22nd July

"So you're saying I've got to suck it up and apologise?"

George was exasperated, "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Are you coming with me?"

He was getting annoyed at my reluctance, "No, I've got a business to run. Suck it up and go."

"But it's Sunday…"

"And I'll see you for Sunday lunch. Apologise," he handed me my handbag, "have a good time," he put a travelling cloak over my shoulders, "I love you," he kissed me, "Go." He threw Floo Powder into the fire and gave me a gentle nudge.

"You're lucky you have a pretty face and I want your children." I shook my head, "You owe me for this."

"We can make pretty children together." George smiled cheekily and waved, sitting down to a pile of parchment at the kitchen table.

"The Burrow." I said unwillingly.

Ginny's eyes widened as I stepped out of the fireplace, "Kit-Kat!" she announced, "I really wouldn't want to be here, right now, if I were you."

"Yeah, you're not on mum and dad's good books right now…" Ron added.

I nodded, "I'm aware of the current predicament. I wish to speak with you both, in private, so that I may apologise."

Molly and Arthur glanced at each other, this was, as predicted by George, unexpected. These days I don't apologise for anything, not from when I was released from the life I had with my parents. We had a long and intense conversation in bed this morning. He made me realise things I didn't know before, new concepts, and I had to be responsible. Now I was sitting opposite Molly and Arthur Weasley, knowing all these things, and now I felt ashamed.

My head hung in shame as I asked, "Can you put a Muffliato charm on the door, please?"

Arthur obliged.

I started playing with the raised vein on my hand as I spoke, "I know the way I have been acting lately has been a bit… unacceptable, and I wanted to apologise." I dared to look up, "I didn't handle the news about my parents very well and I didn't realise that I already had a set and they're sitting right in front of me." I took a shaky breath, "I went off the rails. I'm still making a few changes and adjustments. I certainly haven't been the easiest person to live with, between panic attacks and episodes and feeling pretty low. And the way I argued with you last night, Arthur. There's no excuse -"

"You were worried about Fred and George." He said soothingly, seeing how difficult this was for me, "And then you let your emotions get the better of you."

"That's the nice way of saying I lost it." I took another breath, carefully choosing the words I was going to speak, "I'm a do-er and think later sort of girl. I see someone who needs my help and I go, I see something that needs done and I do it. I was so overwhelmed by the shouting, and well, you know I've learnt to fight back."

Arthur nodded, "You certainly have."

"I should have listened to you both and not questioned your authorities like that, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for shouting at you… I've been reading about children who have come from abusive homes -" he paused, glancing at me, checking that it was alright to talk about my past, "And I read a muggle book that talks about 'triggers'. I think being shouted at triggers your past and I think you seeing people in danger triggers you to jump into action because you don't want anyone to be hurt like you were. I'm trying to understand… We both are…" he placed a hand on top of Molly's, "And I'd like to thank you for saving Bill's life." Arthur stood and shook my hand, the Muggle way of drawing a line under it.

Molly, however, didn't appear to be finished with me, "You told Arthur last night that you see a lot of similarities between you and Bellatrix. We want to protect you, so that you don't become like her. So that you choose to do what is right, to choose us – Harry – the light in the darkness." She smoothed her apron across her legs, "Dumbledore knows as much about what that prophecy meant as we do."

"Dumbledore always knows more than he's letting on." I said, "I know I've already told you that I overheard you telling Ginny and Ron not to let me go to Bellatrix. But why? I feel like I haven't gotten closure on that… Because I've been and come back."

"We don't understand how you managed to return."

"Narcissa and Draco practically begged me to come back here, to you two. Narcissa said that you would look after me. Bellatrix thinks I'm in Northern Ireland."

The couple looked at each other and Molly reiterated, "So you're telling us that Narcissa was protecting you?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying." I confessed, "There is something about my family, and I can't quite put my finger on it…"

"When you went to Malfoy Manor…" Molly asked carefully, "What happened?"

"She tried to use legilimency on me."

"Tried?" Molly and Arthur reacted.

I nodded, "You see, the thing with having Harry as a friend, he's really bad at researching things he's meant to know or do. So what Hermione and I do is learn it, on the off chance it comes in handy. Lucky for me, with Harry not doing so well with Occlumency -"

Arthur smiled, "You managed to fend her off."

"Better yet, I showed her the parts of my mind I wanted her to see."

"That now makes sense. That's why you were so convinced it was her who killed your parents?"

