Gamer4 in- getting started on this chapter the morning after uploading the last one-probably something to do with my excitement to get out of Peach Creek, as usual- things are just more interesting in the smasher world. Nothing else major to say- let's dive right in!
Disclaimer: Once, I rose above the noise and confusion, just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion- I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high!
Chapter III
Escape from Peach Creek
Crap's hit the fan this time- I've been attacked by floows and am in massive trouble with the government- the least you can do is give me a hint as to what the smeg is going on.
Crude, but Mario was really starting to lose his patience with being kept in the dark about everything. That in mind, he copied the above words into three letters, sealed them all up, and sent them individually to Roy, Link, and Zelda. Parakarry was out on a nighttime flight- strange, he didn't realize albatrosses were nocturnal. Either way, he paced around his room until Parakarry finally came back, landing gently on his bed.
"About freaking time," he muttered agitatedly. "Got a job for you!"
Parakarry's head tilt conveyed the message- Come on, man, I just got back from a flight- can't it wait a little?
"No, it freaking can't," Mario shook his head. "These letters? Take them to Strider, Link, and Zelda- don't come back until they finally put some decent explanations down- I'm tired of being in the dark. Attack them if you have to, I don't even care at this point."
Parakarry seemed to be scrutinizing him- this wasn't the Mario he knew.
"Here, I'll tie them up for you..."
Parakarry gave a soft coo, apparently attempting to calm him, as Mario did as he'd said. The moment he did, Parakarry took off out of the window. Left alone, Mario felt guilt beginning to gnaw at him- he'd been pretty short with the bird who was his only companion in these accursed summer months. Well... he'd make it up to him. Somehow. When he got back- which had to be soon, right? How could his friends ignore this one? Surely, he didn't have long to wait before finally getting out of this place...
XXXX
Remember those lessons about tempting fate we're always talking about? Well, there you go- Parakarry wasn't back the next day. Or the next. Over said days, Mario left his room only once, to listen to the news as usual- he'd only been out long enough to hear a report about the fire at Freddy's, which was being chalked up to faulty wiring- apparently, Mike Schimdt himself had testified to that effect. That was about all he heard before swinging back upstairs when the Smiths had begun directing glares his way.
Three years ago, Mario had entered a perpetual house arrest in his room- a prison-style sliding metal hatch had been put into his door for food to be pushed in at certain times, and Mario had been locked in the room around the clock. He now found himself in a similar predicament, down to Kate pushing his meals through that same hatch, except this time, the exile was self-imposed- there was nothing for him out there- not until Parakarry came back, at any rate.
With nothing else to think of, his mind turned toward the upcoming trial- and began to build up his nerves. Thoughts of the worst-case scenario filled his head- that he was found entirely guilty, expelled, exiled, the whole shebang. What would happen then? The only thing he knew for certain- smeg if he'd go back to the Smiths. Never again did he intend to live under their shadows. But then, what? Roy had once suggested accepting Mario into his house- could that be a viable option? Or was this wondering moot- could the government legitimately rule against him harshly enough to send him off to Subspace? Surely not... but then again, Mario had had some very screwy run-ins with the smasher justice system in the past...
It was the evening of the third night that something changed. Mario was leaning back in his room, staring at the ceiling. He'd considered booting up his Wii U in an effort to take his mind off of things, but lately, he didn't seem to be able to concentrate on anything. So, there he was, when he heard his doorknob turning- he rolled over to see Uncle John standing there, looking almost half as pompous as Tingle Limpah, his old Protection from the Evils teacher, generally had- which was pretty dang pompous.
"We're going out," he explained.
"Hm?" Mario gave an apathetic grunt.
"Your aunt, Bill, and I- we have an important engagement."
"Sounds good."
"While we are gone, I don't want you leaving this room."
"Wasn't planning on it anyway."
"If we find so much as a fingerprint on any of our possessions, there'll be hell to pay."
"Wave Existence forbid."
"We've taken inventory of all the food in the fridge- if there's anything missing when we get back..."
"Perish the thought."
"Just to make certain, I'm going to lock your door."
"Have the smeg at it."
