26th December

This morning I woke, not to the snores of Fleur Delacour or from getting nudged by Ginny Weasley, but instead it was the crack of dawn and an eagle owl was tap-tap-tapping on the window.

"F*ck sake." I said under my breath, placing my feet on the cold floor, shuffling past all the wrapping paper, presents, clothes and accessories before reaching the window. A freezing cold breeze gusted into the room, blowing the curtains wildly out of place, as I stuck my arm out and wrenched the letter from the beak of the owl before it had the chance to get in, "Shoo."

I tiptoed back across the room and got under the warm duvet and closed my eyes, not that I could sleep with the looming contents of the letter addressed to 'Katy'. I sighed to myself and sat up, ripping open the envelope.

My beautiful daughter Katy,
When I asked you to Malfoy Manor for Christmas, that was not an invitation, that was a direct order. How dare you be so rude, especially to your mother. If you were to speak in that tone around the Dark Lord, you can kiss your life goodbye. Merlin knows, I'll kill you myself. You are not a child any more. You do not live with those people any more. I have taken their lives. Therefore, you need to get up and get on with it and stop trying to gain my pity. I will never pity you.
Your information on Harry Potter was abysmal, to say the very least. You gave us nothing to work on as he is not staying at the residence of Alastor Moody.
I'm going to make myself quite clear, so do not misinterpret my following words: If you do not come alone to Malfoy Manor on the 27th of December, I will find you and I will kill you. I promise you. When you are here, you will tell me everything you know about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. If you don't, I will kill those closest to you, starting with the red-heads, one by one, leaving you to last when I will torture you and leave you pleading for death.
You know what you have to do.
Your loving mother,
Bellatrix Lestrange

I shuddered involuntarily.

I was sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the words on the parchment. Out of nowhere, I was forced to run to the bathroom where I vomited violently.

"Kathryn? Is that you?" Molly appeared at the bathroom door, "Are you alright?"

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, "Not really." I flushed the toilet and stood up, "I think I'm going to shower now."

No amount of hot water was going to wash away these problems. No amount of make-up could mend the expression on my face. I walked into the kitchen to find Molly with her hands around a cup of tea, there was another sitting waiting for me.

"Before you ask, I'm not pregnant."

Molly shook her head, "I've had seven children, dear, I know how it works. You don't get symptoms for a number of weeks, unless you have been leaving school to rendezvous with my son?"

I shook my head, "You know I'm not like that, Molly."

"I know," she reached over and stroked my cheek, "What's on your mind?"

"This is bad."

She took me by the hand and we went into the living room and shut the door behind us, "What can I do?"

I swallowed hard, "I need you to be my mum."

"Oh Kathryn," she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in close so that my head was resting on her chest as she stroked my hair, "you know I love you like you're one of my own."

I lay with her cuddling me, enjoying the feeling of being held by a mother, the woman I chose to be my mother. I figured out what to say next, "I don't want a fuss. No flowers. If you get my body back, I want to be cremated and scattered, you can let George choose where. Make sure he does it, I don't want him carrying around my ashes for years. Make sure he finds someone amazing, let him know that I want him to be happy and don't let him settle for anyone less than he deserves."

"Where has all this come from?" Molly sounded frightened.

I took the letter out of my pocket and handed it over.

Tears soon flowed from her eyes, "Don't go."

"I have to." I told her, "You know I have to. Or she won't stop. She'll kill you, she'll kill all of you and I won't let that happen."

"George won't let you go."

I smile weakly, "He will, in the end. He knows I always find a way of coming back."

"But -"

"If I don't go, that's 100% chance of being hunted until my eventual death. If I do go, I've got a chance of living. I've just got to lie and I've got to be good at it, too."

Lunch today was a doleful affair. Ginny hasn't stopped crying from the moment she had finished reading the letter. George hasn't said a word. Neither has Harry. Molly has tried to normalise today as best as she can, keeping me talking, cooking me my favourite foods, keeping my tea cup constantly topped up. But I didn't feel much like talking.

Chances are, I'm not going to survive this. I don't know what to do. I need a plan.