I nodded.

"Do you want to see her again?" Molly asked.

"Even I don't think that's a good idea." I told her, "She's asked me to join up ranks. She's seen me fight, she knows I have a teachable talent. She also happens to know that I can cause a lot of havoc for her if I'm fighting against her."

"How did she react to you?" Arthur questioned.

I swallowed, "Just as you two would if you hadn't seen your baby from when she was a one-year-old." I described in ways I hope they would understand, "She wasn't herself, she was quiet, reserved, just like the woman who wrote that letter." I glanced at Molly, "She wants to know me, just as much as you'd want to know Ginny. She wants to have me in her life. She wants to offer me to Voldemort."

The couple shook with fright at the mention of the name. I carried on.

"She told me her reasons for why I was adopted. I believed her at the time, but now I'm not so sure. The first letter mentioned her -"

"The first letter?"

I knew I had to trust them more than ever, I had to have faith that they would do right with the information, "She wrote a letter to me when I was a baby, intending for Helen and Richard to give it to me when I was going to Hogwarts. Then I would be entering Hogwarts knowing who I was and where I 'belonged'." I paused and they nodded, "But I never received that letter, or her copy of Hogwarts a History, or the photographs. Instead I turned up at Hogwarts not knowing anything and was sorted into Gryffindor. I made my own choices, unclouded choices."

"I'd like to see the letter, and everything that came with it, if you don't mind?" Molly asked, a look to her husband, he gave the slightest of nods.

"Look." I said, "If you are going to use me to take her down -" Arthur opened his mouth and closed it, "I'm not stupid, I know I'm her potential weakness, I just so much as told you, tell me what you're going to do. Let me write to her, because if she's going to kill me -" Molly and Arthur shared another glance, "- you know eventually she's going to try. I think that's what the prophecy meant, the knowledge of her being my mother is going to make or break me. Am I going to stand by and wait for her to kill me, or am I going to put up a fight? I want to make it worth it."

Molly took a deep breath, "We don't want you to get yourself killed… And neither, I'm sure, does George."

"George said he'd let me fight, only if I promised to win."

"And did you… promise?"

I raised my eyebrows and smiled.

"I cannot believe that you managed to talk mum and dad around." Ron was amazed, "I mean, Dad never gets angry and you redeemed yourself! Tell me the secret."

I smiled, "I don't know… Your dad is pretty terrifying whenever he's angry, I'll admit, even George told me off for doing it. I guess I just sat down with them and treated them like adults and I apologised." I looked around my group of friends, the misfits we are, "So what have you lot been up to whilst I've been keeping the parents busy?"

"Not much," Ginny answered, "We've been practicing Quidditch, it would be nice to be on the team again this year. And we're waiting on the book lists to come, so that we have an excuse to go to Diagon Alley and visit this joke shop we haven't been allowed in…"

"You'll love it!" I smiled, "The twins are actually doing a new section in the shop today, which is why they wanted me out of the way. Apparently I'm annoying when I've nothing to do -"

Harry laughed.

"Here, they're probably waiting on Dumbledore finding a new DADA teacher, we can hardly get Umbridge again, can we?" I grimaced, "I mean, I'd lock her in my trunk all year if I -"

The four of them laughed, "You wouldn't use polyjuice to look like her, would you?" Ron asked, disgusted.

"Could you imagine how bad she'd taste?" Harry pulled a face.

"You know, if that was taken out of context."

"Trust you to be the dirty minded one." Ron raised his eyebrows.

I winked, "I'm still willing to give you those lessons on how to treat women right, Ronniekins. Just you ask and I'll impart wisdom upon thee."

"SO…." Ron changed the subject, "Didn't you say that you met the new DADA teacher, Harry?"

"Oh yeah," he said, "A man called Professor Slughorn. Used to teach at Hogwarts, Dumbledore asked him back."

"Oh? Do tell."

Fred and George never turned up for Sunday lunch. Molly agreed to let me bring them plates of food to reward their hard work. When George proceeded to say that it was alright if I stayed home, I was very sassy and said, "I wouldn't want to get in your way." And left them to it.

It was nice spending the afternoon with the group; everyone was in good spirits and we had the opportunity to catch up. It was me who told them the true reason Arthur was so angry at me. I was warned by the members of the Order in our debrief that I was not to tell anyone what happened with Fortescue or Ollivander. Bill and Fleur went with Moody to fix the shop fronts, to make it look like the two men up and left their businesses, just like everyone else appeared to be doing in Diagon Alley. I told them what I could; everything I hadn't been strictly forbidden to mention, so I said that I had seen a disturbance in Diagon Alley and I went to help and spells were used, by me.