John glared at him, apparently still not satisfied, but, nonetheless, turned and closed the door. A second later, a clicking noise signaled a key in the lock- Mario was now imprisoned whether he wanted to be or not. Then came the rumble of the Smiths' car in the driveway. Mario sighed. "Good talk. Good talk- always enjoy our witty repartee."
Mario honestly didn't give a crud- he'd been planning to just lay in bed, continually waiting for Parakarry's arrival in any case- this really changed nothing. He was quite content to just lean back, stare at individual pieces of ceiling dirt, listening to the house contracting, expanding, the pipes hissing, the quiet crooning of some woman he'd never heard before...
Mario mentally backpedaled. What was that last one? Was he hearing things? Listening with all his might, he heard it, quite clearly: "Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars... let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars... In other words, hold my hand... in other words, darling, kiss me..."
It was remarkably indistinct- it sounded like it was coming from downstairs. Abruptly, halfway through the second half, it was cut off, and the sounds of cursing came from yet another female voice, which Mario didn't recognize any more than the first. Loathe though he was at this point to use his powers, lest he cause even more problems for himself with the government, he slipped his hat onto his head nonetheless- there was only one theory buzzing around his mind- burglars were taking the opportunity to rob an unoccupied house.
But... was that really the case? He'd be the first to admit he'd done no real research into the mind of a thief, but to his understanding, they generally went out of their way to be quiet anyways- the less attention drawn, the better. And yet, there was that song again- "Fill my heart with song, and let me sing forevermore... you are all I long for, all I worship and adore! In other words, please be true... in other words, I love you."
"Love of the Wave Existence!" came a growling voice, drawing nearer as he listened. "Stop texting me!"
Another click, and his door swung open. Instinctively, Mario raised his hands, willing to start throwing fire if the need arose. He could see a group of silhouettes in the doorway- a sizable number. "Who are you?" Mario asked suspiciously. "Just a heads-up, you don't know what you're dealing with here!"
A ripple of laughter passed among the group, but the next one to speak sounded dead serious. "Sorry to disappoint you, Mario, but you're not exactly a demonic son of a b****..."
The phrase slammed into Mario like a sack of bricks... made out of lead. Demonic son of a b****... "Mr... Mr. Belmont?"
"Just Simon'll do for now, boy," the voice spoke. "I never really got around to teaching you anything, did I?"
Mario didn't lower his defenses- given his past experiences with people claiming to be Simon Belmont, he thought some scrutiny in the face of this guy was perfectly justified.
Another voice spoke. "It's okay, Mario... we're here to get you out."
Another lead bag to the stomach. "Mr... Mr. Mccloud?"
"Okay, enough of this, I found the light switch!" called yet another voice, and the next second, the lights were on, revealing the group to Mario in earnest. Nearest to the door were the first voices Mario recognized- Simon Belmont and Fox Mccloud. Fox looked even more worn-down than the last time Mario had seen him- which was saying something. Despite this, he had a wide, genuine smile on his face.
Still keeping the 'von Karma incident' in mind, Mario still refused to lower his defenses. "And I can trust you because...?"
Simon smirked. "Boy's mind works the right way, Fox- I'll leave this one to you."
Mario cast around his mind- what was something only Fox would know? "What's your nickname?"
Fox gave the slightest of smiles. "Mr. Hyde, at your service."
"Now ask something from him," Simon urged.
Fox sighed. "Mario... what creature was in my office when Ms. Nakamura delivered that pizza to you?"
"I'm gonna say... gnosis," Mario recalled.
"It's him," Fox confirmed.
"Looks just like I thought he would... if a bit thinner," spoke the smasher who had turned on the lights- an anthropomorphic vixen with light blue fur and a matching suit. "Guess it's true what they say about the cameras adding on the pounds."
"He's the spitting image of Jake Mario," nodded a man standing closer to the back- he was tall, dressed in a strange sort of armor that Mario recognized as a HEV (Hazardous EnVironment) suit- he had black hair that wrapped around his face in a beard and moustache, a pair of thick glasses, and carried a crowbar closely at his side. His voice sounded somehow familiar- it kind of sounded like that one guy who's in every Pixar movie... you know, the pig from Toy Story, the yeti from Monsters Inc., the semi from Cars? Yeah, you know who I'm talking about... he sounded like him.
