Chapter 8 - Truly Forgotten

After the encounter with Elsa, a pink-haired maid found Emilia and soon disappeared with her in tow. With their disappearance, the Crusch camp decided that they should start heading home.

Wilhelm and Felix stayed behind to carry Rom over to the Karsten manor. Subaru could have sworn that Wilhelm hesitated, but he didn't question it for long. Currently, the rest of them were walking over to the manor.

"I can't wait to pass out on a bed. Today has been too much for a hikikomori." Subaru groaned. He never expected to be in one life or death situation, but being in multiple was something he never even dreamed of.

"Interesting, I haven't heard of a hikikomori before. What does it mean?" Crusch asked. She was walking in front of the small group, and turned around, stopping the walk to the manor.

"O-oh, it's just something in the past, don't worry about it," Subaru said. His eyes turned away and stared at the very interesting dirt. It was obvious that he was trying to dodge the questions.

"Past, huh?" Felt whispered to herself. She had her hands in her pockets and just kept looking down while they walked. "All of you guys are weird. Not that it's a bad thing." Felt said while kicking the small rocks on the ground.

"Natsuki-Sama seems to be the weirdest here then?" Crusch used Felt statement to tease Subaru a little bit.

"Hey! I'm not even that weird!" Subaru yelled in feign anger, but then he noticed something for the first time. "Why did you use -sama? You're way out of my league." Subaru asked. He was too stressed out before to comment on it.

"You mentioned coming from another world, did you not? It would be foolish for me to call you anything else until you confirm your status." Crusch said. Then she flashed a smug smile. "By your reaction, it seems you aren't too special, Subaru-Dono."

"You know, even though I asked for it. It still feels embarrassing being ranked down like that." Subaru said

"WAIT! Are you just going to gloss over the fact that he comes from another world!" Felt looked up and pointed at Subaru in shock. Her eyes were wide and back away a bit.

"My apologizes for leaving you in the dark," Crusch said to Felt. She looked slightly amused at Felt's reaction. When she heard the news, she was also surprised, but she mostly kept it to herself.

"Weird, weird, weird. You guys are way too weird." Felt said. She was embarrassed by the outburst. "Just hurry up already, it's way too dark to be going slowly." Felt then speed walked in front of them.

"Tsundere," Subaru stated before moving on. He felt a breeze of wind, and his body tensed up as if he was stuck in time. His body relaxed after the wind calmed down.

"Puck..." Subaru thought

The rest of the walk to the manor was uneventful. Once they arrived, Subaru found two people he wasn't expecting to meet.

"What was the hold-up nyowh?" Felix came over to greet them as they walked through the large gates. "If you're wondering, Old Man Will is sleeping. It's hard to force patients to sleep nowadays." He said casually.

"Weren't you the guy that was supposed to bring Old Man Rom here? How the hell did you get here before us?" Felt said accusingly. Her face wrinkled as if she was preparing for violence.

"I don't know what to say blondie; you guys just weren't fast enough," Felix shrugged, ignoring Felt's look. "You're Old Man is safe, don't worry," Felix said to ease her mind.

He then turned to look at Subaru. "That fire spirit is still following you around? If I were to guess, I'd say it wants to make a contract with you." Felix placed his hand on his chin and thought for a second. "Do you even know what a contract is?" Felix asked.

Red was moving up and down rapidly. The light it emitted increased, most likely as a sign of excitement. It even moved to Felix and spun around his head.

"I don't know what that means, but Red seems pretty happy with the idea. I guess I owe it anyway. How do you make a contract?"

Crusch decided to chime into the conversation. "Usually you say your terms, and then the spirits will say its terms within your head. If you agree, a contract is signed, and you'll be bound by it until it's broken, or you die." Crusch lectured Subaru.

"I see," Subaru thought.