"Oh yeah, Dad is really strict about underage magic, no wonder!" Ron said.

"I feel like we're missing something…" Hermione was mentally calculating and was getting dead-ends, "What were the Death Eaters doing there?"

I looked up at her, and dropped my voice, "I don't know much, but I know they wanted wands."

"For Voldemort's new followers."

"Yeah, Harry, I was thinking exactly the same thing…"

29th July

I heard a knock at the front door, "Seriously, George, did you forget your keys again?" I chuckled as I lifted his set of keys from the dish and opened the door with a cheeky grin, "You -"

I took one glance at the blonde figures standing before me, and tried my best to slam the door in their faces. But Richard Pink put his foot in the doorway, wedging it open, I looked down and saw the dirty work boot and was struck by panic.

I grabbed the key dish and threw it with all the force I could muster at my father's head and ran. I noticed something heavy, something that was slowing me down and in complete shock I became aware of a large, round, pregnant belly. My pregnant belly.

I fumbled with the keys at the back door, desperately trying to unlock it, to free myself, to save my unborn child. I felt sick to the stomach as a large hand grasped upon my shoulder and a handkerchief was placed over my nose and mouth. The world started fading away…

I woke up slowly, groggy from whatever drugs they had given me. The stench of death filled the room; the blood and decomposition made me woozy. When my vision returned to me, I let out an involuntary whimper. I was back in the room where it all happened before. That room. The light above me was flickering, I felt my anxiety reverberating off the walls that were closing in on me. Cable ties attached my ankles together and my hands together, behind my back. I had duct tape over my mouth and what felt like a black eye. I could barely move myself into a seating positon due to the baby moving frantically in my belly. My child was panicking, too, as limbs were seemingly fighting to get out of there, to get to safety. My stomach was rock solid; I was experiencing a tightening.

I heard clunking footsteps, the all too familiar sound of Dad's work boots, worn by a man with a bad temper. I let out another involuntary whimper as keys were jingling in the locks of the new, heavy duty door. No one was breaking that down. Though when Dad opened the door it was like cardboard floating in the wind. He dragged me across the room by my hair then pulled me up into a standing position where he questioned me, "Where did you put the money?" he ripped the duct tape off my mouth.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said.

Slap.

"Where did you put the money?" he repeated, his voice was slower with a load more anger.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I repeated, slower and calmer.

He punched me in the face.

"You and that so called family of yours got money for ratting us." He grabbed me by the hair to look up at him, pulling a chunk out as he did, our eyes met and I searched his eyes for clues.

"What?" I questioned, genuinely not having a clue what he meant.

"That husband of yours took money after selling us out." He put his hands around my throat, threatening to squeeze.

"He didn't do anything." I said, eye throbbing, head burning, and throat now being occluded by the strength exerted by his hands. The baby in my stomach was moving faster and faster. With my airflow stopped, their oxygen supply was stopped, too. I fought for our lives. But with my hands and feet tied, I quickly ran out of options. I started getting dizzy. Then my baby stopped moving.

"LIES!" he yelled.

I mimed the word, "Please," and he loosened his grip. I coughed and gasped for breath.

He hit me in the stomach with an almighty wallop.

I let out a scream of pain.

"I have them contained." Helen said as she entered the room, and looked at me hungrily, her eyes lit up as she saw my pregnant belly.

"She's all yours." Richard spat on my face before leaving the room.

Helen pranced over, as crazed as I remembered her, grabbed onto my belly with her sharp nails and shook me hard. I fell to the ground, crying in pain. My stomach was hard as a rock once again. That was never a good sign.

"No, no, no. You're not allowed to go down that easy." She brandished a knife, "I've got to be able to play with you first."

"Please! No!" I pleaded, "I didn't – we didn't do anything! Please!"

"Well, my sources say different."

The knife plunged into my lower abdomen.

A growl of unimaginable pain escaped me. I dropped to the ground, blood and amniotic fluid pulsed out of me. There was nothing I could do. I was sure to die, right here, right now.

"You lied," Bellatrix Lestrange sauntered into the room, "You told the Aurors exactly what we had done. YOU LIAR!"