"But then, there's his eyes," interjected the woman standing next to him- dressed in what appeared to be red martial arts clothes, her brown hair tied back in a long pigtail. "Those are Sarah's eyes, no doubt about it-"
She'd been on the verge of smiling at him, until her phone sounded off again- "Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars-"
The smile slid off her face rapidly, replaced by a look of severe agitation. "Holy Wave Existence, Bayonetta, stop texting me!"
"Didn't you change her alert?" the black-haired man with the crowbar asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, I did, but it looks like, somehow, she changed it back..."
Fox gave a smile and a roll of his eyes as he turned back to Mario. "So, how are you doing on this fine summer's eve?"
Mario didn't even know how to respond- a full month out here, scavenging for any news whatsoever, and suddenly, here was a large group of smashers in the Smiths' house, apparently to take him away, without any obvious signs of it beforehand.
"You're just lucky the Smiths are out," Mario stuttered.
"Says you!" came a shrill voice, revealing what appeared to be a humanoid mushroom- a short man with a blue vest, shoes, and an apparent spotted mushroom cap upon his head. "I'm the one who sent them that letter- told 'em they'd won a prize for keeping their house so neat- I've got some of my buddies ready to give them the grand prize of a bucket of fungus!" Laughing heartily, he added, "The one time you don't want to trust the fungus..."
"So we're leaving soon?"
"As soon as Bayonetta gives us the all-clear," Fox nodded. "Incidentally, how's that going, Li?"
"No, those last few texts have been more LOLcats," the brown-haired woman shook her head. "I wish I could block her, but nooooooo, we've got to all be able to contact each other at any time!"
"That is a pretty important thing for an organization like ours," Fox noted reasonably.
"Yeah, yeah, y- SON OF A-" she broke into more fury as her phone lit up- "In other words, hold my hand... in other words, darling, kiss me..."
Eager to change the subject at this point, Mario spoke up- "So, where are we going? Ordon Cottage?"
"No, too easily detected- we had to set up our headquarters somewhere a little safer. Took quite a while, too, I'll tell you that much. So, introductions- Simon Belmont..."
Mario was back to not being certain how to react- he'd known Simon Belmont for a year now... or he thought he had. To be introduced to him again like this... it was more than a little jarring.
"And over here, we have Krystal... Krystal Cerinia."
"I'd appreciate it if you could leave that last part out," the anthro vixen shook her head.
"She prefers that people never use her last name," Fox nodded.
"Well, whatd'ya want? It's such a generic name- seriously, it's just the name of the planet my family's from!"
"A problem in many a smasher's life, it would appear," Fox shook his head. "At any rate, over here, we have Gordon Freeman-" the bespectacled man with the crowbar- "-Li Kuugo-" the martial artist, who was still raging over her phone- "-Toad... not sure what his last name is..."
"It's just Toad," shrugged the shrill-voiced mushroom man.
"And over here, we have Lucca Porre-"
"Recognize my genius!"
"-Magnus Heracles-"
"Nice ta meetcha, angel face."
"-and Talon Macdonald."
"I do believe we've met before," spoke a large man with a wraparound moustache, speaking with a southern drawl as he reached out to shake Mario's hand. Mario... get this... didn't know what to say- he thought he might have met some of these people, like, four years ago, but quite a bit had happened in the meantime, leaving him feeling somewhat wrong-footed that they apparently expected him to remember them now.
"Er... Fox? Was this..."
"Really necessary?" Fox guessed, smiling slightly. "No, but there were quite a few volunteers to bail you out of Peach Creek, and Simon said-"
"The more, the better," Simon finished for him. "Can't have too much protection, in times like these..."
"Which is all well and good, but I've got some questions," Mario spoke up. "What's going on- specifically, what's going on with Tab-"
The reaction to him almost speaking that name was astounding. The smile slid off of Fox's face, Li dropped her phone, Magnus his large sword, Toad leapt into Talon's arms, Scooby-Doo style, a crack suddenly appeared along Gordon's glasses, Lucca and Krystal cringed, and Simon hissed, "Shut up!"
