19th March

"Late again, Potter," Snape said coldly as Harry hurried into the DADA classroom less than a minute after everyone else, "Ten points from Gryffindor." He guldered into the candlelit classroom, as the rest of the class were still readying themselves to begin the lesson.

I rubbed my hands together, "Who's going to be Snape's target today? Harry? Me? Neville?" I whispered to Hermione, who was not impressed by me readying myself for an argument.

"Before we start, I want your Dementor essays," Snape waved his wand carelessly, so that the twenty-six scrolls of parchment soared into the air and landed in a neat pile on his desk, "And I hope for your sakes that they are better than the tripe I had to endure on resisting the Imperius Curse. Now, if you will all open your books at page – what is it, Mr Finnigan?"

"Sir," said Seamus rather bravely, "I've been wondering, how do you tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost? Because there was something in the Prophet about an Inferius -"

"No, there wasn't." Snape said in a bored voice.

"But Sir, I heard people talking -"

Snape sighed deeply, "If you had actually read the article in question, Mr Finnigan, you would have known that the so-called Inferius was nothing but a smelly sneak-thief by the name of Mundungus Fletcher."

"I thought Snape and Mundungus were on the same side?" Harry whispered to the three of us, "Shouldn't he be upset Mundungus has been arrest-?"

I watched as Snape's black eyes focused on Harry, "But Potter seems to have a lot to say on the subject. Let us ask Potter how we would tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost."

Every eye in the classroom was fixed pointedly on Harry. I tried to tell him the answer in brain waves, but there was no use. The cogs were turning rapidly in Harry's head, but the best he could come up with was, "Er – well – ghosts are transparent -" he said feebly.

"Oh very good," Snape interrupted, his lip curling, "Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent." He scoffed.

Pansy Parkinson, who was sitting beside Draco, let out a high-pitched giggle. You know, that girl always seems to be by his side. I haven't had a chance to speak to him privately and I didn't have a good enough reason to barge in to talk. I came out of my daze to see that several others were smirking. I caught eyes with Draco for a second before looking away.

"Is he staring at me?" I mumbled to Hermione, who covertly glanced in Draco's direction.

She nodded, "And Parkinson is giving you a really dirty look… Oh, ignore her."

Harry had meanwhile continued, "Yeah, ghosts are transparent, but Inferi are dead bodies, aren't they? So they'd be solid -"

"A five-year-old could have told us as much," Snape sneered once more, "The Inferius is a corpse that has been reanimated by a Dark wizard's spells. It is not alive; it is merely used like a puppet to do the wizard's bidding. A ghost, as I trust that you are aware by now, is the imprint of a departed soul left upon the earth… and of course, as Potter so wisely tells us, transparent."

"Well, what Harry said is the most useful if we're trying to tell them apart!" Ron said, his cheeks pink, "When we come face to face with one down a dark alley we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"

Oh here we go.

There was a ripple of laughter throughout the classroom. I sat perfectly still, watching Snape like a lioness watches her prey, ready to pounce in action.

"Another ten points from Gryffindor."

"Don't react." Hermione muttered, "Don't lose us more points."

"I would expect nothing more sophisticated from you, Ronald Weasley, the boy so solid he cannot Apparate half an inch across a room."

Hermione turned her focus now to Harry, grabbing onto his arm, "No!" she whispered, "There's no point, you'll just end up in detention again, leave it!"

She was right. Snape was looking for a reaction. I put up my walls again, the protective barrier I created to stop my parent's harsh words and constant goading from affecting me as Snape tried to taunt me. I opened my book to page two-hundred-and-thirteen to read about the Cruciatus Curse. I fought with my mind to take me from the room in Knockturn Alley where I was tortured for information on Harry. I sat and took notes in silence, as too, did the rest of the class.

When the bell rang, Hermione tugged my arm for us to go straight to the Hospital Wing for my medications. I soon realised why – Lavender caught up with us.