"Mum, what're you doing here?" I fought against the cable ties of my hands to try and stem the bleeding. I was lying on the ground, helpless, "Please mum, please save my baby!"

"Having a dirty blood traitor baby, are you?" she poked her wand at my pregnant belly, placed her hand on my wound and smelled the fresh blood, breathing it in as though an illegal substance. I jolted at the touch, but had nowhere to go, my baby was dying, I hadn't felt any movements, "I offered you a way out, I gave you the option and you turned me down!" Bellatrix was fanatical, her voice high and loud.

Tears were flowing from my eyes now, "Are you working with them?" my lip quivered, my vision blurry.

Bellatrix let out a high laugh, "I thought you were intelligent! You should have worked this out years ago! Do you really think I killed them for you?" she laughed again, "I gave them Draught of Living Death, slowed their heartrates down to make them seem dead, to get them out of prison so that we could work for the Dark Lord once again."

I cried out. I couldn't stop the scream of betrayal, the emotional pain I was suffering was intense, snot was running down my face, tears were now soaking my clothes as well as blood and amniotic fluid. I was dying. My own mother was turning against me, had betrayed me.

"You sold them out, and now you're going to pay for it." Bellatrix's voice was low and deadly, "Bring him in."

"Let go of me, let go of me!" I heard George fighting off Helen.

"George?" I called out, with every last bit of strength I could muster.

"Katy?" he responded, desperation and fear in his voice. I could hear movement in the room around me, but I could no longer see.

Someone grabbed me by the chin and Bellatrix yelled, "If you don't tell me, I'll use the Cruciatus curse on her, perhaps that'll loosen her tongue."

I could hear George fighting emotions, "I swear, I don't know anything…"

"CRUCIO!" Bellatrix yelled.

"ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed louder than ever before, it was excruciating, as though white-hot knives were piercing every inch of my skin, my head was surely going to explode with the pain.

"Katy! Look at me! Wake up!" he yelled after the pain ceased, "DO SOMETHING!" he pleaded, "I'm here, Katy, they can't hurt you, wake up, wake up!"

I was now lying in a pool of warm blood, my own blood, I no longer had the strength to move, to talk, to hear… The pain dissipated. The world was going dark…

"KATY! WAKE UP! IT'S NOT REAL, WAKE UP!"

I sat up, bolt straight, my chest tight, unable to get a breath in.

"You're okay!" The world started coming back into colour again, my heart was racing, but I was very much alive, "It was a nightmare." I heard George telling me, placing his hands on my face, focusing my eyes onto his, "Breathe."

"Are you okay?" I asked him as he was wiping away my sweat and tears.

His eyes, which had momentarily wandered focused back onto mine, "I'm alright, look at me, Katy, I'm okay."

"Did she hurt you?" I was hyperventilating still, but I had to make sure, I searched his body for injury.

"No, Katy…" he lifted my chin to meet his eyes, "I'm fine, you're fine. You had a nightmare."

I sat up in the bed and crossed my legs over and George did the same in front of me, his shirt covered in my sweat and tears, my pyjamas were soaked through. I couldn't control my chin as It wobbled and my eyes as they formed tears once again, "Helen and Richard…"

"I know," he said, "and Bellatrix. You talk when you sleep, you know."

"Helen killed our baby." I saw the confusion in his eyes, but I explained, "I know I'm not pregnant, I just… I was carrying your child, and they took you first and then came for me. They were torturing us for information, we had given up something to the Aurors and they wanted to know how much they knew. Then Bellatrix walks in claiming she hadn't killed Helen and Richard after all. Merlin, my imagination is awful. That pain felt so real. I -"

There was a knock at the bedroom door, Fred brought in a glass of water, "Mum wants to know if Kathryn's okay… I'm going downstairs, I'll handle it."

"But Fred -"

"Kathryn's more important!"

"No, George, you can't!" I said, grabbing onto him, "I'm alright! It's a big day, you can't miss it. I'll em – I'll spend the day with Ginny or something."

I could see the thought processes going on in George's mind, "No, no, I can't… No, Katy." He put his hand on my cheek, then my forehead, I must have been pale or clammy or something, "Mum, it's okay you can come in."

"It's just a bad day, Georgie."

"I know what day it is."

"I was wondering how you'd cope today…" Molly asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, "A year from court, two years from -"

I nodded, "Yeah, I was back in that room, I just – it's a bad day, I'll be alright, George. D'you think maybe Ginny or Hermione or someone, anyone, could come over and just… stay with me? I think I'll go to the Burrow when I get myself sorted?"

