a few steps backwards, bit my bottom lip and George walked towards me, laughing, "Wanting to make sure you're with the right twin, eh?" he joked, leaning me backwards and kissing me passionately, leaving me a bit… breathless.

I didn't even have any words in which to respond to him. By the time I had reached the Leaky Cauldron I had snapped out of it and Tonks looked delighted to see me, "You have arrived at the perfect moment, my meeting just finished."

"Oh, excellent!" I said, having completely forgotten she was having a meeting with… someone… about… something…?

She rubbed her hands together with fervour, "Mum and Dad are so excited to finally meet you!" we walked into Muggle London together, "Stop looking so nervous." She told me, "Remember, we're the half decent side of the family."

"That's true!" I smirked, "Hardly difficult though, is it?"

"And they will love you!" Tonks reassured me, "I've told them so much about you already, so they already know your situation and there's not going to be any awkwardness for you. I know you're happy talking about it, but if you've had enough questions, cause Dad can be a bit overexcited at times, just say, they'll understand."

"Right." I breathed as we walked down a tiny alleyway.

She smiled, "Take my arm, and we can apparate."

My insides twisted and contracted and reappeared in front of a delightful looking house. On first appearances, it looked like a country cottage, complete with brightly coloured plants in the garden and hanging baskets at the front door.

"Come on, then!" Tonks encouraged me along the path and in through the front door, "Mum! Dad! We're here!" she announced, taking my jacket.

A fair haired and big bellied man came out of a room to the left. His eyes fell on me, I smiled at him and he looked completely taken aback, "Dad this is Kathryn, Kathryn this my Dad, Ted."

"Nice to meet you, Ted." I said, extending a hand to shake, and he reciprocated, "lovely place you've got here." I had a look around at the soft furnishings.

"Very, very, very nice to meet you, Kathryn!" spoke the bubbly man who shook my hand very enthusiastically, "Dromeda, come meet Kathryn!" he called out.

An accent, not unlike that of Narcissa's sounded from another room, "I'll just be a minute, I'm putting dinner in the oven."

"Why don't you come in and sit down?" he directed me into their front room, Tonks sat down on the sofa and tapped beside her for me to sit down.

"Something smells good." I commented as I had a look around the modest room, the fireplace was the focal point, as it was in many wizarding homes, with a beige sofa with mossy green cushions. There were plants of all kinds, some on delicate tables and others on the hearth. The two armchairs were placed on either side of the sofa and the rug in the middle of the room was perfectly coordinated. I really got an inside-out feel about the décor. My eye caught the bookcase behind where Ted was sitting and I had to resist the temptation to look through the family photo album sticking out.

A door opened to my left and out levitated a tray with a teapot and four dainty little cups and saucers which landed on one of the delicate tables. The tea started pouring itself. Magic like that never ceased to amaze me. A gasp sounded and my neck suddenly craned in the direction. I immediately understood why.

"When you said Kathryn looked like she belonged to the family, you didn't tell me she looked just like us!" Tonks' mother remarked, staring at me.

I stood up and went to shake her hand, "It's… em –" I paused, struggling to form words, "Tonks, you definitely failed to mention the family resemblance."

She laughed, "You look more like my mother that I do!" she continued, "I didn't know we were related when we met, and when I got it confirmed, I wasn't allowed to tell you." She cleared her throat, "Mum this is Kathryn, Kathryn this is my Mum, Andromeda, also known as Dromeda."

"Auntie Andromeda." I couldn't help but laugh, "I now understand what your dear sisters meant when they said, 'she looks like her'. The 'her' happens to be you."

"My dear sisters remember what I look like?" she scoffed.

Tonks stood us both side-by-side, "I always tried to imagine where the similarities end with you two -" she studied me, "Well… you've both got to the same eyes."

I nodded, "I've noticed the three Black sisters definitely have the same eyes." I looked at Andromeda, "'Cept your eyes a lot kinder and wider, mum's eyes are more heavy lidded and so are Cissa's."