"Are you feeling alright?" Madam Pomfrey asked as I took my usual seat on the all-too-familiar bed, checking my temperature, "You look pale and clammy."

"I think it's hormonal." Hermione said from behind the curtain.

I agreed and told her, "We've so much homework, so I've had a couple of late nights, too. 'Mione and I were in bed after midnight last night finishing our Transfiguration work for this afternoon.

This seemed to satisfy the Medi-witch, "An early night tonight, alright?"

"You don't need to tell me twice."

20th March

"I meant to tell you…" Harry said as we were meant to be practicing the water making spell to fill goblets, the four of us had found our usual spot towards the back of the classroom where we had space to talk and not be overheard, "Ron and I saw Myrtle yesterday in the boys' bathroom."

"No way." I said, "I haven't seen her in ages."

Ron sidled towards me, pulling a face, "You're lucky, she told us about a boy who she'd had loads in common with."

I tried not to snigger, "You can't be serious?" I imagined a love sick Myrtle following some poor kid around the school, popping out of random drains and toilets at the most embarrassing of moments. I wasn't aware of any other ghosts her age that she could be referring to.

Harry and Ron sniggered, taking ages to regain their composure again, the scene must have been a lot funnier than the story, "Oh he's sensitive and people bully him and he feels lonely and has no one to talk to. And here's the most pathetic thing – he's not afraid to show is emotions and cry!" Harry mocked Moaning Myrtle's voice.

"It's okay for a guy to cry, you know." I said assertively, thinking back to the emotions the four of us have shared together, "Just putting that out there. I hope that this guy was just having a bad day because this castle can be an awful place for someone who feels alone."

"Was it a young boy?" Hermione questioned, having showed off her ability to control the temperature of the water spouting from the tip of her wand to Flitwick.

"She didn't say…" Ron answered her, "Said she'd take the secret to the -" he was suddenly in a wrinkle again.

Hermione and I shared a look and rolled our eyes in sync, just as we always did when the boys were being immature, "Anyone got a teabag?" I asked filling the goblet with boiling water.

"Ah Miss Pink, well done!" Flitwick appeared from viewing Neville, Seamus and Dean's less than satisfactory attempts, Flitwick's words, not mine. The boys were all given extra homework to practice as Seamus' wand momentarily turned into a power washer and left everyone and the contents of the room soaked. I had unruly curly hair for the rest of the day and Hermione's was like a bomb had gone off! Thanks bud.

1st April

K: Hey Georgie! How's my birthday boy? Are you free to chat now?
G: I'm sorry baby, I'm snowed under with work here and then we're going out for dinner and drinks, can we reschedule?
K: Of course you can, don't stay up too late. And be safe!
G: I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Thanks for the box of goodies, I must say the smell of the jumper is heavenly. I love you!
K: I love you, too.

Stupid Hogwarts. Stupid teachers not allowing me out. I can't send letters, I can't send presents unless it's through Ron, Ginny or Harry and it can't be seen to be from me, because I'm supposed to be dead. I was cunning and left a package with Maura, who was only too glad to send for me. I wanted nothing more than five minutes to hug George, to wish him a happy birthday in person, and Freddie, too, of course.

I knew I was being punished for the trip to Edinburgh last month. The whole universe seemed to be punishing me. It seemed impossible to get George's attention these last few days. I know he's extremely busy at work, trying to invest more money into the business. But I miss him and our chats. I've been bogged down with school work, submitting assignment after assignment spending more and more time in silence as we worked on our separate things. I tried not to get down about it, and tried looking forward to the weekend.