"Of course, dear."

"Look, I've sorted today's babysitters. Go, George. I'll be fine. Come visit me for lunch." I sat on the edge of the bed for a second before standing.

George wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead, "You are the strongest person I know." He grabbed his towel and clothes, "I'll use the other shower." He kissed my forehead again.

I was left alone. Molly went back to the Burrow, Fred was down in the shop and George was in the shower. I lay back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and I had flashbacks. I grabbed onto the duvet in fists, feeling anger at my PTSD. I was never going to escape this, never going to get past the fact that I was almost just another of the torturous twosome's victims. Another name. Now I just feel vulnerable.

I reluctantly took off my clothes to shower. My anxiety levels were through the roof, any creak in the apartment or loud movement downstairs made me panic. The water was warm, but I couldn't heat up. I washed the shampoo out of my hair and the soap off my body and hurriedly dried myself off and got underwear on. I reached for my dressing gown as there was a knock at the door. I froze. A lump appeared at the back of my throat, my chin wobbled and my eyes filled with tears as my body trembled with fear.

"Katy?" I heard George call out. But I had lost my voice, my feet were stuck to the floor, I was terrified, "Katy, it's me, George." He repeated, knocking again. I whimpered. He tried the door handle, "Katy, I'm coming in." I watched as the lock on the door turned and George stood in front of me in his magenta robes.

I put on the dressing gown and wrapped my arms around him, crying.

"Come on, you…" George sighed, leading me over to the side of the bed and sat me down on his knee and held me close, "Ginny's here, with Hermione." He told me, his voice soft and comforting, placing kisses on my head.

"Can we just have two minutes?" I asked, trying to pull myself together.

He handed me a tissue, "Of course, sweetheart. You take all the time you need." He stroked my hair gently, listening as I told him the details of the nightmare, how scared I was, the pain, how Bellatrix betrayed me. "Perhaps your body is trying to tell you something."

"I'm never trusting that woman, ever." I sat up and wiped my eyes, "And I need to make sure Helen and Richard are dead."

"Katy, they're -"

"But are they? Really really?"

He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked at me, straight in the eyes, "They're dead."

I nodded, I knew I was being stupid. Why would Mr Snow tell me they were dead, why would there be so many newspaper articles and why would Dean Thomas have thought to send me them as though they were true? My brain was still so full of images, memories and I gave myself a mightily good scare, "You'd better not leave your customers waiting any longer." I said in defeat, standing up, taking George by the hands and getting him to his feet.

"Katy, are you sure?"

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him gently, "Go."

He opened the bedroom door and I saw Hermione and Ginny sitting at the kitchen table anxiously, "If you need me for anything, anything at all, you've just got to write, okay?" he tapped his pocket where the litteras occultas was folded up. He turned to leave, "Thank you!" he said to Hermione and Ginny before closing the door between the madness of downstairs and the misery of the flat.

"Hey Kit-Kat," Ginny was the first to make a move, "What do you want to do?" she sat down on the bed where I had resigned myself to.

"Cry? Sleep for a year? Go back in time?"

"So you know two of those things aren't going to happen, so…" she held open her arms, "I'll cuddle, Hermione will provide tissues until crying ceases." Ginny looked around, "Where are you, Hermione?"

Hermione walked into the room balancing three mugs, "One very strong cup of coffee," she handed it to me and said, "and tissues, if and when required."

I looked up at her with tear-filled eyes and took a deep sniff of the beverage, feeling comfort in the simplicity of a cup of coffee in the morning. I started drinking coffee at a young age, from the sleepless nights that resulted from the early form of PTSD. At first, I was jittery, but it meant I could focus in class without falling asleep, it meant that I could sit up and read at night. What it also meant was that, for an eight-year-old, I was, once again sleep-deprived. Then an adult, who knew it was against her better judgement, told me to drink a cup of strong coffee in the morning and one at lunch if I was still struggling but never to drink caffeine after that. It worked. My life got back on track again and I started sleeping.

'Adapt and overcome' I told myself, as I sat on the edge of the bed in a world of my own. I was exhausted. Nightmares always took it out of me, sometimes I was able to find the solace of rest but today was one of the days I was going to powered by adrenaline.

"Mum said she would cook us some breakfast for ten o'clock." Ginny said.

