1st February

I stood at the back of the Great Hall, invisible, watching as every sixth year stood in space around the room. Some looked constipated, others were sweating profusely but the main thing was that they were all staring at a wooden hoop a metre or so in front of them with all their might.

I'm not fit enough to try to apparate right now, but it was fun watching the end of the first lesson nonetheless. I was very unsurprised to see Harry standing directly behind Draco, watching his every move as he seemingly argued with Crabbe and Goyle. Hermione, naturally was at the front of the hall, eager to be the best as always. Ron was near Seamus, Dean and Neville in the middle of the room, Lavender, Fay and Parvati not too far away.

"Until next Saturday morning everybody, and do not forget: Destination, Determination, Deliberation…" spoke the Apparition Instructor from the front of the room, I wouldn't have noticed him apart from his announcement. He was a rather colourless man, with transparent eyelashes, wispy hair and an insubstantial air, as though a single gust of wind might knock him over. He certainly appeared to possess the qualities of someone who regularly disappeared and reappeared at will. I hope I don't look like that in 30 years!

The man walked with McGonagall out of the Great Hall and I took my leave, taking it nice and slow back up the stairs towards where I was supposed to be: McGonagall's office. On her desk, I found a file with my name on it which contained a plan for my return to study including all of the work I missed and a timetable of sorts for me to catch up. One whole month of teaching amounts to quite a lot of work.

"Ah, Miss Pink! You're already here …and you've found the action plan."

"Come on, you can't leave a file with my name on it lying around and expect me not to be curious." I reasoned, "I've actually completed quite a lot of this work already," I placed a pile of parchment on the table and nodded, "I was really bored."

Wrinkles appeared on McGonagall's forehead as she flicked though the work I had completed. I had arranged everything into piles, one for each teacher.

"Some of the earlier work mightn't be my usual standard, I'm pretty sure I was high, the medication I was on was a lot stronger than the stuff I'm on now." I told her, "Jensen's evaluation was completed this morning, there's a letter," I placed it in front of her, "confirming that I am fit to return back to school on a 'phased return', so I have to take it easy and he said that if I need to leave or skip a class then I should. He also wants me to attend for a check-up next weekend. There's also a list of my medications and a letter for Madam Pomfrey, but I'll pay her a visit myself. Maura has also cleared me from a psychological point of view, we have our meetings scheduled for the next few weeks."

McGonagall let out a long, measured breath, "It appears everything is in order."

"Great." I gave her a smile.

"But one thing you haven't told me… how are you?"

I nodded, "I'm okay. I'm keen to have something to do again."

"Nightmares?"

"Only a few, but they haven't completely awful. I think it's because she thinks I'm dead." I said honestly, "I wonder how long it'll take for her to realise I'm alive once I show my face at dinner?"

"I'm afraid I don't know."

I shrugged my shoulders, "What's going to come will come, hopefully I'll survive a little while longer."

McGonagall looked down the end of her nose at me and said very slowly, "Indeed." She was going to say something else when there was a confident knock at the door, "Enter."

"Pro -" shock was written all over his face, "Kathryn!"

"It's good to see you, Harry!" I beamed at him, standing as he gave me a gentle, cautious hug, "How are you?"

He nodded, "I'm – you're – we thought you were -"

"Do I look dead to you, Mr Potter?"

"It really is you!" he beamed, hugging me again, "People wouldn't tell us anything, not even Fred, Mrs Weasley or even George, then when we left for here, we knew you were alive, but things didn't look great and then the Prophet said you were dead and no one at home would send us messages about what happened and you -"

"You've got to understand, Harry," I said slowly, "If Death Eaters found out I was alive and in St Mungo's I – I wasn't fit enough to fight them off, I'm barely able to run right now. You have no idea how hard my recovery has been and continues to be."

The two of us sat down in front of McGonagall, "You've got to tell me everything."

"I feel like there are more pressing issues you need to tell me about first." I tilted my head, "I nearly died and have recovered, what's happened in the life of Harry Potter in the last month?"

