I sat in a chair beside Rue's cot in the medical bay, bouncing my knee anxiously, rougher than I would've if Ria had been on it. I ignored the protest in my dislocated shoulder as I leaned forward and propped my elbow up on my knee to steady it, but it continued to tremble. I tapped on the armrest to my chair impatiently, irritating the droid tending to my wife no doubt, supposing it had nerves to grate on in the first place. The droid lifted Rue's limp arm to check her vitals, pressing two of its metal, claw-like fingers against the underside of her wrist to feel her pulse, which, had she not had one, I would've given up mine in a heartbeat. For once, my unintentional pun didn't make me smile. It was never my humor that amused me, only Rue's entertainment mattered to me. I longed to see the dimples her smile made in her cheeks and hear the sound of her pleasant laughter. I'd never seen her like this before, unresponsive, vulnerable, and it filled me with murderous rage for Palpatine. She'd always been stronger than me, braver than me, more calculated than me, so I never worried something like this would ever happen to her. She had relayed to me all her war stories, shown me all her scars, and though she hated the way they made her look, unfeminine to her, they made her all the more beautiful to me. Not because they had happened in the first place, no, that instilled me with a blood thirsty intent I'd never felt for anyone's sake before, but because she had the courage to unselfishly risk being scarred day after day and the courage to show those old wounds to me. Her courage was one small component in the vast array of factors that had caused me to fall madly in love with her. On the other hand, it was at the same time the source of one of my biggest insecurities, it was one of the reasons I wondered how such an independent, capable, perfect woman could ever love a flawed man such as myself. Under my protection, I vowed to myself that she'd never gain another scar for as long as she lived and thus far I'd kept that promise and never allowed her to suffer through more than a paper cut. Even when she had gotten paper cuts, I made sure that paper learned its lesson, but now, she had a fresh scar, possibly the biggest one in her life, and it was all my fault. "Sir?" I was made aware the medical droid had been speaking to me when it tapped on my sore shoulder. I fought the urge to wince, knowing Rue was experiencing far worse pain than I, as I turned my head to look at the doctor. "Yes?" I asked, clearing my throat at the crack in my voice, hoping the droid's audio sensors wouldn't pick up on the apprehension in my voice. "She's stable for now, but unconscious." The droid informed me in its robotic tone. I nodded because I wanted him to tell me more about her condition, not because I fully understood, but the droid simply stared at me with its glowing yellow photoreceptors. I looked at Rue on the gurney, her glossy blonde hair, the color more comforting than the droids photoreceptors of the same hue, flowed in ringlets down her pillow and off the side of the bed. "And-and is she…?" I stuttered, gesturing wildly as I swung my hand in a circular motion towards me, wishing the words would tumble out of my mouth. "I-I mean is she…?" I looked up at the heart rate monitor on the other side of her cot, its incessant beeping distracting me, along with the multitude of colors and numbers and squiggly lines. I always felt so useless in these types of emergency situations, my father's accident, Ria's birth, and now this. I never knew what kinds of questions to ask, where to be, how to help. Rue just seemed to know, it was an instinct for her, I've never seen her get flustered, ever. It was almost as if somehow she always knew everything was going to be okay, it was reassuring. No wonder Rebel always went to her first. It got to the point where it was a reflex to rely on her for my composure, even during her labor, she was the one that calmed me down. I needed that now, I needed her now. I felt myself growing more and more frustrated, so I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, imagining Rue's voice, calling me by one of her pet names and soothing me as she touched my face. "I mean when do you predict she'll be conscious again?" I reopened my eyes on Rue's soft, relaxed features, unsurprised my method had worked, yet somehow, my imagination hadn't done her beauty justice. "I am unsure," the doctor answered as I thought I heard a hint of sadness in its voice. "The recovery process can take up to two days or as little as a few hours," The fluctuation in different patients' recuperation periods was the reason behind its uncertainty. "But with her strength, it shouldn't take more than a couple of hours," the droid said assuredly and walked out of the room. I scooted the chair that I was sitting on closer to Rue until I couldn't get any closer, my knees mashed against the mattress and I took her small, cold hand in mine. Her hands were usually warmer than mine, though that wasn't the only reason I always wanted to hold hands with her. She usually would squeeze my hand back too, but this time I felt no reaction to my squeeze, not even a mere thumb rub of acknowledgement. "I love you so much, Rue." I felt myself cough out a sob as I pressed the back of her hand to my cheek to warm it up. The coolness of her hand actually felt soothing against my burning cheek that tears had started to run down. I examined the back of her hand and kissed it, tasting the saltiness of my tears. I remember her telling me that she hated her hands back when we were dating. I'd asked her what some of her biggest insecurities were. Too personal, I know, especially considering how early I'd asked for them, but she was willing to answer and I was determined to find something wrong with this girl since I hadn't found anything yet. I thought maybe if she told me what she thought was wrong with her, I'd finally see it, but everything she listed out, I argued with, telling her that was actually my favorite part about her, and I meant it. Eventually, we'd gone through every little detail she disliked about herself and I realized every part of her was my favorite part actually and she was even more beautiful to me than when we started. In the end, the one person who had anything wrong with them was me for doubting her perfection in the first place. She hated her hands because she thought they were too gnarly, too scarred, too rough, her fingernails too stubby to be feminine enough, but I loved her hands. They were the only hands I wanted to hold for the rest of my life. I drew small hearts with my finger on her palm and looked up once I'd memorized the rhythmic action, hoping to see her perk up at any second at the ticklish sensation and look at me with those gorgeous blue eyes of hers. "You're safe, sweetheart," I whispered. "Please, wake up." I begged and pressed my palm up against her damp forehead, glistening with beads of sweat, but she still did not stir. I leaned back into my chair with a disappointed sigh, not realizing my mistake until it was too late. I winced at the searing pain in my back as I jolted forward, remembering the lashes from the whippings hadn't healed yet. I reached underneath my shirt and tapped on the oozing wounds on my back, flinching with every touch, they seemed to cover the whole of my back. Rue had said it would take time to recover in between her profuse apologies though it wasn't her fault. I had done my part in protecting the secrecy of her rebellion willingly, because it was the right thing to do. These innocent people deserved their scarce shelter from the empire's reign of terror. It had taken Rue's sharp intellect and her reasoning skills to remove the veil that blinded me to the empire's tranny. I had been ignorantly living under it for 15 years before Rue came along, disliking the empire of course for what they'd put my father through, but never once fighting back, simply surrendering to its unjust rule, merely another drop in the bucket. I was ashamed I had almost fallen into the same state of compliance and that Rue had to pull me out again. I shuddered to think where I might be, had she not rescued me. Back in his clutches, just another puppet on the string. She had revealed Palpatine's manipulations to me, showed me his conniving way of speech served only to trap his unsuspecting victims into believing that they were following the wisest course of action by siding with the rising empire to forge a better future, which Ria was a part of. Rue helped me see the truth, which, from the outside, it was easy to perceive the emptiness of his companionship, but with his persuasive words luring you, with no one else there to reason with you, it was not so easy to see that his friendship only existed with the prospect of future benefit to himself. Rue had given me clarity, and a reason to fight, a reason to live. The rebellion had given me a purpose, something I felt part