"And your hair is like mine, Bella's was always a bit wild, Cissie's was always poker straight and ours," she reached out and touched my hair, "is manageable, most of the time." She winked.

I laughed, it was so true, "So long as you treat the hair with the respect it deserves." Andromeda was certainly built like me, we were tall and curvy. I suddenly understood so much about myself as I saw an old photo of a much younger looking Andromeda and Tonks. Her hair is certainly lighter than mine, and she and Tonks share the heart-shaped face. "I've been told I've got my father's nose," I commented as I caught her staring, "I think I share pretty much everything else between you, mum and Cissa."

"So you're calling her 'mum' now, are you?" Tonks asked me conversationally.

I let out a breath of confusion, "I guess so, that's what she is, biologically speaking." I then decided to sit back down and was handed a cup of tea on the dainty little saucer, "That doesn't excuse what she did to you, or me, I just thought it would be easier, especially in this conversation. But I've never openly called her – I guess I don't know."

Andromeda sat on the remaining armchair, "I imagine you were shocked when you found out? I certainly was, I mean, Bella was never the maternal sort. She was always more interested in -"

"Him." I said, "Yeah, I know. I've got proof of that. He's part of the reason she gave me up in the first place."

"Sweetie." I heard Ted say beside me, "You're about to spill your tea!"

"Oh! Sorry!" I jolted, sloshed the tea in the cup, but managed to maintain the liquid inside.

"Don't think you could do that, Dora?" Ted looked at his daughter jokingly, "Look! No spillage."

Tonks smirked, glaring jokingly at her father, "Aw sis, you're already their favourite!"

I laughed, "Excellent. It's about time." I rubbed my hands together, "I baked cupcakes, I brought a few…" I hinted at the box Ted was staring at, "Have a look if you want." Ted had a good look in and let out a delighted noise as he worked out which one he'd like.

"You bake?" Andromeda asked.

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, it's a relaxation thing. My adoptive Grandmother taught me all I know. We used to bake during the summer holidays together."

"Used to?"

"Yeah, she -" I paused, feeling the chill of her absence in my life.

"She was murdered, mum." Tonks answered on my behalf, I couldn't see the look on her face, but Andromeda quickly changed the topic of conversation. I took a sip of piping hot tea to prevent her from feeling completely awkward.

"I'm sorry to hear that…" she said, "And now you're living in Diagon Alley?"

I nodded, "Yeah, with Fred and George Weasley."

She smiled, "Our little Dora has told us all about your relationship with a certain George Weasley," she leaned forwards invitingly, "How long have you two been together now?"

"A year and a half," I told her, "We got together at the Yule Ball that was held in honour of the Triwizard Tournament."

"Oh look how she lit up, Dromeda, remember being young and in love?" Ted clapped his hand on my shoulder and winked at me.

"Ah, yes," Andromeda remembered, giving him some (hilarious) serious eye rollage, then went back to our original conversation, "Ted and I followed the Daily Prophet's account of what was going on. Can't say the reporter got her facts right, though."

"Rita Skeeter is an interesting character," I informed the family, "Caused Harry and Hermione a load of bother for weeks on end. She was fishing constantly for information."

Tonks sat forwards, "I always wondered how she found out half of her information. She was banned from Hogwarts grounds, wasn't she?"

"She's an unregistered animagus." I said.

"She – what?"

"Dear sister, remember that I am a fountain of knowledge of which I really shouldn't know."

"That's very true." She smirked, "I'll not even ask." She sat on the edge of her seat.

I asked the question on my mind, "What I want to know is… how on earth did you manage this one as a kid?"

Andromeda and Ted laughed together, "With great difficulty." Andromeda said, "We could tell our little Nymphadora was going to be a metamorphagus from… an hour after she was born, Ted?"

"Yeah, Dora had a blob of Black hair when she was born, I nearly dropped her when I looked down at a blonde-haired baby!"