"Well, for one, you'll have to help me whenever I'm in a battle. Two, You don't harm me, or my friends, three, we'll take care of each other. Anything else you want to add." Subaru said. The spirit started to glow even more and floated to Subaru's hand. He opened up his palm for it to land.

"Give…Mana… Daily. That is it." The spirit said within Subaru's mind.

"If mana is like in video games, then it probably just means magic. I guess I wouldn't mind." Subaru thought to himself.

"So, I just need to give you daily mana? If that's the case, then I accept your contract." Subaru stated

The light that came from the spirit reached its limit when it started to glow bright enough to start hurting his eyes. Once the light subsided, all that was seen was the red spirit on Subaru's palms, but on the inside, something felt different. He felt connected to his spirit.

"Wow, now I want a spirit!" Felt crossed her arms in jealousy, as the contract was officially signed between Subaru and Red.

"Well, now that our partnership is official, I should give you a cooler name, huh?" Subaru said to himself. "How about, uh, um." Subaru was struggling to think of a cool name.

"What about Glowly?" Felt suggested

"Nah, way too simple," Subaru responded

"Well, how about Fire. Since it uses fire magic." Felix added

"You guys aren't that original with names, huh?" Subaru mocked

"Well, if those two names aren't for you're liking, may I suggest using the name, Scarlet. It's simple, it's similar to the original name, and sounds nice." Crusch decided to add her take on the name.

"Scarlet, huh?" Subaru looked at the now moving spirit. It was so full of energy and did make Subaru happy. "I like it, thanks Crusch-tan." Subaru smiled at the new name for his spirit.

"Tan?" Crusch and Felix said in unison.

"Oh, uh, in my homeland, it's just a version of chan you say when you want to get along with someone better. I just thought it would fit you since you saved me and all." Subaru was slightly embarrassed about his blunder. He didn't think about what he called her until they mentioned it.

"I hope that doesn't count as a lie, since technically tan means affection." Subaru knew he had a bad habit of looking at the away when he lied, so he stared straight at Crusch eyes.

"Get along better with me, huh? Well, I suppose I wouldn't mind. You'll be here for quite a while after all." Crusch smiled at his unique honorific.

Subaru felt a chilling glare directed at him. He had a feeling he knew who it was from, but it was best to ignore it. That's what his dad would do, after all, he is his son.

"I'm glad we all made it out safe. Today was rather exciting was it not? It's best if we start resting for tomorrow after these events. Felix, would you mind showing them to their rooms?" Crusch decided to rap up the day and started to head back. "Good night" She raised her hand to signal her departure, her steps growing quieter with time.

"She is something, didn't even wait for you to respond," Subaru said with a smug look on his face.

"Crusch-sama doesn't nyoed to wait for a response, I'll always do what she demands!" Felix didn't waste a second to defend his loyalty to her.

"Ya, ya. Heard it all, just show us to our rooms, Doggy." Felt quipped back. She was a rag-tag type of girl, so she never really liked the concept of complete loyalty. If you say something worth doing, then sure, she'd do it, otherwise, you can screw off!

"You have a sharp tongue, eh?" Felix then turned around and accepted her demand.

Subaru and Felt promptly followed behind, but Subaru couldn't help but get a chill down his spine when he saw Felix trying to hold down a laugh.

They walked through the manor, but Subaru couldn't help but notice something very off. They were on the other side of the manor, at least from where Subaru's original room was.

"Why'd you have to piss him off." It seemed as if Subaru was trying to burn a hole through Felt's skull. He was way too tired to try and speak up. He was hoping that whatever Felix was up to, it wasn't too bad.

They came to an abrupt stop in front of a well-furnished door. Felix opened the door with glee.

"This is where the two of you will be staying, nya!" Felix delivered the news. His smug smile was in full force.

"Thanks, fo- WAIT WHAT!" Felt was about to enter the room when she processed what he said. "No way in hell you can live in a place like this and not have two separate rooms." Felt eyed Subaru and covered herself as if he were a beast. She carried herself with pride, so even if she was a guest, she wouldn't allow this.

