Brace yourselves everybody, cause like everything that involves Deadpool, this are gonna get really crazy, really fast. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters appearing in this story.

Replace and Amaze

Deadpool 2 (Unbreakable, Destroy All Humans, Gravity Falls, The Lego Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, Transformers)

"Hi everyone!" Deadpool waved as he and Weasel sat at a table in a back room of the bar. "Your probably thinking, Deadpool, What are you doing here? Isn't this story about switching characters? Well I went to have a word with the author of this story, at 3 am, after breaking into his house, he seemed upset for some reason. Weird." Wade shrugged. "Anyway, threats to burn down his house were made, tridents were pulled out from under the bed and stabbed into my face. One shoot out, sword fight and Mario Cart Race later, I realise I am at the wrong house." Wade chuckles. "The moral of this story is, always make sure you have extra milk in the fridge cause you never know when company's gonna come over. Right Weas?"

"What?" Weasel looked up from his phone, having not listened to any of that.

"Exactly," Deadpool nodded. "Now then, bring on the Super Duper F***ing group!" He looked around, "what the f***?" He let out sigh, "and apparently I'm being censored for some reason."

"Meet, the Overseer." Weasel handed Wade a headshot, but the merc was too busy staring at the man in the raincoat standing in front of him.

"ITS BRUCE WILLIS!" Wade screamed in a high pitched voice. "This is an honor sir, you're the reason I crawled through vents as a kid. Will you say Yippee Ki Yay Mother F****r?"

"Be cool Wade," Weasel whispered.

"DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR ME!" Deadpool snapped. "So," he composed himself, "got any powers?"

"I have super strength and I'm invulnerable." He said.

"Really? Then you won't mind if I do this!" Wade jumped over the table and swung a katana at him. But the overseer caught it in his hand without it cutting his skin. Wade gasped right before he was grabbed by the throat and thrown backwards into the wall hard enough to crack it.

"I also have Security Instinct." He explained. "If I touch someone, I can see the evil things they've done."

"Define evil?" Weasel asked before nervously adding, "and does that apply to browser history?"

Wades arm shot up and gave a thumbs up. "Your in!"

"This is Cryptosporidium."

"Call me Crypto." the Furon said.

"That sounds much less venereal diseasey ." Wade quipped. "So what are you packing?"

"A whole lot of guns." Crypto began switching between his weapons. "Zap-O-Matic, Disintegrator Ray, Ion Detonator, Meteor Strike, Gastro Gun, Burrow Beast, Dislocator and the Anal Probe."

"Wait," Weasel's eyes widened. "What was that?"

"Good question Weasel." Wade nodded. "What the hell is a Dislocator?" Crypto fired a disc at him and he was lifted out of his seat and has hurled around the room in random directions. "Ow! Ow! Damn it! Ow! Oh skittles! Ow!" Wade said as he repeatedly banged off the walls before falling to the ground. Wade picked himself up. "Cool," he sat down, "What else can you do?"

"I've got Psycho-kinesis, strong enough to lift a tank." Crypto explained. "Cortex scan and Body Snatch."

"Did you say Body Snatch?" Weasel asked.

Suddenly a beam shot from Cryptos head to Weasels, the Furon seemed to disappeared into the beam and shoot into his head. Weasel turned to Wade, "Yeah," came Cryptos voice, "I said Body Snatch."

"Final question, do you have a spaceship?" Deadpool asked.

"I have a flying saucer." Crypto replied.

"So retro." Wade said. "Does it have ridiculously destructive weapons?"

"Of course," the controlled human nodded.

"Your in!" Wade smiled under his mask.

"Speaking of in." He moved around in his seat. "This is the most uncomfortable person I've ever bin inside."

Wade didn't respond and looked at the 4th wall. "That ones too obvious even for me. Just kidding!" He looked back to the controlled Weasel, "that's why you should always use protection, and you might wanna get yourself checked."

"Wade did you put drugs in coffee?" Weasel asked. "Cause right now I'm seeing a giant Lego figure."

"I actually put a dangerous amount of drugs in your coffee." Wade confirmed. "But the glorious plastic figure before you is very real.

