I really appreciate all of you that have reviewed, favorited, and followed. I have three kids so it's a bit hectic trying to write while they're all screaming. I'm glad to know that some of you like it enough to stick with me thus far. I won't keep you waiting. Enjoy!
I make it as far as the state line before I pull into a rest area. Putting the truck in park, I peak into the back to find Anna still deep in sleep. The lot is empty except for two trucks on the other side. Rolling down the window, I step outside and softly close the door. Looking around I finally let the last couple of hours flood me. Tears rush forth and down my cheeks and my chest aches, not with pain, but with the force of my sobbing. Squatting down, I slap my hand over my mouth as I cry. I fight to stay quiet enough that I won't alert anyone that could possibly hear me. My breathing comes in sharp gasps as I scream into my hand. I want to scream out loud, unhindered by my hands. I want to throw something and kick things. Rage mixes with the fear I've been holding, along with grief for the mother I left dying in a hospital. The mother I'd never see again. I can't though. I have to scream and cry in an empty parking lot while my 2 year old sister sleeps in the truck. I let myself do what I can. I scream, cry, and moan into my hand for what feels like years. Snot is squeezing through my fingers and I'm rocking on my heels with the force of it all. I let the hot tears practically freeze on my face as the air around me prickles at my body.
Slowly...so so slowly, I start to pull myself together. I need to keep moving, I tell myself. I need to make sure he can't find us. I wipe my hands on my pants and my nose with my sleeve. Mama would be disgusted at the trails it leaves behind, but she isn't here to witness it. The thought almost undoes me. Shoving it away I push my hair back and stand up.
"Keep moving Charlie. For Anna. This is for Anna." I murmur the sentences to myself and get back into the truck.
Rolling up my window I make sure the doors are locked before I start inventory. Reaching into my pocket I pull out the once hidden envelope. Opening it I find a stack of cash. The sight sends wonder through me. Michael had always made sure to take any income from us. Not a penny was spared for us as he pocketed it away. I, myself, barely managed to hide anything. How could mama manage to squirrel away this much? I finger through the cash twice to make sure I've counted it right. $5000. My mother had managed to hide away 5k. She must've been stashing since the day she found out she was pregnant with Anna. Closing my eyes I let myself lean back against the headrest.
Opening my eyes again. I reach over to the backpack John had given me. Opening it I take stock of its contents. A burner phone, most likely to contact them, sits on top. Grabbing it I send a quick text to Katie that I'd made it to the border. Underneath sits a bottle of painkillers. Grabbing them up I quickly swallow two. Thank god for Kathy. The rest of the bag is filled with snacks and a couple of sandwiches and a couple of hundred dollars in cash. My eyes water at the kindness. Closing it back up I toss it into the next seat and pull out.
The next couple of hours are more and more distance between us and Pittsburg I expected the feeling of freedom to replace the fear of needing to watch my back, but instead it stayed steady. Every Dodge Charger brought a moment of breathlessness. Every time Anna shifted made me dread the moment she woke. The questions she would ask me swished around my head and paired with the lack of sleep like flies on shit. More than once, I was tempted to pull over and sleep. Ignoring my body's desperate pleas, I kept driving. It's not until just outside of Elkhart, Indiana before Anna finally wakes up.
"Charlie…" Her whimper has me turning down the music and adjusting my rear view mirror to see her. Her eyes are wide as she looks around confused.
"Good morning Anna bug." I say cheerfully. "Did you sleep good?"
She nods her head quietly, but the frown gives her thoughts away. Seeing an exit coming up with a Walmart I pull off. Parking quickly, I turn in my seat to look at her.
"Do you like our new car? Isn't it nice?" I ask, smiling. She looks around and smiles.
"Yes!" She giggles.
"You were asleep so hard! You slept through the first part of our trip. You looked like this." I fake a big yawn before closing my eyes and fake snore loudly. Her giggles get louder. Opening my eyes I laugh at her.
"We going?" Her question is light and I breathe a low sigh of relief.
"We are going to go on a long vacation." I explain throwing my arms out widely. "We're going to explore like adventurers."