I took myself off to the garden where I sat under a tree where there was no snow. The Burrow was so quiet it was impossible to think. If drinking an entire bottle of firewhiskey would solve my problems, I would chug it down. Molly had tried everything; got in contact with Dumbledore, who responded simply with 'she must go'. She asked Alastor Moody, who said that he would accompany me, but probably wouldn't get past the Manor's defences in time. She pleaded with Severus Snape, who seemingly didn't find my life important enough to respond to her message. So many people were contacted and Molly was now at her wit's end.

She's determined to save me, but I know the only person who can save me is myself.

"I'll go." George said, approaching me, "I'll take your place."

"You can't do that."

"I'll get some Polyjuice Potion; I'll fight her, I'll -" he said, standing tall.

I stood, brushing the snow off his shoulders, "I won't let you do that."

"I can't lose you." his voice broke, but he managed to hold it together.

"You won't." I gave him a small smile, "I'll always be with you." I took off the princess ring and the locket around my neck, adding the ring to the chain, I placed it into his freezing cold hand and closed it, "I want to keep the promise ring, if you don't mind?"

"Don't give up, Katy, not like this." Tears now streamed down his face, "Please don't give up. Don't let her win." He cupped my face in his hands, staring into my eyes.

I bit my lower lip, "If I don't make it, George, take whatever of mine you want, I'll leave you my vault key, spend the money on your family, give Remus money so he can buy Tonks a massive ring, do something good, okay? If you decide to read my diaries, please forgive me for the things I've written in anger or downright immaturity. There's the odd nice thing about you in them, too."

"The odd thing?" he flashed a smile in his heartache, but I couldn't let myself be reduced to tears, I couldn't crumble, I need to be able to walk with my head held high.

"Yes." I returned the smile, placing a hand on his chest. He had come outside without a jacket and his body trembled. I opened up the buttons of my coat and pulled him in close to me, sharing my body heat as I listened into the sound of his beating heart.

I'm going to miss this smell, this feeling, this man.

He already knows this, of course. But if you're reading this, George, I love you. I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I would never choose to leave you unless I had to, to save you and that is what I'm doing.

I looked up at him and said, "I know this is a bit forward, but I've got a hotel room and about…" I looked down at my watch, "eighteen hours to formulate a plan to keep me alive. We can order everything on room service?"

He smirked, holding out a hand, "Deal."

27th December

I told everyone last night that I was going on a trip and I'd see them all soon, maybe in a day or two. No fuss. I wrote a few letters, just in case, but I'm quite determined to do this, to come out alive. George and I slept beside each other in the hotel, holding each other, aided by a gulp of sleeping potion each. I need to be well rested and on the ball for this to work.

George sat watching me, a resolute smile on his face, his mindset as determined as mine as I got myself dressed to kill. We had considered my outfit very carefully. If you're going to defeat the odds that are stacked against you, you've got to do it in style. That's what I say, anyway.

My makeup was slick, my hair was tamed, my outfit was all black, including the black leather combat boots Tonks gifted me. It took all the courage I had to tell George that I was ready. We left the hotel. I kissed him one last time and we disapparated.

We both knew he couldn't stay outside Malfoy Manor's gates for long, so he dropped me off, told me he loves me and left. I know that's one of the toughest things I've ever asked him to do, but he said that he couldn't let anyone else take that place.

I walked through the wrought-iron gates, pushing myself to keep up my moderate pace along the winding path towards the front door. Taking the handle, I gripped it hard, I pressed it down and walked in.

"You know, if you wanted to see me that badly, I could have thought of less dramatic letters to write." I smiled.

Bellatrix Lestrange stood before me; her hair wild, her expression wilder. But I wasn't afraid of her. I placed my travelling cloak and woollen coat on the stand, set down my overnight bag and made myself at home as she called, "Cissie, she's here."

Narcissa Malfoy exited the dining room, making the effort to soundlessly close the door behind her. She bore the same tired eyes and greying skin as her son, the two of them struggling under the weight of the burden that is Lord Voldemort. She approached me and hugged me tight. She didn't say anything.