6th April

We were greeted with a fine morning; the air was crisp and the smell of freshly mown grass told us that spring was certainly making an appearance. Ron, Hermione and I queued up, waiting to be prodded by the Secrecy Sensor before leaving for Hogsmeade. It's two weeks before the Apparition test and those who were seventeen were allowed to go for an extra lesson this morning. Harry, who wouldn't be seventeen for over three months, was left behind with strict instructions from Hermione to figure out how to get the memory from Slughorn. I had a sneaking suspicion he was going to try and get into the Room of Requirement, as he and Draco were two of the few left behind…

The three of us chatted on the journey down the winding road and Ron mentioned a letter he'd received from home, "Mum was asking how everyone was, apparently Bill and Fleur are making more plans for the wedding."

Hermione groaned, "It's bad enough spending time in her presence, never mind having to be related to her."

"She's not all that bad." Ron tried to reason before being shot down by Hermione.

"She's rude, has no respect, makes no effort to fit in -"

Sensing a brewing argument, I intervened quickly, "Hey, could one of you -" I handed Hermione my diary, "I've a message." I lied, "Ron, would you mind?" I used his back to write a message to George.

K: Can you meet me in Hogsmeade at approximately 1130? It's important.

Just keeping the relationship alive.

"What'd he want?" Ron asked, "On second thought -"

"He wanted to remind me to be on alert this morning." I told him, which wasn't technically a lie, he had warned me this morning as I was getting ready, "He doesn't want me seen by the wrong people, you know?"

Ron nodded, his eyes drawn to the bandage poking out from under the sleeve of my coat's left arm, his hand clutching his own arms, still showing markings from our time in the Department of Mysteries, "I'm surprised Malfoy hasn't -"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" I told him, "Draco wouldn't. He saw what she did to me. I trust him with my life."

"But can you really be that certain?" Hermione added, a questioning-my-sanity-tone used.

I didn't hesitate before answering, "Yes."

"How -?" they both asked in unison.

I smirked, picking out a loose photograph from my diary and handed it over to Ron and Hermione's curious gazes. The photograph was the one taken on my birthday I spent the morning with Narcissa and Draco.

"What are we supposed to be seeing?"

"Family," I said, "and all the unspoken things that photograph means to me."

Hermione shook her head, "I don't think I'll ever understand you and Malfoy's 'bond', if you can even call it that." She used air quotes. You see my friends don't approve of Draco, but they approve of our 'bond' when it suits them.

"One day you'll see what I see." I told them confidently.

There was a period of silence when all the sixth years gathered in front of Zonko's empty shop – our meeting point for Twycross. A few of us yawned sleepily as minutes passed by 10am, squinting as the sun broke through the brick and mortar restrictions. We had all been worked hard this week and wished this practice session was even an hour later than scheduled. Pansy Parkinson was on form this morning though, as she started causing trouble with her posse consisting of Millicent Bullstrode and Daphne Greengrass casting nasty glares at me. I was receiving tentative glances from their nearby Morag, Mandy and Lisa hinting that she was in fact talking about me.

"Sorry are you talking to me?" I called her out. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws that stood separating the gap between us soon parted like Moses parted the sea. You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife as there was a very pregnant pause.

She was rather taken aback as Pansy replied, "I said are you scared, Pink?" I had always tried to respect Draco's choice in her as a girlfriend, but he wasn't here to stop her and I wasn't going to stand for her crap any longer. It had been going on long enough.

I snorted, "Not at all, thanks for your concern." I proceeded to turn by back on her, having given her a clear warning that I wasn't in the mood for niceties.

"Just because she thinks she's better than us," Pansy spouted maliciously, before addressing me, "doesn't change the fact that your own mother tried to kill you, and so did your adoptive parents. Have you considered that you might be better off six feet under?"

Ron and Hermione had their hands on their wands, the two of them reading themselves to defend me. But I didn't think that was a necessary action.

"Do I sense a hint of jealousy?" I challenged her, saying it to piss her off more than anything.

She scoffed, "Me? Jealous? Of you?"

"That's what I implied, or do you need me to spell that out too?" I said with a deadly sweet smile, and she just stared at me blankly, "Oh, I do." I widened my eyes in fake embarrassment for her, "Well, you see, you have an issue with me because your so-called boyfriend can't keep his eyes off me. We share something you two will never have -"

"Arghhhh!" she fumbled angrily for her wand.