"Sorwie, Felt-chan. This is the only room we have left." Felix made a cat gesture with his arms to mock them.

"That accent does get annoying…" Subaru placed his hand on his head. "I know you have more rooms on the other side of the manor," Subaru told Felix. He hoped that he'd just give up now.

"Oh, you're talking about those rooms, nyow. They are for guests only. Crusch-Sama is very busy and gets many people coming, and going. You guys are "permanent" residents. The old guy is too big to share a room." Felix walked into the room and plopped himself on one of the beds. There were two beds on the left and right corners of the room.

"To hell with that, I'll just ask the noble girl where they are!" Felt was prepared to leave.

"Her name is Crusch-sama! She may already be asleep by now. You wouldn't want to wake her up nyow? She is letting you stay for free. At least Subaru-Kyow is providing." Felix relished his opportunity to get back at her.

"ughhh, fine. Get out." Felt stated flatly.

"We're going to be living together for a while now, let's get along nyow." Felix walked out the door, and almost closed it. "Good nyight," Felix said before winking and closing the door.

"uggghhhhh," Felt said before she fell straight onto her bed.

"He sure is something, huh?" Subaru huffed. He also went to his bed.

The room had an awkward silence. All he knew about her was that she was a thief and that he saved her, or more like… he saved himself.

"I am a failure. I'm no hero, if it weren't to save myself, she would have been… dead. Death; I had died. There was nothing to deny. Crusch, Wilhelm, Felix, Felt, and Emilia. They all died, because of my lack of action. I'm nothing. My father would have been able to save everyone. Wh-"Subaru was suddenly cut off from his thought by Felt.

"Sorry about the outburst, even I could see that you're tired," Felt said nonchalantly. She repositioned herself and started to lay down properly.

"It's alright, I was annoyed with him too. This is such a generic trope, guess I'm in a fantasy world. Didn't expect you to be picky about sleep though." Subaru said.

"I got no clue what you said," Felt huffed "but, I don't care about sleeping in the same room with someone. I would've been dead with that mindset a while ago. I just wanted to wipe that smug look off that cat boy's face." Felt kept trying to reposition himself. It was painfully obvious that she wasn't used to sleeping in a place like this.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! His smug face took a few years off my life, at least." Subaru laughed a bit to lighten up the mood. "You came from the slums, right? What do you plan to do now? I just got a job, but besides from that I'm still no good when it comes to having a goal." Subaru wanted to know a bit more about Felt. He was going to get to know her sooner or later.

"Easy, I want more. I want to get out of the slums for my wealth, and my knowledge. This… feels like a cheat. I've been working from Vollachia and back every single day just to get out of there. Only to be here one day; just because some noble pitied me. It just feels too weird." Felt said. Melancholy was oozing out of her mouth, each word she spoke piggybacking off the last.

"Cheats, huh? I've been cheating a lot of things recently. It's been working out so far, but I guess I can somewhat relate. Especially since Crusch-Tan had no reason to accept your wish. Her thought process sometimes goes beyond me." Subaru said. His face was confused for a second, before correcting himself. "Wow, I'm talking like I've known her for a while. I've only just met her after all, so I guess I can't say much." Subaru finished off.

"I guess cheaters can always relate to other cheaters. Crusch Onee-San… I can't tell what she is thinking. It bothers me." Her voice lowered, and she looked toward Subaru. Her mouth moved, but at the last second, she hesitated. Felt wouldn't open up that easily. "Why the hell am I talking this much?! Turn off the light. I don't know how to use it." She quickly threw off her shoes and covered herself head to toe with the blankets.

"Also, don't you think of doing anything...!" She tried to shout, but what came out was a slightly loud mutter at best.

"Jeez, I thought we were getting somewhere. I prefer older women by the way." Subaru tried to see if Felt would respond, but the silence confirmed that the conversation was over.