There was another knock at the door and McGonagall bade them entry.

Hermione Granger stood in the doorway and burst into tears.

"Miss me?"

"You have no idea." She blubbered.

I gave her hug, "I'm sorry I didn't write -"

"You couldn't risk it." She sniffled before blowing her nose on the hankie McGonagall gave her, "Everyone thinks you're dead."

"You can imagine Tonks' reaction, I got told off for not dying." I smiled, "I'm such a terrible person." I said whilst hugging her, "You know, we still don't know who posted that in the Prophet. Wasn't one of us, we reckon they were trying to flush me out, I say let the world think what they want to think."

A further knock at the door, but this person didn't wait for McGonagall's response, but came into the room nonetheless, "Oh, it's you." Ron muttered, "You're not dead."

I held my hands in the air sarcastically, "Surprise."

Ginny arrived at the already open door next and uttered, "Sorry I'm late, Professor, Dean forgot to tell me the message and – ohmygoodnesss KIT KAT?!" she pounded towards me, her arms wrapping around me in a rib-shattering embrace, "I've missed you so much. How are you? Are you coming back?"

"Aowch," I groaned, closing my eyes, clutching my abdomen before taking a seat to steady my spinning head, "I didn't account for this."

"I'm so sorry…" Ginny was on her knees at my feet. Harry was rubbing my shoulders gently.

"I'm fine." I breathed after a minute, "A month ago, when I woke, I wouldn't have felt that." I clutched my ribs again, as pain shot through me, "Re-growing your nerves is much more painful than re-growing bones, I can tell you, Harry." I placed a hand on my shoulder where he was soothing me and patted.

"Kathryn, what happened?" Ginny implored, "George, Mum and Fred refused to tell us anything. I did overhear from a pair of extendable ears that she stabbed you – oh goodness, did you get stabbed in the stomach?"

I shook my head, "No, Gin." In that moment, I couldn't bring myself to tell my friends what had really happened. I barely looked at it, tried not to think about it, yet in many ways it consumed me and controlled how my body functioned.

"Are you okay?" I could hear the concern in her voice.

"Let's just say I won't be punching Cormac McLaggen any time soon." I tried my best to smile as I opened my eyes again.

"For goodness sake, Ronald, she nearly died, we all thought she was dead, give her a chance." Hermione spoke harshly, Ron was furious looking, "If you're not going to be supportive, you should just leave. I'm sure Lav-Lav is missing you."

Ron slammed the door on his way out.

"I see nothing's changed." I groaned.

Hermione sat back down again, "If you heard what he said -"

"You'll find that I don't care that much, 'Mione." I sighed, "Look, I promise I'll tell you guys everything, but right now I'm not in a good place. It's not your fault Gin," I looked to Professor McGonagall, "I need to go back home for my medication and a nap. I think I've overdone it. I'm going to start seeing stars and that's the type of honesty you've asked me for." I felt a pulsing pain in my right hand when I grabbed my travelling cloak, "I'll be fine. I'll see you all in the Great Hall for dinner."

"I've decided I don't want to go back anymore," I said, sitting at the kitchen table back in the apartment eating a slice of melted cheese on toast, I felt like a new person following a two-hour nap after taking all my medications, "Nothing has changed. People are going to find out I'm alive and that means it's only a matter of time before Bellatrix is pissed off and tries to kill me again. I don't have the energy to fight her any more, George."

"You do, Katy." He put his hands through my hair, "You are the strongest person I know and you can do anything when you set your mind to it." He kissed my forehead gently, "Besides, all I've heard out of you for the past 5 days is how you wish you were back at Hogwarts where you can learn something of use, rather than being my housewife, locked up in the apartment all day like a… what word did you use?" he reminded me with a smirk.

"House Elf."

He laughed at my expression, leaning forwards placing his hands on my thighs, "You're not the type of person who sits down and does nothing for very long. You're proactive, you'll have Hogwarts under your whip in no time."