of, like I could make a difference, a feeling that I was valuable, something I'd never felt before. Rue gave me that and I was eternally grateful, I could never repay her. My mother had given me my life, but my purpose sprang entirely from Rue, my life hadn't truly started until I met her. While ruminating on the subject of my mother, I reached into the pocket of my tattered pants, now weeks old since we hadn't brought any supplies with us to Naboo and Rue had been rushed to the emergency room so urgently when we arrived back at base, I hadn't had time to change. I pulled the portable holoprojector out and set it on the edge of the mattress, weakly dialing the frequency to contact my mother. She deserved to know what had happened to her grandson, plus, I knew she'd be anxious to hear from us since we'd made it a habit to call her at least once every week and now we hadn't been able to converse with her in many weeks, being restrained from communication devices under Palpatine's orders. She answered on the first ring, per the usual, although with much more urgency this time, as if she'd been waiting by her holoprojector for a call. I felt my mouth twitch up into a tight lipped smile at seeing her, even though she looked frazzled and her hair was frizzy. She had always been a disorderly mom, she was always baking so our kitchen was typically cluttered, which didn't bother her. It would actually have bothered her if everything was neatly put away where she couldn't see it. If it was all sprawled out on the counter, she could easily locate what she needed. That was why it was a struggle for me to adjust to the rebellion where everything was organized, there was enough disorder though with Wrecker around for me to make the shift. "Ash! Where have you been? You've had us worried sick!" She scolded me as if I were still 5 years old, but breathed a sigh of relief as she placed one hand, which tightly gripped a towel, on her hip and the other over her heart. At first, I was surprised to learn she cared so much. Before I met Rue, I hadn't spoken to my parents in 5 years. When Rue and I were dating, she helped me, not exactly rekindle my relationship with my parents, since there hadn't really been one in the first place, but establish one, without ever even being aware of it. She motivated me, just in the way she treated others, even strangers, to treat everyone with respect, and that started with the people that raised me. I certainly hadn't treated them with respect when I moved out. I thought that by sending them a portion of my paycheck every month to help out, I was respecting them, but I really wasn't, so I slowly began to amend the mistakes I'd made with them in the past. Sometimes it was difficult for me to remember that we were close now after having grown up so distant from them. Apparently that closeness had always been extended on her end, considering how readily she accepted my apologies and how concerned she was for me now. I finally understood that unconditional bond of parental affection now, being a father myself. I wondered if I'd made a mistake in reconnecting with her though since she would now constantly be worried about my well being with how dangerous she'd heard working with the rebellion could be, and I worried for her safety too. Being tied to us, she'd be a target for imperial interrogation. "I'm fine, Mom-" I let out a humorless chuckle at my laughable bluffing as I bowed my head to conceal my poker face, knowing she'd see right through it. She cut me off before I could continue and begin to explain my lack of communication. "Are you okay?" I was most definitely not okay. I'd just lost my son before my eyes, I was in excruciating pain, I hadn't seen my daughter in over a month, and worst of all, I'd almost lost my wife too. "What happened to your eye?" Thankfully, she asked a different question, one that I could play off with much more ease. I reached up to touch my puffy black eye and winced. I hadn't had the chance to look at myself in a mirror before calling, although I was sure I looked like a wreck. I should've at least glanced at my reflection before contacting her, but it was too late now. "Nothing," I shrugged it off, covering my eye with my hand like a patch as I raised my head up again. "I hope you have a good reason for not calling for so long." She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow distrustfully. I nodded and took a deep breath. "Things have been…" I paused and looked off to the side, searching for the appropriate word. "Hectic here." I looked back at her, summing up the dreadful experience in one word without going into detail. I could tell that wasn't enough of an excuse for her so I blurted it out. "We lost the baby." I was glad half of my face was hidden because I couldn't contain the way I cringed when I said it out loud. "Oh, Ash," she said pitifully, uncrossing her arms and shaking her head. "I'm so sorry." She apologized and rocked forward as if she wanted to reach out and hug me, but since she couldn't she placed both hands over her heart. "Where is Rue?" She asked after a brief silence with apprehension in her voice as if she was afraid to ask. "She's resting," I said, looking over at her in her unconscious state. "Well, please give her my love," Mom requested. "I will." I nodded, without looking back at her, feeling my throat constricting. "Listen, Mom, I have to go." I looked back at her and fiddled with the device to find the button to end the transmission as my vision began to blur with tears. She couldn't see her only son cry, I wouldn't allow it, the sight would tear her to pieces knowing she couldn't do anything about it, which is why I had to hang up immediately. "Okay, I love you, baby." Just the mentioning of the word made a single, accidental tear drop slip from my eye as she waved farewell to me. I wiped at it furiously, hoping she didn't notice anything, though I doubt it with the way she was looking at me so intently. "I love you, too, Mom." I heard my voice crack as I hung up and then threw myself against the bed, sobbing into the sheets covering Rue's leg until there was a sopping wet puddle beneath my eyes. I could've sworn I fell asleep, but the next thing I saw was Sawyer standing in front of me zombishly, his shoulders hunched forward as his entire posture slouched. Our surroundings were pitch black, I couldn't tell where the floor ended and the wall began or if there even were walls and a floor. He stumbled towards me in a daze and his eyes were a glowing yellow, much like his father's as he looked at me with a downward slant to his head, making him look menacing. "S-Sawyer?" I stuttered as he drunkenly shuffled closer to me, dragging his feet and I noticed his clothing was dark, unusual for him. "I-It can't be." I shook my head. "You're…" It took effort to grind the word out. "Dead." It caught on the edge of my throat as it escaped, causing it to sound strained. "The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural." The voice that screeched out of his mouth was not his own, it sounded much like the emperor's as one side of his mouth was quirked up into a smirk. "You swore you'd never follow in your father's footsteps." I recalled the promise he made to me when he was a teenager to leave the atrocious, well known reputation surrounding the surname Palpatine behind, along with all association with the darkside that ran in his blood. The reminder seemed to offend him as he straightened up, clenched his fists, and glued his lips together, his reaction finally made him appear alive. "I follow no one's footsteps but my own," he shook his head. "And they will take me farther than my father could have possibly imagined," he said ambitiously as he puffed out his chest pridefully. "The empire will bring peace and prosperity to the galaxy." He swept his arm upwards towards his chin with his curled fist and his arm extended towards me as he attempted to convince me in his hoarse and sinister voice. "The rebellion will only bring pain and suffering," he spat untruthfully through his clenched teeth as he dropped his hand. I disagreed with him, shaking my head and opening my mouth to defend the organization both our wives had created, but no words were spoken. "Join me," he coerced. "And together we will rule the galaxy as best friends." He proposed, extending his hand towards me again, only open this time and in a friendly gesture. I would've loved to resume my friendship with him, one of my biggest regrets was losing it in the first place, but this wasn't the way I wanted to regain it. I began to shake my head to decline his offer when I heard the clop of boots against the floor as Rue strutted over to Sawyer and wrapped one arm around his waist strangely and the other she laid on his chest. I felt my heart tighten in jealousy, seeing her touch him like that, any other man, for that matter, regardless of who they were. She had never worn makeup before, she never needed it, she had always