12th October (cont'd…)

"Katie!" I gasped as I ran to her side, "Oh my goodness, is she going to be okay?" I asked Madam Pomfrey who was treating her. I reached for Katie's hand and held it tight; it was still warm, but limp. If it weren't for the rise and fall of her chest, I'd think she was dead.

Madam Pomfrey finished performing spells over her body before paying attention to me, "We need to work out which curse was used before we can even hesitate a guess on her recovery time."

I fell into the chair at her bedside, realisation flooded my body, making me feel weak, "This is all my fault."

"What exactly are you saying, Miss Pink?" McGonagall questioned, "Did you have a hand in this?"

"Of course she didn't Minerva! Just look at how this is affecting the girl!" Madam Pomfrey snapped, heading into the store cupboard and returning with the Draught of Peace potion, "Take this, you look like you – well, you look like you need it."

I held the glass in my hand, staring at the light silver vapour, knowing that I'd probably need to take it when I hear the answer to my following line of questions, "Who did this to her?"

"We don't know… Her friend Leanne said that Katie went to the bathroom in the Three Broomsticks and came back with the package."

"Package? What package?"

"I've left it with Severus to examine, it was an ornate opal necklace. It was wrapped in brown paper," McGonagall told me, "Naturally it was your three best friends that saw the whole thing happen."

"Naturally." I repeated in a murmur.

Crossing her arms, tapping her foot, lips pursed she asked, "So, where exactly have you been all this time?"

"I was with George." I said, "He'll testify if he needs to, and Dumbledore saw me this morning in the Burrow."

Both McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey stared at me, "You saw Professor Dumbledore? What did he want to see you for?"

I sighed, placing my head in my hands, the cup held between my knees, "He wanted to warn me that Death Eaters were looking for me, to take me. He said that Tonks contacted him about it. They knew, chances were that I'd be in Hogsmeade today and they were going to take me to Bellatrix to give her information – you see, Dumbledore banned me from making contact with her and, well, she's probably pretty desperate. I just – I never imagined that they'd want to curse me."

"Curse you?"

"The person probably looked at her and saw brown hair and brown eyes and asked if her name was Katy." I paused, "And she probably responded, I'm Katie Bell."

The two women were in shock, "Oh my."

"So as you can imagine, I'm feeling a little responsible right now." I took Katie's hand again and shook my head, "I should be the one lying there, not you." I felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of emotions attacking me all at once. I felt this sense of doom, that they're going to go to any lengths to get to me. I felt fear, the fear George was expecting me to feel earlier. I was entangled with guilt, it was growing on me like a paralytic, numbing me, trapping me in my own body. But I was experiencing a new emotion, one that I couldn't explain, that there wasn't a word for. I looked at Katie Bell and felt – she was the one who took my place, she didn't willingly do it, she didn't knowingly put herself in danger and now she's lying in a hospital bed in a coma. It should've been me. Professor McGonagall explained what happened, that from touching the necklace through the smallest of holes in her gloves that she was taken up into the air and was suspended there, her arms outstretched before letting out a terrible scream, like she was terrified of what she could see or was feeling inside her. She fell to the ground and has been in this unconscious state ever since.

I must have been staring into space as Madam Pomfery tapped the glass, "Drink up."

"I'm alright." I told her.

"No, you're not." She said, "You're in shock, I know you, Kathryn, you haven't moved in fifteen minutes."

"Oh."

A table appeared in front of me, "You've missed dinner, so I'll get you something, what would you like?"

I shook my head, "Honestly, I'm not hungry. I think I'm going to take this up to bed with me and be alone for a while."

I'm sure Madam Pomfrey was talking to me as I walked out of the hospital wing. I wouldn't know if many individuals were trying to strike up a conversation with me. I was so wrapped up on my own thoughts and feelings of the moment that I didn't have space for anything else. The portrait door was open and I climbed through, heading straight for the doors to the dormitories. I left a pile of clothes at the foot of my bed – the jumper dress, the woollen tights, the boots, everything – before climbing into bed with my diary, shutting off the curtains to the outside world.