"Har-de-har." I rolled my eyes at him, "I forgot how many stairs Hogwarts has. Reckon I could borrow your broom? Then I might have some hope getting to class on time."

George smirked as a thought formed in his mind before biting his lower lip, "I could always… give you a lesson or two of my own creation before you leave… to remind you… just in case you've forgotten? It has been a while after all… Want to go for a ride?"

I giggled, I couldn't help it. I think it was where his hands were exploring as he tried to entice me, "You are a very naughty boy."

He winked, "I'll definitely have to check your body over, make sure it has a thorough servicing."

"Whatever the expert suggests." I leaned forwards, "Is kissing acceptable?"

"Definitely."

I closed the gap between our lips and kissed him. It started off gentle but grew more and more passionate as I sat on his knee and got my hands into his hair. Garments of clothing were absentmindedly tossed onto the floor, one by one as George lifted me and carried me into our room.

"I reckon that was all the PT I'll need today." I sat on the kitchen counter in my dressing gown swinging my legs happily, drinking a cup of coffee, my hair soaking wet having had a shower and doused it in Sleekeazy Potion. George had just gotten out of the bathroom and I was sitting strategically to watch him.

"If you continue sitting like that, I'm -" he stopped himself.

I tossed my head to the side, teasing him, "You'll what, Georgie?"

He strode purposely across the kitchen and kissed me, "I'm going to miss you."

"I love you, too." I breathed in his ear, slipping off the counter, landing on my bare feet. I pointed my wand at my mug and had it washed in seconds, then I pointed my wand at my hair and it dried, perfectly straight and unimaginably soft, feeling weightless as I swooshed it back and forth.

"Killer outfit all sorted?" he followed me into the bedroom.

I pouted, "I'm debating between all white, to make me look angelic, all black to show my inner darkness or multi-coloured, so I can finally wear those tights Tonks bought me?"

"Is there a third option?"

I smiled widely, "How about this dress?" I held up the navy blue tartan dress with emerald green through it, "I haven't worn it in ages!" I put on a pair of plain navy tights and my comfortable brogues, knowing that I'll be sore without the added strain of heels.

"Perfect." He twirled me as Freddie opened the door to the flat.

I popped my head out from the room and smiled, "Hey you."

"Aren't you supposed to be back at Hogwarts?" he enquired, "not that I'm trying to get rid of you, I just thought."

"I've been to Hogwarts and I came back. Your mum is happy now that I've given her a full update on Ron, Ginny, Harry and Hermione." I glanced at George, "They're all exactly as I remember them."

Fred sighed, "Ron was an asshole, Hermione and him still aren't talking, Ginny was happy to see her Kit-Kat and Harry was more interested in finding out about Voldemort than you?"

I rubbed my face with my hands, "You know them." I rubbed my eyes again, "And now I've gotta stay awake and listen to them over dinner, escape to Madam Pomfrey to get medicated and I'm thinking an early night might be on the cards."

"Sounds good." Fred and George said together.

I flicked my wand, packing away the rest of my belongings sorting themselves neatly into my trunk. I knew what I had to do, but was reluctant to leave behind the comforts of the apartment. I threw some Floo Powder into the fire.

"Oh, Katy! Before you go!" George sprang into action, doing a silly little jog into the bedroom, reaching into his drawer beside the bed he lifted something out, "You asked me to look after these." He placed the necklace over my head and the princess ring on my finger.

I reached up and kissed him, "Thank you." I wrapped my arms around Fred, who looked left out, "I'll see you both soon, okay?" I stepped into the fire with my belongings, knowing it was now or never.

I felt so nervous walking towards the Great Hall that I made myself invisible. I was a little late, so I only came across the stragglers. I looked around the Entrance Hall with a new found appreciation for its beauty and the outstanding architecture. That's when I recognised a familiar figure sitting a little to the right of the doors into the Great Hall.

"You waited for me?"

"Of course I did!" Hermione hugged me back, "You're my best friend."