He swiftly turned off the firestone lamp, took off his shoes, and covered himself in his blankets. Similarly to Felt, not a single spot was shown out of the blanket, but for him, the reason was a lot more problematic.

"I don't want to feel the cold. I don't want to feel the cold. I don't want to feel the cold. I don't want to feel the cold. I don't want to feel the cold. I don't want to feel the cold. I don't want to feel the cold." Subaru thought as he wrapped his arms around himself. It was so sudden, he was just talking to Felt, but now, he is alone. He didn't want to go back. He wants to forget. Forget it all. Who was he? He's not special at all. Death affects him like anyone else. Pretending to be alright in front of people. Saying you're alright when you aren't, just to show a false front. Isn't that so, prideful? but… he can't. After all…

He was his son.

For hours he struggled to fall asleep. It took a strange amount of time, but even Felt's soft snoring could be heard from the other side of the room.

"I just want to sleep. M-Mom, she would always help me, but she's not here. I want her to cuddle me, tell me it's alright. I just want to see her. One more time." Subaru's regrets and pain were catching up to him at a rate he could not comprehend. Struggling. That's all he could do.

Cold. He constantly felt cold. If only he could feel the warmth he once had.

It was a weird feeling, no? Thinking about his parents, when he can't see them again. Living with his parents was like peeking through a little window at an exhibit showing a piece of their soul. The only problem is, that he was looking at the exhibit for 17 years, so he eventually lost track of its beauty. Subaru didn't realize it, but it was like he was passing his parent's ship. Their course is almost done and his was just beginning. He was walking a path that they took long before and they've left a piece of themselves behind, within him. Now the exhibit has closed, and their ship has finally reached its final destination.

He expected to spend the night alone, and cold, but he felt something. An eerie touch. A non-human touch.

He couldn't move. Couldn't Breath. His eyes stayed open, as his heart tried to skip beats. Everything became clear. Was his breathing always so loud? He could feel it. The thing, come closer, and closer. Was it near his ear? Yup, it's close. Was he going to die? What was happening?

His mind raced, as his judgment was passed. The voice of a girl was heard.

"You didn't listen." With the sound of the voice, he blacked out within an instant.

….

…

..

.

Shadows.

He had no hands to touch, no legs to move, no mind to think, no eyes to see, no mouth to talk. No ears to listen. No nose to smell.

But, he could do all those things. He could see, hear, touch, and smell. Well, he couldn't move, but that's beside the point.

Maybe it would've been better if he couldn't see, since the only thing there was, isn't something he would've liked to see. White, and black. The collage of colors that faced Subaru. A collage he could recognize as the Witch of Envy.

"Avoid the one that copies I. White and purple are the clues. Run into her, and you lose." The Witch of Envy then giggled into her hand. "You lose, my love." As she said that, numerous shadow hands appeared from the darkness, and tried to aim at… him? He couldn't tell, since didn't have a body.

Then he experienced it.

It was in an instant. His brain stopped working properly. It was like every memory he ever had spilled into his consciousness at the same time. The chaotic flow of time drowned any semblance of understanding. Happiness couldn't be seen within the depth of sadness, while greed couldn't be seen within the depth of pride. His mind truly couldn't understand what he was experiencing at this moment.

He heard it. A few voices stood above the rest. The second he heard them, memories flooded within him. Some he could recognize, others not so.

"You don't get it, A million sorry's is not equal to 1 thank you."

"I have only one wish: for all to be equal. I desire to create a nation where all citizens are equal."

"Well, I've been hearing you be called Subaru. So I was just wondering which name you prefer."

"Natsumi-san, right? I don't know what happened to you in the past, but you aren't useless! I saw you trying to protect the little girl, and I think that was reaaalllllyyyy brave of you. You are just better at some things than others,"

"The person I wished would remember the most did remember. I'm feeling rea~lly good right now!"

"My name is Emilia, just Emilia...Please, tell me your name."