"Was it something I said?" Mario raised his eyebrows.
"We're not talking about anything out here- too exposed," Simon growled. "You can ask all the questions you want- once we're safe at headquarters."
"So, you can't tell me that, either," Mario guessed. A general shaking of heads. "Okay- how about you tell me how we're getting there?"
"I think we can accommodate that," Fox nodded. "We'll be using karts- no other way. You don't have your teleportation license, they've got eyes all over the Warp Zone Network, and one needs to get special permission to set up whir-gates, lest they be risking hefty consequences."
"If Fox is to be believed, you're pretty good on a kart- and you've got yourself a Wild Wing," Gordon spoke up, tapping his crowbar to his glasses- rather than breaking them further, it repaired the crack nicely.
"He certainly is," Fox nodded. "The Word on the Wind says last year alone, he was driving circles around a Meta Dragon with it."
"Not half-bad," Magnus concurred with a smirk on his face.
"At any rate, enough hanging around here," Fox interjected. "Mario, you should go and pack up- I'm sure Bayonetta will send us the actual signal soon enough-" even as he spoke, he had to raise his voice to be heard over the crooning of "Fill my heart with song, and let me sing forevermore..." and Li's agonized cries over it- "and we want to be ready when that happens."
"How about I lend a paw?" Krystal spoke up with a smile on her face. Fox paled.
"I... I'm not sure that's the best-"
"Ah, come on, lighten up," Krystal smiled. "It'll be fun!"
Mario shrugged- he honestly didn't care. The rest of the group left, as Krystal stepped into Mario's room.
"Now, this is more like it," she smiled, looking around. "I was just thinking- everything was so clean out there, it was almost like nobody even lives here- I know some people are neat freaks, but I actually like a messy house- to a certain degree. I mean, it just proves that it's inhabited, you know?"
"I... kind of get what you're talking about," Mario nodded. "Alright, time to get started..."
He reached down and began setting his books in his trunk, but Krystal raised a hand and shook her head with a smile. "What, you want to do it the long way? Watch and learn-"
She raised her blaster into the air and fired off a shot. Just like that, the majority of all Mario's possessions flew into his trunk without the need for assistance.
"Hmm... missed a few things," Krystal noted with a hand to her chin. "Ah, well, what do you expect- I only graduated a few years ago."
"Really?" Mario asked, his eyebrows going up again.
"My senior year was your noob year," Krystal smiled. "Graduated right after King Dedede left- the later teachers any good?"
"Fox was... so was the fake Simon, if you take away that she tried to kill me at the end of the year... but Tingle- let's just say you should be glad you left when you did."
"You don't say," Krystal shook her head.
"No, I'm pretty sure I- wasn't your fur blue just a few minutes ago?" Mario interrupted himself.
Krystal observed herself, then broke into laughter upon realizing her fur had turned a bright yellow. "Oh, yeah... that. I'm a shifter, you see- I can change little details of my appearance on command. Kind of like the whole 'human disguise' thing, but taken up to eleven."
"Really?" Mario asked, surprised- he'd never heard of such a thing.
"Oh, yeah- really worked out for me when I was training to be a hunter- said I'd be one of the best for stealth missions."
"Hunter?" Mario asked, now genuinely interested- that was a career choice he'd been contemplating for a while now.
"'Saving people, hunting things- the family business,'" Krystal nodded. "That's our motto. Same for Gordon- which is lucky for me, he gave me a lot of one-on-one practice, probably would have failed some of my tests without him."
"Can you pick up shifter powers after you're born?" Mario asked.
Krystal laughed. "Let me guess- thinking about hiding that scar on occasion?"
"It would be nice," Mario shrugged.
"Yeah, well, sorry to say you might be kind of SOL on that one," Krystal shook her head. "Shifters are born, not made- as far as natural appearance-changing, most smashers are restricted to the whole humanoid-shifting thing. Now- did I hear Gordon say you've got a Wild Wing?"