"Let's not keep him waiting, Cissie." Bellatrix opened the door to the dining room and beckoned for me to follow behind her, "My lord." She gave him a small courteous bow as I walked in. My heart was pounding in my chest, but nonetheless I kept my cool composure, "May I present to you my daughter, Katy Lestrange."

"Pleasure to meet you, my lord." I gave him a much deeper bow than Bellatrix had, going against every fibre of my being as I stared into the livid scarlet eyes of Lord Voldemort, not daring to let myself glance elsewhere. It's just like Richard. I told myself. Speak when spoken to, don't flinch, don't even move a muscle, show your strength in your stance. Voldemort walked around me, inspecting me like a farmer would inspect cattle.

"You are a friend to Harry Potter?" he asked after making his rounds.

I nodded, "Yes, my lord."

"You are acquainted with members of the Order of the Phoenix?"

With the same unwavering composure, I responded, "Yes, my lord."

"You have the trust of Albus Dumbledore?"

Again, I nodded, "I believe so, my lord."

Voldemort took a seat at the top of the long dining table, where Lucius Malfoy one sat proudly, but he wasn't here. His home was no longer under his control, "Take a seat, Katy."

Audible gasps resounded around the room as I took the indicated seat to his left hand side, "Thank you my lord." I said, wondering if a skirt or dress, or even wizarding robes would have been more suitable attire. But I knew I couldn't dwell on the little things. When I got myself settled I glanced at the individual sat in front of me. Severus Snape.

"Tell me about the whereabouts of Harry Potter."

"He's at the Burrow, my lord, the home of Molly and Arthur Weasley."

He leaned forwards, his scarlet eyes scanning my brown ones, he was trying to penetrate my mind and I was resisting, "You can confirm this?"

"Yes, sir -" I caught myself on, "My lord."

Voldemort nodded to someone further along the table, who immediately disapparated.

"What else can you tell me about Potter?"

I forced a genuine smile, "I assume you know he turns seventeen on the 31st July?" there was a stony silence, I needed to up my game, "Harry has been told by Dumbledore not to leave the confines of the Burrow, they've every manner of protection and enchantments placed on the home by the Order of the Phoenix."

"Are members of the Order of the Phoenix staying there?"

"Erm… Molly, Arthur, Bill," I said, moving a curl out of my eyes, "The twins have closed up business in Diagon Alley for Christmas, so I'm assuming they're back at the Burrow for the time being and they're what… eighteen or nineteen now, so they're eligible to join up. The family are also friendly with the werewolf Remus Lupin," I said, feeling immensely guilty, but Remus himself told me to mention his name, "who I know is a member of the Order, and I'm sure you know of Nymphadora Tonks, Alastor Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt. I don't know who has visited the family, but they're bound to make an appearance at some point."

I watched as his slits for nostrils flared on his flat white face, this isn't what he wanted to hear. He awkwardly repositioned himself on the chair as though he didn't like the feeling of the wood on his scaly skin, "I need more information."

"Do you know about the DA? Dumbledore's Army?"

There was a lot of chatter down the long table, suggesting many more people were listening to me than I initially thought, "Quiet!" Voldemort commanded and you could have heard a pin drop, "Is Dumbledore raising an Army?"

"Last year he attempted to, recruiting selected students, where they trained to fight together." I nodded, "It got disbanded when Dolores Umbridge took over as Head Mistress. Whilst it hasn't been restarted, I can't help but think that's what he's doing when he's not at Hogwarts." I surmised.

Voldemort nodded, his skeletal hands with long blue fingernails gripped the edge of the table, I watched him as he stood and walked around the room, considering my well-constructed web of information, "And what of Harry Potter's meetings with Dumbledore?"

"Both men are very private about what goes on in these sessions, my lord," I said, "But what I have been able to deduce is that the two have been discussing the idea of Harry being the Chosen One, but with the Prophesy haven been destroyed, it's very much guesswork." I knew I needed to add some icing to the cake, but I didn't know how. I needed to tell him something of true worth, "He also comes back from those meetings absolutely exhausted, so my guess would be he's teaching Harry to fight."