Whatever these events were. They stood above the rest. The voice in each of them sounded similar, but he couldn't remember who it was from. He swore he heard that voice before. Crusch? Nope Felix? Nope Felt? Nope. If it weren't them. Who was it?

The memories stop. His brain stopped pouring out experiences. Silence. He felt more coming up. This time, it was different. This time, it was his voice.

"Happy birthday Reinhard, you unlocked a new you."

"I will save you."

"I hate Vollachia!"

"Do you know who 『Natsuki Subaru』is?"

Once again, the voices in his head came to a halt. He was back in the world of shadows. There was one difference though. The Witch of Envy was holding a 『Silver key』.

"Things are a bit different, my love. Next, we meet," She cracked a small smile. "This will be gone." She said as she dangled the key.

What does she mean? Gone? What is that for? What the hell is happ-

Slap.

"Wake the hell up already!" Felt screamed.

With that, he was back on his bed. The sheets were covered in sweat, not to mention Subaru himself. He placed his hand on his cheek. He looked around and found himself facing an angry Felt.

"My Old Man is a heavy sleeper, but you might give him a run for his money." Felt sarcastically commented.

"F-Felt? Oh… it's just you." Subaru groaned. "I had a bad dream, that's all. Sorry for waking you up." Subaru didn't want Felt to see him like this. He couldn't look at her. The shame building within him wouldn't let him.

"Nightmare huh? It wouldn't take a genius to tell that much." Felt walked away after that, much to the relief of Subaru. He was glad she didn't question it.

That was until he got hit in the face by a pillow.

"You were mumbling about being cold, then you went on about shadows. I won't question you, but just take my sheets if you're going to be so cold." Felt dramatically turned around. "I don't want you bothering my beauty sleep! You were annoying." Felt said.

"Isn't this the scene where the girl is supposed to offer to sleep next to me? A pillow to the face is a pretty big difference." Subaru said in a teasing voice. He relaxed as his body temperature started to drop back to normal levels.

"So you are into little girls, creep. Go back to you're mommy if you wanna sleep next to a girl." Felt walked back to her bed, hoping it would be the final time tonight. Subaru found it strange how she didn't seem to care about not having a blanket.

"Taking a blanket from a little girl. I'm truly the biggest scum." Subaru thought. He quickly brushed off the thought. He knew that if he continued, he would land right back into a nightmare.

"I was joking about that sleeping part. I'm seriously not into little girls." He waited a bit, and all he got was silence. "Good night Felt."

He covered himself with the extra blankets, and pillows Felt gifted him and tried to go to sleep. Even with all of this covering, he couldn't stop feeling cold. He couldn't stop remembering; Wilhelm's shattered body. That was until he felt it. There was a warmth in his hand. He felt a soft grip. Maybe if he had the energy, he would investigate the warmth, but all he could really… do… is….

With that, all that was left of a Subaru's conscious was a boy enjoying a goodnight's rest.

The tranquil night sky could be seen flying over the harsh earth. Emilia always liked looking at the sky, especially when she was on a carriage. Something about moving with the sky always soothed her, even if she wasn't very savvy on any terms. It would've been even more enjoyable if a certain pink-haired maid wasn't mad at her.

"I guess I should tell you what happened Ram." Emilia decided to break the silence within the carriage. When the fight with Elsa was over, Ram came over to pick her up swiftly. She didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to everyone else. Ram insisted on knowing everything that happened, but Emilia tried to delay it until they were on the carriage. She was afraid of what Ram might say knowing she got her insignia stolen. Even if she got it back in the end since Felt quickly gave it to her before she left.

"I was waiting for an explanation this whole time Emilia-sama. Ram doesn't have all day." Ram was fed up with the delays.

Emilia caught her up on the events leading up to the insignia being stolen, and right after she found the thieves.

