A/N: As always, thank you to all who are here again, re-reading this story that has come to mean the world to me along the SQ fandom. I hope you enjoy these two updates I was able to write out (both in Emma's POV.) Don't worry, Regina's POV is next in chapter 38. Happy reading! :)

I'll say this again, please don't ask to translate this story or use it in another fandom. Thank you.

Chapter 36: Emma

Everything had changed the next morning. Well, almost everything. But between Regina and I, something had balanced out. It was as if the Earth- our Earth- had tilted and was now centered. I knew it needed to balance out more, but it would get there. Regina and I would make this work.

Did I feel like an asshole for turning down Audrey's proposal and hurting her the way I did? Absolutely. I would forever apologize for that. But, was I sorry that the reason behind that was because of Regina? Well, a little, but it's like I told Regina. Our feelings for one another were beyond our control. They happened and there was nothing we could do to change it.

I wouldn't even want to change it, would I be given the chance.

Audrey and I, we had our fun, and what fun it was. But that was over for me. I wasn't going to be with someone I no longer wanted to be with. I promised Regina I would wait to break things off with her, so with that I knew I needed to sugar coat things around Audrey. And there was nothing I wouldn't do to ease Regina's mind. Besides, she was right. Would I break up with Audrey now and tell her the truth as to why I wanted to end things, that would only mean trouble for Regina.

It would still happen, I know. Once everything was uncovered. Because I wasn't naive about it all, and believed that Audrey would never find out about us. I plan to tell her the truth. Just not yet. Not without giving Regina and I a chance at a real relationship. And it would give Audrey plenty of time to get over our break-up, once it happened.

In Audrey's own words: 'People change.' And so have I.

And I'm certain that had Audrey's mom not been Regina, and she didn't steal a piece of my heart every single time we stole a glance from each other, the circumstances would have been different. But would I want it any other way? No way. Especially when any chance Regina and I got we would take advantage of to share a kiss or two behind a closed door, in the midst of our own privacy. I know there was a special spot in hell for me after this. I know it was wrong. And when the time came, I would happily cross that blazing bridge that awaited me- bare feet and all.

That's how much Regina came to mean to me during the span of the summer.

That's what you do for people you deeply cared for, wasn't it? You gave your all. Every last breath of oxygen until your lungs ached from being sucked dry.

That's what happened every single time Regina walked into a room. My breath would be sucked out of my lungs. My heart would dissolve inside of my chest. My body would forget how to function. Kind of like now.

Regina wore a pair of jeans this morning, along with the same purple flannel shirt that she allowed me to wear the day Daisy had her baby. The shirt definitely looked better on her. I would never forget that day, not only because of the unexpected experience of helping deliver that baby foal, but because it had also been the birth of Regina's and my feelings for one another, only growing stronger.

And with how beautiful Regina looked, my feelings would turmoil inside of me every single time she was near. If David knew this, my best bet would be he would call it love. Was that what this was? Was I in love with Regina?

"Morning." I greeted Regina, feeling the Earth balance underneath my feet, right where I stood.

"Good morning, Emma." Said Regina, her voice rough but delicate at the same time. Despite last night's emotional events for all of us, Regina looked somewhat content this morning. Different, even. But a good different. And the way the sunlight struck her profile, giving her iris a honey colored type of brown made her look even more radiant.

I'd like to believe that our talks were always good for Regina, just like they were good for me.

"You look really nice today." Regina being the first to compliment me was far more surprising than I expected to be. It made me smile a little as I could feel the weight on my shoulders lessen.

I looked down at my clothes, a pair of black washout old, tight jeans, one of my black t-shirts, my red leather jacket- because I had missed it- and a pair of old converse that I needed to remember to throw out once I got home. I was nothing special. Not like Regina. As far as I was concerned, when it came to looks, Regina would always have me beat. And I was fine with that.

Something about the way I looked must have been true, though, judging from that sparkle in Regina's eye.

"Thank you." The corner of my lip tilts a little upward. "You look even more beautiful than the day before." I said, seeing that light coating of pink take over Regina's cheeks. A color that had quickly become my favorite in Regina. Every time I saw it, it made me want to reach out and touch it. Or kiss it away.

Somehow, complimenting one another, while our eyes never left each other, it made us feel more at ease. Now that it was all out in the open. At least for Regina and I. Everyone else would come to know about it later. Right now all that mattered to me, as I suspected it mattered to Regina; was that we knew and felt the same way.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Ms. Swan." A small smirk played on Regina's lips and my brow wasn't shy to lift up.