**CRACK**

"There will be no need for a wand today, Miss Parkinson." Twycross said, as Ron gave me a low-five and Hermione a proud smile with the usual rollage of the eyes for my remarkable retorts, and also for the beetroot colour Pansy had now flushed, "Apologies for my lateness, now let's get started. Line up in front of the shop, yes, perfect," he made hoops appear a number of metres away, outside Madam Puddifoot's as we all spaced ourselves out, "Remember: Destination! Deliberation! Determination! Off you go!"

"At least you can make yourself invisible and run a couple of yards and say you've done it." Ron stated as though it seemed possible for me to run 100 yards in exactly no time at all. And making it look effortless, may I add.

Hermione tried her best not to roll her eyes. As we all pointedly stared at the wooden hoops in the distance.

"Or maybe I'll just put in the practice now?"

"Go on, then…" Ron urged, his expression indicative of his disbelief in my ability apparate first time.

I raised my eyebrows and paid proper attention to the hoop.

**CRACK**

I felt my insides squeeze as though trying to fit into a tight plastic tube before appearing out the other end again, back to normal again. I looked down at the ground, seeing my feet inside the hoop below me. "Holy shit!" I shouted, "I did it!" I had a mini-celebration dance party all to myself when **crack** Hermione appeared right beside me, "Girl power!" the two of us high-fived across the distance between the hoops.

"Am I all here?" she turned around in the circle for me to examine her, patting her body obsessively.

"Yep," I nodded before turning, "what about me?"

"All good!" she told me, after examining my face closely, "Shall we see who can apparate back to Ron's side again first?"

I smiled, "You're on."

Hermione and I each bought Ron a consolidatory butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks to help wipe the scowl off his face. He had not managed to apparate into the hoop, but was a mere few metres off his destination, okay, well… he ended up outside Scrivenshafts, after a full hour of attempts and coaching by the two of us.

"I'll get them." Ron said with pink cheeks, sending furtive glances towards Madam Rosmerta, who was dressed in her usual figure hugging attire and pretty heels, "Since you're buying." He cleared his throat before approaching the bar.

Hermione and I meanwhile found an empty table. Well, I found the table as she watched Ron flirt terribly.

"Aw, c'mon 'Mione, she's not unlike you, y'know… the curly hair, no nonsense approach. Could you imagine if you'd just put on a nice dress and -"

"Shut up."

I smiled as Ron approached the table with two butterbeers, a ginger ale and a glass of a non-alcoholic fruit cocktail. I felt like I needed the sugar to maintain happy bubbly Kathryn who can quickly react to Hermione and Ron's bickering with grace and dignity – who am I kidding? I needed something to distract me from their – je ne sais quoi.

Minutes later, the door swung open and George walked in, dressed in a pair of jeans and a nice shirt, whose eyes scanned the room before falling on me, "Hey, I got your message! I don't have long… Is everything okay?" he kissed me gently. Gosh that felt good.

"It will be." I told him, standing to take his hands, "Will you two stay here 'til I get back? This shouldn't take more than… twenty minutes/ half an hour? Important business to discuss," I questioned, "If I'm not back by…" I looked down at my watch, "Half twelve, send out a search party."

Hermione sighed and shook her head, "I'm drinking the rest of this." She called out as George and I were exiting the pub.

"What's going to take twenty minutes?" George whispered, "Where are we going?"

"Trust me, you'll enjoy yourself."

"Oh?" he looked me up and down, "Oh."

"Well that was a very welcome yet unexpected bonus addition to my weekend." George breathed into my ear as he finished, "We should do this more often."

I stroked his cheek before tapping his nose gently, "Soon." I untangled myself from the bedsheets, finding my underwear scattered on the bedroom floor, found as disregarded as it was in the heat of the moment.