I don't know how long I sat there with my head in my hands, but my legs had gone numb and my head hurt from the overthinking. I decided to write into the parchment for the Order members.

Kathryn: Katie Bell was cursed today in Hogsmeade. She was given a package in the Three Broomsticks and was bringing it to the castle to deliver it to someone, it is believed she was under the Imperius Curse. By grazing the necklace within the package, she rose into the air and started screaming, she fell to the ground and has been in a coma ever since. I saw her in the hospital wing whenever I returned from seeing Fred and George.
George: Katy are you okay?
Remus: Who was the package for?
Tonks: I knew something bad was going to happen. Did Albus talk to you?
Kathryn: I'm feeling terrible at the minute… Yes, Professor Dumbledore explained what you had overheard, I only walked to the outskirts of Hogsmeade and then back again after being at the Burrow and in London. I can't help but feel like that package was meant for me, and it should be me in the hospital wing right now. Death Eaters were looking for me in the shop. And no, Remus, we have no idea who the package was for. I'm just assuming that they got the two of us: Katie Bell and Katy Belle mixed up…
Tonks: Where are you now, K?
Kathryn: In my dormitory. Look, I just wanted to fill you all in on what has happened. I'll chat to you soon.

I put the parchment away. I didn't have the energy to write any more. I put my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes. Flashbacks. I need another appointment with Maura. I am not okay. I took the Draught of Peace and slept.

13th October

"Hey Kathryn, I didn't see you last night, are you okay?" Hermione said from behind the curtains, she heard my movements and knew I was awake, "Did you hear about Katie?"

"Yeah."

I heard her let out a measured breath, "Listen, I know you had a load of nightmares last night and I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you want to talk about it. Professor McGonagall said that you feel guilty that Katie is in the Hospital Wing, but this isn't your fault, it can't be."

I didn't say anything. In fact, I sat perfectly still.

"Harry, Ron and I are going down to lunch in half an hour, if you'd like to join us?"

"I'm not feeling up to it."

I could hear her rustling about in her pockets and she cleared her throat, "I got a letter from George this morning. He said to tell you to get out of bed, to eat something and to talk to someone about how you're feeling. He also said that if you don't reply to him on the parchment, he will assume that you've gone AWOL and he'll be forced to send a search team to find you."

"Fine." I answered, seeing no other way around it, "I'll need longer than half an hour to get ready, though."

I waited for Hermione to leave the dormitory before making my move. I lifted my diary from under my pillow and read the messages from George.

G: How are you feeling, Katy?
G: It's okay if you're scared, it's what we were talking about.
G: Talk to me.
G: You can't punish yourself for something that someone else did. You can't help that Katie went into that bathroom and got Imperiused, that is something completely out of your control.
G: I'm going to bed now, but I'll have the parchment beside me all night if you want to talk. I'm always here for you, baby.
G: Morning, beautiful! How are you feeling now?
G: Come on Katy, I'm getting worried now, you can't just lock yourself away in your dormitory. And yes, I know you well enough, you can't deny that is where you are.
G: Please eat something. Or talk to someone. Or both?

I knew I didn't have much of a choice, but to write.

K: Hi.
K: I had a horrible night.
K: I hardly slept because my head is so full. I'm trying to make sense of all of this and I just needed time. They tried to kill me, and Katie got caught in the cross-fire and it's all my fault for not being there to fight them off.
K: I feel so helpless right now.
K: I'm going to get up now and present my face for lunch and then see where that takes me. I'm not going to lie, I feel a little fragile and not in the I've-had-too-much-alcohol way. Please don't be annoyed at me, I just feel awful.