been ten times more beautiful without it than women who wore professionally done makeup. She chalked her natural beauty up to her perfect, artificially modified genetics that were manufactured on Kamino, humbly accepting none of the credit for her long, dark lashes and flawlessly symmetrical face, however, I told her I believed it was the force that had blessed her with a beautiful face to match her beautiful personality. That had earned a smile from her, a smile that had made my knees weak and still did to this day, but now what had made my knees weak was fear, rather than adoration, fear that she was no longer mine. She wore makeup now, a bright red lipstick had been slathered over her lips, her lashes were thick and volumized with mascara, and there was a layer of jet black eyeshadow heavily applied on her eyelids covering her blue eyes, now clouded into a gray-blue color that stood out much more against her black eye shadow. Her hair was slicked back away from her forehead and had been straightened, devoid of its normal, bouncy wave. She was dressed in her mostly white armor from the Clone Wars, only the accent points of her armor were painted hot pink, her pauldrons, the stripe down the middle of her chest plate, and the stripe down either thigh. She wore no armor on her hands and on the hand that was wrapped around Sawyer's waist where there should've been a wedding ring, there was none. The man I thought was my best friend wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her. I gasped in horror and shock as she kissed him back. I'd never felt so heartbroken, betrayed, and infuriated, but I was mainly furious at myself for not giving her everything she'd wanted. If she was leaving me, it had to be because I'd failed in some way. She was too loyal to make such a decision without proper motive. Once the sickening kiss had ended, Sawyer smiled down at her and said, "Your wife was smart enough to join me." He looked up at me. "Why aren't you?" He asked patronizingly. "Rue," I focused solely on my unfaithful wife as I swallowed the rising lump in my throat. "How could you?" I asked, shaking my head in disbelief as I looked at her through my tear-soaked eyes. She looked over at me, her eyes unremorseful. "You don't know the power of the darkside," she informed me, her gaze dark and cold, yet conflicted as she tightened her grip on Sawyer's shirt to ground herself. He wasn't as attuned to her as I was, he didn't know how to comfort her, he didn't squeeze her hand as she clutched his shirt like I would've. "Listen," I began desperately as I took a step forward and held my palm up towards them. Sawyer took a step backwards in a counteractive measure and held his palm up facing me as well, shielding Rue from me as he hugged her closer to him. I struggled to suppress my rage as I took a deep, shuddering breath and looked into Rue's eyes, knowing that would calm me, but her irises were flooded with terror now, whether it was directed at me or Sawyer, I didn't know. "He has done something to you," I said to Rue concerning Sawyer, convinced this wasn't her since it was so out of character. Sawyer, on the other hand, I couldn't tell anymore if he'd been compromised or if this was his true self. He was a mystery to me now, ever since he'd ended our friendship so suddenly, plus, there was logical reason for him to turn. After all, it was in his blood, but for Rue, it wouldn't make sense for her to abruptly join the dictatorship she'd been fighting all her life. "Snap out of it," I commanded earnestly as I snapped my fingers and gritted my teeth. She looked down at my fingers and back up into my eyes helplessly, as if chained. "This isn't you, Rue," I said assuredly but toning down my assertiveness so as not to frighten her and pointed at her, shaking my head. "If you're not with me," Sawyer interjected, taking my speech to Rue as a no to his proposition. "Then you're my enemy," he announced, taking a step away from Rue, allowing his hand to fall away from her waist, which I was grateful for. "Kill him, Rue," he ordered, pointing at me with one hand as he seized me with the force with the other hand and brought me to my knees. I knelt on the ground with a huff and my kneecaps hit the floor with a thud. "Kill him now," he demanded urgently as she unclipped the blaster from her holster with trembling hands and I turned my face away, squeezing my eyes shut. I could barely refrain from cringing at the irony of the situation, how Sawyer had been the one to prevent me from commiting a horrible mistake involving a gun back when I was young and now he was being the instigator. I had informed Rue about the incident as well, which was why she'd always been so careful about guns around me, which I knew was difficult since she'd grown up knowing her blaster as her best friend, but now none of my reservations about guns seemed to matter to either of them. I turned my head back towards her and opened my eyes as I heard her approaching. When I cracked my eyelids open, I was staring straight down the barrel of her blaster that she held pointed at my head. I gulped and felt light headed and dizzy, but shook it off. I'd never had a weapon held that close to my face before joining the rebellion, stood on death's doorstep and now I'd had two of the same occurrences back to back. "You don't have to do this, princess." I cast my eyes up at her as I addressed her by her pet name, hoping that would remind her of who I was, just in case she forgot. "Please don't do this," I resorted to pleading instead when she refused to holster her pistol. "Good soldiers follow orders," she repeated the phrase that she'd told me compliers with Order 66 had said on the night they executed it. That was what really tipped me off that she was under someone's spell and that what I'd said was true, this definitely was not her. "That's right," Sawyer praised her from behind as he snaked an arm around her stomach. "My empress." He dubbed her that as he pressed his palm against her torso and looked down at me mockingly from over her shoulder. "Rue," I ignored his attempts to provoke me as I endeavored to keep my voice even. "Remember what the darkside did to you," I instructed as I watched her finger hover over the trigger, knowing the only way to disenchant her would be for her to come to the realization that she was being deceived on her own. "Took away your home," I began listing off just a few of their grievances since there wasn't time for all of them as I helped her remember the empire had bombed Kamino, sinking the facility where she was born and had been raised into the tempestuous sea. "Your freedom," That was a blanket statement which included her being hunted by bounty hunters for two years during her solitude on Nar Shaddaa and just now when she'd been trapped inside the castle. "Your friends." Surely that was motivation enough for her to resist whatever hypnosis this was or maybe she already was, since I wasn't dead yet. "You don't want to do this." I had gone from telling her she didn't have to do this, to begging her not to, to now being her inner voice, telling her what was deep down in her true heart since her own inner voice seemed to be blocked. "I must obey my master." Her voice was muffled as she spoke through clenched teeth and her blaster wavered in front of my face with her shaking hands and the mascara began to smear down her cheeks with her tears of confliction. "Rue," In one final attempt to bring her back I invoked my last resource, myself. "I love you." I hiccuped out a sob, it hurt seeing her so torn when she had always been so sure of herself. I wasn't surprised to find I still loved her with all my heart even though she was threatening to kill me. I trusted her with my life, she was my whole universe, my everything, life didn't matter without her, but if she thought I deserved to die, then I probably did. However, I still bargained for my life because I would rather die arguing with her on that, than die knowing I hadn't tried to savor our last few moments together. "I only want the best for you, you have to believe me." That was my only alibi, our bond of trust. Hoping she'd remember it, I held my breath, shutting myself up to allow her time to think since I'd done all I could. "I-I can't do it." She hung her head and shook it as she lowered her armed hand. I released my breath, overjoyed she'd combatted whatever had a hold over her and won. I wanted to leap up and hug her, but the force bolted my knees to the ground and fixed my arms in place at my sides. She turned towards me but did not seem to share my enthusiasm and did not look as if she'd been freed, but as though she knew the consequences for disobeying. "Pathetic." Tears continued to stream down her face as Sawyer stabbed his red lightsaber through her heart and she gasped, leaning forward and catching herself on my shoulders. I reached up to grab her hips and steady her as her knees collapsed, realizing I was free of the grip the