"My names Emmet." He smiled. "I'm a Master Builder."

"Cool," Wade nodded. "I'm a masterb- ut, what does that mean exactly?"

"I can do stuff like this." Pulling lego pieces out of nowhere, Emmet quickly assembled a double decker couch. "Pretty cool right?"

"That was so cool I don't even care where you got all those legos." Deadpool was already laying across the top of the couch. "You're in."

"And this is…" Weasel paused in confusion.

"I am Groot."

"YES!" Wade shouted. "Yea! Yes! A million times yes!"

"Wait," Weasel spoke up. "Wasn't he like a teenager?"

Groot pointed at him, "I am Groot." Wade burst out laughing, almost falling out of his seat.

"What did he say?" Weasel asked.

It took a full minute for Wade to stop laughing so he could answer. "No idea."

"And finally,"

"Hey," the redhead in flannel smiled. "I'm Wendy."

Deadpool and Weasel looked at each other and back to Wendy. "How old are you?"

"Sixteen." She said.

"We probably should've said, must be eighteen or over." Weasel realised.

"Probably." Wade nodded. "So got any powers?"

"No." Wendy shook her head. "But I've seen a ton of crazy and weird stuff."

"Such as?" Wade asked.

"Ah, old people ghosts, a shape shifting monster, robed weirdoes who wipe peoples memories, a bunch of unicorns who were total jerks and a whole bunch of demons."

Wade stared at her for a moment. "I had that exact same dream last week."

"So your like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but in flannel?" Weasel asked.

"Come to think of it," Wendy thought for a moment, "I've never seen a vampire."

"Consider yourself lucky." Wade said. "They're over used. Go on."

"When I was a kid my Dad made me compete in these Lumberjack games. I ruled at them." She smirked.

"Lumberjack games?" Weasel sipped his coffee. "That sounds stupid." Wendy pulled a small axe from her belt and threw it. The blade cut through the side of the cup, causing the hot coffee to spill out onto Weasels lap. "GAH F***!"

"Complete splash coverage on the groin, beautifully done." Wade nodded. "Tell me more."

"Well instead of Christmas, my Dad had me and my brothers do apocalypse training." She explained.

"How to survive it or how to cause it?" Wade asked causing her to give him a look. "Hey I don't know what teenagers who aren't into drugs are into."

"To survive," she clarified. "I'll show you," she turned around. "Try and grab me."

Wade looked at Weasel who trying to clean coffee of his pants. "Well I can't think of anyway this can end badly." With that he walked over and grabbed her by the back of her shirt. Wendy flipped over Deadpool and snapped his arm, causing him to yell in pain. "Holy F***!" He faced the redhead. "That was awesome! Up top!" He raised his arm to hi five her, but his arm was bending the wrong way. "Make that down low." Wendy awkwardly hi fived him.

Later

Inside the plane everyone geared up for the mission as Deadpool stood before them. "As a former X-Man."

"Trainee." Overseer cut him off.

"Thank you The Sixth Sense." Wade continued. "The point is, we will be known as," He crossed his arms in front of him, "X-Force!"

"Awesome!" Emmet cheered.

"I just wanna say how proud I am of this team." Wade said. "you guys-"

"Hey Deadpool?" Wendy spoke up. "Listen my Dads calling, can you tell him you hired me so I he knows my jobs real?"

Wade stares at her for a moment. "Sure, I wasn't making an important speech or anything." He took the phone, "hello Mr Coruroys. This is Mr Deadpool. Yes I have employed your daughter. Her axe skills. Oh yes, shes the manliest one here."

"Hey!" Wendy protested.

"You should be very proud. Okay gotta jump out of a plane now, bye bye." With that he hung up. "As I was saying, "LENARD! HIT IT!" The lights inside the plane turned red and the hatch opened behind Deadpool. "Go! Go! Go!"

Overseer and Wendy jumped out while Emmet looked down. "We are way higher up than I thought we'd be." He said nervously before he was shoved out by Crypto who chuckled. But was then kicked out by Groot who then jumped himself.