I ran my fingers through the tangle of curls; there wasn't a chance of me being able to rescue my appearance today. When I caught a glimpse of myself, I immediately saw my mother – I was pale, the dark circles under my eyes were pronounced despite tons of makeup and my hair was untameable, "I look dreadful, 'Mione, can I not just go back up to the dormitory and -"

"No, you can't." she said firmly, linking her arm into mine as we walked into the Great Hall, "We're going to have some lunch and then we're going to talk about this."

I sat down at the Gryffindor table and immediately sourced some coffee and essentially poured it down my throat. I resisted rubbing my tired eyes, which would draw attention to my lifeless skin, though the makeup did make me feel a little more human.

"Katie has been transferred to St Mungo's." Harry informed us, "They're hopeful that they can find a cure."

"Good." I nodded.

Harry offered me the dish of chicken slices in front of him, "I don't think I saw you yesterday. What did you get up to with George?"

Ron went a shade of beetroot, "Harry, we do not want to know what Kathryn and my brother were doing!"

"Oh, it was all very PG, Ronald." I assured, there was a roughness to my voice, not that I was annoyed at him, but because my throat felt oddly raw. I probably strangled some screams last night, in fact, I know I did, "A very sobering number of hours, if I'm honest. Dumbledore summoned me to the Burrow – Your mum is doing good and your dad is still working – He wanted to tell me that the Death Eaters were planning on taking me from Hogsmeade."

"Taking you, taking you?" Hermione asked.

I sighed, "No idea if they wanted to kill me, rough me up, assault me, question me, bring me to Voldemort or if they wanted to sit in a circle and tell me how pretty I am." I rolled my eyes, taking another gulp of coffee, "Then George -"

"Wait. Wait. Wait." Hermione stopped me, "You can't just flick over that like changing a TV channel. We saw Tonks, she asked where you were, we thought it was weird, but now that makes sense."

"Then George and I had lunch in London and then we went back to the shop where he lectured me on how I should show more concern for my own safety and he shouldn't be the only one terrified at what these Death Eaters might do to me. So he well and truly had me scared shitless and when I got back to Hogwarts, McGonagall had a go at me for being late and then told me about Katie."

"It was pretty damn terrifying watching it happen," Ron said animatedly, "She just lifted up into the air, with her arms out, and then started screaming -"

Hermione added details, "You know she was carrying a cursed necklace in a package up to the school?"

I nodded.

"I saw Malfoy look at the necklace in Borgin and Burke's four years ago when I was hiding from him and his dad! This is what he was buying the day when the three of us followed him! He remembered it and went back for it. You've got to corner him about it."

"Harry, you saw that necklace, what – four years ago? How do you know this is the same one? Doesn't that sound a little far-fetched? Besides, Draco wouldn't -"

"Draco wouldn't what, Kathryn?" Harry said impatiently, "He wouldn't what? Finish that sentence."

I got a shiver, resigning myself to the obvious conclusion, "It was meant for me."

"What?" the three of them said together, shock written all over their faces.

I got another chill up my spine, as a draught escaped from the front doors opening, "Think about it."

"Oh my." Hermione went pale.

"What? What is it?" Ron questioned urgently.

"Katie Bell." Harry whispered.

Ron let out a string of curse words, "They wouldn't want to kill you, would they?"

I let out a booming laugh, even though this conversation was anything but funny. I think if I didn't laugh, I'd cry. "I don't know what they're capable of. It's like George said, I'm in a stupid amount of danger because I can't predict what is going to happen next. They're desperate. And desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't imagine they'll make a mistake next time."

Another string of swear words sounded from all three of my friends.

"So you can imagine why I wanted to be alone last night?"

"But you don't have to be." Hermione said, resting her hand on mine briefly, "It always scares me when you go into yourself like that… No one can talk to you, it's like you have this wall up and you don't even realise people are there… But we are here, all of us."

"I know." I said, before digging into a sombre lunch I wasn't terribly hungry for.