"Are you sure you didn't drop her?" I joked, "I mean – it might explain why she's a bit… odd."

"Odd?" Tonks' voice was high and accusatory, "Me? Odd? You're certainly weirder than me!"

"You can thank Helen and Richard for that."

I saw Tonks freeze on the spot and swallow hard, "I'm so sorry Kath -"

"It's fine, don't worry about it." I said quickly, "I say flippant comments about my fake family and don't think about how it makes anyone else feel."

"You shouldn't have to think about other people's feelings, sweetie, when you're the one who got hurt." Ted told me sympathetically.

Andromeda leaned forwards, "Dora told us about your parents' sentencing when she went to support you, I can scarcely imagine what you went through before that harrowing day…"

I put my hand instinctively on my shoulder to comfort myself, "It's probably best that you don't know… Nearly drained the colour out of both your dear sister's faces when they found out. Cissa couldn't stop crying and as for -"

"You still think Bellatrix killed Helen and Richard?"

"Oh yeah." I nodded, "Who else could have sneaked into a high security prison, kill two people, hundreds of miles apart in the space of five minutes and get back out completely undetected?" I paused and turned my head and looked at Andromeda, "Is my mother an invisibilia, too?"

Andromeda's cup crashed into her saucer, "You're an invisibilia?"

"Well, yeah." I admitted, "Not very many people know, but since you're 'the decent side of the family' I reckoned I'd be better in telling you than… say my mother or Cissa."

"I think you'd be quite right in that assumption." Andromeda nodded, "My father, Cygnus Black was an invisibilia… and didn't we all know about it!" she sighed and rolled her eyes, "It's an incredibly rare gift, you know."

"So I keep being told."

"Just…" she paused, "Use your gift well… Don't do what my father did to us."

Tonks set down her cup, her attention fell upon her mother, "What did he do?"

"Dromeda…" Ted began.

Andromeda lifted her hand and her husband fell silent, "I was born into a wealthy Pureblood family," she began, "There were expectations placed upon us; to be superior, to be greater than everyone else. So our parents taught us how to be truly superior," she swallowed, "most notably my father had a certain proclivity for watching us and using unforgivable curses."

Tonks gasped.

Andromeda's eyes remained firmly on me, "I know your parents hurt you, Kathryn. I know you have suffered as a result. I put on a visage when I was younger, we all took what punishments we got, I was sorted into Slytherin House, I acted like I was better than everyone else. As soon as I was old enough I walked out of there, turned my back on them, those people who were supposed to love and protect me and I never looked back. Ted and I got married, we had a beautiful little girl and I vowed that my daughter would never have to withstand what I went through."

I stood and approached Andromeda, holding out my arms and she embraced me. This woman understood pain and suffering, she knew what it was like to have parents who hurt her, "I'm sorry…" I told her, "From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"You shouldn't be the one apologising…" she said, pulling back from the hug, her eyes glistening, "but I firmly believe that Bella would have disposed of your parents, she understood what that does to a child, our parents broke her, tortured her, they tried to make her into the perfect Pureblood and she was terrified, so she did all in her power to be what they wanted and she became worse than them." She cupped my face, "By the looks of it, she tried to protect you."

"But ended up giving me to people just like her." I concluded.

She nodded. Tonks, who had been embracing her father, wrapped her arms around her mother and held her tight. The same tears I had seen her shed for me, were falling for her mother. There was a mutual understanding now between Andromeda and me, it helped me understand Narcissa and her protective nature. We nodded to each other.

"Thank you for telling me," I took a seat again, "I know it must have been difficult."

"I thought you ought to know." She put her hand on Tonks' head and placed a loving kiss on her daughter's forehead before excusing herself into the kitchen to continue preparations for dinner. Ted lifted a copy of the Daily Prophet and began reading. Tonks flumped back onto the sofa beside me, appearing subdued. I reached my hand over to hers and held tight. She looked over at me, her eyes watery, full of sorrow for her mother's childhood.