Another round of soft giggles meets my ears and I reach back to pull the duffle out. Pulling out a set of clothes for her and unbuckle her and I. It doesn't take me long to check her pullup and dress her into a worn pair of overalls and a long sleeve knit sweater with a pumpkin on the front. Brushing her hair I let myself fall into a small moment of peace as I french braid her pretty chocolate curls. She doesn't say anything, but it doesn't take her long before pulling out her old stuffed bunny. The thing was my old rabbit, the fur worn, but soft. It was no bigger than a small baby doll. Anna hugs the small animal to her chest and starts a soft humming. Moving her into the passenger seat, I dig out a small notebook I packed away into a pocket of the backpack and start on my list of things I wasn't able to bring without causing suspicion.
Soap, razor, children's medicine, toothbrushes/toothpaste, hair accessories, deodorant, pads/tampons, etc. Grabbing the back pack I also make a mental note to grab a cooler for the food I dump onto the seat. Picking up Anna I slide us from the truck and head into the store. I thought the list was enough, but from the moment I stepped through the doors, I realized it wasn't going to be as small a list as I expected. I ended up grabbing a pack n' play, diaper bag, pullups, wipes, lotion (for Anna's eczema), a decent sippy cup, and a host of snacks and fresh fruits in an attempt to keep her eating healthy. By the time we had gotten back to the truck The cart was full and an hour had passed. Loading her into her carseat I quickly put the food in the cooler, shoved the toiletries into the duffle, and filled up the diaper bag. Handing her a cup of fruit, some dry cereal, and a sippy cup of milk, I jump into the front and take a swig of my energy drink.
The rest of the day passes by in slow drag. Exhaustion hounds me with every mile and it seems like every other hour I have to stop to allow Anna a bathroom break and for me to stretch in an attempt to stay awake. By the time the sun drops behind the horizon I finally allow myself to pull into a hotel in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I half stumble into the lobby with Anna in one arm and our duffle in the other. Her small fists rubbing at her eyes letting me know she is ready for bed.
"Hello, is there anything I can help you with?" The woman behind the desk smiles happily, but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"I need a room for the night. A queen should work." I let her know as I set down my bag.
"Of course, can I see some ID? I'll also need a card to put down for the room." She says already typing away on her computer. I quickly hand her my ID.
"I don't have a card, but I do have cash." I let her know. I immediately tense at her frown.
"I'm sorry, but we don't accept cash." She says looking over my ID. "Unfortunately, even if you did have a card, we also have a policy that doesn't allow us to book a room for anyone under the age of 20."
"Is there anywhere around here that will accept cash?" I ask tiredly.
"Not that I know of." She slides my ID back over to me.
Nodding I grab my ID and bags. It takes another hour before I manage to find a motel that accepts cash. The girl behind the counter looks bored and doesn't even care to check my age on the ID. I manage to book a room floor next to the office and hurriedly rush us into the room. Setting Anna in a chair next to the window, I check over the room. Definitely outdated and smelled stale, but the bed sheets are clean and the mattress has no traces of bed bugs. I make quick work stripping Anna and putting her in the old tub for her bath. Her splashing lets me know she's okay and happy as I get the bed ready for her. I ignore the loud music sounding through the walls. Pulling out clothes for the next day and put them on the table, before laying out pajamas for the both of us. Checking the burner phone I note that Katie hasn't messaged back. I briefly wonder if John had stopped by to interrogate them about my whereabouts. Pushing the thought back, I finish bathing Anna. It seems like forever before I have her lying in bed and fast asleep. Making sure all the locks are bolted I move the chair and jam it under the door knob and leave the bathroom door half open as I finally slide into the shower.
Hot water pours over my sore body and I let out a sigh as I submerge my head under the weak spray. My bruised skin throbs and the water chokes me a little, but I don't move from under the water. My head throbs and I push back my hair.
"I just need you to understand that this isn't a small thing." The lawyer Katie's mother brought in drones. "You're barely an adult. No college experience. No financial stability to use to support a child."
"We already understand the complications she'll face." Mom wheezes. "We're ready to sign."
"Do you understand that if the father wanted any rights to Anna, Charlie would face a high chance of losing custody?" His pinched face leaves no question to his disapproval of our current actions.
"Anna's father was a one night stand passing through town. I don't even know his name." My mother struggles to get out this explanation before her cough overtakes her.
"Can we just sign the paperwork?" My irritation shines brightly through my words.