Deadpool jumped out with a flip and falls to join the others, they formed an X shape as they fell. Wendy cheered, Crypto laughed, Emmet screamed, Overseer was silent and focussed. While Groot covered his eyes, peeking through his fingers.

"Time Out!" Deadpool called and time seemed to freeze. "That's from saved by the bell for those of you who are under forty. Now spoiler alert, this is part in the movie where everybody gets blown off course and dies in very shocking ways. First of all if you really needed a spoiler alert, how have you not seen this movie yet? Second, you seriously think I'm gonna let something bad happen to Groot? Who do I look like, Thanos?"

"SCENE CUT!"

"I am so honored that you finally accepted me on top your team Mr Pool." Dopinder smiled brightly as he drove his taxi.

"Yeah well we couldn't do this without you Dopinder." Wade said as he sat in the passenger seat, while Overseer, Crypto, Wendy and Groot who was a baby again sat in the back.

"You should have taken the wind into account." Overseer said.

"Noted Looper." Deadpool looked back at him. "By the way I have a script for a new movie. Die Super Duper Hard! Its 20% more gun fights and 100% more nudity."

"Smile!" Wendy held out her phone with one hand and held baby Groot in the other.

"I am Groot," he smiled as picture was taken.

"Dipper and Mabel are gonna love this." Wendy smiled.

"I must say, its very lucky you found that magic amulet that lets you turn into baby Groot and vice versa." Dopinder said.

"That was weird." Crypto noted.

"Hey," Wade broke the 4th wall, "Do you want to ask questions, or do you want baby Groot? That's what I thought."

Wendy whispered to the others, "who is he taking to?"

"I'd rather not know." Overseer replied.

Dopinder rolled down the window. "How are you doing up there Emmet?"

"I'm great!" Emmet called down from the roof of the taxi, sitting in a lego chair he'd built for himself.

"The convoys up ahead!" Deadpool stuck his head out the window. "Emmet! Activate the turbo thrusters!"

"Mr Pool, my taxi doesn't have thrusters." Dopinder pointed out.

Wade looked to see Emmet finish assembling large thrusters on the back of the taxi. "You do now!" The thrusters ignited and the taxi blasted forward at high speed causing Dopinder to scream. "As much fun as it would be to see Dopinder shit his pants." Wade broke the 4th wall. "We gotta skip to the orphanage fight."

"SCENE CUT!"

X-Force ran through the gates of the orphanage, armed and ready for a fight including the once again adult Groot. Wade then noticed Dopinder running with them. They all came to a stop when they spotted Juggernaught at the door.

"I'm gonna shove that cab driver, right up your ass." Juggernaught threatened.

"My body and my hands are so soft." Dopinder said in fear.

"Dude you should head back to the car." Wendy advised.

"I am Groot."

"Agreed." With that Dopinder ran back to the car.

Cable readied his gun as Juggernaught approached. "It works best when you pull the trigger." Wade whispered. Cable then blasted Juggernaught backwards into the wall of the orphanage. "That gun is amazing."

"Seen better." Crypto readied his own gun.

Juggernaught quickly recovered and approached them as Wade and Crypto opened fire. "Now I'm gonna shove the red guy, up the old guy."

"I believe him," Wade said. "Everyman for themselves!" With that they all scattered.

Cable tried to fire again, but Juggernaught grabbed the gun swung it at him, Cable raised his metal arm to defend himself and the gun broke in half. "Beat it midget." Cable was barely able to raise his shield before Juggernaught kicked him hard enough to send him flying into a car.

Emmet quickly built a large hammer which he struck Juggernaught with it, but it had no effect. He swung again but the villain caught it and threw it and Emmet over his shoulder.

"EAT HOT PLASMA!" Crypto opened fire with his Disintegrator Ray. Juggernaught charges as the blasts hit him and smacks the Furon through the air with enough force causing his shield to fail. "That could've gone better." Crypto groaned as he opened his eyes, only for them to widen as Juggernaught raised his fist to crush him. The villain swung his fist down, but Overseer stepped in and caught the fist with both hands. It drove his feet into the ground a little, but he stopped the attack. Juggernaught then uppercut the Overseer, sending him flying backwards to the ground. He raised his foot to crush Crypto but the Furon activated his jetpack and flew out of that spot.