"I also happen to know that you're trying to avoid Ron, but I still appreciate the gesture." I jokingly showed her my teeth as she appeared offended, "You also know that we've got to sit with them, right?"

Hermione pulled a face, "Why? Why can't I have you all to myself?"

I placed a hand on her shoulder, "Because I can't die and then come back to life and then not sit with Harry Potter, that's why. I'll sit next to Ron and take one for the team?"

"Fine." She took a deep breath and as she was about to drag me into the Hall she paused, mid-footstep, "Why'd you get changed? And your hair, wasn't it curly earlier?"

I smiled, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." I resisted the temptation to do anything wildly inappropriate, even though I'd have loved nothing more than to embarrass her, but she's my friend and I need her on my side. She's too much of a prude to even mention the word sex in front of on the best of days.

She rolled her eyes and walked through the doors. I took a deep breath and followed. I did a quick scurry to catch up with her, trying my best to blend in as I glanced around the hall to find many eyes on me, shocked faces followed by loud whispers.

"Isn't she meant to be dead?"

"I wonder what happened to her?"

"Why would someone fake their own death like that?"

Don't you just love school gossip? It appears that there is hardly a good word to be said about me throughout this castle. My faith in humanity was ever-so-slightly restored when Ernie Macmillan stood, his chin somewhere on the floor before he picked it up and smiled at me.

"You're alive? I mean… Welcome back!"

I held open my arms and gave him a quick hug, "Miss me?"

"It really hasn't been the same without you."

Justin leant out from the table, "So quiet. Uneventful. Boring."

"Did you know? Is that why you were so quiet before Christmas?" Ernie asked.

"No." I said, "Look, there are too many people staring at me right now… Shall we meet in Muggle Studies on Monday morning? I've got a lot to catch up on and work to hand in."

The two boys nodded enthusiastically.

Hermione placed a hand on my shoulder and gently directed me towards the Gryffindor table where Harry and Ron were sitting side by side. Both their plates were filled and Ron was eating like there was no tomorrow. Hermione rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and sat down beside me, like it was paining her to do so. I served myself a bowl of stew, comfort food was definitely needed right now, I even added a squirt of tomato ketchup on top – don't knock it til you've tried it.

"So…" I said slowly, wondering where to start conversation, "Determination, Destination… something else beginning with 'D'?"

"How'd you know that?" Ron asked in a very accusatory manner.

"Deliberation." Hermione finished.

"Ah yes," I nodded, "Did anyone actually move, or was it you guys just staring into hoops looking hopelessly constipated for an hour? I only saw the last fifteen minutes or so."

Harry answered this time, "Susan Bones got splinched. She's alright, she lost her leg but the teachers fixed her and she's fine again."

Impressed, I nodded, "Cool. Molly said that she had a letter from Ginny saying that you lot were going to Apparition Lessons today. That's why I asked McGonagall if I could come back this morning, but she said no because my Healer said no. I'm not fit enough to do it yet."

"Why are you back then, if you're not well enough?" Ron asked.

"Because I was probably going to murder someone, and Fleur was definitely closest to receiving my fist in her face, but I'd most likely have hurt myself more than her and well… if I was going to be sat at home any longer not being allowed to do anything I'd have gone insane." I saw Ron's lips opening so I got a word in before him, "More insane, sorry."

He nodded as I ate a spoonful of dinner. I had barely eaten half of it but I really wasn't feeling up to eating much more. Stupid loss of appetite.

"Hey Kit-Kat." Ginny placed her arms around me from behind, "How are you feeling now?"

I rested my head on her as she slipped into the seat beside me, "A lot better than earlier, thanks. You've just got to learn to take me as you find me these days. Look, I know you're desperate to find out what happened, but right now I can't, I'm sorry." I forced myself to eat more dinner despite feeling completely repulsed.

"It's okay." She rested her head on mine, "Well you know where I am if you need anything."

"Course I do." I told her, "Just the same as I'm here for you, cause you know, I'm not dead now." I didn't get the reaction I hoped for, so I concluded that I really wasn't in the mood and I set down my fork and stood, "I'm going to Madam Pomfrey, it'll take ages to go through everything with her, so don't expect to see me any time soon."