Without another word, custody papers are dropped on the tray in front of me. The weight of the pen could have been the weight of the world as I picked it up and dragged it across the papers. The bright blue ink left my signature and I felt the world crash down onto me as another man steps forward and begins stamping and signing the papers behind me. I was no longer Charlotte, an 18 year old girl with just herself to worry about. No, I was Charlotte, 18 year old guardian to her two year old sister. The girl now responsible for someone else's life
I jerk from my memory and yank at my hair. My breathing comes in harsh gasps. Damn her. Damn her! Painful anger surges through me and I struggle not to scream. How could she do this? How could she?! For 15 years of my life my mother had chosen to abstain from men. We were a team. Just the two of us against the world. Then along came John and with John came the end of the road for any hopes of a family that could be happy. The sound of Anna shifting in bed drags me from my pity party and I rush through the rest of my shower.
Sleep does not drag me down like I thought it would. I spend hours curled around Anna in the center of the bed. Inhaling the honey scented strands of her hair I focus on her gentle breathing.
"Mama…" Her little voice murmurs the name lovingly and my heart aches in response.
Shushing her gently I stroke her arm before settling into my pillow. Closing my eyes I finally feel the dark rush in around me.
The sound of rain fills my ears. The droplets fall amongst the impossibly green forest around me. Looking around I don't see an exit from the dense greenage. Looking towards the sky I find no exit that way either. Frowning I take a step forward, the smell of woods and something else enticing me to keep moving. My bare feet move along the forest floor, but nothing stabs the soles of them. A howl breaks through the world around me. Turning in a circle I can't pinpoint the origin of it. Another sounds out and I close my eyes, savouring it. It almost feels as if it was calling out just for me.
"Hello!" I shout out. Another howl answers me, closer this time. "I"m right here!"
The howling continues, but this time it almost sounds like it's right on top of me. Spinning around I meet the first color other than green that I've seen thus far. Brown. Big brown eyes and russet fur.
The feeling of small hands pushing at my arm wakes me. Rubbing at my eyes I open them and meet Anna's fearful gaze. Alarm screams through me and I sit up looking around for the cause of her fear. Finding nothing out of place, I open my arms to the tearful toddler. Sensing my acknowledgement to her feelings, she wastes zero time leaping into my lap. I hold her close to me as her tears soak my shirt and her quiet sobs shake through her. Rocking her back and forth, I shush her gently and murmur reassurances in her ear. Her curls tickle my nose and I rub her back.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I murmur into her ear. Her head shakes and she burrows deeper into my chest. "Are you hungry?"
She doesn't answer and I look at the clock next to the bed. Angry red numbers tell me it's only 7am in the morning. Groaning internally, I let her cry herself dry before she pulls away. I quietly wipe away her tears and wipe her nose.
"When you're ready to talk about it, just let me know." I tell her. She nods shortly. "Good. Now go use the potty and I'll help brush your teeth after."
It doesn't take us long to get ready and leave. Trying to cheer her up, I grab McDonald's for breakfast. We were only on the road for two hours before an unfamiliar ding meets my ears over the movie I had put on for Anna. Pulling over to the side of the road I dig out the phone and open it to read a new message.
He stopped by this morning. He tried to convince us you kidnapped Anna and was upset we didn't know where you were. He wasn't convinced. Dad said message only, but don't tell us where you are. Be careful reaching out. Hope you're safe.
The message makes my heart pound. My hands shake as I message back a short reply.
I'm sorry.
Dropping the phone in the middle console I begin driving again. The rest of the drive wiss awful. Fearful thoughts of being found pushes me forward. I rarely stop moving. I don't even check into another hotel room until I pass over the Washington border. Sleep is filled with nightmares of beatings that never end and Anna screaming for help, always just out of my reach. By the time I'd wake up, I feel like I could never sleep again. No time is wasted as I load us back into the truck and continue driving. Washington...is beautiful. The foliage is already bursts of oranges and reds. Yellows dotted along the trees and the beauty of it leaves me breathless. Fall treats the state with the utmost respect. The tension of being caught up with fades the further into the state we go. Yet the tension of meeting a grandmother I don't remember grow the closer we get to La Push. No other texts arrive leaving me hopeful they didn't have another visit from the subject of my nightmares.
I let myself melt into the scenery in an attempt to wash away my anxiety. Anna seemed to pick up on my mood as she finally begins to express her displeasure in the usual kid way. For hours she whines, kicks her legs, and definitely is working herself into a horrible mood. By the time we finally pull into the parking lot of an auto shop in La Push I was ready to rip my hair out. I don't think I've ever jumped from a vehicle faster than I did now. Anna is finally silent as I stretch my legs and breathe in the scent of salt in the air along with rain and forest. Closing my eyes, I let myself relax a little. Pulling Anna from the truck I trudge my way inside the office off to the side of the building's shop and enjoy the warmth of the room compared to the chill outside. The smell of oil hangs in the air and the sounds of air hammers and air compressors sound behind the door behind the desk.