force had on me. I dropped down onto my behind and stretched out my legs to create a lap to lay her down in. "No, no, no…" I whispered over and over again, denying this was real as I laid my hand over her open wound. The blood felt warm and sticky and thick against my palm as I searched her paling face for the answer on what to do and saw her life ebbing away, slipping through my fingers. "Ash…" She croaked and then coughed. "Yes, my flower?" I used my blood stained hand to support the back of her head and used my other hand to gently caress her cold face with my warm hand. "I love you, too." She smiled at me one last time and stroked my cheek with her thumb before falling limp in my arms and shutting her eyes. I sat there, dazed, numb, and confused, no idea what to do from here. There was no way that had just happened, I couldn't accept it, Rue was alive and well and I knew it and she always would be because nothing like this would ever happen, she was too smart to be compromised. I heard the sound of a lightsaber being deactivated and I looked up to see Sawyer attaching his lightsaber hilt to his belt, disinterested in the scene that had played out before him as he fiddled with his sword handle. "What have you done?" I growled at my former best friend, the man I considered my brother at one point, for toying with my emotions in this cruel way. "I have done what is right," he turned his back on me and put his hands up on his hips. "Or what is wrong," he looked at me over his shoulder with a disturbing smile. "Depending on your point of view." He shrugged and I'd never wanted to cause him physical harm before, but now I desired more than anything to give him a good, firm punch in the face and truly make him suffer. I yearned to rake him over the very same fiery coals his father had me scorched with and rip his heart out and stomp all over it just so that he could sample a taste of what I was experiencing. "Appa." Ria's voice suddenly rang out in the silence, echoing all around us as I looked down at my lap and saw Rue had vanished, no trace of her left, nor her blood on my hands. I glanced around for the source of the sound and spotted Ria behind me, standing up in her white, wooden crib that Rue and I had built for her together. "Ria…" I breathed out her name, terrified of what Sawyer might do to his niece since he'd just murdered her mother. She suddenly began to levitate by way of the force and squealed curiously as she was flipped upside down and floated towards Sawyer. He dangled her from his grasp by her ankle and I stood up protectively, grinding my teeth as I watched my daughter swinging side to side with wide eyes. I don't know why I didn't reach out and grab her, it was like I was frozen, I couldn't react even though I wanted to, I wasn't in control. "Why, hello there, little one." Sawyer flashed her his father's detestable grin as he turned her right side up in his hands, holding her just below her armpits. She continued to drool on her hand that was in her mouth, oblivious to the danger she was in as she didn't seem creeped out by him in the slightest. "Sawyer…" I took a step closer and held my hand up to him, preparing myself to dissuade him from killing my daughter. He jerked her into his chest, shielding her from me as he eyed me distrustfully. "Sawyer, please." I held my hands up in a different gesture, one of surrender. "She's just a child," I said with an imploring tone, hoping indicating the fact that she was an innocent infant would spare her. "Don't worry, little one." He ignored me as he pulled her away from his chest and smirked at her again, reaching for the steel lightsaber hilt on his belt with wings on either side of it protruding from where the light emission was and a spiral coiling around where the beam would be once it had been ignited. "It'll all be over soon." He held her out in front of him, supporting her back with his forearm and grasping his laser sword in the other, activating it and causing a red ray of light to shoot out from it. "No!" I screamed as I plummeted to the ground on my knees and buried my face in my hands, hearing a blood curdling shriek and slashes. "No…" I whimpered softly. I don't know why I didn't do anything to stop it, why I couldn't, why I didn't fight tooth and nail to rescue her when I knew I could've, why I just stood there helplessly. No, something wasn't right about all of this. "Face it, Ash." Sawyer stalked over to me. "They were never on your side." He took my chin in his hand and directed it upwards so I'd look at him as he lied to me, obviously thinking I was dumb enough to buy it. I allowed him to raise up my head as I took my hands away from my eyes tentatively, not wanting to see if Ria's remains were scattered about the room. I grew nauseated even thinking about it. When I opened my eyes, I saw Sawyer's face right in front of mine as he leaned down to me. He was looking at me pitifully, but I yanked my chin out of his reach, I didn't need his pity. "I'm all you have." He looked around and gestured at the empty room then to his present self demonstratively as he stood back up straight. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Everyone I loved was gone. My mother, my father, my sisters, all seemed to escape my mind. I knew they existed, but I denied them as being enough. I slowly felt myself surrendering to Sawyer's control. He was here, he hadn't left me. I felt our connection sparking again as it had when we'd first met, I'd missed that feeling. I found myself calling to mind our every memory that I'd locked away when he died, blowing bubbles in the blue milk my mother fixed us, him helping me get dressed for my first date with Rue, our wedding, him talking me through my father's accident, our walks home from school, him bringing me the school work I'd missed during my suspension and helping me with it. Maybe he was right, right about the whole thing. If he'd gone to all this trouble to return, just to try and get me to join him, maybe he really was trying to save me. I began to rise, planting one foot on the ground while I still knelt on the other knee and he held his hand out for me to take. I gratefully took his hand and he pulled me to my feet as I looked at the ground. "Yes," I hardly lifted my eyes to look at him since he was a tad shorter than I was. He squeezed my shoulders, anxiously awaiting my response. "My master," I addressed him inferiorly and he smirked conspiratorially. "No," I gasped as I awoke with a start and slapped my hand over my pounding heart. I blew out a raspberry, relieved it was only a nightmare as I rubbed my eyes with my fists. It had been so realistic that it was disorienting, I had to remind myself what my name was, how old I was, where I was, when Rue and I's anniversary was, when Ria's birthday was. As I ran through the obligatory questions in my head, I observed Rue, yet still unconscious in bed, the relief that flooded over me was overwhelming, the relief that she was alive. I'm not sure what kind of rampage I would've gone on if she'd actually died. I rubbed her leg with my hand and looked down at my lap, noticing a blanket had been draped over my knees, I didn't think that had been there when I'd fallen asleep. I looked around the room, expecting the one responsible for the gift would be in the room, but I was alone. I shrugged and stood up, wrapping the blanket around my head and shoulders like a cloak as I walked over to the opposite side of Rue's gurney. The dimness of the room and the chirp of the nightly insects native to Kashyyyk told me it was nighttime. I stood over her, wanting to crawl in bed with her like a child so she'd cuddle me and protect me from more nightmares, but I didn't want to hurt her. As if I were mesmerized by her, which, in reality I was, I couldn't help myself from shuffling nearer to her. Surely I wouldn't accidentally hurt her if I just rested beside her, keeping my distance. I sat on the edge of the bed and lifted my legs up and laid down next to her, pulling the blanket over my legs. Of course, I couldn't resist for much longer, I snuggled up closer to her, feeling her warm, soft skin pressing against mine. I laid my head on top of her chest, just below her chin, hearing and feeling the steady beating of her heart against my ear. The rhythmic pumping lulled me into a deep, peaceful, dreamless sleep, unlike the first. I woke up the next morning feeling well rested for the first time in weeks and yawned, looking down at Rue as I propped myself up on my elbows while laying on my stomach. She was still unconscious, but so beautiful, even while she was sleeping that I couldn't keep myself from smiling and brushing back a strand of her hair. I arched my head forward to kiss her forehead and heard my name called. "Ash." I jumped, assuming I was in trouble for sleeping with her since I wasn't supposed to be disturbing her rest, but since I was laying on the edge of this already narrow bed, I fell off of it and onto the