"I wondered what it was about you that felt so familiar. I knew you looked like our family, I knew you felt like family and now I realise that you and my mum share the same inner strength. You both walked away, you survived." Tonks squeezed my hand back, "You're both amazing people."

I forced a smile. I had never experienced anything like it before, having a conversation with someone else who had been abused by their parents. Yes, there were the individuals who put my parents on trial, but that was different, they didn't know what I had endured all those years. But there is Andromeda Tonks, sister of my mother, who went through hell as a kid, expected to be someone she didn't want to be and was tortured for it. She was a young girl being brought up to believe she was better than everyone else, being challenged to enforce her superiority upon others. I don't know what happened or how often, and I don't really want to know either.

Abuse is abuse. This is what I have learnt over the years. Whether physical, emotional, social, financial or sexual, people can hurt, they can feel trapped and it isn't right. I guess the physical aspect, being hit, kicked, spat at, thrown about, it's the most natural thing people think about when the word 'abuse' is mentioned to them. I also suffered emotionally, being told that I wasn't good enough, that I was fat and ugly. I was constantly told that they hated me and didn't love me and I was a waste of space. No one should have to feel that way. They leave internal scars that are harder to see, and more difficult to heal. And unfortunately, easily concealed. But something else I learnt from Maura is that my abuse went further than that… I was abused socially, I wasn't allowed out of the house, I wasn't allowed to have friends over, to be my own person. I was locked up. I was treated like a prisoner in my own home. Then there's financial abuse, where you aren't allowed access to money, that someone holds back your right to money, that you rely on them to give you the money to buy the necessities, that you don't have any means of escape. I never had enough money in my pocket to buy a bus ticket. I didn't have a bank account until the day I went to Gringotts with Professor McGonagall. All I can say is I am thankful I was never involved in any form of sexual abuse. That I know of.

"Dora?" Andromeda called out, "Would you mind setting the table?"

"'Course, Mum." Tonks jumped to her feet, and with a flick of her wand, she had plates, glasses, cutlery and placemats all zoom from the kitchen into the room next.

I sat quietly with Ted for a few minutes, just going over the information in my head. Things were starting to slot into place, it makes sense why Narcissa was so protective over me, why she cried so much after hearing my story, why Bellatrix Lestrange, the seemingly heartless murderer showed emotion. My biological family have suffered in more ways than one. I have a real chance to have a family. I laid my head back on the sofa and relaxed myself, I didn't need to be tense any more.

"Am I right in saying that you're Muggle Born?" I asked him.

Ted lowered his newspaper and gave me a warm smile, "I am yes, brought up in the West Country but my accent, well, it's changed, hasn't it?"

"Just a little bit." I smiled, "Are you saying in twenty years time I'm no longer going to have this wonderful Norn Iron accent?"

Ted chuckled at my broad 'Northern Ireland' pronunciation, "You never know sweetie."

"Are you an only child?"

"I am, yes."

"Apparently so am I."

Andromeda poked her head out of the kitchen, "Apparently?" she questioned.

"Well, I asked her -" I said, "Bellatrix. I asked her if I had any brothers or sisters and… well…"

"Well what?" Came three different voices from three separate rooms.

I swallowed hard, "She ran off." I looked at my hands, remembering the emotion in Bellatrix's eyes as I asked her, "Narcissa said I don't, she said it was complicated and it will all be explained to me."

A glance between Andromeda and Ted told me they knew something about this, too. I also knew by the glance that this conversation was not going to be discussed any further. Didn't stop me from trying, though.

"Is there something significant about the fact that I've been born? Is there -?"

"I –" Andromeda stopped.

"Kathryn, sweetie, I think we'd best leave that discussion there." Ted placed a hand on top of mine gently giving me a warning.

"But -"

I may as well have been shushed. Ted raised his hand. The topic is taboo.

Tonks looked out from the dining room looking as confused as I felt.