"Harry and Ron weren't awake when we left." Hermione added.

Ginny shifted her position on the bed, "And Phlegm is working until lunchtime today, so we'll have some peace until then. Hopefully she'll not come back!"

"Ugh, she's just so frustrating sometimes…" Hermione commented.

I felt my head shaking – I was doing it unknowingly. I didn't want to hear about their dislike of Fleur. I nipped the topic of conversation in the bud before it became advanced bitching.

Am I a bitch? Goodness I hope not. I don't want to be one of those people, I've had enough of people talking about me behind my back as it is. Yes, I was the weird kid, I was the one who had seen things, who didn't have any friends, who was fat, who acted strangely, who people were afraid of. I didn't deserve any of that, no-one does. "Will you two give it a rest?" I snapped abruptly as they commented harshly on Fleur, mimicking her accent.

"Well, it's true, you haven't seen it, Kathryn…" Hermione stated.

I nearly jumped sky high as there was a bang from downstairs. My heart was in my throat and I was on the floor, in a panicked state, scrambling for my wand.

"You're okay, Kat." Ginny gave me a hand up off the floor. I hid in the bathroom for ten minutes crying to myself for being so pathetic. I was rocking back and forth, scared witless of any sudden noises or movements that I can't immediately account for. I was a mess.

"We've packed your things, Kathryn." Hermione said through the door, "Let's go to the Burrow. You can dry your hair there and -"

I opened the bathroom door, I didn't look at either Ginny or Hermione as I grabbed George's 'G' jumper and forced it over my head. It was like a dress on me, but I didn't care. A pair of leggings, fluffy socks and Tonks' boots just proved that I really didn't give a shit what I looked like. Hermione seemed to have everything else I needed in the bag as I headed for the fireplace. But I stopped in my steps and grabbed the purple blanket that George and I constantly stole from each other. The blanket is actually mine, but George stole it and put it at the bottom of our bed, so I took back what is rightfully mine. Holding the blanket tightly, with a travelling cloak over my shoulders, I stepped into the emerald green fire and took myself to The Burrow.

Harry and Ron were mid-game of wizards' chess as I arrived. Pity was in their eyes as I stepped into the family room. The two boys shared a glance and nodded. Standing up, they wrapped their arms around me and left things unsaid. I imagine Ron had just told Harry what he remembered from two years previous. Unfortunately, I didn't need reminding.

I curled up on the sofa with the blanket and stared out the window, watching as birds soared in the cloudy sky, bees suckled sweet nectar and a fluffle of rabbits hopped across the expansive greenery. The sun was high in the sky, but we felt no real benefit. The air was as cold as Dementors lurking in the vicinity. I couldn't find rest, I felt hopeless in such a dark world. Tears periodically dripped down my face, onto George's jumper, I didn't see the point in wiping them away, they were only going to keep flowing. Helen and Richard still managed to torture me. I was never going to be free of them.

George didn't come for lunch. If he did, I wasn't aware of his presence. I ate what was given to me, today was an eat-my-feelings-sort-of-day. I seriously craved a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream, half-baked to be precise, and since that was rather unlikely, cookie dough and brownies would suffice. I knew Ginny, Hermione, Ron and Harry were all in the same room as me, I could hear their voices, not that they made much sense with the ongoing war in my head. I rocked myself back and forth, still unable to find the comfort of warmth, despite the jumper, the blanket and the fire. From time to time I was brought back to the room, chained up, like a prisoner.

But I was a prisoner.

A prisoner of war.

Someone else's war.

A door slammed shut and I let out a scream. I felt trapped, the windows were locked, the only escape was to break the glass, to run into the countryside, but I would be outrun, I was never good enough to escape.

"Kasrine? Are you okay?" Fleur walked into the room, "Why are you on ze floor? Are you unwell? You are looking very sweaty and pale."

"As I was trying to tell you, Fleur, this is the anniversary of what happened to Kathryn -" Molly was fuming; she took off her apron and threw it at her future daughter-in-law, "Finish making the brownies as I comfort her." She closed the living-room door in Fleur's face and pulled me into a tight embrace, sitting down on the sofa with me, holding me close as I calmed my shaking, hyperventilating body.

She was holding me the same way I had seen mother's holding their babies. Her voice was low and soothing as I whimpered. She didn't need to tell me that she loved me. I felt it.