floor with a thump. "Ouch!" I yelped and groaned as I landed on my bad shoulder. I pinpointed the sigh I heard next as Rex's, judging by how long, drawn out, and disapproving it was. "Are you okay?" He asked apathetically out of obligation as I winced, clutching my shoulder with my hand. "Yeah," I told him what he wanted to hear as I rose to my knees and peeked at him from across Rue's bed. He was standing in the doorway as he tapped furiously on a datapad that he held in his hands. "Just a dislocated shoulder." I got to my feet and attempted to shrug it off, but I flinched at the twinge of pain that shot up my neck at raising my shoulder. Rex suddenly looked up from the screen and a look of genuine concern paned over his face. It surprised me so much that I cocked my head strangely at him and frowned, wondering if he'd just seen something troublesome on his datapad. That would be more realistic than him actually paying attention to my answer. Don't get me wrong, I still like Rex and I want him to like me. I even look up to him like a big brother since I never had one of my own, but I honestly had given up on the hopes of ever having a good relationship with him. I hadn't asked for his blessing to marry Rue, that was something he'd never forgive me for and I didn't blame him, it was my mistake, but I hadn't wanted to ask him for her hand because I was afraid he'd say no. I knew I wasn't good enough for her, I'm still not, and I was even more selfish back then. I only cared about one thing, getting her and having nothing stand in my way. I hadn't thought about the negative effects it would have on her family's view of me and on her reputation by marrying a man who hadn't even met her family. I was a disgrace to them and that was that, I didn't argue with it because it was a fair judgment and I deserved it, nothing was changing that. "You should get that checked out," he advised, taking a step towards me and dropping the datapad down at his side as he straightened both arms down on either side of him. I was stunned, there was no way he actually cared about my well being, the only times he was ever decent to me was when Rue was watching. Perhaps this was a test, a way for me to prove I had my priorities straight and that Rue came first, I came last. Even if it wasn't a quiz, I would've responded the same way. "I'm afraid I can't do that right now," I said as I shook my head decidedly and marched over to the chair I'd sat in yesterday where my back was facing him so that it was made easy to avoid eye contact. I thought about tacking on a 'sir' at the end, that was how inferior I felt to him. "Your sister is my biggest priority," I sat down in the chair and held Rue's hand again, rubbing my thumb over the back of it. "She's my wife and I'm going to be here for her." I was staying with Rue, nothing could persuade me otherwise, not even her older brother whom I was indebted to. "The two of you are so alike." I heard him set down the datapad he was carrying on a nearby table and drag a chair across the floor to plop down beside me. "Really?" I asked cautiously, apprehensive I'd say something wrong and scare him off. From what I could tell, behavior wise, Rue and I were complete opposites. Based on stories I'd heard about her, the time I'd spent with her, and her sweet innocent face, Rue was sort of a goody two shoes, while I was generally characterized as a bad boy. Speculations ran that that was the real reason she'd fallen for me. "She did the same thing when Rebel had her leg amputated." He sat down next to me and pointed at her, putting his ankle up on the opposite leg's knee. "She refused to get herself looked at until Rebel woke up." He leaned back in his chair and fitted his fingers together as I imagined Rue staking a vigil next to Rebel's gurney. It wasn't too hard to see her sitting down or pacing around the medical bay with an unconscious Rebel laying in a cot in the room. "Can't say I blame her." I scoffed, turning back to Rue as I understood exactly how she felt, unsure if Rebel would recover or not, nervous about how to tell her what had happened, anxious about how she would respond to the news. "So I'm going to give you the same speech I gave to her." He cleared his throat as he readied his speaking voice. My eyebrows shot up and I looked over at him quickly, shocked he was actually going to share some of that famous wisdom with me that he'd shared with Rue. If he'd given this advice to Rue, it must've been pretty good, he'd never give her poor advice. I was surprised he deemed me worthy, even capable of comprehending his counsel. Unless he was messing with me, but we'd have to be friends for that and we definitely weren't quite there yet. "You're a good husband," he patted my hand that was on the arm rest but embarrassedly took his hand off mine immediately after I looked down at it. I couldn't believe he was actually giving me a compliment, especially one directly relating to the root cause of his resentment towards me. "But you're a terrible brother-in-law." That was the first thing he'd done all morning that had made sense. I rolled my eyes and smiled at the open insult as I looked back at Rue, realizing something that didn't make sense. "You gave this speech to Rue?" I asked, looking at him. It didn't make sense for him to commend her on being a good husband or who's terrible brother-in-law she could possibly be. "A variation." He shrugged and swatted carelessly at the air as he continued looking forward, focusing on remembering what he'd told her I assumed. "Now, back to what I was saying," he announced. "Before I was rudely interrupted." He leaned over the armrest towards me and joked with me. Rex was actually joking with me! I chuckled and went back to listening as I watched Rue take steady breaths. "I'm not gonna repay you by being a terrible brother-in-law back," he promised and I hoped this meant we could finally put the past behind us and be friends. "So I'm gonna need you to go next door so that you can get taken care of, mister." I looked to my left to see him pointing at the wall to the other medical room and I laughed at his word choice. "Mister?" I repeated through my laughter. "It's like you were made for each other," he commented on Rue and I, rolling his eyes and shaking his head at the ceiling. Apparently, she had responded similarly, who wouldn't though? He stood up and patted my shoulder, the one that wasn't injured, and left the room. I sighed, dreading leaving her all alone, but I knew my wife. She would've complied with her brother's orders and gone next door to get fixed up, it's what I knew she would want me to do too. I placed a gentle kiss on her lips that, for once, didn't kiss me back and reluctantly shuffled out of the room, limping on my right leg. I looked down at my legs, appearing unhurt and wondering when the hobbling had started. I hadn't noticed if I had been earlier and I didn't feel any discomfort from that specific source now, but that could have perhaps been because the area was numb now, or other areas of my body were radiating such pain that the sensation was being canceled out. "Appa!" I looked up at the sound of Ria's shrill voice calling out to me, but there was no one in front of me. I turned around, hoping it wasn't an illusion and saw her scampering towards me, watching her step closely so as not to fall. I pressed my palm to my mouth, suppressing a choked sob. When we were leaving for Naboo, she was just then learning to take her first steps, now she was practically running. She startled backwards slightly when she halted and looked up at me, probably concerned by the scars on my face and my black eye, but when I crouched down to her level and she heard my voice, her enthusiasm returned. "Hey, Cupcake!" I held out my arms to her and she collapsed into me. I hugged her as tightly as I could, with one hand on her back and the other behind her head, feeling her budding hair that was just as curly as mine, but the platinum blonde color of her mother's. "I missed you," I whispered as I stood up with her in my arms and saw Ahsoka standing in front of me, observing us in adoration. I had come to know her as Ahsoka, but Rue knew her as Commander Tano and that was what she'd always called her so I tried to call her that in Rue's presence, but it felt too formal to address her by her military title. "Thank you so much for taking care of her while we were gone," I thanked her, assuming she was the one who'd taken responsibility for the children during our leave since Rue had assigned her that task. Ria gave me a big, slobbering kiss on the cheek as she wrapped her short arms around my neck and I chuckled at her compassion towards me, but wiped the drool off with the back of my hand, I could do without that. "How was the little chipmunk?" I asked as I secured her to my side, hammocking one arm underneath her, hoping she hadn't attacked Ahsoka with her signature, open-mouthed kisses at some point. "Excellent," she