I smirk a little as I dare to step forward, feeling brazen by Regina's invitation. I take one last step until I am close enough to reach for her hand. And as I do, I am surprised Regina doesn't pull away. We both look at our joined hands as my fingers are quick to intertwine with Regina's before we lock eyes with one another again.

I bring Regina's hand up to my lips and press down along the back of her knuckles, kissing a certain spot along her hand. I was nothing if not chivalrous- with Regina, that is. David always says that when the right woman comes along, she changes you for the better. Well, that must be true if I had changed my ways this much for Regina.

"Is it wrong that I want to kiss you right now?" I ask, feeling a blush of my own wanting to settle.

Regina smiles for a split second, and I love that second. I love every second I could be with Regina. "Not as wrong as me wanting to kiss you back." She said, loving the sound of that revelation even more. Especially the way Regina wet her lips a little. "But we can't." She whispers, and I can see the disappointment in her eyes.

I nod, understanding perfectly well as to why we couldn't kiss. Not right now. I knew eventually we would share another kiss. Because something I've come to learn from Regina and I, is that we couldn't go long without feeling our lips mold together in a passionate kiss. It scared me a little, and excited me just how easy and thrilling it was to kiss Regina. A feeling so out of this world, I couldn't even begin to explain it.

Honestly, if Regina would have been any other girl, I probably would have worked my way into stealing a kiss from her. Never forcing her, no, but with Regina, I didn't want to come off as that 'brute.' Above all, I didn't want to rush things with us, because if what was happening between us could ever turn into something far more than magical, I wanted it to work for an eternity.

"It's not that I don't-" Regina is about to explain her reason, something she never had to do with me.

I wasn't asking for an explanation. Regina could say nothing at all and I would know what she meant with her silence. "I know," I say quickly, jumping ahead. I could see the relief in Regina's eyes as well as her bundle of nerves, settling. "It's okay. There's plenty of time." I said.

The smile Regina flashes before me, brighter than the flash that comes from my camera, blinds me. That was enough to stop my heart and start it back up again, just like the way our hands remained joined, fitting perfectly together.

It was Sidney clearing his throat that caused Regina and I to part. My eyes went a bit wide as I hadn't noticed him standing there. Especially looking so calm as if he didn't just witness us holding hands and sharing a moment. Did he know? I turn to Regina and am even more surprised at how calm she looks with Sidney in the same room as us. Why wasn't Regina freaking out right now? Why wasn't Sidney?

Then again, Sidney and Regina were talking in the kitchen last night before I walked in. Maybe Regina confined in him about what was going on. Or Sidney was just as observant as I was. And I do recall Regina asking him that he wouldn't say anything, as if she was double checking that he would stay quiet.

"Sorry to disturb, but Ms. Audrey just arrived." Said Sidney, his posture straightening.

"Thank you, Sidney." Regina smiled, and Sidney smiled back, nodding before leaving the room.

My eyes lock onto Regina's as we exchange another knowing look. My nerves were back, knotting tightly along my stomach that it hurt. Now, I had to worry about what I was going to say to Audrey without giving anything up just yet.

"I'll go downstairs first, and then you can come down." Regina offers, once again taking me by surprise with her wave of bravery.

"Okay." I nod. My thoughts scattered into a million pieces.

And if that wasn't surprising enough. Regina coming right back up the steps she had already taken down was. She walked back up to me, closing the distance between us, and placed a kiss along my cheek. It was a sweet, innocent kiss, but that was also filled with so much promise and signs for me to understand. And I understood. A smile grew, splitting my lips and it gave me the courage enough to begin collecting my thoughts and face what needed to be faced.

It also made me realize that even without that kiss on my cheek, I would do what needed to be done, anyway. For Regina, I would do that and more, because I wasn't simply smitten with Regina.

I was madly, truly, and deeply in love.

"Holy shit." I breathed, smiling from ear to ear. I was in love.

"Hi, sweetheart." I hear Regina greet Audrey at the door.

"Hi." I take a peak, and see Audrey quickly hug Regina, and a wave of guilt washes over my realization of being in love for the very first time in my existence. Poor Audrey looks like she's had the longest night of her life. But so have Regina and I. "I'm sorry I had to leave last night, I just-" She sighs.

"Don't even worry about it. You needed your space, that's more than understandable." Said Regina. She looked calm and collected, ever so understanding toward her daughter, but I knew she was dying inside at the sight of Audrey.

It was now or never, and it had to be now. I began making my way down the stairs, trying to calm my nerves before I reached to where Audrey and Regina stood.

"I just, I still don't understand what made-" Audrey looks up at me and her eyes light up. "Emma." She breathes, making Regina turn in my direction.