Harry finished first and was itching to break the silence that ensued between us, "Listen, Kathryn, I know you think the sun shines out of his backside, or whatever the expression is, but I think Malfoy was the one who -"

"For goodness sake, Harry! He was in detention with Professor McGonagall, it can't have been him." Hermione groaned, "Please don't plague Kathryn with everything we've already discussed and discounted as possible."

"But he's bound to have known the plan," he said.

I glared at him, "I know what you're trying to do, Harry. Please stop."

"What's he doing?" Ron asked.

I set down my fork on the table very gently and took a gulp of water to wash everything down, "He's trying to plant a seed of doubt into my mind, to get me annoyed at Draco, to blame him for not telling me about the planned attack on me, which, we don't even know if he actually knew about and then that would sever any relationship I might have with him because I have to be able to trust him."

Ron blinked, "Woah."

I glanced over at the Slytherin table. My head was doing that thing again where I couldn't get rid of an idea. It clung on in there like a bad smell. Have you ever spilt milk in a car? If you know, you know. The table had mostly emptied, now that it was the end of lunchtime. I had this overwhelming desire to clear my mind with regards to Draco. I had to ask him. I needed my mind to be put at ease, "And now, thanks to you, Harry, I've got some familial issues to solve."

"Where are you going?"

I looked to Harry, "The Slytherin Common Room, where else?"

I started the descent down the stairs towards the Slytherin Common Room. It was a lot cooler down here in the dungeons. The corridors were deserted and uninviting, with an odd dripping sound and an unpleasant smell. A door slammed in the distance, but I was determined. As I walked past Snape's office I heard him call after me, "Miss Pink, the Gryffindor Common Room is on the seventh floor."

"Thanks, Sir." I said sarcastically.

Snape strode towards his office door, "Miss Pink?"

"Yes sir?"

"What are you doing?"

I paused on the stair I was on, holding onto the freezing cold bannister, I focused up towards my teacher, "I am looking for Draco. That's not a crime, is it?"

In the shadows I could see the rise and fall of Snape's shoulders as he took a steadying breath. I always managed to irk him, it was an ability of mine I prized, but right now I needed him to go away. So I stood and awaited his verdict, "You should exercise more caution." He said before swishing his cloak and returned to his work.

Weird. Either way, I was delighted he decided to piss off and I hopped down the remaining stairs and stood where I hoped was at the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room, in front of the bare stone wall. I crossed my fingers behind my back and said, "Pure-Blood."

The door appeared.

"Lost, Gryff?" a cocky-looking fourth year called out from a wooden table beside the fireplace where he was playing Wizard's chess with a peer as I stepped into the gloomy-green Common Room.

"You know, someone's already said that to me, but cheers for the reminder," I gave him a sarcastic thumbs-up and scanned the room, I saw Theo and Blaise sitting in deep conversation on one of the dark green, button-tufted leather sofas, "I'm surprised you're not in the library telling me off for doing Alchemy work." I plonked myself in the middle of the two, making myself comfy.

Blaise Zabini gave me the dirtiest of looks, "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for Draco?" I responded with a look of distaste befitting of such a stuck-up man-child.

"How'd you get in?"

"Oh, come on, I'm not stupid." I scoffed, "You can at least give me credit for having a brain. It's not exactly the most fool-proof of passwords. If I recall, it's been the same since we were in first year?"

"You've been in here before?"

I nodded, feeling rather proud of myself. Even though Blaise had now decided he was not even the slightest bit interested in my presence or how I managed to get here. I was now officially old news, and a hindrance to their very important discussion.

"The password changes every fortnight." Theo said, filling in the silence that followed Blaise's rudeness, "Who told you what it was?"

"I literally guessed!" I shrugged my shoulders, "You Slytherins are a little predictable, I'm afraid."

"Oi, what's she doing here?"

"Glad you noticed my presence." I waved, to an unsuspecting Crabbe and Goyle, "You two fancy getting Draco for me?"