Without further explanation, I got up and walked out of the Great Hall alone. Once I saw that no one was around, I made myself invisible so I didn't have to deal with the stares and running commentary as I walked towards the Hospital Wing. I did have my eyes peeled for Draco, I had so much I wanted to say to him.

"I heard that you were as difficult a patient for them as you are for me." Madam Pomfrey greeted me with a huge grin.

"You didn't think I'd make it easy for them, did you?" I smirked.

She wrapped her arms around me, "I know it's unprofessional, but it really is good to see you. Minerva said that you had a letter for me from Healer Jensen?"

I took it out of my bag and handed it over. I watched her intently as she read through my history and my long list of medications I had been on and the potions I was still to take under a strict regime, "You know someone's really broken when that's only a small section of their medical history."

"I really don't know how you're alive." She scratched her head, "That was a really rare type of poison you know."

"Bellatrix didn't exactly want me to survive, you know." I said slightly harshly, "And I'm bored stiff not being allowed to do anything at home and now I'm here I feel anxious."

She nodded, "It can't have been easy. The students in this school haven't exactly been kind to you over the years. Would you mind popping up on the bed so I can assess you for myself?"

"Not at all." I was grateful for the opportunity to rest my tired limbs.

"So after staying in hospital again, do you still want to be a Healer?"

"Yeah, I do." I told her about what I could remember from St Mungo's, the food, the staff, the exercises and the patients around me who were all still in comas. Some of them had been 'asleep' for months, one had been in a comatose state for almost six years, they were all waiting on cures that hadn't been developed yet. I was one of the lucky ones. I had this desire to give something back. My last session with Maura helped me realise that.

It had been a few hours when all of the tests were completed. Madam Pomfery was able to see my pain grow stronger as the time before my next dose drew closer. She examined the scar on my arm, but I looked away, disgusted by the disfigurement.

"There's nothing I can do to make that disappear…"

"I know," I said, staring at the doors into the Hospital Wing, as she poked and prodded.

When she was finished she suggested, "You could sleep down here tonight, if you wish? I can summon your clothes if you're too tired to climb all those stairs?"

"No, I'd better go up." I said, taking the potions, one by one, "Goodnight."

"See you in the morning."

2nd February

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked as she entered the Hospital Wing this morning quite flustered, "I woke up and you were gone and I thought -"

"I'm alright," I told her as she sat on the edge of the bed. I had been watching Madam Pomfrey as she worked around me, she was far more amusing than the Medi-wizards in the hospital. I noticed a definite chill in the air from the cool breeze that came from the corridor, and I had been lying down for quite some time, where I had the blankets pulled up over me as I sat up looking around, "I'm on a heap of medications, which are all given at specific intervals, so I get to spend a lot of my time in here. It's all part of my phased return action plan."

Hermione shifted my Charms textbook out of the way, so as to get closer to me, "I'll let you borrow all of my notes and I can help you with all your wand work."

"I think I've done all the notes, Professor Flitwick gave me a list of topics to read about and questions to answer. I'm just reminding myself of everything I read about when highly medicated."

"You were working during your stay in St Mungo's?"

"You'd do it, too." I chided as she was about to get all bossy on me.

She thought about it for a fraction of a second, "You're right." There were a few moments of silence shared between us, I imagined she was trying to figure out what question to ask me first.

"Are you happy enough for me to go get some breakfast now?" I asked Madam Pomfrey who was now sitting in her office.

"Of course, as long as you're feeling fit enough?"

"Yeah," I told her, "I'll see you after lunch."

I climbed out of the bed and put my shoes on, grunting on exertion, I could see Hermione hovering, not quite knowing what to do. There was an awkwardness between us. The gap of knowledge she knew she couldn't demand from me, although she was desperately seeking the information. I'm honestly surprised that they didn't ask Draco, considering I was at his home and they could have at the very least guessed he was present or knew something.