"You have no idea how awful it is being told that you're adopted, that your mother is Bellatrix frigging Lestrange and then you get zero information past that and when you ask questions people exchange glances and you get told that the discussion isn't going any further. This concerns me, this is my family, and I feel like I know nothing!" I was stern and borderline angry. Too much has happened recently for me to keep my cool. It was happening over and over and I was getting sick of being treated like I'm not to know information about myself.

I looked to Tonks for backup. She gave me the tiniest of shoulder shrugs. Ted sighed. Andromeda disappeared back into the kitchen again. "Excellent. Really excellent." I mumbled under my breath, throwing my head back on the sofa.

After a few seconds I opened my eyes and Tonks whispered, "You knew this wasn't going to be easy."

"You can say that again," I muttered back.

"But when have you ever let anything challenging get in your way?"

I sighed, "Plenty of times."

A grin spread across Tonks' face, "Now you're just feeling sorry for yourself."

"Too right I am." I told her, "Look at the mess I'm in. My life is an absolute f*cking disaster -"

"Language, sweetie."

"Sorry – How do you expect me to be reacting to everything that has been thrown at me these last few weeks?" I reasoned, "I wished, my entire childhood that my parents weren't my parents and it comes true in the worst possible way. How can Dumbledore expect me to be okay after that?"

Tonks sat closer to me, "Dumbledore doesn't expect you to be okay, why do you think it took him so long to tell you?"

"Because he didn't have all the facts," I told her, "He knew nothing. He said that he knew who my parents were based on the book that records the birth of someone with magical blood."

"So they knew from first year?"

I nodded, "Before that, I imagine. First time I met McGonagall she treated me strangely and when I was sorted in Gryffindor, she realised I was different." I told her, "Dumbledore only told me because he was afraid. Firstly, that I would become like her. I'm sure he's still watching my every move, looking for signs that I'm a double crosser. That, and because he was afraid that she might tell me first. Bellatrix recognised me that night, in the Department of Mysteries, he must have known."

"There's something I want to show you. It's in my room, you don't mind if I bring Kathryn through?"

Ted looked to his wife who had poked her head out the kitchen door, and they both nodded, "Of course not."

Tonks directed me along a short hallway and into the left hand door into her bedroom. "Awk look," I grabbed a picture of her as a young girl, holding both her mother and father's hands, "How did your parents explain the pink hair?" I reached out and touched her mousy brown coloured hair, the strands weren't as soft and voluminous as they usually were.

"I think the pink hair was the least of their worries!" she joked, "Mum and Dad always told me that they went shopping with me one day in a Muggle shopping centre and I completely changed my appearance and they lost me. It took them ages to find me, and it's difficult to find someone when you don't know what they look like."

"That is a very good point."

"To answer your question… after that day, they put a pair of reigns on me and dressed me in bright clothing."

I laughed, "You probably deserved it."

Tonks sat on her bed, "Sorry about the mess…" she apologised as I had a look around, for some reason, the bedroom wasn't what I expected. I was half expecting there to be a theme of bright, vivid colours, of pinks, purples and black. The only purple in the room was the duvet on her double bed. The remainder of the room was rather calm and restful with wooden blinds and beige curtains, in the right hand side corner was a dressing table, work station combined. She didn't have much makeup sitting about, not that she needed it. There were a lot of documents and books strewn about the place, as well as a bulging bookcase; I liked this room a lot. I then caught sight of her built-in wardrobe and gave a wide smile, "Oh no…"

"You've done the same to me."

"That is unfortunately very true." She held her breath as I opened up both doors and was met with no surprise at all, there was black and black and more… black.

"You know," I said, picking out a pair of her boots, "I need to get a pair of these. But I imagine I'd be a bit clumpy in them."

Tonks smirked, "Those are my work boots, you'd want a daintier pair." She thought aloud, "You know, I saw a pair earlier… black, laces, no buckles…" with a flick of her wand a box flew into her hands, "and I bought them for you."