"Where are you going?" George wrapped his arms around my middle, enticing me back into bed again with a little pout followed by a few well-placed kisses, "Come back for more…"

I felt myself drift into his arms, desperate for more, to feel him inside me once again, but the bubble had to pop, "I'm sorry…" I kissed him, "I want to, I really want to…" I kissed him again, "But I've got to get back before McGonagall threatens me with another detention for meeting up with you again without permission and -" I groaned as he gently nibbled my earlobes, "George."

"Yes?" he breathed, placing little kisses down my neck and along my collarbone, "I'm just enjoying you whilst I have you."

"Ooooh I love you, but I have to go -"

George's eyes met mine, our concentration fully given to each other and I saw that speck of green again. I rubbed my nose against his in an eskimo kiss, before standing to leave the bedroom to find the rest of my clothes scattered at the front door, on the sofa, under the table and my jumper on the bedroom door handle.

"Let's get you back," he said, holding out his hand for me to make us invisible to walk through the shop undiscovered and we apparated to Hogsmeade together, "If I go into the pub with you I'll not want to leave you, so…" he planted his feet on the spot, placing his fingers through my hair, pulling me in close for one more heated moment, "See you soon."

When I arrived back at the Three Broomsticks, Seamus and Dean had joined them at the table and were talking of no other topic than Quidditch. Hermione had once again found herself losing the battle. Her cheeks were pink and her demeanour that that of exasperation as I sat down beside her.

"Hey Kathryn," Seamus enquired, "help us settle the debate."

I raised my eyebrows, not saying a word.

"If someone was to die in school, would Quidditch be cancelled?"

My eyebrows raised a little further, "What exactly have I walked into?"

"Boys and Quidditch!" Hermione groaned, "Let's go up to the castle for lunch."

"I could eat!" I smiled.

So Hermione and I lead the trek back up to the castle, talking light-heartedly about her time alone with Ron, which was unfortunately rather uneventful. I fed her some nonsense about me having to sign off on business proposals for the twins, which she didn't buy, by the way, but knew better than to ask. We were followed at a distance by the guys who were ambling along at their leisure, interrupting our conversation with their booming laughter and camaraderie. This continued on, all the way into the Great Hall where we sat down to an early lunch of sausage casserole and mashed potatoes.

"Hey," Harry said, taking the empty seat opposite me, as we were half way through eating, "I didn't know you were back, I've just seen Tonks, she was looking for you!"

"Where?" I dropped my cutlery, quickly swallowing what I'd just eaten as he mumbled something about the seventh floor, "I'll be back." I stood, abandoning my belongings under the table as I hopped to release by bag straps from around my ankle and ran out of the Great Hall. I pounded as fast as I could up the many flights of stairs up to Gryffindor Common, excitement radiating through me.

Then I saw her towards the entrance to the Room of Requirement, "Hey girl!" I let out a high pitched squeal as I ran to pull her into a tight hug, "You have no idea how good it is to see you!" as I gave Tonks back her personal space back again, I asked, "How are you?"

Wow. She looked dreadful.

"Er -" her chin wobbled a little.

I held my arms open and she gripped onto me, tight. Her body shuddered and the next thing, she was in floods of tears, "Oh my poor baby." I stroked her dull greyish-brown hair soothingly as she just let it all out.

"I can't talk to anyone… about him, except you… and Molly…" she said between hyperventilated breaths in her attempt to calm down, "I'm so worried…" tears still streamed from her eyes, "Have you heard from him?"

I shook my head, "I'm supposed to be dead, remember? It's too much of a risk -"

I thought back to Pansy's remarks earlier on. She wouldn't expose me, would she? Could she be that jealous of whatever she thinks is going on with Draco and me?

"Harry hasn't heard from him… neither has Molly… Kathryn, I can't do this anymore…"

I kissed her forehead, "You can and you will." I gave her the tissue from my pocket, "Now you're to sit yourself down beside me and tell me everything that's on your mind. And you're not going to leave anything out."