answered, straightening herself as she stood at attention with her hands behind her back and I swelled with pride for my well-behaved daughter as I looked down at her, knowing she'd only inherited that quality from her mother. "No issues at all," Ahsoka assured me as Ria clapped her hands and babbled, letting me know in her own language she was happy to see me. "The triplets," Ahsoka looked down and cleared her throat as if to introduce a sore subject. "On the other hand…" She trailed off as she looked up, allowing me to draw my own conclusions and I was almost afraid to ask. As if on cue, the three troublemakers scurried in, darting in between Ahsoka's legs and yelling over each other incoherently. Although younger in age, they seemed to be maturing at the same pace, if not faster, than Ria. "Hey, Squirt!" I greeted Armani who won the race and reached me first, winning the prize of being scooped up by my other free hand. If I'd had more, I would've carried all of them, but unfortunately, I was not a Besalisk. "Did you come here to see Uncle Ash?" I referred to myself in the third person like I usually did when talking to little kids as I rose back up on my feet, both arms occupied with Armani and Ria who were facing each other, gossiping in their secret dialect. "Hey, Ladybug!" I looked down at Kali who'd wrapped herself around my apparently injured leg and sat on my foot, looking up at me sympathetically. I realized with their enhanced abilities due to the force they must be feeling everything I was feeling and wanted to help. I didn't want them to worry so I focused on the reason I'd nicknamed Kali 'Ladybug'. Her rich, dark brown eyes, like spots on a ladybug's back, stared up at me curiously. She'd inherited those eyes from her mother, while her hair was all her father's. It was coarse and dense and bright, fiery red, just like a ladybug. "And how's my little man?" I directed my attention to Kai as he crashed into my other leg and held on for dear life, sitting down on my other foot. "Dada!" He cried and buried his cheek into my shin. I sighed and didn't correct him this time since there was no point in doing so. He was only a year and three months old, no sense in trying to explain it to him, besides, he was technically correct by now. I hadn't expected Rebel to sign the adoption papers immediately, I hadn't even talked to Rue about it. I had only sought after Rebel's verbal permission to be temporary guardians of her children because I would've hated to overstep my bounds and meddle in disciplinary matters without her authorization, but she seemed to not think she would ever be coming back and it all happened so fast. I never wanted to replace Sawyer and I doubted I could give them as enjoyable of a childhood as he could've given them. "You'll be a great father to them all," Ahsoka said, as if reading my mind, and then I realized she actually could do that. She chuckled, again seeming to read my thoughts. "Sawyer is lucky to have a friend like you to raise his children for him." She flicked one of her hands in a gesture towards two of his three children that had wrapped themselves around my legs. "Thank you," I sighed, wanting to reject all commendations that were sent my way for caring for Sawyer's kids when I really did love them as my own and would've cared for them lovingly as an uncle in the same way, had Sawyer not died. Sure, they were a pain in the butt sometimes, but they were still my nieces and nephew, and they had good hearts. "But this is quite literally the least I could do." I'd heard that saying before, but I'd only just grasped the true meaning of it when I was able to put it into context. In comparison to what Sawyer'd done for me, this was a mere expression of gratitude. "You remind me of my master," Ahsoka said thoughtfully as she pointed at me with a cocked eye marking. I was flattered I could remind someone of a Jedi, my heroes growing up, nonetheless another Jedi being the one to be reminded by me! "He would've been a great father," she said somewhat melancholy. I wondered what had happened to him and, more importantly, who he was. "Who was your master?" I asked, leaning forward eagerly. She took a deep, strenuous breath. "He was the man that held the lightsaber to your throat," she said regretfully as she gazed down at her foot, pawing at the ground. Of course, now I remember, Rue had told me who her general was back when we first started dating, back when I childishly asked her questions like rapid fire about what the war was like. She patiently answered, even though I'm sure she was wary about trusting someone she'd just met with such personal information, but she never deprived me. She'd told me Rebel's commander was Commander Tano, General Skywalker's padawan, which was why they'd been able to continue working so closely together after their graduation. How could I be so stupid? I had been too blinded by the fact that I'd been compared to a Jedi, too preoccupied with wanting to know if it had been one of the more prominent Jedi during the war, to even think about what I was asking before I'd asked it, a problem I'd encountered in the past. Now that I had been bestowed the greatest honor of being likened to my childhood role model, I felt especially unworthy because I was sure I'd brought up unpleasant memories for her. I wondered how she knew of the lightsaber incident, perhaps Obi-Wan had told her, or maybe she was doing the mind reading thing again. I hoped she wasn't reading my mind so the real reason behind my wanting to know what Jedi I reminded her of remained a secret, but I hoped she could sense the remorse exuding from me. "Your master was Anakin Skywalker?" I asked, clarifying, though the answer was clear and she nodded her head. "I'm so sorry," I apologized, feeling my arms beginning to shake from weakness after holding Armani and Ria for this long. I used to be able to carry them all day. I kept talking to distract myself from wondering if it was the kids who'd grown heavier or me who'd grown frailer. "I had no idea." That was a lie, one I figured she'd pick up on. I had some idea, I just didn't have the brilliant idea to think before speaking. "It's okay." She smiled amusedly and I concluded she'd definitely been reading my thoughts. "You won't end up like him," she assured me and I felt stabilized on a topic I wasn't aware I needed stability on. I'd never been worried I'd turn on the rebellion in order to save Rue, even in my dream, I knew that wasn't how I'd really react, but a reflection of all my worst fears combined. "Thank you," I thanked Ahsoka for that sense of relief now that it had practically been confirmed that such a thing would never happen. She bowed her head to me respectfully, though I didn't deserve her respect, and she passed by me. I stood rooted there in a daze, trying to think of a way to atone for my notorious foot-in-mouth disease before she walked too far away. "Commander Tano," I called after her as I spun around, my legs weighed down with Kai and Kali still clinging to them. She turned back around to face me, awaiting my next words which I myself didn't even have fully planned out. "You won't either." I shook my head, knowing she could never be as vile as Vader and that she had blossomed into a legendary Jedi, one Anakin Skywalker, my hero, would be proud of. Her eyes seemed to glisten with tears as she dipped down to the ground slightly, her knees sinking a little and she looked at me gratefully. I nodded my head to her once, feeling proud I'd hopefully shared that sense of relief with her, even though, coming from me who could not read one's future as she could, it wasn't as confirmed. I had confidence in what I'd promised though. "Wanna hear a story, kiddos?" I looked down at each of their chubby, innocent faces, staring up at me with great interest as I turned around and headed for the bedroom, waddling since Kai and Kali still refused to let go of my legs. The medic would just have to wait, the kids were with me now and they needed to be entertained. Ahsoka deserved a break after taking responsibility for them in our stead, plus, I had a few months of memories to make up for. Our bedroom was frozen in time as we'd left it, the bed still made, my latest book of poetry that Rue had bought for me still on my childhood desk, open to the page I'd stopped reading on, and Cole's crib that I had begun constructing before we'd left, unfinished in a dark corner of the room. I turned away from it, forcing down everything I was feeling; grief, anger, confusion on why this had happened to us. I could understand why this was happening to me, but I didn't understand why the force had to punish Rue along with me, she hadn't done anything wrong. Perhaps it was to make me suffer more, seeing her in pain really was the worst punishment for me. I never knew I could love someone so much that I could experience their own torture and sorrow and it could affect me deeper than my own emotions. I cared for her more than