Audrey's eyes glossed over, on the verge of tears again. It ached my heart, just as much as it ached Regina's. The pain in Regina's eyes grew as Audrey rushed over to me once I reached the bottom of the stairs, clinging to me in the tightest hug imaginable. She sobbed, hiding her face along my shoulder. My eyes looked over to Regina, and that pained me more.

My eyes didn't look away from Regina's as my arms hovered over Audrey's back until they slowly closed around her form in a hug. The least I could do was comfort her. I owed her that. "It's okay." I whisper.

Honestly, if Audrey were to slap me, I would have expected that. But I wasn't prepared for her to cling to me and sob to no end. Much less for her to say what she said next.

"I'm sorry," Audrey cried straight through her apology, her voice trembling.

"Hey, it's okay." My brow furrows. Audrey was in bad shape. Far worse than I thought. My eyes dart to Regina and I could see her own eyes tearing up. "Audrey-" I tried my best to break apart from our hug so we could finally talk, but that only made Audrey cling more to my body.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Emma. Please, forgive me." Audrey cried.

My eyes and Regina's lock in place again, looking at one another while Audrey's body shook in my arms with every sob she let free. Regina removed herself from the room, giving Audrey and me the privacy we needed to finally talk. But I knew she also chose to remove herself because she couldn't handle seeing her daughter hurt like this.

"Audrey," My eyes follow Regina until she disappears into the living room. Once Regina is out of sight, I break free from Audrey's hold. "Audrey, stop. You have nothing to apologize for. You get that? Nothing." I said, trying my best to calm her down.

Audrey didn't need to apologize. If anything I was sorry. And by Audrey apologizing, that only made things a little harder to do what I needed to do.

"Well-" Audrey scoffed out a sob, her voice caught. I used that moment to wipe away a fallen tear from the corner of Audrey's eye. "I don't understand, Emma. I mean, I thought everything was fine." She said.

"It is." Is all I can say, even though not everything was fine.

"Then, I don't understand. Will you fill in the blanks for me? Because I really need to understand why you turned me down when all I was asking was to spend our lives together forever?"

Forever was a big word. Mainly because I wasn't Audrey's forever.

"Audrey," I sigh and run my hand through my fallen strands of hair that touch my face. I had my hair up in a ponytail today. "Look… We need to talk. Okay? C- can we just talk? In private, without an inch of earshot from anyone." I motion toward the front double doors of the house.

As Audrey nods, I hold open the door and follow her outside, onto the gravel floor. The rocks crunching underneath our feet. I don't think I need to say how fast my heart was beating right now.

"So?" Audrey stops walking beside me, and I turn to face her. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" She asks, looking at me expectedly. Her complexion was pale from lack of sleep, and irritated by so much crying.

Where to start? How could I begin to explain things to Audrey to make her see that it wasn't because of anything she did, but rather it was all matters of the heart?

"What changed your mind about marrying me, Emma?" Audrey asks, breaking the silence and my thoughts.

"Audrey," My eyes locked onto Audrey's. "I never said I would marry you." I realized how harsh my words sounded, given the horrific look on Audrey's face. Although, I didn't mean it to sound as harsh as it did. "I mean… Audrey, we just started talking about moving in together. Honestly, I don't think it's the right time to talk about marriage, when we haven't even bought a place to live yet."

"Well, it sounds to me like you don't want to get married, Emma." Said Audrey, her eyes glossing over.

"This has nothing to do with me not wanting to get married, Audrey." I sigh and rub away at my temple, feeling a slight headache. It was a headache and my frustration built up that for a minute, I contemplated telling Audrey the truth about everything.

That would make everything much easier, wouldn't it? But, I had made a promise to Regina, and there was no way I wanted to leave, not yet. And Regina was right. If I were to come clean now, I know for certain that Audrey was not in the state to understand it nor process it. And, it would stir up more unnecessary drama that it needed to.

This wasn't the time and place to tell Audrey the real reason.

"Then, what is it?" Audrey asks, still waiting on an explanation that would make sense to her.

I drew in a breath, took a moment to collect my thoughts, and the first face that comes to my mind is Regina's, bright like this sunny morning, smiling at me. It gave me the courage, once again, to do what I needed to do.

"I just think…" Calmly, I continue, keeping my eyes on Audrey's at all times. "I just think we shouldn't move too fast."

"Shouldn't move too fast?" Audrey echoes my words and scoffs. Her lip trembles as she's on the verge of tears again.

"Audrey-"

"Do you remember when we first met?" Audrey asks, interjecting.