Mario nodded, producing the keys from his bedside table, plunging them into midair and turning them. A moment later, the Wild Wing had appeared, specially decorated to his own specifications, himself at the wheel. Krystal marveled. "I was always really into karts when I was younger," she smiled. "Not that it did me much good- I'm still driving a pipe frame around."
Mario cringed- any kart afficionado knew that the pipe frame was the absolute most common, least special kart in the industry. "I mean, it's not a bad kart," Krystal continued, "but I just never really had the money to spring for anything fancier."
Mario got out of his kart and sent it back into hammerspace before tucking the keys securely in his pocket. "So, that about everything?" Krystal double-checked, looking around.
"Seems like it," Mario nodded.
"Alright- off we go!" Smirking slightly, she added, "Off to Neverland!"
"I'd rather go to the Smash Mansion, to be honest," Mario shrugged, refusing to dignify that one overly much. He lifted up his trunk and began trekking downstairs. His escort was milling around the house, examining everything in interest, while Fox was concluding a letter. "And, that should just about do it," he smiled, dashing off a final period. Seeing Mario approaching, he explained- "Just leaving the Smiths a letter explaining the situation. You know, how they don't have to worry-"
"Neither do you, they won't."
"-how you're in safe hands-"
"Hope you put a trigger warning at the start of that letter."
"-and you'll be back next summer."
"And you should have put a trigger warning at the start of that sentence for me," Mario muttered. "Do I really have to?"
Fox smiled, but didn't answer. Mario was in the middle of shaking his head when he suddenly felt something being pressed into his chest. "Wait, what the-"
Looking, he saw Simon pressing a machine of some sort into the fabric of his clothing. "Stealth camo," he growled. "Maximum stealth for you, boy."
Mario examined his body, only to find... he couldn't. It was still nice and bright in the house, but he was looking right through his hand and into the face of Fox Mccloud. "What-"
"Stealth camo," Simon repeated. "Bends light around you to keep you from sight. Not entirely flawless, of course, but it's not like your invisibility blanket will do the trick."
"Won't people still get suspicious if they see a kart driving itself?" Mario pointed out.
"Details, details," Simon waved aside. "Come on, everyone- out to the front lawn. Nothing else to do but wait for Bayonetta's say-so..."
They all trooped out of the house and onto the lawn, where there were many, many karts parked, waiting for them. "How did you even get these onto the lawn without me noticing?" Mario asked.
"Interesting story, actually," Fox mused. "Y'see, all we had to do was-"
"Fill my heart with song, and let me sing forevermore..."
"For crying out loud," Li muttered, pulling out her phone again. "That had better be the all-clear... and it is!"
"Alright, everyone board your karts!" Simon ordered- they all did so, and Mario summoned up his Wild Wing. "Now, Mario... keep following us. Eyes on Fox- he's taking point. Where he goes, you go. The rest of us will keep a circle around you- and we don't break it, not for any reason, understand?" He briefly broke eye contact with Mario to address the others. "And, of course, we've got backup plans- plan B, plan C, all the way through to plan Z."
"But Simon, I don't want to go all the way to King Neptune's palace!" Krystal objected with a smirk.
"The hell you talking about, girl?" Simon asked, turning to her.
"Never mind, never mind," Krystal shook her head with a light laugh. "Just trying to lighten the mood."
"This is not a time for the mood to be lightened!" Simon barked reproachfully. "I'm starting to think you don't understand the gravity of this situation, Ms. Cerinia!"
The smile slid of Krystal's face. "Do not call me Ms. Cerinia!"
"Personally, I wouldn't mind being called 'Ms. Porre'- just throwing that out there," Lucca shrugged.
"I prefer to be called the Xin Shan Quan Master, myself," Li put in.
"I've always liked the ring of 'Dr. Freeman,'" Gordon threw his hat into the ring.
"Not important!" Simon interrupted before anyone else could call out their preferred titles. "Look, the signal's already been sent out- the die's been cast! Everyone start your engines- we need to be ready for the second signal-"
"You are all I long for, all I worship and adore! In other words, please be true, in other words, I love you!"
"That's the second signal!" Li called out.
"Son of a..." Simon muttered, on the verge of facepalming. "Alright, screw it, everyone take off!"