myself. What I felt for her was more than love, it was devotion, it was commitment, it was true love. I needed her to wake up so I could tell her that. I cleared my throat and shook my head, trying to refrain from driving myself into hysteria without her and instead focused on the kids that required my attention. I couldn't trouble anyone else with the burden of watching them after I'd shirked accountability for so long. I sat Armani down on the bed, propping her up with a throw pillow behind her back, even though she was plenty capable of keeping herself upright by now. Rue said I spoiled them, but they were my babies and they're only little once. I cradled my true, fleshly daughter in my arms and swung her back and forth, pretending to wind up to launch her onto the bed, gasping every time she reached the peak of each swing as she giggled. Her laugh sounded just like her mother's. "Whee!" I finally bent at the waist, flopping onto the bed in a controlled measure so that the impact with the mattress didn't send her flying out of my hands. She laughed infectiously as I held her up by her torso, otherwise she would've toppled over due to her belly laugh. I was glad I could amuse her so much and sat her up like her cousin on the other side of the bed, leaving enough room for me to sit in between them. I stood back up and reached down, prying Kai off of my leg and laying him down on his back in front of Ria. I was able to peel Kali off my other leg too after wrangling with her death grip for a few moments, and held her in the crook of my arm as I walked over to the bookshelf on my side of the bed. I had claimed the right side of the bed when Rue and I moved in together since she had no preference, having never shared a bed with someone before, otherwise I would've been a perfect gentleman in letting her choose first. I had always wanted to wake up on the right side of the bed, as the saying goes, but now, living with Rue, I think it's more about waking up to the right person beside you, than on the right side of the bed. I skimmed through the book titles as I traced my finger along the spines of the books. I never read much as a kid, but Sawyer did and I had inherited all his books, something I was grateful for now to share with both of our children. "How about some horror?" I presented the option sarcastically, shaking my head as I shot down my own fake suggestion, betting I could tell a better horror story by describing the horrifying, yet true experiences we'd had in the castle. "Or mystery?" I hooked my finger around one of the books, tilting it out of the slot to get a peek at the cover as I recognized the title as one of the books Sawyer had read during his summer reading project for school. I was never interested in the program, the thought of doing school work outside of school bored me to death. I couldn't understand why it interested him, but it was always nice to see him so passionate about something, to see him conjure up inspiration for new art projects. I tucked the novel back into the bookshelf, deciding they probably wouldn't be able to appreciate the suspense until they were older. There were a few of my books integrated into the mix, along with one I'd bought for Rue while we were dating. "Perhaps even romance?" I smirked as I found it and pulled it out of the crevice it had been pushed into. I had told Rue when I'd given it to her that we'd write our own love story and it would be the greatest of all time. Cheesy stuff, I know, I know, but for some inexplicable reason she still married me. I turned around to face the kids and dangled the paperback in front of them jokingly, as if it were an option and we wouldn't revert to the same old tale I'd always read to them. It seemed to be their favorite, and if I'm being honest, mine too. "No, you're too young for that." I told them the reason I had chosen not to read that particular book to them today and restored it to its rightful place. "How about some good, old fashioned fantasy?" I quickly located the familiar spine in the same spot as always and crawled into bed in between Ria and Armani without waiting for a response. I settled Kali into a prone position on my chest and snuggled Ria and Armani up close to my sides with Kai using my stomach as a pillow before I flipped open the pages and began reading. "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…" I read the opener in my narrative voice and licked my fingers to turn the next page, a habit I realized I picked up from my father. Soon enough, the room was filled with the soft whistles of all four children snoring simultaneously. "And they lived happily ever after." I read the last line in a whisper, though I knew the kids were soundly asleep and wouldn't get to hear the ending, I had to see it through, I couldn't leave it on a cliffhanger. "The end." I shut the book with a sense of satisfaction. I did love happy endings. I kissed the top of Kali's head and maneuvered my way out from underneath Kai, Ria, and Armani without disturbing them while I held Kali in one hand and the book in the other. I walked over to the bookshelf with a bounce in my step while making shushing sounds with my mouth as Kali had begun to stir and fuss. I managed to lull her back to sleep and stocked the shelf with its missing book, then went to the nursery next door and laid her down in her crib, pulling the fluffy blanket in her cradle up to her chin. I returned to the bedroom and did the same for her brother and sister, picking them up, swaying with them to the nursery, placing them down in their cribs, and tucking them into sleep. I made the final trip back into my bedroom and scooped up Ria, setting her down in her bed and stroking her cheek with my finger, smiling at the way her eyelashes twitched as she dreamt and she sucked on her thumb. I yawned, exhausted myself, but I couldn't bring myself to sleep in Rue and I's bed alone and went to the refresher to examine my injuries instead. I stumbled on my way there, a dizzy spell overtaking me, and I had to pause, closing my eyes and pursing my lips as I clutched the wall for support. Once the room had stopped spinning long enough for me to enter, I looked in the mirror and was met with my scarred face, my puffy, purple colored eye, and my split upper lip. I groaned at how awful I looked and hypnotically reached up to touch my bruise, knowing it would hurt, but being unable to stop myself. I winced when my fingers barely grazed over my eye making contact with it and leaned the palm of one hand on the counter to get closer to the mirror to inspect my wounds further. I lifted my hand to my hairline, sweeping back my curls to study the open gash on my forehead. I cringed and leaned back, away from the reflection, feeling sick. I ran my hand through my hair, brushing it out to cover up the cut, when a silver shimmer caught my eye. I combed through my curls again to find and single out the source of the glint. I plucked a gray hair from my scalp and looked at it contemptuously. A gray hair, and I was only 24! Being a father of four was more taxing than I thought apparently. I sighed, puffing out my cheeks as the strand of hair wavered in the gust between my index finger and thumb. I dropped it into the trash can where it belonged and began to cough as I watched it flutter down into the wastebasket, joining empty shampoo bottles and discarded toilet paper rolls. Every muscle that contracted when I coughed was sore and I wished I could stop the coughing fit not just because it hurt, but because I didn't want to wake the kids. When my wish had finally been granted and I took my hand away from my mouth that I had been using to muffle the sounds, it had patches of mucusy blood on it. "Oh, that's not good," I said out loud, looking at my palm with wide eyes. I felt nauseous and my stomach churned as the back of my jaw near my ears began to tingle and my cheeks filled with saliva. I knew I was about to vomit so I lurched over to the toilet and knelt in front of it, gripping the rim fiercely and puked into the bowl. I hadn't eaten in a few days with the empire starving me near death, though that was the least of my worries, so what splattered into the water below was mainly just spit, though there were splotches of blood scattered in the expulsion. "Yeah," I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "I really need to get that checked out." I stood up and nearly slipped, thankfully catching myself on the corner of the counter and pinched the bridge of my nose between my index finger and thumb, waiting for the dizziness to subside. Once it had, I staggered my way to the med bay. "Mr. Lander," the med droid addressed me incorrectly. Mr. Lander was my father, I wasn't worthy enough to have earned the title. "How can I assist you?" 2-1B asked genially, though the reason I was there was anything but pleasant. "My eye," I pointed at the afflicted area as I stood in the doorway, unsure if I needed an appointment or not. When the