I don't know how much time passed, but my bum had gone numb and the three tissues I had given Tonks were all soaking wet. I gave her the opportunity to talk about Remus, to pine over him, to let out all her worries and fears. She told me how abandoned she felt, how worthless, unwanted and rejected she was. No matter how hard the conversation hit me in a very personal way, in return, I reassured her that everything would be alright, that she's just got to wait for the right moment when everything falls into place. I prayed for a miracle as I spoke, promising things I knew I shouldn't.

I pulled her up onto her feet, "Love is not perfect, you know. Far from it, in fact." I told her, pulling her into hold, I swayed from side to side, twisting and twirling, "But sometimes you just have to live your life despite everyone else. You've got to dance, even though no one else can hear the music."

I managed to get a smile out of her. I was now able to see her true beauty again, a lifted version of the Tonks that most were seeing.

"Kathryn? What're you doing up here?" Draco appeared from around the corner, shock written over his face, "Who're you with?"

I couldn't help but smile at the opportunity that had just risen, "Draco this is Tonks, Tonks this is Draco." I introduced them.

"Kat, I shouldn't." she took a step back, cautiously. Draco did the same thing, wordlessly, retreating away, leaving me in the middle.

"Aw come on you two." I sighed, "We're all cousins, you both mean the world to me." I told them. Turning to Tonks I said, "You have to remember that it was Draco who saved my life." I then turned to Draco and said, "Tonks is my coffee and cake girl."

"Is that all I am to you?" Tonks' eyes were wide although there was still a small smile presenting at my words.

Draco gave the teensiest of smiles, "I know how important coffee and cake is. Kathryn bakes, we eat."

Tonks gave a watery smile, "We do." she stepped up beside me again, "thanks for all you did, she doesn't stop singing your praises."

"Shush," I joked, "I don't want him getting big headed."

"Well, I'm glad you're a more stable family member."

Tonks and I laughed. The prior conversation coming to mind about how unstable our lives were, "Stable? Our family?" she joked.

Draco smirked, "Well, I have to -" he carefully made his way toward the staircase, "See you."

"Draco?" I called after him, and he cocked his head to the side, listening, "Can you have a word with your so-called girlfriend? Tell her that calling me out in public isn't cool. Especially about mum."

"I hope you gave her hell for it."

I smirked, "You know I did."

"I'll talk to her." He said, before descending the staircase.

"He loves you." Tonks said when he was out of sight.

"I know." I told her.

She shook her head, "I don't think you do…"

It was a few hours later. Many more tears had been shed by Tonks, who couldn't seem to hold it in any longer. I helped her back home, illegally leaving school, because I was genuinely worried about her. She was too exhausted to deal with it any longer, I thought that she might do something stupid if left alone too long. Yes, I was that concerned. She told me she wants to die. She told me how she'd do it, too.

I had a slight understanding of what she was going through. The pain that comes with loving someone who doesn't reciprocate is the worst of all. The fact that no one, not even George has heard from or of Remus since Christmas, didn't help matters either. That, coupled with the crippling feeling of worthlessness and abandonment is enough to make anyone's mental health struggle. I spoke frankly with Ted and Andromeda, explaining the situation to them after putting Tonks to bed. She needed to rest and she needed all the love she could get.

I finally returned to school, with the help of Andromeda, who undid all the protective enchantments long enough for me to enter the grounds again. When I entered the Gryffindor Common Room, I felt broken. I had been carrying Tonks' burden as my own for so long and I felt all of the life had now been drained out of me.

"Where have you been?" Harry asked whenever I approached my group of friends. His expression quickly changed, watching as I released all I was bottling up, "Are you alright?"

"You look dreadful, Kathryn…" Hermione commented, "Are you in pain? Do you want me to come to come down to Madam Pomfrey with you?"