Mario turned to Fox, watching the proceedings with a light smile on his face. He flashed said smile at Mario one last time before starting up his kart and taking off into the night- the pyromancer hot on his tail, surrounded on all sides by the various other members.
In less then ten seconds, they were out of Peach Creek- they streaked down a long country road and eventually came to a highway. Mario started by thinking that they were lucky nobody else was on it... until he recalled the point where they'd passed some remarkably smasher-esque workmen who'd blocked off both sides.
Looking to his sides, he could see them all circling around him- Lucca, laser gun out and pointing around- the beefy form of Magnus, club out and at the ready- Gordon Freeman had put his crowbar away in favor of what appeared to be a machine gun. In the distance, he could see muggle towns whizzing by- this was the happiest he'd been in a while. Goodbye, Peach Creek, goodbye, Smiths- it was about time he got out of there!
"Next exit!" Simon called. "Keep following the route!"
Another several minutes of driving later, Simon spoke up again. "This whole thing's been going too smoothly- I don't trust it! Maybe we should fall back on plan B!"
"No, no we are not going through the lake because things are going too smoothly!" Krystal shouted back in objected. "There's no sign of anything going wrong- we might as well head right there!"
Mario, of course, had no idea what 'plan B' entailed, but if Krystal spoke the truth, and it involved going through a lake... yeah, he'd rather avoid that if possible. Great as it was to be behind the wheel of a kart, it was a very cold night, not helped at all by essentially driving around with the top down.
"Our protection ends here!" Simon called out as they passed by another 'construction site.' "Hook north by northwest!"
Mario glanced around- at some point, they seemed to have stumbled upon Mt. Rushmore- when had that happened? And since when had there been a large cabin behind it?
"Stop breaking reality, Simon!" Lucca shouted. "Me and Crono will have to fix that!"
"Crono and I, young lady!" Gordon called out- apparently, he was a grammar nazi.
"I really don't trust this!" Simon shouted. "We should run back across the highway one or two more times, just to be safe!"
"And I will shoot myself in the head before I do that!" Krystal shouted back. "If you want to go around on a wild goose chase all night, fine, but the rest of us are going to headquarters!"
"We're not far now- Toluca Lake is right over there!" Fox noted. "Keep close, Mario!"
Mario nodded- then remembered he was effectively invisible at the moment. He brought his Wild Wing as close to Fox's kart as he dared, noticing as they began slowing down- they were now going through a rather dreary-looking lakeside resort town.
"And here we... go," Fox nodded as he finally brought his kart to a stop.
"You know, I disagree with the movie on a lot of things," Mario noted as he began warming his body in the hope of melting the ice that was keeping him attached to his seat, "but you can't deny- this scene was awesome."
"True, true," Fox nodded, smiling. "Almost makes up for all the parts of the Department of Mysteries they glossed over."
"Shut up!" came Simon Belmont's hiss. "Spoilers!"
Looking around, Mario's opinion of this location remained largely unchanged- the houses around them were all dirty and grimy- the place seemed like it had once been a great tourist attraction, but had fallen into disrepair at some point, leaving only a large conglomeration of people who wouldn't be there if they could afford to move elsewhere. "Where are we, exactly?"
"Don't worry, Mario- the answers are coming," Fox spoke soothingly.
"Everyone- surround the area, make sure nobody's watching," Simon ordered- the escort nodded and scattered, creating a perimeter around the area. He then turned to Mario, producing a small piece of paper. "My first and last homework assignment as your teacher, Mario- memorize this, it will be on the test."
Mario blinked and examined the paper-
The headquarters of the organization known as Philanthropy can be found at 774, Crichton Street, Silent Hill, (a burn mark obscured the country's name,) planet earth.
XXXX
Pretty short chapter this time around- by my standards, at least. As ever, see how many characters you can recognize- there are quite a few of them. Hard saying when we'll be seeing the next chapter- sometime next week, probably. Is it just me, or are these particular notes just me waffling in an effort to fill up a bit more space? Yeah, forget that, I should sign off- until next time, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, flames, not so much, Gamer4 out!