"You're unusually quiet…" Hermione said after a long silence, "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"I was this morning," I told her, "but now I'm just trying to work out how I'm going to deal with… everything."

"There's no need to be frightened." She said comfortingly, "When have you ever cared about what anyone else says or thinks?"

I let out a long measured breath, "Because I know it's just a matter of time before she finds out I'm alive, and she knows she's wounded me and that I'm weak and therefore vulnerable and consequently an easier target."

Hermione knew I was right, her face said it all as she tried to appease me, but I didn't look at her, instead keeping my eyes focused straight ahead. As we rounded into the Great Hall, she said, "And that's why you came back here, because you feel less vulnerable here?"

"That's part of it, yeah," I answered, walking along the gap between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, "and I couldn't risk being seen with any of the Weasleys. I was stuck with Molly and Fleur most days when Fred and George were working. They didn't like leaving me alone, you know, in case something happened again."

She nodded as we sat down together, "Coffee?"

I shook my head, "I can't handle caffeine at the minute."

Her eyebrows raised, her mouth momentarily slack, "No coffee?"

I smiled, "I've already had one this morning, I try to limit myself to three a day. I'll need one at lunch and another after dinner to get me through." I told her, "I'll also need a nap after lunch and I'm going to be quite sluggish, I can't run up and down the stairs and my appetite has been massively suppressed." I said as she was about to add a second heaped spoonful of scrambled eggs onto my plate, which she unceremoniously dropped back into the serving dish, "A lot has changed, but I'm still me." I took a piece of buttery toast and took a bite, washing it down with a glass of pumpkin juice.

I glanced up at the staff table where I found Professor McGonagall staring back at me. I gave her a teensy nod and my gaze continued along the table to Snape. Did he know?

"Earth to Kathryn?"

"Sorry…" I said, taking another bite of toast.

Hermione edged her head in some direction behind me.

"I heard this convincing rumour last night that someone –"

I scrambled out of my seat and threw myself into his arms, "Thank you!" I repeated over and over into his ear, "without you, I'd be -"

"Shhhh…" he spoke comfortingly, his awkward patting on my back became stronger, more confident, forming a tight hug, "Mum and I, we thought you didn't make it. When we didn't hear from you, and you weren't back at Hogwarts, mum put that message in the Prophet." He spoke in a whisper.

I released myself from his grip, "That was you?"

He nodded, "Bella was delighted with herself."

"I'm sure she was," I rolled my eyes, "she nearly succeeded. You have no idea what pain I've been through to be standing here today. Hours of physical therapy, hours of psycho-therapy, hours –" I looked at him and sighed, "I'm half the person I used to be. Please don't tell her that."

"I won't be telling her anything." Draco's eyes met mine, he meant it, "she hasn't had an easy time of recovering either… Severing charm? I'm impressed, she never saw it coming."

"That was the point." I gave him a small smile.

He took my left hand, "How is your arm?"

I yanked my arm back, muttering, "I may as well have a Dark Mark. It bloody well hurts all the time."

His lips became very thin and he looked around the Great Hall to find that many people were staring at us. Behind him stood Harry who was scowling, so Draco let go of my hand and nodded, "Look, I'm glad you're alive. Really glad. I'll talk to you later."

I nodded and as soon a Draco was out of earshot I glared at Harry and hissed, "He saved my life, you know, you don't need to look at him like that."

Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table, away from prying eyes and those trying to listen in, "You need to tell me what happened."

I bowed my head.

"I don't care what you had to do or say to survive." He said firmly, "I don't care if you had to sell me out. You were told to do it, so just tell me."

I swallowed hard, "I'm sorry…"

He reached out and placed a hand on top of mine and nodded, "Did you or did you not see Voldemort?"

"See him? See him?" I scoffed, "I was invited to sit at his left hand side and give him all the information he wanted. We had a lasting conversation, mostly about you."

Ron and Hermione now leaned forwards, "Bloody hell." Ron gasped.