Suddenly several cinderblocks struck Juggernaught and he turned to see Groot throw more at him. "I AM GROOT!"

"You are DEAD!" Groot swung a vine at him but Juggernaught caught it and swung him around before throwing him against a car.

Wendy tried to hit him with her axes, but they couldn't break Juggernaughts skin. He grabbed her with one hand and lifted her off the ground. "Hands off creep!"

Wade used the distraction to jump onto Juggernaughts back and stick his swords into the sides of his helmet. "Hey big guy. Suns getting real low!" Juggernaught grabs Wades leg with his free hand. "Oh this hurt in the movie two." He pulled Deadpool off his shoulders and swung him around before slamming him down on a metal gate, causing a metal spike to go through Deadpools head.

"Don't worry guys I'll save you! With my triple decker couch!" Emmet sat atop it.

The other just gave him odd looks, "I am Groot?"

"Oh its comfy alright. But this couch," it shifted into an exo suit which punched its palm, "is a convertible."

"That's neAAAAHHH!" Wade screamed as Juggernaught threw him off to the side where he hit a wire fence.

Emmet jumped at Juggernaught punched him in the face, forcing him to drop Wendy. The Master Builder repeatedly punched the villain, forcing him to step back. "Your couchin for an ouchin." He threw a strong punch but Juggernaught caught his fist, "uh oh." Juggernaught ripped the whole arm off and proceeded to smash the exo suit with it. "Urgh," Emmet groaned as he lay in the remains of his build with his head spinning. "Were there always three of you?"

Juggernaught was about to finish him off when Groots vines emerged from the ground and wrapped around the villain. "What the?" He was then electrocuted by Cryptos Zap-O-Matic, giving Wendy a chance to pull Emmet to safety.

"Okay," Wendy brought Emmet back to Overseer, Crypto and Groot. "We're three people down, ideas?"

"Get him back on his feet," Overseer said to Wendy before turning to Groot and Crypto, "you can lift things with your mind right?" He asked the latter.

"Yeah, but can't seem to lift this metal headed monkey." Crypto replied.

Overseer looked at the villain, "throw me."

Juggernaught broke free of the vines and his eyes widened when he saw Overseer being lifted by the Crypto's Psycho-kinesis. The Furon launched Overseer like a rocket, he hit Juggernaught and knocked him to the ground and began punching him. "You son of a!" Juggernaught swung at him but he jumped away, he got up tried to punch him but Overseer side stepped the attack and punched the villain repeatedly him the kidneys. "ARGH!" Juggernaught tried to swat him away, but he used the villains giant size against him. Overseer punched him in the back, Juggernaught threw his leg back to kick him but he dodged the kick and then kicked the back of his knee forcing Juggernaught to fall to his knees. Before he could recover Overseer wrapped his arms around his waist and lifted him off the ground before performing a suplex to slam him headfirst into the ground. Juggernaught shook his head clear, but vines wrapped around his legs and pulled him along the ground before swinging him into a bus.

"Suck on these!" Crypto used the Ion Detonator to fire multiple plasmatic ion bombs onto Juggernaught who noticed them just in time to see them explode in his face, also causing the bus to explode in a large fireball.

Wendy slapped Emmet hard enough to cause his whole head spin around. "Whoa," he blinked at the fire. "What I miss?"

Juggernaught stepped out of the fire, looking more angry then hurt and charged at them.

"Hes fast for a big guy." Wendy observed.

"Oh yeah?" She turned to see Emmet finish building a vehicle with a mounted gatling blaster on the back. "You got a drivers license?"

"Nope." Wendy jumped into the driver seat. "But that never stopped me before." With that they drove into the fight.

Juggernaught grabbed Groot and threw him through the air. "PEW, PEW, PEW, PEW!" He was bombarded by energy blasts as Wendy drove circles around him,

"Wait," Wendy looked back at Emmet. "are making that noise with your mouth?"