My hands covered my mouth, "You know me so well." I smiled widely, "You really didn't need to – thanks!" I hugged her tight, "I think you should get a bright pink pair… jazz it up a bit."

"Definitely," she chuckled, "I'll get you in sexy underwear."

I grimaced, "Yeah, you will." I looked at her, taking a seat at her dressing table, "I've decided I'm more on board with your elaborate plan."

"Good!" she clapped her hands together before leaning forwards, "the main reason I brought you round here is because of something I heard from Molly yesterday after the Order meeting… She was telling me that you were having a particularly tough day?"

I pursed my lips.

"Come on Kathryn…" the way she said my name felt strange, "You know I care about you and I don't want you struggling on your own…"

I explained what happened when out with Fred, George and Ange. I told her about my insecurities and what happened at my appointment with Maura. I didn't see any point in lying, one thing I've learnt over the years is that when you feel really low or like you want to end things, you've got to tell someone, "I had a conversation with George last night, I told him how I'm feeling, he was really good about it all…"

"It would take him to be." She spoke rather sharply, "He's got to accept you and how you're feeling. Hear this from me, a man ought to treat you with the respect you deserve, the second he treats you wrong, you walk away. An argument here and there is alright, but a boy cannot force you into bed, nor can he make you feel bad about yourself. That ain't right."

"What's gotten into you?" I asked, taken aback by her abruptness, "He wasn't forcing me to do anything!"

She clasped her hands together on her knees, "I was working a case of domestic violence and the subsequent arrest of a wizard for beating up his wife for years."

I had a shiver down my spine, "Oh." I swallowed hard, "I watched dad hurt mum, so I know -"

Tonks sighed, stood and wrapped her arms around me, "I'm sorry… It's just what mum said, about her father, it's making me think the worst…" she shook her head, "I shouldn't be relaying my problems on you!"

"Don't be sorry!" I told her, "I've always got a listening ear on standby for you."

"But if mum only knew, she would have taken you, loved you, you would have been my sister and you wouldn't have gone through any of -"

"Tonks stop." I swallowed hard, "Please, stop." I had to blink back tears.

There was a knock at the door, "Nymphadora? Kathryn? Can I come in?" Andromeda's voice sounded and she let herself into the bedroom. She took one look at me, then at her daughter and approached me, "Can I give you a hug?"

I looked up at her through tear-stained eyes, this woman is my family, my flesh and blood, and I could see kindness in her eyes. I sniffled and nodded. She grasped hold of me and held me tight. You know that feeling when you're trying not to cry, but someone starts making a fuss it makes you worse? That is exactly what happened here. She put her hand in my hair and the other around my waist, making me feel safe, secure, like I'd known this woman a lot longer than an hour, "I'm sorry…" I felt like I had to apologise as my body shuddered.

"It's my fault," Tonks said placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, "I shouldn't have brought it up…"

I looked between Tonks and Andromeda. Dinner was ready, I followed them to the dining room. I began torturing myself, I considered what it would have been like to grow up as the Tonks' second daughter. To have had Tonks as my sister, all the summers we could have spent together, the memories we could have made. No-one would have known the wiser. I look like I could be their kid. Life would have been so different, so happy, so… I had to stop myself.

We all sat in the little room, "We don't often have guests round," she told me, "sorry it's a bit cramped."

"You clearly haven't had dinner with the Weasleys."

Tonks laughed, "That's true." I was served a generous portion of sausage casserole and rice, "Eat up!" she told me with a full mouth, "and pour yourself a drink if you want one." she nodded her head at the drinks in front of me.

I gave her a small smile and poured myself a glass of water before tucking in, "Oooh this is delish."

"Thank you dear." Andromeda told me.

"Mum – did you know that there's a book in Hogwarts that records magical births?"

"Yes, how do you think they know who to send the Hogwarts letters to?" she spoke matter-of-factly, "Even with Muggleborns like your father, there would be no way to trace them otherwise."