A ding distracts me and I turn to feel my heart thud loudly at the tall bulky body standing in the room. Handsome is my first thought as I take in russet skin and a body to drool over. Snapping my eyes up and forcing myself to make eye contact I fight not to flinch back.
"Don't be disrespectful! When you look at me it will be with respect!" John's booming voice rushes up to me like a freight train. "Don't you ever roll your eyes at me!"
"I didn't roll my eyes! I swear I didn't roll my eyes!"
"Miss? Are you okay?"
The question has me jerking back just slightly. Anxiety pours into my body and my grip tightens on Anna. Shifting in my grip I force myself to ease up on her. The man still stares at me, this time concern in his eyes and then alarm as he finally takes in my face. I know what he's seeing and it makes me self conscious.
"Do you need help?" His voice is definitely concerned.
"No. No." I rush out. "I'm actually just looking for directions."
"Ummm, okay." He replies, his eyes still alarmed and doubtful.
"I'm looking for Abigail Rainwater." I tell him. "I've lost her address and don't have her number."
"Abby!" He says a small frown spreading across his face. "Are you related to her?"
"Ummm, yeah...I'm her granddaughter." I twitch uncomfortably.
"Oh, I...Uh yeah. She lives just down the road on the right. It's a log cabin house. Has a dead flower bed outfront. Rusty blue truck." He tells me pointing out the window.
"Thanks…" I read Seth off his name tag.
"She can be pretty short with people so don't be discouraged." He lets me know gently.
"Thank you, I appreciate it. Say thank you Anna." I encourage with a small smile.
She lifts her head slightly out of my neck and gives him a small smile and I watch his face slacken abruptly.
"Are you okay?" I ask, waving my hand in front of his face. "Hello?"
He doesn't answer as he continues to stare at Anna. His mouth curves into a dorky smile and I feel Anna pull out of my neck a little more. The situation leaves a weird pit in my stomach and even though my feet want to stick to the ground I force them to move. Frowning, I turn and leave quickly. The sound of someone else, with a voice that makes my hair raise, asks Seth what's wrong as I walk out the door. I push away the odd pit in my stomach and nervousness replaces the feeling. It takes hardly two minutes to pull into the gravel drive. The cabin itself could've been very pretty once. Now weeds have overtaken the yard and ivy climbs up the side of the cabin. The flower garden is definitely dead. The trees and hedges need a desperate trim. The paint is peeling off the shutters and the red tin roof was overrun with rust spots. Taking a deep breath I get out of the truck and pull out Anna. Making sure she's straightened up I take her hand and we walk up the steps of the rickety porch and knock.
"Hold on!" I hear an older woman yell.
My heart takes off at a speed that it had black spots dancing along the edge of my vision. Taking another steady breath I push back the need to sit down. The sound of locks sliding grabs my attention and I look up in time to see an elderly woman step forward behind the screen door. Her hair is up in a bun, mostly silver with strands of black. Her russet skin wrinkled, but not overly. She came up above me by at least a foot and was slender. Her flannel button down was thrown over a simple grey tee and jeans. Work boots cover her feet. She stared at me with mossy green eyes that take me by surprise. They're the same eyes I see everytime I look in the mirror.
"Can I help you?" Her voice is gruff and it makes me want to turn and run, but the feeling of Anna squeezing my hand nervously keeps me in place. This is for Anna.
"Are you Abigail Longfoot?" My voice is shaky as I watch her regard me with suspicion.
"Yes." She says shortly before sighing. "Look, I'm not interested in whatever you're selling today. If it's Billy Black that sent you, you tell him I'm fine and I don't need a damn nurse. I've gotten this far on my own, I don't need anyone underfoot. Especially one that comes to an interview with a child."
"Billy Black didn't send me." I tell her gripping Anna's hand tighter in my own. "My name is Charlie Rainwater. I'm your granddaughter."
So I know it's a short chapter but please leave a review if you can! I would really like to know your thoughts. I'll have another update up within a week. Please please please let me know what you think! Trust me when I say this story will begin taking off very soon!