"Of course I remember." I remembered it well. I remembered what Audrey wore on the night of August's party. I cared for Audrey, and I always would. I knew she knew that, she just couldn't see it right now.

"We saw each other at August's party, afterwards- two days later- you asked me out, do you remember that?" I nod, remembering everything very well. "We slept together on our first date. How long did it take us to start dating after that, Emma?" She asks.

Right away. We dated right away.

Ever since it was just my mom and myself at home, that had been my entire life. It sped through, year after year. That's how it's always been since I was old enough to start taking care of myself. Things moved fast with my first girlfriend, with Lily, and Audrey. Until Regina came along. Regina made me want to slow things down. Was it because of her situation, and I knew that Regina needed things to slow down? Was it because of the love I felt for Regina, that I didn't want to fuck anything up with her if we somehow had a chance to have a relationship? I believe it was all of the above.

Whatever it was, however, I didn't mind it. I wanted things to go slow. I wanted to be different for Regina. I wanted to be better than I was. Someone she could someday fall in love with.

I had dreams of seeing the world. Hopefully with Regina by my side.

"I know how long, Audrey." I say to Audrey. "I know because that's been my life from the very start. I've had to move so fast ever since I was old enough to know right from wrong- it's amazing it hasn't made my fucking head spin by now."

Whether Audrey saw my point or not, I knew that my words didn't make it hurt any less for her.

"So, what's wrong with taking things slow for once?" I ask Audrey, hoping to get a reply from her.

"Be honest with me, Emma," Said Audrey. "Do you still want to move in together once we go back to school?"

I took a moment, figuring out the best way I could answer her question without giving anything away just yet. I finally came up with- "Not… Right away."

Audrey scoffs and shakes her head. "Wow." She walks past me.

"Audrey-" I hurry behind her.

"Leave me alone!" Audrey hurries her footing, and I am quick to stand in front of her, reaching for her arm, which she yanks away.

"Audrey- stop!" I attempt to reach for her arm again but that only angers Audrey more as she yanks it away again. "You agreed to talk!" I raised my voice a little.

"Just like you agreed to move in with me when we got back to school! Now, everything's changed!" Audrey shouts back, scoffing once more. "You know something, you are unbelievable, Emma!" She takes a moment to breathe. "So, what changed? Hm? What changed from wanting to spend the rest of your life with me? Why don't you want to live together now?"

"Audrey!" This time I shouted. I couldn't help myself. Audrey's aggravation aggravated me. "I never said I wanted to get married yet! You are rushing too into our lives here-"

"What's wrong with that, Emma?!" Audrey shouted back. The vein along her temple was throbbing. "You never cared to rush before-"

"People change!" The atmosphere around us goes silent, giving me a moment to breathe. If Audrey couldn't even understand something so simple, it made me think that Regina was right. It wasn't the time to be completely honest with her. "You said so yourself, right? Well, that's what's happened here, Audrey. I've changed. It took me to turn twenty-five years old, but I finally want control over my life. My decisions. Is that so wrong? Wanting to go through life without racing to the fucking finish line just to race through the next thing that comes along?"

Audrey is silent. She's crying and wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Audrey," I breathe in, trying to remain as calm and as civil as possible. I walk forward, to where the only space between Audrey and me is an inch apart. "Listen to me," I speak softly. My eyes locked on Audrey's. "I'm very sorry for hurting you the way I did. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about this before, but… Please, just try to understand me for a second. Just… Just a second." I run my hand along my face in frustration.

"So…" Audrey sighs, fighting back more tears that threaten to spring free. "You'd rather not live together yet? Is that what you're saying?"

More or less. I tuck my hands inside my pockets and nod. "Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying."

I felt selfish. I was sugar coating things so that we wouldn't leave, so that I could spend more time with Regina. But isn't that what you were supposed to want? To spend as much time as possible with the person you cared for? No. Not just cared for… Loved.

I did think that I didn't deserve someone as good and as pure as Regina to develop feelings for me. Yet, she does. And she would become jealous every single time Audrey became affectionate toward me. I was no one to judge. Regina was a great mother as far as I was concerned. She had lived all her life stuck in a living nightmare, she deserved some good anyone had to offer- or in this case- me. Regina deserved it all. And if I was the one who could deliver to her the calm before the storm, so fucking be it. I would gladly be what gave her peace.

I wanted to be the one Regina always could confine in and trust with every fiber of her being.

Did that make me happy to have to lie to Audrey a little? No.

But that was life. It came with its difficulties and its challenges. Regina and I knew this would be difficult as it would be challenging. But if she was willing to face it, so was I. And hopefully… Someday… I could be someone Regina could grow to love as much as I loved her.