Hermione spoke next, "Did you lie to him?"

"Well, you're all still alive, so…"

"But, I've heard that people aren't able to lie to You-Know-Who, that he's such a powerful Legilimens, he can tell."

I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Snape taught me, but he realised I was already very good at it. Comes with the childhood. I learnt to lie convincingly from a young age. With Voldemort, I just had to seem in control, relaxed and make him feel like he was the centre of my world with the perfect amount of brown nosing."

"You're good at that, too." Harry said, "Don't you usually call it schmoozing?"

"Schmoozing is fun," I told him, "Being face to face with Voldemort was not. I told him about Dumbledore's Army and he looked scared. I told him you were talking about what the prophecy could mean, even though it was destroyed, so I told him Dumbledore was training you up to fight and chances are when he leaves the castle he's trying to build another army."

He nodded, "That sounds good."

"He also was delighted with our front page photo." I told Harry, "Proof that we're besties. He was also particularly interested in the other picture with the Minster for Magic and the Department leads. He specifically asked me to identify Pius Thicknesse, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

"Any idea why?"

I shook my head, "I doubt it'll be the last we hear of him."

"So what did you do wrong?" Harry asked.

"He liked me. He was going to keep me around."

Hermione interjected Harry's babbling, "Oh my goodness. She was jealous. She was jealous and that's why she tried to kill you, to get rid of you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Your guess is as good as mine, but she wasn't a happy bunny at Voldemort wanting to brand me."

Harry, Ron and Hermione's chins dropped.

"He didn't, did he?" Harry's eyes were filled with concern.

I shook my head.

"Wasn't Draco just asking about your left arm?" Hermione questioned.

I swallowed hard, "That's where she cut me, with a knife laced with poison, right where it should have been." I shivered, staring down at the eggs which were still on my plate, untouched.

"Wait… let's go back."

And so I went back and gave Harry the details he wanted, I told him that I really didn't talk my way out of getting the Dark Mark, but it was really just pure luck that the Death Eaters got called away. I told them about my fight with Bellatrix, how I hurt her before she got to me. How I woke up six days later when Narcissa and Draco practically saved my life. I told them about the recovery process, I told them how I hurt and how I'm not really ready to be back at school, but I couldn't hack being at home any longer and I'm going to take this all one step at a time.

When everyone was satisfied with my explanation, breakfast was over and the hall had emptied. Ron made his excuse to leave. Hermione invited me to go to the library with her, but I honestly couldn't think of anything worse.

"Fill me in on everything I've missed." I said to Harry, who remained sitting opposite me at the table as no one had asked us to shift, "I've worked out that Ron and Hermione are still not talking, Ron is still with Lavender, Ginny is still with Dean and you're -"

"Very glad you're alive."

I snorted, "I like your desire for brownie points, I'm still not showing you my arm."

"Want to hear about my last meeting with Dumbledore? It was the day after term started."

I nodded, "Of course, I want to know everything. Go on." I used hand gestures to prompt him.

"I told Dumbledore about Scrimgeour's visit. He still won't tell me where he's going. He also said that what Snape said to Draco about confiding in you or him didn't really cause him worry." He rolled his eyes, glossing over the topic because it still annoyed him and was getting under his skin, so he moved on, "So Voldemort was obsessed with finding out who his parents were and when he couldn't find any record of a wizard Riddle, that's when he changed his name, wanting rid of the muggle bit of him. When he was sixteen he went to find his Gaunt relatives. He found out from Morfin that Marvolo was dead and his sister Merope had fancied the muggle Riddle who lived over in the big house. Then Morfin said that the sister married Riddle and stole Slytherin's locket. Do you remember me telling you about it?"

"Yeah, and there was a ring, too?"

"Morfin was wearing the ring, but the locket was gone. Dumbledore said Morfin didn't remember anything after that. His memory was blank, and the next morning, he was lying on the floor, alone. The ring was gone and there were 3 bodies lying in the drawing room of the big house – Tom Riddle Sr and his mother and father. The police couldn't work out how they died."