I shook my head, "It's been a crappy afternoon… I think I'm just going to go up to bed," I rubbed my eyes before massaging my temples, "Can you ask Madam P for my evening medications and bring them up? Tell her it's a dreamless sleep potion sort of night, too. I can't really deal with any more people today…"

"Before you go…" Hermione placed a hand on my arm, taking me off to the side to speak privately, "has something happened?"

I shook my head, "It's just Tonks." I said, feeling the weight of that statement, that burden, on my shoulders, like a Dementor pursuing me, "I'll see you."

7th April

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked me as I crawled out from behind the safety of the curtains around my bed. She was already dressed and was holding a stack of toast and a glass of juice for me. I was in such a deep sleep and had woke, not to a feeling of renewed spirit, but of crushing defeat.

I didn't feel much like smiling, "I'm fine." I felt low, my head was thumping, my eyes were sore and heavy, my body ached. But I had classes to attend. I had already missed enough this term, "Thanks for the toast."

"You'd better get dressed, classes start in 10 minutes." She prompted with a sense of urgency.

I sat on the edge of the bed, "I'm going to skip Muggle Studies, it's just a drop-in lesson, so I'll –" there was a knock at the dorm door and it slowly opened, "Madam Pomfrey, what are you doing here?"

"If you're not going to come to the hospital wing, then the hospital wing has got to come to you," she set down her medical bag and summoned a chair and sat in front of me.

"You can go, 'Mione, it's alright, I'm fine."

"I'm staying right here," she said stubbornly, "I want to hear it with my own ears." She sat on the other side of her bed with her back to me, in respect for my privacy.

Madam Pomfrey then conducted her usual morning examinations, watching as I swallowed my medications before unwrapping my bandage, "Are you under a lot stress at the minute, Kathryn?" she enquired whilst examining my arm, "your scar is a lot redder than it was the last time I saw it, perhaps you should let Miss Granger see, so that she can determine -"

"No." I said in a definite tone.

Madam Pomfrey let out a sigh, "Have you any appointments with Maura soon? I wouldn't want whatever is bothering you to start causing your treatments to reverse in their effectiveness. Remember, happy mind, happy body."

I shook my head, "Not for a few days." I answered, carefully wrapping up my arm in the bandage I no longer medically required to hide the scar that made me feel the shame of having received a Dark Mark. It was at the negativity centre of the way I was feeling.

"Miss Granger, would you mind leaving us? I know you wouldn't want to be late for your class."

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows and nodded, leaving me alone with Madam Pomfrey.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "Is everything alright with you and George?"

I nodded, "Yes, I saw him yesterday – he's doing well." I added with a small smile and a tap of the nose in the hope that this statement would appease the woman.

But it didn't, "Are you struggling in any of your classes?"

"No. I'm up to date with all my work, I've caught up on everything I've missed, all my Professors are happy with my progress."

"Your friends, everything alright there?"

I nodded, "We're all good."

"I'm worried about you," she said, sitting down on the bed beside me, something Madam Pomfrey didn't do often, "you know you can talk to me, about anything that's on your mind, right?"

"I know." I told her, "Everyone has bad days."

"Nobody goes from the soaring heights, looking forward to a trip to Hogsmeade and within a matter of hours hits a crashing low, locking herself away in her room without something significant happening."

I let out a slow, measured breath, "It will pass."

I tried to get to class this morning.

I tried, I really did.

As I got out of the shower, the bathroom felt increasingly enclosed, as though someone was sucking the air out of the room, it was like trying to catch the water draining down the sink as I tried to brush my teeth, without a plug. My heart started racing, as though trying to escape from my chest and my skin felt clammy. I couldn't move. The world around me span out of control, forcing me to hold onto the sink for balance, until everything turned black.

It was all because Tonks said that she didn't think either of us would make it out alive at the end of the war. She has given up fighting the inevitable. Bellatrix was out for blood. The worst of it was, I believed her. So what is the point in trying anymore?