"Do you have any information on Dumbledore's whereabouts?"

I shook my head, "No, my lord, all I know is that he is travelling over the holidays and will be back in the castle for the beginning of term. I have asked him directly where he's going and what he is doing and he told me that it wasn't the right time for him to tell me." I said, praying that those last few words might increase my chances of my life being spared. Voldemort was watching me, reading me. He is a skilled Legilimens, Snape told me countless times, so I just had to keep my mind clear and my body composed.

"Bellatrix told me that you attended an affluent Christmas Party?" Voldemort questioned, a copy of the Daily Prophet appearing into his hands, "I understand that this is you on the front page with Harry Potter?"

"Yes, my lord."

He turned the page, "And this is you with the Minister for Magic?"

"Yes, my lord."

"And these other Ministry workers? Are they aware of your parentage? Your superior blood status?"

I nodded, sitting myself up a little straighter, as though proud, "Told them myself, my lord."

"Who is the man second from the left?" a paper was dropped onto the table in front of me.

I glanced briefly at the picture, "Pius Thicknesse – Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, a quiet man."

"You have been of particular use to me, Katy." He spoke slowly, I must have said something right, "You may prove very useful to me in future."

High praise.

"You flatter me, my lord." I said.

He took out his wand.

There was a sudden stiffness to the air. I had to force air into my lungs as he redirected his attention to me, "Your left arm." He pointed his wand at me, his other hand raised. My heart was beating so hard in my chest, I could barely contain all the emotions that were trying to escape, to show themselves on my face, to present as my weakness.

"My lord?" I questioned.

"I wish to brand to you, Miss Lestrange." His skeletal hand reached further still, he rose eagerly to his feet, "Your left arm."

I mustered all the courage I had and placed a proud smile on my face, "My lord, I would consider it an honour, but branding me may be a false move. If I am to maintain Harry Potter's trust, I cannot risk it." I feigned disappointment, "If he were to discover where my true loyalties lie, my lord, I wouldn't – or Dumbledore, he keeps an annoyingly close eye on me, my lord. Branding me would risk your connection, my inside information, my – but if you think it necessary?" I stood to take off my jacket. I was feeling rather hot, despite being one of the furthest away from the roaring fire. I rolled up my sleeve before staring into the eyes of Voldemort once more.

His wand hand twitched. The room stirred. In the corner of my eye I could see Snape scratch his left arm. Their Dark Marks were burning.

Voldemort disappeared.

I flung my attention behind me, the female Death Eater that was very heavy-handed on the Cruciatus curse during the summer was sitting two seats up from me. The man with long blonde hair and blue eyes disapparated, as did everyone else in the room, one by one, including a man who was unmistakably Fenrir Greyback, who licked his lips when he caught my gaze.

"I'll deal with you later. Stay here." Bellatrix shouted cross the table before disapparating.

Soon it was just Narcissa, Draco and me. I sat in complete silence. I didn't know who or what was watching me, so I maintained my air of impenetrability.

Narcissa approached me slowly, "It's just us," she said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, "You were so brave."

I nodded.

Draco pulled out the seat beside me, where the man with the blonde hair sat, "Talk to me." he reached out an unsteady hand and hesitated in mid-air, my nailbeds white from the force with which I was clasping my hands in my lap, "You did good." His skin briefly grazed mine.

I watched at him, he looked as scared as I felt as he paced the room. I felt like I should be dead already. I'm just living on borrowed time. I'm waiting on Bellatrix Lestrange to return. I didn't even realise Narcissa had left the room as she appeared with tea and sandwiches on a floating tray behind her, "Eat." She said, "You'll need your strength."

"I don't think you'll be surprised if I tell you I'm not that interested in food right now." I said, "In fact, what I am interested in, is knowing why the hell you haven't let me out of here, yet."

Draco and Narcissa shared a glance.

"Just tell me."

Narcissa cautiously stepped towards me, "If I let you go, she'll find you and she'll kill you. If you stay and act like a member of the family, then -"

My feelings got the better of me, "Act like a member of the family? Act like a member of this family? She was the one who gave me up, remember? I wasn't good enough then and I'm only here now to give information, which I've done, so as far as I'm concerned, I've served my purpose." I stood and made my way over to the door, slamming the handle down.