"Avada Kedavra leaves no trace." I murmured.

Harry nodded, "Morfin, who had been known to terrorise muggles was taken by the Aurors, and he admitted everything on the spot, you know, details only the murderer would know… Tom even used Morfin's wand to do it. He died in Azkaban, still convinced his father was going to murder him for losing the ring." He sighed, "He didn't deserve to die being blamed for murders he didn't do."

"No, I suppose not."

"Dumbledore showed me another memory… said it was the most important memory he had collected," Harry watched me from the other side of the table, giving me time to process before moving on, "You look sore… I can tell you later."

I tried my best to smile at him, "I'm always sore these days, Harry. This is nothing."

He nodded and continued, "We went into the memory of Slughorn, when he had thick straw-coloured hair and a gingery-blond moustache. He was sitting with his feet up on a pouffe, with a glass of wine and a box of crystallised pineapple. It was a Slug Club meeting with about a dozen teenage boys around him and Tom was there, wearing Marvolo's ring."

"So he'd already killed -?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah. So Tom asked Slughorn if it was true Professor Merrythought was retiring. Slughorn said that if he knew he couldn't tell him, but winked, and asked where Tom got his information from. Said that he was more knowledgeable than half the staff." He looked at me thoughtfully, "Slughorn commented on his ability to know things he shouldn't and his careful flattery of the people who matter, as he ate the pineapple."

"Are you trying to say that Tom Riddle was more of a swot than I am?" I raised an eyebrow.

Harry smirked, "I get the impression he was worse – anyway – that's when something funny happened in the memory, there was this dense white fog then all you could hear was Slughorn's voice loudly saying '- you'll go wrong, boy, mark my words'. But it wasn't like anyone else in the room noticed the fog… that's when Slughorn announced that it was time get to bed because it was late. One of the students was called Lestrange, and Slughorn was threatening him with detention if he didn't get his essay, and Avery too."

"I wonder who it was?" I asked, "Rodolphus' father? My grandfather? Do I look like him?" I felt myself getting too invested, "Not that it matters. I need to stop obsessing over blood relatives, we both know I wouldn't be welcome."

Harry shrugged his shoulders, "I get it. I'd love to have known my parents, my grandparents, anyone other than the Dursleys."

The two of us sat in silence for a minute or two as my mind roamed. At least Harry's family were mostly decent, he had good blood in his veins. His parents were good people, the best kind of people. His grandfather was a potioneer who made the Sleakeazy potion. My family was rich because they were and are a bunch of criminals.

"I should have killed her when I had the chance…" I spoke aloud, "I know the spell, I got her first, I – I got the upper hand. I should have -"

"You had the upper hand?"

"No need to sound so surprised." I rolled my eyes, "That was right before I was maimed by my own mother's poisonous knife." I gave him a very fake smile, "Sorry you were saying, about my potential grandfather being threatened with a detention for not handing in an essay…?"

Harry gave his head a tiny shake, as though to clear his mind of the current conversation and reverse back to Slughorn's strange memory with the fog, "Yes… Tom dawdled when leaving the room and Slughorn tried to chase him, but Tom said that he wanted to ask Slughorn a question, so naturally he allowed it. Tom asked what Slughorn knew about Horcruxes. That's when the room was filled with the fog again and you could just hear Slughorn yelling 'I don't know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn't tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don't let me catch you mentioning them again!'", Harry recounted, "And that was the end of the memory."

"Horcruxes?" I questioned, "What are they?"

"No idea…" he replied, his face searching mine, "Hermione doesn't know either and Dumbledore chased me out of his office before I could ask. It was after hours."

"Well, obviously they're significant, if Dumbledore says it the most important memory," I thought aloud, "And what about that weird fog?"

"The memory was tampered with, Dumbledore thinks Slughorn was ashamed of what he said to Tom that night," Harry scratched his head awkwardly, his hair now standing on a different end, "Dumbledore's asked me to get the real memory from Slughorn."