"He's not seeing anyone today." They both said in sync.

I grimaced, "I'm sure if you told him that his favourite cousin was here, he'd make the exception." I twiddled a bit of my hair between my fingers, looking at them expectantly, but they didn't move, "Get on with it, then!" I prompted them, and they both rose to their feet like robots, "Oh and boys, if he doesn't come down, tell him that I'll come up to your dormitory and see the filth you five live in."

"Em, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, hi Pansy, how lovely to see you. I'm actually here to see Draco." I said in a very honeyed voice, extending my legs, purposely drawing attention to myself, resting my feet on the edge of the coffee table.

She looked at me as though I was dung, "I'm going to tell Snape you're here. You'll be in so much trouble."

"I wouldn't bother." I said simply, "He already knows I'm here. I walked past his office, you see. Go ask him if you don't believe me." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Kathryn?" I heard Draco's voice over that of Pansy Parkinson who was moaning about how I always manage to get away with stuff, and how I should back off, because Draco was her man, when he approached me, he was blinking disbelievingly, "I'm not feeling very well."

Well that certainly matched up, his pale face was already a lot paler than usual, the dark circles under his eyes weren't unlike mine, which were now covered by makeup. His hair was sticking on end, too and he was sporting a pair of very expensive looking cotton pyjamas, "I can come up to your dormitory, if you like?" I suggested, "You do look a little peaky." I stood to approach him, stepping over Theo's outstretched feet, feeling Draco's forehead, taking his hand to feel his pulse, "Take this." I said, having summoned a potion from my own supplies, the Invigoration Draught that Fred and George had produced on mass, "Trust me."

With that, he knocked it back and gave me a massive smile as the effects kicked in, "I could kiss you."

I tapped my cheek, "Right there."

And he kissed my cheek.

And Pansy looked devastated.

Kathryn 1:0 Pansy

"Give me five minutes, then I'm all yours." Draco smiled reassuringly, running up the stairs to his dormitory.

It was one of those really awkward moments in my life where Pansy looked at me as though she'd like me to go die somewhere. Then Millicent proceeded to give me daggers as she consoled her friend. I really didn't know that many Slytherins, not that I particularly wanted to, but I thought I might have received a better reception with who my parents are. Theo and Blaise were now bickering and I sat on the edge of the coffee table and waited.

"Hey – I've just remembered something!" Theo jumped to his feet, clearly finished with Blaise, and beckoned me over towards the huge mantelpiece in the centre of the room where the cocky fourth year was sitting, "Look here!" he tapped on the dark wood.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?" I questioned him, wary that I looked like an idiot, but he stood over me, his hand pointing over my shoulder where I could make out names that had been etched in there, "Bella Black? That's -?"

"Yeah and if you look beside -" again he pointed over my shoulder.

I traced the letters with my fingers, "Rodolphus Lestrange." I said slowly, "My parents." I said with a smile, "You know, I've never met my father." I paused, "Well, should I say, I don't remember ever meeting my father."

"Sure mine's in Azkaban."

"So is mine."

I lowered my head in shame, not knowing what else to say. He was the only person in that entire common room that was treating me like a human, and it was very thoughtful of him to show me my parents lasting legacies in this room. I looked along the list of names, there was a guy called Steve Laughalot who appeared to have a broom carved beside his name, then my eyes were drawn to Andromeda's name. The relative who made it in Hogwarts as a Slytherin and ended up a half-decent human being, married to a muggle. There is always hope in the world.

"Kathryn, I'm ready." Draco announced his presence.

I jumped, having been lost in my own world. He was now in his robes, which naturally were black, another thing that set us apart, his lack of dressing as a Muggle. But I guess it's all he knows. Anyway, he led me out of the common room and we started walking around the castle. He didn't say anything until we got out into the open air, where he finally let out a deep breath and relaxed.

"You need to be careful around him."

"Theo?" I asked, "Why."