"Kathryn!" Narcissa pleaded, "Stay, please. I can protect you here."

I scoffed, "I'm sorry, did you not see Voldemort try and brand me about ten minutes ago?"

"And you dealt with him so well."

"No," I told her, "I got lucky."

The three of us were silent for quite some time. Draco and Narcissa sat and ate, if they were talking, I wasn't aware. I was immersed in my own mind. I couldn't help but think that Voldemort was now dragging Harry out of the Burrow as I sat, doing nothing, having been the person to betray him. The one thing I told him I'd never do. I hoped that McGonagall's words rang true, that the Burrow was impenetrable.

The fire was growing gradually smaller without the fuel to keep it going strong. My protests were futile. Bellatrix wasn't coming back any time soon. I stood.

"Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen," I said, "You two ate all the food and I don't want to die on an empty stomach."

The three of us were sitting in my second favourite room in the Manor, the kitchen. I had made a massive dish of creamy chicken and bacon pasta bake, leaving plenty of leftovers. We shared a lot of laughs together. It was just like the summer I spent here. Narcissa was sat with a glass of white wine. Draco and I were playing a game of exploding snap, not that I was particularly good at it, but he appreciated my company.

"I know about the money you put in my vault…" I said conversationally, "What is it you want from me?"

Narcissa appeared surprised by my abrupt change of conversation, "I just want for you to able to live comfortably."

My eyebrows furrowed, "I find that hard to believe. Everyone wants something from me these days." I stared into her eyes, "There must be a reason?"

We heard a creaking noise, someone was coming downstairs, "Stay alive." She whispered into my ear as Bellatrix entered the kitchen.

"Why are you three down here?" Bellatrix entered the room, looking dishevelled.

Narcissa took a sip from her glass before responding, "I quite like it down here."

"I made dinner," I told her, our game had come to an abrupt halt, "I made enough for you, if you're hungry?"

Bellatrix approached me as I continued to sit on the stool, her face getting uncomfortably close to mine, as she searched my face before her eyes landed on mine, "I'm surprised you're still here."

"Well, I thought it was about time I acted like part of the family." I said.

"Huh." She blew a curl out of her face and walked around the island unit and inspected the remainder of the pasta, leaning down to sniff before screwing up her face in disgust, "I need to speak to you. Alone."

Bellatrix Lestrange indicated that I ascend the stairs first. I glanced over my shoulder towards Narcissa and Draco for what I imagined to be the last time. At the top of the stairs she impatiently overtook me. I didn't know where she wanted to go, but that soon became clear as we walked into the drawing room.

"Why did you stop calling me mum?" she asked immediately after slamming the door behind us. I didn't even have time to sit down. Perhaps now was the time to stand, to take whatever she wanted to throw at me.

"I stopped because you stopped treating me like your daughter." I spoke honestly, "Our letters became more and more business-like and I regarded them as such."

"Why do you not talk to me like you talk to Cissie and Draco?"

I met her eyes, which weren't showing the emotion of the question just asked, "Because I hardly know you. I know business Bellatrix, but I don't know my mum."

"The Dark Lord was rather taken by you earlier." She told me, "Said you had potential."

"That's very kind of him." I replied, getting an inkling that she wasn't as happy for me as I thought she might have been. I did what she asked. I showed him respect, I gave him information which lead them straight to Harry Potter. What else could they want?

Bellatrix was breathing heavily, "I see right through you." she circled me, I am her prey, "You are a LIAR!" she yelled, brandishing her wand, firing a curse at me.

I quickly got out of the way, taking out my wand, ready to defend myself, "I gave the information you wanted. I only found out -"

"Shut it." She said, trying to use a silencing charm on me, but I was too fast.

She flung another curse, followed by another and another. Each curse I dodged, the progressively more irate she got. This could be my chance. I need to fight back. I shot a Stunning spell at her.

"Look who's decided to play." She smirked, using her stupid mocking baby voice, "Let me see what you're made of."