"Let me tell you a story…" Molly said, "About a girl I'm very proud of. Two summers ago she survived the most horrific abuse I have ever seen or heard about. The following summer she poured her soul out in front of a courtroom and sent those monsters to prison. She got her life back on track. She fought bravely in the Department of Mysteries and found out in a rather inappropriate way that her parents aren't her parents, but her real parents are worse. Conflicted and feeling betrayed, this girl followed her instincts and for once they failed her. She returned to her safe place and recovered, it was far from easy because she's been through a lot. Her parents were murdered and she spat on their graves, glad to be rid of the physical appearance of those people. It is well known that she has one of the strongest and smartest minds and she never misses a thing. She has a strong unit of friends around her and what I may remark on being a very handsome young man at her side with a delightful set of in-laws who would do anything for her. This girl, she can do anything she sets her mind to. She knows she can trust people and ask for help, so that her future will be bright and happy and content."

"I wish you said nice stuff like that to me, mum." Ron commented.

Molly scoffed, "It would help if you listened to me."

Ginny laughed and made a very snide comment she was very fortunate her mother didn't hear. Or chose not to hear.

"You are aware I knitted you your own jumper with the relevant letter?" Molly addressed me.

I sat up and gave the smallest of smirks, "But this is my 'G' dress."

"And you wear it so beautifully."

That evening, I felt like I was coming out of the shell of darkness again. Fleur had successfully baked brownies Molly couldn't find fault with. It felt like such a big deal as I went for a walk outside with Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny.

"I feel like a such a child," I rubbed my blotchy face with my hands, "haunted by my mind, day and night. There are no monsters under your bed, Kathryn. They're just all around you." I said in a mysterious voice, not unlike Luna's.

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"It's a metaphor." I explained, "Surely, Hermione, you're the knower of all things."

She pulled a face, as though embarrassed, "The world of knowledge is infinite, it is not possible to know all things."

"Nicely said."

"Sometimes I really don't get them." Harry said.

I gave a small smile, "Well, Harry, you're my I-sorta-understand-what-you've-been-through friend. Ron, you're my friend who loves food just as much as I do. Hermione and I happen to be intellectually on par. Then there's Ginny."

"Do you not say anything nice about me?"

"Nah, your brilliance speaks for itself."

"Aw sis, you're not so bad yourself."

"That sounds like something Kathryn would say."

Ginny jokingly looked me up and down, "I spend way too much time with you."

"And yet… out of the people in this group, you've spent the least amount of time with me recently."

"Well, you know how to fix that." Hermione said.

I raised a joking eyebrow, "By sleeping in the same room as you two?"

"Why would she want to do that when she can sleep with George?" Ron mimicked vomiting.

"True." I nodded.

"You're sleeping with him?" Ron choked on his saliva.

I squinted at him, "Same room, same bed, I sleep on the left, he sleeps on the right, you got a problem with that?"

He looked taken aback. Harry shrugged his shoulders when Ron looked for backup, "Well, they've been dating for ages. And aren't they basically married anyway?"

"Thank you, Harry." I smiled, "Glad you noticed."

Ron still looked like he wanted to vomit. The five of us were dandering along in the grass, not with any particular destination in mind, but purely with the purpose of getting away from Molly and Fleur arguing again. It was getting a bit much. It wasn't like Hermione and Ron bickering, because I can deal with that, but their voices are raised, I can't deal with that today.

"Oh, Ronald, pull yourself together." Hermione grumbled.

Ginny agreed, "Merlin help the girl who shows any interest in you… you'd probably vomit if she attempted to show any form of affection."

"When you get yourself a girlfriend, if you ever do -" I interrupted before Ron's retaliation, his ears growing ever more purple by the second.

"Oi."

"You're going to experience feelings for this person, I know you're not familiar with the term -"

"Oi."

"But you'll get this warm fuzzy feeling inside and they'll be the person you want to share your life with. If you ever wise yourself up enough to be lucky to have a girl look at you -"

"You look at me -"

"No." I shook my head as though having eaten something terribly sour, "I meant look at you like that."

He retorted, "You don't need to be so mean about it."

I pouted, "Have I hurt your feelings, Ronniekins? Besides, you're like my brother, that ain't gonna happen."

Ginny elbowed me, "He's got the hair, the height, the family -"

"Behave yourself." I chided, "He doesn't give a rats ass about me. I happen to be a Gryffindor, in the majority of his classes and friends with people he is friends with. Let's not get ahead of ourselves and say he actually likes me as a person."