"So, you and some warriors fought off an assassin, is Ram mistaken?" Ram's voice slowly grew more annoyed as Emilia described the events. It was clear that she was trying to hold back what she truly thought.

"Yeah! There was a bunch of different people!" Alas, Emilia was a naive girl, and couldn't tell. She was happier about Ram's lack of reaction than anything else.

"They were reealllyyy nice to me. There were 6 people!" Emilia then put up 6 fingers. "Felt-Chan, Wilhelm-san, Crusch-san, Felix-san, Rom, and Suba-." As Emilia was speaking, she noticed that her mouth would no longer open. Nothing around her would move. She couldn't move her hands, and she no longer felt the small bumps as the carriage rode on small rocks.

Emilia was confused, scared, and afraid. Everything around her eventually turned black. A figure appeared that can only be described as her clone. She slowly moved towards her. Their noses could even touch each other.

"Different… the route is different. You aren't needed. Stay away." With those simple words, memories she didn't know she had resurfaced.

Mom

Geuse

Archi

With those names standing above the rest. The flood of memories suddenly stopped. She was back in the world of shadows. This time, her clone was holding a key.

"Stay away from -̶̨̛͚̦͇̆͂̊-̵͎̣̗̣͋͛-̶̬̬͎͈̑̾͛̉͒͜-̸̝̫̫̖̱͉̖̼͖̂̈́̽̃̈́̐̊̈́͝-̷̮̻̳̖͚͋̒͒͊͗̌̃́̈́̓͗͘̕͠-̶̪͕̻̰̣̟̄̑ " With those final words, she appeared right back to where she was before. Nothing seemed different at all.

"As you were saying?" Ram was confused at the sudden stop.

"H-huh? Oh, Ram. I feel like something happened, but I forgot." Emilia was rubbing her head to see what she could have possibly forgotten.

"Nothing happened Emilia-Sama, maybe you should rest. Ram would still like to know the last person's name." Ram asked

"Last person?" Emilia said as she tilted her head.

"You said there were 6 people. You only listed 5." Ram started to get agitated by Emilia's behavior.

"You're the one that needs to sleep, Ram," Emilia said smugly.

Ram turned around, and raised her eyebrow, waiting for her to elaborate.

"There were only 5 people!" Emilia said with confidence. She would never forget anybody that would help her in battle.

Authors Note: 7/25/2022

Why was Subaru's hand warm? What does Satella want from him? How will Subaru's death's affect him long-term? Why did Emilia and Subaru forget each other? What were the keys Satella was talking about? Who the HELL is -̵͎̣̗̣͋͛-̶̬̬͎͈̑̾͛̉͒͜-̸̝̫̫̖̱͉̖̼͖̂̈́̽̃̈́̐̊̈́͝-̷̮̻̳̖͚͋̒͒͊͗̌̃́̈́̓͗͘̕͠-̶̪͕̻̰̣̟̄̑?

Things are starting to get pretty interesting with the introduction of some more long-term questions. You can find the answer to one question if you pay attention in the next chapter.

All of Arc 2 is pre-written, so I just need to revise each chapter before posting! Currently in the process of writing Arc 3. Very excited for you guys to read Arc 3!

Btw, I did some thinking, and I've decided to remove 1 arc and fuse two arcs into 1. You can look back at the end of the last chapter if you want to see the new arc list. Those arcs were too slowly paced, so I would rather add their content within another arc to better my work.

I got a lot of wonderful comments on Ao3 last chapter, I truly did love every one of them! I also love the Wattpad and FFN community.

Lastly, for shoutout's. It was way too hard this chapter... you guys are just so lovely, can I marry a comment section? Anyhow...

Shoutout to Pyruus on AO3. You're the main reason I kept going with the story at the beginning! I'm always excited to receive an email whenever you comment. You're awesome :) For FFN, shoutout to Ertrision. You're new, so welcome in!

Wow, this Author's Note is quite large... I should get going now! See ya on Saturday.

-TonkaDev