I would have loved nothing more than to blow up this entire room, and have the huge stone fireplace fall on top of her. Spell after spell I forced in her direction, and as they were deflected, sections of the room were destroyed. Lucius wouldn't be amused.

It was as though Bellatrix was playing with me, because next minute, she rammed it up a gear and her spell work was much more powerful than I could compete with. She had me on my knees at one point, my body no doubt covered in bumps and bruises. That's when she smiled, "I hope you said goodbye to your beloved red-heads."

She cast a powerful spell, which felt like all the forces of the world were coming together into this ball of reds and greens and a whirlwind above her head, swiping away all my pathetic attempts at stopping her. I could see the moment her eyes lit up that I was dead meat. I closed my eyes as she sent it my way, drawing up all my might to soundlessly cast a huge shield charm, Protego horribilus a charm I'd never produced before. As the mighty spell hit, I was able to control it, rebounding it back on her, creating an explosion.

Shocked though I was, I had to keep concentrating. I thought of the perfect spell. 'Diffindo' I concentrated with everything I had, swiping from the bottom of her abdomen, and it was when I was almost at her heart, she fought back, sending me off my feet, landing with a crunch on the floor. She had just used the body binding curse on me.

"How dare you." she leaned over my body, her blood dripping on me. She grabbed a knife from under her robes, from a belt, "If the Dark Lord can't brand you, I will." She grabbed my left arm and sliced into my skin at least twenty centimetres in length. I couldn't scream, I couldn't move. I couldn't fight back. I just lay there as Bellatrix laughed hysterically over me, her kill. With a flick of her wand, I was released, and she disapparated.

"Kathryn?!" I heard the shouts of Draco and Narcissa as they pounded up the stairs and burst in through the door. Narcissa gasped as she saw the state of my arm.

"It's fine." I told her, using my unharmed right arm to push me up off the floor, but it was proving difficult.

Narcissa fell to the ground, "Did she use the blade on her belt?"

"Yeah, why?"

"That blade is poisonous."

I looked down at the gathering pool of blood, "I can't feel my arm." I tried not to panic.

She ripped up her robes and tied a strip of cloth tight above the cut, "We need to get you to St Mungo's now."

"She'll hurt you if she finds out you helped me." It was a lot harder to breath now as I tried to stand. Draco put an arm around me, holding me steady, "Do you trust me?" I knew I had to work fast as I pointed my wand at the mess and repaired everything. I vanished the blood on the floor, making it look like nothing happened.

"Yes, Kathryn, you know we trust you."

"I'm going to make it look like I've got up on my own accord and you two are going to act oblivious." I said, summoning all my belongings where I pulled out my diary and I scribbled a note to George, who agreed to turn up at the gates in seconds if I wrote anything.

I scrawled one word. 'Poison.'

Draco followed me with my belongings as I hobbled towards the door and Narcissa placed a potion bottle in my hand, "This will knock you out, but it will slow down the rate of infection by slowing your heart." She gave my hand a squeeze as I took a step outside, "I love you." she told me.

I nodded, willing myself to respond, but I couldn't. I was getting weaker by the second. I forced my feet to move, to carry me along the winding path, past the stupid white peacocks, along the perfectly pruned hedgerows. Every ounce of my energy was draining quickly.

"I've got you." Draco grabbed onto me tightly as I stumbled. By the time we reached the wrought-iron gates, Draco was essentially carrying me. My legs were like lead and my head was all fuzzy. I felt myself perk up as I saw George, standing there. But I couldn't hear him due to the enchantments.

As the two of us crossed the boundary together, George picked me up and carried me bridal style, "Thanks." He said sincerely to Draco.

"Kathryn, drink the potion now." Draco told me, helping me un-stopper the bung, "I'll explain everything to George. Drink it. Trust me, it might just save your life."

I tipped my head back, and gulped down the potion. Within seconds my body felt heavier and Draco's hurried conversation to George became increasingly more blurred. I felt myself relax and the world was going darker… darker…

"You're okay, I'm here, I've got you." George held onto my limp body tightly, the last words I heard were, "Stay with me, Katy."