"Hey – I don't dislike you as a person."

I caught eyes with Hermione and, for the sake of not pursuing this conversation any further, I shrugged my shoulders. Ron was never good with compliments. Ron wasn't good at talking to girls in a sensitive manner, either, so saying that he doesn't dislike me as a person is actually a very nice thing to have been uttered from his lips.

The two boys walked on a bit and Ginny caught up with them, keen to get up in the air and chuck a Quaffle back and forth. I was always happy to spectate, but Quidditch was never something I particularly enjoyed playing. I could understand the rush and the enjoyment of feeling the wind brushing through your hair. But, let's be real, I'm not athletically inclined, and I'm okay with that.

I noticed Hermione was lagging behind a bit, "You okay, girl?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Indulge me in your problems so I feel better about my own disaster of a life."

She stopped in her tracks and folded her arms.

"You can't get annoyed at me today. I'm struggling to get images out of my head, bad images, if I didn't make that clear. I died in my sleep last night again, I don't fancy talking about it." I leaned casually against a tree watching the other three.

"How do you do it?" she asked after a long while. She was now sitting on the grass at my feet, her knees drawn up to her chest, looking like she was dealing with a philosophical problem and she couldn't put her finger on the answer.

"Do what?" I asked.

It took her a while to reply, "You just – you make it seem so easy to talk to people – I mean, you have George and you're inseparable and – how do you do it?"

I sat down beside her, "You're going to have to be a teensie bit more specific."

"I'm in love with him, Kathryn, I just – I can't – he doesn't like me, like that, and I can't. How did you do it with George, I mean, they're brothers, I -"

"Wowzah." I said, "Just so we're on the same page, we're talking about, Ron, right?"

She looked up at me, as if to say, 'did you really have to ask?'

"Why don't you just talk to him?"

"I can't do that!"

I blinked, "Hermione, you talk to him every day, just –" based on the glare I was now receiving, she was not going to 'just go talk to him', "Fine." I said, "I'll talk to him."

"NO YOU WON'T!"

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"I – I don't know."

"Fred and George are selling love potions?"

She was affronted, "Don't be ridiculous!"

"You're the one being ridiculous." I said, "The two of you have been on each other's radar for years and one of you is going to have to do something or -"

"Or what?"

"One of you is going to move on and the other is going to be left broken-hearted."

"Merlin, I'm so sorry it was just so busy today and with the launch of the 'You-No-Poo', I just couldn't get away -" I stepped through the fireplace of the flat long after 10pm, feeling thoroughly exhausted from a day of 'not thinking about my past', "We've had to put in massive orders to our suppliers, half of Diagon Alley has shut down over the weekend!"

I stood and listened intently to his every word. I loved it when he got like this, all passionate and slightly nerdy about his products. He told me how the You-No-Poo was an absolute success with the public and when there's a lot of bad stuff going on, you sometimes just need a laugh.

"How are you?" he asked when he had finished his over-excited description of the day.

"I'm okay." I nodded with a small smile.

He reached over to place an arm on my shoulder, but instead found my cheek, "Do you promise?" he gently caressed my cheek in his hand, his eyes searching my face for emotion. He wasn't sure if he could believe me.

"Yeah." I held my arms up, "Now give me a hug and don't let go until I say." I put my arms around his neck and placed my head on his chest, "Turns out Fleur didn't know about my past and your mother is threatening to not let us back to Hogwarts in September -"

"Well, isn't that a good thing, you and I could spend a lot more time together." He wiggled his eyebrows with a crafty smile.

"This is serious, George, your Dad came back from the ministry reporting all these disappearances and how he found the body of an old friend when he was asked to investigate some illegal behaviours." I said, staring up into his eyes, arms still around his waist, "Dementors are everywhere, people are dying, my mother happens to be -"

One of George's fingers gently touched my lips, "Shhhhhh…" he said gently, "You need to stop fretting." He ran his fingers through my hair, "Mum'll come around, she always does." Seeing that I was not entirely convinced he said, "Come here, you." And he took my hands, "Let's get some sleep."

Getting into bed I said, "I'm going to need dreamless sleep potion tonight -"

"D'you -"

"Yes." I confirmed, "I close my eyes and I see them, I don't fancy another night where I am brutally murdered and painfully reminded of -"

"Here." George handed me the bottle, he didn't need any more of an explanation.