droid indicated for me to enter, I shuffled in farther to the dimly lit, sanitized room. "And my shoulder," I added, gesturing at my self-diagnosed dislocated shoulder and remembering the stinging pains in my back that I still didn't know the extent of the damage to. "And my back," I scoffed, deciding the list was too long and could be sufficed in one word. "Everything." I summarized, looking at the droid's neutral expression. "Have a seat." It patted on the gurney layered in white, crinkly examination paper with its mechanical hand and I obeyed, walking over to it and hopping up to sit on it. "Disrobe." It ordered while staring at me unblinkingly with its inhuman yellow photoreceptors and standing directly in front of me. "Uhh…" I gaped back at the droid, my hands unmoving on the cot on either side of me. I'd never undressed in front of anyone but Rue before, much less been ordered to. "Your shirt." It explained that my shirt was in the way of its examination of the lacerations on my back, which made sense. "Oh!" I exclaimed now that I understood and grabbed the back of the shirt at the neckline and began to take it off, pulling it over my head. "Ow!" I winced as my clothing rubbed against my blistered skin causing it to fester. I was finally able to shed myself of it and crumpled it up into a ball that I set down beside me. The droid approached me and placed one hand on top of my aching shoulder and I flinched, but it simply continued by placing its other hand against the side of my shoulder, ignoring my discomfort. "What are you doing?" I asked nervously as I looked down at the metal hands, wondering if I should be sedated for this. I'd never had so much as a broken bone as a child so this was a new experience for me, I had no idea what to expect. I'd been involved in one speeder accident as a teenager, but nothing as severe as this. "Ow!" I cried out as I heard the crunch of my joints being popped back into the socket. My eyes moistened as I tensed up, expecting to feel the stab of pain shoot up my neck, but I didn't, I instead felt relief and puffed out a breath as I relaxed my muscles. "Roll your shoulder for me." The med droid pressed its hand against the front of my shoulder and I complied tentatively, rotating my shoulder forward, bracing for pain once again. "Better?" The droid asked, still holding onto my shoulder, testing its functionality. "Yes," I nodded, realizing it felt normal again and my movements didn't cause me as much agony. "Thank you." I looked up at 2-1B as it turned around and fumbled with a tray of medical instruments, then faced me again, holding up a blue fabricated arm sling. I bent my arm at my elbow and jutted it out towards the droid cooperatively, allowing it to situate my arm in the sling and loop the strap over my neck. I permitted my arm to go limp, the sling supporting it as the medic sifted around the equipment again, turning around with a slit lamp in its possession. "Have you been experiencing any nausea?" It switched on the light and shone it in my right eye, the one that was bruised and my vision out of was blurry. I jerked my head back at the influx of brightness and tried to steady my head as I looked forward again. "Yeah," I answered as 2-1B diverted the light to my other eye. "I just threw up before I came in here actually." I omitted the detail of there being blood in my vomit, I just wanted this to be over as quickly as possible so that I could go back and see Rue. I needed to be there when she woke up to grant her every request, to assure her she wasn't alone, to alleviate her trauma, and to break the news to her gently. Besides, if this droid was a good medic, it'd notice there was something amiss without my telling it so, if it was really something serious. "What about balance?" It clicked off the light and put the device away before picking up a flimsi and stylus and jotting down a few notes I couldn't see. "Pretty wobbly." I admitted, blinking away the red dots the bright light had left in my eyes and remembering all the times I'd tripped on my way here when I was never so clumsy previously. "Vivid dreams?" It asked, scribbling down more words on the same flimsi. "Very vivid." I responded truthfully, without going into detail, wondering what that had to do with my condition. "Headache?" The droid questioned, hovering the stylus above the sheet, waiting for more of my replies to copy down. "Terrible," I groaned, massaging my pounding head. "You have a concussion." 2-1B diagnosed me and set the patient information document down on the stretcher beside me. I was surprised to learn all my symptoms compiled into something as serious as a concussion, I had gotten my head hit pretty hard by those electro staffs though. I wondered how long it would last and how I could treat it, but I was sure 2-1B would sort all that out later. Speaking of him, he grabbed the stethoscope off the rolling table behind him and pressed the disc shaped resonator against my chest, listening to my heartbeat and respiration. "Breathe in." He instructed and I inhaled deeply, straightening up to allow more air in. "Breathe out." The medic commanded and I exhaled through my mouth. It tossed the apparatus aside and instructed me to spin around so that my back faced it. "Is this going to hurt?" I asked as I watched it attach a spraying adaptor to its arm with a bottle containing bacta dangling down from the sprayer. It ignored my nervousness and began squirting the healing mixture onto my back. "Ow, ow, ow!" I yelped rapidly, each word following the other right after it as the thick, gelatinous substance was applied to my skin, feeling the burning sensation of my cuts being sterilized. I straightened up as I squirmed, trying to escape from the spritzing. Eventually though, it was over. "Does that answer your question?" The droid finally replied snarkily. Now I understood why Rue liked this droid so much, it probably reminded her of Rex. "Yes," I answered over my shoulder sarcastically and felt a coolness wash over my back as the droid lathered a bacta patch over the entire area. "Keep that bacta patch on for about a week," it stepped back, letting me know it was finished as I picked up my shirt and reclothed myself. "You should be better by then." It speculated and went over to a cabinet, opening one of the cupboards above the counter and removing a bottle of pills that it extended towards me. "Take one of these a day to help with the headaches." The medicine rattled around in the container and I gulped, remembering my addiction in high school as I inched away from the drugs. Sawyer had been the only one to know about my dependency at the time and aided me in quitting. He had been my strongest supporter and my harshest critic, both sides of him molded me into the clean person I was now. I'd told Rue about my struggles when the time was right and she promised me that I would always have her support too. She told me how proud of me she was and she praised me for my perseverance and my honesty in telling her, that alone made the uphill battle of quitting all the more worthwhile. I witnessed how much my relapses hurt Sawyer in the past, I couldn't do that to Rue. I couldn't risk getting hooked again, no matter how much pain I was in without them, seeing her hurt would always be worse, losing her approval would be devastating. Plus, she had so much on her plate, I couldn't add to that by forcing her to monitor my intake, so it was smarter to just decline and prevent the temptation altogether. "No, thanks." I held up my palm towards the bottle, blocking my view of it as I shook my head. "I'm good." I smiled so that the medic would believe I was faring just fine without them. "I've had issues in the past," I said vaguely, shrugging when the droid simply blinked, not seeming to be satisfied without a reason for my decline, still offering the pain medication to me. After a few moments of silence, it was finally broken by its mechanical voice. "Other than that," it walked back over to the counter and returned the pain reliever to the shelf and I sighed, feeling relieved I had withstood the pressure. "All I can prescribe to you is rest," it said as it shut the cupboard and marched back over to stand in front of me. Apparently that was the only remedy for a concussion, but I was glad my other injuries had been properly tended to, that way I could focus on Rue and she wouldn't be too worried about me hopefully, knowing I had gotten the proper care, and Rex would be pleased with me too. I would also be setting a good example for my kids, in that, sometimes you needed to make sure you first were strong enough to then be strong for other people and I definitely needed to be strong for Rue in the days to come. She'd always been tough and rarely shed a tear as far as I knew, but everyone has their weak moments. Force knows she's seen me during mine and made sure I knew I could count on her in those dark times, she needed to know she could count on me just the same.