Tonks raised her eyebrows, "Huh. So that's how Dumbledore and McGonagall found out who your parents are? Amazing, isn't he?"

I shrugged my shoulders and I pointed to the sky as I took a sip of water, "God knows." And after a bite to eat I said, "Dumbledore isn't my favourite person right now."

"Oh come on, Dumbledore's great."

"Well, we'll have to agree to disagree." I said simply, thinking so deeply about the fact he knew that my parents weren't my parents, he knew that I was being abused, he knew the Tonks family were RIGHT HERE and would have taken me in. He knows that Harry lives in an abusive household yet has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it. Surely he, above all people, should care enough about his pupils to prevent them from experiencing abuse?

I shivered.

"Are you cold, dear?"

I shook my head and continued eating my dinner. Thoughts spiralled around in my head and my mind was swiftly overtaken by flashes of my argument with George, Tonks tumbling down the stone steps in the Death Room, the colour draining from Ginny's face, the screams from Harry as Sirius died, the pain Lupin endured losing another friend, the agony of learning that Bellatrix Lestrange is my mother.

"Kathryn? Kit-Kat? Katy? Sis?"

"Wh – What?" I felt a dampness to my face as my hands wiped my cheeks, coming back to reality again.

Tonks was now beside me, on her knees, she took my hands, our eyes met and hers were filled with concern, "Are you okay?"

Realising what had happened, I pushed myself out from the table, "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, second door on your left out of the lounge."

I disappeared, locked the bathroom door and slid down the bathroom tiles onto the floor. My knees drew up to my chest, my head bowed down and I banged it off my knees repeatedly in disappointment at myself. The curse words that escaped my mouth were outrageous and slightly shameful, but when you spend so much time with Ron Weasley, you pick up a word or two. I let out a massive sigh, pulled myself up into a standing position, grabbed a piece of toilet roll and sorted my face out as best I could. Flushed the toilet, put on the tap and went back out to the Tonks' like absolutely nothing happened.

"Y'alright?" Tonks mouthed across the table. A smile and a nod from me didn't seem to settle her. "You don't need to pretend cause mum and dad are here."

"I'm alright," I told her, "I'm not fantastic, but I'm alright."

She leaned forwards, "What just happened?"

"Oh, PTSD and I are old acquaintances." I murmured, "he turns up sometimes for a party in my mind. I didn't… do anything strange, did I?"

"You sort of went rigid, dear," Andromeda said, "like you were seeing something that terrified you." The strength of her voice tailed off by the end of her sentence.

I nodded, "Lovely. Glad you guys didn't get the full experience."

"The full experience?"

"I'll leave that to your imagination, T, then you might come close." I picked up my knife and fork and forced myself to eat, leaving a small amount of food left on my plate, as I set my cutlery down I saw three pairs of eyes staring at me, "What?"

Andromeda appeared to be in shock, "How can you – you're just – you just get on with it!"

I nodded, "I don't have a choice. I've never had a choice! There were some days as a kid I had to drag myself out of bed in the mornings, or I'd be locked in my room, or hit or worse – if I was anything short of what my parents wanted me to be then I was punished. I was sent from shrink to shrink, my parents didn't understand the 'episodes' and the panic attacks where my body forces me to internally relive everything that's been forced upon me." I sighed, "And it's getting bad again, but the feelings, they're worse."

"But you'd been improving -" Tonks sounded incredulous.

"I'm weak." I said frankly, "I can't even meet my family without – without –"

A warm hand fell upon mine, "I am surrounded by three very strong ladies, who have encountered awful things – You're not weak, Kathryn, you're just coping with the consequences of a world that is not worthy enough for you to walk upon."

Another warm hand came from the opposite side, "You are strong beyond measure and you have a support mechanism right here. In this circle, with these people, we are your family. You hear me?"

I felt myself well up, and I nodded, "I don't deserve you."

Tonks stood and walked behind me and wrapped her arms around me from behind, "You're right, you deserve much better than us three, but look, we'll just have to do, for now at least."