"PEW, PEW, um, PEW, PEW, no." Emmet said, but then his eyes widened. "LOOK OUT!"

Wendy looked to see Juggernaught charge at them and hit the car, breaking apart most of it and sending the rest through the air. The two of them screamed as the were about to hit the ground, but they stopped in the air. They looked to see Crypto was levitating them with his Psycho-kinesis. "Whoa," Wendy gasped. "Thanks for the save man."

"Saving humans, what have I become?" Crypto sighed. "Now listen up."

Overseer side stepped Juggernaughts punch, but left himself open to be head butted by the villain then kicked away. "HEY!" Juggernaught turned to see Wendy reading her axe.

"Hahahah!" He laughed, "you still think you can hurt me with that?"

"No," Wendy smirked, "But I can make you stand still long enough."

"Huh," Juggernaught raised an eyebrow when suddenly an orb landed at his feet. "What the-" he was cut off when a giant worm like creature with teeth emerged from the ground, trapping Juggernaught it his mouth. It shook him around for a few seconds before pulling him underground.

"What was that thing?" Overseer asked.

"That was the Burrow Beast." Crypto said proudly. "You don't wanna be anywhere near the lure when its launched."

"So," Emmet looked around, "did we win?" He got his answer when Juggernaughts fist punched up through the ground. The villain pulled himself out of the ground and he removed one of the Burrow Beasts fangs from his shirt.

"Guess not." Wendy said.

Over by the gate, Wade looked at his team who were backing away from the Juggernaught. Suddenly a horn was heard and Wades eyes widened. "Everybody play You've Got the Touch, right f***ing now."

A red and blue truck came speeding towards them and drove into Juggernaught, lifting him off the ground before skidding to a stop and threw him through the air into a wall. The truck began to transform, "I am Optimus Prime and you shall harm no one else." Juggernaught got up and charged at him, but Optimus side stepped to dodge the villain. He punched Juggernaught in the face several times before grabbing him, driving his knee into Juggernaughts gut and slammed him into the ground.

The others regrouped and watched the fight. "Are you guys seeing this?" Wendy asked.

"Yes," Wade nodded as Optimus activated his blaster and blasted Juggernaught in the face, "and its glorious!"

Suddenly there was an explosion. "SAY IT!"

"Russell," Cable narrowed his eyes.

"Bingo." Deadpool said.

"Wait." Overseer spoke up, looking to the door that had been blown open. "Theres other kids in there."

"Your point?" Crypto asked.

"Shit!" Deadpool snapped. "Okay, Cable and I are gonna talk to Russell. Talk to, not kill." He clarified. "Gravity Falls, Die Hard with a Vengeance," he looked to Wendy and Overseer. "Get in there and get the kids out. Everyone else," looked to Crypto, Groot and Emmet, "Back up the greatest guy in creation!" Pointed at Optimus as he fought Juggernaught. "X-Force, MOVE OUT!" With that the split up.

Juggernaught tackled Optimus to the ground. "I'm gonna recycle you!" He was then hit in the face by plasma blasts and cannonballs. "What the?" He looked up to see Crypto firing his disintegrator ray and Emmet firing a lego cannon he'd built. "You little-" he was then wrapped up from behind by Groots vines.

"I am Groot!"

Optimus punched Juggernaught off the ground, Groot then swung him around and threw him across the yard. "Thank you my friend," the Prime got to his feet.

"I am Groot."

"Wise words indeed." Optimus smiled. "Lets us end this fight."

Inside the orphanage, Wendy and Overseer ran through the halls searching for the children when they were confronted by orderlies with riot shields. "Great." Wendy sighed.

"I've got this." Overseer stepped forward. "Go find the kids." Wendy nodded and ran down the hall.

"Get him!" They charged at Overseer who held his arms up as their shields hit him. They tried to pushed him back but he forced them backwards. Eventually they tripped and fell to the ground. One of them swung at him but Overseer grabbed his arm and threw him against the wall hard enough to knock him out. While he grappled with an orderly, another grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall and hit Overseer in the back with it. Overseer threw the orderly back and grabbed the fire extinguisher before head butting him. He threw the fire extinguisher at another orderlys head.