He raised an eyebrow, "You are so much better than him."

"Aw, you really do care about me," I squeezed his cheek, "so who in the world is suitable enough to make the cut?" I joked, "Theodore Nott is one of the sacred 28, his father is -" I stopped, distracted.

Draco licked his lips, and his eyes lingered on mine for a little too long. He leaned slowly forwards before jolting backwards, "Sorry…" he took a deep breath, "Even after all this time, I -" he stopped himself before choosing his words carefully, "I care about you. He isn't good enough for you."

It was in that moment that I had a very important decision to make. I could change the dynamic of our relationship on a massive scale, but it wasn't the right time. Instead, I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight, "I care about you, too." When I pulled away, I changed the topic, "What about this whole Katie Bell thing?"

He froze on the spot thinking, "What about her?"

"I think you know as well as I do what happened, Draco. The whole school has been talking about how she was cursed."

"Oh, that." He started walking again.

I caught up with him and asked, "I just wanted to know if you knew anything about it? I've heard that it was a bunch of Death Eaters that had the whole thing planned."

He stopped and turned to face me, "That's news to me." His eyes searched my face, "What am I missing?"

"Dumbledore told me that a bunch of Death Eaters were looking for me in Hogsmeade yesterday, I was also informed that they were looking for me in Fred and George's shop."

"What did they want with you?"

We started walking again, "Well that's what I was going to ask you!"

"I know Bella was annoyed that Dumbledore revoked your privileges, she wrote to me to ask me to intervene, but I told her that there was no use because you were stuck in detention and he was adamant that you were to be punished." He sighed, "I also told her that you punched McLaggen because he offended our family, so I think you could have a bit of leniency on that, but at the same time, you really are on thin ice. You really can't get into trouble again, Kathryn. We can't have Dumbledore watching us."

"Dumbledore constantly watches me. Nothing I do gets past that man. He just thinks that I'm going to be working with you, instead of against you."

"Which you are." Draco smiled, his fingers brushing against mine as we walked, "We're a good team."

I shook my head, "I look like I'm on a fricken fence, Draco. Slytherins look at me in disgust, all they have to do is look at my friendship group, a muggle born, the chosen one and a blood traitor. That's probably why those Death Eaters tried to kill me, because I'm not pulling my weight."

Draco stopped once again, "Sorry, what?"

"Katie Bell was cursed. All they had to do was look at the brown hair, brown eyes and ask if her name was Katie."

Draco went very pale indeed.

"You see?" I said, "I'm as good as dead."

"No, it wasn't meant for you, I mean, it couldn't have been meant for you."

I smiled, rubbing his arm gently, "Stop trying to protect me, Draco. Only Katie knew who that parcel was to be delivered to, and she's now lying in a bed in St Mungo's in a coma for the foreseeable future." I swallowed hard, Draco did, too, "If I'd just been in Hogsmeade -"

Draco raised his hands as if to argue, "Then what?"

"Then I'd have been able to find out what they want."

"Where were you anyway?"

"Dumbledore." I said, "I told you, that man must have me tracked, he stops my written communication and then he stops me from seeing people. Maybe if I found out what they wanted, then I wouldn't -"

Draco put his hand on my arm, stopping me from walking, and with that went my train of thought, "You wouldn't be alive." He said, "I couldn't bare it if they -" he said, "I'll find out what happened. I'll tell mum that you got in trouble again and that the teachers seem to have it in for us. McGonagall put me in detention and Dumbledore stops you from going into Hogsmeade, don't you think that's curious?"

"Can't be a coincidence." I mused, "Next thing we will be banned from talking to each other. We're just going to have to get creative, Mr Malfoy."

He desperately tried to hide a smile and I elbowed him playfully, "What do you suggest?"

"If it gets that far?" I laughed, "You'll have to start sending me notes across classrooms."

He smiled, "Love notes?"

"Whatever way you think will get me the message without getting caught."