Wendy ran not the sleeping area to find the children, but also a couple of orderlies with small wooden clubs. "Alright." Wendy spun her axes in her hands. "Bring it."

On orderly swung at her but she swung her axe and cut through his cub before kicking him in the gut. The other came at her but she dodged his swing and hit both sides of his head with the blunt sides of her axes. The first orderly came from behind and grabbed her. The disoriented orderly recovered and was about to strike her, but she stomped on the foot of the one holding her. This weakened his grip and Wendy slipped out, so the other orderly to strike him in the head with his club. Wendy then kicked his legs out from under him, causing him to fall and hit his head on the metal bed frame and knock him out.

"You little punk!" The remaining orderly grabbed her wrists, pushed her back into a pillar causing her to drop her axes.

"Hands off creep!" She kneed him in the groin making him grasp and release her wrists. She then hit him with an uppercut causing him to stumble backwards and trip over one of the axes and fell butt first towards the other axe which had somehow landed with the blade pointing upwards. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as Wendy and the children all gasped at what just happened.

Outside Deadpool had an orderly in a headlock and was about to hit him with the brick when he suddenly winced. "Oooooh, I kinda felt that one." Then he hit him in the face with the brick.

In front of the orphanage, Optimus punched Juggernaught in the face, followed by a kick from Groot and giant rocket powered hammer strike from Emmet. They all jumped back, "what the-" suddenly Juggernaught was hit from behind by a Death Ray. He looked up to see Cryptos flying saucer. "THAT ALL YOU GOT LITTLE GREEN MAN!?"

"I, am, not," Crypto fired the Anti-Gravity Field and trapped Juggernaught inside it, "GREEN!" With that Crypto lashed out with every weapon the saucer had. The Sonic Boom, The Quantum Deconstructor, the Electro-Cone, Seeker Drones and Plasma Cannons.

Juggernaught picked himself up and grabbed the remains of the bus, tore it in two and through both pieces at Crypto. The saucer tried to avoid them but both hit it, causing the saucer to crash. One of the piece fell towards the wall of the orphanage.

"Okay guys stay calm." Wendy told the children. "I'm gonna get you all outta here." The bus piece then crashed through the wall leaving a large hole. "Huh, convenient. Lets move."

As the Children ran out of the building, an unconscious orderly was thrown into the room as Overseer walked in. "What happened to him?" He pointed to the passed out orderly with an axe in his butt.

"Don't ask." Wendy asked.

Crypto pulled himself out of the saucer and Juggernaught towered over him. "You actually thought you could stop the Juggernaught?"

"Nah," Crypto shook his head before smirking. "Just giving Emmet a minute to work."

"What?" Juggernaught blinked before Groots vines wrapped around his helmet so he couldn't see.

Emmet was putting the final pieces together, "and DONE!" He held up a large lego Star Saber. "All yours Mr Prime."

Optimus took the sword and it glowed brightly. "This ends now." With that he charged at Juggernaught.

The villain began tearing away at the vines around his helmet, but didn't see Crypto pull out another weapon from behind him. "I've been waiting to use this all day." The Furon grinned as he charged the Anal Probe.

"RRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Juggernaught tore off the last of the vine in anger. But then something hit him causing his body to freeze and his eyes to widen. "Pppprrrrrttt," his hands went back to cover his rear. "What the f-"

"LANGUAGE!" Emmet shouted.

Juggernaught looked forward just time to see Optimus swing the Star Saber. Up in outer space, looking down at the Earth an explosion of blue light could be seen. Back at the orphanage, Optimus, Crypto, Groot and Emmet stood looking down into a large crater in the ground, at the bottom of which lay the Juggernaught, out cold.

"The battle is over." Optimus said.

"We did it!" Emmet cheered holding up his hand and Groot hi fived him.

Groot sniffed, "I am Groot?"

"Huh?" Emmet smelled the air. "URGH! What is that smell?"

"Heh," Crypto chuckled. "Juggernaught had a little accident."

Deadpool popped up behind him. "Should have worn his brown pants."

I really let my imagination run wild with this one and I loved it.